WEBVTT 00:00.033 --> 00:00.766 [...] 00:00.766 --> 00:08.499 [Classical music] 00:08.500 --> 00:11.366 [Annette Vaughn:] Well, Doctor, everything seems to be going really very well. 00:11.366 --> 00:15.299 Of course, when Robert gets home, he needs attention. 00:15.300 --> 00:16.833 And he deserves it. 00:16.833 --> 00:19.033 He works so hard. 00:19.033 --> 00:21.633 The children need attention too. 00:21.633 --> 00:24.566 I try hard to please them all. 00:24.566 --> 00:25.966 [...] 00:25.966 --> 00:27.399 But I don't know. 00:27.400 --> 00:29.933 I just seem to be getting these headaches lately. 00:29.933 --> 00:37.866 [Classical music] 00:37.866 --> 00:50.232 [Typewriter keystrokes] 00:50.233 --> 00:51.799 [Joan:] That was Jane on the phone. 00:51.800 --> 00:54.500 She's going to be able to make it to the meeting this week after all. 00:54.500 --> 00:57.366 So it looks like everyone's going to be here for a change. 00:57.366 --> 01:00.399 Ah… my coffee! [Typing continues] 01:00.400 --> 01:04.400 Damn, it's all over the desk! 01:04.400 --> 01:06.833 I'm sorry. 01:06.833 --> 01:11.866 [Typing continues] 01:11.866 --> 01:17.466 [Telephone 1st ring] 01:17.466 --> 01:23.399 [Telephone 2nd ring] 01:23.400 --> 01:26.000 [Telephone 3rd ring] 01:26.000 --> 01:27.433 [Mrs. Hall:] Hello. 01:27.433 --> 01:28.999 [Mrs. Hall's daughter:] Mom hi. How are you? 01:29.000 --> 01:32.400 Look, I just wanted to tell you I’ll pick you up and see you about 11:30, okay? 01:32.400 --> 01:34.433 The kids have hockey practice or something. 01:34.433 --> 01:35.833 We'll all have lunch together, 01:35.833 --> 01:38.799 and maybe you and I can have a chat. Okay? 01:38.800 --> 01:40.000 [Mrs. Hall:] Yes, dear. 01:40.000 --> 01:43.000 [Mrs. Hall's daughter:] Shall I bring anything along? Chocolate cake? 01:43.000 --> 01:44.400 [Mrs. Hall:] No, dear, no cake. 01:44.400 --> 01:45.766 [Mrs. Hall's daughter:] Anyway, Ruth is on a diet, 01:45.766 --> 01:48.399 and you know she can't resist your cake. So better not. 01:48.400 --> 01:50.666 Look, mom, I'm sorry, but I have to dash. 01:50.666 --> 01:52.132 We're having some people in tonight. 01:52.133 --> 01:53.699 Mom, are you okay? 01:53.700 --> 01:56.000 [Mrs. Hall:] Yes, dear. 01:56.000 --> 01:58.200 [Mrs. Hall's daughter:] Okay mom, must go. Bye bye. 01:58.200 --> 01:58.866 [Phone hangs up] 01:58.866 --> 01:59.899 [Mrs. Hall:] Goodbye, dear. 01:59.900 --> 02:00.533 [Phone hangs up] 02:00.533 --> 02:10.166 [Exciting music] 02:10.166 --> 02:12.432 [Dawn Berenson:] You remember Sandy from California? [Speaker 1:] Uh-huh. 02:12.433 --> 02:13.666 [Dawn Berenson:] Well, she came into the city yesterday, 02:13.666 --> 02:16.332 so the five of us decided to take her out for dinner. 02:16.333 --> 02:18.533 Afterwards, we all went back to Martha's place. 02:18.533 --> 02:20.533 And about four o'clock in the morning, 02:20.533 --> 02:22.799 John, I think, asked if we wanted to go in for a swim 02:22.800 --> 02:25.033 because Martha’s pool is open all night long. 02:25.033 --> 02:25.766 [Speaker 1:] Terrific!. 02:25.766 --> 02:27.699 [Dawn Berenson:] Yeah, we all decided to go in. 02:27.700 --> 02:29.466 It was really super, mind you. 02:29.466 --> 02:32.099 But we ended up having breakfast there at seven o'clock this morning. 02:32.100 --> 02:33.666 I can't believe it! 02:33.666 --> 02:36.466 I went home and showered and changed, and then I went to work. 02:36.466 --> 02:38.432 I'm absolutely zonked. 02:38.433 --> 02:40.833 [Speaker 1:] You're just incredible. I don't know how you do it. 02:40.833 --> 02:42.066 [Dawn Berenson:] No, I don’t know either. 02:42.066 --> 02:43.032 [Speaker 1:] Do you want another? 02:43.033 --> 02:46.066 [Dawn Berenson:] Sure. [?] times [?] Cheers. 02:46.066 --> 02:47.232 [Glasses clink] 02:47.233 --> 02:50.199 [...] 02:50.200 --> 02:52.233 [Music] 02:52.233 --> 03:02.966 [When We Fall] 03:02.966 --> 03:05.832 [Music fades out] 03:05.833 --> 03:09.233 [Narrator:] For every woman who's a skid row alcoholic in Canada today. 03:09.233 --> 03:12.433 There are three, four, maybe even five, 03:12.433 --> 03:14.066 who look and act much more like 03:14.066 --> 03:16.332 the other four women we've just seen. 03:16.333 --> 03:18.433 They are also alcoholics. 03:18.433 --> 03:33.099 [Classical music] 03:33.100 --> 03:39.300 [Woman drinking from a bottle in a paper bag] 03:39.300 --> 03:49.400 [Classical music] 03:49.400 --> 03:51.700 [Annette Vaughn:] An average day for me? 03:51.700 --> 03:55.933 Well, of course, every day starts and ends with Robert and the children. 03:55.933 --> 04:02.933 I get Robert off to work first and then the children to school. 04:02.933 --> 04:05.066 Our cleaning lady does the major housecleaning, 04:05.066 --> 04:08.566 but I like to keep everything reasonably tidy for her. 04:08.566 --> 04:11.732 [Classical music continues] 04:11.733 --> 04:17.599 Oh, I often go out with friends for morning coffee. Occasionally, lunch. 04:17.600 --> 04:19.533 Afternoons? 04:19.533 --> 04:23.533 Well, coffee sometimes, or a drink. 04:23.533 --> 04:27.266 Oh, sherry, gin and tonic. 04:27.266 --> 04:29.499 A light wine maybe. 04:29.500 --> 04:32.100 [...] 04:32.100 --> 04:33.333 In the morning? 04:33.333 --> 04:38.333 Well, I have, but not that often. 04:38.333 --> 04:41.499 Maybe two. 04:41.500 --> 04:45.366 Maybe three times a week, but not on weekends. 04:45.366 --> 04:48.232 [...] 04:48.233 --> 04:53.199 Mmm. I suppose I do. Maybe three or four in the afternoon, 04:53.200 --> 04:55.100 if I really feel pushed. 04:55.100 --> 04:58.500 [Classical music continues] 04:58.500 --> 05:02.566 Robert? Oh, he doesn't say anything. 05:02.566 --> 05:04.599 We don't talk about it really. 05:04.600 --> 05:08.600 Well, what would we say, anyway? 05:08.600 --> 05:10.200 Problems? 05:10.200 --> 05:12.766 What problems could I have? 05:12.766 --> 05:16.999 I have a kind and good husband. Two lovely children. 05:17.000 --> 05:23.100 Lisa wants to go to medical school, and Bob Jr. wants to be an architect. 05:23.100 --> 05:26.800 Without Robert, without them, I’d… I’d be nothing. 05:26.800 --> 05:42.600 [Music] 05:42.600 --> 05:45.400 [TV game show host:] I'm sorry, the clock beat you. But you had some nice prizes. 05:45.400 --> 05:46.733 John, what were they, sir? 05:46.733 --> 05:47.833 [TV announcer] Well, now let's see. 05:47.833 --> 05:52.566 Susan won the Liv-a Snaps dog treats and Howard Johnson's getaway days! 05:52.566 --> 05:55.232 Congratulations from Concentration! [Applause] 05:55.233 --> 05:56.033 [TV audio fades out] 05:56.033 --> 05:57.699 [Joan:] He left two years ago. 05:57.700 --> 05:59.900 Billy was five and Jan was seven. 05:59.900 --> 06:02.200 Sure, they minded! 06:02.200 --> 06:06.000 We all minded, but there was no way. 06:06.000 --> 06:09.266 He was practically living with his girlfriend, 06:09.266 --> 06:11.799 so who was I to try and keep him? 06:11.800 --> 06:18.300 Anyway, I didn't want him. [Laugh] Ah, I guess he didn't want me. 06:18.300 --> 06:22.800 Yeah, I… I suppose I'm lonely. 06:22.800 --> 06:25.866 Oh, uh… Maybe not lonely, but… 06:25.866 --> 06:27.232 [TV in background] 06:27.233 --> 06:30.433 Well, okay. Lonely. 06:30.433 --> 06:32.099 I have the kids of course. 06:32.100 --> 06:36.866 They haven't got a father, so I guess I’m it too. 06:36.866 --> 06:39.799 Yeah, I get out. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 06:39.800 --> 06:42.300 I go bowling with the girls from the office. 06:42.300 --> 06:45.433 Rosie downstairs looks after the kids. 06:45.433 --> 06:51.233 Yeah, we usually go out for a drink or three after. 06:51.233 --> 06:52.333 The kids? 06:52.333 --> 06:54.999 Well, my husband… my ex-husband… 06:55.000 --> 06:57.000 has them one weekend a month, 06:57.000 --> 06:59.600 and they go to my mother about once a month. 06:59.600 --> 07:04.033 The only time I ever get that's really my own. 07:04.033 --> 07:07.033 I buy a couple of bottles of rye or a case of beer. 07:07.033 --> 07:10.799 I go home. I order a pizza. Turn on the television, 07:10.800 --> 07:13.900 and for the rest of the weekend, at least until the kids get home, 07:13.900 --> 07:15.566 I relax. 07:15.566 --> 07:17.732 No, Rosie joins me sometimes. 07:17.733 --> 07:23.166 Most of time, I'm on my own, and that's fine. 07:23.166 --> 07:28.232 Problem with alcohol? Sure. I've got a problem with alcohol. 07:28.233 --> 07:31.099 It's the nicest problem I've got. 07:31.100 --> 07:34.833 I mean, it's not hurting Billy and Jan, so it's not a problem. 07:34.833 --> 07:37.366 [TV announcer:] Popeil's Pocket Fisherman. There's only one! 07:37.366 --> 07:39.766 Millions sold at $19.95! 07:39.766 --> 07:43.266 [Knocking at door] 07:43.266 --> 07:51.066 [Footsteps] [Floor creaking] 07:51.066 --> 07:54.466 [Mrs. Hall:] Hello, dear! [Mrs. Hall's daughter:] Hi mom. 07:54.466 --> 07:57.132 Mom, I told you we’d be here at noon, see? 07:57.133 --> 08:01.166 You’re not even ready. And look at you, you’re so thin! 08:01.166 --> 08:05.666 [Mrs. Hall:] Sorry, dear, I’m… I'm so forgetful. I’ll go get ready right now. 08:05.666 --> 08:07.999 [Mrs. Hall's daughter:] Okay, well, I'll tidy up down here. 08:08.000 --> 08:11.133 [Mrs. Hall stumbles on stairs] 08:11.133 --> 08:13.233 You okay? Can I help you? 08:13.233 --> 08:17.733 [Mrs. Hall:] I'm all right, dear. Will my grey dress be all right? 08:17.733 --> 08:20.099 [Mrs. Hall's daughter:] Yes, that'll be just fine. 08:20.100 --> 08:22.700 Look, you've got to take better care of yourself. 08:22.700 --> 08:27.200 [...] 08:27.200 --> 08:31.700 Mother, you simply mustn't forget your appointments with Dr. Jamison. 08:31.700 --> 08:33.966 You know, you should really keep a note of that. 08:33.966 --> 08:36.032 That's why we gave you your calendar. 08:36.033 --> 08:39.199 You're wonderful, just wonderful about birthdays. 08:39.200 --> 08:43.900 But when it comes to Dr. Jamison, you're hopeless. 08:43.900 --> 08:46.066 Tomorrow, we’ll go out and get you some groceries. 08:46.066 --> 08:48.166 Some food and some sherry. 08:48.166 --> 08:51.932 But, mother, you really must look after yourself. 08:51.933 --> 08:54.366 You've got to try harder. 08:54.366 --> 08:55.366 [...] 08:55.366 --> 09:13.199 [Upbeat music] 09:13.200 --> 09:17.166 [Dawn Berenson:] Problems? No, probably fewer than most people. 09:17.166 --> 09:21.066 I love my job. I sometimes can't believe how lucky I am. 09:21.066 --> 09:25.866 I love the work, and I love travelling, and my job gives me both. Plus, a lot of people. 09:25.866 --> 09:29.899 Of course, there are times when I get fed up, but who doesn't? 09:29.900 --> 09:35.700 No, in general, I'd have to say things are rather good. 09:35.700 --> 09:40.700 Socially? Mmm… I’m busy. Sometimes, I think too busy. 09:40.700 --> 09:43.600 I have a lot of friends, or at least a lot of acquaintances 09:43.600 --> 09:45.200 and a few very good friends. 09:45.200 --> 09:47.266 And we seem to keep each other busy. 09:47.266 --> 09:49.899 [...] 09:49.900 --> 09:52.566 Yes, some of our parties get a bit wild, 09:52.566 --> 09:54.899 but we're all rather responsible most of the time, 09:54.900 --> 09:56.333 even rather serious. 09:56.333 --> 09:59.666 You know, rather over-endowed in terms of social conscience. 09:59.666 --> 10:01.066 Into politics. 10:01.066 --> 10:02.666 The Canadian identity. 10:02.666 --> 10:06.566 Canadian art and literature, that sort of thing? 10:06.566 --> 10:12.366 Drinking? Yes, we all do a lot. Professionally and socially. 10:12.366 --> 10:17.732 Well, let me think. Yes, probably just about every day when I actually get down to it. 10:17.733 --> 10:21.199 Lunch? Usually um… Mmm… 10:21.200 --> 10:25.600 no probably always a drink or two or a small carafe of wine. 10:25.600 --> 10:27.733 Maybe one or two when I get home. 10:27.733 --> 10:29.933 Sometimes with someone, sometimes alone. 10:29.933 --> 10:33.566 I've just gotten into that pattern, I guess. 10:33.566 --> 10:38.066 Evenings? Well, I go out more than I stay home. 10:38.066 --> 10:41.099 Dinner, parties, or the theater. 10:41.100 --> 10:44.233 Yes, I suppose I do, before dinner and then wine with. 10:44.233 --> 10:46.433 And quite often, liqueur. 10:46.433 --> 10:48.999 Drunk? You're kidding. 10:49.000 --> 10:51.766 Well, occasionally, I suppose, but not often, and never alone. 10:51.766 --> 10:53.332 I know what I can handle. 10:53.333 --> 10:57.033 No, I never even thought of trying to avoid it. It's part of my life. 10:57.033 --> 10:59.599 I mean, we all drink in my group. 10:59.600 --> 11:02.700 And I never really stop to think about how much. 11:02.700 --> 11:10.733 [Trumpet fanfare music] 11:10.733 --> 11:13.733 [Narrator:] The lives of these four women are very different. 11:13.733 --> 11:18.266 Annette, rather well placed on the social ladder and successful wife and mother. 11:18.266 --> 11:23.632 Joan, the single parent with two children, little money, and few people close to her. 11:23.633 --> 11:27.399 Mrs. Hall, the loved and loving grandmother. 11:27.400 --> 11:32.466 And Dawn. The professionally and socially successful woman. 11:32.466 --> 11:34.766 But they also have a few things in common. 11:34.766 --> 11:37.532 Not only the fact that they drink too much. 11:37.533 --> 11:39.933 [Music continues] 11:39.933 --> 11:43.466 First, and perhaps most important, they share the fact they are women. 11:43.466 --> 11:46.532 With each other, and with us. 11:46.533 --> 11:49.066 As women, we learned we’d grow up, 11:49.066 --> 11:51.966 probably get married and have babies. 11:51.966 --> 11:54.232 Most of us have. 11:54.233 --> 11:59.166 Most of us were also told that there were ways for a lady to drink. 11:59.166 --> 12:02.332 To go beyond a glass of sherry was unladylike. 12:02.333 --> 12:05.866 [Male voice 1:] Woman drunks? They're disgusting [Male voice 2:]. Pathetic. 12:05.866 --> 12:07.866 There's nothing worse. 12:07.866 --> 12:12.532 [Narrator:] Men are not alone in thinking this way about women who drink too much. 12:12.533 --> 12:17.699 [Female voice:] I think they're disgrace to their sex. I just can't stand to see a woman drunk. 12:17.700 --> 12:26.733 [Music] 12:26.733 --> 12:29.633 [Joseph Hirsch:] "Women represent important social and moral symbols 12:29.633 --> 12:35.433 that are the bedrock of society. And when angels fall, they fall disturbingly far. 12:35.433 --> 12:37.133 We would rather have them in their place, 12:37.133 --> 12:38.933 which is another way of saying 12:38.933 --> 12:41.266 that they define and make our own place possible 12:41.266 --> 12:43.199 and even more comfortable." 12:43.200 --> 12:48.066 [Music] 12:48.066 --> 12:52.166 [Narrator:] A drunken woman can be something much more than disgusting. 12:52.166 --> 12:55.166 By her very existence, she may also somehow suggest 12:55.166 --> 12:58.566 her protectors have done a bad job. 12:58.566 --> 13:02.366 No more than we want to admit we may have a problem with alcohol 13:02.366 --> 13:07.766 do our boyfriends, husbands, fathers, brothers, doctors want to admit it. 13:07.766 --> 13:10.699 For instance, a husband who admits his wife is an alcoholic 13:10.700 --> 13:14.333 may feel he is admitting he has failed as a protector. 13:14.333 --> 13:16.466 Because women married to alcoholic men 13:16.466 --> 13:18.566 have so often been portrayed as 13:18.566 --> 13:21.799 Domineering Dorothys, Castrating Catherines. 13:21.800 --> 13:24.366 Women who somehow caused their husbands drinking 13:24.366 --> 13:28.399 or at least perhaps have a stake in keeping them drinking. 13:28.400 --> 13:44.266 [Music] 13:44.266 --> 13:46.132 Then there are doctors. 13:46.133 --> 13:48.699 Because they are in the vast majority men, 13:48.700 --> 13:51.266 they think like most other men. 13:51.266 --> 13:53.132 They are the protectors. 13:53.133 --> 13:57.833 They are also busy, sometimes impatient, and maybe embarrassed, 13:57.833 --> 14:01.133 even shocked by alcoholism in women. 14:01.133 --> 14:05.699 Most often, they find it quicker, easier, and more comfortable 14:05.700 --> 14:09.033 to deal with women by prescribing tranquilizers. 14:09.033 --> 14:12.699 [Doctor:] Annette Vaughn? Yes, she and Robert take a drink now and then, 14:12.700 --> 14:16.800 but… well, she certainly never mentioned having any problem like that to me, 14:16.800 --> 14:19.200 and I'm her doctor. 14:19.200 --> 14:21.666 Asked her? No, I haven't actually asked her, 14:21.666 --> 14:25.632 but I don't think she has a drinking problem. 14:25.633 --> 14:26.599 [...] 14:26.600 --> 14:29.633 [Mrs. Hall's daughter:] I know he was good to you when dad died, mom. 14:29.633 --> 14:32.166 But I really wonder if he should keep giving you so many pills. 14:32.166 --> 14:39.932 You take what? Sleeping pills? Tranquilizers? 14:39.933 --> 14:42.899 I… Well, I hate to say it, 14:42.900 --> 14:46.600 but I wonder if you haven't been drinking a lot of your sherry lately. 14:46.600 --> 14:50.766 And I can't help wondering if that isn't well, you know, good for you. 14:50.766 --> 14:54.066 [Clock ticking] 14:54.066 --> 15:11.432 [Alarm clock ringing] 15:11.433 --> 15:14.733 [Dawn Berenson:] It's strictly social. No, I simply have never thought about it. 15:14.733 --> 15:17.699 It's just strictly social. 15:17.700 --> 15:20.833 That sort of amazes me because I really tend to look after myself. 15:20.833 --> 15:27.033 You know. I'm used to taking care of myself, and I just really never thought. 15:27.033 --> 15:30.233 It's really very interesting, sort of surprising. 15:30.233 --> 15:33.799 I'm just wondering if maybe I should worry. 15:33.800 --> 15:37.900 [Clock ticking] 15:37.900 --> 15:50.233 [Rotary phone dialing] 15:50.233 --> 15:55.433 [Dawn discovers a man's necktie in her bedroom] 15:55.433 --> 16:01.566 Hello, Mary? Dawn Berenson. Can I come and see you sometime this week? 16:01.566 --> 16:03.566 I think I have something I want to talk to you about. 16:03.566 --> 16:04.299 [...] 16:04.300 --> 16:05.133 [Music] 16:05.133 --> 16:07.133 [A Production of The Addiction Research Foundation of Ontario] 16:07.133 --> 16:09.299 [With special thanks to Madelanie Coates, Reta Currie, Anne Johnston] 16:09.300 --> 16:11.500 [Bernice McGowan, Barbara Rutledge, and other A.R.F staff] 16:11.500 --> 16:13.300 [Cinematography and editing by, Video Productions, A.R.F.] 16:13.300 --> 16:15.433 [Written and directed by Anne MacLennan] 16:15.433 --> 16:19.666 [When We Fall quotation from, Joseph Hirsch, WOMEN and ALCOHOLISM] 16:19.666 --> 16:22.032 [...]