WEBVTT
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[National Library of Medicine. HF 1685. This transfer made: 04/13/06 Length: 00:35:03]
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[United States Navy Training Film. Restricted. P.S.L. 1945]
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[Combat Fatigue Irritability]
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Attendant: The doctor says this will make you feel better.
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Sailor: Yeah.
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Sailor: God, how I hate these rest hours.
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Sailor: Yeah, if you can sleep.
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Sailor: Course you can sleep, sitting like this guy with your eyes open.
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Sailor: I still say malaria doesn't kill ya.
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Sailor: Like hell it doesn't. An old uncle of mine had it in Scranton. Had it for forty years in his bones and out it came every three years, the day after Christmas.
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Sailor: Yeah, too much Christmas booze, that's all.
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Sailor: Oh, don't give me that.
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Lucas: Your play.
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Sailor: Uh huh.
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Lucas: Aw, Jesus, you're slow.
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Sailor: Oh, shut up.
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Lucas: I said it was your play.
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Sailor: Okay. Okay. Here. How's this?
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Lucas: What a jerk.
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Attendant: Dr. Bush wants to see you, Lucas.
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Lucas: Aw, for Christ's sake.
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Sailor: Now what'd ya do?
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Lucas: Okay.
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Sailor: Good luck.
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Doctor: [knock at door] Come in.
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Attendant: This is Lucas, sir.
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Doctor: Sit down, Lucas.
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Lucas: Thank you, sir.
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Doctor: Cigarette?
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Lucas: No, sir.
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Doctor: You know, Lucas, I've been wondering about you. During the weeks that you've been here, I've noticed that, unlike the other men, you don't talk in our group sessions.
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Lucas: What is there to talk about, sir?
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Doctor: Lots. I hear the other men getting quite a few things off their chests. You should be able to see that they feel better by so doing.
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Doctor: What ship were you on, Lucas?
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Lucas: The Montandan, sir.
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Doctor: The Montandan was sunk wasn't she?
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Lucas: Yes, sir. Last May. South of Mindanao on a high sea. Torpedo aft.
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Doctor: And you were a fireman?
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Lucas: Am, sir.
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Doctor: Certainly.
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Lucas: And it's a tough job being a fireman. Always below deck, you never see what goes on. That's why I'm fed up. Nobody gets it. Nobody.
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Doctor: Maybe not. And yet there may be some of us, even among those of us who haven't even been there, who do understand.
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Lucas: What do you, sir, know about what it feels like to be a fireman? What does anybody know what it feels like to be a fireman, except a fireman? You gotta be there to know. You gotta feel that goddamn heat.
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On the Montandan it was always 128 degrees below decks. 128 degrees of sweat and more sweat. No place to go or to move to.
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Those guys topside have it soft. They can breath air, move around, see the enemy. Hell, we don't know whether the next minute will bring a bomb or whether there's a torpedo coming for us right now!
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Doctor: What was your job in the engine room, Lucas?
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Lucas: I was striking for water tender. I watched the lines feeding water to the boilers. That's why I couldn't move, I had to stay with those goddamn valves!
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The guys topside can take it out on the enemy. They can shoot a gun! All I could do was wish I could twist a valve but I couldn't because I'd wreck the boiler.
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Christ, the gut says you gotta do something and, well, all you end up with is a burning feeling in your guts and your hands shaking.
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Goddamn it! Look at me! This isn't me, Doctor!
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Doctor: How did you feel, Lucas, when you knew you were safe in the water?
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Lucas: How did I feel?
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Doctor: Yes.
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Lucas: I was damn glad to get out of that hole! Anybody would've been!
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Doctor: No, Lucas, not everybody would have been. That's something you've got to face.
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Furthermore, you didn't really find relief, did you?
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Lucas: I said I was glad to get out of that hole!
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Doctor: Perhaps for a while, but I doubt it for long.
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How about it, Lucas? How about it?
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Lucas: No, sir. I got the feeling I let my buddies down.
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Doctor: That's it, Lucas. And that's something you've got, in a way, to feel proud of. You were in a tight, tense situation, and quite naturally you were afraid.
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You and every other man on that ship. Your buddies in the engine room, the gunners topside, you were all afraid, because that's what happens to men in a battle.
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You were no different from any other man on that ship. Only most of them accepted their fear. You fought against yours.
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Lucas: If I only could have been topside. If I could only have moved around.
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Doctor: It would have made no difference. You see, you let your fear get control of you. You wanted to get out of the engine room. That's why you felt relieved when you were in the water.
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Even though you'd been blown from the engine room, as far as you were concerned, you had escaped. In your mind, you felt that you'd deserted your buddies, your ship. As a result you feel guilty.
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Lucas: Yes, sir.
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Doctor: That's a feeling that you have to face and conquer. And the only way you can do that is to understand that the real cause of your being here is your normal fear in time of battle - fear which you didn't learn to handle properly.
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That you're continuously short-tempered, even mean, that your hands shake, you have a burning sensation in the pit of your stomach -- all stem from this cause. Now in order to start getting well, you have to realize this.
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And in realizing it, remember that fear, and the thoughts that it makes you think at the time, are normal, nothing to be ashamed of, shared by all of the other men who were with you on the Montandan, as well as by the men on all ships.
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Lucas: So, he told me I was scared. That's not what's wrong with me. What's to be scared of around here?
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Attendant: Gee fella, something's the matter. What is it?
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Lucas: I don't know. I don't get it. It seems like I'm always mad and running off at the mouth. But how can being scared when the Japs are shooting at you make you such a bastard after you've gotten back?
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Attendant: The doctors tell us when a fella gets that way it's because he fights being afraid instead of trying to do something about it.
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Lucas: How the hell are you going to do anything about it when your job's just standing there twisting a little valve?
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Attendant: My job's the same sort of thing. In a battle, I'm not shooting a gun, either.
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But I know when I got scared and thought how much I'd like to be somewhere else, I used to think, "All the other guys are, too." They're doing their job, and I'm doing mine. And between us we're giving the enemy a hell of a licking.
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Same thing goes for you. Your job was important. You had to do it so the guys in the turrets could fire the guns, and so guys like me could take care of the wounded.
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You've gotta work your feelings off that way. Like figuring it's a whole ship that's fighting, and since you're part of the crew, you're fighting, too. At least, that's the way I look at it.
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Lucas: Yeah, I know, I used to feel that way sometimes. But what's it got to do with me being on edge all the time, and wanting to smash things?
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And you know it gets worse. When I came back at first I wasn't so bad. Then I saw all these guys sitting around at their desks, shining their pants, goldbricking. I thought what me and my buddies had been through...well, it's what got me started.
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Attendant: Did you ever stop and think that maybe those fellows didn't want to be sitting at desks? Maybe they were there because they were told to be?
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Lucas: Don't give me that, they like it. They like shoving us around, the yellow-bellies.
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[Small Stores. Hours 0900-1500 Monday thru Thursday] I hadn't been at that relocation center more than two hours before I got wise to them.
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Officer: Come on, come on, clear the gangway. You're not allowed to stand around here.
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Sailor: Aw, we're just waiting for Small Stores to open.
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Officer: I don't care what you're waiting for. Get going.
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Lucas: For Christ's sake, mate, what kind of a Navy is this?
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Officer: If you don't start moving along sailor, you'll be finding out.
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Lucas: Yeah.
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Lucas: Yeah, it was just one little thing after another. Hell, do this, do that.
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Officer: Hey sailor, square that hat.
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Lucas: Hey, what do you think I am, a booth?
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Officer: Square it. In case you don't know, this is a taut ship.
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Lucas: A taut ship? Looks to me as if we've run aground, skipper. By the way, do you know there's a war going on? Hah.
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Clerk: I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do until the bureau sends us an adjusted pay account.
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Lucas: You mean because I was dumb enough to get myself torpedoed, I can't get paid?
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Clerk: Oh, it won't take long. You've only been here two days.
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Lucas: Don't you people ever think of anything but your little pieces of paper?
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Clerk: I'm sorry, but you must remember there were a thousand men on your ship. That's a big pay list to clear up. And besides, you're scattered all over the country now.
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Lucas: Look, sister, I've got a thirty-day leave. I need spending money.
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Clerk: Then you can go to the chaplain or the welfare office.
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Lucas: Go to the ch...? Oh, for Chri... Thanks, sister, I'll be seeing ya.
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Well, it just doesn't make any sense. They want you to square your hat, they won't let you stand in line, not even in line! They act as if nothing were different. Hell, we can keep our noses clean without them telling us.
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Sailor: Uh huh. The boys got to have something to do. Holding you down helps fill up the idle hours.
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Lucas: Yeah. Well, thank God I've got this leave coming up. And maybe after it, they'll send me back to a ship where I can feel like myself again.
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Maybe I can get away from these goldbricks that have nothing to do all day but order us guys around, telling us to square our hats.
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I'd like to see them out there. I'd like to see how square an SP's hat is with a hundred Jap planes dive-bombing him. That's the way I felt, and that's the way I feel yet. If it means I'm crazy, all right, I'm crazy.
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Sailor: They don't understand us back here.
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Sailor: Goddamn civilians.
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Sailor: If they knew what's it like being asleep in a foxhole, and having a Jap land on your back, and having to fight it out with him with a knife, I don't think they'd stay home so often on Mondays.
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Sailor: You're damn right they wouldn't.
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Doctor: I guess you're all proving how irritable you are this morning.
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Lucas: Don't think we like it.
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Doctor: I'm sure you don't. One of the unfortunate things about being bad-tempered and quick to take offense is that you cut yourself off from most people.
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Now, there's one thing to get straight, right away. All of these attitudes of yours, your hatred of the land-going Navy, civilians, and so on, are all symptoms of your illness. And they are symptoms for which we must find the cause.
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Sailor: It's because squaring your hat is of no importance that it gets you.
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Doctor: Not at all. The reason you're annoyed by such petty matters lies in your basic condition.
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You know that before the war, before you experienced the tension and the fear of battle, you weren't annoyed by such things.
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As I've told you before, your natural fears in battle were not properly handled. You didn't accept them as part of living, and a necessary part of fighting.
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You held them in, choked them back, until they finally overpowered you. You still have those fears, and it's from them that these irritations arise.
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Sailor: Then why aren't we allowed to leave the hospital? If they just let us go home, get away from military life, we'd forget it. We'd snap out of it.
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Doctor: Lucas, did you go on that thirty-day leave you were talking about?
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Lucas: Yes, sir.
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Sailor: How come?
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Lucas: I wasn't sick yet. At least it hadn't caught up with me.
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Doctor: How was it, Lucas?
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Lucas: It was lousy.
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Doctor: In what way was it lousy?
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Lucas: I know what you're driving at, and that's exactly what it was like. As a matter of fact, if I hadn't gone on that leave, I probably wouldn't be here now.
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To tell the truth, it was damn nice to get home. Mother and Dad were at the train, and so was Sue.
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She and I got engaged before I joined up. She'd been my girl in high school. Anyway, I was glad to see them. It'd been over two years.
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You know that dinner was something, just the way I thought it would be.
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Sue: Want some more coffee, Bob?
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Bob Lucas: Yeah.
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Mother: More ice cream, Bob? There's a lot left.
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Bob Lucas: Gosh, no.
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Dad: Go ahead, Bob. Puts hair on your chest.
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Bob Lucas: [whistles]
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Dad: Well, you used to laugh at it.
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Sue: Here.
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Bob Lucas: Flesh - female flesh - mighty soft!
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Sue: Drink your coffee! [laughter]
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Sue: Oh, isn't it wonderful, Dad. The children here together again, Bob and Sue.
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Dad: Just like old times. Just like it used to be.
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Bob Lucas: Well, that sure was some chow, Mom. Almost as good as Navy chow. Only, we should have had some beans.
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Mother: You know Bob, I was so excited having you home I was afraid I'd forget how to cook.
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Bob Lucas: You sure didn't.
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Sue: I'll say you didn't. Goodness!
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Dad: Well, Bob, would you like Mother and me to go to a movie?
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Sue: Oh, no. No, we should all be together this first evening. Bob will walk me home later.
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Mother: Well we, we could easily go.
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Dad: Oh, Mother, we haven't much gas left, anyway.
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Mother: You'll never know how rationing has tied us down. Dad only gets an A book.
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Dad: Now, you know how I've tried, Martha. It's just that Bill Thomas - oh, he's chairman of the rationing board now - he's never forgotten how I quit his darn factory. Heh, heh - gosh, that's been fifteen years ago, too.
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Bob Lucas: I guess it is sort of tough with just an A book.
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Dad: I'll say it is.
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Mother: I just can't believe you're here, Bob, sitting there with Susan.
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Bob Lucas: [angrily] Mother, that's about the tenth time you've said that.
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I'm sorry, I...
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Sue: Burt Haskins is home, got home just the other day.
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Bob Lucas: Hey, that's swell! What's he on, a furlough?
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Sue: Well, yes, he's just back from Germany.
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Bob Lucas: Hey, what's wrong with all of you, anyway? You're not the same. You're treating me as if I were a stranger.
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Mother: Oh, son.
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Dad: Maybe you're right, Bob. You are a bit of a stranger. Oh, I mean, you've been lots of places and seen, well, the sort of thing we've never seen.
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Sue: That's all it is, Bob.
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Dad: Yes, sir, we've got a lot of ground to cover before we're all caught up. And there's things happened here for you to find out about, too. Ha, ha - we haven't exactly been standing still!
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Mother: Well, I should say not! Why, we've got one of the biggest factories in the country here, and we're not supposed to tell what they make.
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Sue: Only fifty thousand people know it's tanks.
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Mother: Well, it's brought more new people to town. Things are terribly overcrowded.
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Dad: Now, let's let Bob do the talking. He can find out about these things tomorrow. After all, it's not everybody who's been to sea for eighteen months.
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Sue: Was it really bad, I mean all the time?
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Bob Lucas: No, no, of course not. Usually it was just moving from one place to another: Noumea, Guam, Moresby, all those stinking little places.
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Mother: Tell me, Bob, when it happened, I mean, when the ship sank, were there sharks?
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Bob Lucas: Shut up! Shut up, all of you!
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Bob Lucas: Even before I was out of the house, I was ashamed of myself. I had that burning feeling in my stomach, and my hands were shaking. I think I know why now, but then, I didn't.
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Doctor: Why, Lucas?
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Bob Lucas: It brought me back by the questions of those goddamn valves, and I was all wound up and scared all over again. I was too scared to know that that's what it was.
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I really thought that they didn't understand me anymore. Well, anyway, they should have known better than to ask me those questions.
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Doctor: That being scared is certainly part of it, Lucas.
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Bob Lucas: Anyway, I walked the streets for a hell of a long time, trying to figure it out. But, I didn't. I just felt lower and lower by the minute. I couldn't get them. I couldn't get myself, so I decided to pin one on. Brother, did I.
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Lucas: Give me another.
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Bartender: Here, you've had most of it. Finish it.
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Lucas: Smart guy, huh?
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Bartender: What's eating you, sailor?
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Lucas: Not a goddamn thing.
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Bartender: Is this your home town, sailor?
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Lucas: Yeah.
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Bartender: Been home long?
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Lucas: This afternoon.
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Bartender: Oh, a fight with your girl, huh?
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Lucas: No.
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Bartender: Have you got a girl?
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Bartender: Been away a long time, haven't you.
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Lucas: Christ, how many more questions you got?
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Bartender: Hell, it's near closing time. You're the last customer. I'd just as soon talk.
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Lucas: Well, I wouldn't.
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Bartender: Been lots of places, haven't you.
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Lucas: Hell, yes.
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Bartender: What's that first ribbon for?
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Lucas: That's the continental area. The one the goldbricks wear.
00:17:51.460 --> 00:17:54.430
Bartender: What have you got it on for?
00:17:54.430 --> 00:17:59.420
Lucas: Christ, you've got me. That's a good one.
00:17:59.420 --> 00:18:01.560
Bartender: What's the middle ribbon?
00:18:01.560 --> 00:18:09.090
Lucas: That's for Africa. This is the Pacific. The one with the stars in it. They're for getting shot at.
00:18:09.090 --> 00:18:11.180
Bartender: Lot of them, aren't there.
00:18:11.180 --> 00:18:20.720
Lucas: I'll say there are. Plenty of shells behind 'em, too.
00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:22.720
Hey, are you making fun of me?
00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:25.170
Bartender: Hell, no.
00:18:25.170 --> 00:18:46.710
Lucas: You and your...
00:18:46.710 --> 00:18:58.820
Bartender: Go home, sailor, Make it up with somebody. Is it your family, or is it your girl? Here's your change.
00:19:14.980 --> 00:19:20.750
Lucas: So, I went home.
00:20:11.390 --> 00:20:24.630
Lucas: From then on, it was all downhill. Little things got me. One night, I was waiting for Sue to get dressed. We had a date. Her kid brothers were in the room playing.
00:20:24.630 --> 00:20:29.460
Jesus, Larry - watch out!
00:20:29.460 --> 00:20:35.010
Sue...
00:20:35.010 --> 00:20:47.150
I was only really happy when I was with those of the old gang who had come back, particularly with Burt Haskins who lost an arm at Aachen. They hadn't told me that first night. Thought they'd spare my feelings.
00:20:47.150 --> 00:20:55.770
Well, I tell you, us guys that know have got to stick together. And I was thinking when enough of us get back we can rent a place like that old vacant storeroom down on Market Street, and have a club of our own.
00:20:55.770 --> 00:20:57.990
Burt: Yeah, I could start working on it right now.
00:20:57.990 --> 00:20:59.790
Friends: Why not? Sure. Good idea.
00:20:59.790 --> 00:21:02.630
Burt: I'll call Tom McGinnis tomorrow. He's good at raising money.
00:21:02.630 --> 00:21:11.840
Lucas: You know, fellas, we got something there. We could sit around shooting the breeze, have a bar, throw parties. It would be a place of our own.
00:21:11.840 --> 00:21:19.240
But it was with Sue that there was the real trouble. We just couldn't hit it off anymore. God knows we tried.
00:21:19.240 --> 00:21:21.690
It was all right when we couldn't talk.
00:21:21.690 --> 00:22:16.590
[choir singing]
00:22:16.590 --> 00:22:24.820
But later, after church, it was different.
00:22:24.820 --> 00:22:35.320
Sue: It's hard to think what it's like in summer: leaves in the trees, it's hot and thunderstorms. Remember when we used to come out here for weenie roasts and all?
00:22:35.320 --> 00:22:38.920
Lucas: Yeah, I wonder what's happened to that old haywagon, and that old horse.
00:22:38.920 --> 00:22:45.440
Sue: It was wonderful riding that wagon, all of us singing. And there was always a moon, wasn't there?
00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:49.560
Lucas: Seems that way. Ah, that certainly was a long time ago.
00:22:49.560 --> 00:23:03.510
Sue: Not so long. Back in senior year in high school. The time that we went swimming right over there. You proposed to me in the water. It's a silly place to ask a girl to marry you!
00:23:03.510 --> 00:23:07.150
Lucas: Well, I tried everywhere else. Gosh, you were stubborn.
00:23:07.150 --> 00:23:09.260
Sue: We were too young, and you knew it.
00:23:09.260 --> 00:23:10.710
Lucas: You never said that, then.
00:23:10.710 --> 00:23:16.900
Sue: No, maybe I just knew it without realizing it.
00:23:16.900 --> 00:23:21.250
Lucas: I don't get you, Sue. It should have happened. Look what we've missed.
00:23:21.250 --> 00:23:29.940
Sue: We'll have it, darling. It won't be very much longer. We can start all over again, come back here with the gang. Have a weenie roast and go swimming.
00:23:29.940 --> 00:23:35.510
Lucas: How's Burt Haskins gonna go swimming? How do you know how many of the old gang will be around, including me?
00:23:35.510 --> 00:23:39.450
Sue: I'm sure you'll be here. I must be sure of that.
00:23:39.450 --> 00:23:44.520
Lucas: Oh, stop kidding yourself, Sue. Don't you know what this is all about? Don't you know we can't go back?
00:23:44.520 --> 00:23:53.980
Sue: No, I don't. I know that we've got to feel the way we did about each other, or our marriage won't work. You've got to get a hold of yourself, Bob. Ever since you've been home you've been snapping at me, and...
00:23:53.980 --> 00:24:04.640
Lucas: Oh, for God's sake, Sue, you just don't understand anymore. You've changed. Go on home, Sue. I want to be by myself.
00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:12.540
I never felt so low in my life as when I walked away from her. But, there was nothing else I could do.
00:24:12.540 --> 00:24:32.700
For the next couple days, I hung around the house. I was nervous, and felt half sick.
00:24:32.700 --> 00:24:37.670
Dad got the idea it might do me good to go hunting.
00:24:37.670 --> 00:24:55.650
At first it was fine. Dad and I used to hunt a lot. I'd always liked to hunt. I had a sweet gun. I don't know, it seemed good to be out in the woods with the old man. I felt pepped up.
00:24:55.650 --> 00:24:58.240
Dad: You skirt the woods here, Bob. I'll go in and see what I can flush.
00:24:58.240 --> 00:24:59.490
Lucas: Ok.
00:24:59.490 --> 00:25:02.170
Dad: Don't shoot me by mistake, now. I'm no rabbit.
00:25:02.170 --> 00:25:08.980
Lucas: Heh, heh. Ok.
00:25:42.220 --> 00:26:04.750
Dad: Yo! Yo! Hey! Hey!
00:26:04.750 --> 00:26:08.970
Lucas: Christ!
00:26:08.970 --> 00:26:22.910
For Christ's sake, what'd you bring me out here for? Goddamn it! Goddamn it! Goddamn it! Goddamn it!
00:26:22.910 --> 00:26:28.730
So, Dad took me to the doctor. He said something about my nerves and called the Red Cross.
00:26:28.730 --> 00:26:32.220
The Red Cross called the Navy.
00:26:32.220 --> 00:26:38.550
And that's that. No, brother, don't want to go home. Don't want to go home until you're well.
00:26:38.550 --> 00:26:44.650
Sailor: The thing that I don't understand is why did Lucas get all hot and bothered about a rabbit? He didn't have to fire a gun in combat.
00:26:44.650 --> 00:26:45.770
Doctor: Do you know why, Lucas?
00:26:45.770 --> 00:26:48.820
Lucas: No, sir.
00:26:48.820 --> 00:26:55.020
Doctor: Lucas, tell the class again about that torpedoing.
00:26:55.020 --> 00:26:56.140
Lucas: Torpedoing?
00:26:56.140 --> 00:26:59.440
Doctor: Yes. How did you feel when you were in the water?
00:26:59.440 --> 00:27:05.170
Lucas: I told you over and over again! For God's sake, I felt glad! Glad I was out of that ship!
00:27:05.170 --> 00:27:06.410
Doctor: Is that all?
00:27:06.410 --> 00:27:08.450
Lucas: Yes, yes, yes!
00:27:08.450 --> 00:27:11.470
Doctor: I don't think so, or you wouldn't be so excited about it.
00:27:11.470 --> 00:27:22.200
Lucas: Well it is, goddamn it, I tell you it is!
00:27:22.200 --> 00:27:29.940
Lucas: Lots of them were dying all around me.
00:27:29.940 --> 00:27:42.770
Doctor: Easy now, Lucas. We all understand. It takes a lot out of you to face bitter, unpleasant memories. Come inside with me.
00:27:42.770 --> 00:27:51.010
I'll be back in a moment.
00:27:51.010 --> 00:28:06.740
Come over here and lie down, Lucas.
00:28:06.740 --> 00:28:13.180
To say all that takes guts.
00:28:13.180 --> 00:28:23.160
As difficult as it was to do, so much easier will it be from now on.
00:28:23.160 --> 00:28:27.870
You can't dislodge deep-seated, sensitive feelings without hurting.
00:28:27.870 --> 00:28:38.890
You'll feel better shortly. Here, take this. It will help you relax.
00:28:38.890 --> 00:28:56.010
Now, just rest for a bit. We'll talk about it later, when you feel easier.
00:28:56.010 --> 00:29:09.380
You'll feel much better when you wake up. I'll be back.
00:29:09.380 --> 00:29:20.430
Now, let's get some things straight. It took a lot out of Lucas to tell that story. He's a better man for doing it.
00:29:20.430 --> 00:29:29.910
Every one of you must go through a similar realization of what lies behind symptoms, regardless of what they are: irritability, bad dreams, vomiting.
00:29:29.910 --> 00:29:40.350
No matter where you fought, on land, in the air, or on a ship or a sub, you have to face those memories, get them out in the open, exactly as Lucas has done.
00:29:40.350 --> 00:29:49.000
Now, let's consider the whole problem. But first, Clemens -- you see now why Lucas got so hot and bothered about a rabbit, of all things?
00:29:49.000 --> 00:29:51.120
Sailor: Well, maybe.
00:29:51.120 --> 00:29:59.300
Doctor: The moment he raised his gun, the rabbit seemed to disappear, and he saw his mates again, drowning, dying in the water all around him.
00:29:59.300 --> 00:30:03.500
Sailor: Sure, it's just like that feeling that I got when I watched my buddy die.
00:30:03.500 --> 00:30:18.390
Doctor: That's it. What are the simple basic facts? It's quite clear from what we know of Lucas that he was a happy man before this whole business started, the sort of fellow who might run a successful garage or store.
00:30:18.390 --> 00:30:21.310
Liked, well-thought of in his home town.
00:30:21.310 --> 00:30:31.600
He wasn't irritable, bad-tempered, with a chip on his shoulder. Quite the contrary, he was easy to meet, easy to know, a good guy. Then what?
00:30:31.600 --> 00:30:43.150
For eighteen months he's at sea. There's nothing unusual about that. Thousands of men have done as much or more. But Lucas is tied down to valves. He's never completely a part of the crew.
00:30:43.150 --> 00:30:57.060
He doesn't feel that he and the gunners, and the ship's cooks, and the boys in CIC are all one. No, he feels that he's just a little apart - just a little special, wanting to, well, what?
00:30:57.060 --> 00:31:08.980
Wanting to hurl himself at a Jap, whom he'll surely kill. Wanting to shoot down a plane, wanting to do anything except stay where he is and do his job in keeping the ship going and fighting.
00:31:08.980 --> 00:31:23.500
Because he can't do what he thinks he wants to do, or what he thinks he ought to do, he gets all tied up in knots. At the same time, he's scared, scared just as you and every other man is scared when your lives are at stake.
00:31:23.500 --> 00:31:39.080
But Lucas wants his own kind of personal release for that fear. He doesn't realize that the torpedomen, and the gunners, the bridge, and he himself all have to work together to bring down that Jap plane, to blow up that Jap DD.
00:31:39.080 --> 00:31:47.660
It isn't a one-man job, and one man can't get rid of his fear at the expense of others, especially when they're all in the same boat.
00:31:47.660 --> 00:31:59.320
This wanting to do something that isn't his job, is his manner of running away, only he can't. The ship, and his conscience, both have him tied down to those valves.
00:31:59.320 --> 00:32:07.070
Then fate steps in, and gives him what he wants. As a result he's happy, safe in the water, blown out of his problem.
00:32:07.070 --> 00:32:22.790
And then, he sees the crew, his buddies, burning, drowning, dying. And he feels that his safety is somehow part of their misery, their death.
00:32:22.790 --> 00:32:31.510
He feels that because, deep down, he did want to escape, he is therefore, in a way, responsible for their predicament.
00:32:31.510 --> 00:32:39.100
Now you have the facts. But, what can Lucas do about them? What's done is done - you can't erase that.
00:32:39.100 --> 00:32:52.760
What he should do is to accept these feelings, understand them, and discipline them. But he doesn't. Instead, he becomes touchy, fed-up, confused, and mean. Look what happened to him.
00:32:52.760 --> 00:33:02.580
When he first returned, he didn't seem different. Calm on the surface. Nobody could tell that something was gnawing at him, fighting inside.
00:33:02.580 --> 00:33:10.710
But as the days went on, so did his fighting.
00:33:10.710 --> 00:33:16.480
He got worse and worse.
00:33:16.480 --> 00:33:29.160
Then, when he got home on leave, he lashed out at those he loved, because they reminded him of his feeling of guilt, of unworthiness, by asking him simple, natural questions about his experiences.
00:33:29.160 --> 00:33:39.010
He fought against and left the girl he loved, and I'm sure you all realize that he still loves her, because he felt that she no longer understood him.
00:33:39.010 --> 00:33:46.830
Well, how could she? She only knew him by what he said and did. Why, he didn't even understand himself.
00:33:46.830 --> 00:33:59.870
What you have just witnessed has changed him, started him toward a real understanding. He can now realize that all that disconnected, fed-up feeling, which showed itself as a fighting bad temper, comes from something underneath,
00:33:59.870 --> 00:34:12.840
from a feeling of guilt, a feeling of unworthiness, a feeling which he twisted about so that it looked as though everyone else were in the wrong - everyone but Lucas himself.
00:34:12.840 --> 00:34:21.950
That's why we have these group discussions: to help you and Lucas see yourselves as others see you, and to see problems like yours that other men have.
00:34:21.950 --> 00:34:29.050
Furthermore, you and Lucas can put your new knowledge to use, in a variety of constructive ways.
00:34:29.050 --> 00:34:40.980
Occupational therapy will provide Lucas with a profitable physical outlet for his feelings. It will teach him that he can work while solving his problems, and do a better job of both.
00:34:40.980 --> 00:34:49.470
And physical training will help keep him in shape in the meanwhile.
00:34:49.470 --> 00:34:58.730
What goes for Lucas goes for you. For your irritation is only a symptom - a symptom of feelings which you've buried, or tried to deny.
00:34:58.730 --> 00:35:11.340
Like insomnia, or being depressed or sulky, or believing that you're no good. Bad temper is a sign of something - something deeper - something which has to be faced, and understood and worked out.
00:35:11.340 --> 00:35:21.880
When you can do with your problems what Lucas has done with his, you will be free of all your symptoms.
00:35:21.880 --> 00:00:00.000
[The End. Bureau of Aeronautics. 1945. MN-3428c]