^.VOlJ" LIS* LIBRARY OF MEDICINE NATIONAL LIBRARY OF MEDICINE NATIONAL 1 dO I1V11I1 IVNOIIVN 3NIDIQ3W dO A»V»B IT IVNOIIVN 3 N I } I 0 3 W ir \ ^%-.a—' . - / Mo it % ^V«—-' \ 3 C A5? FT I *, 1 ss/ 1 ,\A. 1 My 1 v^i .IBRARY OF MEDICINE NATIONAL LIBRARY OF MEDICINE NATIONAL LIBRI IO UVH8I1 IVNOIIVN 3NI3IQ3W dO A H V II a I 1 IVNOIIVN 3NI3IQ3W dO Al ^ ." f IBRARY OF MEDICINE NATIONAL LIBRARY OF MEDICINE NATIONAL LIBRJ IBRARY OF MEDICINE NATIONAL LIBRARY OF MEDICINE NATIONAL LI >ll«»d "■IPMP IIDinp] 'i|l|03H jojuauiuodsa-sn D a uotau ,H. oM oi|«joc, HniiH ^1 \K?^t> Health, Educatioi and Welfare, Public < Health Service » Washington, D. C. < 3>|AJ>S SH»»H >IM»d'»'»»l»MP',» -uo|»o>npl H'I°SH (a )usiuliodaa Sfl Health, Education, > and Welfare,Public " Health Service > Wathington, D. C. |Ai»s 1H"H >II1N'«'»|I«»P A ^ = ^C MARRIAGE: HISTORY AND CEREMONIES; WITH A PHRENOLOGICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL EXPOSITION. OF THE FUNCTIONS AND QUALIFICATIONS FOR HAPPY MARRIAGES. BY L. N. FOWLER. NINETEENTH EDITION. I '■/(/*, " EH YE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED TOGETHER." N E W - Y 0 R R: FOWLERS & WELLS, PHRENOLOGICAL CABINET, 131 NASSAU STREET, AND BY BOOKSELLERS GENERALLY. 184-8. HQ P|"35"m Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year of our Lord 1846, By FOWLERS & WELLS. in the Clerk's Office of the U.S. District Court of the Southern District of New-York. CONTENTS. Marriage a Divine Institution, . Marriage of Adam and Eve, . Adam and Eve eat the Forbidden Fruit,..... Lamech first case of Polygamy, . Grecian Marriages, . Helen and Paris..... Hector and his Wife, . Temples of Venus, Ancient Licentiousness compared with the Present, . Abandoned Characters in Public Life,....... Grecian Licentiousness, Ancient Persia, . Females in Syria* and Western Page 7 Assyrian Girls sold at Auction, . 24 Laws of Moses to the Israelites, 25 Ancient Jews, .... 27 Ancient Roman Customs, . . 28 Marriage Relations of Barbarous Nations, . . . . 31 Condition of Women in China, . 32 Customs in Chinese Empire, . 33 Plurality of Wives, ... 35 Condition of Women in Burman Empire, .... 36 Religion and Marriage of the Hin- doos, ......36 Deplorable Condition of the Bu- chanans, .... 37 Women have a Plurality of Hus- bands, .....37 The Barbarism of the Abyssin- ians and Barbary, ... 33 The Harem,.....39 Customs in Caffraria, . . 40 The Kingdom of Dahomy, . . 41 African Nations and Customs, . . 42 Ceremonies of the Bochuanas, European Customs respecting Mar- riage, ..... South American Customs, . The Native Brazilians, North American Customs, Indian Ceremonies, . Biudjoos Ceremonies, . Mahomedan Ceremonies, . Ceylon and its Social Degradation Madagascar Ceremonies, Jappan Ceremonies, . Christian Bible, . Duty of Parents, Novels and their influences, . Religion of Christ as affecting Wo man,..... Man the subject pf God's designs, Page 43 46 47' 49 50 53 55 57 58 59 60 63 65 67 68 71 Phrenology and Physiology defined, 72 Symbolical head, . Social organs, .... Amativeness, Small Amativeness, . . Amativeness—its Perversion, . Case of jealousy from disease, . QuotationsofGa.il, Philoprogenitiveness, . Adhesiveness, Union for Life..... Inhabitiveness, Small Inhabitiveness, Social Faculties and their combi nations, .... Objects accomplished by Man s possessing a Social Nature, . Perfection of character, Increase of happiness, . Combination of Power, and con tinuance of the Human Race, \dvantages of being Married, . 73 74 75 79 81 . 86 87 88 98 108 109 113 114 115 116 118 119 120 iv. CONTENTS. Excuses for not Marrying, Qualifications for Married Life, . Good Mental and Physical organi- zation, . . • Domestic Disposition, . Self-Government, Industry and Good Habits, . Proper Education, . Perfect Love defined, . Perfect Love, how secured and re- tained...... Intellect should guide Love, For what many Marry, Ad vice to Parents and Teachers, . Suggestions to the Unmarried, . . Hereditary Influences, Mental Temperament,. Motive Temperament, Vital Temperament, . Power and influence of Intemper- ate habits, .... Influence of Fashion, . Reasons for being particular, . Influence of the Mother upon the Child,..... False Delicacy, and Public Senti- ment in Opposition to Human Improvements, Jacob more wise than men of our day,..... Page. 121 . 125 126 128 129 130 133 135 139 152 153 160 161 175 177 179 180 182 185 188 191 Page. Man the Agent of his Race, '. 195 Need of a great Social Reform, . 196 Cause of many Deaths in Families, 197 Evils in Domestic Life, . . 198 Differences between the Sexes, . 199 Anatomical and Physiological Di- visions of the Body, . . 200 Abdominal Region, . .200 Thoracic Region, ... 200 Cephalic Region, . . ,202 Description of the Male Head, . . 202 Character of Man, ... 202 Difference in the Developments of the Male and Female Head, . 202 Character of Women, . .203 Important Suggestions, . . 204 Very large Reasoning and small Perceptive Faculties should not go together, .... 205 Very small Moral and very large Selfish Organs should not be connected, .... 206 Very large Moral and very small Selfish should not be united in Marriage, .... 207 Character of Mrs. Gottfried, . . 209 Eccentricities Avoided, . . 212 Marriage and very Long Life, . 213 Progeny of Great Men, . . 2M Chances of Marriage, . . 216 PREFACE, I offer no apoiogy to my readers, for the publication of the following Dook, the subject of which is fully indicated by its title. It has been written with a full conviction of the importance of the following facts, namely : that the human race is composed of two sexes every way adapted to each other, with natural qualifica- tions and inclinations for matrimonial union, and the continuance of the species ; that there is no other way by which it can be perpetu- ated, than through the agency of the sexes; that the perfection of mind and body depend on established and fixed laws of reproduction ; that man has both the capacity to understand, **d the ability to obey these laws and principles ; that the happiness and misery, both of the parents and children, are necessarily affected by the obedience or disobedience of the laws of our social nature; that in all nations, and throughout all generations, since the days of our first parents, men have gratified their sexual and social inclinations comparatively regardless of these circumstances, or the laws which should have regulated and directed them; that health, happiness, and the per- fection of all our social enjoyments, depend, in a great degree, on our compliance with the true principles of reproduction ; that from all past systems of marriage and social arrangements, that degree of do- mestic happiness, and perfection of organization, has not been secured to the human race, equal to their privilege to possess, and their ca- pacity to enjoy; that the inference is plain, either that we are ig- norant of the laws of our social and reproductive systems, or, that we wilfully violate them. It is self-evident therefore, that knowledge should be diffused, and the moral nature of man brought to act in harmony with his social duties. vi PREFACE. To produce these desirable results, and either directly, or indi- rectly to aid in bringing about this great social reform so much needed, the author, guided by the elements of our nature, has written this work, in the hope that some information might be communicated and suggestions made worthy the attention of every reader. The first sixty-nine pages are devoted to the History of Marriage, and to a description of the various methods and customs which different nations and tribes, from the commencement of the world to the present time, have adopted to gratify their-sexual and social feelings. By an examination into this history, we shall perceive that marriage has generally been looked on in the light of passion regardless of love, offspring, and posterity, and that there has been very little improve- ment in man's social condition, having been, for the most part, led on by the blind impulse of his nature. For this important and interesting portion of the work, the author is indebted to C. Townsend. The main body of the work is devoted to an exposition of man's social nature, as explained and developed, by Phrenology and Physi- ology; to a description of the influence of the social feelings when combined with the other faculties of the mind; to the design of God and the objects accomplished through man's social nature ; to the so- cial duties and obligations of man; to the exposition of the know- ledge necessary to aid ms in selecting proper companions for life ; to the philosophy of true love, on what it depends, how secured and re- tained; to the evils which result from pursuing a narrow, selfish policy in choosing companions ; to a description of such individuals as are, and such as are not proper persons to be married ; to the true course' that should be pursued to secure that balance of mind and perfection of body so much desired by all parents; closing with an expla- nation of the important difference which actually exists between the male and female, both mentally and phyisically, and a few sugges- tions in relation to those qualities which should, and those which should not exist in husband and wife. The subjects here treated of, are of vital importance and full of interest to all classes of society ; and, The author regrets that constant and pressing professional duties have prevented him from devoting that time to their consideration which their importance demands, and his own wishes would have prompted. READ, THINK, JUDGE—THEN ACT. THE HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. Mohammed acted with unusual sagacity, and displayed no ordinary understanding of human nature, and adopted effectual means for the accomplishment of his cherished ob-1 ject, when, to secure converts to his new religion, he pro-1 mised that the eternal abode of the faithful should be made J joyful, and lighted up with the charms and smiles of Wo-' man! This was an appeal to one of the strongest passions of our nature, and proved effectual in securing the attention of the stronger sex ; and, in that age, this object achieved, secured the influence and commendation of the gentler and more refined half of our race. From the earliest time, and among all nations, whether shrouded in Pagan darkness or enjoying the pure and ele- vating influence of Christianity; as well those who treat the female sex like slaves and beasts of burden, as those who recognize her as entitled to an equal rank with man, com- panionship between the sexes has ever been found among the strongest desires of our race. It is not peculiar to either sex, but is cherished in common by both. That this is an ordinance of Heaven, none can deny who believe in the existence of a Supreme Moral Governor of the Universe, and a revelation of his will to man. And the origin of the institution of Matrimony might convince the skeptic of his error; for the only volume which gives an authentic early history of our race, declares in the outset, that in our creation, the distinction of sex was ordered as a contribution to our enjoyment, and that therefrom should follow perpetual companionship. "And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone : I will make him an help meet for him." And, after He had created woman, and given her to Adam to be his wife, Adam acknowledged the precious gift with the profoundest gratitude. He said s HISTOHY of marriage. of her, " this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; and the sacred historian adds, " Therefore shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife j and they shall be one flesh." But, how should this companionship, so essential to the happiness of mankind, be modified and regulated by the laws of the land 1 Or, should it be left without any regu lation % Very few indeed have embraced a theory so wild and dangerous as the latter: although even this sentiment has not been wholly destitute of its advocates. Those who nave embraced the doctrine of abolishing all restrictions upon this institution, or at least the leaders in that theory, have not been men destitute of an acquaintance with the history of the subject; but such as, in their imaginary phi- (losophy, have thought themselves able to improve upon the laws of nature and the ethics of the Sacred Writings. jThere have been those who were wise enough in their own eyes to amend those laws which He who moulded the hu- man mind, gave for its government; who have attempted to break down and totally demolish the sanctity of the mar- riage relation. But all such feeble attempts, where the elevating influence of the Bible has been enjoyed, have only resulted in the deep-rooted and general conviction,' that matrimony is an institution that grows out of the moral and physical relations which the sexes sustain to each other. Wherever God has been acknowledged and worshipped, the opinion has generally prevailed, that matrimony is an ' institution of divine origin; that it harmonizes with the constitution and philosophy of the human mind, and is, therefore, indispensable to the happiness and welfare of so- ciety. But, in regard to the relations and relative standing of the parties united in wedlock, there has been a great va- riety of opinion. Some have regarded the husband as vastly superior in authority to the wife; that he had a right to her highest and purest regard; that he had the right divine to monopolize all her attentions, while she had no right to claim the same undivided and unreserved surrender in re- turn. In those countries where this false estimate of the relative rights of the parties prevails, polygamy or a plural- ity of wives is the almost certain result. In almost all hea- then countries this has been allowed. Husbands have had several wives ; some females likewise have had seve- ral husbands; and again, in some countries, men have been allowed to have a lower ofder-of wives, called concu- ADAM AND EVE. 9 bines. In many countries, men have been allowed to di- vorce their wives at pleasure. Some have loved them as mere instruments of physical enjoyment; while others still have properly estimated their rights and virtues, and have honored them as " bone of their bones and flesh of their flesh;" and, in obedience to the injunctions of the Bible, have forsaken all other female society, and sought connu- bial felicity in that of the wife alone. But all have agreed in the necessity, with but few exceptions, in some form or other, of the institution of Matrimony. "What every body says must be true," is an old maxim. This will not in all cases hold ; but the sayings of the world, in general, bear the same relations to truth, that circum- stantial evidence does to proof. The fact, that all mankind believe in the existence of a Supreme Being, and that in no age of the world's history has any nation been found desti- tute of this belief, is regarded as plausible evidence that there is a God. With equal plausibility can we claim Matrimony to be a Divine institution ; for, all nations, for nearly six thousand years, have acknowledged its necessity. A few individuals have, indeed, as before observed, under- taken to speculate away the beneficent policy of this insti- tution. That it has existed ever since the creation of the first pair, none will deny who regard the testimony of history, sacred or profane. Go back to the bowers of ancient Eden. That was the spring-time of existence. The waving forest of green bowed itself as the spirit of the Most High passed over it. No gnarled and half decayed trees marred its beauty ; the grassy and flowery carpet was not littered with broken branches rent by the storm and the tempest; nor was it nourished by decaying, dying vegetable matter ; every tree, and shrub, and flower was perfect. A perfect Achi- tect had created all, and pronounced it good. Universal silence reigned; Nature, in its pristine freshness, stood in solitarv grandeur; but no human eye beholds its beauty, and no human soul swells with admiration of its charms! Suddenly, rises from the ground a human form ! He looks around__moves his limbs—he walks forth with all the dig- nity of earth's sole, earth's only king. He examines the scenery, and wanders from place to place—from flower to flower; he gazes in rapt astonishment upon all about him ; he views himself in the crystal stream, wondering whence he came what he was, and what his destiny ! He com- 1* 10 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. munes with his Maker, and receives by spiritual vision some faint outlines of the object of his existence. But all is si- lent ! none to answer his voice, or unite in his song of praise. All about him is language, speech, harmony, song! But it is only the voice of the serial songsters, the beasts of thj wood, and of inanimate nature—all beautiful beyond de- scription though it be, he feels himself in solitude, alone, in a strange and cheerless world. The rustling leaves— the rippling stream—the balmy breeze—soon cease to be delightful music in his ear; the waving forest and ver- dant fields no longer attract his eye. He sighs for a kin- dred spirit with whom to enjoy the rich scenes about him. He beholds in every, quarter swarms of new-created animals, with voices of gladness, bounding in wild and romantic glee over the plain. From tree to tree, among the verdant bow- ers, soar the feathered tribes, with countless voices of rap- turous praise ; and he stands the acknowledged lord of all. But this does not quiet his now troubled spirit. The ani- mate forms around can swell their voices, and he can hear the sound ; but there is none to talk with him. He sorrows and exclaims— ■-------------------" But with me I see not who partakes. In solitude What happiness ? Who can enjoy alone, Or, all enjoying, what contentment find ?" He utters his pathetic and touching soliloquy, and sinks into a dreamy sleep. Beings, after the similitudes of him- self, in visions pass before his mind ; beauty yet unseen charms his sleeping eye. The vision becomes more and more distinct; his heart beats with renewed life—he starts, he awakes—and, lo, it is all reality! Eve, an angelic beauty, sands before him! He finds in himself developed and called into action, new feelings, new powers, new joys. He exclaims in ecstasies of transcendent delight—" Hea- ven's last, best gift, my ever new delight!" His soul ex- pands under the influence of her heavenly smile; his en- raptured ear catches the sweet music of her voice ; he clasps her extended hand, and his heart swells and thrills with emotions of joy unutterable. Nor is Eve an unmoved spectator of his ecstasy. There is something in her young heart that yields a willing and hearty response to his new pleasures, she knows not why (andwho can tell \) but God has made her so. At first sight ADAM AND EVE EAT THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT. 11 they are all in all to each other, a perfect specimen of do- mestic bliss ! Pure from the hands of their Maker—with all the passions incident to our nature, but none of them abused—they knew no feelings that required concealment, no desires they might not gratify—no pleasures that brought misery in their train. All nature administered to their, and they to each other's happiness—the benevolent smile of the Most High rested upon them—perfect peace and love without alloy, swelled their grateful hearts—how could they desire a brighter paradise than this ! " To the nuptial bower He led her, blushing like the morn: all heaven, And happy constellations, on that hour Shed their selectest influence; the earth Gave sign of gratulation, and each hill; Joyous the birds ; freeh gales and gentle airs Whispered it to the woods, and from their wings Flung rose, flung odors from the spicy shrub, Disporting till the amorous bird of night Sung spousal, and bid haste the evening star On his hill top, to light the bridal lamp." But alas ! the bright prospect is dimmed—the beautiful picture is marred. Notwithstanding their advantages to re- sist temptation, they fell, all their posterity under circum- stances still less favorable, have followed in their footsteps. Unhappy Eve ! Oft had she gazed with delight at the ser pent's beautiful sparkling eye, and beheld with admiration his graceful curves as he bounded from point to point—she knew not aught on earth that could harm—how should she suspect the deep design against her peace ! It was not strange to hear the serpent speak—all was new, and there- fore nothing strange. The fatal deed was done ! Death was written on all their prospects, and despair stared them in the face, turn which- ever way they might! The wretched pair are driven from their happy peaceful home, and Eve cries out— ■' O unexpected stroke, worse than death, Must I thus leave thee, Paradise? thus leave Thee, native soil! these happy walks and shades, Fit haunt of gods! where I had hope to spend, Quiet, though sad, the respite of that day That must be mortal to us both." 12 HI3T0LY OF MARRIAGE. What a contrast between their past and their present sit- uation ! Now, toil and care—sickness and pain—self-deni- al and remorse—sin and repentance—suffering- and death, He scattered in the pathway before them. But amidst the general wreck, one consolation yet remained. Through the dense cloud of almost overwhelming gloom, shone forth one solitary star, beaming with ever increasing beauty and brightness, to cheer their disappointed hearts—to lighten their dark and melancholy way. Connubial love, with all the elevated enjoyments that follow in its train, nearest akin to the pleasures they have forever lost, was in mercy left— heaven's highest, richest boon compatible with a state of sin. It cheered them in their wanderings, animated them to exertion in their daily round of toil, and shielded them from the horrors of despair. By the little that can be learned from the Bible of the history of the antediluvian race, it appears that in the early- ages of the world, woman was regarded as of but little con- sequence except as a wife. In any other light, she was con- sidered as a kind of menial servant, a mere creature of no benefit whatever, in her day and generation, except to ren- der tribute to the other sex. But as a wife, as an instru- ment or medium for the propagation of her species,.she be- came partially invested with that dignity in reference to the welfare of succeeding generations, which her position demanded. Before the flood, there is evidence of but one instance of polygamy: " Lamech took unto him two wives!" as though it were strange indeed, uncommon, and worthy of record. And we would here suggest a new interpretation of a passage of scripture, concerning which no theologian as far as we have examined, gives an opinion at all satisfac- tory. "And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech; for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt." This is truly a remarkable passai and must mean something-something too of no trivial impor- tance to his wives. " Hear my voice, ye wives of Lamech, ^ThenbUHto my T?h" h " no' eenera% apposed mnlrm,ttedmUrder-ifs°' why should he address them in that impressive manner-as though the fact of in- forming them was of about as much consequence as the fact .taolfl Would lt be a wide stretch of ftnJy to suppose him GRECIAN MARRIAGES. 13 acknowledging the injury he had done to some man, of course unknown, and a " young man" too, by depriving him of his rights in appropriating two women to himself, and obliging thereby the young man to live a single life 1 Mat- rimony was even at that early day regarded as a blessing; and thus early there is no other case of polygamy recorded. Might not Lamech have discovered that the number of the sexes was nearly equal, and felt constrained to confess the wrong to his bosom friends 1 But be that as it may, it is by no means probable that polygamy was at any time common before the flood. For Adam, God created but one wife—Cain had but one—Noah and his three sons had each but one—and they together with Lamech are the only men whose wives are spoken of before the flood. After the deluge, the wife took a still more exalted stand in the public estimation. When Abram went into Egypt, he feared to let it be known that Sarai was his wife, lest he should be killed by the Egyptians in order to possess themselves of his beautiful and accomplished companion—as though they would sooner kill him than vi- olate the sacred character of the marriage relations. It must be admitted, that, in this instance, Abram did not show himself a very gallant and heroic husband, in thus exposing his wife to strangers as a maiden, and he came well nigh losing her by his temerity. At a much later period, it seems, that the inhabitants of the plain entirely abolished the marriage relations, and freely gave themselves up to a licentiousness at which hu- man nature, with all its frailties, instinctively revolts. It was probably a mercy to them that they were suddenly de- stroyed—and God in that instance, as He has ever done, exhibited his utter abhorrence of the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes. He has ever followed it with the most loath- some and degrading diseases—He has thus undertaken to teach mankind that it is a most palpable violation of the laws of the human constitution—and how much more should He reprobate the inconceivable pollution of the cities of the plain! In ancient Greece, twelve hundred years before Christ, Matrimony was viewed of so much importance, and was re- garded so choice a blessing, that the strongest anathema that could be denounced against a man, was to say, that " he deserved not to enjoy the rights of a citizen, the protection of a subject, or the happiness of domestic life." Woman at- 14 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. tained as high a rank, and probably higher, in that country, than any other, where the doctrines of the Bible had not been disseminated. It was customary among the Greeks of the heroic ages, by whom the charms of beauty and fe- male loveliness were respected, to celebrate the conjugal union with all the pomp and circumstance of religious fes- tivity. The hymeneal song was sung to cheer and gladden the hearts of the happy pair—the joyous band carried the nuptial torches in pride and ostentation through the city— the lustral waters were drawn from the consecrated foun- tain—and many revered ceremonies conspired to render the connection of husband and wife comparatively respect- able and sacred. But woman was far from being consid- ered the equal companion of her husband. She was not re- garded as the mother, the sister, the wife, the affectionate friend. Although the Trojan war was based upon the rage and hatred of a slighted lover; though all European and Asiatic Greece became the theatre of war and carnage to gratify the revengeful emotions of blasted and disappointed affection ; and though the ten years siege which terminated in the entire destruction of ancient Troy, was begun, car- ried on and completed, through the influence of the accom- plished and beautiful, but treacherous and inconstant He- len ; yet woman was degraded far below her rightful sphere and appropriate condition. It is true, indeed, that a young and beautiful Grecian queen, could captivate the soul and affections of a youthful prince adorned with all those bril- liant accomplishments that too often make shipwreck of the female mind. But this sanguinary and eventful war, so celebrated in story and song, was not the result of that high estimation of the female sex, which prevails in society where it is refined and exalted by the milder manner and loftier morality of the christian religion. It did not arise from that sympathetic tenderness of the affections, peculiar to the bolder and nobler sex in a Christian land—but was the fruit of a pertinacious adherence to the empty forms of gallantry, and therefore furnished very appropriate mate- rials for the poet's fanciful imagination. At this period of Grecian history, the violation of the marriage bed was considered a crime of equal enormity with murder and the guilty criminal seldom escaped death, ex- cept by flight Instances of prostitution were rare, except by those who had been taken captive in war, and they most probably submitted to this degradation only in consequence HELEN AND PARIS. 15 of their miserable servitude. A promiscuous intercourse among the sexes was by no means common, except in sea- sons of general festivity. The emotions of woman's heart were not compelled to lie buried ' like a worm in the bud ;' but the frank expression of her affections was encouraged, and invested her with increased loveliness and new honors. At the time of which we now write, polygamy, strictly speaking, was not encouraged or allowed; but, concubines were kept, generally captives taken in war, who held a much lower rank than the wife. By some historians it has been asserted that wives, as such, were purchased—which opin- ion has probably been formed from the mutual exchange of presents between the husband and intended father-in-law. The historian, Gilles, says, "the Greeks had particular terms to express the present which the husband bestowed, as well as that which he received. The former, which has no corresponding term in the modern languages, is translat- ed by the more general word '■price,'' which has given rise to the fake notion of the purchase and servitude of women." In all nations where the wife is purchased, she is regard- ed as every thing else purchasable is, as worth just so much money, and no more ; and, of course, if the sum is offered, the bargain " is struck." In such a state of society, she cannot assume a position more elevated than the ordinary slave. The gallantry of the ancient Greeks, with their al- most superstitious respect for the marriage relation, forbids at once the idea that their wives were either bought or treated like slaves. An idea of their conjugal love is rather overwrought, but most beautifully and graphically express- ed by Homer, in his immortal Iliad. In the siege of Troy, in the midst of those battles so gigantic and so sanguinary, the immortal gods themselves are represented as having taken part in them. Hector, son of king Priam, left the field to seek his brother Paris, on account of whose wife the war had been prosecuted. He found him with the beau- tiful Helen, unwilling to leave her to engage in the strife. Paris consents to fly to arms since Helen desires it; at the eame time, Helen desires Hector to prosecute the fight no longer on her account. To which Hector replies : " This time forbids to rest; The Trojan band, by hostile fury prest, Demand their Hector, and his arm require; The combat urges, and my soul's on fire. 16 HISTORY of marriage. Urge thou thy knight to march where glory calls, And timely join me, ere I leave the walls, Ere yet I mingle in the direful fray, My wife, my infant, claim a moment's stay ; This day (perhaps the last that sees me here) Demands a parting word, a tender tear; This day, some god who hates our Trojan land May vanquish Hector by a Grecian hand. He said, and pass'd with sad presaging heart To seek his spouse, his soul's far dearer part; At home he sought her, but he sought in vain : She, with one maid of all her menial train, Had thence retired ; and, with her second joy, The young Astyanax, the hope of Troy. Pensive she stood on Ilion's towery height, Beheld the war, and sicken'd at the sight: There her sad eyes in vain her lord explore, Or weep the wounds her bleeding country bore. But he who found not whom his soul desired, Whose virtue charm'd him as her beauty fir'd, Stood in the gates, and ask'd what way she bent Her parting steps ? If to the fane she went, Where late the mourning matrons made resort ; Or sought her sisters in the Trojan -court ? Not to the court, (replied th' attendant train.) Nor mix'd with matrons to Minerva's fane : To Ilion's steepy tower she bent her way, To mark the fortunes of the doubtful day. Troy fled, she heard, before the Grecian sword; She heard and trembled for her absent lord : Distracted with surprise, she seem'd to fly, Fear on her cheek, and sorrow in her eye. The nurse attended with her infant boy, The young Astyanax, the hope of Troy. Hector this heard, return'd without delay : Swift through the town he trod his former way, Through streets of palaces, and walks of state •' And met the mourner at the Seaman gate. With haste to meet him sprung the joyful fair, His blameless wife, Aetion's wealthy heir : (Cilician Thebe great Action sway'd, And Hyppoplacia's wide extended shade :) The nurse stood near, in whose embraces press'd His only hope hung smiling at her breast, Whom each soft charm and early grace adorn Fair as the new-born star that gilds the morn.' To this loved infant, Hector gave the name HECTOR AND HIS WIFE. 17 Scamandrius, from Scamander's honor'd stream : Astyanax the Trojans called the boy, From his great father, the defence of Troy. Silent the warrior smiled, and pleased, resign'd To tender passions all his mighty mind. His beauteous princess cast a mournful look, Hung on his hand, and then dejected spoke ; Her bosom labor'd with a boiling sigh, And the big tear stood trembling in her eye. "Too daring prince! ah, whither dost thou run 1 Ah, too forgetful of thy wife and son ! And think'st thou not how wretched we shall be, A widow I, and a helpless orphan he.' For sure such courage length of life denies; Aud thou must fall, thy virture's sacrifice. Greece in her single heroes strove in vain; Now hosts oppose thee, and thou must be slain! Oh ! grant me, gods, ere Hector meets his doom, All I can ask of heaven, an early tomb. So shall my days in one sad tenor run, And end with sorrows as they first begun. No parent now remains my griefs to share, No father's aid, no mother's tender care. The fierce Achilles wrapped our walls in fire, Lay Thebe waste, and slew my warlike sire ! His fate compassion in the victor bred; Stern as he was, he yet rever'd the dead ; His radiant arms preserved from hostile spoil, And laid him decent on the funeral pile ; Then raised a mountain where his bones were buru;« The mountain nymphs the rural tomb adorned, Jove's sylvan daughters bade their elms bestow A barren shade, and in his honor grow. By the same arm my seven brave brothers fell, In one sad day beheld the gates of hell: While the fat herds and snowy flocks they fed; Amid their field the hapless heroes bled ! My mother liv'd to bear the victor's bands, The queen of Hippoplacia's sylvan lands : Redeemed too late, she scarce beheld again Her pleasing empire and her native plain, When, ah ! opprest by life—consuming wo, She fell a victim to Diana's bow. Yet, while my Hector still survives, I see My father, mother, brethren, all, in thee : Alas! my parents, brothers, kindred, all Once more will perish, if my Hector fall. Thy wife, thy infant in thy danger share: 18 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. Oh prove a husband's and a father's care ! That quarter most the skilful Greeks annoy, Where yon wild fig-trees join the walls of Troy; Then from this tower defend th' important post: There Agamemnon points his dreadful host, That pass Tydides, Ajax, strive to gain, And there the vengeful Spartan fires his train. Thrice our bold foes the fierce attack have given, Or led by hopes, or dictated from heaven. Let others in the field their arms employ, But stay, my Hector, here, and guard his Troy." Such is a picture of conjugal love drawn by an author nearly three thousand years ago. Even at the present day, we are unaccustomed to invest the marriage relation with much higher charms or much deeper interest. The immor- tal bard goes on to show, that to Andromache's heart, the wife of Hector, the loss of her father and seven brothers in battle, and her own dear mother's slavery and broken heart, were trifling afflictions compared with the loss of her hus- band. With Hector, the sorrow for his mother's death— his father's hairs defiled with gore, and all his brothers gasping in the last agonies of cruel death, was not so great as to see, in his imagination, his wife in captivity, and hear her fallen greatness ridiculed with the taunting cry— " Behold the mighty Hector's wife ! But at a later period in the history of Greece, we find that the value of the female sex was estimated like that of the most ignoble objects—merely by profit or utility. They were perpetually confined to the most retired and secluded apartments, and doomed to the performance of the meanest offices of domestic economy. They were unceremoniously excluded from all the fond delights of social and domestic intercourse, which nature has so peculiarly fitted them to adorn. Their education was either entirely neglected, or confined to such low and contemptible objects as tended on- ly to debase and degrade the mind. No efforts were made to render them agreeable members of society. " Though neither qualified for holding an honorable rank in society-, nor permitted to enjoy the company of their nearest friends and relations, they were thought capable of superintending or performing the drudgery of domestic labor, acting as stewards for their husbands, and thus relieving them from a TEMPLES OF VENUS. 19 multiplicity of little cares, which seemed unworthy of their attention, and unsuitable to their dignity."* The whole burden of such mercenary cares was imposed upon the fe- male sex, and her treatment and instructions were all adapt- ed to that servile rank, beyond which she could never af- terwards aspire. Nothing was allowed to divert her de- graded and drooping mind from those low occupations to which she was cruelly and perpetually doomed. Before Christ, 333 years, Alexander conquered Persia Greece was now at the height of its glory, and her inhabit ants gave themselves up to all those unbridled and enervat ing indulgences which are sure presages of a nation's fall Luxury, pride, licentiousness and debaucheryr, had grown with their growth, their passions had become base ana* pow- erful, till virtuous love could scarcely furnish the least evi- dence of its existence. In the Greek colonies of Asia, temples of Venus were erected, where undisguised prostitution was practised, with- out the least efforts at secrecy, or the least apparent shame. Here the most beautiful and accomplished damsels conse- crated themselves as priestesses to the goddess of Love. Corinth was particularly noted for its temple of Venus, where at one time, more than 1000 females were maintained within its walls, ever ready to mingle in the most revolting scenes of degradation, and to prostitute themselves for filthy lucre. This may appear almost incredible to the mind of the chaste and virtuous reader. What! one thousand of the fair and beautiful of our race, in a single city, whose sole employment was, to descend to the lowest depths of infamy ! The thought is most startling ! But, were all the facts disclosed, even our own times would rival the ancient Grecians in obscenity, especially in some of our larger towns. In 1837, in a city of the United States, containing a population of only 20,000 inhabitants, the Ladies' Moral Reform Society of that place, published that there were during the season of navigation, at least a thousand women of ill fame. The Society was at once denounced by one of the city papers, as a vile slanderer of their beautiful city and of the female sex. Whereupon the officers of the So- ciety appealed to the town council for an endorsement of their opinion and statement, and it was promptly given. * Gilles' -Greece—page 174. 20 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. Vhis city had but 20,000 inhabitants, while Corinth con- tained several hundred thousand. When men countenanced such a system, of course they would spare no pains to ensure its perpetuity. They were at great trouble and expense to obtain girls, still in tender childhood, from the islands of the Archipelago and other parts, (for which, not unfrequently, enormous sums were paid,) that they might be trained for this semi-religious prostitution, when of maturer age. Some of them acquired immense fortunes. Phryne, a beauty of such enticing ex- terior that she could command whatever sum she pleased for her favors, had accumulated such a princely fortune, that she offered to rebuild, at her own expense, Thebes, which had been destroyed by Alexander, provided she could have inscribed on the walls—" Alexander diruit sed mere- trix Phryne refecit." These abandoned characters, who trafficked in their charms, by their intercourse with public affairs, became well informed upon all matters of general interest, more attractive in their manners, and consequently were possessed of fascinations far superior to the virtuous wife who seldom left her own secluded apartments, and who was never visited except by her near relations. The stronger sex seemed infatuated by their power—wives were neglected, and these abandoned women ruled the city. Licentious pictures were circulated in abundance, and everywhere commanded a ready sale. The vile and degraded but celebrated harlot, Phryne, was the model made use of by Praxiteles, the celebrated Grecian sculptor, for two statues of Venus—one naked, the other dressed. The king of Bythinia was so eager to procure the former, that he offered to pay, to secure it, the Cnidian debt, which was enormous. But they chose rather to pay their own liabilities than lose the privilege of feasting their vo- luptuous eyes upon the marble statue, which it is said pos- sessed an appearance of all the softness and sensibility of nature. Not a few of these characters acquired a distinction which has handed their names down to posterity. The most renowned of all, perhaps, was Aspasia of Miletus. Her charms exerted no small influence upon the affairs of the nation. She was a woman possessed of extraordinary mental endowments, daughter of Axiochus, and, we are in- formed, possessed a profound knowledge of eloquence and , philosophy, insomuch that Socrates and Pericles became her pupils, the latter of whom became so captivated by her GRECIAN LICENTIOUSNESS. 21 mental and personal accomplishments, that he took her for his wife and mistress. Among those of less note were Le- ontium and Theodora. This licentious debauchery, and high-handed violation of the laws of God and of the human constitution, was com- mon and practised to a most alarming and humiliating ex- tent, among the first families of that ancient people—even kings and princes mingled openly in the general degrada- tion, and queens and princesses became their paramours and mistresses. It is recorded of Alexander as a proof of his exalted virtues, that when he had defeated Darius and his army of 600,000 men, and taken his wife, mother, and daughters prisoners, instead of making them slaves, as by the custom of war he might have done, he treated them with the highest regard, and afterwards honorably married one of the daughters, and gave her sister in marriage to one of his favorite generals, Hepeston. This makes him APrEAR a very virtuous and indulgent conqueror—but the same learned author is compelled to state in another place, that he had a mistress by the name of Campaspe, between whom and himself there existed, on her part, the strongest attach- ments. He had a picture styled " Venus Anadome," taken of her, which was the work of Appelles, the first artist of the age. The beautiful Campaspe was the model. It was hardly strange that the devoted artist should be removed by the overpowering charms which his faithful pencil deline- ated. When Alexander was advised of his passion, regard- less of her feelings and devotion to him, he gave her as a donation to the painter—degrading her from her fancied devotion of the favored flattered mistress of the most distin- guished monarch, to a mere instrument for the gratification of a lustful appetite. In one of Cyrus' invasions, the governor of Cilicia sent his wife to meet that conqueror on the frontiers of Phrygia, to conciliate his favor with costly presents. She also lent him the charms of her beauty, and thus saved her country from devastation and ruin. So completely did she over- power and subdue this monarch by her fascinations, that he even reviewed his troops in her presence to do her honor. Sad degeneracy from rude virtue to refined lust! bad change from those times, but a few centuries before, when Matrimony was esteemed a gift of the gods, to a degredation of the populace that even led magistrates to attribute the ■22 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. repulse of Xerxes to the prevailing prayers of abandoned harlots! What a melancholy contrast between that period when adultery was punishable by death, and the time of which we now write, when the portraits of public prosti- tutes were painted at the public expense ! Who can won- der that Greece fell—that all her greatness crumbled and was trodden under foot, when unbridled passion thus de- molished all the safeguards of private virtue and domestic bliss 1 Our own country might learn a lesson here, worthy of perpetual remembrance. When Greece supposed herself in the very front rank of the nations of antiquity—when she was in the zenith of her boasted glory—when she stood upon the high pinnacle of her political consequence, it would seem that her settled policy was to crush and belittle female influence. It ought to be humiliating to the pride of man, that his sex has been the guilty instrument of such unpardonable insult to the most amiable part of the human species, and that too, by a peo- ple by far the most refined of all the nations of ancient days. Historians may eulogize the Grecian name—they may write of their exalted virtues—their heroism—their patriotism and valor—they ma}- tell of their achievements in the sciences and in the arts—but never! never can they obliterate the indelible stigma, the deep and abiding re- proach, that this refined and comparatively exalted people, malignantly insulted and degraded the female character ! In the candid and impartial estimation of every refined and Christian country, the indignity with which the gentler sex was treated by the Grecians, will forever remain a foul blot upon the pages of their country's history. Concerning the ancient Persians and other inhabitants oi Asia, but little is known. From the few fragments of his- tory which have come down to us, it appears that polygamy was indulged, which is proof per se that the wife was not regarded as the equal of the husband. She was guarded with watchful care as at the present day—which shows the little confidence men placed in each other's honor and fidel- ity ; and every man seemed to consider and take for granted that every other man would regard female charms as lawful plunder. Perhaps no more certain method can be devised to corrupt a woman's imagination and create licentious de- sires, than to keep her in almost perpetual seclusion, lest she should be robbed of her virtue. By this means she is from childhood reminded of her particular consequence in FEMALES IN SYRIA AND WESTERN ASIA. 23 the eyes of man ; and the reason of her surveillance perpet- ually suggests the reason of that consequence. Her mind naturally dwells upon the subject sought to be concealed, and curiosity induces desire to break away from her thraldom, and learn something of the profound mystery. It has gene- rally been found that coercive measures for the preserva- tion of female chastity, have resulted in her corruption at heart, and in her fall from that purity which stamps her sex with inestimable value. In all countries where unreasona- ble restraint is imposed upon her, as well as in those where she is elevated to her rightful position, " if woman chance to swerve from the strictest rules of virtue, Ruin ensues, reproach and endless shame, And one false step forever blasts her fame ! In vain with tears the loss she may deplore ; In vain look back to what she was before : She sets like stars that fall to rise no more !" In Syria and western Asia, prostitution was connected with their religious services and ceremonies, as was the case in Greece. Females of tender age, served in the Aprodite and unhesitatingly bestowed their semi-religious favors upon the visitors. This mock religion, no doubt, had many sin- cere worshippers, for thus they had been taught from early childhood—but, at this day, the cultivated mind sickens at these painful disclosures of almost beastly degradation un- der the solemn sanctity of religion. It can scarcely credit the faithful and impartial historian who records these evi- dences of total depravfty in the children of our fallen race. In upper Asia, the Bramins, the aristocracy of the popu- lation, are permitted to monopolize the first attentions and favors of the new-married wife, who esteems it an honor. The Bramin, strange a^ it may seem, is regarded as unre- servedly consecrated to his religion, so much so, that earth- en vessels belonging to him, when used by profane persons, or for certain purposes, must be broken. Leather and skins of animals, and most animals themselves, must not be touched by them, on account of their impurity. He is also taught to entertain a horror of the defilement of the soul by sin; and rules for purification by ablution, penances, and various ceremonies, are prescribed. How perfectly absurd and su- premely ridiculous the thought, that they are the holy men of God, whom they pretend to worship, while they live in continual and open violation of the sanctity of the matri- monial relations existing between husband and wife ! 24 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. In Assyria, girls of proper age to marry, were sold at auction; and the bids received for those whose charms commanded a round sum, were sequestered for those whose attractions commanded no bid at all; in other words, the sum which was paid for the young damsel who had external accomplishments to recommend her to the favor of her courtier, was passed to the credit of some one less favored by the bestowment of those graces. Thus those who had not found favor in the eyes of the goddess of beauty, not unfrequently were able to couple with their homely per- son, and ugly, awkward, mis-shaped figure, a princely for- tune, which is sometimes an important desideratum in the mind of the young man seeking a wife. This custom is somewhat analogous to the Catholic's plan of salvation, which gives the extra works of the good man, or works of supererogation, to him who has nothing to recommend him to the high favor of his offended Redeemer—thus taking the wretch steeped in iniquity and crime home to paradise, upon the merits of some pharisaical priest who has a surplus of righteousness, but is somewhat in want of money ! In all countries where woman is valued for the mere physical pleasure or pecuniary profit she is capable of yield- ing, she is not permitted to enjoy the privilege of her own choice in the selection of a husband. At one time or another, among nearly all the oriental nations, she has been regarded as a mere chattel, destined to live and act entirely at the sovereign pleasure and disposal of others—to be ruled and guided by the whims, caprices and passions of the " stronger vessel," with whom might was right, and weak- ness no protecting shield. Thus she has lived her brief and miserable day, somewhat valued and caressed while the charms of beauty and of youth coulfi excite and satiate the amorous propensities of the tyrant who had her in custody— but neglected, despised, and forgotten, when the rose tint had faded from her damask cheek, and she was no longer able to minister to the gratification of his brutal propensities. Licentiousness has always been " the sin which has so easily beset" the stronger sex. It is highly probable that in the early ages of the world, this was the prevailing error for which the Almighty poured out upon the inhabitants the hot vials of his wrath, and gave them such signal tokens of the divine displeasure. Some have supposed that for this the world was destroyed by water. It may be supposed that, previous to the flood, God had DAWS OF MOSES. 25 not, by any signal display of his vengeance, revealed his abhorrence of promiscuous commerce between the sexes__ that he had not thundered his denunciations against this detestable wickedness—and that the inhabitants had not learned, by the sad experience of former ages, its dreadful and prostrating influences; and, therefore, following the dictates of unrestrained passion, they became the victims of the violation of the organic laws of their own constitutions. In after times, among the cities of the plain, the inhabi- tants became so sunken in vice, so degraded and polluted by their own lusts, and so perfectly lost to all sense of shame, that burning liquid brimstone alone could purify them from the contamination of their own foul misdeeds. God never passes any ex post facto laws—that is, his justice will not permit him to pass a law, making that a crime which was before innocent, and then punish for its transgression or violation before the law was made known. His vengeance in this instance, fully proves that the inhabitants of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah well understood the will of God upon this subject. They, as well as the antediluvians, might readily understand it by an acquaintance with the laws of their own physical and moral constitutions, as well as a history of the creation of the first pair in Eden. Previous to the destruction of these cities, the marriage relation had been known and well understood. The mutual obligations of the parties had often been acknowledged. Starting upon these premises, that the inhabitants knew what was right in this regard, to preserve that holy bond inviolate, one of the ten commandments was, " thou shalt not commit adultery"—and to throw around it every safe- guard that could shield it, another was, " thou shalt not co- vet thy neighbor's wife." They were here forbidden even to desire their neighbor's wives, lest they might be for in- venting means for accomplishing their gratification by de- priving their neighbors of what was lawfully theirs. Thus God not only designed to enforce the purity of the wife, lut to give the sanction of Heaven to the inviolability of he marriage relation itself. No small portion of the laws given by Moses to the Israel- ,tes, had reference to the sanctity of the relations of hus- band and wife. Adultery and incest were punished capi- tally, or with death ! but at the present day, and even in some'of the United States, this matter is laughed to scorn 2 26 History of marriage. and derision as a mere trifling affair of innocent amusement! They seem disposed to countenance indirectly, an uproot ing of the very foundations of society, and a demolition of the partition walls that separate between virtue and vice. Under the laws of Moses, fornication with a young wo- man not betrothed could be atoned for by marriage only— • with a bondmaid, the punishment was scourging. If the daughter of a priest indulged in lewd habits, or even foi once suffered a violation of her chastity, she was burnt alive —a striking contrast with the treatment of other women, who seem not to have been punished at all. Captives taken in war, might become wives and divorced at pleasure, but in that case they were to be free. If a man accused his wife falsely of incontinence, he must pay her father a cer- tain sum of money amounting to about fifty dollars, and could never after divorce her. Priests could marry none but virgins. Husbands were exempt from military service for one year after their marriage. If a man married and died without offspring, the next of kin was under obliga- tions to marry the surviving widow, on pain of public dis- grace ; and the children rightfully succeeded to the name and honors of the first husband. The wife could not make a vow without the consent of the husband. Under such laws, marriage was considered honorable and desirable. Fathers regarded it as very desirable that their daughters should marry before twenty years of age. Though the an- cient Israelites possessed strong and almost irresistible pas- sions, they were generally a chaste and virtuous people. Their elevated notions upon this institution, combined with their strong love of children, or philoprogenitiveness, made them place a high estimation upon woman as a wife. Their weddings were usually celebrated with a season of protracted festivity, and in a manner too that indicated it to be one of the most important events of life. The bridegroom re- paired with his paranymph or brideman, and a few select friends, to the house of his intended. The friends of the bride assembled ; and in separate apartments the different sexes rejoiced and made merry. For seven days they passed their time in proposing riddles, and in innocent plays and amusements. On the evening of the last day, the bride was formally surrendered; at which time the company started with torches, songs, and instrumental music, for the ?Uf£ °k ^ bndeSroom's ^ther. The friends and relatives of the bridegroom were at home, and anxiously waiting to THE ANCIENT JEWS 21 receive them. While they made merry or waited in silence at the lather s residence, a watchman was stationed without to give notice of the company's approach. Perhaps 'tis late—and the hour of the night depends something upon the distance to travel—and they are probably all reposing in the quiet slumbers of the night. The watchman, all of a sudden, beholds the faint light of the torches in the dim dis- tance, and he sounds the long expected alarm, " behold the bridegroom cometh—go ye out to meet him." In haste they arouse themselves, and go forth, each with his torch, to es- cort the happy couple home. On arriving, they find a sumptuous entertainment provided ; and the remainder of the night, or the principal part of it, is spent in feasting and mirth. No interlopers or uninvited guests can intrude them- selves ; but every person present who has no right there by invitation, or on account of intimacy with rejoicing friends, is immediately forced to depart. The modern Jews ratify the marriage rite with a regular and uniform ceremony. The contracting parties stand up under a canopy, both veiled—a cup of wine is blessed and given them to drink. The bridegroom places a ring upon the finger of the bride, saying, " by this ring thou art my spouse according to the custom of Moses and the children of Israel." The marriage contract is then read and given to the bride's parents or nearest relations ; after which ano- ther cup of wine is blessed six times, of which they par- take ; the remainder is emptied, and the husband dashes the cup against the wall, in perpetual remembrance of the mournful destruction of their once noble and magnificent temple. It is a disputed point whether the law of Moses prohibited polygamy. Beyond all question it was practised to some extent; but it became obsolete at the coming of our Sav- viour. Solomon, like Robin Roughhead in the play, seemed pretty well determined that " there should be no widows, for he would marry them all!" Whether he succeeded in his charitable design, history doth not inform us ; but no less than one thousand charming females, including his wives and concubines, the fairest, most beautiful and vo- luptuous of the daughters of Israel, as well as of the sur- rounding nations, graced his domestic circle. Whether the accomplished Queen of the South, to whom " he gave all her desire," was included in the number, we know not; but we may learn a lesson of the sad results of polygamy in 28 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. their influence over this exalted monarch, in persuading him to build them temples for the indulgence of their su- perstition in the worship of their gods. He could govern a nation wisely, but female influence governed him as is abundantly proved by the testimony of history—or rather his passions governed him, as his amorous, not to say obscene songs, clearly demonstrate. The ancient Jews well understood the predictions of the prophets, that in later days the Saviour and Redeemer of mankind was to make his appearance in our fallen and apos- tate world. Century after century they anxiously looked for the coming of the promised Shiloh. He was to be a Jew ! Who should have the honor of his parentage 1 This was an interesting inquiry among them, and one which doubtless contributed in no small degree to render the marriage state desirable as well as honorable. Its tendency also was to elevate the standing of the female sex, by inspiring her with the highest self-respect. Debarred as she was from a par- ticipation in the solemn and imposing rites and ceremonies which were regarded the chief glory of the nation ; yet she could not fail to be conscious of her importance, when she considered that she was to give birth to the Saviour of our race. Each naturally and almost instinctively asked herself the question, " who shall be the happy mother of the Lord Jesus Christ 1" I may be thus blest as the happiest among women—it may be my daughter—it may be my grand- daughter, or some of my posterity." Such considerations could not but elevate the feelings of the sex, influence an ardent desire to enter the marriage state—and when mar- ried, the exclamation was hardly strange, " give me chil- dren, or I die !" The institution of Matrimony was regarded as a matter of no trifling concernment among the ancient Romans. Fa- thers who refused to apportion their daughters, or to per- mit their marriage, were compelled to do so by the civil authorities. Married men in society took precedence of unmarried men, or bachelors, wholly irrespecting and independent of any considerations of wealth, rank or age. They were looked upon, and justly too, as ha'vino- dis- charged a high and important duty which they owed to so- ciety and the world. For this reason they enjoyed alto- gether superior chances for obtaining high offices of trust profit and responsibility; having in part at least, discharged the sacred obligations due to their fellow men Senators THE ROMAN CUSTOMS. 29 other conditions being equal, who had numerous families, took precedence i.f their fellow members, in all matters of importance in the Senate chamber. It was supposed that such members had a deeper interest in the perpetuity and welfare of their institutions—an aristocracy, if so it may be termed, altogether more natural and rational than those con- temptible sordid distinctions based upon filthy lucre. Such a man might be reasonably.looked upon as acting, not mere- ly for himself, but for the children of his own body. He also enjoyed exemptions from the performance of arduous, laborious, and painful duties which might be imposed upon others. Hence, at one time in their history, we find that a married man who was the father of three children, could not be compelled to accept of any office contrary to his in* clinations. But notwithstanding the apparent dignity thus attached to the marriage relation, it seems not to have been a suffi- ciently sacred institution—for to the original law which gave to the husband the unreasonable and absolute right to divorce his wife for adultery, poisoning his children, or counterfeiting his keys, was added another which gave him the liberty of dissolving this solemn contract for the most trifling offences, and on the most frivolous pretences. For instance, lodging abroad without being able to give to his lordship, her husband, a satisfactory reason—going to the theatre contrary to his lordship's orders, and kindred trifling aberrations from duty, were offences sufficiently grave to justify the stern decree of a separation. But in this matter of divorce, there seems to have been an acknowledgment of the mutual rights of the parties; for the wife could also repudiate the husband—an authority tor which we should scarcely have looked, when we considered the source whence the laws emanated—and especially when we have had such oft-repeated evidences of the selfishness of man, and his extreme jealousy of his authority regarding this subject. But we must confess, that in this instance, the Romans exhibited a sense of justice which could hardly have been looked for in their history, and an implied ac- knowledgment that woman had righto that ought to be re- garded-a policy which legislates of modern days seem ^-USSS^einany was celebrated with no^nconsid erable degree of pomp and circumstance. The utmost care was taken to nx upona day that had been found not to be 30 HISTORY OF MAnRIAGE. unlucky. The latter part of June was preferred to any other season of the year. The day previous to the wedding, the bride elect divided her hair into six locks, and sacrificed liberally to the goddess of marriage, and the goddess of love. On the wedding day she ornamented herself with flowers, and encircled her waist with a woollen zone, tied in a " Her- cules knot." Her face was covered with a red veil, and her feet with red shoes, emblems of modesty. After the auspi- ces were taken, and sacrifices had been offered to the gods of matrimony, the couple seated themselves upon the fleece of the victim. In the evening the bride was led home by her husband, who pretended to take her from her mother by force, inclusion to the rage of the Sabines. They were accompanied by a great crowd with music and demonstra- tions of merriment. Arriving at the house, she hung wool- en bands at the door posts as signs of her chastity, and rub- bed the posts with the fat of wolves and hogs, to guard against enchantment. The keys were given her, and she and her husband touched fire and water as signs of chastity and purity. After various other ceremonies and feasting, the bride was conducted to her bridal chamber, by matrons who had been but once married.* How little do we find in all our researches among the nations of antiquity, upon this subject, that can fill the mind with pleasure ! Among the countless millions who have peopled our revolted world, almost universally we find the female sex has been made the passive instrument for the gratification of man's sensual appetites—and even where she has been treated in some small degree as the equal of her husband, it has been more frequently the result of mere an- imal love, than a sense of her moral and intellectual worth. It was left for Christianity alone to teach us the real na- tural position and worth of the sex. For even now, in ail countries except those where the religion of the cross has shed its benign and meliorating influences, subduing the passions, elevating the affections, exalting and ennobling the intellect, and refining the moral over the animal nature of man, she is still, whatever may be her circumstances other- wise, from the empress on her throne down to the degraded captive in the harem, a slave to the lusts of brutal man. She has risen by slow and gradual progress, to higher and higher degrees of estimation, as the pure and holy principles * See 8th Vol. Encyclopedia Americana, art. on " Marriage." barbarous nations. 31 of the Bible have been promulgated in the world. Females command regard in just such proportion as the moral feel- ings predominate. When these prevail, they are invariably esteemed as the friends and suitable companions of man. And here we may be permitted to remark, that the lessons of wisdom and morality taught in the sacred Scriptures, are eminently calculated to refine, elevate, and properly culti- vate man's moral nature. They teach him his own frail- ties ; his relations to God; and the relative position and re- sponsibilities which he occupies in society. He learns from the teachings of the inspired penman, that woman is not to be degraded into a mere toy and a base instrument for his gratification. He is there taught that she has high and no- ble functions to perform—that she is endowed with graces, virtues and affections, the proper cultivation of which, will shed beams of high and permanent delight on all the rela- tions of the domestic circle. That she is rightfully to share with him the pleasures, and divide with him all the bitter sorrows of life—and that she is emphatically his partner in all that is valuable in the social world. It is a truth most deplorable and shocking to the feelings of a sensitive and delicate female, that the condition of her sex is so miserable and degraded among all barbarous na- tions. Where the lower feelings of man's nature predomi- nate, and where the male sex has not received the benefi- cent influences of a Christian education, there the female has been, and still is, and ever will be, reduced to a state of vassalage and abject servitude. This is her melancholy condition in every land where the Bible is unknown; and in many countries where the religion of Jesus Christ is un- taught, she is bought and sold at the fall of the hammer, like beasts in the market. It is in vain that she undertakes to vindicate her invaluable rights—in vain that she raises her imploring voice at the feet of the heartless tyrant. He disregards her anxious prayers, tramples upon her tears, and ruthlessly disregards all the tender feelings of her agonizing soul. Her rights are looked upon as of no importance when they come in competition with his desires of self-gratifica- tion. All her interests—all she holds dear and valuable in this world and the world to come—all! all! must be cruelly and unreservedly sacrificed as a contribution to the unhal- lowed pleasures of man's vitiated and perverted appetite. We are inclined to consider the testimony of history upon this subject, a most serious commentary on the depravity ot 32 HISTORY OF marriage. human nature. Even among civilized nations, the doctrines of the Bible and the religion of Jesus Christ, is the only infal- lible safeguard of the sex. They are like a strong fortress to guard and protect the weak and helpless. Among the nations of modern days, China comes in for her full share of infamy, on account of her shameless abuse of the gentler sex. She has a population comprising more than one fourth the inhabitants of the entire globle; a nation that has stood still, in ail the improvements of the world which have distinguished other nations for more than four thousand years—a people that boasts an origin farther back in the faint twilight of antiquity than any other, and oi having lost themselves in the remote period of more than forty-nine thousand years of their national history, and which sets herself up as the standard of human perfectibility —yet she thinks and acts, to a fraction, precisely as she did before the deep foundations of the ancient Babylon were laid. Internal commotions and civil discord have almost rent the empires of earth assunder, but no alternations have ever changed the habits and characteristics of her people— no storm, moral or political, has ever purified her moral at- mosphere, and dug her from the deep abyss of superstition, ignorance and vice, in which she had so long wallowed. At the present day, as from time immemorial, the female sex is degraded almost to a level with the brutes, that perish and are forgotten. In consequence of their settled habits of squeamish fastidiousness, a woman of the more'elevated classes would no more think of being seen in the streets of one of their villages or cities, than a lady of Boston or New York would in the lowest grogeries, chatting with the vul- gar votaries of the rum bottle. When they find it neces- sary to go abroad, they are conveyed in a closed carriage. The lower classes, or those who are literally slaves to their husbands, enjoy a little more freedom; and while the lordly husband is perhaps amusing himself at home, the miserable wife may be seen engaged in the most laborious occupations, perhaps with an infant on her back. Sometimes they are compelled to drag the ylough or harrow, while the husband casts the seed into the earth. She is by no means esteemed as a companion, as appears from the fact that she eats at a separate table, sits in her separate apartment, and waits submissive the will of her lord. Among the middle classes their accomplishments and occupations consist in weaving embroidering and painting. A little knowledge of music THE CHINESE CUSTOMS. 33 and dancing, constitutes the education of the highest circles of female society. Their custom of compressing the feet, is well known. A lady's foot of full size, is about four inches long, among these people, including the great toe, which is permitted to enjoy its natural growth—and about one and a half inches in width, forming a perfect "clump foot." But such is the fashion ; and no matter how much pain it costs, ladies of fashion and quality must submit. The Chinese consider a woman without a foot, a perfect beauty; and they are not half so unreasonable as our American ladies—who regard themselves as beauty per- sonified, if they are destitute of a waist ! Compression of the feet only injures a comparatively unimportant por- . tion of the system, the extremities, except by sympathy— but compression of the waist and thorax, injures a vital part, and in thousands of instances, causes premature death ! The ladies of Tartary do not conform to this barbarously delicate custom of cramping the feet; and in other respects, they enjoy more freedom than their more fashionable sisters of Southern China. In the Chinese Empire, the wife is sold at her marriage, and is not permitted to raise her voice in a matter, which to her, of all others, is most important. She is sold by her pa- rents or guardians to the highest bidder, as cattle are sold at auction or vendue. The cold-hearted purchaser, often- times, knows as little of her physical and moral qualities, as our western land speculators do of their locations five hundred miles in the wilderness.' He buys her as he would a horse, on the recommendation of the seller, with the priv- ilege of annulling the contract if she does not answer the description. After the bargain is concluded, she is packed into a closed carriage and "forwarded on" to the residence of the purchaser or vendue, and the key of the carriage is given to him for the purpose of enabling him to open it, as he would the cage of some wild animal, or a trunk that con- tained a few articles of clothing. On opening the door, should he fancy that he had cause for dissatisfaction with his purchase, he can post her back in disgrace to her friends —but, singular indeed, he forfeits the purchase-money. Mutual affection, under such an administration of affairs, can hardly be supposed to exist. What little does exist is mere animal passion alone ; indeed, the apparently respectful and comparatively ardent attachment of many animals, ought to eriSi their cheeks with the blush of shame. So passive 2* 34* HISTORY of marriage. are the feelings and condition of the wife, and so little estima- tion does she place upon the regard and affection of her hus- band, that she is entirely relieved from the sensations of jeal- ousy when other wives are introduced to the honors of the house of which she might previously have been sole mistress. She is perfectly content if she can be regarded as the first fe- male of the family, and have all the children call her mother. The marriage ceremony consists merely in the formal delivery of the newly purchased article. Among those of rank and wealth, widows seldom marry a second time, (probably not having formed a very exalted idea of the marriage relation); but the parents and friends of the poor usually sell them again for the sake of the purchase-money. After the husband has received his wife, or after the mar- riage, as it is falsely called, he conducts the bride to his pa- rents, before whom they both prostratethemselves in token of pro- found submission. They then eat together, and drink from the same cup. An entertainment is then given to the attend- ants, the males and females being in separate rooms, often at a great expense. The next day, perhaps, the huaband sends his young wife into the fields to perform the most menial tasks that can be imposed. Such is marriage among the Chinese, and such the unenviable condition of nearly one fourth of the wives on the globe. Almost every man is married as soon as he is of proper age. The first is the legal wife, after whom he may have as many concubines as he has ability to maintain. He cannot degarde the first wife to the condition of an inferior, un- der the penalty of one hundred blows ; nor raise the inferior to the first rank under the penalty of ninety. If the wife com- mit adultery, he is bound to put her away ; but if he divorce her without good cause, he is punished with eighty blows But almost anything is a » good cause;" she may be divorc- ed for barrenness, lasciviousness, disregard of the lordly hus- band's parents, great talkativeness, thievishnses, &c. &c • but not for any of these causes, if she has mourned three years for her husband's parents, or if her husband has become rich since their marriage, or if her parents are dead. If the wife leaves her husband, he is permitted to treat her as a slave Magistrates cannot marry in the province where theyp-overn ' As might reasonably be expected, licentiousness abounds throughout the nation. We could hardly expect a diffbren state of things, where the wife is sold at her marriao-e and is not permitted to raise her voice in a matter which °to her is of all others the most important. How could it be other plurality of wives. 35 wise, where, for a few paltry dollars, the fate of the defence- less female may be hopelessly linked with a man whom of all others, perhaps, she most heartily loathes and abhors. In China, by authority of law, she may be compelled to endure the conjugal relation with one whose very presence she de- tests as she would the putrid and decaying body to which St. Paul alludes in illustration of man's moral depravity. The emperor has his wives classified: one wife No. 1, two wives No. 2, and six wives No. 3, with one hundred concu- bines, and he is styled " the father of the nation." The children of all his wives are regarded as of the blood royal; but the children, or rather a son, of No. 1. usually succeeds the father to the throne. At the death of the emperor, the wo- men are, for the rest of their lives, immured within a building called the " Palace of Chastity." This is but a feeble description of some of the fruits and in- fluences of polygamy, or a plurality of wives, among the Chi- nese. But wherever the pure spirit of Christianity prevails, this despicable practice has been abolished, and the primitive law of our Creator has been established. Then who can doubt the deep debt of gratitude which our fair countrywomen owe to the prevalence of its doctrines. When we learn that among the heathen nations, minds like those of Plato and Euripides, refined and cultivated by the discipline of the schools, possess- in<>- an ample acquaintance with all the learning and philoso- phy of their day, upheld and advocated the degradation of wo- man, by countenancing polygamy, who can long hesitate m deciding the importance of our holy religion in the elevation of the female sex in society ? It is a truth of no little importance to woman, that her comparatively exalted position and restora- tion to her proper dignity, are bounded by the influence ot the religion of Jesus. Let her understand that man, in his natu- ral "character, unrestrained by a Saviour's love, perpetually seeks the degradation and abasement of the fema e mind ; and if there is any thing in his history which stains his soul with blackness, and marks his footsteps with crime and blood and v. Inch ought to " make him blush and hang his head to think aimself a man," it is the deep and foul indignity which he.has offered to the gentler and more refined half of our race. Where religious influence is unknown and unfelt, man may soundly repose upon his royal bed, "And drink with relish from a cup of gold," but the gentler and weaker sex must be converted into mere 36 HlSrORY OF MARRIAGE. instruments of physical pleasure, and be compelled basely to cower before his caprice and tyranny. In Corea, a dependency of China, the sex is treated with rather more humanity than in China proper. They are under less restraint, and can have some discretion in the selection of a husband. The ceremony of courtship is a very singular one. The lady starts off, followed by her lover : If she allows him to catch her in the loving race, it implies her consent to become his bride; if not willing to marry him, she takes the necessary steps to keep out of his way. Bordering upon China, is the Burman Empire, containing a population of some 17,000,000 of souls. Here we find a strange mixture of respect and contempt for the female sex.— She is not, as in most of the oriental nations, shut up as it were within the walls of a prison, and surrounded by guards ; but she is allowed unrestrained intercourse with the world, not even excepting foreigners. The consequence has been such as might well teach their neighboring nations a lesson of im- portance. The female is chaste—respects herself, and com- mands the respect of all with whom she mingles. She is very far, however, even here, from enjoying all those rights to which she is justly entitled. I believe there are no laws in Burmah against prostitution ; and many a female is sold for the debts of her husband or father, and compelled to lead a life of shame. Men sell their wives and daughters to foreign- ers, and regard it as no disgrace. They are never allowed, however, to leave the country. Marriages are not contracted in infancy, as in some other countries, by the parents and guardians of the parties; but when a man desires to make propositions for matrimony to a lady, he sends his mother or some female friend to commence the negotiation in private; when, if she is disposed to second his advances, a party of his friends proceed to the residence of the intended wife, and su- perintend the adjustment of the marriage portion. On the morning of the wedding day, the bridegroom sends his bride various articles of ornament, dress, and jewelry, according to his rank and ability. The parents of the bride prepare a sump- tuous feast. They eat from the same dish; present each other with pickled tea, and the ceremony is closed. The law prohi- bits polygamy ; but a man may have as many concubines as his circumstances will afford. The religion of the Hindoos strongly enjoins the duty of marriage, but does not approve the marriage of the younger children in advance of the elder. Among them, marriage is THE bucharians. 37 usually consummated at the age of eleven years, or thereabouts; or as soon thereafter as the parties arrive at puberty. The marriages are celebrated with no inconsiderable degree of ex- pense, parade, and circumstance; the conclusion of the whole of which is, by the bride's taking seven steps. In the evening, the bridegroom shows his bride the polar star, as an emblem of stability and fidelity. The young married couple remain at the house of the bride's father for three days, when, with much ceremony, they repair to their future home. A barber liberates a cow, which has been tied in the northern side of the apartment, and vehemently cries, " the cow ! the cow!!" Instead of receiving a dower with the wife, as is very common in many countries, the husband bestows presents upon the fa- ther, often to a liberal extent—a sort of refinement upon the practice of purchasing a wife. Polygamy is permitted, but not often practiced. Bucharia is an extensive country in the north of Asia, which has very little intercourse with the western part of the hemi- sphere. This country was once invaded by Zengis, the empe- ror of the Moguls, who slew 16,000 Moslem Buchars in a single battle. From what we can learn of this miserable and barbarous people, we are inclined to believe that real genuine affection between the sexes, is rarely known to exist. Fathers sell their daughters into perpetual bondage; and husbands not unfrequently sell their wives into slavery at pleasure. The mock forms of law forbid polygamy, but it is very generally practised. Dollars and cents are considered the quid pio quo that will secure a wife; and, consequently, the young man purchases of the unnatural and brutal father, the object of his pretended regard. After the marriage contract is consumma- ted and signed, the betrothed couple are not permitted to see each other until the marriage ceremony, if so it may be called, is administered, and they made husband and wife. Yet they are regarded as rather a polite and accomplished people, and the women, with all their degradation, possess all the vanity of the sex in Christian lands. On the coast of Malabar, in the west of Hindostan, is a class of people who practice the most unnatural and revolting cus- tom of one woman's having a plurality of husbands. They are a martial people, and possess a good deal of the spirit of knight errantry ; insomuch, that their tournaments frequently end in blood. Each woman has as many husbands as suits her disposition ; they are not exactly tenants in common in re- gard to her favor; but each enjoys her attentions exclusively at 33 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. stated periods, or at her pleasure ; and no one is allowed to en- ter her apartment while the arms of a copartner in domestic affairs are over the door. She resides at the domicil of her friends, and when she becomes the mother of children, she no- minates a father in each case, or for each child, and he is bound to maintain it. This practice has given the impression that they indulge in promiscuous intercourse ; and, indeed, what is it but promiscuous intercourse of a most humiliating character, regulated by the statutes of the land ? The dress, or wearing apparel, of the woman consists of a loose piece of muslin encircling the waist. But they wear a profusion of jewelry, consisting of rings and chains of gold and silver, and possess a much greater degree of independ- ence, and are under less restraint, than is common among Pa- gan nations. The Abyssinian nation is one of the most barbarous on earth, and probably places the slightest estimation of any upon the matrimonial relations. The contract is broken by either party at pleasure. Indeed, so utterly destitute are they of any pro- per notions regarding this institution, that one traveller consi- ders marriage as*scarcely existing at all among them, so great is the ea.se with which the contract may be formed and dissolv- ed. The lover consults only the pirents of the bride, and hav- ing obtained their favor to the enterprise, forcibly seizes her and carries her home on his shoulders, as a butcher would a shank of mutton. Sonetimes, a little more formality is ob- served; the parties attending church for two or three weeks, and partaking of the sacrament together. One traveller relates that he met a lady of aristocratic rank at Gondar, in company with six men, who had successively been her husbands. No- thing is more common than polygamy in Abyssinia ; though a great pre eminence is allowed to one wife, and the rest are considered merely as concubines. This people exhibit indica- tions of most beastly degradation, and the deepest barbarism. None of the savage tribes of the earth are characterised by hi- bits more gross and revolting than have been witnessed among the Abyssinians. The coarsest obscenity and indecen- cies are common at their feasts ; such, indeed, that the bare report of them, came very near having brought discredit upon one of our most eminent travellers, but whose testimony upon the point has since been fully confirmed by the uniform reports of others. In Barbary, a man may have four wives, and as many con- cubines as suits his inclination. He can divorce a wife for THJ> harem. 39 various causes, and she enjoys the same privilege, if he does not provide for her, or if he curses her more than twice. Pure affection has but little influence in the formation of their mat- rimonial engagements. The preliminary negociations are conducted wholly by the parents, and very often the parties do not see each other until they are married. The husband makes a sort of marriage settlement upon the wife, and if she brings property to his use at the time of the marriage, he is not at liberty to squander it for his own benefit; a humane and liberal provision, which is sometimes found of consequence among more enlightened nations. Several days, previous to the celebration of the conjugal rites, are devoted by both par- ties to festivity and mirth, without seeing each other. On the wedding day, the bride is carried to the husband's house, at- tended with music, torches and the firing of musketry. When s^he enters the door, she exercises extraordinary caution not to touch the threshold. She covers her eyes with her hands: he is now introduced to her and speaks to her, perhaps for the first time in his life. Tfieir friends then indulge for several days in feasts and entertainments, corresponding to their rank and wealth. Many of the females, according to the invaria- ble Mahometan custom, are strictly excluded from general so- ciety, and must see none of the male sex except their husbands ; they are immured like slaves in the apartments of the harem. Mr, Murray, in his " Encyclopedia of Geography,'" says that " the harem, the favorite and almost sole seat of Oriental luxu- ry, is, of course, inaccessible, and can only through some pe- culiar chance be seen by Europeans. Lempriere, however, in his character as a physician, was admitted into that of the Emperor of Morocco. It consisted of a wing of the palace, entirely separated from the rest, and communicating only by a private door, of which the Emperor had the key. The edifice was divided into a number of courts, communicating by nar- row passages, round which were ranged the apartments of the wives and concubines, who were from sixty to a hundred in number, besides their domestics and slaves. There was a principal sultana, who had a general superintendence over the establishment, but enjoyed not the same influence with the Emperor as some of the younger favorites. There were sev- eral European captives, who appeared to the traveller the chief ornament of the harem, both as to personal and mental accom- plishments." Among this people, there are very few of those artificial dis- tinctions so common in American and European society. The 40 history of marriage. dignitaries of the land scarcely regard themselves as superior to°he laboring classes—a fact none too often observable even in republican America. The Governor of a town, among the inhabitants of Barbary, considers it no degradation to give the hand of his favorite daughter to a common mechanic. Still the females are in a degraded condition, and rather the slaves than the companions of their husbands. They are compelled to the performance of every species of drudgery, for the relief of those miserable beings whom they are taught to regard as their superiors. They are said to possess as delicate and charming personal accomplishments as the ladies of the United States. In Caffraria, the female has still less influence and authority in the selection of a husband, than in Barbary. The negocia- tion is carried on exclusively between the young man seeking a wife, and the parents of her whose hand he solicits in mar- riage. Her acquiescence is not sought for a moment—but she* is taught to regard herself as the absolute property of her fa- ther, and makes no calculation but to accept the hand of the man who makes the purchase. As an equivalent for hia daughter who has long graced the domestic circle, and who would perhaps prefer death to a separation from the fireside of her childhood, he has the cold and more than brutal want of affection to accept an ox or a couple of cows ! One good result, however, follows even this savage and unfeeling cus- tom—it prevents polygamy to any considerable extent among the common people; for they cannot readily command the means to secure its indulgence. The ceremonials of marriage are similar to those of Barbary. The women are described as of a lively and agreeable disposition, and never troubled with sadness and melancholy except when dancing! In the kingdom of Dahomy, where it is said the religion consists of an indescribable mass of superstitionj we behold the same melancholy and sickening picture. The female is de- graded to a level with the brutes of the field, and performs all or nearly all the manual labor; while her more than brutal husband, whose chief delight should be to protect and defend her, is usually yawning upon "the downy beds of ease." Here, however, her approbation is usually sought before she is led to the matrimonial altar. She may be divorced at pleas- ure, but she also enjoys the liberty of leaving her lord at any time and taking another husband. In short, matrimony amounts to just nothing at all, except downright mockery Polygamy is sanctioned by law, while adultery is punishable THE KINGDOM OF DAHOMY. 41 by death ! not that they place so high an estimate upon fe- male chastity, hut*, probably, because they place so low an es- timate upon human life. The wife is considered so far be- neath her husband, that.she must never eat in his august pre- sence ! She must kneel whenever she presents him with any- thing, and rise only with his most sovereign permission. The legal allowance of wives for the king, is somewhere in the neighborhood of three thousand, selected from the fairest dam- sels in all his dominions. They are mere slaves, and on any capricious disgust, are treated with the most painful cruelty, and are often put to death! All the female sex is considered at his absolute disposal, and an annual assemblage of all the beautiful of the land takes place, from which he makes his se- lection and distributes the refuse among his grandees, who are bound to receive them with the humblest gratitude. This demon incarnate ornaments the favorite apartments of his palaces and temples, with human skulls—most beautiful trappings with which to amuse a delicate and sensitive young lady! The reader may have queried, whether the form and char- acter of a government may not exert a powerful influence over the feeling and conduct of men, especially in regard to the do- mestic relations 1 I think there can be little doubt that this is the case generally. Where the rights of all are respected and protected, (and this is the object of government,) we find the fe- male sex occupying a position, correspondingly more elevated than in those political divisions ruled by tyrants and despots. The kingdom of Dahomy is perhaps one of the most, if not the most complete despotism in the world. The persons as well as possessions of all ranks, are regarded as the absolute property of the king whenever his most sovereign kingship is pleased to require them. On entering his palace, the highest functionaries of state crawl on their hands and knees, and in his royal presence, rub their heads in the dust. They remain in this abject and humiliating posture until they are ready to leave the royal apartments. The king seems to regard himself as the vicegerent of God Omnipotent on the earth—and his miserable degraded subjects seem to cheerfully endorse the heaven-daring blasphemy. When men feel themselves degraded by inferiority of rank, as do the subjects of this sovereign—and when they are educated to attach so much importance to "a little brief author- ity," it is not wonderful that they should desire to strut forth in its enjoyment—they desire to exercise that absolute con- trol over such as they may fancy their inferiors, which is daily exercised over themselves. They indulge this ar- 42 HISTORf OF MARRIAGE. tificial educated thirst for power, by reducing woman to a state of subordination, because they have the physical ability to level her at pleasure. We have said that woman owes her elevation to the religion of the Bible. We repeat it— this religion modifies the governments of the world—brings kings and crowned heads dow"h to a level with other mortals— points dying men to the dust whence they were taken and whither they are tending—and summons the soul to appear on one great day, before the grand assizes of heaven, where the costume of earthly sovereigns is disregarded—where robes of royalty are cast aside. It teaches men, therefore, not to violate the sacred rights of others, and removes those influences which tend to the cultivation of a domineering disposition over those whose welfare they should seek to promote. In short, the precepts of religion are safe maxims upon which to base all human government, and which invariably secure permanenee, refinement and happiness. And, under such government, woman cannot fail to command that regard to which she is entitled. In most of the kingdoms of Africa, scarcely another stain of depravity could be added to the female character. They are real transcendentalists in all that is corrupting, loathsome, degraded. It is hardly possible that they can take one more step in their downward career. Yet many of the nations of this quarter of the globe, have as much national pride as the ce- lestial empire herself. This is especially true of Congo, where the inhabitants believe the earth, (except Congo,) to have been made by angels—but their own country, they believe, is the work of God himself. Yet with all their lofty pretensions, they have not learned the first lesson upon the subject of hu- man rights. Polygamy and promiscuous intercourse are in- dulged to a most humiliating extent. The chief has many wives, whom he makes the victims of the most scandalous traf- fic ; frequently tendering their favors to Europeans, at a very trifling rate. In Central Africa the picture is no more pleasing to the eyo - of the philanthropist. Females seem to be regarded as the property of the sovereigns. For instance, in Wawa, the pomp of the sovereign consists chiefly in the multitude of his wives__ and one writer says "it was the boast of the king of Eyeo, that his queens, linked hand in hand, would reach from one end of the kingdom to the other." These ladies, however are in a very different situation from that which in Europe is suggested by the word queen: slave would be the more appropriate so AFRICAN NOTIONS. 43 grovelling are the services of every description exacted from them. They act as body guards, perform the most menial of- fices, and are seen in every part of the kingdom, carrying on their heads heavy burdens from place to place, favored only with an exemption from tolls. I am inclined, before closing what I have to say in relation to the social degradation and humiliating customs in Africa, to introduce a few extracts from the pen of Robert Moffat, who spent twenty-three years in that dark quarter of the world as agent for the London Missionary Society. They will give some general idea of African notions upon this institution, as well as the influence of the Gospel in the elevation of female character, when once received ; especially when we consider the tenacity with which that people are inclined to adhere to established customs. After speaking of the ceremonies of circumcision and boyali, to which they are strongly attached, the author says, "After these tedious ceremonies are over, the youth appears lubricated, assuming the character and wearing the dress of a man, while he is considered able to bear the shield and wield the javelin. The girls also, when they have gone the round of weeks, drilling, dancing, singing, and listening to the precepts of the grave old women, have a piece of iron rather hot put into their hands, which they must hold fast for a time, though painful, to show that their hands are hard and strong for labor. They are then anointed, and, having put on the usual female dress, the lower part of their hair is shaven off, and the upper part pro- fusely bedaubed with a paste of butter and sebilo, black shin- ing ochre. Raised thus from comparative infancy to what they consider womanhood, they view themselves with as much complacency as if they were enrobed in the attire of the daugh- ter of an eastern potentate. They have reached nearly to a climax in their life, for they expect soon to be married, and to be a mother they consider the chief end of a woman's exist- ence. These ceremonies were prodigious barriers to the Gos- pel. Polygamy was another obstacle, and the Bochuanas, jealous of any diminution in their self-indulgence, by be- ing deprived of the services of their wives, looked with an extremely suspicious eye on any innovation on this ancient custom. While going"to war, hunting, watching the cattle, milkin^ the cows, and preparing their furs and skins for mantle's, was the work of the men, the women had by far the heavier'task of agriculture, building the houses, fencing, 44 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. bringing firewood, and heavier than all, nature's charge, the rearing of a family. The greater part of the year they are constantly employed; and during the season of picking and sowing their gardens, their task is galling, living on a coarse scanty fare, and frequently having a babe fastened to their backs, while thus cultivating the ground. The men, for obvious reasons, found it convenient to have a number of such vassals, rather than only one, while the woman would be perfectly amazed at one's ignorance, were she to be told that she would be much happier in a single state, or widowhood, than being the mere concubine and drudge of a haughty husband, who spent the greater part of his life in lounging in the shade, while she was com- pelled, for his comfort as well as her own, to labor under the rays of an almost vertical sun, in a hot and withering climate. Their houses, which require considerable inge- nuity as well as hard labor, are entirely the work of the women, who are extremely thankful to carry home even the heavier timbers, if their husbands will take their axes and fell them in the thicket, which may be many miles dis- tant. The centre of the conical roof will, in many houses, be eighteen feet high, and it requires no little scrambling, in the absence of ladders, for females to climb such a height; but the men pass and repass, and look on with the most perfect indifference, while it never enters their heads that their wife, their daughter, or their mother may fall and break a leg or neck. These houses, though temporary, and requiring great labor to keep them constantly in repair, are nevertheless well adapted to the climate. ********* While standing near the wife of one of the grandees, who, with some female companions was building a house, and making preparations to scramble by means of a branch on to the roof, 1 remarked that they ought to get their hus- bands to do that partof the work. This set them all into a roar of laughter, Mahutto, the queen, and several of the men, drawing near to ascertain the cause of the merriment, the wives repeated my strange, and, to them, ludicrous pro- posal, when another peal of mirth ensued. Mahutto, who was a sensible and shrewd woman, stated that the plan, though hopeless, was a good one, and she often thought our custom was much better than theirs. It was reasonable that woman should attend to household affairs, and the CEREMONIES OF THE BOCHUANA's. 45 lighter parts of labor, while man, wont to boast of his supe- rior strength, should employ his energy in more laborious occupations ; adding, she wished I would give their hus- bands medicine to make them do the work. ********* The persons of the people, as well as their possessions, were the property of their monarch. His word was law, and he had only to lift his finger or give a frown, and his greatest nobles trembled in his presence. No one appeared to have a judgment of his own ; none dared negative an opinion breathed by his sovereign. When any were per- mitted to approach his person, they crouched softly, mut- tering his great names. Messengers from the distant out stations of his dominions were constantly arriving. These laid down their shields and spears at a distance, approached, and then kneeled about thirty yards from his royal person; and when it was his pleasure to receive the communication, it was conveyed by one of his chiefs in waiting. Some of these brought the news of the attack of lions on some p;irts of his distant herds, but no one presumed to be the reporter without bringing the head and paws of the animal which had dared to assail the possession of its mighty namesake. ********* Among numerous examples of the power of Divine grace, it ought to be particularly noticed, that Polygamy, that formidable barrier to the success of the Gospel among barbarous nations, has in numerous instances given way to the principle sanctioned by Christianity. Submission to this law is the severest test to which a savage can be sub- jected. When we see a man, for conscience' sake, parting with one or more favorite wives, can we deny him the credit of sincerity 1 can we demand a more satisfactory de- monstration of the reality of the change ? Among the con- verts at Griqua Town was a Mosutu, who had ten wives, and he cheerfully parted with nine in obedience to the re- quirements of the Gospel. I believe all the missionaries among the Bochuanas are unanimous in the opinion, that not only an elder,- but every member of the church, ought to be " the husband of one wife ;" and that the first wife should be considered as having the rightful claim, unless she voluntarily renounces it, which has sometimes been done. Of course it is understood that such are provided for by the husband as long as they continue unmarried." 46 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. As to the customs of the Europeans regarding the institu- tion of matrimony, perhaps little can be said which would interest the reader. Most of these countries have enjoyed the light of the Gospel, and have to a greater or less extent, been influenced by its doctrines. Among them, of course, woman is elevated far above that degraded position to which she is doomed in those dark portions of the world where the banner of the Saviour has not been unfurled. Their customs of course vary according to their respective pecu- liarities of the prevailing religion; differing but little from the ceremonies usually adopted in the United States. In general, however, especially among the nations of Southern Europe, the female is not held in that high estimation which she commands among us—her position being graduated by the degree of refinement in each case which characterises the people. In Europe, perhaps no country pays less deference to the rights of woman than Spain. Among this people, until married, she lives a secluded life; and among no civilized nation is she allowed less familiarity with the other sex. But, as soon as married, every man seems to consider her as his lawful property, if he can but win her favor. Matri- mony is contracted, generally, as a matter of convenience and pecuniary profit, and not on account of any extraordi- nary attachment existing between the parties. It is said, that here almost every woman has her lover, and the jeal- ousy of the husband is seldom excited to anger. Probably the laws are as strict in Europe, which are en- acted for the enforcement of the rights of the parties, as they are among ourselves ; but they are disregarded in a gieater degree, because not sustained by the voice of the people and the general sense of the populace ; they are measurably rendered void by custom, as in France, Italy, and Spain Where men are jealous of their wives, intrigue and secrecy are brought to bear for the purposes of evading any penalty that may have been incurred; as in Portugal, Russia, and Austria But in Great Britain, Germany, Norway and Switzerland, I believe the morals of the people will suffer httle in comparison with the condition of society among us. In the latter countries, theoretically, woman takes a respect- able rank in the scale of social existence. P The customs of the nations of America, the United States excepted, and the recognised relative rights of the partfe! SOUTH AMER CAN customs. 47 in wedlock, are, in many respects, similar to the degraded portions of the Old World. Yet, in some respects, they are widely dissimilar. The females are virtually degraded to nearly the same level with those of the Old World ; but, at the same time, there is less of apparent humiliation and slavery. The philosophy of this degradation is the same on the Western as on the Eastern continent—particularly in Asia and Africa. It is profound ignorance of man's high and noble destiny—or a wild and false theory of religion, which degrades rather than exalts the soul. The only dif- ference that exists is attributable to the circumstance, that while the countless millions of the Eastern world are tram- pled to the dust by the tyranny of despots, the tribes of America enjoy a higher degree of political freedom. Where there is no despotism, there can be no slavery; in other words, where the people enjoy that political freedom to which all the human family are entitled, slavery will be a stranger. Of the nations of the New World, we will notice a few. In South America, there is the nation of the Araucanians, who can boast of never having submitted to a foreign yoke. They occupy an extensive territory, which interposes itself between the Spanish districts of Conception and Valdivia, stretching north and south about three degrees of latitude, reaching inland to the mountains. It is described by Mr. Stephens as one of the finest portions of South America. The religious notions of this people consist in a belief of the existence of God ; in the immortality of the soul ; in future rewards and punishments ; in good and evil spirits. They have also a tradition of the ancient general deluge. Theirs is indeed the romance of religion. They believe that marriage is virtually for this life and the life to come; that in a future state, the wife returns to her husband to dwell for ever by his side, and live in perpetual re-union. One would naturally suppose that such ideas would render them exceedingly cautious in their matrimonial engage- ments • yet I am not able to learn that such is the fact. They believe their attachments are to stretch onward beyond the darkness of death; and so the animosities of this world are to characterize them in the world to come. In the fury of the storm, and in the violence of the tempest, by their eye of religious faith they behold the terrible conflict of con- tending hosts in the spiritual world. In the mighty thun- 48 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. der, they hear the roar of their tremendous artillery, and in its rolling echoes, the martial music of their drums; in the lightning's terrific blaze, they see the flash of the Spanish gun ; in the flying clouds are seen the solemn and majestic evolutions and manoeuvres of the spiritual troops. When the storm-clouds move towards the territory of their ene- mies, they believe their friends are victorious in battle ; but when the clouds do not move in that diection, they regard their friends as vanquished, and their enemies triumphant. They have no idols, and seldom offer sacrifices. Of course they are a superstitious people; yet they have ever main- tained a high rank among the savage nations. The females are remarkable for their cleanliness, and the modesty and simplicity of their attire. Perhaps no savage nation equals them in this respect. After suitable age for marriage, celibacy is held to be highly disgraceful. Polygamy is very common among this people—every man having as many wives as his circum- stances will permit. The odious and detestable practice of buying and selling the wife, exists here, although in rather a mild form—for the husband is expected to pay a dowry to the father of each woman whom he takes in marriage. The consummation of the courtship is always attended with a show of violence ; for even after consent has been ob- tained, and all the preliminaries have been settled, the bridegroom and his friends conceal themselves where the bride is expected to pass, and when she makes her appear- ance, she is forcibly seized and placed on a horse behind her intended husband, who, in spite of her pretended resist- ance, and counterfeit struggles and shrieks, conveys her to his home, where her relations are assembled to receive the dowry and share the nuptial feast. We have said that polygamy prevails among this people. This is especially prevalent among the chiefs and those be- longing to the aristocracy. The first wife is always supe- rior to the rest, who are rather the domestics of the family. At supper, the husband selects his partner for the night by desiring her to prepare his bed. The others sleep in the same apartment, who are watched with considerable jeal- ousy. Each wife has a separate kitchen, and daily prepares a dish for her husband. They compound the habits of the savage with some evidences of cultivation and refinement. But with all this mixture, the husband' and fathers have THE NATIVE BRAZILIANS. 49 power over the lives of their wives and daughters; and all the hard work of the fields, such as plowing, sowing, and reaping, devolves upon the females. Their population numbers about 400,000 souls. The native Brazilians have been represented as almost destitute of ideas of any religion, almost without govern- ment. They have vague and indefinite notions of some su- perior power, and of a future state. Although peaceful among themselves, they are desperate in battle, and gener- ally feast upon the bodies of their slaughtered enemies. The female is perhaps less degraded than is usual among heathen nations. Yet they are considered as much inferior to man, and perform most of the manual labor. Both sexes formerly went naked; yet travelers have declared that they saw no improprieties in their conduct otherwise, and that they are far from being a dissolute people. We here find another proof, that freedom from restraint in nowise con- tributes to the impurity of woman, or .to her want of chas- tity ; for the female of Brazil is the untrammeled judge of her own conduct, and nature in its rudest, blindest state, seems quite competent to secure that which walls, and locks, and bars, have never done. Polygamy is practised by the chiefs and nobles of the country, and marriage may be dissolved at pleasure. To be eligible to the married state, according to their theories, a man must, have taken a captive in war and given him to the tribe to be devoured— though we have a right to believe that: this pre-requisite is not always required. Captives are often kept a long time before being put to death, treated with the utmost kindness, and often permitted to marry the nearest kindred of the captors. But when the dreadful day arrives and the fatal tiour comes, mutual defiances are exchanged between the captive and his executioner—until finally he is killed with a club, and eaten with great rejoicing. Some have ex- pressed admiration of the savage character—what say they to such pictures of human depravity 1 The population of Brazil is estimated at about five millions. The nations of Buenos Ayres, who have never been sub- dued, are similar in their social habits and customs to the Brazilians. They seldom wear clothing, though they are, like other savage nations, extremely fond of ornaments. They guard with great strictness and severity their domes- tic rights, and exhibit no inconsiderable'degree of jealousy. 50 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE- Adultery is punishable with death! When twins are born, one of them is destroyed ; and when the mother dies, they adopt the cruel and inhuman practice of burying with her the living infant. Even those who have been conquered and taken captives, and after they are enslaved, are said to be chaste except when they join in large entertainments sea- soned with strong drink. Then all the ties of relationship and conjugality are disregarded and forgotten, and general and indiscriminate commerce is suffered with shameless im- punity. The institution of Matrimony is recognised by all the tribes of North America. But their particular views of the subject are as widely diverse from each other as their re- spective habits. Some countenance polygamy, while others do not—some consider marriage a sacred union for life, while others indulge its dissolution at pleasure. The peo- ple of Cailfornia, for instance, have no ideas of the obliga- tions imposed by this union, and recognize none. They pay very little regard to chastity—the men often staking their favors as prizes and wagers at their games. The females are slaves, and are compelled to perform all the drudgery of manual labor in times of peace and war, except the ac- tual encounter of battle. The Greenlanders, it is said, pay some little regard to the affections in their matrimonial alliances. In the negocia- tions, the parents never or rarely interfere—the lover thinks but little of a dowry with his wife. If she will make a good, kind, affectionate, and obedient wife, his highest an- ticipations are fully realized, and he has all he desires. About the time of the celebration of the nuptials, the bride pretends to be opposed to the marriage, runs away, screams, and is finally taken home by force, by the bridegroom, which constitutes the sum total of the marriage ceremony. Polygamy is occasionally practised, and divorce is exceed- ingly common. In the frozen regions of the north, the inhabitants are but little under the influence of the amative propensities, and while they have perhaps sufficient passion to give them some interest in the domestic relations, they are in a great measure free from the influence of that refined delicacy ob- servable among people of warmer desires. In Greenland, the family all sleep in the same room—the married people under the benchea-and the unmarried upon them—but not- NORTH AMERICAN CUSTOMS. 51 withstanding this familiarity, the conduct of the sexes to- wards each other is characterised by the most perfect deco- rum. The wife of one of our missionaries being obliged to stay some time in an Esquimaux hut, could not overcome all her notions of propriety, and sleep with such a promis- cuous assembly, but actually sat up three successive nights, holding her child in her lap—while the natives could not understand the indelicacy and impropriety in the whole fa- mily's lying down naked together. Captain Parry found a tribe on the western coast of Baf- fin's Bay, where the female sex seemed to have no ideas of shame whatever—though not the slightest intimation is re- corded against their chastity. These females went on board the boats of the travelers, and " such was their insensibility to ordinary decency, that on the least hint from any of the sailors, they would slip off their dress, and expose them- selves in a state of nudity without any appearance of shame or confusion." The preservation of chastity among such a degraded and abandoned race of the weaker sex, would be almost a miracle. If they were virtuous, it could not be on account oftheir peculiar customs, and particularly their freedom from restraint. They could see no impropriety in the most shameful indecencies; and when tempted by pre- sents or their desires to please, they had no modesty to overcome, or virtue to enable them successfully to engage in the combat. And the mind can scarcely conceive of virtuous action where there is no temptation to resist. It may not be uninteresting to the reader to learn some- thing of the customs and ceremonies of marriage among the North American Indians. With all their rudeness and want of cultivation, there is no tribe among them destitute of some notions of this institution. For the amusement and benefit of the reader upon the subject of marriage among aboriginal inhabitants of this country, I will quote an arti- cle entire from Mc'Intosh's Book of Indians. He says, " they generally are contented with one wife ; they some- times take two, and seldom more than three. The women are under the direction of their fathers in the choice of a husband, and very seldom express a predilection for any particular person. Their courtship is short and simple. The lover makes a present, generally of game, to the head of that family to v/hich belongs the woman he fancies. Her guardian's approbation beingobtait ed, an approbation which, 52 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. if the suitor is an expert hunter, is seldom refused, he next makes a present to the woman, and her acceptance of this signifies her consent. The contract is immediately made, and the match concluded. As soon as he chooses he is ad- mitted to cohabitation; but the time of the consummation is always a secret to every one but themselves. All this is transacted without ceremony, without even a feast. The husband generally carries his wife among his own relations, where he either returns to the tent which he formerly in- habited, or constructs a new one for their own use. They sometimes, but seldom, remain with the wife's relations. When the wife is removed, if the game be plentiful, he gives an entertainment to her relations. These contracts are binding no longer than both parties are willing. If they do not agree, they separate ; the wo- man returns to her relations, and, if they have any children, she takes them along with her ; but after they have chil- dren a separation very seldom takes place. If a woman be guilty of adultery, and her husband be unwilling to divorce her, he cuts her hair, which is the highest female disgrace. On the woman is devolved every domestic charge. She erects the tent, procures wood for the fire, manages the agricultural affairs, dresses the provisions, catches fish, and makes traps for small animals. The husband only employs himself in the chase. When a woman is with child, she works at her ordinary occupations, convinced that work is advantageous, both for herself and child; her labor is easy, and she may be seen on the day after her delivery with her child at her back, avoiding none of her former employments. They suckle their children till they are at least two years of age. Their cradle was anciently a board, to which they laced their children, after having wrapped them in furs, to preserve them in heat. This is set down in a corner, or hung up in the tent, and without loosening it from its cradle, the mother often takes it on her back, and in that manner carries it about. Among the Indians, widows cannot contract a second marriage without the consent of those on whom they de- pend, in virtue of the laws of widowhood. If they can find no husband for the widow, she finds herself under no diffi- culties ; if she has any sons of an age to support her, she may continue in a state of widowhood, without danger of ever wanting anything; if she is willing to marry again, she INDIAN CEREMONIES 53 may, and the man she marries becomes the father of her children ; he enters into all the rights and obligations of the first husband. The husband does not weep for his wife, because, accord- ing to the savages, tears do not become men ; but this is not general among all nations. The women weep for their husbands a year; they call him without ceasing, and fill their village with cries and lamentations, especially at the rising and setting of the sun, at noon, in some places; when they go out to work, and when they return. Mothers do much the same for their children. The chiefs mourn only six months, and may afterwards marry again. It appears that the Indians have their merriments on the marrriage occasions; although their celebrations go off com- monly without much ceremony. There are in all nations some considerable families, which cannot marry but among themselves, especially among the Algonquins. In general, the stability of marriage is sacred in this country, and for the most part they consider, as a great disorder, those agree- ments which some persons make to live together as long as they like, and to separate when they are tired of each other. A husband who should forsake his wife, without any law- ful cause, must expect many insults from her relations ; and a woman who should leave her husband without being forced to it by his ill-conduct, would pass her time still worse. Among the Miamis, the husband has a right to cut off his wife's nose if she runs away from him; but among the Iro- quois and Hurons, they may part by consent. This is done without noise, and the parties thus separated may marry again. They cannot even conceive that there can be any crime in this. . " My wife and I cannot agree together," said one of them to a missionary, who endeavored to make him comprehend the indecency of such a separation ; " my neighbor's case was the same, we changed wives and we were all happy; for nothing is more reasonable than to make each other happy, when it is so cheaply done with- out wrdnging anybody." Nevertheless, this custom, as we have already observed, is looked upon as an abuse, and is not ancient, at least among the Iroquois. Among some nations of the Indians, treaties of marriages are carried on by the parents alone. The parties interested do not appear at all; they give themselves up entirely to 54 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. the will of those on whom they depend ; however, the pa- rents come to no conclusion without the consent of those who are to be married. If a girl continues too long without being courted, her family generally contrive to find her a suitor. On this oc- casion they act with a great deal of precaution. In some places the women are not in haste to be married, because they are allowed to make trials of it when they can, and the ceremony of marriage only changes their condition for the worse. In general there is a great deal of modesty observed in the behaviour of the young people whilst they treat of their marriages; and they say it was quite otherwise in ancient times. But what is almost incredible, although it has been attested by good authors, is that in many places the new married couple are together a whole year living in perfect continence. This they do in order to show that they mar- ried for friendship, and not to gratify a sensual passion. A young woman they say would even be pointed at who should happen to be with child the first year of her mar- riage. After this, it will be easier to believe what is said of the behaviour of the young people during their courtship, in the places where they are allowed to see one another in private. For though custom allows them to hold very pri- vate meetings, yet, in the greatest danger that chastity can be exposed to, and even under the veil of night, they say, that nothing passes against the strictest rules of decorum, and that not even a word is spoken that can give the least offence to modesty. Although we have already alluded to the ceremonies of marriages, still, perhaps, it may not be improper to offer the following observations of a missionary who resided a long time amongst the Indians : " I find in all that has been writ- ten of the preliminaries and ceremonies of the marriages of these people, various accounts proceeding either from the different customs of divers nations, or from the little care the authors of relations took to be well informed. The in- tended husband must make presents, and in this, as in everything else, nothing can exceed the discretion with which he behaves, and the respectful behaviour which he shows to his future spouse. In some places the youno- man is contented to go and sit by the side of the young woman BIUDJ00S CEREMONIES. 55 in her cabin, and if she suffer it and continue in her place, it is taken for her consent, and the marriage is concluded. But in the midst of this deference and respect, he gives some tokens that he will soon be master. In fact, among the presents she receives, there are some which ought less to be regarded as marks of friendship, than as symbols and notices of the slavery to which she is going to be reduced; such are the collar, which is a long and broad band of leather which serves to draw burdens, the kettle and a btllet which are carried to her cabin. - This is to let her know, that she is to carry the burdens, dress the provisions, and get wood for firing. The custom is also in some places for her to bring beforehand into the cabin, where she is to dwell after marriage, all the wood that will be wanted next winter. Ajid it is to be observed, that in all I have just said, there is no difference between the nations where the women have all the authority, and those where they have nothing to do with the affairs of the government. These same women, who are in some degree the mistresses of the state, at least for form, and who make the principal body of it, when they have attained a certain age, and have chil- dren in a condition to make them respectable, are not at all respected before this, and are, in their domestic affairs, the slaves of their husbands." Our limits forbid anything beyond a brief notice of the customs of the people who inhabit the islands of the seas. And here we find the female, if possible, sunk to a still lower and more deplorable condition, than among the most de- graded nations of Asia and Africa. Among the Biudjoos of Borneo, a man seeking a wife, first consults the parents of the girl whom he wishes to marry. If he obtains their consent, he procures and carries to her suitable presents, according to his and her circumstances. He is not consid- ered eligible to the married state unless he has killed an enemy ; and if his wife dies, he cannot marry again unless he has killed another—thus making his eligibility depend upon his success in brutality, butchery, and murder! This is no very creditable commentary upon savage life. A man, before being regarded as qualified to protect his wife and cultivate the social and domestic affections and enjoy the sweets of connubial felicity, must have made his hands red in the blood of a fellow being! perhaps in the blood of innocence! 56 HISTORY of MARRIAGE. On the wedding day, after the parties have each given a feast, they wash their hands in blood! he in the blood of a cock, and she in the blood of a hen. They then present each other their bloody hands, and close the ceremony with another entertainment. Among this people polygamy is unknown. The husband can divorce the wife at pleasure, and not only keep all her clothes, &c, but he can also com. pel her to pay him a fine. When a woman commits adul- tery, the husband punishes the offence by putting to death two or three of his slaves, and scolds his wife. In some parts of Borneo, polygamy is countenanced, and adultery of the female punished with immediate strangulation. In the Canary isles, the natives manifest a delicacy in some respects toward the female, worthy of admiration— especially if we take into consideration their climate and its effects on the passions. ' The least imaginable impropri- ety in word or deed is severely punished. In Teneriffe, when a man meets a woman on the road or alone, he cannot speak to her, according to their customs, or scarcely look at her, but must turn out of the way till she has passed. This people does not recognise polygamy, but divorce is allowed on tolerably easy terms. Wives often accompany their husbands to the scenes of battle, where they carry off the wounded and dead, and take care of such as require their assistance. In harmony with their noble and magnanimous treatment (for savages) of the female sex, all their laws and customs are far in advance of most other savage nations. At the present time they have become amalgamated with, and their customs measurably modified by certain European nations. Familiar, and what would be termed by most na- tions, innocent intercourse between the sexes, is still con- sidered highly improper, and the modesty of women is car- ried to the very highest pitch of prudery. If a woman can prove that a man has made the least effort to win her affec- tions, he has no alternative but to marry her. But this is a foolish extreme that causes a very great number of un- happy matches. It places the sexes under too much re- straint for the proper cultivation of the social feelings and connubial enjoyment. The inhabitants of Condia were once celebrated for their love of liberty—they are now fallen so low in slavery and despotism, that a man cannot marry without the consent of the Aga; and even then, if this sixpenny despot please, he MOHAMEDANS CEREMONIES. 57 will take the bride from her new married husband to his own loathsome embrace. When he is tired of her, he com- pels some one of his cowering subjects to marry her. Such violations of all the proprieties of life, thank heaven, are only to be found on heathen ground—such revolting exhi- bitions of depravity are unknown in Christendom. The Mohamedans of Celebes depart from the general rules of their religion in their matrimonial affairs. A man may have four wives if he is able to support them. A traveler relates, that on the marriage of the children of two chiefs many presents were made—the bridegroom entered the town with twenty armed men—they were met by an- other company who commenced an attack which resulted in a sham battle—but gradually they retreated to the resi- dence of the bride's father. Entering the house victorious, he seated himself beside the bride, and the high priest per- formed the ceremony. From our information upon the subject of the negotiations preliminary to marriage, and the conduct usually mani- fested on such occasions by the female, we are inclined to believe that the desire to appear to be opposed to her lover when she is not, is nearly universal. The simple, plain, unvarnished truth is scarcely looked for in matters of this character. How natural it is for the modest lady to repulse the man who is seeking her favor—who would secure her affections. She strives to appear indifferent to his advances, and while her heart is almost consuming with the fires of its own affection, she struggles to darken her countenance with the cold look of scorn. Often she will coquette with others, especially if she is confident that she can do it with impunity, and that it will not be met with such decided disapproval as to rupture the bonds of friendship and love existino- between them, and cause a dissolution of the en- gagement. They seem anxious to sport in these affairs— and as the Indian will sometimes lash his victim to the tree, and throw his hatchet for the purpose of amusing himself in seeing how near he can come to the head of his captive without hitting it, so the flirting coquette will fire her little vexatious darts, to see, for her own amusement,.how near she can come to the point when her admirer will endure no longer, but sunder the tender ties that bind their hearts to- gether She sometimes carries the -joke quite too far, and loses forever, the man whom; perhaps, of all others she most 3* 58 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. adored. » No," is a word stereotyped upon a lady's tongue, and so common indeed is the manifestation of her dissimu- lation upon affairs of love, and that too, even in our own country, that it has from time out of mind been the settled maxim of the young man seeking a wife, when a lady says no, she means " yes." How much painful suspense might be avoided by uniformly telling the simple truth in affairs of the heart! The heart sickens at the dark picture of social degrada- tion in Ceylon. Promiscuous intercourse among the sexes is so common, that little or no disgrace attends it, even though the parties are engaged in the violation of the mar- riage relations, unless it be with one of an inferior rank in society—then, if exposed, the one of superior standing loses reputation. Even the detestable and abominable crime of incest does not, among them, merit public scorn and re- proach. The pride of the mother is highly gratified, and she boasts of the distinction, when the favors of her daughters have been bestowed upon Europeans. That most odious practice here prevails, of a plurality of husbands. Even brothers, among this people, sometimes have one wife in common. Polygamy is seldom practised. Marriage of course is very lightly esteemed—a mere rope of sand, which has no power of permanently binding the parties in wedlock. It is usually contracted by the parents of the par- ties, and those who intend to marry often enjoy the commerce incident to the connubial state for some length of time, and if not suited with each other, relinquish forever their, purposes to unite themselves in wedlock. Both parties not unfrequently divorce several times before they finally find one with whom they are willing to spend their days until separated by death. Nothing could be expected of such a people, but that they were sunk in the lowest depths of vice, pollution and superstition. In Corfu, custom requires that the bride shall weep at the wedding, in order to signify her reluctance to quit the virgin state. In Java, the lower classes seldom have more than one wife—but -the higher ranks have several, and a great num- ber of concubines, in whose company they spend a great part of the time, smoking and listening to their stories and amusements. To their chastity they are deplorably indif- ferent. J MADAGASCAR CEREMONIES. 59 In the island of Jeso, the women are said to be very re- served and circumspect—they are watched with great jeal- ousy by their husbands and fathers against the advances of strangers. Brothers and sisters are said to intermarry, thus committing one of the most revolting violations of the laws of nature and of the human constitution, and which must always be followed by the degeneracy of our race, as has been abundantly demonstrated by observation. The lords of creation in this island are permitted to have from four to eight wives. Among this people, adultery is pun- ished by cutting off the hair of the offender—this, perhaps, may appear a very trifling penalty as the retribution for so serious an offence ; but, were the crime considered as dis- graceful as in our own happy and enlightened country, any mark or sign that should constantly expose the guilty crim- inal to the scornful gaze of her acquaintances, would be re- garded a severer chastisement than even solitary confine- ment within the walls of a dungeon, where the offender would not meet the disdainful rebuke of society. Such may be, and probably is, the design of the custom in Jeso in relation to this matter. What kind of a spectacle would society exhibit in the United States, should the custom prevail among us of shaving the head of every adulterer and adulteress 1 especially were the crimes of all offenders in this regard, ferreted out and thus exposed to the scorn- ful gaze of their fellow citizens! Not a few would be shorn of their raven locks, were seduction and debauchery thus exhibited in all their ugly deformity. It might soon become fashionable to dispense with this beautiful orna- ment, with which Nature, like a kind mother, has bedecked her disobedient children. In Madagascar, a man can have but one wife according to law but iust as many concubines as his circumstances and lustful appetite will afford. The females of this great island, which contains a population of some three or four millions, are not reduced to a state of positive slavery, as thev are in many other savage nations, but possess great influence over their husbands. They are very licentious however, both before and after marriage ; and it is said that few marriages take place without previous commerce. They have no marriage ceremony whatever, but live to- gether as husband and wife by mutual consent. Unmarried females regard it as an honor to have children by strangers 60 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. and foreigners. Incontinence and adultery are punished only as petty offences—another picture of barbarism and degradation which some of our own state legislatures seem emulous to imitate. It has been said by those who have visited the Marque- sas Islands, that that people have something of the forms of matrimony, but that the sexes indulge in most shocking ob- scenities in open day, and that too with as little reserve as the lower animals. This people (shame to human nature !) suck the blood of their enemies slain in war, and butcher their own wives and feast upon their dead bodies, in times of scarcity and famine. Mr. Walker might learn a useful lesson in the history of this people, upon the subjects of divorce and courtezanism, and we would commend it to his attention and perusal before he publishes another edition of his work treating upon those and kindred matters. In Japan, the husband is a perfect despot over both his wives and concubines. Marriage ceremonies are adminis- tered by the priests, with but little pomp and circumstance. A young woman's reputation suffers nothing from havin^ served in the brothels which are common in every little village. Sad, sickening picture of human depravity ! The marriages among that singular race of beings, the Gipsies, are formed in the rudest manner. They enter into wedlock in early life with little ceremony, and without any ideas of its being of much consequence. The young Gipsy marries a girl without caring whether she is his sister or a stranger. They are very tenacious, however, upon the point of marrying one of their own race. Whenever he becomes tired of her, he turns her off without ceremony. Their inordinate attachment to children is the strong tie that binds them in wedlock. Drunkenness and obscenity are the schools in which they are educated. In our researches for scraps of history upon the ceremo- . nies and binding character of this institution, we have found no people who do not in some form or other, either really or nominally, recognise the propriety and necessity of this relation. Though the shades of importance attached to it, and the detail of relative rights conferred by the con- jugal union, are as various as are the shades of civilization and intelligence, among the almost countless nations of the earth, yet something answering to marriage is universally recognised. In the darker portions of the world as well as JAPAN CEREMONIES. 61 the more enlightened and christianized—in the frozen re- gions of the north as -well as the sunny climes of the south —in ancient as well as modern times—among philosophers as well as savages—no exception can be found worthy ol the name or importance of a national feature. And further still—in some of the details resulting from this union, there is a universal agreement. For instance, there is no variety of opinion upon the point, that it invests the husband, (where a plurality of husbands is not tolerated,) with supe- rior rights and privileges to others of his own sex; and nearly all agree that it confers upon him exclusive privi- leges, although in every instance this is not claimed—as for instance, where their veneration for their royal sove- reign leads them to the voluntary and unqualified surrender of every thing they hold most sacred, for his gratification. The almost infinitude of laws that have been passed, and the variety of means which have been adopted by different nations for the security of the privileges supposed to be conferred by this institution, demonstrate the universality of the belief, that matrimony is essential to the welfare of society. In nothing else are society half so harmonious. The penalties inflicted for the violation of these relations which grow out of this sacred union, are indeed as various as the national characteristics which distinguished the in- habitants of earth from each other. Some have regarded adultery as merely an offence against the party with whom the offender was united in marriage—others, in addition to this, have considered it an offence against the peace, dignity and well-being of society, and have punished the offender accordingly. Some have considered it an offence amount- ing to little else than a severe joke, while others have pun- ished the offender with immediate and inglorious death. However ready the selfishness of men may prompt them to be to rob others, they are seldom willing to be the sub- jects themselves of these unhallowed violations. The guilty wretch who returns from the pollution of his neighbor s bed, and finds his own wife engaged in similar acts of infi- delity, will instantly abandon her forever, or, perhaps, in a fit of frenzy or madness, plunge the,fatal steel into her heart Every man is desirous of protection in the enjoy- ment of his rights, and to this end looks to the strong arm of the law—but how many there are who are themselves unwilling to come under its restraining influences ! In some "nsTances, the penalties for infidelity to the marriage vow, 62 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. have been quite too light and trifling; in others somewhat proportioned to the nature of the crime ; and in others still, most savage and horrible ! Stinging nearly to death with wasps—putting out the eyes—mutilation—stoning to death —cutting off the nose and ears—burning at the stake—ban- ishment for life—sowed in sacks and thrown into the depths of the sea—are among the penalties inflicted in some por- tions of the world for this high crime. A few centuries since, a couple of men in France were convicted of this crime, and two princesses were partners in their guilt—the former were sentenced to be flayed alive, hanged and quar tered—the latter were sentenced to perpetual imprisonment What measures can be adopted to prevent the corruption of youth by licentious habits, and to preserve the purity and morals of the people, has ever been an interesting ques- tion with the philanthropist. Restraint, by bolts and bars, has never done it—the most sanguinary laws have, in a great measure, failed in the accomplishment of so desirable an object—neither has unrestrained freedom secured the result. Past experience proves, that nothing is half so po- tent as the religion of Christ, which teaches woman her rights, and man to respect them. From the Bible, the transgressor learns that there is a sleepless eye that watches all his movements, that penetrates the recesses of the soul, and that God has pronounced the severe maledictions of his law upon the head of the guilty offender. The secrecy with which the crime may be perpetrated, does not hide his guilty soul from the scrutiny of his Maker—the darkness of midnight cannot shield him from the gaze of Omniscience. In that holy volume, woman is taught to " claim in common with man, and in like measure, the undying principle of a spiritual existence—that she possesses an equal share of inbred corruption, an equal incapacity to deliver herself from its bondage, an equal need of the redemption wrought out by our Almighty Deliverer by the sacrifice of himself on the cross for sinners. She wants, and therefore she asks, and asking she shall possess, and possessing she shall use, even as man does, the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide her into all truth, to show her the right way, and to uphold her in it when she has once entered thereupon. In the ioys of heaven, or in the torments of hell, her portion wiL be as man's—in all these things she is equal."* * " Wrongs of Women," by Charlotte Elizabeth. 7HE CHRISTIAN'S BIBLE 63 In the Christian's Bible, the polygamist, the seducer of female purity, and the loathsome debauchee, can learn no- thing that justifies their high-handed piracy against all that is lovely in social life. They cannot turn over its sacred pages without occasionally trembling in the presence of their God—for even such villains must sometimes be seri- ous ! If we calculate the punishment of the seducer and the libertine, to be at all proportional to their guilt, and the indescribable pangs of wo with which they have pierced many a young and innocent heart, high Heaven itself con tains no thunderbolts too ponderous to hurl upon their guilty souls. The dissembling fiend lies, and cheats, and flatters, and swears falsely in the face of insulted Heaven— he insinuates himself into the warm affections of the young and confiding heart of his unsuspecting victim—he too often succeeds in his nefarious villany, ruins the blooming maiden, and then leaves her to languish in everlasting in- famy ! Yea, further—the transcendentalist in all that is fiendish in human character, will smile at the tortures he has inflicted—will laugh like a demon at the gnawing of the undying worm at her vitals ! No pencil can faithfully portray the nameless and deathless agonies of spirit, which it is the peculiar province of the finished seducer to inflict " Take one example, one of female wo. Loved by a father, and a mother's love, In rural peace she lived, so fair, so light Of heart, so good, and young, that reason scarce The eye could credit; but would doubt, as she Did stoop to pull the lilly or the rose From morning's dew, if it reality Of flesh and blood, or holy vision, saw, In imagery of perfect womanhood. But short her bloom—her happiness was short. One saw her loveliness, and with desire Unhallowed burning, to her ear addressed Dishonest words : ' Her favor was his life, His heaven; her frown his wo, his night, his death. With turgid phrase thus wove in flattery's loom, He on her womanish nature won, and age Suspicionless, and ruined and forsook: For he a chosen villain was at heart, And capable of deeds that durst not seek Repentance. Soon her father saw her shame; His heart grew stone; he drove her forth to want And wintry winds, and with a horrid curse Pursued her ear, forbidding all return. HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. Upon a hoary cliff that watched the sea, Her babe was found—dead: on its little cheek, The tear that nature bade it weep, had turned An ice-drop, sparkling in the morning beam ; And to the turf its helpless hands were frozen : For she—the woful mother, had gone mad, And laid it down, regardless of its fate And of her own. Yet had she many days Of sorrow in the world, but never wept. She lived on alms; and carried in her hand Some withered stalks, she gathered in the spring. When any asked the cause, she smiled, and said, They were her sisters, and would come and watch Her grave when she was dead. She never spoke Of her deceiver, father, mother, home, Or child, or heaven, or hell, or God; but still In lonely places walked, and ever gazed Upon the withered stalks, and talked to them ; Till, wasted to the shadow of her youth, With wo too wide to see beyond—she died : ****** and he Who ruined her, read from her holy look, That pierced him with perdition manifold, His sentence, burning with vindictive fire !" Let the doating father or the affectionate brother imagine a case like the above, (and there are thousands,) to be that of his own daughter or sister, and then let him write the sentence against the diabolic seducer ! What would be the language of his heart 1 It would be beyond the power of words to express. He would feel that if any man ever went into the eternal world " with the deep damnation of blood on his soul," that man should be the infamous sedu cer of female innocence. Take my sister, whom nature and fraternal affection have taught me to love with an at- tachment stronger than death! bear her bleeding mangled body away to yonder Alpine heights, where hungry vul* tares may gnaw her quivering flesh j but spare her ! oh God spare her from the poisoning, loathsome embrace of the damning seducer ! ! We may be excused for a passing notice of that numer- ous class of literary men who have deluged the world with their almost countless volumes of licentious writing ft can scarcely be denied that they have done much to nave the pathway of the debauchee with violets andToses They THE DUTY OF PARENTS. 65 have evidently studied to encircle the heartless libertine and the infernal seducer, with the false but splendid dra- pery of romance, and to render him a noble hero in his un- hallowed crusade against all that is lovely in female char- acter. They invest the demon incarnate with all those captivating attributes that stamp man with intellectual ex- cellence, and place upon his brow the seal of immortality. The fancied hero of the charming and well-told story, not unfrequently enjoys all the polish of a superior education, all that exquisite refinement found only in the more ele- vated walks of life, and much of that sweetness of temper andamability of character which render him an object of the highest admiration. They even give the guileless young man lessons in this hellish art, and lure the hitherto spotless youth from those innocent paths in which he has been taught to walk. By reading works of fiction, he is taught the science of temptation and seduction, and is soon inclined to believe that there is a sort of literature and poe- try in this species of criminality. He is soon more than half inclined to believe himself wanting in the finished qualifications of mature manliness, unless he can boast of the victims whom he has beguiled by his artfulness. It is the duty of parents to teach the children of their own household, whom God and nature have placed under their protection and control, to avoid the perusal of such authors as they would the embrace of a viper or the worm that never dies. They are like so many streams of death, temporal and eternal, into which army after army of the youth of the world are perpetually plunging. They are the great Gehenna of moral pollution, whose obscene waters overwhelm the soul in everlasting perdition. They are like the poison Upas, whose fatal effluvia, borne abroad upon the wings of the wind, carries death in its terrific course. They are the dreadful Pandora's box in the intellectual world, from which issue all manner of diseases, and which iniect the very atmosphere we inhale. Yes ; infinitely- worse, and inconceivably more ruinous than any mere phys- ical pestilences, are the countless novels and fictitious dra- mas which are annually issued from a polluted press in this country and in Europe ; for the former bear only upon the physical nature of man, are limited in their influences, and cease their ravages when they have vanquished the bodies of their victims.0 But these moral scourges are stereotyped 66 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. upon the world of mind—have to do with immortality! travel all along the track of time, widening and extending their resistless ravages, until the affairs of this world are transferred to the scenes of another for final review. The young man who has been brought up within the in- fluence of a christian circle, has been taught the black crim- inality of setting a snare for the ruination of the innocent and unsuspecting. But when he is introduced to the world through the medium of some captivating romance, the eye loses sight of the deformities of vice, amid the splendors of the scenery with which it is decorated. It has been said, that— " Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, That, to be hated, needs but to be seen ;" yet, the blandishments with which it is sought to be em- bellished by the writers of fiction, often dazzle and bewilder the youthful mind, and render it unable to discriminate be- tween the monster itself and the attractive plumage with which it is attired. " Such is human nature, that some per- sons lose their abhorrence of crime, in their admiration of its magnificent exhibitions. Ordinary vice is reprobated by them, but extraordinary guilt, exquisite wickedness, the high flights and poetry of crime, seize on the imagination, and lead them to forget the depths of the guilt, in admira- tion of the excellence of the performance, or the unequalled atrocity of the purpose. There are those in our day, who have made great use of this infirmity of our nature; and by means of it done infinite injury to the cause of good mor- als. They have affected not only the taste, but I fear also the principles, of the young, the heedless and the imagina- tive, hy the exhibition of interesting and beautiful monsters. They render depravity attractive, sometimes by the polish of its manners, and sometimes by its very extravagance ; and study to show off crime under all the advantages of clever- ness and dexterity."* The accomplished, educated, scientific seducer's school- book is a novel. In it he learns all his notions of the pro- prieties of life—he commits to memory the rules which are to make him a finished tactician in his work of ruin and death. He learns the modus operandi by which he can * Daniel Webster. NOVELS. 67 successfully make a total wreck of an immortal mind ! He seeks the first opportunity to make application of his lessons, and commences the work of politely withering the fairest flowers that bloom in nature's garden. He smiles at the wreck he has made, and perhaps consoles himself with the reflection, that it was done in the true classic style of Don Juan, represented in the cantos of Byron. And where is the fallen, ruined victim's redress 1 Where, even in enlightened America, is to be found a reparation for her grievous wrong 1 She is cast out from the pale of society, despised by her own sex, and has a mark set upon her as ineffaceable as that which was branded upon the fore- head of Cain. But the infamous villain who set the snare for her unwary feet, is allowed to walk forth in society with all the apparent self-complacency of a knight-errant, and is even caressed by kindred spirits on account of the cool and skilful execution of his crime. The victim of his duplicity and treachery is visited with a terrible retribu- tion ! In addition to betrayed confidence, blasted affection, a bleeding heart, and tarnished virtue, she is as effectually shut out from every thing on earth which can minister en- joyment to her crushed and broken spirit, as though the cruel gates of the infernal regions were closed against her. She is to wander through life, a despised vagabond, an ob- ject of scorn to the virtuous, and of derision to her betrayer ! while the worse than murderous villain who has robbed her of that priceless gem which gave her value in her own eyes, and in the estimation of the world, a jewel infinitely more valuable than all of Croesus's treasure, is shielded by the strono- arm of law and public opinion, and in due time sets out in quest of a new victim ! Human language is inade- quate to the expression of our abhorrence and detestation of such a monster, and of those who would teach him to become skilful in his piratical career. For their own grat- ification they would pluck down the stars from heaven, sin^r the'funeral dirge of all that is lovely and amiable in th/universe, and clip a seraph's wing and let him drop to perdition! ! , . - . . ^ . . x Public opinion is wrong upon this point—and the statutes of our country are wrong. The father can scarcely be found so destitute of honorable feeling, so destitute of re- gard for the spotless integrity of his daughter, as not to pre- fer that she should be honorably enveloped in her winding 68 HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. sheet and buried forever from his sight, to the bitter ieflec- tion, that she has been decoyed by the reckless seducer. The midnight assassin is punished with death! but the se- ducer, by the statutes of many of the United States, does not even commit an indictable offence, the lowest crime known to the law. If the guilty thief purloin hi3 neigh- bor's watch, he commits a grave offence against the dignity and welfare of society, and is punished with the utmost rigor—but if he make inroads upon domestic happiness, ruin whole families, leave fathers to weep over the degradation of their daughters, and mothers to mourn over sickening scenes of social desolation, the villain goes " unwhipped of justice." With impunity, he may raise his treasonable hand against the peace of the domestic fireside, and aim a fatal blow at the foundations of society. There are pirates in the social world as well as upon the high seas—and as such, should be punished by the severe retributions of an incensed and outraged community. But hitherto the civil arm has been comparatively weak and powerless. The Gospel of Christ has done much to elevate woman to her proper rights and dignity; but it has not done all in this regard which the Christian desires and expects. It has not entirely banished sin from the world ; neither has it yet fully exalted the gentler sex to their true positiom. The period when it shall, however, is rolling onward. God speed the day! Let woman remember what Christianity has done, and is still doing for her present and eternal welfare—let her linger around the cross of Jesus__ let her look with confidence to the triumph of the Redeem- er's kingdom as that glorious event which shall confer upon her and upon her lovely daughters, a crown of more inesti- mable value than the diadems of the Caesars. " What is there in the vale of life Half so delightful as a wife, When friendship, love, and peace combine To stamp the marriage-bond divine ? The stream of pure and genuine love Derives its current from above; And earth a second Eden shows Where'er the healing water flows : But ah! if from the dykes and drains Of sensual nature's feverish veins, Lust, like a lawless headstrong flood, Impregnated with ooze and mud, CONCLUSION Descending fast on every side, Once mingles with the sacred tide, Farewell the soul-enlivening scene ! The banks that wore a smiling green, With rank defilement overspread, Bewail their flowery beauties dead; The stream polluted, dark, and dull, Diffused into a Stygian pool, Through life's last melancholy years Is fed with ever-flowing tears; Complaints supply the zephyr's part, And sighs that heave a breaking heart." MARRIAGE: A PHRENOLOGICAL AND PHYSIOLOGICAL EXPOSITION OF ITS CHARACTER AND DESIGN. The more we look into the works of our Maker, the more we see that design, fitness, and adaptation character- ize them all. This will be found particularly so when we investigate them as applied to " the lord of creation ;" for, just in proportion as his nature is understood is he found to possess those qualities, and only those which capacitate him to fill his peculiar sphere for which he was designed. The laws of harmony and adaptation fully illustrate this point, and exhibit the wisdom and designs of the Creator in a most extensive light. Man being the subject of God's designs, the result of his causation, the instrument through which he makes known his wisdom and power, possesses both the ability and incli- nation to sustain all the agencies and duties devolving upon him ; and in no case is this more strikingly exhibited than when it is applied to his social nature. 72 MARRIAGE. Existing as we do with this social nature, and with all the duties and responsibilities connected with this organiza- tion, it devolves upon us to ascertain how we can most suc- cessfully accomplish our mission on earth. Those medi- ums or sciences, therefore, which throw light upon this all- important subject, should be looked on as so many life- boats, to take us from the wreck and convey us to a safe harbor and quiet repose. Phrenology and Physiology are the only sciences which give us correct and safe information upon these interesting relations. They, like the pilot, will serve as a true guide on the sea of matrimonial life. Physiology makes us acquainted with all the functions of the body, their healthy state of action, how to keep them healthy, and the cause of their derangement: also the laws of hereditary influence, the transmission ef qualities from parents to children, and the necessity of obeying all the laws connected with our physical existence, in order to se- cure three important objects of our being, which are, life, health, and happiness. Phrenology makes us acquainted with the faculties of the mind and their manifestations, the combinations which pro- duce harmony between the parties united, and the means of adapting the exercise of each faculty in one individual to that of another, besides informing us in relation to the na- ture and adaptation of those faculties which are connected with our social and domestic relations. It informs us that they should be exercised in harmony with the other faculties of the mind, in order to secure all the designs connected with their existence, and also that the evils of domestic life are almost invariably the result of a clashing of these social qualities. SYMBOLICAL HEAD. SYMBOLICAL HEAD SHOWING THE LOCATION OF THE ORGANl No. 1. CLASSIFICATION OF THE ORGAN! 74 MARRIAGE. The organs of the domestic feel^fes and propensities are located in that portion of the head which is occupied by the lower and posterior convolutions of the brain—mostly co- vered by the occipital bone. (See cuts 2 & 3.) Their in- fluence on character is greater than any other equal num- ber of faculties ; and they also embrace a larger portion of the brain. These faculties, properly or improperly direct- ed, have as much, if not more to do with the happiness or misery of mankind than any other; hence the importance of securing their proper influence and direction. The legitimate influence of the social feelings on the other faculties of the mind, is like the band around a sheaf of wheat, which serves to keep the bundle together until the wheat is secured. So the social nature of man con- fines, combines, and directs the whole energy of the mind, and all its various powers, into those channels and pursuits which are necessary in order to enable us to fill the sphere which our Creator intended. Pope Alexander VI, was remarkable for the extreme and perverted influence of the social feelings, which affected his whole life and conduct. When very strong and active, as in the cut annexed, they are extremly liable to be perverted, particularly by young per- sons, in whom they are excitable, and who have had but little experience in the world. "The most effectual way to direct these feelings in the proper channel, and prevent their be- coming perverted, is, to secure the equal exercise of the moral and intellectual faculties, allowing the social feelings to be freely exercised in virtuous society, innocent amuse- ments, and in reading suitable books—thus creating a ba- lance of power in favor of intelligence, morality, and virtue. Some parents who have children with strong social feel- ings, keep them entirely away from all society as a preven- tive to the perversion of those feelings, hoping in this way to save their sons and daughters from disgrace and ruin, for- getting the old adage, that "nature will out," let the restric- THE SOCIAL ORGANS. 75 No. 4. tion be what it may. It would be far better and much more in accordance with nature, if those parents would secure good society, in which those children could exercise their affections harmlessly. The first faculty in the social group, to be considered in this treatise, is Amativeness, situated in the cerebellum, giv- ing width and fulness between and behind the ears. (See cuts 5 & 6.) Cut No. 5 represents large Amativeness, being the middle and prominence of the neck behind the ear, also very strong Firmness, by the elevation of head from the ear upwards. This cut was taken from the drawing of a female seventeen years of age, while she was confined in Auburn jail, for loose licentious conduct: and the author was informed by the jailer, that he never had a person under his care so ob- stinate and devoid of shame and modesty, as the woman 76 MARRIAGE. FEMALE HEAD. STEPHEN BURROUGHS No. 5. No. 6. • which this cut represents. The faculties of Amativeness and Firmness were perverted, the moral and intellectual had a limited influence, and her whole organization was coarse and masculine, with very few of the feminine traits. Cut 6 is the back view of the head of Stephen Burroughs, showing great width of the neck between the ears, in whom also this faculty was very prominent, yet more powerful than active. The organ being large rather than sharp in development, while in Aaron Burr, cut 7, it is very largely and very sharply developed, indicating both the power and activity of the faculty, which were exemplified in his cha- racter. The side view of Mrs. A., cut No. 8, shows it small, as it was in character j contrast the cuts 5 and 8, and see the dif- ference behind the ears. The function of this faculty, is, love between the sexes, and is adapted to, and in harmony with, the condition of man and animals, as agents of reproduction ; its stimulating AARON BURR. 77 influences upon the other faculties are most powerful. It gives us all those feelings, impulses and attractions which are experienced between the sexes as such, and is the mag- netic cord which draws them together. " It exerts a quiet, but effectual influence in the general intercourse between the sexes, giving rise in each to a sort of kindly interest in all that concerns the other. It softens all the proud, irascible, and anti-social principles of our na- ture, in every thing which regards that sex which is the ob- ject of it, increasing the activity and force of all the kindly and benevolent affections. This explains many facts which appear in the mutual regards of the sexes towards each other. Men are, generally speaking, more generous and kind, more benevolent and charitable, towards women, than they are to men, and vice versa." The characters of both sexes are im- proved by the society of the other, by way of making man modest polite, and refined, and woman more energetic, am- bitious, and talented. In healthy and well-formed persons the larger the organ, the more desirable is the companj of 78 MARRIAGE. MRS . A. No. 8. the other sex. It is much influenced by the imagination by increasing the charms and personal attractions where there are but few, thus giving false impressions of each other, and directing the intellect into a wrong channel. But if the organ be small, the person is less susceptible to emotions of love ; is cold-hearted and distant—disposed to avoid the company of the opposite sex, and manifests a want of refinement, tenderness, warmth, and delicacy of feeling which should exist between the sexes. The affec- tions of such a person may be characterized by purity of feeling and platonic attachment, rather than by those im- passioned emotions which spring from large Amativeness. Amativeness in the head of the distinguished John Ran- dolph, was small. He had, comparatively no love for wo- man—was insensible to her charms"; her presence, and par- ticularly her caresses were decidedly repulsive to him BMALL AMATIVENESS. JOHN RANDOLPH. No. 9. From what can be learned of him, it appears that this fa- culty was smaller, both physicially and mentally, than in any other man on the records of history ; and there are no traces of it in his physiognomical expression. This faculty is very much affected by the temperament, and under pe- culiar circumstances may be so much excited as, for the time being, to appear large, when it is in fact only moderate. It should be equal in its influences between the parties united, in order to secure the greatest amount of happiness in domestic life, and the harmonious exercise of all the other faculties—for no small share of the difficulties which occur between husband and wife, arise from the irregular and unequal influences of this faculty. Scores of facts directly in point could be given, with names and places of residence, where serious difficulties ex 80 MARRIAGE. ist in respectable families, arising from a want of sympathy and equal influence of Amativeness. Many in whom this faculty is weak, and constitution feeble, lose their health and shorten their days in trying to conform to the stronger passions of their companions, and are convinced of this fact only when it is too late to stay • the arrows of death and to eradicate the seeds of dissolution. Let the husband of her whose cheek is fading with dis- ease, whose eye is growing dim, and the step palsied, stop and inquire if he is not the secret cause of her decline. If this faculty is really small in the one, and large in the other, then it would be the duty of the one in whom it is large to restrain and modify its influence, while the other should strive to cultivate it by encouraging what there is, and allowing the faculty to be called into action when the occasion requires : it can be increased by encouraging ten- der feelings towards the opposite sex, and looking upon them with complacency, and allowing those caresses which love and affection prompt between husband and wife. When the reason is convinced of the deficiency of this fa- culty, it will suggest the proper way for its increased action between the parties concerned. It is however more often too large than too small. From my extensive observations and knowledge gained by fifteen years travel in all parts of the country, and be- coming acquainted with families from various parts of the world, 1 have at times almost arrived at the conclusion that I one-half, if not more, of all difficulties existing between hus- bands and wives, and premature deaths, are produced by a want of proper adaptation to each other in this organ. When this faculty is perverted, it leads to looseness, licentiousness, vulgarity, low life, and profligacy. Hence, we see individuals of high standing and rank in society, and distinguished for intellectual and sometimes for moral greatness, become very degraded in the eyes of the virtuous when guided by the perverted influences of this faculty! AMATIVENESS--ITS PERVERSION. 81 f he whole history of man, sacred and profane, and in all gradations of society, bears strong and melancholy marks of its perversion ; and in no possible way does human nature appear so low and disgusting, so brutal and devoid of rea- son, as when this faculty has the controlling influence—a faculty which, guided by reason and modified by the moral sentiments, is calculated to secure the highest degree of do- mestic enjoyment, and make social life exceedingly plea- sant and desirable. But, strange as it may appear, human nature has become so depraved, the intellect and ambition of many influential men are so misdirected that they con- sider their greatness and popularity increased in proportion to the perversion of this faculty, thus leading thousands astray. It is the province and natural influence of Phreno- logy, to exert a great influence in correcting these false im- pressions, and in bringing about a very important reform in this matter by enabling us to understand the proper use of each faculty, and how far it can be exercised without vio- lating its functions, or its harmonious influence with other mental qualities. It is stronger in the male than in the fe- male, and is in them, more frequently perverted; and, if woman goes astray at all in this respect, it is too often the case that she has been led astray by perverted man, and his seducing influences. CAUSES OF ITS PERVERSION. *The more common ways which lead to the excitement and perversion of this faculty are : First The indulgence of the appetite in the too free use of stimulating food and drink, in connexion with the ex- ercise of the social feelings-such as parties of pleasure, clubs, carousals, balls, &c. The fashion of honoring men and measures, of celebrating party triumphs or birthdays by superb dinners and late suppers of the richest food, of passing around the glass so freely and allowing the merits 82 MARRAlGE. . of the cause which they honor to be a sufficient excuse for becoming intoxicated, is decidedly bad, and has an immoral tendency. For a proof of this, we have only to notice the jpersons who encourage them, and see the consequences of r such a course of training. The evil is twofold: it makes •; drunkards ; and encourages licentiousness. Intemperance and licentiousness are twin brothers ; the latter is almost the necessary result of the former. Thousands of wives have been covered with shame and disgrace, and have drag- ged out a miserable existence in consequence of the belief that their husbands preferred others to themselves, and that they not only lavished their money on them, while they were needy, but also bestowed caresses and praises on them, while they were treated with coldness, harshness, and neg- lect ; while all this career of licentiousness would have been avoided, and they have been the best of husbands, had they not yielded to their intemperate appetites, and excited their animal passions in those parties of pleasure, social gatherings, and public places of resort, where eating and drinking, connected with the presence of beautiful women, were the chief attractions of the occasion. Secondly. Encouraging certain modes of dress calculated expressly to attract the attention of the opposite sex, and exciting the curiosity by the peculiar manner in which dress envelopes the female form—arousing the passion in those who have it strong, and the disgust of those more ele- vated in feeling. All of which may be considered as the legitimate effects of many of the fashions of the day. There is no necessary evil connected with fashion, style, or mode of dress in itself; yet the conventionalities of so- ciety, climate, and religion, fix a •standard for dress, from which if we deviate, we depart from true propriety. There is no immodesty in nature's garb ; but custom, with its ada- mantine chain, has set its bounds, and as long as our ideas of virtue and purity are regulated by that custom, we should pay due deference to its dictates; especially where man CAUSES OF THE PERVERSION OF AMATIVENESS. 83 from his human nature and animality, is affected by its ex- posure. Thirdly. Reading works of romance written by persons of morbid feelings, sickly sentiments, and extravagant hopes —all containing highly wrought scenes of amatory happi- ness and earthly felicity—thus exciting the animal feelings and weakening the judgment, creating a distaste for com- monplace transactions, and giving false and imperfect ideas of human nature. This will appear evident when we consider that those persons who are the most interested in perusing the trash of light reading with which our country is flooded, are the ones who yield most readily to temptation, and are led astray by her siren voice. True there are some strong minds who can resist this pernicious tendency, yet the reverse is too fearfully the case with the majority. Fourthly. Attending theatres and^other similar places of amusement, whose principal attractions are, unnatural and far-fetched representations of scenes overloaded with " love," in sentiment and in action, the most absurd, be- cause unreal. In truth, it may well be called acting. Be- sides, at these places there are resorts where licentiousness stalks openly and defyingly, where the most abandoned con- gregate, a moral Upas tree, which disseminates all impurity and blights with deadly and destructive effect the moral feelings. Theatres are well enough in their places, if they are what they should be; for their influence should be moral and intellectual, where all can go consistently and be amu- sed, instructed, and benefited; but so long as drinking, gambling, licentious profanity, and all the train of evils. connected with them are allowed, and even sanctioned to be inmates of these public places of resort, they should be looked upon as a monster evil, and treated as such. Neither the cause of moral reform, nor that of temper-^ ance can do their perfect work or even make much advance- $4 MARRIAGE. ment, as long as these dens of iniquity are licensed and pa- tronised. And again, there are many othf i private ways ol its per- version which different individuals resort to under various circumstances. Its perverted influences are very contagious iind easily felt, as most persons in society are aware. The young, especially, cannot be too particular as to the cha- racter of their companions, or the habits they encourage; for, the effects of early impressions and associations are never lost sight of, and tend to bias the mind, direct the thoughts, and mould the character for life. An individual in whom this faculty is perverted, is constantly exerting a contaminating influence over all his associates, and is suc- cessful in leading others astray in proportion as he can con- trol their minds. Much of the chit-chat talk of young da- dies and gentlemen, when they are striving to entertain each other most successfully, has a demoralizing influence, and should be discountenanced. Great exertion is made at the present day, to reform man- kind in regard to this faculty ; but, a complete and radical reformation cannot take place until we understand tho- roughly its design, function, and adaptation, and the causes of its perversion being known are guarded against—until this faculty of the mind receives its proper attention as well as the moral and intellectual faculties. Parents and teachers must lay aside their false delicacy, and teach their children in relation to the full and important bearings of the seventh commandment, how to obey it—thus producing a more even balance of the mind, discountenancing its too early and improper manifestations, taking particular rare to instil into their minds useful and virtuous thoughts. This faculty becomes wrongly directed in children much earlier than many are aware. Many facts have come under ; ly observation of its perverted influences, in children from i'->ur years old and upwards. More attention should be I lid to the early manifestations of this faculty, in order to CAUSES OF THE PERVERSION OF AMATIVENESS. 85 secure its proper direction; for, it is one of the strongest feelings of our nature, and when once perverted or impro- perly directed, the morals of such an individual are on a sandy foundation, and receive a fundamental and perma- nent injury. Difficulties in families will be found mostly to arise from a violation of the laws of nature in forming these matrimo- nial relations, or in a failure to obey the mental law of har- mony between the faculties after marriage. Sickness, suffering, and premature death are frequently the result of improper marriages. To these general rules there are some exceptions, espe- cially in cases of disease. In the state of New York," in the fall of the year 1840, a gentleman presented himself to me for a phrenological ex- amination of his cranium. In the progress of the descrip- tion, it was remarked, that his cerebellum was diseased, be- ing at the time in a state of excessive inflammation. He requested that a particular analysis should be given—which was done. The organ of Self-esteem was also very promi- nent and active, and when connected with the unnatural condition of the cerebellum, it was stated that he was, most likely, jealous of his wife, and very probably without cause or reason : the size and excitement of these particular facul- ties being sufficient to produce that state of feeling from their own immediate influence, without the assistance of circumstances. He immediately observed that such was the fact: that he bad suspected his wife for three or four years, and he thought that he had good and sufficient grounds for his jealousy. The question was then asked, if he did not often feel a pain in the back portion of his head. He answered, Yes ; and that, at times, when this pain was at its height, his sus- picions were the strongest, and his conduct the most vio- lent. Had frequently insisted upon her being turned out of 86 MARRIAGE. the church as unworthy of membership, and at such times had taken other strong measures against her ; but his friends espoused the cause of his wife, and had persuaded him to travel, hoping that change of scene and new subjects for thought would wean his mind from these domestic misfor- tunes, and restore him to sanity upon this point. His con- sent was given to the arrangement, merely to pacify them; and he insisted strenuously, that "confirmation strong as proofs of Holy Writ" remained for his belief, however bit- ter it was. The point was argued at length, and consider- able endeavours made to influence his mind, and cause him to take a proper view of the subject—and not without some effect, although he left persisting in the soundness of his judgement in this department of his feelings! Sometime thereafter, he obtained an examination from Mr. O. S. Fowler, who made a similar statement, and rea- soned with him in the same manner, and upon the same point. He commenced the study of himself thoroughly upon the principles of Phrenology. His disease gradually gave way to the force of reason; he readily made acknowledgments to his wife; they entered into explanations; and the result is, that he is now established in a happy home. The origin of his disease was this: His wife had small Amativeness—was therefore cold-hearted ; he had the organ very large, and not having his ardor of feeling reciprocated, brought on the inflammation, producing the disastrous con- sequences above mentioned, though they are now happily pacified. All who have made any observations on this subject have arrived at the same conclusion, viz: that the strength and activity of this faculty depend upon the size of the cerebel- lum and the activity of the brain. Gall remarks: " I have had opportunities of observing several men and women, who were the slaves of this propensity, in a depraved condition. The large and arched nape of the neck is con- DEPRAVED AMATIVENESS. 87 spicuous, particularly in the women. Almost all the wo- men abandoned to this propensity have at the same time a robust and masculine constitution. The men, on the con- trary, have an effeminate body ; their limbs are rounded, fat, motled, and small, and their breasts very conspicuous. The ancient historians describe Nero as delivered up to the most intense voluptuousness, and say that ' his propensi- ties were painted on his countenance; that he had small eyes, sunk in fat, a thick neck, a large belly, and thin legs ; and that his fair hair, and his delicate rather than majestic face, caused him to be recognized at once as effeminate.' I have, however, met with some exceptions to this rule. " We saw in a House of Correction in Holland, some men already advanced in life, who, with an organization otherwise favorable, had been addicted to similar disorders. They acknowledged their incapacity to resist the impetuo- sity of their propensity, and had already several times re- lapsed into the same vice. They were convinced that their conduct had been blameable and unbecoming; but they begged not to be set at liberty, because if they were set free, they would relapse into crime. We made the indi- viduals who accompanied us remark the excessive develop- ment of the cerebellum in these men." For further striking illustrations and information on the demoralizing and health-destroying influences of the sexual feelings when perverted, see "Gall and others on the Func- tion of the Cerebellum," and " Fowler on Amativeness." 88 MARRIAGE. PHIL O PRO GEN IT 1 VENESS: ITS LOCATION AND ANALYSIS. Philoprogenitiveness is the next faculty exercisea in the social relations. It is located immediately above tne middle of the cerebellum, from which it is separated by a small membrane, called the tentorium, directly under the centre of the occipital bone. In mankind, the posterior lobes of both hemispheres are extended beyond the cerebel- lum, which is universally developed directly at the sides underneath the faculty of Philoprogenitiveness. It will give a roundness and prominence to the back portion of the head, in the region of this organ in all those heads wherein it is fully developed. Thus, having explained its location in such a manner that all can decide upon it for themselves, in a general manner, we enter next upon a de- scription of its function. The precise meaning of the term PHILOPROGENITIVENESS 89 Philoprogenitiveness, is, the love of offspring. It is the true and only source of parental love ; consequently this faculty or its influence, is extremely necessary to the perfection of our social state, and the proper preservation of our chil- dren. It gives instinctive love for a weak and helpless off- spring, and is expressly adapted to the perfectly dependent condition of the infant and child. One fact, which shows that this faculty is entirely distinct from any other mental emotion, and is wholly spontaneous in its action, is, that this feeling is almost invariably in- creased in proportion as the object is weak and destitute, requiring the more care and solicitude. How much must we admire this peculiar characteristic of the mind, when we examine the pure field for the exer- cise of this organ. Of how much necessity and real utility is it in prompting the performance of those thousand little trifles, and often annoying services, demanded by regard, not only for the comfort, but very life of the new-born in- fant ; and not done coldly, as a matter of mere duty, but with gentleness and pleasure, caused by fond maternal love. It is a positive fact, that we find this faculty more active and excitable in mothers during the first months after delivery, when the situation of the infant is so completely dependent, demanding, in fact, unremitting attention, and at a time when its appearance, so far from inviting caresses or affection, (aside from the influence of Philoprogenitive- ness) prompts to feelings of disgust and dislike. The peculiar province of this faculty is to hold the mind of the parent to the child, as long as her care is necessary for its happiness and maintenance, the training and direct- ing of all its mental and physical powers, and giving proper stimulus for their growth and healthy action. This organ, we say, is a separate faculty of the mind, which is classed among the social feelings. No one can, with justice, pro- nounce its effects to be the result of reason ; for, we find it in some mothers, so powerful, so controlling in its actions, 90 MARRIAGE. as to cause the utter ruin of their loved ones, from indulg- ing them in their wishes, and doing that which will only confer a momentary gratification, notwithstanding intellect and judgment alike condt-mn such treatment as pernicious and imprudent. This faculty is well portrayed by one of our American poets, in his description of a woman travelling over the Green Mountains in a snow storm. She had an infant with her, which was found alive and well in the morning, being carefully wrapped in the mother's clothing. While the snow was drifting around her and her own nature was fast sinking, she vents the bursting feelings of her heart "O God !" she cried in accents wild, " If I must perish, save my child!" She stripp'd the mantle from her breast, And bared her bosom to the storm, And round the child she wrapp'd the vest, And smiled to think her babe was warm. With one cold kiss, one tear she shed, And sank upon her snowy bed. Even animals without intellect are passionately fond of their young, and take every necessary care of them, and manifest the strongest emotions of grief imaginable at their loss. It is said the whale will never leave her youn°- even after they are dead, so that when the offspring are killed by mariners, the capture of the mother follows as a matter of course. It was in the monkey tribe that Dr. Gall first discovered the organ. All who have any knowledge of this animal will testify, that love of offspring is a part and parcel of their very nature. In the following cut of the female Baboon, No. 11, very large Philoprogenitiveness is shown. This faculty (Philoprogenitiveness) was a marked trait in her character. She was peaceable and inoffensive if her young were wilh her; but evinced the most violent na.«;^ PHILOPROGENITIVENESS. 9 No. 11. when they were removed, and died from wounds inflicted in consequence of fighting for them. Neither can this trait of character be produced from any combination of the other faculties, nor from any one of them ; for, we see maternal fondness displayed in its strong- est and most decisive bearings by those who act as though it were a virtue to violate, not only the ordinances of God, but the laws of men. We often find, as about the only re- deeming trait of character, in some of the lowest and most abandoned females, whose actions and lives display a most horrid want of moral sense, a devoted love of offspring that no suffering can daunt—no privation destroy. Such persons, though dead to all shame and disgrace, and guilty of many crimes, have often times exhibited a devotion and lack of selfishness by sacrificing themselves in order to screen their offspring, that cannot fail to command our respect. The inference is clear, that, as it cannot proceed from intellect, nor arise from the moral sentiments, it must necessarily originate in a distinct faculty. A very old insane woman in one of our southern cities, who was a mother, was accustomed to wander about the 92 MARRIAGE. streets, and beg for bread. She was treated with harshness, and did not receive enough nourishment for the wants of f er own body, and hence could not give that sustenance to her babe necessary to sustain its life. So the poor baby died ; but the mother still carried it in her bosom until it was forcibly taken from her and buried. She found out the spot where it lay, dug it tip herself, and continued to carry it until she herself was taken care of by the magis- trates. " 'Tis the work Of many a dark hour, and of many a prayer, To bring the heart back from an infant gone." It ,s larger in females than in males ,• and their duties, together with their physical condition, call more largely for its exercise. All, and every one, admit this principle when considered practically ; for, no one thinks of hiring male servants to take charge of young children. Females are always selected. It will be seen of how much conse- quence this feeling must be in order to perfect the social arrangement, and thus add to the enjoyment of domestic life. This faculty should, by all means, be educated so as to harmonize with all the other mental faculties; for, when predominantly large and active, without proper restriction, its natural tendency would be to spoil children, from excess of kindness : they are not properly corrected and admonished, but their conduct approved, (by silence at least), even though guilty of actions decidedly rash, if not morally wrong. Or, if they attempt to exercise authority with promptness and energy, they fail like the woman who is represented in the female cut, No. 12. (See page 93.) Her little daughter asked her mother, (Mrs. Smith,) if she might go and get some strawberries with Susan. "No!" was the prompt reply. " But Susan has come for me, and I want to go with her." " Well, you cannot, so be quiet." The girl started, and said, " I will go, so there," and caught her bonnet and dish, and was proceeding. " Well," said the mother, as PHILOPROGENITIVENESS. 95 MRS. SMITH. No. 12. her daughter was going out door, tC Jane if you will gc, get good ones." Her Philoprogenitiveness and Benevolence were very large. Firmness, Self-Esteem, and Amativeness were small. She had very limited government, if any at all, and spoiled her children by indulgence. Tells them to do one thing, and then suffers them to break her commands, and do the opposite; gives good advice, but sets poor examples; and is so kind and fond of children, that she effectually spoils all she has the care of. In families where the father has strong Conscience, Firm- ness Self-esteem, and full Destructiveness, and small Social feelings, especially love of children, as in cut No. 14, his motto will be, "Spare the rod, and you will spoil the child " and punishment will be enforced for the violation of duty or command; but, let the mother be governed by an undue predominance of Benevolence and Philoprogeni- 94 MARRIAGE. A woman's SCULL. No. 13. tiveness, with deficient Firmness, while one chastises for transgressions, the other pays a premium upon them by the presentation of candy or some other acceptable gift—a sort of soothing ointment, that effectually cures all the be- nefits that would have resulted from the necessary disci- pline. Thus by the too great severity of the father, and the too kind soothing influence of the mother, the child is spoiled. Cut No. 13, is from a woman, the scull of whom is now in the Phrenological Cabinet, 131 Nassau-street. It exhi- bits an enormous organ of Philoprogenitiveness; and, as a natural consequence, it was an injury to herself and to her child, from excessive fondness. The following is her history :—She resided in Hanover. N. H. For a time, she was quite pious, and a member of the church. At fifteen years of age, she became a mother, and was abandoned. She would not, however, trust her child to the care of any second person ; but travelled the country, gaining a liveli- hood in a variety of ways—by begging, stealing, and pros- titution—always carrying her child with her. Numeious offers were made by charitable persons to educate and pro- vide for the child ; but no, she could not live deprived of her offspring, and so the child grew up perfectly ignorant. Owing to exposures and privation, the child sickened and died. The mother immediately became insane, and finally ended her davs in an insane asylum. PHILOPROGENITIVENESS. 95 No. 14. When Philoprogenitiveness is very weak, it leads to equally disastrous results, as children are then considered a curse and a plague—sometimes shamefully treated, and in- fanticide committed. This faculty is large in the heads of those males who are much interested in all expedients which have for their object the welfare and improvement of children, and who take peculiar interest in their educa- tion. When it is weak in woman, she lacks almost the pe- culiarities of the sex—at least, one of the most important ones—and, in consequence, would be bardly fitted to dis- 96 MARRIAGE. charge the duties of a married life, and entirely unfitted for those of a parent. We will now give a few anecdotes, which will serve to exemplify some of its functions and their necessity as here described. While on a tour through the state of New York, I became acquainted with a female, who boarded in the same hotel that I did, and was the mother of two children. I found her almost destitute of the organ of Philoprogeni- tiveness. Now mark the result:—The older child was of sufficient age to be sent away, and be taken care of by others, so as to give but little trouble to the mother—it being about six years old. The other was an infant, and, in fact, was murdered by its own mother—not by violence, but, just as effectually, by negligence. She would go out to visit; lock the child up so that others could not minister to its wants j would not take the pains requisite to ensure cleanliness, and the child became ill. She would tie it into the cradle; would not allow a physician's attendance, and in many ways subjected it to brutal treatment—thus finally causing its death. It was buried in the garden, and the woman ac- tually manifested joy at being rid of the " plague." 1 examined the head of a gentleman at Oswego, N. Y., in whom this faculty was small, and described him as being wholly indifferent to children, forming a marked defect in characrer, and concluded by expressing a hope that he was not a father, for he would be unable to sympathize with a family. " Well," said he, " I wish 1 was not also; for, to tell the truth about it, / hate the little brats; and, were it not for their mother, they would be shamefully neglected, for I cannot and will not be pestered with them." Another case : Examining the head of a female, in whom Philoprogenitiveness was but moderate, it was remarked that she cared not at all for children or pets—could not win their confidence, and would not be disposed to exert herself to do so; indeed, it was questioned whether she ever had taken charge of a child even for a moment. She said " You PHILOPROGENITIVENESS. 97 mistake—I did take charge of an infant once. Upon this occasion, I was visiting a friend, who wished very much to attend service, (it being on Sunday,) but could not on- ac- count of her child. 1 volunteered to attend to it, and it was left with me; but, no sooner had they left the house, than I gave it laudanum, and put it to sleep; and in that state it remained until their return home." How many mothers, and how many servants, give children laudanum to quiet them, to stop their crying, &c! thus seriously injuring their ner- vous systems, and oftentimes causing them to sink into a premature grave. This faculty is manifested in a variety of ways, and upon many different objects, when not gratified as a parent. The little girl exercises it upon her doll. The maiden lady upon her pet dog, or upon flowers. The man lavishes his upon horses, &c, Some years since, I examined three of six maiden ladies in Broadway, and gave them all large Philoprogenitiveness ; they said 1 was in error; for, they had nothing to do with children, and were not fond of them; but before I left, two or three lap-dogs came bounding into the room, and jump- ing upon their laps. " There," said I, "are your children, and the manifestation of your Philoprogenitiveness." They have since been married, have become parents, are extravagantly fond of their children, and their dogs are dispensed with. This anecdote proves that we often possess powers that we are not aware of ourselves, merely because circumstances have not been favorable for their develop- ment and exercise; and in this way Phrenology can be of great service to mankind, by pointing out our peculiar ta- lents It is quite generally admitted, at the present day, by practical Phrenologists, that there are two organs similar in function in this region of the head-that portion of the bran, located under the centre of the parietal bone, is devoted u> the manifestations of parental love, and fondness for infan tile human beings; while that portion located below the 98 MARRIAGE.' centre, next to the cerebellum, is devoted to love of pets and animals. The idea is quite probable, but not fully esta- blished. From the foregoing illustrations of Philoprogenitiveness, it will be readily seen, that great care should be taken in its culture, and proper direction ; and, those who are inter- ested in the welfare of the family, should pay particular at- tention to the development of this faculty in those who are selected as " companions for life ;" and, those who wish to procure the services of good teachers, will select those who have a large development of this organ. ADHESIVENESS. ANALYSIS AND LOCATION Another faculty in this group, and one highly important in its uses, which exerts an influence of the most extensive and necessary kind, in softening, meliorating, and uniting character, smoothing all asperities, is Adhesiveness. It is located between Combativeness and Inhabitiveness on the sides. The function of this faculty is friendship, at- tachment, sociability, that gregariousness of feeling which draws families together, and unites them in permanent bonds of affection. Through its influence, we prefer the society of particular friends and devote ourselves exclusively to them. It leads to intimacy, a free and unrestrained com- munication of thought and feeling, and desire to confide in, and rely on the object of our affection. This faculty is the foundation stone of society, of all so- cial relations and associations, where selfishness is not the reigning, ruling motive. It gives delight in the sweets of social intercourse—" the feast of reason and the flow of Bpul." It gives warmth of feeling and lively emotions— LOCATION of adhesiveness. QO No. 15. the energetic and cordial grasp ; the hearty shake of the hand, when friend meets friend ; the welcome smiles, the radiant glow to the countenance—and is the chain which connects and embraces man in one common brotherhood. Its influence is very extensive, especially when combined with other faculties, (see Fowler's Practical Phrenology:) when the moral and social faculties are equally excited, it gives rise to religious emotion. It is manifested regardless of sex, animate or inanimate, human or mere brute ; yet, where combined with the other social feelings, its action is more powerful when directed to the opposite sex. Those in whom this organ is large, are not contented without friends to love, and with whom to share their affec- tion__would never choose a wilderness life, or the hermit's cell • but are unhappy if their friends are absent from them. This innate principle of our nature is the secret charm of 100 marriage. correspondence between friends. " Like likes like." So those who have large Adhesiveness, seek the society of, and become attached to others possessing the same quality. " Oh ! there are looks and words that dart An instant sunshine through the heart— As if the soul that moment caught Some treasure it through life had sought." Said an Irish girl in our family, who was receiving the at- tentions of two paddies as lovers, and was at a loss which one to take, " I somehow warm up to Jake, more than to Mick." The reason was Jake had more Adhesiveness than Mick. Where two persons having it large, become devotedly attached, they remain so through changes of fortune, health, and physical appearance, and to the loss of all physical beauty and attraction, in many cases. In the village of P., a young gentleman appeared to be devotedly attached to a young and beautiful lady, whose parents were wealthy ; but, as the young man was not blessed with this world's goods, his suit was rejected by them. In the course of events the young lady met with a serious accident. Standing by a lighted candle one evening, her hair caught on fire, which she flung over her face from the fright of the moment. When her mother found her, she was insensible ; her face, neck and hands, were all disfigured by the scars. In reality, she was a most hideous sight. Her lover on hearing this, tried again to see her, but she positively refused to see any friends for more than a year. When her countenance assumed a more natural appearance, finding that he was still anxious and willing to unite himself to her, they consented, and to this day he has remained true to her; although her beauty was gone and she much disguised by her scars. Another case—a young lady and gentleman were enga- ged to be married. A short time before the day appointed for the consummation of their love, he fell from a building. His fine, erect, manly form, was now crippled, he was ADHESIVENESS. 101 hump-backed. He resigned his claim to the lady's hand; but she, like a true, devoted woman, would not permit this to be a barrier to their union. They have been united, and have lived happily together several years. Individuals in whom it is small, do not mingle in general society, or care much for particular friends and relations— prefer solitude, and are unsocial—cold-hearted, and never join any of the clubs or social gatherings of the day. They may marry, but they have other motives than those of friend- ship, are very little, if any company for their companion, or the family, and are like a gentleman whose head I ex- amined not long since. I told him I should be surprised to hear of his visiting with his wife more than once in a year ; and, if he did it then it would be more to please her than himself, or because he could not well avoid it. He replied " that it was as much as he could do lo go for her as often as that, after she had made her visit:" said he, " we have been married six years, and positively I have not spent three evenings out in the neighborhood visiting with my wife during that time." This would answer very well sup- posing they were both little disposed to visit; but, when two are united for life, one with Adhesiveness large and active, while the other has it small and inactive, their pre- dicament is as unfortunate as a married couple were, whose heads I examined in Massachusetts. Said I to Mr. C, " 1 hope you are not married." "I am," replied he, "and have six children." " Sorry," responded I. " Why 1" he asked. " Because," I replied, " you have not a social na- ture ; as a companion, your regards are too sexual and not sufficiently platonic, and you are no company for your wife and children; for your mind is continually occupied in matters distinct from the social relations. Your organ of Adhesiveness isthe smallest that I have ever seen. Not long after this I visited an adjoining town, and in the examina- tion of the head of a woman there, I said to her, " You are very warm-hearted, devoted in your attachments, very fcd 102 marriage. of society, particularly those of friends and relatives. I should suppose you capable of enjoying the married rela- tions much." At this point she burst into tears, saying, " You are right in reference to my capacity to enjoy married life and the society of friends, but in my present condition 1 am most miserable; for, I have been married twelve years, have six children, the whole care, and almost the whole support of which devolve upon myself. My husband never visits with me, and he has positively forbidden my receiv- ing the visits of any of my friends or relations ; so that I am not at liberty to go out and see my friends, or to see them at my own house ; and what is worse than all that, is, that my husband is no company for me ; he never sits down to converse with me, or manifests a social, domestic dispo- sition ; is most of the time away from home, and when home, is cold-hearted, dictatorial to the children, censorious, and never appears pleased when I attempt to please and gratify him." Said she, " I have often wished as did Job, ' that the sun had never risen on my natal day.' " I inquired his name, and, found it was the very Mr. C. who did business in B., the one who had the small Adhesiveness. This fact, for such it is, is only a living representation of many others that I might mention. I told a Mr. B. of Hartford, in whom Adhesiveness is small, that a few friends would be sufficient for him, and these must be in the domestic circle. He replied, that he had "kept house" seventeen years, and never remembered to have entertained at his own table but one individual, who was not a near relative of his, in all that time. I warn all, whether they believe in the doctrines of Phre- nology or not, as they value happiness in married life, and a pleasant fireside, not to marry where there is a great dif- ference in the size and activity of the organ under con- sideration : but more of this subject in the latter part of the book. ADHESIVENESS. 103 No. 16. Other faculties may lead a person to place a high value- upon another, may bring society together, and lead compa- nies to unite for selfish purposes ; but, no bond is so strong, no union so intimate as that produced by the affections, and particularly by Adhesiveness. Its influence is more permanent and lasting than that of Amativeness; the latter being more periodical, and influ- enced much more by age, circumstances, health, habit, and constitution, than the former. Adhesiveness begins its influence with the first develop- ments of the mind, and continues to act until death, while Amativeness is generally later in development, more ani- mal and less protracted in its influences. Adhesiveness fre- quently becomes a national characteristic. The Irish as a nation, manifest it in their promptness to defend the cause and character of their friends. The Hin- 104 Marriage. doo has less of it. The Scotch, as a nation, have it large, as is abundantly described in the writings of Burns. The clans of Scotland are a strong proof of its existence, joined with Combativeness. " Stranger, this Rhoderic Dhu, Is to me a kinsman dear, a clansman true And every word against him spoke, Demands from me avenging stroke." Cut No. 16 is an outline of the head of the British Queen, taken from a gold piece, and is undoubtedly correct. If so, it presents her Phrenology in a favorable light. The back part of the head is fully developed, indicating strong social and domestic feelings. Those who are acquainted with her most intimately, affirm that she possesses them in a high de- gree. Her Character and Phrenology harmonize well, being unlike the head of Catharine 2nd of Prussia. See cut 17. CATHARINE SECOND. No. 17. ADHESIVENENESS. 105 Her head, temperament, and physiognomy, are more mas- culine than feminine, and her whole life, and character cor- respond with this development. She had a very strongly marked forehead and a large brain, exerted great influence, and was uncommonly intellectual. Says Dr. Spurzheim, " No prince ever surpassed her in the endowments of useful and intellectual institutions, or the patronage of science and letters, and the promotion of the arts. She was gifted with uncommon abilities, both wrote and conversed with ease and dignity. Catharine's love of sway, and passion for glory, had the dominant influ- ence in her character. To gratify the first she made no scruples in breaking down all the barriers which common morality placed in her way. " In the pursuit of the second, she aimed at every thing that would raise her character in the eyes of the world. Sensuality (Amativeness being very large and perverted, while Philoprogenitiveness and Adhesiveness were compa- ratively small,) she indulged in without restraint, and in the pursuit of it, all the decorum and modesty of her sex openly gave way to the ' license of sovereign power.' " Had °her Adhesiveness and Philoprogenitiveness been more prominent, her love of power and sexual love less, she would probably have pursued the same course that Vic- toria did, by selecting some one to love and to be her law- ful husband, instead of allowing Amativeness to be gratified promiscuously. Adhesiveness and Self-Esteem give social ambition, a desire to extend acquaintances, and to be popularly known in society; when joined with the other social feelings it capacitates one to enjoy domestic life the family circle his own fireside, and a select number of choice congenial friends We have a beautiful illustration of Adhesiveness combined with both of the above classifications in the head and character of Henry Clay. 5* 106 MARRIAGE No. 18. His Philoprogenitiveness and Adhesiveness are particu larly large and active ; from the crown of his head back to the occipital bone, he is very prominent, and both the am- bitious and social friendly qualities, (which such a Phreno- logy ought to give), are strongly manifested in his counte- nance ; his popularity in a great degree depends on this combination ; for by it he has been able to make so many friends. Martin Van Buren is another with the same com- bination, and meets with the same success in making friends; he appears pleased to see any one who visits him, and is always ready to enter into social conversation with them; thus as men they gather many satellites around their path without reference to political tactics. This organ, as well as Philoprogenitiveness, is much stronger in the female than in the male. The friendship and attachment of a female have become proverbial; and it has been well remarked, that whoever has the friendship ADHESIVENESS. 107 of a female, is sure of the success of an affair in which she serves him. Upon this account the career of woman has been called the history of the affections ; and it was simply the predominance of this mental emotion over the animal passion in females, that caused Byron to sing, " No friend like to a woman earth discovers, So that you have not been, nor will be lovers." Every one must have wondered at and admired the devo- tedness, heroism, and strength of character exhibited by gentle woman, when governed by outraged affection. All must acknowledge the difference which exists in the social feelings of man as distinguished from those of woman. " Make her a slave. Steal from her rosy cheek, By needless jealousies : let the last star Leave her a watcher by yon couch of pain ; Wrong her by perpetual suspicion, all That makes her cup a bitterness,—yet give One evidence of love, and earth has not An emblem of devotedness like hers." The cause of this difference is written in their cerebral organization—the one originating in Amativeness, the other in Adhesiveness. Herein is the secret, and so far do they differ as these faculties are distinct in their influences. It is the open exercise of this organ which gives to our social relations new life and a rich coloring, refinement, courtesy, gallantry and all which shed lustre upon human nature in a state of companionship ; and it is the acknowledged pre- dominance of this feeling that gives to female society its elevating and ennobling characteristics. The continued happiness of married persons, of their families and mem- bers of society generally as social beings, depends much, if not altogether, on the proper and legitimate exercise of these faculties. 108 MARRIAGE. UNION FOR LIFE. Union for Life, is the name given to an oigan first disco- vered by Dr. Vimont, a distinguished French physician, while making observations on Comparative Phrenology. It is surrounded by Amativeness, Philoprogenitiveness, Adhe- siveness, and Combativeness. Its function is indicated by its name. It gives a desire to unite and concentrate the affections for life on some one individual, to share with that person all in life, and to be constantly in his or her society. Its combination with Amativeness, seeks one of the oppo- site sex ; it appears to be purely a domestic family quality, and acts only in combination with the social, domestic fa- culties. From my own observation 1 am disposed to believe in the existence of the faculty, and could cite many cases to corroborate the supposition, and have given it a location in my bust, symbolical head, and chart. It ties the knot of affection, and blends the interests of two congenial souls into one, thus exerting a cementing in- fluence ; and, the longer two persons with this organ large live together, the more they assimilate in looks, expressions, gait, and character. It constitutes the foundation of mar- riage, sustaining the superstructure until the objects are separated by death. Dr. Vimont found the portion of the brain, allotted to this faculty, fully developed in man ; and in all those ani- mals disposed to pair, but deficient in those of an opposite character. INHABITIVENESS. 109 INHABITIVENESS. OSCEOLA--LARGE INHABITIVENESS. No. 19. The last faculty to be analyzed, and one very essential to the completeness of the social system, has been described by phrenologists under the name of Inhabitiveness. It is located directly over Philoprogenitiveness, and sup- ported upon both sides by Adhesiveness. There will often- times be, found a bony excrescence arising from the closing and general roughness of the sutures. Occasionally, it is situated underneath this unevenness. Owing to this diffi- culty, there is more uncertainty in deciding upon this trait of character, than upon many others. A very simple guide in ascertaining its position correctly, is to trace out the oc- cipital and parietal sutures, at which termination it will be found. The establishment of this faculty and the under- standing of its function have been attended with difficulty, 110 MARRIAGE. and at the present time are not generally received by the phrenological world. Gall was disposed to ascribe its in- fluence to Self-esteem, and states that in the examination of the brains of animals, he uniformly found that those classes which voluntarily soared aloft—eagles, falcons, &c, and such as are accustomed to be found on the higher peaks of the mountains, far above the region where they are accus- tomed to live, such as the chamois—had the organ (Self- esteem) largely developed. In short, that the feeling in man which prompts to moral height, the elevation of autho- rity, &c, is but a higher gradation of the instinct of ani- mals, " giving a predilection for physical heights and alti- tudes." Spurzheim went farther than this, and recognised a distinct faculty under this name : but, in so doing, he clashes with the opinion and observations of Combe, who describes the same faculty as being but an adjunct of another under some modifications, called Concentrativeness, or a " tendency to concentrate the mind within itself, and to di- rect its powers in a combined effort to one object." This caused a difference of opinion between these great phrenologists, which, not leading to a satisfactory result, was suspended by Combe's remarking, " I am convinced that he [Dr. Spurzheim] has not correctly apprehended the quality of mind which I designate as Concentrativeness. This must, no doubt, be my fault; but it affords good rea- son for not prolonging the controversy." It has been long settled in the Author's mind, and constant observation is demonstrating more clearly every day, the correctness of the position, that we are endowed with two distinct facul- ties of the mind—Inhabitiveness and Concentrativeness : the one giving attachment to place, love of country, &c, the oth- er, continuity of mind and connectedness of purpose. There is much analog) between the relative position of Concen- trativeness and Inhabitiveness at the present time and that of upper and lower Inhabitiveness formerly, in both so far as regards organic position, difficulty of settling definitely inhabitiveness. Ill the operation of each, and the original blending into one of what in reality constituted two separate and independent faculties. Spurzheim and Combe are both correct and in- correct : Combe being incorrect in denying the existence of the one established by Spurzheim ; and Spurzheim equal- ly erring in repudiating the faculty correctly maintained by Combe—the shield being composed of both gold and silver, the very truth of their individual opinions causing them to be slightly prejudiced. Concentrativeness acts independ- ently of the feelings, partaking of the character of a govern- ing organ, while Inhabitiveness is intimately connected with the domestic propensities, and its influences recogniz- ed only in that particular sphere. Their relative position in the brain is found to correspond admirably with this pe- culiarity of action. The one we are describing (see its po- sition on the bust,) being surrounded entirely by the so- cial group ; the other being brought into close contact with Self-esteem, forms part of the directing- group situated in the crown of the head. The necessity for a primitive faculty, from which must result attachment to country, home, and residence, will be at once admitted when reference is had to the great variety of clime, of soil, and of institutions of which the earth is composed and filled. Every zone being intended for the habitation of man and animals, a propensity producing local love would be required in order to give contentment; and also to bind small numbers of human beings more strongly ° A fixedness of habitation is absolutely demanded for all improvements in the arts and sciences, in social and politi- cal institutions. If this should be admitted, as upon reflec- tion it must, how applicable would be the quaint old pro- verb now used in reference to restless, wandering, chang- ing individuals, when applied to nations, that "A rolling stone gathers no moss." Compare the Bedouin of the de- sert with the Anglo-Saxon-the wandering and predatory 112 MARRIAGE. nabits of the former, with the desire to be settled, the love of country, of the old homestead, so conspicuous in the lat- ter. The Arab race were originally far more enlightened than the natives of Britain. At one time, they were the intellectual teachers of the whole world. Their not retain- ing that position cannot be ascribed to lack of intellect now—but must be admitted to have been caused in the ab- stract from the deficiency of Inhabitiveness. This may ap- pear highly radical, but it is no less true. For more posi- tive proof, witness the rapid advance in civilization made by the barbarous hordes cf the Scythians, Goths, Visigoths, and Huns, immediately after settling in the south of Europe, and the consequent change of habits, as well in their thoughts and actions as in their manner of living. What can stimu- late to exertion more than the knowledge that our achieve- ments will be of service to those we love in the family, and their descendants, and will not be confined simply to our- selves 1 What can be more important to domestic life than the love of home 1 And in the formation of those ties which must eventually lead to a settled residence, particu- lar regard should be paid to the faculty which produces pleasure in such settlement, as without that a reverse state of feeling will govern our decisions and influence our con- duct. Cut No. 19, is a correct drawing from the cast of the head of Osceola, the celebrated Seminole chief, who died at Sullivan's island, harbor of Charleston, S. C, several years ago—his disease, a broken heart, caused by an over-action of the domestic attachments. The organs of Philoprogeni- tiveness and Inhabitiveness are very large in his head. He was never known to laugh after being deprived of his children. To the influence of the faculty of Inhabitiveness, which attaches us to our homes, we ascribe the whole, and as the only cause, of the Florida war; and the prominence of this faculty in the head of Osceola, coupled with his known influence in his nation, shows that the strength of SMALL INHABITIVENESS. 113 this love of home in one prominent man has cost the United States more treasure than the entire territory claimed is worth. The following cut of a scull, No. 20, represents the or- gan small, there being a depression precisely where in Os- ceola you notice a prominence. This drawing is from an individual who had travelled through Europe and America very extensively—a complete wanderer, and was at home any where. No. 20. A gentleman brought his little boy into my office, not long since, to obtain an examination of his head. I found he had small Concentrativeness, very small Inhabitiveness, joined with large Self-esteem and Firmness; hence, I re- marked to his father that the lad probably ran away from home as soon as he could get out of doors, and that unless he changed materially, would always manifest a roving, wandering cast of mind. " Yes," replied the father, " he commenced when he was two years old, and has continued to do so ever since." Said the father, " I have whipped him till the blood ran, all to no purpose; and only last night, I engaged an officer to lock him up in the watch- house, where he remained all night, and came from there, here to your office." There are others who are never con- 114 MARRIAGE. tented away from their homes. They must sit at their own fireside circle, or they pine, and are extremely unhappy, whether they are surrounded by friends or not. The Irish are particularly attached to the land of their birth ; and, although the tide of emigration is continually bringing them in swarms to our shores, yet there is no place half as dear to them as Erin's green isle. SOCIAL FACULTIES ANDTHEIR COMBINATIONS. The foregoing are the qualities of mind exercised in our social and domestic relations. They dispose us to unite in marriage and rear up families. They lay the foundation of society and lead to the formation and union of families, neighborhoods, cities, and more extensive associations, and unite mankind in those bonds of affection which are more dear to them than life itself. In domestic life they should have a leading and con trolling influence, yet in harmony with all the other facul- ties of the mind. This harmonious exercise of the differ- ent faculties is the true source of domestic enjoyment. When they all act in concert, happiness is the necessary result; and the more faculties we bring into this union, the greater will be the amount of pleasure received; but, if one faculty is gratified at the expense of another, we secure to ourselves both pleasure and pain in the same act. Asso- ciation is the bond of union everywhere, and more particu- larly so when applied to different faculties of the mind. Let Adhesiveness be gratified in harmony with the social feelings, by having all the family come to the table together and assist each other, thus creating general sympathy and gratitude, and the result would be much more favorable than : if each one should help himself to the best advantage with- SOCIAL FACULTIES, ETC. 115 out reference to each other's rights and wants. Let Com- bativeness and Destructiveness be exercised in defending family and friends, instead of their becoming angry at each other, finding fault and presenting obstacles to hinder others while they advance. So let Approbativeness and Self-Es- teem be exercised to save and raise the honor and dignity of each individual member of the family, rather than to be jealous of the advancement of each other, and strive to rule and act the part of dictator and leader. In the same way the intellectual faculties can be developed in harmony with the social feelings, by those who are best informed impart- ing their knowledge to the whole family, while they are all enjoying the heat from the same fire and guided by the same light: thus knowledge will become more equally diffused, and a far greater amount of happiness will be se- cured both by imparting and receiving instruction. In like manner the moral and social faculties can act in unison, by all coming around the family altar together, and reading a portion of the Word of God, in receiving instruction from the same source, all supplicating the Throne of Grace for common as well as individual wants, by all uniting in the song of praise, and going to church together as a family, and gently checking each other for any imperfections or misde- meanors, thus creating a general impression that the happi- ness and success of one are connected with that of the whole family, and that if one be disgraced, all are. Upon the same principle, all the faculties may be gratified in har- mony with self-control and self denial on the part of one individual, and a forgiving disposition on the part of an- other. OBJECTS ACCOMPLISHED BY Man's POSSESSING A SOCIAL NATURE. Having shown that man is endowed, as a social being, with capacities, susceptibilities, and capabilities for the en- joyment of domestic life, and having delineated the consti- 116 MARRIAGE. tuent elements of his social nature, we will next consider some of tfie objects to be accomplished by his sociality. FIRST : THE PERFECTION OF CHARACTER. Character is the result of mental manifestation or devel opment; and, this development or manifestation depends in a great degree, upon the social relations of life. For, as we come in contact with society, interchanging thought and feeling, we insensibly, almost, as it were, stimulate each other to action; we assimilate to ourselves the quali- ties and the characteristics of our associates j we bring out the hidden thought, the secret motives, and the latent powers. If human beings were a set of hermits, or anchorites, liv- ed in caves, and dressed themselves in the skins of wild beasts, they would still exhibit character, it is true, per- haps positive and distinct j but, many of the faculties would remain dormant, for want of proper exercise. Instead of the sympathy, sociability, and friendly intercourse which grow out of the acknowledgment of that great principle of social life, viz., that the whole race of mankind form one brotherhood: we should see the better elements of our na- ture incased by self-love and selfishness in their every Pro- tean form. It was intended by our Creator, no doubt, that mind should operate on mind ; that we should share each other's joys and sorrows, and help each other along in our journey through life. Character is formed by the action of one mind upon an- other. We say that every child has distinctive elements of mind, natural characteristics which serve to identify him, and which would be eventually matured as he advanced in life, and distinguish him from the rest of his fellow-men, even if secluded from all other society; but, thrown to- gether as people are in neighborhoods and communities, SOCIAL FACULTIES, ETC. 117 each one exerts its individual influence, and helps to form the character of others. The character of children may be said to rest in the hands of parents and teachers. Every word, act, and look of the parent, is noticed by the child and impressed on its mind, never to be forgotten. The mother, in particular, may exert a powerful influ- ence upon the mind of the child by carefully restraining the stronger faculties, and giving them proper directions; and also in stimulating and bringing into action those which are more weak and backward. If the mother is mild and gen- tle in her treatment, she will call into action those faculties in the child which give rise to a similar state of feeling and deportment that it perceives in her, and thus she may suc- cessfully stamp her own image upon her offspring. Hence the great importance of mothers being themselves well cul- tivated and improved in all their faculties. But suppose the child is destructive and malicious in its disposition, the mother, by unwearied pains and judicious treatment, may entirely change its character. Frequent appeals to its reasoning faculties, its conscience and sympa- thies, will be among the surest means of elevating its mind above, and strengthen it against, the impulses of its too pre- dominant animal nature. Every means should be employed to cultivate the moral faculties, and restrain the ruling pro- pensities ; and this can be done most effectually in the child by good examples. The mother must be herself its living and daily source of improvement. It will copy her. Therefore, she must never appear to yield in the least to those faculties in herself which are already too active in her child, but on the contrary strive to exhibit the higher and nobler characteristics in their most powerful and fasci- nating influences ; by which means she will not only mould her offspring for moral and intellectual enjoyment, but en- sure for herself a source of true felicity within her own happy home. 118 MARRIAGE. Teachers exert a vast influence over the minds and cha- racters of their scholars ; and this is a beneficial or danger- ous one in proportion to the degree of interest and attach- ment with which they are regarded. They leave a mark—an impress—on each pupil; or, rather, they do so if they faithfully discharge their high trust; and thus they become valuable assistants to parents in moulding the characters of their children. Children themselves influence each other— " One sickly sheep infects the flock." So, often the timid and diffident in sin, are encouraged, by associates more bold in vice, to commit depredations and offences they would not have ventured to do when alone. The malicious child has frequently brought rebellion and anarchy into a school where peace and quiet had reigned undisturbed. Why is it, that parents charge their sons and daughters with affectionate solicitude, to flee evil company, if they do not fear contamination to be the result of pernicious inter- course 1 The more interested a person is in domestic life, the more faculties he brings into exercise ; hence, the more charac- ter he develops, and the more fully he fulfils the destiny of his creadon. The social medium is one through which all the vari- ous elements of the mind, receive a full and proper stimu- lus, and are more sure to be developed than through any other. SECONDLY I INCREASE OF HAPPINESS. The greatest amount of happiness is the result of the pro- per and rational gratification of all the faculties of the mind. The proper gratification of one faculty produces happi- ness, but is limited to the degree of its exercise. Add to it another faculty, and that happiness is doubled ; and in pro- CONTINUATION OF THE HUMAN RACE. 119 portion as the number of faculties in harmonious exercise are multiplied, will the happiness of the individual be in- creased ; and in no condition in life are human beings so much in their element as in the social and family circle. Therefore we say, that the happiness of man was one of the designs of God in creating him a social being. First, because a greater number of faculties are gratified ; and, secondly, because they all receive a more healthy, combin- ed, and concentrated influence. Domestic duties elevate the mind, and give the superior faculties their legitimate control. thirdly: combination of power. Power is the result of mental concentration. The more mind theie is concentrated upon a subject, the more power there is to act, and the more influence is exerted. This is fully illustrated by a bundle of fagots: one being easily broken; but, when bound together, they resist all force and effort. We see whole neighborhoods, communities, and even na- tions advocating a cause the interest in which depends en- tirely upon the social nature of man ; and, in this way, power is increased incalculably. Let but the nature of man be properly directed, and the power of mind to influence mind will exceed description. fourthly: continuation of the human race. Nature is in a state of constant progression. Not a par tide of matter is lost; not an element that ever existed i» annihilated. Birth and death, nutrition and dissolution, are the order of nature ; and, of course, are recognised by her fixed laws, and dependant on legitimate means. Various are the causes and means of death and dissolu- tion ; and, through a variety of elements, do we receive nu- trition, to encourage the vital spark. But by one principle, and only one, as applied to man, are the laws of life gene- 120 MARRIAGE. rated; and that, too, by laws as permanent and fixed as any in the book of nature. As the principles of life and death are in the hands of man, so are those of generation; and, in order to qualify human beings for this agency, we find them organized male and female, with the strongest sym- pathies and attractions towards each other of which the mind is susceptible ; and one important result, arising from this divine arrangement, is, that man necessarily becomes more interested in the welfare of his fellow-man, and places a higher value upon his happiness and character. This law of reproduction is at the foundation of human sympathy. Inasmuch, then, as the existence and destiny of man depend on this agency, it behooves us to lay aside false delicacy and a fastidious taste, to look at this subject in the light of responsibility, and to inform ourselves with reference to our duties and obligations in this respect, and to act accordingly. The sexuality and sociality of man being among the fun- damental elements of his nature, he is laid under impor- tant obligations to himself and to his fellow-men, which he cannot neglect without violating the laws of his own being, and those due to society. We infer, therefore, that it is the duty of every human being, who is well formed and other- wise qualified, to place himself in the relations of a com- panion and parent. If the existence of any one or more powers places man under some obligations, then certainly the existence of those he possesses in respect to domestic felicity create a degree of responsibility equal to the importance of the marriage state. Natural advantages and blessings necessarily follow the obe- iience of all natural laws. One advantage in obeying this social law of our nature, is a consciousness of being in the way of duty. Another is, that domestic life furnishes a proper and healthy stimulus for the virtuous exercise of all our mental faculties, as well as the faculties of the body; still a third kS, that married persons occupy that position in society by EXCUSES, ETC. 121 which they possess more real character, exert more salu- tary influence, have more stability of mind, are generally more virtuous, more healthy, wealthy, and are more re- spected thah those who are not married. A merchant, Mr. K., from A., came into the city of New York to purchase goods ; he laid out all his money, think- ing he had purchased all he wished ; but, on looking around the store, he saw some articles that he wanted very much, but had not the requisite means to obtain them. He ven- tured to tell his story, and asked if they would credit him. The merchant in the store stepped in front, looked him in the eye, clapped his hand upon his shoulder, and said, " Sir, are you a married man 1" " Yes," was the reply. " Well, then, I will trust you." I do not say that this is always a safe guarantee to ho- nesty and truthfulness, but in this case, for the truth of which I can vouch, it proved so, and the result was favorable: be this as it may, we are of the opinion that the more married men we have in society the fewer crimes there will be. If we examine the frightful columns of our criminal calendars, we can there find a hundred youths executed, to one father of a family. Marriage renders a man more virtuous, and more wise, a better man, a more faithful citizen. The father of a family is not willing to blush before his children, nor to do those things which will bring a stain and disgrace upon his posterity. EXCUSES FOR NOT MARRYING Although most persons are ready to acknowledge that to marry is in accordance with the laws of nature and the fill- filment of one of God's purposes in our creation, yet, they themselves wish to be excused from particpating in it, giv- in* every shade and variety of reason by way of exculp* 122 MARRIAGE. tion, and among some of the more plausible we place the following: Say some, we cannot afford it; our salary per year is only five hundred dollars, or less, which could not possibly meet the expenses of a family. We have not the where- withal to buy furniture, pay rent, hire servants, and live in any kind of style. Neither can we support a wife, so that the alternative remains for us to marry a fortune, or not at all. This is an incorrect idea, a mistaken notion, to suppose that it should cost more for two persons to live together, than separately. - The fact is, both can be warmed by the same fire, read by the same light, and can combine their en- ergies and talents, so that not only better plans are formed, but they can so adapt their wants and necessities to each other, that rouch needless expense is saved. If the wife makes herself but a " bill of expense" to her husband, then there is something wrong, either in her early education, or in her standard of duty and obligation. When woman is educated as she should be, and understands her proper sphere of duty, and has the right kind of love for her husband, she will be a " help meet" to him ; helping to form a commit- tee of ways and means to assist him in various callings. She will gladly sacrifice for him she loves, and lessen his cares and anxieties by her economy and good management. But, it is not so much the actual expenses of the family that places a barrier in the way of many young men, as their own expensive habits. There are very many who spend from one quarter to one half their income to gratify needless and worse than useless habits, which not.only waste their money, but deoilitate their minds, impair their health, and generate disease, thus rendering themselves unable to earn more. If young men and young women would curtail their arti- ficial wants, and live more in accordance with the requisi- tions of nature, all could afford to marry and support fami- lies with more ease and less expense, than they now can ELEVATED AFFECTION. 123 afford to live alone. I believe it to be an indisputable fact, that honest and industrious married persons, actually lay up more money, and finally become more wealthy, than the unmarried. The excuse of another is, that it is too confining. Poor souls! they cannot go hither and yon where they please, and when they please, as in their blessed days of bachelor- hood, but must consult the second person, their weaker ves- sel, and be content to go and stay with her. Some cherish the idea that happiness exists in the highest degree where there is the least restraint; thus, many refuse to join or sanction any society or association, no matter how worthy the object, for fear of signing away their liberty; but 1 maintain that happiness arises from a proper restraint, rather than from an unrestrained gratification of the mind; and, if to be married does thus prevent excesses and encourage regular habits, then it is indeed a blessing to society that the divine institution exists among us ; for some of the greatest evils in society arise from irregularities and ex- cesses. When properly married, to be able to go home to an affectionate wife, and well legulated and governed family, is a source of the highest degree of pleasure; nor will the husband, if he loves his wife as he ought, desire to be absent from her society, or be able to enjoy himself as well any where as in the bosom of his family; any other arrange- ment than this would unhinge business, derange society, and scatter the seeds of discord, where harmony, concord, and love should dwell. If a man prefers the society of his clique, and absents himself from his family, it is a certain index that there is an under-current that is not what it should be. When pure, elevated, spiritual affection exists between the husband and wife, there is to him no place like home, the fireside circle, the domestic board; and as soon as a wife finds herself neglected by him who should be a guide, a confidant, and protector, and the society of others prefer- ed by him, she ceases, in many instances, to be that loving 124 MARRIAGE. wife and devoted companion ; for her ambition to render home either attractive or happy, is destroyed. She feels that her efforts are futile: that she is not ap- preciated by him for whom she would lay down her life, and make any sacrifice to gain his approbation and esteem, and to secure his happiness. There seems to me no motive which justifies a husband, under ordinary circumstances, in neglecting his wife; nei- ther the plea of business, nor even for the sake of doing good. Some gravely assert that they have no time to at- tend to social matters ; that their business engrosses their whole attention. If this really be the case, if a person has no time to obey the laws of his being, then he is not of much service in society; with all his business, such a man has very limited and incorrect ideas of his existence, and fails to enjoy that for which nature has qualified him. If we have not time to be social, we ought to take time; for no other obligations, save those to our Maker, are more binding than those which lay at the foundation of society, and involve the happiness of so many human beings. I cannot get any one to love me, is the sad excuse of not a few. Some in almost every community can be found of this class, who have tried in earnest, but in vain, to gain the affections of a partner for life. Such a man deserves our pity and commiseration. He has a desire to love, but can find no one to sympathize with him, or to return his affec- tion. His condition is most deplorable, and he must be an unhappy mortal. If an honest, true, and worthy man cannot secure a help meet, then he must be lacking either in a cor- rect estimate of his own powers, or he is ignorant of the ways of the world, or the nature and character of woman, and is certainly ignorant of the natural language of love and the manner of calling the affections into action. I cannot find any one to suit me, besides, the good ones an all married off. Some men in selecting partners for life, are like some women when they " shop." The variety of QUALIFICATIONS. 125 goods they see destroys their first choice, so that finally they are suited neither with, nor without anything, but de- sire all they see. There is such a thing as being too par- ticular and fastidious, so as to reject the very one best qualified for us. There were superior wives in the days of Spurzheim and Napoleon ; but, as sure as the laws of Phrenology and Phy- siology are correct and observed, there are now, and will be hereafter, as good wives, if not better, than even Josephine and others, so that no one need hesitate for this reason. QUALIFICATIONS FOR MARRIED LIFE.* The crowning object of married life is to perpetuate the race, and for this purpose were we created social and sexual beings; and parents are not only the agents but also the models for their children. Seed gives the stock or kind to be produced, while soil gives quality to every thing that grows; this law has its foundation in the nature of things, and is as extensive as any law in nature, and is as applicable to the human race as to plants, fruits, and animals. The fact that we are agents of our race, and that our men- tal and physical constitution, and the influence of circum- stances and education upon them, do furnish the elements in the organization of our children is established beyond a doubt We cannot be too well acquainted with those quali- fications and organizations capable of transmitting those qualities which we most desire in our children; and as per- fect children are the most valued and beloved, and as the laws of reproduction are unchangeable ; and as perfection is only in proportion to the obedience of these laws, we see that in order to secure our highest wishes, the almost imperious 126 MARRIAGE. necessity of our not only understanding, but complying with these requirements of nature. It will be my next object to point out the organization and qualifications necessary and important, as connected with good companions and parents. If we were as hpnest and careful in choosing companions for life as we are in business transactions, we should not then run the risks we now do; and the majority of those who marry would be comparatively happy; because each would be better suited, much more satisfied—would know better what to expect of the object of their choice ; because they would have a better understanding of each other. If we were to choose our companions, and marry phrenologically, and physiologically, the present course in matrimonial matteis would be looked upon as very imperfect, improper, and in many instances unnatural, if not immoral and dis- honest. Married as many are, at the present day, and as they have been in years past, they are much more liable to commit crime than though single, and their children grow up to curse them for their existence ; when, if they had been properly married, they would have made the best of companions and parents. The evils consequent upon these unphilosophical and unscientifical marriages, are, much of the social and domestic disarrangements, quarrels, separa- tions, and divorces of such frequent occurrence in society; but, guided by judgment and science, there is but little room for disappointment or dissatisfaction. Among quali- fications that might be mentioned, a few only will be no- ticed, and, FIRST: A WELL DEVELOPED PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ORGANIZATION, INCLUDING MATURITY OF BOTH. As companions and parents, these qualifications are indis- pensable. Nothing is done as it should be without them; as in after life the first movements will be regretted, while they will necessarily be destined to a course of life,'which THE PROPER AGE. 127 to them is a source of continual annoyance, if not dissatis- faction ; the above qualifications are necessary, because a full, complete, and healthy action of all the functions of the body and mind, is necessary in order to discharge the duties which almost inevitably fall upon married persons. The natural duties of man are never in advance of his natural qualifications ; and those who hurry, force, or try to outdo ) nature, do so, much to their disadvantage. Nature's time and ways are the best; and those who are premature in their plans in the commencement of life, are very apt to find a premature decay of those powers they then call into action. It is almost an every day occurrence that persons, particularly femaleSj hurry into married life before they are fully developed, either mentally or physically, before they have either judgment, reason, or experience. Several young ladies, hardly in their teens, in New York, 1 whose names I might mention, had an idea that it would be a fine and pleasing thing to marry, which they did, although contrary to the wishes of their parents; and, the conse- quences are disease, illness, dissatisfaction, and premature death. No precise rule can be given when every person ought to marry, only that none should think of so doing, until they have arrived at maturity. Both the mental and physical powers of some are developed many years before those of others ; yet, as a general thing, woman is as well qualified in development at twenty as man is at twenty-five ; but that age is rather early for the majority. Woman, after mar- riage, as a general thing, enters at once upon the duties of a p°arent; and, as society now is, has very limited oppor- tunities for mental culture ; and, as education is absolutely necessary in order to train and educate children properly, she should, before marriage, store her mind with useful in- formation. A young man who marries before he has come to years of discretion,^ like a mariner who pushes out to sea without 128 MARRIAGE. a compass, or even a knowledge of it. He takes upon him self the cares and responsibilities of a family, without even thinking what they are, and much less without making pre- parations beforehand to meet them. „ But persons should not only be old enough for a full de- velopment of their mental and physical powers, with an education adequate to their maturity, and a full knowledge of, and preparation for, all the duties devolving upon them in these near relations, but they should bear in mind that, in proportion as they are naturally deficient in any of the natural or physical elements, just in that proportion are they disqualified to discharge all the duties of married life. As society is, and as children are brought into the world, and educated, we cannot expect many perfect souls or bo- dies. Yet, if perfection be needed, or desirable anywhere, it is in these relations. And from the fact that the majority of persons are more or less imperfect, they are not prepared to appreciate perfection, if they should find it; consequently they should endeavor to select those whose imperfections would be the least inconvenient to them. If one parent be very deficient in any one thing, it is un- fortunate ; but if both parents are very deficient in the same quality, it is still worse, both on their own account and that of their offspring. • SECONDLY: A SOCIAL ORGANIZATION AND A DOMESTIC DISPOSITION. Of what use would it be for a person to marry or talk about social enjoyments, when he is destitute of those very qualifications on which that happiness depends. How could John Randolph, or a president Moore enjoy married life, when they hated even the sight of a woman % It requires a full development of the social feelings to enable a person to appreciate domestic duties, or to adapt himself to them. To marry, when the affections are want ing, would be like a man sick with a mortal disease, who engaged in business without capital or credit, and against a ADAPTATIONS FOR MARRIAGE 129 violent opposition:—like putting the feet to a cold stove to warm them:—like a bird which attempted to fly with clip- ped wings:—or like a man who attempted to do that for which he had no capacity. A good and warm-hearted man in New Hampshire, mar- ried a woman who was not only cold-hearted but disquali- fied, particularly in the faculty of Amativeness, to appreci- ate the feelings of her husband, or adapt herself to them; consequently she failed to make her married life agreeable, and thus effectually destroyed her own happiness, and also that of her husband. Many parents are so deficient in the organ of Philoprogenitivenessl that they consider their chil- dren as so many plagues and curses. In many cases, as I have elsewhere remarked, I have known them to wish their children dead, and have used the means to get rid of them. I have spoken previously of the evil consequences of small Adhesiveness, and will not enlarge here. THIRDLY: SELF-GOVERNMENT AND DISCIPLINE. Without some restraint, a family is like a horse without a driver or a bit, a ship without a rudder, a church without a priest, a nation without a ruler, or a day without a sun. They are as necessary as a table in a kitchen, or chairs in the parlor. The evils of green wood, a smoky house, a scolding wife and crying children, are not half as bad when they are all joined together, as the absence of self-government and mental discipline ; for, without them, we have all the above-mentioned evils, and in fact more ; for, in domestic arrangements there would be a want of every thing that is convenient, appropriate, and desirable ; an abundance of every thing as it should not be, and nothing as it should be. Self-government is absolutely necessary to government in a family ; and if as parents, our own minds are not trained and disciplined, we cannot succeed in training and disci- plining those of others. Without these qualifications a 6* 130 MARRIAGE family is always on the extreme. You never know where to find them, or what to depend upon ; "they are full of variableness and shadows of turning." Easily carried away by every change and tide of doctrine ; not having the powtr to regulate their own affairs or to steer their own course through life, they allow all their neighbors, who wish, to help them; one day listening to the advice of one, and the next, perhaps assenting to some thing entirely the converse of it; thus confusion is the order of the day; too late for the boat, too late to church, never quite ready or in season ; easily tempted, easily influenced, like a man in Augusta, Ga., who came forward at the close of a temperance lecture, and there expressed a wish to re-sign the pledge for the sixth time ; saying that he was determined now to keep the pledge good, although he had previously broken it many times, yet he would by the help of God do it no more. In a week afterward I found him intoxicated by drinking Thompsonian hot drops, with the bottle in his pocket, giv ing only the meek excuse, that an old friend of his invited him to drink, and he could not say no. FOURTHLY : INDUSTRY AND GOOD HABITS. Without industry there is no continued success; where industry exists in a family, it is sure to thrive, and not be dependent on others for support. Idleness produces many evils: it is the road to vice and bad habits. Industry is the mother of plenty, and makes man cheerful, happy, and blessed. Industry and good habits combined, lead to health, wealth, honor, and plenty, and secure the confi- dence and respect of friends and associates, while idleness and bad habits destroy them all. It matters not how many good habits a young family may have ; for, there are many which greatly facilitate business, and add much happiness to the family enjoyments. But, bad babits are a stain and a curse on any family. There are some habits which have a direct tendency to INDUSTRY AND GOOD HABITS. 131 destroy connubial enjoyments ; and, where they exist, mar- riage should positively be prevented. Young ladies, who have formed habits connected with the pernicious customs of the day, are not the best persons for companions or parents. Their attention to extremes in dress, in fashion, their artificial airs, their studied hypocrisy, their idleness, irregular habits, false and imperfect ideas of i beauty and perfection; their tight-lacing, and their wrong standard of character, all tend, directly and indirectly, to destroy the qualities which are indispensible prerequisites for constituting good companions and parents. As an ho- nest and scientific man, I would never encourage young men to seek the hands (for hearts they have none for aught but fashion), of such ladies for the purpose of marriage. I would as soon be the means of sending an honest young man among the enemies of his peace and happiness as to encourage his marriage to a fashionable coquette. Young men, perhaps, are in greater danger of forming habits more injurious to domestic peace anti comfort than young women ; and, in them, should be more severely re- buked ; because they become the head of the family, and are looked up to and regarded as examples in domestic life. Besides, the pernicious habits of young men are, if possi. ble, more expensive, unhealthy, and demoralising in their influence, than are those of the other sex. Among the worst of these habits, we will enumerate those of idleness, intempe- rate use of intoxicating drinks, smoking, chewing, and snuff- ing tobacco, the taking of opium, licentiousness in every form, gambling, swearing, prodigality, and the keeping late hours at night. Rather than encourage such young men to marry, I would see the human race very much reduced in numbers, by compelling them to remain single for life. I would soonersee all honest young women with- ering away as " old maids" than wrong them so much as 132 MARRIAGE. to encourage marriages between them and young men who indulge in the above-named practices. That such habits do have the most alarming and degrad- ing influences on the minds and bodies of young men, and are directly calculated to poison and corrupt all the sources of connubial felicity, as well as entail upon themselves and their innocent offspring the most fearful calamities, diseases, and premature deaths, in numerous ways, needs no proof more clear than is afforded by the lives, characters, and confessions of thousands of those who have had the bitter experience of their blighting effects upon their own physi cal, mental, and intellectural endowments, and by the in- describle wretchedness they have brought into so many fami- lies and communities. But, distressing as these revelations prove them to be, the evils do not commonly end with their own generation; but, by a law of hereditary descent, they generate the same evil propensities in their offspring, and thus perpetuate them, from generation to generation; so that from one degraded and miserable slave to vice, hun- dreds and thousands are ruined. So far are such persons from being qualified for the high responsibilities of the mar- riage duties, they are a curse to any community; for their influence upon others, be it ever so little, is all evil, and that continually. Said a young man to me, " You have three times prevent- ed me from being married. I have seen, that in every case your judgment was better than mine, and I shall not now marry without your consent." Said another, " By coming to you and procuring an examination of my head, I have lost my intended. She says she will not marry such a head as mine." The fact is, that the examination led to the de velopment of his real character, which was any thing bui an amiable or desirable one ; so she forsook him as she would an enemy, and never will* cease to remember with joy the fortunate day when she came to my office with him EDUCATION. 133 Said a young woman, " You have been the means of my not getting a husband ; for, the only chance 1 have had for these ten years, was from a young man whom you advised not to marry me ; and now I am doomed to live an old maid." Many other facts of a similar nature, might be mention ed ; and, in every instance, within my recollection thus far, where my advice has been taken, the parties most concern- ed have been perfectly satisfied ; and, in every case where they have not followed it, they have repented it bitterly ; but, alas ! when it was too late to untie the Gordion knot. These, with hundreds of other facts that are continually coming under our observation, satisfy us that a knowledge of the human organization will render incalculable service in directing our minds to proper persons for companion- ship, and in recognizing those qualifications which are de- sirable and necessary in the respective parties to ensure do- mestic enjoyment in the married life. FOURTHLY: A PROPER EDUCATION FOR DISCHARGING ALL THE DUTIES INCIDENT TO MARRIED LITE. That, an education which will fit persons, for domestic duties, is as necessary as it is for any other department of life, is self-evident; yet, such an education is by many al- most entirely neglected, and by a vast majority too much so. Although the marriage state is one which is designed for wise and important purposes, and by the fulfilment of which man gratifies some of the strongest desires of the human mind ; yet, as a general thing, we are as poorly qualified for it by mental training and information as for any other condition in which we may be accidentally placed. We use double the means to obtain the object than to qualify ourselves for enjoying it when obtained. When 1 speak of education as being adapted to the social department, I have special reference to a well disciplined mind to an experimental acquaintance with domestic labor, 134 MARRIAGE. and a familiar knowledge of household matters and duties ; they should be able to sympathize with those engaged in domestic affairs, by an individual experience in the same matters. Every young lady, whether she be rich or poor, espe- cially if she anticipates marriage, should be as familiar with the necessary duties of the family, as she is with the keys of her piano ; and much more than with the fashiona- ble acquirements of the day; for none can fill the sphere of a companion and parent, until they are intimate with household labors, are capable of arranging family matters, and supplying their own wants, particularly in the line of making garments, preparing food, &c. It will not do in this country to depend upon the slightest tenure of proper- ty ; for it is an .every day occurrence that wealth takes wings and flies away. To be dependent upon the milliner, the cook, and domestic, (which in our cities are mostly of the lower, and ignorant class,) is a slavery to which a truly independent mind would never be willing to submit. And yet, scarcely a day passes over our heads, but many young women take this too often unhappy step, without under- standing even the common rudiments of house-keeping. Young men, with their eyes blinded, by beauty and wealth, or accomplishments which are generally laid aside and for- gotten after marriage, frequently hurry on the wedding day, but find that they have but a painted doll, a mere automa- ton in the great drama of life. Young men also are fre- quently through ignorance, as poorly qualified to discharge their duties in the domestic department; and when thus disqualified, they are thereby incapable of adapting them- selves so agreeably, or to appreciate the peculiar feelings of a wife in her various circumstances. They will, as hus- bands, expect as much at one time as another, and fail to make those allowances which the nature of the case requires, be less qualified to adapt themselves to her in those various changes of circumstances. Where this is the case the wife POSTERITY. 135 p-.nes away, grows pale and languid, and Hot unfrequently becomes discouraged and broken-hearted. What^should we think of a man who, the first time he steps on board of a vessel, declares himself able to take command, pushes off, and raises sail for a foreign port. All would join in saying that he was rash and unwise, and that he cusht first to make himself acquainted and familiar with the ri^ring of the ship, and the use of all the instruments on board. No one will hesitate in predicting to him a rough if not a dangerous passage, and would be unwilling to embark with him. How many are there in married life, who make a fatal shipwreck of all they possess, simply because they do not understand how to steer and balance the matrimonial ship. To manage a family well, and adapt one's self success- fullv to a companion, is as much an art as any thine else, and requires as much preparation, skill and judgment, and much more presence of mind, patience and common sense, than any other conditions of life. Parents do their children a great* injustice by neglecting the instructions of their sons and daughters in these matters, which are so intimatelv connected with their future success and happiness in this "life. The details of that education cannot be dwelt upon here. We should marry with regard to posterity, as well as to our individual happiness. The fact that society is affected bv hereditary influence, is established beyond a doubt. Every farmer in the country is prepared to admit the gen- ial principle as applied to animals; and, everyone ac- quainted with history, is obliged to admit the fact as ap- plied to man. Children, then, are as they are made by others, and not as they make themselves ; and if they are imperfect, they suffer the consequences through life. And as thp laws of reproduction are unchangeable, and the men- tal and physical organization the necessary result of law, and those laws in the hands of parents, it lays them and all 136 MARRIAGE. who expect to be parents, under strong morai obligations duly to appreciate the result of their labors. If society be not affected by hereditary influences, and if the next step after marriage were not parentage, then it would be less important to think of, or care for the future, in those particulars. But as things now exist, it is not suf- ficient for those who intend marriage, to consult their own individual happiness, but they should also consult that of posterity. If this were the case, each generation would be an improvement on preceding ones. At present, however, the majority of society, from all appearances, live only for selfish purposes, regardless of the consequences to posterity; and thus, the improvement of the race is much retarded, man is degraded, and God dishonored. LOVE: WHAT IS IT 1-^HOW SECURED, HOW RETAINED, AND ITS NATURAL LANGUAGE. The term love, is applied so universally, abstractly, and generally, that it means almost any thing that we may wish. It has every variety of signification, every shade of meaning which any one has a mind to attach to it. The term love, as it is generally used, is applied to all pleasur- able emotions, whether physical or mental. It is a com- mon thing to hear the terms, love of food, love of friends, love of dress, love of poetry, love of music, love of study, love of fun, love of justice, love of God, &c, &c. The term " perfect love," as applied to a true union of two in marriage, is something more than the above. It comprises more than all united loves. It is something that cannot be bought or sold, weighed or measured, seen or handled, lent or borrowed—use only brightens and strength- ens it; age gives it intensity and power of action j it never wearies nor faints, it never forsakes nor forgets, it never PERFECT LOVE. 137 slights nor trifles ; it never wears a false smile, nor assumes false colors. It is always warm, alive to sympathy, smiling, pliable, gentle, humane, disinterested, and devoted. It is constant, uniform, and unchangeable ; all admire and de- sire it, yet few possess it. It can be had without money, or labor ; and yet thousands would sacrifice their fortunes to obtain it. Without it, mankind are miserable ; with it, perfectly happy ; without it, society is unstrung; with it, society is united like a band of brothers; without it, law is of no avail; without it, there are no pure family enjoy- ments ; with it, the family circle is a paradise on earth. With it, man is contented; without it, he is like a feather on the wind. Those who are fully imbued with it, are honest, virtuous, industrious, moral, refined, and elevated in feeling and conduct, and are happy and contented. Those who do not possess it, are discontented, unhappy, irre- gular in their habits and feelings, and more or less inclined to wander and yield to immoral practices. Married persons who love each other always live together agreeably. Those who do not, are at variance ; frequently have disputations, abuse each other beyond endurance, and separate as enemies. Love embraces many qualities and conditions. It is on a graduating scale. It commences with the physical; and, when perfected, ends with the spiritual. With many, love goes no higher than the physical qualities ; but, with a few, ■the physical has less charms than the mental. Spiritual love is enjoyed where one mind is united to another in a union of sentiment and affection which no external defects can dissolve. Physical love arises from the appreciation of physical qualities, and the enjoyment of a phys.cal union. Perfect love is a union of these two (physical and mental), with spiritual love in the ascendency, overruling and bring- ing into harmonious subjection all the propensities of our nature to the moral and intellectual faculties ; or, in other words it is the result of the union of two congenial spirits, 138 MARRIAGE. in which all the faculties of the mind are gratified accord- ing to their legitimate natural functions and strength. Much is said, at the present day, about spiritual love; also, of a first and only love ; and their superiority over all others. Some affirm to me, that their love is purely spirit- ual ; that they have no sympathy with the physical; but, in my opinion, such a mind is not well balanced ; for, as long as we have a physical organization, we need a mind adapted to it; and, as many of the social duties of life re- quire physical love, it is only in harmony with our natures and duties to possess it, and allow it to have its due influ- ences in the mind ; yet held in subordination to the higher elements. It is a mistaken idea, that because we have loved once, and been disappointed in that love, or the object of it re- moved from us, that our souls, that were made for love, should remain desolate for ever, and, like Noah's dove, be without an object upon which to fix our affections. Perfect love, as manifested in the perfect union of the male and fe- male mind, in the proper and natural display of the social and domestic feelings and duties, cannot exist except by the union of the physical and metal faculties. We may re- gard friends, independently of the sex, with purely spiritual feelings ; but, persons possessed with this feeling alone are not qualified for married life and parental duties; and they should not place themselves in those relations unless they can unite with individuals of the same cast of mind. I have yet to be convinced that a union cannot exist in as harmonious and perfect a degree in the second or third marriage as in the first, and frequently more so. My ob- servation and experience are the reverse of the above doc- trine of " one love, and only one." A particular friend of mine, who lives with his third wife, is now, if possible, more attached to the last than he was to the first or second This is the experience, too, of very many with whom I have conversed. CONFIDENCE. 139 I grant that the love one companion bears to another is very different from the friendship existing among friends, even of the opposite sex ; yet, when that companion is taken away by death, I do not see why the affections may not find a resting place upon another of equal or even su- perior attractions, and the same feelings and functions of our nature. It is no doubt true, that in order that a perfect union may take place, Ihere must be a natural and honest exhibi- tion of the real native elements of mind, adapting each to the other in all the particulars requisite for perfect love. When this is done, they become united in their mental and physical qualities and desires, which are similar in each other, upon the strongest principles of connubial felicity. Too much candor and honesty in forming such a union, therefore, cannot be used toward each other. Such love is secured and perpetuated first by having perfect confidence in each other ; for, with that firmly esta- blished, imperfections may exist, and the charm of wedlock not be broken. Confidence is a sustaining element of all unions and alli- ances. Peace and war—trade, commerce, teaching, heal- ing, and all kinds of business, both great and small—are successful in proportion as confidence exists between the parties ; and it is more strictly true in a family union and copartnership than in any thing else ; for the partnership is more intimate than any other that can be formed—more binding and more durable. The moment one of the parties begins to lose confidence, that moment is the beginning of sorrow and misgivings. The seeds of dissention are sown, and if allowed to be matured, and brought to a crisis, trou- ble is the consequence. Two persons who have not perfect confidence in each other, ought not to marry, no matter how favorable other circumstances are; for, with all other things agreeable, if there be a want of confidence, the most essential ingredient is wanting. If no other excuse could be rendered by a 140 MARRIAGE. young lady for refusing her hand in marriage, that of not having confidence in the gentleman who makes the offer, would, and ought to be, a sufficient one. Sometimes we find an engaged couple have what is called a " love spat," and afterward make up and marry. Such marriages cannot be the result of a perfect union; for, with a limited acquaintance they failed in confidence, but in order to marry, have put an ointment over the wound, and healed it just long enough to be pronounced husband and wife, only to break when there is no remedy or deliverance. Such marriages may be legal but not valid according to the order of nature. The law may bind two individuals to live to- gether as husband and wife ; but it does not produce that spiritual union, that concord of feeling which make it a pleasure to bear each other's sorrows and woes, and go hand joined in hand, and heart joined to heart, through the journey of life. Although I would not say that there should be no legality, no public sanction, no outward form and ceremony in marriage ; yet I do mean to say, that the legal tie, forms, in many cases, scarcely any barrier to the flood- gates of licentiousness and infidelity, and is no sure guaran- tee for constancy, purity, and faithfulness on the part of those who are held in bondage by it. Let us have the legal tie, but let us also have the marriage of the soul, the union of the affections. Animals that pair, are not at variance with each other. " Each pair, and each pair build a nest." There is scarcely an instance where they are unfaithful or untrue. The swallow chooses his particular mate, and with her rears his young, and protects her and them from all foreign foes. The eagle brings no stranger bird to his eyrie, but is true to his choice ; and so of all other birds. Another means of securing and perpetuating perfect love, arises from a proper adaptation of one to the other ;' not that each should possess every element and menta1 quality DISSIMILAR ORGANIZATIONS. 141 of the other; for, the one may have a mental deficiency that is to be supplied by the other. The two positive or negative poles of the battery are not brought together in or- der to produce the desired effect; but the charges must be different: one must be positively, and the other negatively charged with electricity. Two clouds may float together for days and weeks in the blue expanse above us, if they have an equal amount of electricity ; but let one be posi- tively filled with the gaseous fluid, and the other negatively, and we see the result. They assimilate or unite one with the other in action, and bring about some result. So in married life, the character of each may be modified by some quality or influence in the other. Where the general de- sires, feelings, pursuits, tastes, and enjoyments do not clash, there may be sympathy for each other and an instinctive desire to conform and adapt themselves to the peculiarities of each in the various relations in which they may be placed : in other words, to be " help meets" with a common bond of sympathy; although there are still many discre- pancies in other things. If the husband be harsh, coarse, and vulgar, and fails to adapt himself to his wife, who may be refined, delicate, and sensitive, or vice versa, there is a natural difference which cannot be easily overcome, though the one may be disposed to accede to the other's wishes : hence the necessity of there being a similarity of organization, that will not allow of opposite desires, habits, and tendencies of mind. Another medium through which pure affection is secured and promoted, arises from proper treatment and behavior. Our first object should be to secure respect. This is done by proper appreciation and treatment. A companion should be regarded as an equal: both are entitled to the same re- spect, privileges, enjoyments, and liberties, which should be a predominant idea in domestic life ; this done, and both are equally interested in all that concerns the family, and are equally united in all their .plans and labors. Selfishness 142 MARRIAGE. and exclusiveness in one, excite similar feelings in the other; when this is the case, the husband and wife have se- parate purses, their own individual enjoyments, separate in- terests, objects of pursuit and amusement, and their own company, however offensive to the other; because it has now become a matter of selfishness. The question has been frequently asked me, " Supposing a person, should, after marriage, find himself united to a being who is not a con- genial spirit, what shall he then do 1" To this query I would say, make the best of a bad bargain. There will be gener- ally some redeeming trait in every character however mar- red, degraded, or depraved. The thoughts should centre upon this trait and the differences lost sight of. A lady in one of our southern cities, who is more in- terested in literary pursuits than in the affairs of domes- tic life, is united to a man much older than herself, whose mind is satiated with more gross materials ; she is fond of reading, is sensitive, refined, and susceptible in her feelings, while he is blunt, common-place, and uninteresting ; yet he has most devoted love for her, and almost worships her with affectionate regard. She thinks she cannot love him because his tastes and pleasures differ from hers, but as long as he is kind and attentive to her wants, she should consider it her duty to requite his love with love in return, and not waste her life in useless repinings and aspirations after something she has not found. It would have been better and wiser if she had never entered the matrimonial state ; but when the door has once been entered, we should endeavor to conform as far as possible to our mate, pluck- ing the roses, and leaving the thorns and briers that may spring up in our path. If we see defects and deficiencies they are never remedied by contemplating them, or expo- sing them indiscreetly to others, or even to our bosom and intimate friends. Perfect love is secured by having and manifesting an ele- vated standard of love, and by modifying the more animal LOVE, ETC. 113 feelings by the reasoning and moral sentiments. Love, as it is generally exhibited in courtship, and after marriage, is too physical, animal, contracted, and selfish. The more in- tellectual and moral qualities are lost sight of, or obscured by tb.e mere animal and physical qualities, whatever feel- ings are predominant in the one most active, will excite and bring out the same qualities in the other : thus in many instances, to all appearances, the best and most refining qualities are permitted to lay dormant through life. Many of my readers are no doubt familiar with the fact that persons who are married for the second, third, or fourth time, manifest different characteristics each time, upon this principle, that different persons call into action different mental qualities, and gwe little opportunity for the manifestation of other faculties. If the more active and influential of the two is moral and virtuous in feeling, and cir- cumspect in conduct, the natural influence of that mind on the other will be to bring out the same qualities and to re- strain opposite tendencies of mind ; but, let the more active one be less moral, virtuous, and refined, and the tendency of that influence is the reverse, and different qualities of mind are brought out in the other character, and so on of all the various influences brought to bear on the mind. Again : let the more influential one have a due proportion of oo0th spiritual and physical love, with a well-balanced mind, and the influence will be more salutary and extensive. Perfect love and union are secured by understanding one's self mentally and physically, so as to be able to de- cide to the best advantage what kind of an organization would be best adapted to our own ; without this knowledge our judgment is biased, and our object seldom obtained. No young man is truly qualified to make a proper and ju- dicious selection of a companion, without this thorough ac- quaintance with himself; and the same might be said of the other sex. . „ . This knowledge at the present day, especially, is not very 144 MARRIAGE. difficult to be obtained ; and every young man and woman . who have common abilities and industry, might have the means, if properly used, to purchase all the books on this subject, and all the time necessary to read them, and make inquiries and observations requisite to perfect themselves in this department of knowledge and science. Many men of my acquaintance, ignorant or regard- less of the laws of physical and mental organization, have selected companions not at all adapted to their condition, and made the discovery when it was too late, which might have been avoided, had they understood their organization before their choice was made, but who now have to suffer the inconvenience of their ignorance during their whole life, while the object of their choice, equally unfortunate, might have been perfectly adapted to some other one. Thus society is composed of wretched thousands, to be relieved from their unhappy bonds only by divorce or death. If the evils of an unhappy marriage can be possibly avoid- ed, they ought to be by all means; for, miseries in a family sap the very foundation of all happiness and enjoyment. It is as easy for us to become acquainted with the ele- ments of our own natures as of any other subject or science, and the knowledge is of as much importance and benefit; for, when we thoroughly understand ourselves, we are then not only able to decide what is necessary in the organiza- tion of another to be properly adapted to us, but we are able to decide as to the qualifications of persons as soon as we come in contact with them, thus saving the trouble of find- ing out by sad experience what it is to be improperly united But to know ourselves and others correctly, is not suffi- cient ; we need proper self-government and presence of mind to act according to that knowledge, and to be guided by it in the selection of companions. In order to secure perfect love, and enjoy all its bless- ings, we should be guided by an elevated standard, one LOVE, ETC 145 based upon the most important and desirable objects and qualifications of love. But on the contrary, those persons ignorant of the differ- ence between the inferior and superior qualities, will be as liable to be influenced by the inferior as the superior; by physical as well as mental; by the external trappings, as by internal truth ; by the enchantments of dress, as by the real, living elements; by art, as well as by nature. A dimple in the cheek or chin, a certain color to the hair or eye, a peculiarly shaped hand, foot, or waist, an eccen- tric way of looking, laughing, walking, talking, singing, or playing, a certain profession, so much money, or such a rank in society, will be a sufficient attraction for them to jeopard their happiness for life. Guided by the animal, they would as soon " fall in love" with a painted face, a finely dressed head, a compressed chest, a false bust, a fine dress, or form, as to prefer the amiable and affectionate dis- position, a high standard of virtue and morality, correct principles, good intellectual powers, a well trained and balanced mind, with the age, knowledge, and experience necessary to discharge the duties of a companion and pa- rent. That, in either sex, which creates the greatest interest in the opposite party, is the thing which indicates the stand- ard of the person thus interested. The fault of young people in these matters, arises from two sources, 1st: Their love is too physical, animal, and selfish 2nd: They take too contracted views of married life, of its duties, and responsibilities. They are urged for- ward too much by blind impulse to a state from which too many would gladly return, if the thing were possible. All love has its results and effects on the parties concern- ed. "By their fruits ye shall know them." Perfect love is signalized for its influences ; for it casts out all fear. It purifies and elevates the mind, and desires ; it stimulates to purines a u sino.leness of eye, purity of desire, and f^lt^X^- of P-A, which doe, no,, aoo 146 MARRIAGE. cannot exist without it. It is a friend to virtue, to temper- ance, to industry, honesty and domestic enjoyments. Two persons devotedly attached, have no occasion to use artificial means and airs to entertain each other; they have no desire to gossip and tattle about their neighbors; for, an exchange of their own thoughts, opinions, and feelings will be a sufficiently faithful source of entertainment and enjoy- ment. They will have no occasion to exert themselves to love and value the welfare of each other, or. of continually purchasing each other's affections, and endeavoring to retain them by costly or desirable presents. It will not be neces- sary for either one to make pretensions to greatness, wealth, or elevation; for, true love is based upon what really exists. Two kindred spirits cannot help loving each other, if they will allow their minds to follow their natural inclinations; for, their minds, feelings, sympathies and affections, will as surely run together and mingle, as that two drops of water from the same fount will unite. Artificial, or pretended love, talks loudly, largely, and fast, and has many pretty smiles, and graceful movements. Real love says but little, and that in a low, soft and gentle tone of voice, the adhesiveness of one inclining to that of the other. The object in visiting each other before marriage, should be, t(f compare notes, to become acquainted with each other's capacities, education, circumstances, inclinations, and de- sires ; for, we are about to commence singing a sonc to- gether, and if our instruments are not tuned alike, and our voices do not chord, it is better to know it before it is too late. When notes are compared, and found not to harmon- ize, then the parties can separate without injury to the affection of either ; but, if upon a candid comparison of each other's capacities, inclinations, desires, and circum- stances, there exists harmony and union, then they can unite understandingly, and the feelings will be sure to fol- LOVE, ETC. 14', low so honest and safe a guide as the intellect; when once married under such influences, then there will be nothing to interrupt the love through life. But this having set and particular times to visit, to think up all sorts of smart and pretty things, to say by way of flattery, and pretensions to love, and to continue this species of courtship for years, does not speak well for the honesty, integrity, or virtue of the persons who act thus. There is too much courting at random, and for the mere trivial mo- tive of passing away time agreeably, and spending an hour or more in idle chit-chat, with no desire or purpose ever to marry. Too long or too short courtships, are equally objection- able, especially when they are continued as long as by a certain couple near Lowell, Massachusetts. A man paid his addresses to a lady for twenty years. At the end of this period, he proposed marriage ; but, by this time, they had both become so strongly attached to their own homes, that neither could leave to go with the other. So they concluded to remain at their own homes even after marriage. If they had married nineteen years before this, one of them might have been able to have given up his or her house, and have gone to live with the object of their choice. Their interests might have become one ; their de- sires might have blended, so that there would have been an union of purpose. Sometimes there appears to be insurmountable barriers in the way ; the following is a case in point: A very worthy, honest, diffident man, of the city of New York, paid his ad- dresses to a young lady of equal worth and virtue, and the acquaintance became so intimate that he spent most of his leisure hours with her, always waited on her to and from church, &c, and continued so to do until fifteen years had elapsed: by this time the patience of the young woman be- came exhausted, and she resolved on bringing matters o a crisis So she informed her lover on his next visit, that 148 MAR RI AUK. she was about to leave the city. " Are you 1" replied he with surprise, " When are you going 1" " To-morrow." " Where are you going 1" " I don't know." "What shall I do 1 How long do you intend to be gone 1" " I don't know what you will do, neither do I know how long I shall be gone," said she, " and now if you want me, say so, and take me ; for now is your last opportunity." He took the hint, and arrangements being made, they were soon married. After he had tasted of the sweets of married life, said he, " Wife, why did you not say so before ; for we might have been married fifteen years ago, as well as now, if you had merely said the word. I was ready to marry, and resolved to make the proposal again and again ; but each time my heart would rise in my throat, so that I could not speak." It is well that there is a leap year occasionally, so that the ladies have a little chance to act and speak for themselves. Where a young man is as diffident as this man was, he is really to be pitied, and the intended bride is excusable if she aids in bringing the matter to a crisis. Where the courtship is too short, it does not allow of sufficient time for that acquaintance necessary to ascertain whether the parties are as much adapted to each other as the married life requires, especially without the aid of a practical knowledge of the science of Phrenology, or a cor- rect description of their characters by one who possesses that knowledge, without which there will be a risk at all Limes, and great danger in many cases of making mistakes. Many matches are the result of hasty and impulsive reso lutions, to gratify pride, will, revenge, or a conquering disposition—all of which are wrong, and calculated to in- jure materially, if not wholly destroy the noblest feelings of their natures. Another point should be attended to more than it is, in order to secure and retain that perfect love so much desired in married life. Man is very much the creature of habit and circumstances. Whatever impels the mind into action LOVE, ETC. 149 on its first appearance, is very liable to acquire an increas- ing influence over it, and gradually gain a permanent con- trol of it; and those peculiar traits of character which are manifested at our first introduction to a person, who after- ward becomes a friend, will make strong enough im pressions to influence us materially in our future in tercourse, not only in our thoughts and looks, but in our actions and conversation. Said a friend to me on one oc- casion, " You do not see an exhibition of my real charac- ter ; for, we were introduced to each other under peculiar circumstances, which led to certain trains of thought and conversation ; and I never see you but the very same train of thought, &c. rises in my mind." So it is with the first impressions made on the minds of those who afterward be- come companions in matrimony. The first few interviews stamp impressions which may influence the mind for life. We should, then, treat our intendeJ, from the first as we expect and intend to do during life. If a man commences an acquaintance by flattery, and obtains and secures the af- fections of his loved one in this way, he will find it neces- sary to use the same means continually to retain them. Many value their friends according to the intrinsic worth of the presents they bestow, which are very often returned after a few months' use. 1 do not speak against the prac- tice of bestowing presents as a friend, after persons are engag- ed ; but it is a wrong principle on which to make friends ; for where love is gained in this way, it is too mercenary and selfish. If such a course be the best, then follow it. But, if a perfectly honest, candid, and natural exhibition of the real feelings of our natures, is the most desirable course to be pursued through life, then begin in that way, and continue it. Lastly, it is essentially necessary in order that pure affection should be secured and continued, that hus- bands and wives should treat each other just as kindly and as politely after as before marriage. I wish it were not necessary to urge this point; for, it 150 MARRIAGE. would seem that common sense, justice, and humanity de- mand it, and that pure affection would secure it; yet, it is a lamentable fact, that too many, if not a majority, of married persons are more polite, kind, and attentive before, than af- ter marriage ; which is very often a fruitful source of con- tention and family bickerings. Let a sensitive wife be convinced that a husband is less mindful'of her, and neglects to perform many kind deeds and attentions, which he was very prompt to do in days " lang syne," and she will necessarily become unhappy and discontented For example : A young newly-married couple were walk- ing along the streets of P., when the lady's shoe became untied. She asked her husband, if he would tie it for her. He was one of those soft-saying, flattering, smooth-tongued, social, extra-polite gentlemen ; but, some how or other, on this occasion either his dignity had suddenly risen, or he was in a state of absent-mindedness, he scornfully replied: " No ; tie your own shoe."1'' His reply must have fallen like a clap of thunder on her ears. A certain physician was remarkably kind and polite to a lady during a season of sickness, which so effectually won her gratitude that she consented to marry him. But, dur- ing the bridal tour, he quarrelled with her, telling her that she had been petted enough already, and need not expect it afterward. This was but a faint type of his treatment of her in subsequent periods. If a man strives to please and to make happy his intend- ed, while she is a member of her father's fire-side circle surrounded by kind and tender parents, brothers and sisters, surely it is his duty to make double exertions to do so when she leaves all these sources of affection to unite her destiny with his. She goes, with a confiding, trusting spirit, to commit her all to her future husband—very often to find the gushing springs of her affection turned into bitter tears. LOVE, ETC. 151 " No kindling heart gives echoes To the passion of her strain." And she is left to waste away neglected and alone. I might tell an "o'er true tale" in this connexion, but must be confined to a brief statement of the fact. It relates to a lady, who was wed to one with whom she had been led to cherish the most sanguine hopes of a future life of bliss and happiness. But, alas ! what were her feelings when she too soon learn- ed the heart-rending truth, that she had been duped by the husband of another wife. It was too heavy a calamity for her to bear. In a very short time, her spirit was grieved away, and her body clasped in the cold embrace of death. The attending physician assigned as the cause a general debility; but, on a post mortem examination, her heart was found to be completely withered, in consequence of broken spirits and retarded circulation. Such an intimate relationship as that of marriage life cannot exist happily without love; and it is equally neces- sary that that love should be guided by enlightened reason. Although nature has been free in endowing all human beings with the same natural inclinations to form social relations, and as no one has a right to prevent the fulfil- ment of that law of our nature, we are all under obliga- tions to society and posterity. All, therefore, who value these considerations, should lend their influence, by pre- cept and example, for their support and encouragement as heartily as for the fulfilment of any law of their country. In the name, therefore, of science, of humanity, of pos- ferity, and of moral obligation, I say, no one has a right to marry unless he has the natural qualifications, mentally and physically; and has these functions properly guided by en- hgTthTtedperrsaons 'will marry is as true as that they have the natural liberty, and the inclination; consequently, it is the duty of those who are better informed, to enlighten the more 152 MARRIAGE. ignorant on this subject, so that they can obey the laws of their being, for their own highest happiness and for the best interests of posterity. A great majority of the evils existing in domestic life, doubtless, arise from an ignorance of the laws that should regulate them ; and, in consequence of this ignorance, the human race is made wretched. In former days, this ignorance was winked at; but, now that the light is beaming forth from every page of nature's book, and " those who run may read" and understand, we are the less excusable for violating nature's laws, and more loudly called upon to follow this light, and to act accord- ingly- Marriage is too often made a matter of feeling, and not enough of reflection and judgment. Many are influenced by no other motive when they marry than that of being in love, and are thus led by the blind impulses of their nature to form a union for life without any regard for consequences. It being the duty of every healthy and well organized per- son to form these matrimonial relations, in order to secure the greatest amount of happiness, it is equally our duty to understand the means to be used, so as to secure the great- est amount of happiness, not only to ourselves, but to our posterity. To the want of this knowledge, in connexion with disobedience of the laws of our nature, can be ascrib- ed most of our domestic difficulties—such as divorces, quar- relling, fault-finding, jealousies, and murders, besides a long list of diseases which parents transmit to their children, —thus increasing sorrow and suffering until premature death closes the scene. Happiness, in domestic life, can be made a matter of cer- tainty instead of accident, if we would but obey the laws of our nature. The old maxim, that " Love is blind," is too true : it cer- tainly needs a guide—which guide we have in the intellect situated in the forehead, for the express purpose of takip£ LOVE, ETC 153 the lead This should have a prior influence in all the af- fairs of life—and the nfore important the transaction, the greater the need of its influence—and in no place is it more necessary, than in forming our domestic relations, enabling us to understand the principles which are necessary to bo taken into account in order to secure that happiness which man is capable of enjoying. But, instead of being guided by our judgment, and allowing our foreheads to take the lead, we have reversed the order of nature, and turned around and gone backward into married life, and allowed our feelings to take the lead until the time has passed when reason would be of any avail. Many show the contracted view thejfctake of this subject, by the kind of companions they select, and the motives that guide them in their choice. Many allow one motive, qualification, attraction, condi- tion, or circumstance to bias them, regardless of all other circumstances. The desire of wealth, joined with indolence, often points to a fortune, instead of a companion—thus showing that some prefer to gratify one of the lowest and most selfish feelings of their nature at the expense of all other consid- erations. A young man in the upper counties of Georgia, became most extravagantly attached to a maiden lady somewhat ad- vanced in years, not at all interesting or attractive, save in the fact that she was verv wealthy, and her property un- encumbered, except by herself; and she was, not only quite sickly, bed-ridden, one foot in the grave, the other about to follow, but in every other way unqualified to sus- tain the family relations, so that no one expected she would live more than two years at the longest; but, for some cause this fine, spruce, healthy young man, loved her be- yond refusal, and insisted on marrying Jer-the cause why he loved her was well understood in the neighborhood.- They were married, but, instead of dying, so that he could 7* 154 MARRIAGE. gain her fortune, and marry some one more congenial to his feelings, the more he wished it, the more she would not, for she rapidly improved, and finally regained her health, and lived to see him an old gray-headed man, dying only five years before he did; But soon after her death, he went into the company of young ladies, making propos- als, being as agreeable as possible &c.; but, the young ladies knowing his previous history, strenuously refused him, and told him, that as he had shown his cloven foot once, he would not be able to do it again. Another instance from real life. Mr. M. of O. married a lady from the city, and carried her to his home. He thought her father was rich, and probably was sanguine in his hopes and anticipations. When they had been married some time, it was rumored that his father-in-law had met with losses, which would involve his property. So he took his " Cara Sposa" back to her father's mansion. She had not been there long, before her father's affairs turned out more pros- perously than was anticipated. Then the good husband retraced his steps to the city to take his wife, back again : but it was "nogo," the father said nay. Another fact in point. Mr. H. living in the city of P. lost his wife and appeared inconsolable for about three months, then began to recover the elasticity of his spirits, and was recognised as being de- sirous to marry again. He paid particular attention to a young lady, who received his addresses with coldness, and, by the advice of her friends, left the place where he lived. He soon followed to the place where she was, went to a lawyer there to assist him in drawing, and making valid his will. He gave to each of his sons $15,000, to each of his daughters $ 10,000, reserving about $16,000 for himself, and future wife, to be inherited by his wife on his decease stating that he intended to make the aforesaid lady his wife- The lawyer, pleased with a liberal fee which was given him, was not slow in circulating his good fortune, and the LOVE, ETC. 155 contents of the will, to his neighbors. It reached the ears the lady, who, baited of by the yellow trap, received his at- tentions, and when he urged his suit, accepted his handr—not his heart, for he had none to give. They had been married but a short time, when his furni- ture was attached, his person taken into custody by the sheriff, and he proved to be worth twenty thousand dollars worse than nothing; having failed three or four different times, defrauding his creditors each time. Thus was this young girl, who had been brought up in affluence, the dupe of the most consummate plot. She now lives in retire- ment, with "sad anticipations, as well as sad retrospections. Some are governed by beauty alone in their choice, but frequently find to their constant annoyance, that their dar- ling beauty is covered with a mantle of vanity, jealousy, ill-nature, or that the unsparing hand of disease may soon destroy that charm, leaving nothing to be admired. A lady of my acquaintance married a man for his beauty, contrary to the wishes of all her friends; his beauty has vanished, and he is now very ugly, and manifests a domi- neering disposition, frequently abusing her shamefully, and has even repeatedly threatened to take her life. In one of the eastern states, a man in high life married a woman of equally good standing in society, for her beauty; her motive being to enjoy his wealth; but she soon per- ceived, however, that something else was wanting besides wealth, to make her happy, and began to find fault, and to be dissatisfied with, and jealous of, her husband. He too soon learned that beauty alone would not complete his hap- piness, and that even that was fleeting and fading so that his eyes were directed to other objects of beauty. The re- suit was strife, contention, and finally a divorce was granted, and the waters of the Atlantic now separate them. An interesting lady loved a young man most desperately for his sweet and charming voice, and, in spite of all en- reaties she married him; all his faults, his dissipated 156 MARRIAGE. habits having been made known to her previously. She now learns, however, from sad experience, that his sweet voice is continually steeped in narcotics and stimulants, to her shame, as well as to his disgrace, so that she rues the day she ever wed or became acquainted with him. A young lady of N. H., with a very delicate organization and susceptible mind, was advised to marry a young man the reverse of herself, in both mental and physical qualities: her friends alleging that she would, by the union, become more wealthy than any other one in the family. She, with- out having any love for him, was over-persuaded to marry, thinking as many do, that she could love after marriage as a matter of course; but, receiving a severe reprimand from him on the evening of their marriage, her feelings were so wounded that she could not forget it; and, although she lived several years and became the mother of several un- happy children, yet she eventually died with a broken heart. A gentleman in Lowell, Mass., married a lady who had a large and splendid head, and supposed she had a body equally large and healthy to support it. He was informed by a Phrenologist that the head was too large for the size of the body, but he thought otherwise ; for, to all appear- ances, her bust was fully developed ; but, to his surprise, after they were married, he found that her fine form and plumpness was more than half cloth : forgetting, I suppose, that Lowell was a manufacturing town, and that there wa? an abundance of raw material that could be moulded into the outward semblance of vitality by the milliner's hand. A southern lady became extravagantly attached to a man for his uncommonly large head, and superior mental en- dowments. Being fascinated and blinded by this idea, she became his wife, but learned, too late, that he had a bad disposition, and that his superior talents were wrongly di- rected, he being one of the greatest gamblers in that region. She came to her right senses after she felt the force of his an- gry blows, and had her hair severely pulled, and then looked L0VK, ETC J57 on him with differently colored glasses than formerly; when he scales fell from her eyes, he appeared to her as he really was, a dwarf eighteen inches shorter than herself, governed by purely selfish principles, and addicted to gam bling, licentiousness, profanity, and intemperance, with a very ungovernable temper. Looking at him in this light, she desired to leave him, but he gave her no opportunity. Seeing that there was no chance of escape, she gave up to feelings of despair, and soon died in grief, regretting that she ever allowed a large head to bias her mind in her choice of a husband. If happiness be really the object of individuals governed by motives of this nature, then do they lay themselves open to sad and grievous disappointments—for, it being known that this is a consideration which leads many to marry, some who have poverty written upon their personal attractions will pretend to be rich, and display the appearance of wealth until the object has been obtained, and the union consum- mated, which of course puts a finish to farther deception. The reality being known, must produce very unpleasant feelings. When both parties, acting upon this principle, are mu- tually deceived, their disappointment is equal, and its con- sequences just. The following fact will illustrate this point, and exhibit clearly the folly of similar conduct. A distinguished young man from the South, making great pretensions to rank and wealth at home, paid attentions to a young lady residing near New York Bay, whose father had been very wealthy, but owing to reverses had become quite reduced in circumstances; still, the family maintain- ed their style, and the display of affluence equalled fully what it had been in their palmier days, and, by so doing, sustained their reputation in society, in order to allow the young ladies a better opportunity of settling in life. The new comer, prompted by the desire of securing the prize, and thinking she possessed sufficient of the needful 158 MARRIAGE. to pay all expenses, dashed out in fine style, ran into every extravagance, and displayed the fastest and most beautiful horses, &c. Finding debts accumulating and becoming pressing, he hurried on the wedding day, this being the only prospect for their discharge. Meanwhile, she, not suspect- ing that he had falsely represented his situation, and de- lighted at the idea of obtaining so liberal and generous a husband, encouraged his expenses, and was profuse herself, thinking he had the means to settle the bills. They were married—when, to their astonishment and shame, they found themselves not only destitute of the means to dis- charge their liabilities, but unable to buy the necessary fur- niture for housekeeping. In cases where no deception is used, but a fortune ob- tained, it is generally a source of constant bickering and observation on one side, and of mortification on the other, unless he or she possesses the cool philosophy of the man, who, in reply to the observation of his lady, that her money bought the horse upon whose virtues he was expatiating to a number of his friends, said, " Yes, and your money bought me too." Some have an idea that " matches are made in heaven," and that there is an over-ruling power that specially di- rects them all ; or, at any rate, that the Lord will not allow any marriages but those which are as they should be. So thought a good maid, a lady in affluent circumstances in Pennsylvania, who had waited with Christian patience a number of years, for the directed one to make his appear- ance. At length she received the attentions of a clergy- man. He proposed ; she required time for deliberation on account of injurious surmises ; was taken sick suddenly and for some time her life despaired of. As she lay upon the bed in the very lowest state, the subject troubled her and she prayed to God, that if it were His will she should marry this man, He would allow her to recover; that if it were not His will, she might die. LOVE, ETC. 159 Well, in process of time the good woman recovered; and, thinking the hand of the Lord was visible in pointing out her duty, she married the clergyman, supposing him to be a good man, and one who would make her happy, but soon found her worst fears were nothing to the realities of the case. He soon commenced displaying the cloven foot __had been divorced from four wives, was dictatorial, un- kind, licentious, and brutal. His clerical robe served but to conceal the vile enormities of his character. They now reside in the State of Massachusetts, and her condition is truly deplorable. He has spent her property, and she is obliged to support his children. He brings dis- grace upon the family, and misery on his wife, by his un- manly and base conduct, and has long since been deprived of his profession, to which he was a constant disgrace. If the woman had made rigid inquiries into his standing and character, instead of yielding to such an impious decision, by confining God's power in a fixed channel, how much more reasonable and wise would have been her conduct. Some have the motive of conquest alone in view—a mo- tive which should never exist—while others are actuated by ambition, esteeming rank and honors as the greatest prize —a most unpleasant situation, unless a fortune accompanies the union—while others are influenced not so much by pure, strong, and proper attachments and the desire of a perma- nent settlement and home of their own, as by motives of curiosity, by desire of change, and to have the name of being married. In complying with these tendencies of our nature, we are liable to be influenced by motives and resort to means which have an injurious influence, and should, therefore, be avoid- ed In paying our addresses to each other with the inten- tion to marry, we ought never to trifle with each other s feelines by teasing, quizzing, or deceiving. The evils iHsinffrom such a§ course are twofold: 1st. It unhinges 160 MARRIAGE. the judgment, and disqualifies the parties from making it an honest, serious transaction. 2d. It sows the seeds of future discord, jealousy, suspicion, and contempt. DUTIES AND INCONSISTENCIES OF PARENTS AND TEACHERS. They should secure the confidence of their children, so that they will be disposed to ask and to take advice of them in relation to their social matters. They should be a guide and example to their children, and a living witness of the manner in which the social feelings should be properly ex- ercised. They should educate them with the design of making them good husbands and wives, instead of giving them a fashionable, superficial, polite, and showy education, filling their heads with false ideas of society, and how they can most successfully entertain company and secure offers of marriage. Many parents are greatly at fault in this respect, who allow their children to mature for marriage, and en- courage them to anticipate it with no qualifications to en- joy it themselves, or to render those happy with whom they are connected. Parents are under a greater obligation so to educate and direct the minds of their children, as to secure a happy mar- riage, than to establish them in business ; for much more happiness is involved in a good social settlement than a businss one ; the latter is a concomitant to the former; as, those who regard their families will be diligent in business! Some parents are very anxious about their children at the wrong time, like the old hen that spreads her wings to protect her chicken, and raises a great tumult after the hawk has seized it and is bearing it away from her sight. ADVICE TO PARENTS. 161 So do some parents allow their children to mature, appa- rently regardless of who or what they love ; giving, as it were, a tacit consent for the affections to cement until the hand of the child is asked in marriage. Then they stoutly refuse their assent, and violently oppose the union as though they had the highest regard for the child ; but, in many cases, this is too late, and is almost certain to ruin one or both the parties concerned. There should be such an intimacy between the parent and child, that the latter will be disposed to consult the former in these matters from the first. There will then be no occasion for disappointments ; for, to have the attach- ments forcibly broken off, is sometimes as injurious as it is to be unfortunately married. Besides, it is the duty of the parents to retain the affections of their children until they shall have the same degree of judgment to guide them in matters of love as in other matters. The father should so effectually retain the affections of the daughter, and the mother of the son, that they may no> be disposed to change the object of their attachment till they have arrived at years of discretion. As soon as pa- rents, by their improper management, destroy the natural attachment existing between the parent and the child, the child will seek some other object of affection, either at home or abroad, which is frequently the commencement of many family difficulties. Home should be made the most plea- sant spot on earth, the centre of attraction, the bower where the whole family can repose together in love, confidence, concord, and harmony. GENERAL SUGGESTIONS TO THE UNMARRIED, WHAT TO DO, AND WHAT NOT TO DO. To one and all I would say, do not marry unless you love, and do not love, unless guided by reason and judg- 162 MARRIAGE. ment. Do not marry contrary to your own judgment and inclinations, merely to please your friends; for, this reflec- tion does not bring domestic peace when you find that you are confined to one nof at all congenial to your feelings: your happiness, in married life, will depend on your union, and not how it was brought about. Several ladies have told me that they married solely be- cause they were so unfortunate that there was no other way to get rid of the importunities of their lovers ; but they have all declared that they would give any thing in their power, and even life itself, if they could free themselves from their burdens. This being so very accommodating as to give your hand and virtue lo a man without your love, because you cannot bear to see him weep when refused; or because you are afraid of hurting his feelings, if you refuse him, is a spirit that would hardly be recognized among angels, and much less should it be among human beings where their own wel- fare, and that of posterity depend on a different course of conduct. Do not marry then in any case to avoid importunities and puerilrties, or to save the tears and feelings of others; as sel- fishness, if it can be so called, or rather self-love, is justifi- able in this case. Do not marry because you think it is the last opportunity To refuse good offers in hope of obtaining those more eli- gible, and then through fear of living in single blessedness, to accept because you think you will have the " crooked stick at last," is like a man grasping a straw to save him- self from going over the dam. Never marry to get rid of the stigma of being called an old maid, or an old bachelor. It is an honor and a credit to many, that they have had prudence and sense of duty sufficient to control their feel- ings, and to enable them to remain single. Many, by not consulting their organization and qualifi- cations for married life, have brought great evils on them- GENERAL SUGGESTIONS. 163 selves and also on posterity, simply to show the world that they can marry, and thus remove the reproaches (that many fling) of a single life. Said a certain lady, " I would not live single if I had to marry the greatest "roue" in the city. In this all-important step, which has to do with your own indiviaual happiness particularly, allow your friends and enemies to give you facts, and be thankful for them, but think for yourself; exercise your own judgment indepen- dently. By judgment I do not mean the calculations of mere intellect, but the whole mind, embracing the feelings, the sentiments, and propensities. When the consent of all these faculties of the mind has been obtained, then it is cer- tain you are under a moral obligation to marry, regard- less of opposition. Do not marry with the determination to rule or not to be ruled. There is scarcely anything appears more foolish than this absurd feeling of "I am not to be dictated to," "I will have my own way," " I shall not sign away my liberty, / can tell you," &c.—the lady afraid to yield, for fear com- plete submission will be the result; the husband, from dread of appearing to be under " petticoat government." A civil war of this kind puts to flight, most effectually, all hope of domestic enjoyment. It is, invariably, the growth of foolish pride and morbid, little independence, as far re- moved from real dignity as light from darkness—oftentimes exhibited before marriage in persisting in certain actions or habits when their suspension is desired. It cannot be too strongly impressed on your minds, that "mutual forbearance is the touch-stone of domestic happi- ness." " The angel of the marriage covenant bears the in- scription on each wing, which he folds in sorrow when the admonition is unheeded." Do not be so modest as to let one do all the courting, the other replying only in monysyllables ; for, very frequently 164 MARRIAGE. the tongue becomes more pliable, or gets loosed when dam- ages cannot be repaired. Playing the " dumb belle" and silent lover, is a very silly mode of transacting business. No; it is your duty to un- fold your characters in their true colors to each other. In the married state, it is your duty, and should be your pleas- ure, to sympathize with and console each other, and thus beget a winning and soothing confidence that does much to- wards making home desirable and happy. Do not marry a coquette or a flatterer. A coquette has no heart, and a flatterer but a hollow and deceptive one. Do not trifle with your affections, by keeping company as a matter of curiosity or of opposition. Writers have dwelt with much effect upon the evils pro- duced on the intellect by novel reading, but, the effects of literary trifling, bad as they may be, fall far short of the ravages of hydra-headed social dissipation. Parties, routs, the strained and tender compliment, the sigh and protesta- tion, the coquetting and flirting practised as mere pastime, inevitably destroy true affection. Persons who have passed but one season in amusements of this sort, have generally rendered themselves incapable of being influenced by nat- ural and true affection—their feelings have been completely seared. Persons who have been drilled in all the tactics of fash- ion, should be resolutely avoided, nine cases in ten. They have become susceptible of but one love—the love of them- selves. The plague has tainted their blood, producing cer- tain death to all the warm and generous sympathies that should issue from the cup of gladness into the secluded bosom of the family. Do not be so precise and regular in the time that you make your visits—both parties, thus prepare for such occa- sions by embellishing and rendering their appearance foreign to nature; each parades his or her good qualities to the front, and shows how pleasant, kind, agreeable, and polite GENERAL SUGGESTIONS. 165 they can be when they are prepared for it. From using these forced and artificial means to entertain each other, an acquaintance is made with one's abilities for pleasing only, and not for displeasing ; the disagreeable traits of character, not being necessary, are concealed ; but the occasion over, they manifest themselves in right good earnest, and when it is entirely too late—the words " for better or for worse," have been pronounced. In your courting days you had the better, but now you are prepared to appreciate the meaning of the latter term. It is a positive fact, that men and women are not heroes and angels, except upon the pages of a romance. When you are married, you will be obliged to come in contact while your faces are flushed by exercise, dresses disordered by labor, tempers a little ruffled by trifling cir- cumstances and annoyances—when the toilet is not prepar- ed with extra care, and many other trifles connected with "little responsibilities," establishing beyond a doubt, that earth is not heaven, and poor human nature somewhat else than poetry. These things are so ; and you may as well study each other in these situations, as when " dressed up" and seated in the parlor. In the one case, you are liable to be " taken in ;" and in the other, knowing what to ex- pect, disappointment cannot creep in. Contentment must reicrn—giving a fair opportunity for happiness. Do not excite your love by foreign stimulants. The in- fluences of love and wine should never be united. Men, when under the excitement of intoxicating liquors, are not in full possession of all their faculties : they have excited their animal propensities, and by so doing, have rendered the manifestations of their feelings brutal. There is no woman of sense and purity throughout the land, but must, having the knowledge of the debasing influences of arden- spirits, the foul and demoniac crimes which have been com- mitted under the auspices of drunkenness, view the atten- 166 MARRIAGE. tions of persons under this animal excitement, as an insult of the blackest kind One word here in reference to those fashionable balls and dancing schools held at hotels—the assembly room, where are congregated young and virtuous females, waited on by kind and attentive partners, generally immediately over a bar-room. Many a poor, wretched, and agonized wife and mother, is at this moment bitterly regretting the near prox- imity of that debasing and inthralling spot to the ball-room where she was " woo'd and won." Nothing is intended to be said in opposition to the accom- complishment of dancing—for, when indulged in. apart from unhallowed influences, it is a pleasant and graceful pas- time, and healthy exercise. It is the duty of ladies, and especially mothers, to put down associations of this kind ; for, many young gentle- men, feeling embarrassed through timidity and bashfulness, obtain a little " Dutch courage," in order that they may the more readily throw off restraint, and by this means plant a moral canker in their bosoms, which eventually " eateth into their very heart's core." Intoxicating drinks stir up the temper and the whole of the animal nature, and blunl all the high and nobler qualities of man. Parents should bear in mind, therefore, when their daughters are intrusted to persons who have the slightest tendency to indulgencies, that their happiness rests upon a very frail foundation. Il is an awful fact, that two-thirds of the idiots and insane in the land, are the immediate result of one or both parties having been accustomed to steep their brains, scorch theii blood, and wither their muscles by the free use of this liquid fire. Do not go to the ball-room or to a fashionable watering place to secure a true, affectionate, and domestic companion. The very atmosphere of such a place is destructive to na ture's pure affection and her natural language. There, art and deception take the place of nature, the whole mind is GENERAL SUGGESTIONS. 167 highly charged with excitement, and the attachments, (what there are left,) ambition, and the passions, are all greatly stimulated and bias all other considerations, and present an entirely one-sided character in borrowed plumes and false pretences. If you are very poor, do not marry a person very weal- thy, merely on account of his or her wealth, unless you wish to act the part of a servant, and to live with the con- tinued reflection that you are eating another's bread, riding in another's carriage, &c. A good lady who brought her husband some $40,000, asked him one day if he would take her out to ride. He replied that he should not be able to comply with her re- quest that afternoon, as his business would require his at- tention. " Well," replied she, drawing herself up in a dig- nified manner, " if you will not go, I can find some one who will take me with my own horses and carriage." If you have insane or consumptive tendencies of body, do not marry one who has the same, unless you wish to bring upon yourself, your family, and posterity, all the evils of hereditary disease. Do not be so long in courting as to change your mind, or so quick as to be rash, or ignorant of the character you have chosen. If you have no love in your soul, do not marry unless it is with one of a similar disposition. If your mental or physical organization is extremely sus- ceptible to impressions, do not marry one of the same ex- treme or of the opposite order. There should be a ten- dency to the medium line ; if an organ, or function is very large in one, then it should be less in the other, so as to have a restraining influence; yet, it should not be so small as to be disgusted with the extravagant manifestation of it. If one has an organ very small, the other should have it a little larger, so that it may not be deficient in the family; and also that it may serve as a stimulus for the one in whom it is weak. 168 MARRIAGE. A long article might be written on this subject, and a de- tailed account of the manner in which each of the develop- ments should rank, might be mentioned; but, that is not necessary, as the subject addresses itself to the common sense of every one. Variety is at times agreeable and even desirable; yet, extremes in any of the arrangements of nature, or in two separately organized bodies scarcely ever harmonize in ac- tion or in that adaptation necessary to produce uniform re- sults. A gentleman, who thought he understood human nature very well, the motives of action ,&c, had very small Ac- quisitiveness, and, in his selecting a wife, looked for one with the organ large ; but, when they were united, this was the source of trouble and contention ; for, she took all his earnings, and was unwilling that he should expend a single cent beyond his actual necessities. This state of feeling increased to such a degree that he separated from her, and now lives alone in the world, unhappy and desolate, con- vinced that extremes do not always produce happiness. This law of harmony and balance, should be recognised, not only for the convenience; of the parties concerned, but for the sake of posterity. The organization of children depends on two things ; first, the organization of the parents ; and secondly, the influence of circumstances on the minds and activity of the various faculties and functions of those parents before conception, and particularly afterward on the part of the mother. If then both parents have the same function very large or very small, the child must necessarily partake of that ex- treme, unless a change is produced by the force of circum- stances. If both parents are idiots, the child will be idiotic. If very nervous or consumptive, the children will be so dis posed. If Conscientiousness, Firmness, Self- Esteem, or any other organ is very small in the parents, they will be so in the child, unless it is rendered large by the great activity GENERAL SUGGESTIONS. 169 of these faculties in the parents. If Cautiousness, Secre- tiveness, Destructiveness, Amativeness, or any of the ani- mal propensities, are very large and active in the parents, they will be manifest in the children. Many facts having a direct bearing on this subject, might be mentioned, if the limits of this book would allow. The influence of circumstances on the formation of children, will probably be dwelt on hereafter. If you are very rich, select your companions yourself, instead of permitting another one to choose for you ; so that you may not be troubled with the reflection that you were selected for your wealth. A young lady of royal blood, from the south of Europe, who was very wealthy, accomplished, and beautiful, tra- velled in this country in the garb of a servant or companion, for the purpose of making her own observations, and select- ing her friends without her name, rank, and wealth being known : fearing that they might be the means of attracting attention, and draw a crowd of flatterers around her, regard- less of her own natural qualities, which was not a very plea- sant reflection. She was a true unsophisticated child of nature, travelled extensively, and enjoyed herself high- ly. A gentleman appreciating her native talent, made love to her, and they were married and settled at the south. She had the satisfaction to know and experience that she was beloved for herself alone. He was made thrice happy, when he found, in addition to her own per- sonal and acquired qualifications, all other things desirable. They lived in the enjoyment of almost uninterrupted felic- ity for many years. After his death, she returned to Eu- rope to grace again the circles of wealth and intelligence, which she had voluntarily left for a season. Had she fol- lowed some other course, she might have been the dupe of some fortune-hunter, prowling over the country Be sure that you have the confidence and sanction of the parents before you proceed with your negociations. To 170 MARRIAGE secure the affections of a young lady, and make arrangi ments to be married, and then ask the consent of the pa- rents and be refused, is quite an unpleasant predicament in which to be placed. In this case you are left to one of two alternatives, either of which is unfortunate. To marry con- trary to the wishes of friends and parents, or sacrifice your love, both of which might have been avoided, if the neces- sary precautions had been taken in season. Do not marry so much above or below your sphere, as either to secure the contempt and the reproaches of friends, or fail to adapt yourself to the peculiar condition of your companion. Finally, do not allow any one faculty of the mind, any one condition of the body, any one favorable or flattering re- mark, the enthusiasm of the moment, or the excitement of passion to balance all other considerations—thus bringing about a partial union, and securing the possibility only, of imperfect happiness. Those individuals who are governed by selfish motives in these matters, will resort to dishonest and improper means to accomplish their object. They have not a sufficient amount of conscience or principle to regulate and control them: the consequence of which is, there can be no confi dence placed in them; they are liable at any and all times to go or be led astray, and are especially unfit to assume the weighty responsibilities which devolve on heads of fam- ilies. Persons of this character should be resolutely and deter- minedly avoided. From the existence of such men and wo- men in society, can be traced the origin of the deception, pretension, falsehood, flattery, assumed piety, strained po- liteness and artificial endeavors to entertain each other while together, which may be denominated the reefs and shoals ol the sea of matrimony. Many unprincipled young men of fortune, leisure, and accomplishments in our cities, spend much of their time in female society, using all their faculties and powers of pleas- GENERAL SUGGESTIONS 171 ing with apparently honest intentions, labor assiduously to secure the affections of young ladies, who afterward make their dignified and lofty boasts of how many beautiful and charming young ladies are crazy after them, if they should not proceed farther and trifle with their affections in the ba- sest manner. Such men, or apologies for men, deserve to be branded with the blackest marks of infamy, the most in- delible sign of disgrace, meriting nothing but obloquy and contempt. Youn°- women, too regardless of consequences, sometimes thoughtlessly turn coquettes, present their charms and bright attractions, use their best endeavors, exhibit excessive de- votion and exclusive affection, and by these means decoy and lead astray, if not absolutely ruin, many an honest, worthy young man. The hearts of such ladies exist but in name ; they have long since been dissipated in thin air ; they are only worthy of becoming the wives of the soulless persons described in the last paragraph. The world is full of this reckless and unprincipled way of trifling with the most ardent, influential and endearing feelings of our nature. # Were the evils brought upon society, families and indi- viduals by this extensive but very pernicious course of con- duct thoroughly investigated and dwelt upon, we should be presented with the real first cause why there are so many fewd men and women, so much vice, immorality, and licen- tiousness in our cities-would unfold the origin of the wretchedness and despair of miserable thousands, and ex P°K iSy tf^r^-holds them account It is tne uuuy j personal influence in :rahxr;Ser; ^* - - «, WhiCh 'tJwoplet now educated, many are not capable Ifthemselves in the marriage relahons. 172 MARRIAGE. The primary powers of their mind, their inclinations and passions, however, are not changed or modified to suit their abilities. They are urged on by the blind impulses of their nature, to the altar of marriage, no more prepared to fulfil their solemn vows, or to discharge their duties, than is the mari- ner to navigate the broad surface of the mighty ocean with- out chart or compass. The education of young ladies, especially, is very defec- tive in this respect, particularly among the more fashiona- ble, wealthy, and artificially accomplished. Instead of being taught to work and help support them- selves, thereby forming habits of industry and economy that are of invaluable service in after life, and securing health, hilarity, vivacity, and sprightliness by the free and ready exercise of muscle and mind, they become feeble and sickly in their bodies, as well as peevish and fretful in their dispositions. Their parents become their slaves, their very drudges, and they are allowed to grow up in a debilitating and enervating idleness, their bodily powers only equalled in puerility by their mental—unable to take care of them- selves or boldly meet difficulties which some unforeseen event may cast in their path, fitted only for toys and play- things, not for companions and confidants—the whole extent of their useful acquirements being, ability to dress fashiona- bly, behave genteelly, walk and dance gracefully, play upon the piano very beautifully, talk very softly and sweetly, to ridicule the idea of coming in contact with any of the com- mon places of life, pore over the sickly and trashy tales of a magazine or novel, and amuse the company by a display of their personal attractions, natural and unnatural, exciting an unhealthy, if not an immoral influence over others. Or if, perchance, they work, it is merely to show their taste upon some article of dress designed to adorn their too arti- ficial bodies, consulting neither health nor convenience, or, perhaps, to put on their gloves and dust the parlor, possibly GENERAL SUGGESTIONS. 173 to set the table, yid yet very anxious to marry without un- derstanding the rudiments of housekeeping. Such wives and mothers should be scarce, and yet, such a system of education is encouraged by the other sex, who are by far the greatest sufferers, being more fond of their wives and daughters when they appear well, even to the ne- glect of their families ; also by paying attentions and clus- tering around those young ladies whose dress is most " baby- like." The true principles of education, founded upon phrenology and physiology, would say, cultivate and im- prove the physical powers to the utmost, so as to secure health of body, strength of constitution, and the power of becoming parents of children, not characterised by weakness and effeminacy. Exercise the mind, the whole mind, bearing in view the fact that the brain, the material organ of the mind, is capable of being benefited by regular tasks, and of being in- jured by excesses, precisely in the same manner as the body can be weakened by any over-action. When the mental and physical organization of man is properly understood, and the laws by which those organi- zations are affected are obeyed, families will enjoy unin- terrupted health, long life and uniform happiness. Man's enjoyment in this life depends more on the proper exercise of the social feelings and their gratification in the domestic relations, than on any other condition in life. For him to enter upon these duties, and assume the neces- sary obligations without being thoroughly qualified and prepared, would be as great a sin and violation of duty, as for an ignorant man, unacquainted with the principles of Christianity, and not enlightened by grace, to attempt to teach the way of salvation. We should change our situations and enter into the mat- rimonial relations solely with the intention of becoming more happy and useful. It should be looked at, reasoned upon, and spoken of, as an honest and most important business. To treat serious 174 MARRIAGE. subjects in a light, trifling, nonsensical mahner, is quite in jurious, and should be reprobated. We should do it with an eye upon our mutual and indi- vidual happiness, remembering that perfect happiness can arise only from the proper adaptation and exercise of all our natural powers, socially, morally, intellectually, and physically,—consequently, we should consult all of them, and gratify as many as possible. And above all, we should do it with the reflection that from three to six generations of our descendants will be directly affected by the choice we make. HEREDITARY INFLUENCES. Having glanced at some of the evils resulting from the perversion of the means put into our hands to continue the race, it is my present design to present some farther con- siderations which bear on this subject; although it is quite an unpleasant task to dwell on the errors, evils, and discrep- ancies with which we meet in social life ; it is far beyond the limits of my time and space to do justice to a description of the dreadful effects which directly result from these evils. Our vagrants in the streets, our poor-houses, prisons, peni- tentiaries, insane hospitals, and a vast multitude of wretched victims, which no man can number, filling every nook and corner of old Europe, and spreading with rapidity over young America, who are living out an existence of misery and torture, one and all rise up, hosts of maimed, blind, dis- eased, and imbecile beings, as witnesses, and point to their several defects as the strongest testimony that can be utter- ed in behalf of abused nature and her broken laws. Many families are far too large for their means of sup- port. Parents cannot, even in this favored land of plenty, support, by their own labor, a great many dependants ; and how heavily must they be taxed in Europe, particularly in England, whose exclusive, narrow, and selfish policy is so greatly at war with the interests of the many. Let the ban- ner cry of " Bread or Blood," now ringing throughout the length and breadth of that land of wealth and power, pro- claim ! _j 176 MARRIAGE. Why is it, that children are thrown into the world, igno- rant of almost every principle which it is important for them to understand, and necessary for them to practice, in order to render life either useful or happy 1—retarding man's advancement and general civilization, until, in con- templation of the increasing evil, one despairs of the pro- phetic millenium, or only dreams of its realization in a far- off eternity of time. Parents in these indigent circumstan- ces are excusable, if they do not use the means to multiply and increase : indeed, it is their duty not to use them. But, instead of being guided by duty and the decisions of com- mon sense, tinctured with philanthropy, and wishing to be excused, these are precisely the ones who have the largest families. When their eyes are opened, and they not only see but feel, the wretched and responsible situation in which they have placed themselves, they are very ready for an excuse, and by way of self-justification, to throw the entire blame from their own shoulders, upon the allotments of Providence. But Providence has kindly placed the whole matter in their own hands, and they are to be blamed, and they alone, for any ills which may arise from a mis- management of them. When attention is paid to the resulting consequences upon society, it must be admitted that this increase of chil- dren beyond all expected ability properly to educate their physical, moral, and intellectual natures, is not only a man- ifest evil of the highest nature, but a positive and undeni- able moral sin, and as such should be strictly guarded against. As the condition of man now is, many are not proper subjects to hand down to posterity a healthy, happy family. Persons who labor under hereditary diseases of any kind, should avoid becoming parents ; for, by so doing, they mul- tiply sorrow, suffering, and early death. If persons affected with any hereditary disease, marry with the intention of becoming parents, they should pay HEREDITARY INFLUENCES. 177 strict attention to the laws of Physiology, and marry those only who are particularly well fortified in those qualities in which they are deficient—those having a strong and well-balanced constitution, a good stock of vitality, and an active and energetic mind. The children, in this case, will be like, or resemble the more active and healthy parent, and be much less affected by the one diseased, than they would if both were diseased or unhealthy; or than they would be if there were no counteracting qualities in either of the par- ties. Parents of the same physical qualities in the extreme, should not marry. No. 21. The mental or nervous organization, may be known by a t delicate frame, sharp features, thin skin, fine hair, sparkling f eyes, quick movements, rapid speech, joined with a great a* 178 MARRIAGE. desire to read, think, and gratify the intellectual powers generally. If the nervous organization prevails, the mind is predomi- nant in power and activity, and the constitution suffers severely from the constant drains made on it. Such per- sons mature early, suffer or enjoy in the extreme, lead a brilliant but short career, and generally find a premature grave. Two persons uniting with a predominance of this organi- zation, will live too fast, be too extravagant in thought, word, and deed, will enjoy and suffer in the extreme, carry every thing to excess, devote themselves too exclusively to the exercise of mind as such, and will be restless, uneasy, feeble, irregular, uneven, and inconsistent. Children of such parents are generally few in number, dwarfish, puny, and " too smart to live." The ranks of the insane are too frequently increased from families of this or- ganization ; and when young, they consequently require double the care and attention, and are much more depend- ent than other children. They are endowed with feelings so keen, and susceptibilities so acute, that their existence is almost a burden for the want of the ability to look on the trials, privations and hardships of life, as though they were prepared to meet them. Such families soon become ex- tinct, and " the places that once knew them, know them no more." The motive or bilious organization comprises the frame- work of the body, the bones and muscles, the moving part of man, the house which encases the vital functions. The indications of this organization, when greatly pre- ponderating, are solid bones, hard muscles, firm flesh, close and large joints, large and irregular features, dark hair and complexion, heavy expression and slow movements. Such persons are difficult to excite and hard to restrain ; have strong and well-fortified constitutions ; are generally well- qualified to resist foreign influences, both mental and phy- HEREDITARY INFLUENCES. 179 No. 22. sical. Such persons are our hewers of wood and drawers of water; are capable of sustaining the fatigues and hard- ships of life : they do the coarse heavy work, are backward in youth, tenacious of life, and struggle in death. Two persons with a predominance of this organization united in marriage, would be far behind the age and the spirit of the times; would always be in the rear, and would act as machines or automatons for their neighbors. In them there is more ability to act than to plan; more strength and toughness than refinement and sensibility. The children of such parents will be hardy and healthy, but awkward, homely, backward, and never in their ele- ment except when the harness is on ; real plodders through life : doing all the hard work, fighting all the battles, rais- ing all the monuments, but obtaining none of the credit. They help to make others rich, but die poor themselves, and are soon obliterated from memory. They are the real sinews of the land, but rarely exert a moral and intellectual influence. Their standard is physi- 180 MARRIAGE. cal, their exertions are physical, and their attainments phy- sical. This organization joined with the Nervous or Mental, gives vigor and strength of mind, and produces greatness and power of intellect. The Vital organization is the combination of what is gen- erally called the Sanguine and Lymphatic: it has reference to the thoracic and abdominal regions of the body, and may be known, when in the ascendency, by a large round plump body, full chest, broad shoulders, round limbs, strong pulse, large base to the brain and lower portion of the face, with a florid complexion, sandy hair, and a healthy, social and animated expression. All the vital organs, those on which life depends and is generated, are large and active. HEREDITARY INFLUENCES. 181 Persons with a predominance of this organization place a high value on life and its pleasures, enjoy all there is to be enjoyed, sleep soundly, breathe freely, eat heartily, and like to partake of the luxuries of the table. Their motto is : " Live while you live." They are fond of excitement and amusement; always busy, yet do not trouble themselves about hard and steady work ; more dis- posed to oversee others and give orders than to obey those of others. They frequent social gatherings, have a pre- dominance of the feelings and passions which, when per- verted, render them violent and passionate. Their feelings are tender, sympathies lively—are very sensitive and sus- ceptible to foreign influences and change of circumstances. They act upon the high pressure principle, with force and impetus. Two persons united with a predominance of this organization will be too impulsive—put on too much steam in proportion to their freight—are too easily carried away by the impressions of the moment—too little under the re straint of the controlling elements, and when excited are too warm, ardent and passionate—are too much under the influence of the feelings—may evince considerable intellect at times, but will have no uniform and steady mental ac- tion. We never see persons of this class close students ; neither do they have much patience or application of mind. Their first thoughts are generally their best; they do not trouble themselves much about mental reflections or phys- iological investigations ; they lack balance of power; have too much of the animal and not enough of the mental, and consequently act and live for present enjoyment, without reference to future results. If the digestive functions (which are a part of the vital) predominate, then the per- son becomes dull, indolent, corpulent and gouty, especially in advanced life, after having retired from active service. Children born of such parents will be passionate, difficult to control, dull scholars, extravagant eaters, units and ci- phers in society, mere nonentities, very liable to yield to 182 MARRIAGE. licentious and intemperate habits, to violate law and good order, to exert a demoralizing influence over others, to live and die degraded, and are too frequently very inferior in intellectual and moral capacity. It is not well to have any of these conditions of the body developed in the extreme, as it will be very unfortunate, both to the parents and the children for two of the same ex- tremes of organization to be united, and equally so for two of the opposite extremes; for, they will labor under many inconveniences which education or effort on their part can- not overcome. Their children will be imperfectly organ- ized and subject to extremes ; they will always be regarded as creatures of circumstances, and the folly of their parents. Their existence would, in fact, exhibit only the phenomena of vegetable life. A balance of all the temperaments is the most desirable ; and, what one is deficient in, let the other have to a suffi- cient degree to act as a counterpoise : by this means, uni- formity and evenness of action may be inherited by your children, instead of their becoming but second editions with numerous additional illustrations of their parents' original imperfections. If persons will arouse from their lethargy, and make themselves thoroughly acquainted with the theory and philosophy of the temperaments, and put in practice the knowledge so obtained, the corner-stone of a great so- cial reform will be laid, which must produce more bless- ings, dissipate more evils, and advance mankind toward a state of perfection with greater rapidity, than any other measure of the day. Young gentlemen, or men having formed intemperate and licentious habits before marriage, are very liable to retain them, and should, therefore, receive no encouragement from the ladies. If they value the welfare of their family, wish to secure health and happiness in their union, and pay due regard to the moral improvement of society, they will, HEREDITARY INFLUENCES. 183 one and all, unite in reprobating by their actions, in the most positive manner, all tendencies of this nature. The desire or fondness for strong drinks, has been proved by facts, to be a condition of appetite capable of being en- tailed through successive generations. Think one moment what misery and wretchedness you may be the means of settling upon your poor, innocent and unoffending offspring from not having attended to this one hereditary law ; and not on them alone is the injury inflicted, but on it goes, through their descendants, gathering new strength and pro- ducing a wider career at every extension of the family, un- til the evil brought on by your direct agency, assumes a magnitude that is incalculable. Can you ascribe to any other cause than ignorance of the principle, that unnatural appetites, when active in the parents, are generally implant- ed in the children, not by legal will, but by the stronger will of nature, the existence of the great army of drunkards, rank and file, militia and regulars, with which our country was filled two or three years since 1 What energetic and praiseworthy efforts have been made by a noble few, to check the impressment of new recruits, and to organize from deserters a cold-water army ; and how wonderfully successful have they been! Their object, however, is but half attained. They may reform the pres- ent generation, but in your hands, mothers and daughters, there still remains a most important portion of this great work of the present century. It remains with you, whether there shall be planted in the hearts of the future world the poisonous seed, capable of bringing forth such bitter har- vest. Come boldly forward and throw the weight of your mighty influence on the side of this high cause. Imitate the noble example of those ladies of Kochesler, who have raised their gallant humanity banner—" Total abstinence from all licentiouness and all that intoxicates, or no hus- bands." Carry it out resolutely in practice, and future 184 MARRIAGE. myriads will sing your praises in the sublime strains of neart-felt gratitude and reverence. Young ladies who devote their time to leisure amuse- ments, and the follies that invariably attend them, should be regarded as entirely unworthy the notice of those young men who have any regard for a healthy and happy family They are entirely unqualified to discharge the duties of a mother and companion in a proper manner; and, it is to be hoped that measures will be taken which will have the effect more thoroughly to open the eyes of all on this im- portant subject. Do not allow yourselves and your " fair loved ones" to be victimized any longer, even if it be done in obedience to the imperious mandates of fashion, when that obedience renders them incapable of transmitting to posterity that vital energy and mental power necessary for long life or distinction. It is true, that there are many persons in society of cor- rupt and unnatural tastes, who are gratified by existing modes; young men, and married men too, there are, who encourage such fashions and habits ; they like, forsooth, to be entertained by young ladies of leisure and accom- plishments, who have small waists and bare shoulders. But, we would ask, who are these men 1 What are their characters, habits, and principles ? Inquire here, and turn your investigations from the discovery of what their con- nexions are into this channel. And mark the words. You will find that they are men of perverted passions, and gener- ally accustomed to intemperate or licentious associations. You will then perceive, and what emotions of shame and mortification ought it to produce, that it is their animal na- tures and propensities which you are laboring so assiduous- ly to please ; while, very few indeed, are the efforts which you make to please by gratifying their moral and intellec- tual faculties. And here woman, (confined to these circles, we trust,) is found ruining her moral purity and debasing herself, to HEREDITARY INFLUENCES. 185 please licentious man. A most degrading motive, truly ! For there is no doubt—you must admit it yourself—that it is man, and not woman, you are so anxious to please. It should also be borne in mind, that the fashions of the day are carried to such an extent that we can have no cor- rect knowledge of the natural form of a fashionable lady. The following anecdote will illustrate this point better than a long treatise. However strong it may appear, oui readers may place implicit confidence in its entire authen ticity; for, we assure them it is but one of those facts which serve to establish the old adage, " Truth is strangei than fiction." A few summers ago, while ascending the Hudson river, our attention was arrested by the peculiarity of the pas- sengers. On this river, the boats are generally crowded with men whose anxious countenances and hurried, restless y steps pronounce them men of business, and that their minds are busily absorbed in the remembrance of some transaction ; i but now their characters appeared to be changed. There were as many ladies as gentlemen on board—a most unusual circumstance. The looks of all were free and unrestrain- ed. A great many were bound for the Saratoga Springs. I The appearance it gave the boat, was, as if it were on some merry pleasure excursion. It was this singularity that first prompted us to particularize in our observations. We \ were soon arrested by the striking personal appearance of one young lady, who shone above all around—was the cen- tre of attraction—every one gazed on her with admiration. She occupied a conspicuous position upon the promenade deck. Soon every one was remarking about her. Whis- kers were passing around—" What a beautiful young lady!" " How perfectly handsome /" " What a noble bust /" " What grace /" One gentleman exclaimed, quite ardent- ly, to his companion—" By Jove ! she is a goddess.'" The ladies made remarks of a similar nature. I was particular. ■ly struck with the following. A matronly lady observed to 186 MARRIAGE. another ot similar appearance—" What a most beautiful and well-formed lady your young friend is!" " Yes," was the reply ; " but you see her now as she has been made by the art of the milliner : you should see her as nature has formed her! I can assure you, in that condition she is as fiat as a board!" It is to be hoped, from the influence of facts of this na- ture, in conjunction with the other evils which have been mentioned, that honest young men will, for their own sakes, come forward en masse, avow their sentiments, and unfurl their banner—Industry, together with honesty in dressing, or no wives. When this is done, distinctly understood and practiced, we shall see a radical change in the dress and habits of the ladies, and not till then. Let young men encourage honesty and industry, and a great change will be wrought in society. What a differ- ence in our families and children ! What great improve- ment may we not reasonably expect! Let things go on as they now are, and in a few centuries the result will be seen, and felt too, in this country, by a small, dwarfish, consumptive, and incipient race of mortals—on whom will devolve the honorable task of perpetuating the political ex- istence, name, and constitution of this republic How are we situated at the present time % Why, in some circles, and those not very limited in extent, every third woman is an invalid, and every sixth male also. They labor under dyspepsia, particular weaknesses, and many oth er diseases of the kind—all produced by a violation of phy- sical laws. The only true means of saving this country from dismemberment, decreasing influence, and from being a nation of hospitals, is by commencing at once a great social reform. Examine the condition of the times, and see what can be foretold by their aspect. At what stage of the world, and at what period, as far back as our knowledge extends has HEREDITARV influences. 187 there been a similar upturning, loosening, and stirring up of every principle and institution, moral, social, political, »nd intellectual \ Every one is beginning to inquire into ihe abuses, visible and invisible, with which society is pregnant. Every one feels an indistinct prompting for a thange. All are looking from the quarter from which it nust emanate. When has the religious world been so dis- .racted by dissensions and differences of opinion 1 Were there ever as many changes and innovations in theology, as at the present time 1 When did science unfold truths of greater importance and in greater profusion, than at this moment 1 Have the political world and the political insti- stitutions of the day ever been in so strange a situation as they are now 1 When did our various systems of educa- tion differ as widely, and hang as loosely together as they now do 1 None are stamped with the character of permanency, for all seem aware that errors will and must be reformed. Does not everything appear to be hurrying into one grand reser- voir, as it were, where all principles shall become united in one chaotic mass 1 Theologians, philosophers, and poli- ticians may, from the purest motives, do all in their power to reduce this chaos to order, but it will be of little or no avail. The commencement, to be complete and thorough, must be made farther back than their peculiar spheres of action ; for, all these various systems are mere offsets from the social circle. Political government originated from patriarchal authority. Education is affected materially by social manners and customs. And so with all other insti- tutions—they proceed directly or indirectly from the fami- ly circle. Let the reform be commenced here, on the prin- ciples of phrenology and physiology, and a gradual process of regeneration will be entered on, that will produce the most salutary effects upon the habits, characters, motives, and ac- tions of all mankind. , , ,. Parents and guardians must feel the full force of the ob- 188 marriage. ligations which rest on them, and in consequence, train their children for true happiness and usefulness. Young ladies, in particular, should be careful with whom they as- sociate, and whom they encourage—for, it must be borne in mind, that it is not every talented, wealthy, or fashion- able young man that will make the best husband and fa- ther. In these matters, rest assured we cannot be too careful. The act of marriage is the most responsible in which we can engage; as connected with our own happiness in this life, and through us to those who shall exist after our death. No individual is a proper subject to become an agent for the transmission of soul and body to posterity, unless he or she is free from all hereditary disease ; his or her organization sound and complete; his or her mind and body free from all those habits and vices which tend to weaken our powers, debase our feelings, and render us morally degraded ; and, he or she in the full, regular and natural exercise of all those powers and faculties which God, in infinite wisdom, has so beautifully and harmoniously adapted to the wants of our condition. One sufficient, amply sufficient, reason, if none others ex isted, why we should be thus particular, is, because we hand down to posterity, the qualities which we possess in the highest activity and strength. Parents are to be blamed for the natural, primitive de fects of their children—for, it is an inevitable law of nature, that constitutional qualities and deficiencies are hereditary Children are impaired, and their physical structures ill-bal anced, from various causes, in harmony with the varieties of organizations that become united. The marriage of those who are enfeebled by age, or debilitated by disease, must be productive of little stamina in the offspring. Those persons who are aware of being under the influ- ence of a constitutional tendency to any disease, hav« a moral law within themselves why they should not ente; r a hundred fold of wheat from off a barren, sterile, sandy toil, as to expect perfect children from imperfect parents. The violation of the preceding laws, at some periods of existence is, in a great measure, the cause why there are so much native imperfection and natural depravity in the world, and not because we were constituted so frail and bad by the design of heaven, or that it proceeds from the fall of our forefathers. It is time that we should awake to this subject. Its evils are sufficiently strong and glaring for us to take some of the blame to ourselves, instead of casting the whole burden upon the head of poor old Adam. He has been our scape-goat long enough ; and, at this day of light and knowledge, we can atone for this sin of neglect only by an immediate and complete reform. There is another important principle which should be stated, and one whose bearings are as extensive in their ap- plication, as any connected with the subject, which is: As is the mental condition of the parents, particularly the mother, before the birth of the child—so is the state of the mind after birth ; and, this principle also extends to an in- fluence on the bodily condition. It is stated by Pinel, " that out of ninety-two children born after the blowing up of the Arsenal at London, in 1793, eight were affected by a species of cretinism, eight died before the expiration of the fifth year, thirty-three languished through a miserable 192 MARRIAGE. existence of from nine to ten months duration, sixteen died on coming into the world, and two were born with numer- ous fractures of the larger bones." Children born during the Reign of Terror, in France, were, to a vast proportion, idiots and insane. Many case? are on record, some of which we have seen, where the mo- ther, who had received some strong impression, stamped '* upon the child indelibly. A mother near Hudson, State of New York, became very anxious for a bunch of currants to gratify her appetite—her mind continued resting upon the pleasure to be derived from them, and her child has a bunch of currants impressed as plainly and as legibly as could be drawn, on his shoulders. In the eastern part of the State of Massachusetts, is a lad, whose actions and manners closely resemble those of a monkey. He is idiotic, and has a very small and contracted brow, occasioned by the mo- ther having been startled- by one of these animals. In Worcester county, is a lad of some twenty years of agft, who appears to be mimicking a turtle in every motion—he also is idiotic. The mind of his mother was disturbed from its tranquility by the appearance of a turtle—hence the re- sult. We could proceed almost ad infinitum, and enumer ate cases which support the principle here advanced ; but, there is no necessity for it. In the same manner, passions, desires, impulses, and ten- dencies of mind, as well as special talents are given to the child, by a special and particular exercise of these faculties in the parent. Both physical and mental qualities cease to grow, or are not formed at all; and, in other cases, they are doubled in size and activity in consequence of the in- fluence or impressions which circumstances have had upon the mind of the mother before the birth of the child. Facts could be adduced to almost any extent, had we time and room. If the principle can be clearly established, that this inti mate relationship and connexion between the parent an^ HEREDITARY INFLUENCES. 193 child do exist, then it is a subject worthy the attention of all, and demands the serious notice of every man and wo man, who is, or ever intends to become a parent. Some person's false delicacy may step in here, and charge us with using rather too strong and plain language in a work intended for promiscuous circulation ; and so has it called out, on many other occasions, with such influence, that ministers, teachers, and authors, have been compelled to hold their peace on this most important of all subjects connected with our earthly existence—until nature herself has burst forth in a flood of tears, and is giving vent to un- utterable anguish, in consequence of her sufferings, caused by the vice and wretchedness that have been brought into the world, through sheer and culpable ignorance of these laws. As public sentiment becomes more correct and liberal, however, they will cry, "give—give;" and the thousands and millions, now suffering daily for the want of this know- ledge, will be enlightened. Is it not absurd for any one to advance the opinion, that it is too delicate a subject to improve the human race ; while at the same time the animal kingdom is thought to be of such vital importance 1 Great pains are taken to improve our breeds of horses and sheep—papers are published, books circulated, and much said and done on this subject—those individuals who are quite active in these stock improve- ments being looked upon as very public-spirited men. Even the hog is not exempt from these attempts at improve- ment, and very successful have they been too. But man, the noblest work of God, made in His own image and like- ness, possessed of an immortal mind, heir to a future exist- ence, and having charge over these animals must be allow- ed to go on, gather strength in impurity and imperfections, and grow more imperfect daily, because of a proper delicacy. How excessively inconsistent-as though if it were im- proper for us to become acquainted with these laws, it 194 MARRIAGE. would still be necessary for us to understand them so as properly to discharge the duties which devolve on us as parents. If it be really too delicate to discuss the principles neces- sary to be known and observed before one is qualified to . enter on the duties incident to this change of condition- then, it is most certainly entirely too delicate to be married, and absolutely shocking to become parents. You may attempt to hinder the progress of knowledge by saying, that the time has not yet come for us to understand these things. But if you wait until the world grows older, and men wiser, before you deem it advisable for these prin- ciples to be understood and put in operation, there can be little doubt that time would not be brought about, until na- ture should burst her bonds and give o'er the struggle. Jacob in his day, 1739 years before the Christian era, and when there was far less necessity for the knowledge, knew more of this subject than we do in the nineteenth century, from that period. For farther information on this subject, we refer you to the 30th and 31st chapters of Genesis, where you will find the principle carried into practical operation. The fact that every cartman in our streets, and almost every farmer in the country, knows more of these things as connected with the animal kingdom, when a few paltry dollars and cents have been the inducement for investigation, than he does when applied to his own children, speaks volumes, and should be sufficient, entirely to stifle every approach to false delicacy and sickly senti- ment on this subject. Certain strict sectarians and peculiar religionists may say it is assuming too much—taking the work of God out of his own hands, because Providence will always direct in these matters. To them we would remark, so will Providence take care of our cattle in the same way, and furnish in them all the qualities we desire—rather a broken reed to lean on in this respect. Faith would hardly prevent your stock from running out and down, unless HEREDITARY INFLUENCES. 195 good, prompt, and substantial common sense works accom- panied your belief. The true nature of the case is: The means for continuing the existence of man are put into our hands, and if we use them properly, we shall have the blessings of Providence as a matter of course; but, if we abuse this power, the curse will rest on our own heads, and our children will suffer the consequences. Society, generally, has been wrapped in cloaks of ignorance and innocence long enough. We most certainly have obeyed the command to increase and multiply; but, in a most reckless, unprincipled, and impious manner, without having paid any regard whatever to many of the principles established by Almighty Power, as guides for our conduct in these transactions. That you may see the truth of what has been stated, and feel its force, you have only to look into the bosoms of your own families, or of your acquaintance, and notice the dif- ference between those who obey the laws of their organiza- tion and those who do not. Observe what kind of children they severally send into the world. Mark the degree of health, perfection, and happiness there is in those families, when compared, and you will not fail to forget the delicacy of the subject in contemplation of its vast importance. 196 MARRIAGE. EXTREMES IN MARRIAGE AVOIDED. There is great need of a thorough social reform: in fact, no reform can succeed when our social relations, and the proper training of children are neglected. The time never has been, agreeably to history, when our social relations have been conducted strictly in acordance with the laws of our being. The religion of our Saviour has done more, up to the present time, to improve our social rela- tions, and to elevate the condition of woman, than all things beside. Still, Christ presented some general rules by which we should be guided, as connected with our moral relations only, they having an intimate connexion with our social; while, it is left to the sciences of Phrenology and Physiology to present the real nature of man, and to show on what laws and principles the social nature of man is or- ganized, for what purposes, and how" we can best secure the objects of our destiny, in compliance with these laws. We see, through the light of these sciences,that man was created a social being, on scientific principles, for the sake of constituting him a special agent of his race ; and that, perfect love between the sexes depends on these principles and fixed laws, and that neither God's designs nor man's best interests can be secured without attending to these laws. Inasmuch then, as a social reform is at the foundation of all other reforms, and as Phrenology and Physiology do point out the real duties and relations of man to his fellow- man, we infer that these sciences have a claim on society paramount to all others that have been presented, and that those who intend to marry, are under a moral, social, and intellectual obligation, not only to become thoroughly ac- EXTRFMES avoided. 197 quainted with the nature of these laws, but also to obey them practically. Morally speaking, man has no right to marry unless he is prepared to conform to the dictates of that nature, and obey her laws. If we were mere animals in nature and ca- pacity, and transmitted only that nature to posterity, then it would be right to live and act like animals, but not otherwise. I would say then, to young men and women, do not take one step towards consummating your affections in matrimonial life, till you know what you are to do, how you your are to do it, and whether you are prepared to act with reference to the proper results. As you value the laws of your being, and your own individual happiness, let me entreat you, when choosing a companion, to regard marriage as a matter of reason and judgment, as well as of love and feeling. To those who have already entered the pale of matrimonial life, and have taken on themselves the iesponsibilities of domestic duties and relations, let my en- treaties be not disregarded ; for, you should discharge these new obligations in a becoming manner ; not as though be- cause you are married you have perfect license to yield to uncontrolled passion, to multiply and rear children just as i. happens, without reference to consequences ; but, act like sensible, moral, and intellectual beings, not only for your own mutual best interests, but for posterity and eter- nity Do not console yourselves with the idea, that you have perfect liberty, if a husband, to violate the happiness and feeling of your wife, to break her constitution, and shorten her days, by gratifying extravagant passions. Death makes many inroads in family circles, in conse- ouence of the excessive and abusive exercise of the sexual feelines. Another important idea should be borne in mind, that the interests and happiness of both, are intimately con- ™rted so that by securing our own happiness effectually, we secure that of our companion also. Where true love exists, the one cannot be happy or miserable without af- 198 MARRIAGE. fecting the other. A separate class of friends, separate purse, separate table, and separate enjoyments, cannot ex- ist where there is true love; for, its effects are to combine all the energies and all the sources of happiness: true love is a friend that "sticketh closer than a brother," and it bindeth stronger than the band around the sheaf of wheat. Another evil in domestic life, arises from the fact that husbands and wives do not make sufficient endeavor to adapt themselves to each other; but each is continually exerting him or herself to bring others under his or her influence, failing to adapt themselves to their com- panions, but requiring perfect adaptation from them ; and, in this way, neither are accommodated or agreeably enter- tained. It is too frequently the case, that husbands are favorably diposed to render their wives happy, but are so ignorant of their real characters, dispositions, capacities, and or ganizations, that they require impossibilities and fail to fulfil their own obligations. A thorough knowledge of each others' characters is ab- solutely necessary for perfect happiness; and, as Phreno- logy and Physiology unfold the true nature of man, they are the sciences, above all others, that should be studied in connexion with our social relations. Let all, then, come to this book of Nature and unfold its pages, and learn from them their duty, as social beings: study their own natures, and that of others. Witnessing as I do daily in my profession, and as I have done for fifteen years past, the debasing result of the continued violation of our social relations, I am constrained to speak thus plain- ly, and urge the claims of abused nature and her broken laws; and, had I the voice and trumpet of an angel, the united talents of the nation, and the reformation of man depended on my influence and efforts, I should not cease my exertions till I had made every man and woman ac- EXTREMES avoided 199 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SEXES. MALE FORM. FEMALE FO RM. No. 24. No. 25. quainted with the laws of Phrenology and Physiology. I entreat you, therefore, one and all, to make yourselves thoroughly acquainted with your own organization, act according to the laws of your being, and "be not unequal- ly yoked together." We give the above drawings as illustrations of the differ- ences in form between the sexes. The male and female or- ganizations are such as to conform most happily to the 200 MARRIAGE. diferent circles in which they move, and the different du- ties to be performed by each respectively. As seen, the male has the broader shoulders and chest; he is also taller proportionally, possesses larger lungs, heart, and larynx; his voice, in consequence, being rough- er and more sonorous. The situation of the female makes her dependent upon the male. Feminine is used in con- tradistinction to masculine: the one having reference to vigor, strength, and robustness—proper requisites for the male, and the absence of which renders him contemptible, and subject to the disgraceful epithet of feminine ; the oth- er being characteristic of the softness, mildness, delicacy, and beauty, and all other womanly qualities. The female is more narrow in the chest. Her neck is of less vol- ume ; her limbs throughout are more rounded and delicate, and she has the wider pelvis—in consequence of which, her step is less firm and decided. The human body is divided anatomically and physiolo- gically, into three distinct divisions : 1st. the Abdominal; 2d. the Thoracic; 3d. the Cephalic regions. First. The Abdominal region, (lying between letters a. and b.) It embraces the whole of the digestive and chyle-making apparatus, together with the organs of gener- ation. This region predominates in the female, giving the ca- pability of manufacturing an extra supply of nutrition—a power which, as mothers, they must possess in order to maintain themselves and properly maintain their offspring. Some writers have fallen into a manifest error, (particu- larly Dr. Alexander Walker,) by confounding the func- tions of these organs with those comprising the. Thoracic region, and stating that the " vital system " is larger in the female than in the male. They make nutrition and vi- tality—two terms wholly distinct in their signification__ synonymous. Second. The Thoracic region, (lying between b. and EXTREMES AVOIDED. 201 c.) This important part of the body is the centre, and great container of those organs to whose functions are as- cribed respiration and circulation, and embraces the heart and lungs particularly. This region predominates in man, and to it must be ascribed his greater size, strength, and impetuosity, owing to the fact that our activity, physically, and sometimes mentally, is dependent on the activity of the sanguineous circulation. Man leads a life of greater activity and exercise than woman. From this, also, the muscular system becomes more developed; and, in man, it stands out more clearly ; also, in them, particular mus cles, can be more distinctly defined. No. 27. The positions occupied by these two separate regions are marked in the figures. By an attentive observation of their location, you will be enabled to decide very correctly 9* 202 MARRIAGE. in what degree they are developed in those whom you meet daily—whether one overbalances the other, or whe- ther there is a true and natural proportion between them. These organs have to do, mainly, with the body, and man's physical nature. The remaining region belongs more directly to mind and the powers of sensation. Thirdly. The Cephalic region, (lying above c.) It embraces the head, containing the brain proper, the me- dulla oblongata, the roots of the cranial nerves, the face, and the blood-vessels which supply these various parts. The characteristics which distinguish male and female, are very strongly marked in this region. So clear are they, that one who has had experience in this department, can point out a male from a female by the scull alone. On page 201, we give a cut of a w ell-balanced (phrenolo- gically speaking) male head, and a well-propotioned fe- male one is presented on page 203. The qualities peculiar to each can be explained and understood better by refer- ring to these cuts, than by any other means. The male head is larger in size—broader from ear to ear —has a higher and deeper forehead—is also broader in the occipital region, and will uniformly measure more from the ear to Firmness. The female head is more narrow in the base—higher and fuller in the coronal region, where the moral sentiments are situated, which give mildness and moderation to the character. The occiput, or back portion of the head, is longer and contains more brain in proportion, while the cerebullum is less. To sum up the leading dif- ferences of character: the male has stronger intellect, will, and propensities, together with greater force and energy of character; while the female has the stronger moral senti- ments, and domestic feelings. These leading peculiarities of the sexes, arise from the difference in the size and combination of the following fac- ulties : Benevolence, Veneration, Approbativeness, Consci- entiousness, Adhesiveness, Secretiveness, Ideality, Individ- EXTREMES AVOIDED. 203 No. 26. uality, and Philoprogenitiveness are stronger in the female sex; while Amativeness, Combativeness, Destructiveness, Self-Esteem, Firmness, Acquisitiveness, Constructiveness, Casuality, and Comparison, are stronger in the male. Women are universally noted for fondness of children, strength of attachment for friends—for their ease, politeness, and for disinterestedness—for kindness, deep religious and devotional feeling—refinement, great ambition and curiosi- ty—for taste and susceptibility of impressions, together with quickness and readiness of resource, occasioned by their more narrow brain, and consequent greater mental activity: while man is acknowledged to have naturally more dignity, pride, resolution, independence, force, and energy, together with greater mental power, growing out of the greater width of his head—it being a phrenological rule, that length of fibre is an index of activity, while width denotes power. 204 MARRIAGE SUGGESTIONS: DEVELOPMENTS WHICH SHOULD AND SHOULD NOT BE UNITED I have previously stated that extremes of the same de- velopment, either very large or very small, should never go together. 1 will now illustrate my meaning with suita- ble cuts, and explanatory remarks. The first cut to which your attention is called, has a very large head, and slim physiology: too much brain and nervous power for his vital system to sustain. No. 29. For various reasons, this gentleman should not marry one exactly his counterpart, neither the opposite extreme IMPORTANT SUGGESTIONS. 205 If he should be united with the same organization, there would be too much of the mental, and not sufficient physi- cal power, to give health, strength, and vitality ; and his children would inherit a nervous, puny, weakly, and sus- ceptible frame of mind. He has a predominance of the re- flective intellect, with uncommon perseverance and con- centration of mind, with limited observation, so that he is liable to abstractedness of thought, forgets to eat, and fre quently does not hear or heed the call to dinner. If the organization of the wife should be like his, she would be so absent-minded'that she would forget to prepare dinner; or, if she commenced she would be just as likely to take up a book and neglect her domestic duties—and, in this way, many inconveniences would arise. She should have more observation, less reflection and abstractedness of mind, that she may attend to the details and minutiae of things which he generally overlooks ; yet, if her reflectives were small, or not all developed, she would fail to adapt herself agreeably to him. His large Concentrativeness and rather small Language incline him to relate long stories, and to hesitate, sometimes, for the appropriate word or expres- sion. If the case were reversed, and she had large Language and small Concentrativeness, her patience would soon be exhausted, and she would desire to supply the ellipsis in his speech. Again, his head being large in proportion to the size of his body, particularly at the corners of Causal- ity, Mirthfulness, and Cautiousnesss, it would not do for his companion to be a small woman, with a closely built form, and small head. It is in accordance with the order of Nature, that wo- man's capacity for child-birth is in harmony with her own organization; but it cannot be adapted to extremes of dif- ference in size, which many times cause either the life of the mother, or that of the child to be sacrificed. His Causality is very large, and disposes him to give and reauire a reason for every thing; and, if she were incapa- 206 MARRIAGE. JUDAS JUNIER. No. 30. ble of tendering a reason, it would be a source of mortifica- tion and dissatisfaction to hirn. His Conscientiousness and Firmness are very large : he is a terror to evil-doers, and will adhere to what he thinks is truth and justice ; and, if he should be united to one in whom these faculties were small, she would be wanting in sterling virtue, uprightness and stability of character, for which he is so remarkable. There would then be a want of appreciation of the motives of each other, and proper adap- tation. He would criticise her, because she did not attain his standard, and she would blame him for censoriousness, so there would be constant regret and unhappiness. The above head is not well-proportioned, at all. Some of the faculties are very large, while others are very small; IMPORTANT SUGGESTIONS. 207 MR. G O S S E . No. 31. constituting the owner of it a very uneven, unsafe, and sui- genius character : as those persons whose heads are not well-balanced, cannot be relied on as safe and judicious. In this case Benevolence is small, Veneration and Conscien- tiousness not large/while Acquisitiveness, Firmness and De- structiveness, are very predominant. All such an organi- zation would desire to do, would be to make money at all hazards, sacrificing every thing beside for the accomplish- ment of this main object. If he had a wife, with the same organization, then there would be too much mind bent into a selfish channel, while many important subjects, connect- ed with their mental and moral relations, would be neglect- ed. They would be too one-sided in every thing, extreme- ly selfish, stubborn, passionate, and regardless of the wants and woes of their neighbors—the one stimulating the other 208 MARRIAGE. to selfishess and cruelty. The children of such parents would be outrages on civilized society. There would be no redeeming trait in the parent which the child could in- herit ; and if these selfish organs were very active in the pa- rents, as they probably would be, then they would be still larger and more active in the children. It would not an- swer for the wife to have entirely a reverse organization; for then there would be no sympathy between them, the one being continually dissatisfied with the actions of the other; but, she would need the moral sentiments large enough to exert a counteracting influence upon his defi- ciencies. In this way their offspring would be an improved edition of themselves. The head on page 207, also has extremes of developments, but is the reverse of the preceding cut, having very large Be nevolence, with only average Firmnes, Acquisitiveness, and Destructiveness. He gave away a fortune, and not possessing energy enough to support himself, was a burden to his friends and family : yet, he was a man of superior intel- lect, and received a good education. His large and indis- creet Benevolence, however, was his principal failing. If he had married a person with equally large Benevolence, they would have squandered all their property, and would have been thrown upon the charities of others for a sup- port. They would have been wanting in energy and econ- omy, without which no family can prosper; and their chil- dren would never would have accomplished much in the world, but would have been so good, as to be good for nothing. But, if the wife possessed more of the ener- getic qualities, more decision, of charater, and less disin- terestedness of feeling, then she would be a gentle check to his sympathies, a spur to his energy and economy, and would do for him, as did a woman for her husband, liv- ing in P. He gave her twenty dollars per week, to meet Note. For further particulars in relation to the three cuts above, see Phre- nological Almanac for 1847. IMPORTANT SUGGESTIONS. 209 No. 32. their family expenses; but she, knowing his prodigality and liability to lose all his property, saved ten dollars every week, and continued to do so year after year. Even- tually, (as she expected,) he failed, greatly in debt, and would have been obliged to sacrifice all his property, to meet the demands of his creditors, had not his wife, like a good angel, ministering to him in the hour of his distress, referred him to the Bible for consolation, (a book that had been heretofore sealed to him,) on opening which, to his great surprise, he found as many ten dollar bills between the various leaves, as they had been married weeks: enough to satisfy all his creditors, and to enable him to start again in business. Cuts 32 and 33, are correct outlines of a woman, whose his- tory is given below. As a young lady she was fair, very social, entertaining, and fascinating, and had many suitors from those in respectable ranks in society, was a member of a 210 MARRIAGE. No. 33. church for five years, and, at one time, prayers were said for her in the church, because it was thought she had been persecuted. Her passions, however, broke loose again, and as I was informed by one who knew her well, having lived in the same neighborhood, she was not positively detected, neither was her career ended, until she had poisoned be- tween thirty and forty individuals of various ages, all to ac- complish a great variety of selfish purposes. " The above cuts present a side and back view of the head of a woman by the name of Gesche Margarethe Gottfried, of Germany. Dr. Hirschfeld, of Bremen, took the bust and sent it to the Edinburgh Phrenological Society, from a copy of which these cuts are taken. The back view shows a large neck and great breadth of the head, particularly in the region of Secretiveness and Destructiveness, and, also great height, indicating that the organs of Self-Esteem and Firm- ness were enormously large. The side view of the head shows that the brain was located chiefly in the selfish pro- IMPORTANT SUGGESTIONS. 211 pensities and sentiments ; and that there was a very great deficiency of the moral sentiments,—in fact, an almost en- tire want of Benevolence and Conscientiousness. The organ of Amativeness was decidedly large. Adhesiveness mode- rate, and Philoprogenitiveness only full. From such an or- ganization we should infer, according to phrenology, that the individual would be cruel, cunning, sensual, supremely selfish, and very independent, and would be entirely desti- tute of kindness, affection, benevolence, and a sense of jus- tice. And her true character corresponds most perfectly with her organization. Her father was a tailor in Bremen— an active and industrious man,—though very stingy, selfish) and superstitious. Gesche was an only daughter—became addicted to stealing in her seventh year, and continued to commit petty thefts until her twentieth year, when she mar- ried a man by the name of Miltenburg. He is represented as having been fond of his wife, but she had been married only four months before she fell in love with Gott- fried, and only a few months after this with another man by the name of Kissau. After having three children by Mil- tenburg, she resolved to murder him, in order to marry Gottfried ; but, this being done, two obstacles remained in the way__her parents interferred, and said the union never should be consummated, and then Gottfried declined marry- ino- her on account of her children. Her mother being un- well came to reside with her for a time, and Gesche seized this opportunity to kill her mother, and within ten weeks after this date, she put to death her father and three children. Another obstacle to the marriage arose.—Her Brother unex- pectedly returned home from a foreign country, and him she also killed. But she was scarcely married to Gottfried before he also became an object of her jealousy and fell a victim to her Destructiveness. She murdered after this, two of her suitors, and several of her acquaintances. She was finally detected, convicted, and condemned to death for these numerous murders, all of which she accomplished by 212 MARRIAGE. means of poison. Among these, were, both her parents, her three children, her brother, two husbands, and two suitors— persons connected to her by the nearest, dearest, and most sacred ties. It seemed as though she would permit no ob- ject to stand in the way of gratifying her Amativeness and Destructiveness, and that she actually took delight in the destruction of human life." Supposing Gosse had married Mrs. Gottfried by way of counterbalancing his own deficiencies, what a predicament he soon would have been in ; or, supposing that Judas Junior, had selected her as a help-meet, because her organ- ization was similar to his, what would have been the result, taking both their histories and developements into account 1 Such a woman ought not to be married at all; and yet, she had three husbands and three children, who are all victims, to her selfishness and brutality. No. 34. This man has an extreme mental and physical organi- zation, which produced extreme traits of character. He IMPORTANT FACTS. 213 was extravagant in every thing he said or did—never used tame language to express his ideas—possessed very strong imagination and originality of thought, with small observa- tion, and such limited practical, common sense, that he was unable to lake care of a family, scarcely to provide for his own individual wants. He lived most of the time in his own reveries, building imaginary castles of his own creation, —subjects too light and airy for mortals to live on. His only means for securing a livelihood was by writing poetry, acrostics, &c.; so that he was frequently very destitute of the common necessaries of life, having no business capacity whatever. Many more illustrations might be presented, setting forth other extremes of character; but I trust the above will suf- fice to explain the general idea that, where extremes exist in the character of individuals, these extremes should be modified as much as possible. One reference, of course, should be had to the influence of circumstances, and the bias of education in developing, or restraining the various mental powers; for, their influ- ence at times, is great, though never equal to the native original development. IMPORTANT FACTS. MARRIAGE AND LONG LTFE. The influence of marriage on health and human happiness, is an interesting and important inquiry. As this institution is based on the natural laws of the human constitution, there can be no doubt but that its relations, when properly enter- ed into, are productive, not only of happiness, but of a greater increase of health, as well as longevity. A Eu- ropean philosopher has recently made very extensive ob- servations on this subject, and collected a great mass of facts 214 MARRIAGE. which conclusively settle these points. His researches, to- gether with what was previously known, give the following remarkable results: Among unmarried men, at the ages from thirty to forty-five, the average number of deaths are only eighteen. For forty-one bachelors who attain the age of forty, there are seventy-eight married men who do the same. As age advances, the difference becomes more strik- ing. At sixty, there are only twenty-two unmarried men alive, for ninety-eight who have been married. At seventy, there are eleven bachelors to twenty-seven married men; and at eighty, there are nine married men for three single ones. Nearly the same rule holds good in relation to the female sex. Married women at the age of thirty, taking one with another, may expect to live thirty-six years longer; while for the unmarried the expectation of life is only about thirty years. Of those who attain the age of forty-five, there are seventy-two married ladies for fifty-two single ladies. These data are the result of actual facts, by observ- ing the difference of longevity between the married and the unmarried. PROGENY OF MEN OF GENIUS. A writer in the London Quarterly, gives the following re- markable array of facts in relation to the family history of men, eminently distinguished for intellectual attainments. The remarks occur in an article on the subject of an exten- sion of the right of property of authors in their productions —a bill for that purpose having been under discussion in the British Parliament. " We are not going to speculate," he says, " about the causes of the fact—but a fact it is—that men distinguished for extraordinary intellectual power of any sort, very rarely leave more than a very brief line of progeny behind them. IMPORTANT FACTS. 215 Men of genius have scarcely ever done so—men of imagi- native genius, we might say, almost never. With the one exception, of the noble Surrey, we cannot at this moment point out a representative in the male line, even so far down as in the third generation of any English Poet, and we believe the case is the same in France. The blood of beings of that order can seldom be traced far dowm even in the female line. With the exception of Surrey and Spen- cer, we are not aware of any great English author of at all remote date, from whose body any living person claims to be descended. There is no other real English poet prior to the middle of the eighteenth century, and we believe no great author of any sort, except Clarendon and Shaftesbury, of whose blood we have any inheritance amongst us. Chaucer's only son died childless. Shakspeare's line ex- pired in his daughter's only daughter. None of the other dramatists of that age left any progeny—nor Raleigh, nor Bacon, nor Cowley, nor Butler. The grand-daughter of Milton was the last of his blood. Newton, Locke, Popes Swift, Arbuthnot, Hume, Gibbon, Cowper, Gray, Walpole, Cavendish—and we might greatly extend the list—never married. Neither Bolingbroke, nor Addison, nor Warbur- ton, nor Johnson, nor Burke, transmitted their blood. M. Renord's last argument against a perpetuity in the literary property is, that it would be founding another noblesse. Neither jealous aristocracy nor envious jacobinism need be under much alarm. When a human race has produced its "bright consummate flower" in this kind, it "seems com- monly to be near its end." Poor Goldsmith might have been mentioned in the above list. The theory is illustrat- ed In our own day. The two greatest names in science and literature of our time where Davy and Sir Walter Scott. The first died childless. Sir Walter left four children, of whom three are dead, only one of them, (Mrs. Lockhart) leaving issue, and the fourth (his eldest son,) though living, and long married, has no issue. These are curious facts. 216 MARRIAGE. CHANCES OF MARRIAGES. The following curious statement by Dr. Granville, is taken from an English paper. It is drawn from the regis- tered cases of 876 women, and is derived from their answers to the age at which they respectively married. It is the first ever constructed to exhibit to females their chances of marriage at various ages.—Of 876 females their married 3 at 13 1 at 30 36 at 25 13 at 14 7 at 31 24 at 26 16 at 15 5 at 32 6 at 34 43 at 16 7 at 33 2 at 35 55 at 17 113 at 20 0 at 36 66 at 18 86 at 21 - 2 at 37 115 at 19 85 at 22 0 at 38 20 at 27 59 at 23 1 at 39 22 at 28 58 at 24 0 at 40 17 at 29 One single remark before I close, particularly for your own good. Ponder it well, abide by it, and happiness will be yours. Neglect its monitions, and misery will almost certainly be your destiny. Study well your own character, and that of the one whom you select as your partner for life, before you make this important choicf THE END. r"Jfc7V I /Vl L<^fi INE NATIONAL LIBRARY OF MEDIC. 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