WEBVTT 00:00:04.433 --> 00:00:10.399 [THE MENTAL HEALTH FILM BOARD SERIES: EMOTIONS OF EVERY-DAY LIVING] 00:00:10.400 --> 00:00:19.000 [NUMBER 1: THE STEPS OF AGE, Produced by Film Documents, Copyright 1950 M.H.F.B., Inc.] 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:21.666 [Presented by THE DEPARTMENT OF MENTAL HEALTH, STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA] 00:00:21.666 --> 00:00:29.432 [CLEVE C. ODOM, M.D. State Mental Health Authority] 00:00:29.433 --> 00:00:34.399 [The Mental Health Film Board: K. APPEL, M.D., M.R. KAUFMAN, M.D., L.H. BARTEMEIR, M.D.] 00:00:34.400 --> 00:00:38.500 [T.A.C. RENNIE, M.D., L. BAUMGARTNER, M.D., H.P. ROME, M.D., C. BINGER, M.D.] 00:00:38.500 --> 00:00:42.966 [L. SAUL, M.D. J.M. BOBBITT, Ph.D., A. ALTMAN, Exec. Sec.] 00:00:42.966 --> 00:00:48.366 [Sponsored by THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR MENTAL HEALTH, INC.] 00:00:48.366 --> 00:00:52.066 [Cast Mrs. Potter...ROSE SPENCER, Mr. Potter...HARVARD SYLVIA] 00:00:52.066 --> 00:00:56.166 [Their daughter...EMMA AGEE, Her husband...MANNY KIRSCHNER] 00:00:56.166 --> 00:00:59.766 [The granddaughter DIMITRA SUNDEEN] 00:00:59.766 --> 00:01:03.299 [The child on the stairs GRETCHEN MOHEGAN, Saleslady...GEORGIA TOLLIVER] 00:01:03.300 --> 00:01:07.100 [Photographed by GEORGE JACOBSON, Assistant Cameraman MAX GLENN] 00:01:07.100 --> 00:01:10.400 [Electrician JOSEPH COFFEY, Sound Recording LAWRENCE MEZEY, Unit Manager ROBERT GURNEY] 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:12.566 [Production Assistance WILLIAM LEVITT, JANICE LOEB] 00:01:12.566 --> 00:01:21.566 [Edited under the supervision of SIDNEY MEYERS, Psychiatric Consultant M. RALPH KAUFMAN, M.D.] 00:01:21.566 --> 00:01:29.566 [Produced by HELEN LEVITT, Written and Directed by BEN MADDOW] 00:01:29.566 --> 00:01:40.999 [Music] 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:46.900 [Little girl:] Catch the ball! 00:01:46.900 --> 00:02:00.566 Catch the ball somebody! 00:02:00.566 --> 00:02:04.066 [Mrs. Potter:] I've been away since morning, walking and thinking. 00:02:04.066 --> 00:02:08.399 [?] an old woman. 00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:21.000 [The little girl waits for the old woman to bring the ball up the steps.] 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:26.800 [Mrs. Potter:] I had cheeks like flowers, I could run all day long and never get tired. 00:02:26.800 --> 00:02:36.633 I wore gingham dresses and I could skate like a boy. 00:02:36.633 --> 00:02:43.233 Because the weeks went by so fast, and so many Sundays and Christmases 00:02:43.233 --> 00:02:48.866 and Fourth of Julys, and suddenly so many years are gone. 00:02:48.866 --> 00:02:51.132 Finished so quickly. 00:02:51.133 --> 00:02:55.466 And you wake up after a fight with your [?] and do something foolish. 00:02:55.466 --> 00:03:01.299 And there you are, mad and angry, and foolish. 00:03:01.300 --> 00:03:10.600 And face to face with all the mistakes you ever made in all your whole long life. 00:03:10.600 --> 00:03:12.866 Where do you learn to live? 00:03:12.866 --> 00:03:15.032 How do you end what's ended? 00:03:15.033 --> 00:03:20.899 But forever and ever. 00:03:20.900 --> 00:03:27.433 How do you leave the house where you were married? 00:03:27.433 --> 00:03:32.233 [Music] 00:03:32.233 --> 00:03:34.799 My husband Jimmy. 00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:37.833 We buried him a year ago in May. 00:03:37.833 --> 00:03:42.733 But he had died a long time before that. 00:03:42.733 --> 00:03:47.633 And maybe it was some of my fault. 00:03:47.633 --> 00:03:52.866 [Music] 00:03:52.866 --> 00:03:58.832 Three years since he was retired, a crane man in the ironworks over there. 00:03:58.833 --> 00:04:06.399 And all he did for three years was sit in that chair and beat himself at checkers. 00:04:06.400 --> 00:04:10.666 If only he'd taken a job, any job. 00:04:10.666 --> 00:04:14.399 But no, he wouldn't do anything. 00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:17.500 The radio broke and he let it go. 00:04:17.500 --> 00:04:24.800 He stopped reading the papers, and then he even stopped seeing the children. 00:04:24.800 --> 00:04:31.566 It got so I hated to see his face, home all day long, sitting in that window all day long. 00:04:31.566 --> 00:04:34.166 If only I could move him out of that chair. 00:04:34.166 --> 00:04:41.266 Put a firecracker under it or something. 00:04:41.266 --> 00:04:45.032 Retired at 65, enjoying life. 00:04:45.033 --> 00:04:50.166 Having a fine time doing nothing, nothing. 00:04:50.166 --> 00:04:55.099 Oh, he knew it was coming, but he never got ready for it. 00:04:55.100 --> 00:04:58.933 Because he would never really believe it. 00:04:58.933 --> 00:05:10.466 [The old woman beats a rug with the broom to knock dust out of it.] 00:05:10.466 --> 00:05:13.332 [Granddaughter:] Grandma! 00:05:13.333 --> 00:05:15.699 [Mrs. Potter:] Hello darling. [Granddaughter:] Hello. 00:05:15.700 --> 00:05:18.500 [Mrs. Potter:] How are you? [Granddaughter:] Fine. 00:05:18.500 --> 00:05:20.133 [Emma:] Hello mother. 00:05:20.133 --> 00:05:21.766 [Mrs. Potter:] How are you, Emma?[Emma:] Fine. 00:05:21.766 --> 00:05:23.766 Isn't this wonderful after that heat. 00:05:23.766 --> 00:05:27.199 I haven't even got my blankets put away yet, let alone rug. 00:05:27.200 --> 00:05:30.833 [Mrs. Potter:] Well I'm doing a little bit each day, I can't do very much, 00:05:30.833 --> 00:05:32.999 but I can do just a little at a time. 00:05:33.000 --> 00:05:35.466 [Emma:] Oh you do wonderful, you've always been a good housekeeper. 00:05:35.466 --> 00:05:37.166 How's dad today? 00:05:37.166 --> 00:05:39.999 [Mrs. Potter:] He just sits up there, I can't get him down. 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:43.333 [Emma:] He playing checkers? [Mrs. Potter:] Playing checkers as usual. 00:05:43.333 --> 00:05:45.566 [Emma:] That's just about all he cares about, isn't it? 00:05:45.566 --> 00:05:46.266 [Granddaughter:] Look grandma... [Mrs. Potter:] Yes. 00:05:46.266 --> 00:05:50.566 [Granddaughter:] I found a bug. [Mrs. Potter:] What, in my yard? 00:05:50.566 --> 00:05:55.166 [Emma:] She likes anything that's little. Bugs and all. 00:05:55.166 --> 00:05:56.666 [Mrs. Potter:] How are you, today? 00:05:56.666 --> 00:06:00.132 [Emma:] Well, I really came to tell you, I stopped to see the doctor on my way over. 00:06:00.133 --> 00:06:03.199 [Mrs. Potter:] You did? What did he say? 00:06:03.200 --> 00:06:06.333 [Emma:] The best news I've had. I'm going to have another baby, mother. 00:06:06.333 --> 00:06:09.033 [Mrs. Potter:] Oh, I'm so glad, it's about time. 00:06:09.033 --> 00:06:11.533 [Emma:] I think so too. 00:06:11.533 --> 00:06:14.099 I haven't even phoned Jack yet, just came straight here. 00:06:14.100 --> 00:06:14.966 [Granddaughter:] Me too. 00:06:14.966 --> 00:06:19.066 [Emma:] Oh sweetie, you're still my baby too. 00:06:19.066 --> 00:06:20.332 You know that don't ya? 00:06:20.333 --> 00:06:23.899 And now we'll have a real baby in the house for you to be a mother to. 00:06:23.900 --> 00:06:25.266 She's a wonderful mother. 00:06:25.266 --> 00:06:39.899 [Mrs. Potter:] I know she is. 00:06:39.900 --> 00:07:09.466 [Music] 00:07:09.466 --> 00:07:15.432 [Mrs. Potter:] Jimmy. 00:07:15.433 --> 00:07:20.799 Emma is going to have a baby. 00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:32.866 [Music] 00:07:32.866 --> 00:07:36.966 Three years, three years ago. 00:07:36.966 --> 00:07:40.899 The day he really died. 00:07:40.900 --> 00:08:00.633 The day he went back and closed himself up in the crane. 00:08:00.633 --> 00:08:02.333 [Factory worker 1:] I'd like to know how he got up there. 00:08:02.333 --> 00:08:13.133 [Factory worker 2:] I'm not wondering how he got up there. 00:08:13.133 --> 00:08:16.066 [Mrs. Potter:] I'll get him down. 00:08:16.066 --> 00:08:18.632 [Factory worker 2:] How? He's been up there two hours. 00:08:18.633 --> 00:08:21.166 [Mrs. Potter:] I'll get him down. 00:08:21.166 --> 00:08:24.099 [Factor worker 1:] Promise him a job, promise him anything. 00:08:24.100 --> 00:08:36.666 [Factory worker 2:] I'm not going to stand here and tell him any lies. 00:08:36.666 --> 00:08:43.966 [Mrs. Potter:] Jimmy, I want you to come down. 00:08:43.966 --> 00:08:49.199 Don't be silly, Jimmy. 00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:53.400 Jimmy, don't be an old fool. 00:08:53.400 --> 00:09:04.033 They can't do any work with you up there. 00:09:04.033 --> 00:09:14.299 Jimmy, I haven't had any breakfast yet, and I'm not going to leave until you come down. 00:09:14.300 --> 00:09:19.733 Jimmy! You're just doing this to spite me. 00:09:19.733 --> 00:09:21.933 Jimmy, come down! 00:09:21.933 --> 00:09:30.099 Come down! 00:09:30.100 --> 00:10:02.100 [Mr. Potter moves the crane while everyone in the factory watches.] 00:10:02.100 --> 00:10:28.333 [He gets out of the crane and heads out of the factory with his wife.] 00:10:28.333 --> 00:10:57.566 [Sounds of machinery cranking.] 00:10:57.566 --> 00:10:59.399 [Mrs. Potter:] What could I have done? 00:10:59.400 --> 00:11:01.766 Was it my fault? 00:11:01.766 --> 00:11:04.366 Could I have in any way helped him? 00:11:04.366 --> 00:11:06.899 Given him a reason to live? 00:11:06.900 --> 00:11:13.633 Encouraged him to look beyond his job so he wasn't finished when the job was finished? 00:11:13.633 --> 00:11:19.666 Showed him some sure proof that I loved him and thought him to be a man, 00:11:19.666 --> 00:11:21.966 with or without his job. 00:11:21.966 --> 00:11:28.832 Is there anything I could have done? 00:11:28.833 --> 00:12:05.866 [The Potters walk across a bridge and Mr. Potter pauses to angrily toss his tools into the river.] 00:12:05.866 --> 00:12:27.399 [Music] 00:12:27.400 --> 00:12:31.333 [Mrs. Potter:] How was it possible to save him? 00:12:31.333 --> 00:12:36.899 Where do you learn to live when the whole world is shaking and changing around you? 00:12:36.900 --> 00:12:40.766 And nothing is the way it was. 00:12:40.766 --> 00:12:48.299 Where do you learn to be old? 00:12:48.300 --> 00:12:50.800 Maybe you start with this. 00:12:50.800 --> 00:12:53.366 That you're alive. 00:12:53.366 --> 00:12:59.499 And every voice and every face and every second is precious. 00:12:59.500 --> 00:13:09.566 And nothing like it will ever happen again. 00:13:09.566 --> 00:13:11.432 I wanted to keep on living. 00:13:11.433 --> 00:13:13.866 I wanted more and more. 00:13:13.866 --> 00:13:17.432 And then Jimmy died and I had nothing. 00:13:17.433 --> 00:13:22.999 Emma had her baby, so I said yes, I'd move in with them. 00:13:23.000 --> 00:13:27.566 So they gave me a room in the house and I thought, now I'm settled. 00:13:27.566 --> 00:13:29.799 This is what I must do. 00:13:29.800 --> 00:13:36.800 Raise up my grandson and live in my daughter's family. 00:13:36.800 --> 00:13:54.766 [The door bell is ringing while muffled chatter is heard in the room where a party is in progress.] 00:13:54.766 --> 00:13:57.132 [Emma:] What's this one supposed to be? 00:13:57.133 --> 00:14:02.333 [Masked man:] You like it, you like it? 00:14:02.333 --> 00:14:14.433 [Emma:] Sure I like it, go on in and get yourself some...Marie Antoinette. 00:14:14.433 --> 00:14:27.499 [The baby cries while the party is going on downstairs.] 00:14:27.500 --> 00:14:40.166 [Piano party music is being played.] 00:14:40.166 --> 00:14:41.299 [Emma:] Honey, how you feeling? 00:14:41.300 --> 00:14:44.033 [Jack:] Oh, I feel wonderful honey, how do you feel? 00:14:44.033 --> 00:14:49.499 Shoot, is that the baby? 00:14:49.500 --> 00:15:02.433 [Baby crying] 00:15:02.433 --> 00:15:06.366 [Masked man:] Okay everybody, I'm going to take your picture. Smile. 00:15:06.366 --> 00:15:12.866 [Parytgoers laugh and clap.] 00:15:12.866 --> 00:15:16.266 [Mrs. Potter:] Don't cry. 00:15:16.266 --> 00:15:18.199 [Granddaughter:] Grandma. 00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:20.100 [Mrs. Potter:] Go to sleep, dear. 00:15:20.100 --> 00:15:22.033 [Granddaughter:] I woke up. 00:15:22.033 --> 00:15:31.499 [Mrs. Potter:] I know you did, but go to sleep. 00:15:31.500 --> 00:15:49.400 Hush, hush. 00:15:49.400 --> 00:15:52.800 [Emma:] I can take care of him, mother. 00:15:52.800 --> 00:15:55.533 Why don't you go on back to bed, huh? 00:15:55.533 --> 00:15:59.066 [Mrs. Potter:] He's been very wakeful. 00:15:59.066 --> 00:16:00.632 I think he's hungry. 00:16:00.633 --> 00:16:04.766 [Emma:] Well, I know he's hungry, I'm going to feed him. 00:16:04.766 --> 00:16:08.732 How's my boy, huh? 00:16:08.733 --> 00:16:10.733 [Mrs. Potter:] He's not getting enough to eat. 00:16:10.733 --> 00:16:18.433 You know he's a boy, and boys require more food than girls. 00:16:18.433 --> 00:16:20.566 Aren't you drinking too much? 00:16:20.566 --> 00:16:24.832 [Emma:] I drank hardly at all, I'm being very careful about it. 00:16:24.833 --> 00:16:31.533 [Mrs. Potter:] You know it gets in their milk. 00:16:31.533 --> 00:16:34.366 I think you should ween him. 00:16:34.366 --> 00:16:35.832 Put him on the bottle. 00:16:35.833 --> 00:16:37.999 [Emma:] Everybody's satisfied around here except you. 00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:41.166 The doctor is satisfied, the baby is satisfied, I'm satisfied. 00:16:41.166 --> 00:16:42.832 That's what you'd like to be yourself. 00:16:42.833 --> 00:16:44.433 [Mrs. Potter:] He's not satisfied. 00:16:44.433 --> 00:16:51.299 [Emma:] Please close the door, mother. 00:16:51.300 --> 00:16:57.166 [Jack:] Have a drink, grandma.[Mrs. Potter:] I'm not your grandma. 00:16:57.166 --> 00:16:59.099 [Jack:] Well, what happened this time? 00:16:59.100 --> 00:17:03.233 [Emma:] Oh nothing. Everything. 00:17:03.233 --> 00:17:05.533 I lost my temper. I s'pose I shouldn't have. 00:17:05.533 --> 00:17:06.599 I can't help it. 00:17:06.600 --> 00:17:10.566 This time she thought I was starving the baby, isn't that nice. 00:17:10.566 --> 00:17:13.232 [Jack:] I wish we could get her out of here, perhaps she could take a room somewhere. 00:17:13.233 --> 00:17:14.699 [Emma:] No. 00:17:14.700 --> 00:17:15.900 [Jack:] Why not? 00:17:15.900 --> 00:17:17.266 [Emma:] Because we just couldn't do that. 00:17:17.266 --> 00:17:19.999 That's why. 00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:22.300 [Jack:] Mother and Dad have been living by themselves for years, 00:17:22.300 --> 00:17:24.100 and they're a lot older than she is. 00:17:24.100 --> 00:17:26.700 I mean, considering everything they get along swell. 00:17:26.700 --> 00:17:29.666 [Emma:] I know they get along, but they have each other. 00:17:29.666 --> 00:17:33.732 Besides, your father has his little workshop and your mother putters around her garden, 00:17:33.733 --> 00:17:40.066 plays bridge with her friends. 00:17:40.066 --> 00:17:40.966 If I could just reason with her... 00:17:40.966 --> 00:17:44.799 [Jack:] You know what the real trouble is, she feels that she's not wanted here, that's all. 00:17:44.800 --> 00:17:48.400 [Emma:] I know she does and I'm so sorry. We need her help and she gives it to us. 00:17:48.400 --> 00:18:00.066 But why can't she give it to us without eating us up alive? 00:18:00.066 --> 00:18:23.932 [Voices and music heard from downstairs.] 00:18:23.933 --> 00:18:51.933 [Mrs. Potter gets out of bed and begins vacuuming.] 00:18:51.933 --> 00:19:29.599 [Music] 00:19:29.600 --> 00:19:31.666 [Clerk:] Good morning. [Mrs. Potter:] Good morning. 00:19:31.666 --> 00:19:34.299 [Clerk:] Beautiful stockings, aren't they? 00:19:34.300 --> 00:19:36.066 Lovely shade too, don't you think? 00:19:36.066 --> 00:19:37.399 [Mrs. Potter:] Yes, they're lovely. 00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:39.266 [Clerk:] Nice and sheer. 00:19:39.266 --> 00:19:43.632 This is your lucky day all right, I'm putting up...Like the shade? 00:19:43.633 --> 00:19:48.666 I see you're wearing dark blue, perhaps you'd like a darker shade. 00:19:48.666 --> 00:19:50.966 What size do you wear? 00:19:50.966 --> 00:19:53.999 [Mrs. Potter:] I don't think I'm interested in hose today. 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:55.400 [Clerk:] How about a nice slip? 00:19:55.400 --> 00:19:57.833 [Mrs. Potter:] No thank you. 00:19:57.833 --> 00:20:00.133 You have a sign in the window. 00:20:00.133 --> 00:20:05.766 You're advertising for a salesperson, I thought maybe I could get the job. 00:20:05.766 --> 00:20:10.866 [Clerk:] No, sorry. 00:20:10.866 --> 00:20:24.932 [Mrs. Potter:] That's quite all right. 00:20:24.933 --> 00:20:26.699 [Clerk:] For you. 00:20:26.700 --> 00:20:28.133 [Mrs. Potter:] Thank you. 00:20:28.133 --> 00:20:38.366 [Clerk:] I'm sorry. 00:20:38.366 --> 00:20:49.499 [Mrs. Potter:] I could've filled that job. 00:20:49.500 --> 00:20:52.566 But what would that prove to them or to me? 00:20:52.566 --> 00:20:55.599 That I was strong and useful? 00:20:55.600 --> 00:20:58.466 That I didn't need them? 00:20:58.466 --> 00:21:08.866 Or just that I was angry and hurt and hadn't yet learned how to live with my children. 00:21:08.866 --> 00:21:11.999 How shall I go back to my family? 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:14.733 What shall I say? 00:21:14.733 --> 00:21:18.333 How can I love them without hurting them? 00:21:18.333 --> 00:21:20.866 Because I need to. 00:21:20.866 --> 00:21:28.566 Because growing old is so much easier if someone loves and understands you. 00:21:28.566 --> 00:21:32.832 [Granddaughter:] Bye-bye! 00:21:32.833 --> 00:21:37.466 [Mrs. Potter:] Goodbye! 00:21:37.466 --> 00:21:42.499 [Granddaughter:] Bye-bye! 00:21:42.500 --> 00:21:47.566 Hello! 00:21:47.566 --> 00:21:52.866 Goodbye! 00:21:52.866 --> 00:21:58.399 [Mrs. Potter:] Late afternoon, I came home. 00:21:58.400 --> 00:22:04.900 The house where you live can be a prison, or a place of love. 00:22:04.900 --> 00:22:11.466 The room where you sleep can be a closet full of tears or a quiet bed and a window 00:22:11.466 --> 00:22:13.599 full of real voices. 00:22:13.600 --> 00:22:18.000 [Granddaughter:] Hey, grandma's got a new hat. 00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:20.033 [Mrs. Potter:] Which can I have? 00:22:20.033 --> 00:22:22.799 Which do I deserve? 00:22:22.800 --> 00:22:25.300 Some of it depends on me. 00:22:25.300 --> 00:22:30.433 But some of it must depend on other people. 00:22:30.433 --> 00:22:34.299 [Emma:] Mother, I'm so glad you're back. 00:22:34.300 --> 00:22:37.933 I'm trying out with this recipe and I can't tell how it's coming out. 00:22:37.933 --> 00:22:45.033 I've looked at it about five times and it doesn't look right to me. 00:22:45.033 --> 00:22:48.933 Will you look at it for me? 00:22:48.933 --> 00:23:02.533 [Mrs. Potter:] Yes, I'll be right in. 00:23:02.533 --> 00:23:05.899 [THE END] 00:23:05.900 --> 00:23:08.033 [This film has been approved by NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH] 00:23:08.033 --> 00:23:22.666 [PUBLIC HEALTH SERVICE, FEDERAL SECURITY AGENCY]