DISORDERS OF THE INSTINCTS 
AND THE EMOTIONS 
The Parapathiac Disorders 
BY 
WILHELM STEKEL 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
Two Volumes-Vol. 1. PECULIARITIES OF 
BEHAVIOR 
Wandering Mania, Dipsomania, Cleptomania, 
Pyromania and Allied Impulsive Acts 
BY 
WILHELM STEKEL 
Authorized English Version 
by 
JAMES S. VAN TESLAAR 
Volume One 
BONI AND LIVERIGHT 
PUBLISHERS NEW YORK 
1924 Peculiarities of Behavior 
Copyright, 1924, by 
Boni and Liveright, Inc. 
All Rights Reserved 
Volume One 
Printed in the United States of America TRANSLATOR'S PREFACE 
Dr. Wilhelm Stekel's studies in peculiarities of behavior from 
which this English version is now offered are based on the newer 
knowledge of psychology. In these studies the human instincts 
and emotions are examined for the first time in the light of their 
developmental history. Dr. Wilhelm Stekel is one of the pioneers 
in the field. Reaching greater depths than was possible hereto- 
fore these studies throw light upon the most varied aspects of 
mental activity so that students of any problems in which human 
nature plays a role cannot fail to be interested in these far- 
reaching investigations into the depths of the human soul. 
The present work covers the peculiarities of behavior known 
as impulsive acts. Cleptomania, gambling, pyromania and allied 
impulses are subjected to the most thorough scrutiny which they 
have thus far received in the history of psychology. The sig- 
nificance of many of these mental manifestations is revealed 
herein for the first time. Such varied conduct disorders as clep- 
tomania, bargain hunting, greed, and spendthriftiness are shown 
to have certain common roots in the instincts and emotions of 
mankind. One of the most encouraging features of the work is 
the proof it furnishes that many peculiarities of conduct which 
have heretofore baffled sociologists, physicians, legislators, crim- 
inologists and others interested in human welfare are amenable 
to psychotherapeutic re-education. 
This is the more gratifying since the study of the human 
instincts and emotions has remained until recently an obscure and 
pathetically meager subdivision of theoretical psychology. Dis- 
cussions of such generalities as nomenclature, methods of ap- 
proach, or classification of instincts fail to disclose any funda- 
mental principles which shall serve as a basis for fruitful inquiry. 
As a rule, speculation yields but little light in proportion to the 
amount of heat it generates. Meanwhile investigators engaged in 
the allied field of abnormal psychology have been more fortunate. 
The study of so-called functional nervous disorders has revealed 
some of the most important laws which govern our mental proc- 
esses, both during health and disease. Repression, emotional 
transference and resistance, psychosexual infantilism, symbolism 
V VI 
TRANSLATOR'S PREFACE 
and the unconscious are a few of the fundamental concepts which 
psychology owes to psychopathology. 
It is interesting to note that this development has its parallel 
upon the allied fields of physiology and pathology. The study of 
the internal glandular secretions, to quote a conspicuous illustra- 
tion, belongs legitimately to physiology, the internal secretions of 
glands being a part of the normal bodily functions. Nevertheless 
we are indebted to the researches of pathologists and the observa- 
tions of clinicians rather than to physiologists for most of our 
knowledge concerning the operation of endocrines, as the internal 
glandular secretions are called. The function of endocrines was 
barely suspected by physiologists and endocrinology was unknown 
until pathologists and internists turned their attention to the role 
which the glands play under certain abnormal conditions. 
The comparison holds true in many other respects. Without 
the far-reaching discoveries in so-called abnormal psychology our 
knowledge of normal mental functions and processes would be as 
incomplete and unsatisfactory as our knowledge of glandular func- 
tions was until pathologic research disclosed the realm of en- 
docrines. The gap which has heretofore arbitrarily separated 
mental pathology from psychology has been abolished. Our 
mental processes stand revealed as being regulated by the same 
laws during health and disease. 
Claude Bernard, the eminent French physiologist, has stated 
that the time will come when the philosopher, the poet and the 
scientist will speak the same language so that they will understand 
one another. Psychology seems particularly well suited to serve 
as such a common vehicle of expression; and Dr. Stekel seems to 
possess the loftiness of the philosopher and the intuitive insight 
of the artist along with the rigorous technique of the scientist. 
Here and there his writings display the sort of understanding 
which seems intuitive rather than empirically derived. Neverthe- 
less the careful reader will not fail to discern that it is always the 
scientist who speaks-a scientist whose soul has not undergone 
that atrophy of the artistic sense which is perhaps the penalty of 
narrow overspecialization. 
Many of the clinical histories in this work show that at times 
truth does sound stranger than fiction. Long ago William James 
was impressed by this fact. Referring to Janet's clinical histories 
(which are similar, but rather superficial by comparison) he 
stated that "they read like romances." In this as well as in many 
other respects the autobiographic account of a woman's delusional 
state, recorded in Chapter III, is certainly unique. TRANSLATOR'S PREFACE 
VII 
The wide range of subjects treated in this work and the still 
wider range of the deductions and conclusions which flow out of 
the author's detailed analyses may seem unusual. The variety of 
the subjects touched upon is due to the manifold character of 
mental operations, all of which, however, are reducible to the 
same basic instincts and emotions. Thus, in spite of the diversity 
of the themes covered by Dr. Stekel, there is an underlying unity 
to his conclusions and deductions, inasmuch as the laws which 
regulate our mental processes operate alike throughout the whole 
range of our mental life. 
Because of their wide range, practical utility and thoroughness 
Dr. Stekel's studies stand out as the most important interpretation 
of the mind and its manifestations which we owe to the latest 
phase of psychologic research. 
Dr. Wilhelm Stekel was born March 18, 1868 (in Bukowina, 
an Austrian province annexed to Roumania since the war) and 
has studied at the University of Vienna. During the last 
few years he has gradually withdrawn his interest from pop- 
ular writings, devoting himself exclusively to the pursuit of his 
clinical researches. For a number of years he was engaged in 
general practice. He was one of the first practitioners to become 
interested in Freud; at a time when Freud worked under almost 
complete isolation and neglect Stekel proposed that the few men 
interested in psychoanalysis meet weekly. That was the nucleus 
of the first psychoanalytic society. Stekel was also the editor of 
the first psychoanalytic periodical, the Zentralblatt, which he 
conducted with Freud and Adler. In later years he and Freud 
disagreed on matters of psychoanalytic theory and they separated, 
just as Adler and Jung separated from Freud. 
Among Dr. Stekel's larger scientific studies (in addition to his 
monumental Disorders of the Instincts and Emotions Se- 
ries) are Poetry and Neurosis, The Dreams of Artists, and 
The Language of Dreams-the latter a massive documenta- 
tion of the symbolism and meaning of dreams. 
Brookline, Mass,, 
March 25, 1924. 
James S. Van Teslaar. CONTENTS OF VOLUME ONE 
Chapter I 
INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
PAGE 
Instinct Drive-Freud's Definition-Nutritional Instinct- 
Hunger-Instinct is Life: An Organic Function Representing 
Individual's Latent Life Energy-Characteristics of Instinct- 
Relation of Affects to Instincts-Internal Conflict-Affect is In- 
tellectual Elaboration of Instinct-No Affect Without Instinct- 
Feelings are the Intellectual Perception of Instinct Drive-Affect 
Preparedness-The Life Urge-Craving for Well-Being-Bi- 
polarity of Affects: the Most Important Law of Psychology- 
Anxiety the Manometer of the Life Urge-Will to Live vs. the 
Will to Die-Sexual Instinct serves the Life Energy-Hunger 
and Love the most important Expressions of the Life Urge- 
Will to Power is derived from the Life Urge-I Act, therefore 
I Am-Persistent Craving for Well-Being-The Dictates of the 
Social Group is called Morality-Immoral Acts often Impulsive 
-Immorality a Relative Concept Depending on Time, Custom, 
Locality, Circumstance-Impulsive Acts arise through annul- 
ment of Conscious Inhibitions-Dreamy States-Loss of Dif- 
ferentiation between Reality and Dream in Parapathy-Repeti- 
tive Urge Characteristic of all Parapathiac Impulsive Acts- 
Past Infantile Pleasure the Driving Force-Conflict Between 
Primordial cravings and Dictates of Group Welfare-Will to 
Power the most important Primordial Reaction: It is the Will 
to Appropriate or have Dominion over what is Foreign-Man's 
Primordial Reaction always Egoistic-The Egoistic Reflex-The 
Sexual Primordial Reaction-The Instinct of Imitation-The In- 
stinct of Self-Reliance-All Primordial Reactions are Bipolar- 
Conflict between Social Urge and Individual Cravings-Impulse 
represents Supremacy of Egoistic Reflex-Normal and Morbid 
Impulse-Nietzsche's "Eternal Recurrence"-The Attack-All 
Attacks are Inhibited Impulsive Acts-Anxiety a Protective 
Cloak against Asocial Tendencies-Character of Exhibitionism . 
I 
IX CONTENTS OF VOLUME ONE 
X 
Chapter II 
THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
PAGE 
Neophilia and Neophobia-Unrest-Compulsive Talking and 
Swearing-Case i: A woman who talks incessantly for one or 
two hours every morning-Impulse to touch every male on the 
genitalia-Affect transposition-Case 2: Bulimia and Dipso- 
mania-Case 3: Compulsive wandering-Oniomania-Folie de 
Toucher-The attempt to flee from self-Morbid travel mania- 
Tramping-Case 4: A psychotic tramp-Dromomania, Porio- 
mania and Fugues-Janet's classification-Epileptic wanderers 
-Author's classification: centrifugal wandering (Fugue) - 
Centripetal wandering (Dromomania proper)-Circular wan- 
dering (Poriomania)-Persistent (wander) impulse-Case 5 
(Morel) : An American wandering towards the east in search 
of a permanent abode (Paradise)-Meaning of the symbolism- 
Case 7: Paralogiac flight with centrifugal tendency (Meader)- 
Interpretation of the symbolism-Role of the father complex- 
The Electra complex-All centrifugal wanderings represent 
flight from self-Impulsive acts during Sleep-Dreams-Crim- 
inal tendencies-Case 8: A mother throws her child out of the 
window during stuporous sleep in a dream-Case 9: Patricide 
during sleep-Case 10: Uxoricide during sleep-Incestuous acts 
during somnambulism-"Moonstruck" Wanderers-Relationship 
between Criminality and sleep walking-Symbolic acts during 
Somnambulism-Case 11 (Krafft-Ebing) : A Monk who during 
sleep walking goes through the motion of stabbing the prior- 
The Sleep walking scene in Macbeth-The Repetitive urge- 
Sadger's conclusions regarding Sleep walking-The Incest wish 
hypothesis one-sided-Case 12: A Sleep wanderer who reverses 
his Conscious attitude towards his Love objective-Sleep walk- 
ing, a form of symbolic wandering-Alleged influence of the 
Moon-Psychology of Noctambulism-Psychic Traumata dur- 
ing Sleep-Nocturnal "relations"-Case 13: Sexual impotence 
relieved after disclosure of a nocturnal incestuous relationship- 
Case 14: Sleep walking fantasy of a woman-Depression; Sui- 
cidal thought; the patient's account of her Experience and Men- 
tal state-Wandering mania, noctabulism, restlessness-Onio- 
mania, Bulimia, uncontrollable Daytime pollutions-Fixation 
on the Younger brother-Disclosures of Incestuous relationship 
during hypnoidal state-Repetitive urge of the traumatic scene 
-The mother complex-Case 15: Repetitive tendency during 
Sleep walking (Janet)-Transvaluation of impulses-Case 16: 
An impotent Paedophiliac who protects himself against crime by 
running away from home-Case 17: Physician, Catholic, emo- 
tionally fixated on his sister-in-law, saves his moral self by run- CONTENTS OF VOLUME ONE 
PAGE 
XI 
ing away-Hatred as a cover for the incest wish-Janet's ex- 
planation of fugues-Transposition of love into Hatred-Atti- 
tude of parents towards children-Jealousy-Case 18: A Young 
Man's flight from home to avoid Shooting his future Brother-in- 
law-Rationalization of the Flight impulse-Case 19: A Father, 
through unconscious Jealousy, absents himself from his Daugh- 
ter's wedding-Case 20 (Hilda Milko) : A girl runs away to 
escape incestuous fixation on the father-Dromomania and Nos- 
talgia-Jaspers' emphasis of Morbid longing for home and its 
Relation to Arson-Fixation on the family and on infantile im- 
pressions-Embryonal impulses-Belated reaction-Leonhard 
Frank's illustrative novel-Cancelling humiliations of childhood 
-Vengeance of Sons against Fathers-Patricide, the most com- 
mon crime in fantasy; Freud's CEdipus Complex-Mania for 
mountain climbing-Case 21 (Emil Gutheil) : Symbolic signifi- 
cance of sport-Its oracular value-Transposition of Hatred into 
Regret after Death of the Father-Case 22: Substitutive Impulse 
after death in the family-Case 23 (Janet) : Nostalgia-Psy- 
chology of the Deserter-Viktor Tausk's classification of army 
Deserters-Conclusions 
i8 
Chapter III 
FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
Autobiography of Dora: a woman who fled "home" during a 
"brain storm," to escape the evil influence of a lover-Her first 
love disappointment-"Spite" marriage-Impotent, hypochon- 
driac husband-Three lovers; illicit relations with first sweetheart 
-The "monster"-The army officer, "Melanie"-Extra-Uterine 
Pregnancy-Laparatomy-Disappointment-Fourth lover, hus- 
band's orthopedist-The Love Alphabet-The artist at the cure 
resort-Telepathy and hypnotism-Voyeurism-First excursion 
-Laughter on being kissed-The promise-Discussion of per- 
versions-"Awakening the senses"-Attempt at control through 
suggestion-Confessions-Awakening her conscience-Pleasure 
without guilt-Artist's sadistic attitude-Dora's jealousy-The 
"Hero's" cowardice-First news from ailing mother and brother 
-The "Nora" suggestion-The hero's fear of the little dog- 
Awakening of remorse-The hand kiss-The husband's helpless 
jealousy-The artist adroitly sharpens Dora's inner conflict- 
Unconscious irony-Her recognition of the artist's abnormality 
-Conversion of her troubled conscience into gastric pains-Sex- 
ual anaesthesia-Regret over the occurrence-Artist's narcissism 
•-Ibsen's Nora-Artist's fear of women-He protects himself XII 
CONTENTS OF VOLUME ONE 
PAGE 
against reproaches-The symbolism of crossing the border- 
Death wishes-Nora Identification-Symbolic loss of the dog 
chain-Growing resistance-Dora's interest in prostitution-Ar- 
tist vs. mother-Bladder sexuality-Symbolic protest against 
sexual humiliation-Self-deception-Symbolic cleansing on re- 
turning to the hotel-Jealousy-Bath-First hallucination-On- 
set of the "Brain Storm"-Symbolic scalding of the ring finger 
-Rationalization in delirium-Artist's attempt to increase 
Dora's jealousy-Her resistance grows-Loss of appetite as ex- 
pression of moral nausea-Conversion symptom-Onset of Men- 
struation-Self-reproaches on account of neglect of her mother 
-Voice of conscience grows louder-Jealousy-Artist's pose as 
cynic-Dora begins to find her own will-Dawn of moral reac- 
tion-Forgetting the door key-Self-depreciation-Searching for 
mother-Somatization-Expatiation acts-Money as symbol of 
love-Alleged request to tell the husband everything-Confes- 
sion-Symbolic representation of the adventure-The Nora role 
-Hallucinations on the street-The blue ribbon-Husband's pa- 
thetic helplessness-Self-accusations-Sudden resolution to go 
to the mother-Longing for a strong leader-White and black 
don't mix !-Parting from lover and from husband-On train- 
Attitude of self-depreciation-Inner unrest-Exteriorization of 
mental contents-Hallucinatory vision-Symbolism of orderly 
-Hesitation to go to Vienna-Visualization of inner conflict- 
Hesitation to ask questions-Hallucinatory vision of the artist- 
Complete loss of awareness-Resistance to suggestion-The trip 
to the hospital-Symbolic annulment of excursion-Purification 
symbolism-Eye, symbol of female genital-Fear of Insanity- 
Anesthesia of finger tips-The physician's visits-End of con- 
stipation, symbolic solution of the conflict-Interest in the new 
environment-"Penitent" in a combination of Nunnery, Insane 
hospital and Jail-Husband's promise to call for her-Gradual 
recovery of sense of orientation-Paramnesia-Arrival of the 
husband-The conflict-Gradual resolution-Dream disclosing 
fixation on the brother-The real objective and motive of her 
flight-Concluding remarks 
92 
Chapter IV 
NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
All narcotic drug addicts victims of asocial impulses which 
they try to repress-Morbid dread-Types of drinkers: habitual 
and periodic-Habitual Drinker usually a Parapathiac-Feeling 
of loneliness-Bleuler's description of Chronic Alcoholism-The CONTENTS OF VOLUME ONE 
XIII 
PAGE 
conclusions of Preisig and Amadau-Injured pride-Criminal 
impulses-Double thinking-Drink impulse and depression-Poe, 
Fritz Reuter-Psychogenic determinants of delirium tremens- 
Epileptoid attacks and delirium-Kraepelin's observations- 
Polar tension between primordial cravings and social desires- 
Vengeance-Master Leukhardt's testimony-Combination of Im- 
pulses-The Spendthrift-Sexuality and alcoholism-Ferenczi's 
views-Case 26 (Strasser)-Case 27 (Stekel): The will to be 
well-Masturbation and alcoholism-Case 28: Patient's secret 
calendar-Case 29: Morphine addicts are parapathiacs-Perio- 
dicity-Case 30 (Kirschbaum) : Morphine addiction serving an 
antisexual tendency-Strength of first impressions-Psycho- 
analysis, the only rational therapy for drink and drug addictions 
-All narcotomaniacs flee from some truth 
200 
Chapter V 
STEALING (THEFT) 
Fluctuation of Sense of property-Cheating at games-Petty 
stealing-Theft and Superstition-Folklore-Literary and ar- 
tistic plagiarism-Illustrations-Unconscious Imitation-Cryp- 
tomnesia-Jung's observations-Sense of Ownership-Theft, a 
Psycho-sexual infantilism-Wagner-Jauregg's description of 
infantile root of the tendency to steal-Gottfried Keller's de- 
scription of the act-Hermann Hesse's account-Wrestling as a 
form of Erotic pleasure-Conclusions 
231 
Chapter VI 
THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
Cleptomaniac steals for the sake of stealing-The forbidden 
act, not the stolen article, furnishes the lure-Emotional intoxi- 
cation-Cleptomaniac is infantile-Laqueur's conclusions regard- 
ing store thiefs-Case 32 (Duboisson) : Transposition of Im- 
pulses and Symbolization of real life in dreamy states-Lepp- 
mann's observations-Author's first contribution revealing sex- 
ual roots of Cleptomania-Case 33: Cleptomania in manic-de- 
pressive insanity-The gist of Cleptomania: taking hold of some- 
thing forbidden-Symbolism of the act of Stealing-The Con- 
clusions of Gross-Krafft-Ebing's observations-Case 34: De- 
pression, menstruation and Cleptomania-Depression, the re- 
action of unfulfillable Sexual desire-Knowledge of Sexual sym- XIV 
CONTENTS OF VOLUME ONE 
PAGE 
holism the key to Cleptomania and to all Monomanias-Case 
35 (Didier)-Case 36 (Lasegue)-Case 39 (Placzek)-Case 
40 (Chlumsky)-Cases 42 and 43 (Pfister)-Case 44 (Forster- 
ling): Role of Masochism-Case 45 (Zingerle) : Sadism-Clep- 
tomaniac types in Marquis de Sade-Case 46 (Juliusburger) : 
Childhood and theft-Adolescence-Case 47-Case 48: Hand, 
the organ of seizing-Buying mania (Oniomania)-Case 49 
(Hilda Milko) : Vicarious form of Cleptomania-Patient's char- 
acteristic Dreams-Desire to repeat Past experience-Clepto- 
maniac act represents a Repetitive compulsion-Oniomania vs. 
Cleptomania-Reaching out for the Unattainable to make it 
real-Strictly speaking, there are no Monomanias-Case 50: 
Sleep walking and Cleptomania-Patient's dreams-Desire to 
repeat an infantile episode-Patients who rob themselves . 
257 PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
VOLUME ONE 
I 
INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
The unfree denizen of the wilderness does not feel the 
fetters which bind the man of culture: he thinks the latter 
enjoys greater freedom. In the measure that I acquire greater 
freedom I create new limits and new problems for myself. 
Max Stirner. 
This work, like all the other volumes in my series, is con- 
cerned with Disorders of the Instincts and Emotions. Thus 
far I have never discussed the nature of instinct and affect. 
I dislike definitions. Everybody knows what instinct means 
even though no one has yet satisfactorily defined the term. 
The definition of affect also presents unsuspected difficulties. 
For that reason the use of these terms, instinct and affect, has 
led to serious confusion. Mobius defines an instinct as the 
power which drives. Freud,1 too, emphasizes the functional 
aspect of instinct: 
"Under the drive of an instinct we understand its motor 
momentum, the sum of energy, or the volume of the working 
capacity which it represents. The character of a 'driving' 
energy, is a common characteristic of all instincts, indeed their 
essence. Every instinct is a quantum of activity; when we 
speak loosely of passive instincts we can only mean instincts 
with passive aim." 
Thus, Freud also lays stress on the driving force as the char- 
acteristic feature of the instinct. Nevertheless we know that 
the instinct does not always drive. Let us take an illustration: 
the nutritional instinct. Hunger compels us to take food; 
occasionally it impels to crime. But as soon as the hunger 
sensation is satisfied, the driving ceases. More than that! An PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
2 
activity of a negative character sets in: there arises a distinct 
aversion against additional food consumption. The instinct 
itself is still present; but it manifests itself in another form. 
Hunger, however, is not an instinct, just as love is not an in- 
stinct. Freud, for instance, refers to sadism ar.d masochism, 
to hunger and love, as instincts. Schiller's famous verses 
wherein he depicts hunger and love as the mainsprings of all 
striving are frequently quoted. But that which may be per- 
mitted to a poet, who must have recourse to metaphors and 
symbolism, has no place in the rarified atmosphere of science. 
Hunger is merely the expression of a need, an instinctive drive, 
as Freud maintains. The insltinct, according to Freud, never 
operates like a momentary impact force, it is always a constant 
energy. The instinctive drive, necessity, impels us to seek 
gratification upon the path determined by the instinct. 
But what is hunger if not an instinct? It is the expression 
of a need. The feeling of hunger is generated by the gastric 
chemism in a biologic-physical manner. The chemism acts as 
a light inciter (appetite) ; it swells into hunger and may induce 
strong unpleasant sensations. We know that there are persons 
without appetite who take their meals at regular hours, merely 
to avoid the unpleasant sensations produced by keen hunger. 
Others wait for these unpleasant sensations to set in before 
eating because stilling them by the taking of food, they find, 
increases their pleasures of the table. But these processes are 
no longer purely instinctive, they are complicated by a psychic 
elaboration. 
There lies the crux of the whole matter. In order to under- 
stand instinct we must turn to the lowest forms of life, to the 
protozoa. The smallest speck of a "living creature" differs 
from inorganic matter by the fact that it responds to external 
stimuli. Every cell reacts to external excitation with an ap- 
propriate response. If the stimulus is increased it leads to 
paralysis {Max Verworn). Excitation and paralysis are the 
most archaic expressions of life. May we ascribe instinct to 
the infusoria? Certainly! The power which impels these 
animalcules to throw out and draw in pseudopodia, or feelers, 
for the purpose of securing a speck of food, is an instir ° INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
3 
But the instinct is bound up with the speck of living proto- 
plasm; it is immanent in its physical structure. 
Instinct is the sign of life; indeed, it is life. 
Instinct is that life energy, latent and constant, of whose 
ultimate nature we are ignorant, and which asserts itself when- 
ever life is endangered. The greatest danger is hunger,- 
perishing from lack of nourishment; for life is a continual 
cycle of building up and tearing down protoplasmic material. 
Instinct is a property of protoplasm; it is an integral char- 
acteristic of living matter. The protozoon does not feel 
hunger. The living protoplasm builds up and tears down 
in the interest of life without the intervention of a directing 
factor. With the appearance of tracts (nerves) for the trans- 
mission of sensations and of a central apparatus for the re- 
ception and elaboration of stimuli from the external world 
(spinal cord and brain), the problem of action, which there- 
tofore was a matter of direct instinct-response, becomes in- 
finitely more complicated. Response grows more elaborate, 
being gradually modified under the influence of experience 
and reflection; lastly, the hereditary transmission of experi- 
ence (instinct) also becomes a factor, etc. I must not lose 
myself in biologic problems.. Let me turn directly to the im- 
portant conclusion: 
Instinct is a purely organic function. It is the biologic 
guardian of the physical life. 
Hunger therefore is not an instinct. Hunger is but the 
expression of an instinctive urge. There may be a nutritional 
instinct which manifests itself as hunger, precisely as love 
is the expression of a sexual instinct; but love is not the 
sexual instinct itself, although Freud always calls it the libido, 
the sexual instinct-it is the longing which arises when the 
sexual instinct remains ungratified. 
This is the reason why psychology can never penetrate into 
the nature of instinct. Instinct is psychologically beyond 
grasp: being organically bound up with the physical structure, 
it is an expression of the physical body. Instinct is the latent 
life energy of the individual. 
the instinct, therefore, cannot change; it cannot alter its PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
4 
nature. Freud speaks of the transformations of the instincts 
(Triebschicksale). The instinct may become transformed into 
an opposite trend, it may assume a direction opposed to the 
subject's own interests, it may be repressed or, lastly, it may 
be sublimated. In a certain sense all that is true, if we take 
into account the intellectual elaboration of the instinct. But 
in reality the instinct proper changes in no essential partic- 
ular. Whether I transform my sexual urge into disgust (a 
negative feeling-attitude towards sex), or repress it so as to 
indulge in the illusion of being asexual, or perhaps sublimate 
it into a desire for scientific knowledge, one thing is obvious: 
the instinct itself has not changed. The instinct proper re- 
mains the same as ever. I have changed merely the relation 
of the individual to his instinct. Therefore, in a strict sense, 
we cannot speak of transformations of instincts, but only 
of reactions roused within the organism by the instinct, and 
of feeling-attitudes towards the environment assumed by the 
individual with regard to his cravings (and those of others). 
Instinct therefore is an invariable quantum, which liberates 
or supplies continuously a varying amount of energy so that 
the instinct seems alternately weaker and again stronger. We 
speak of the sexual instinct as stronger or weaker; this is 
incorrect; but it has become a part of current terminology. 
Unfortunately we possess no better term by which to make 
ourselves clear when we mean to state that the instinct mani- 
festations are sometimes stronger and sometimes weaker. Of 
course, the instinct itself may vary in different individuals. 
What relationship do the affects bear to the instincts? We 
have seen that the more highly organized living creatures 
develop an intermediary stage between instinct and activity. 
Among the simpler forms this intermediary function is taken 
up by the spinal cord and stands entirely in the service of 
the instinct. The more complexly the living creature is or- 
ganized, the better developed also is its brain as a center 
for regulating the responses to the environment and the ex- 
pressions of instinct. I have once called the parapathias a 
struggle between brain and spinal cord. By this I mean 
that what we call nervousness expresses an inner conflict in- 
augurated, however, by external influences. The brain is not INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
only the guardian of the instinct with its ramifications (hence 
we speak of "instincts")-it is also the center for the intel- 
lectual elaboration of instinct. The brain either serves the 
instinct or sets itself up against it. This gives rise to various 
internal excitations we call affects. 
The affect represents, so to speak, the intellectual elabora- 
tion of the instinct. We may picture the process to ourselves 
as follows: A certain excitation, which is part of the instinct, 
is transmitted to the brain. The reaction of the brain to that 
instinct-excitation, its intellectual transformation into a wish, 
longing, or dislike, we call an affect. Therefore, there is no 
affect which does not feed upon instinct. Affects, then, like 
the instincts, are an expression of life. Without affects ex- 
istence would be flat, the sense of living would be lacking. 
The instinct must express itself; the interplay of craving and 
gratification, the damming up and release of energies make 
life worth while-they are life. The absence of natural 
affects, i.e., affects emanating from instinct, leads to a hunger 
for affect, a forced release of energy, lacking, however, the sat- 
isfying character of normal affect release. Just as the uni- 
cellular organism goes through all the stages of heightened 
vitality between excitation and paralysis down to apparent 
death, so the more highly complex organisms also require 
stimuli and a cumulation of stimuli until excess leads them 
into a state of paralysis. 
The intellectual (cerebral) elaboration of the instinct ex- 
citations generates our emotions. Thus we may conceive 
love as the intellectual superstructure of the sexual instinct, 
i.e., an affect distinguishable from the state of being in love, 
which may be called an emotional intoxication. A loving per- 
son is conscious of his love only at certain times. He may 
have an interest, i.e., bear an increased affectivity (Bleuler) 
for other matters as well. The person in love is entirely 
dominated by his longing, all his affects are engaged in the 
service of his sexual instinct. If he is of a distrustful char- 
acter he is inclined to jealousy. He then suffers from the 
fear of losing his sexual objective. But jealousy in itself 
is not an affect; it is a peculiarity which expresses an Affekt- 
bereitschaft, an emotional readiness. 
5 6 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
It is a common error to confuse emotional qualities, i.e., 
emotional states of readiness, with the affect proper. Greed, 
for instance, is not an affect, it is a quality which expresses 
an emotional readiness. The greedy person confronted with 
the necessity of spending money experiences a more or less 
pronounced feeling of unpleasantness. The reason may vary. 
At the moment of either spending or receiving money he is 
under an affect. He feels displeasure in spending money, 
pleasure on receiving money, at the same time he may ex- 
perience envy, anger, doubt. Therefore we must always dis- 
tinguish between affect preparedness and affect proper. Anxi- 
ety is an affect, fear an emotion. Sadism and masochism are 
neither instincts nor affects, they are emotions, i.e., emotional 
states of readiness. The sadist experiences pleasure in the 
carrying out of his cruelties; he is, therefore, always inclined 
to cruelty as a preparedness for indulging in his pleasurable 
feelings. 
What I have given thus far is not much but may serve 
as a beginning. We see that Mobius2 has rightly called the 
study of instincts the darkest chapter in modern psychology. 
The notion that the instincts prompt from within like diminu- 
tive creatures is ridiculous. 
How many instincts are there? What is their reciprocal 
relationship ? 
In order to achieve clarity we must begin from a fixed 
point, with a single fundamental instinct, from which all other 
instincts germinate. That fundamental instinct is the life 
instinct, also called by many investigators the instinct of self- 
preservation. But the instinct of self-preservation is only a 
component part of the life instinct. It insures the individual's 
life, it makes for the avoidance of life perils, it protects life, 
whereas the life instinct primordially is a pleasure-instinct. 
Even in common speech to live means to enjoy. A Lebemann, 
man of the world, is a man who knows how to enjoy life, 
and when one says of himself that he has not lived, though 
his instinct of self-preservation may have enabled him to 
reach a hundred years of age, he may not have felt his life 
as real living. 
The life instinct is the instinct for gratification, expressing INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
itself in every human being as an innate craving for happiness. 
Happiness is an enhanced sense of living generated by pleas- 
urable feelings (or following release from unpleasurdble feel- 
ings). 
The law of bipolarity, perhaps the most important law of 
mental life, requires that a negative instinct correspond to the 
positive, the two combining in an indissoluble unity (Adler's 
instinct fusion, Triebverschrdnkung). The life instinct is 
paired off by the death instinct. The life and death instincts 
together make up the psychic unity of life. At first glance 
this assumption seems contradictory. But it meets the test 
of facts. Anxiety, or fear, is life's manometer (the sounder 
of the life instinct). But all fear is also the fear of death; 
it represents our aversion to death. Freud, too, in one of his 
latter contributions, Beyond the Pleasure Principle, adopts the 
concept of a death instinct. The goal of life, he points out, is 
death. He has thus arrived at the point of view which I had 
expressed already in 1908, in the first edition of my Anxiety 
States. There I stated: ''The stronger the life instinct, the 
more is the individual in question subject to the emotions of 
fear. Its repression along with repression of the life instinct 
as expressed in sex leads to anxiety. Morbid dread, therefore, 
is the reaction against the outbreak of the death instinct, 
fostered by the repression of the sexual instinct." 
In this generalization the sex instinct practically stands for 
the life instinct. It is the expression of the will to live, the 
will to enjoy, and serves the eternal struggle for survival. 
The two most important manifestations of the life instinct 
are: Hunger and Love. Hunger serves current life, love takes 
care of future life. Sexual instinct and nutritional instinct 
are the two basic components of the life urge. 
The nutritional instinct cares for the individual, the sexual 
instinct serves the interests of the race by fostering repro- 
duction.3 
All other instincts are reducible to these two fundamental 
instincts.4 Let us take that very vital instinct, the instinct 
of self-assertion (Beherrschungstrieb) which Nietzsche has 
called the Will to Power. It appears often isolated and apart 
from the sexual instinct so that we are almost ready to con- 
7 8 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
sider it a separate instinct. And yet, if we investigate further, 
we find that it is subject to the craving for euphoria, a craving 
which we have already identified as the life instinct. He who 
has power can secure for himself any gratification (and that 
makes for happiness). He has the best food, the prettiest 
woman. 
Perhaps we could establish also the existence of an instinct 
for activity. To the primitive man every manifestation of 
life was a source of pleasure, and this is still so to the child. 
Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. I act, therefore 
I live. The instinct for activity becomes burdensome only 
when it means work which must be carried out for the grati- 
fication of others. The will to power means driving others 
to do one's mental and physical work. It makes for pleasure 
through the avoidance of the unpleasure linked with every 
effort which does not serve the pleasure principle directly. 
Thus life must be perceived as a continual craving for 
euphoria. This craving conflicts with reality. (Freud's most 
important discovery: the pleasure principle and the reality 
principle.) 
Every instinct is primordially a pleasure urge; we adopt 
the hypothesis of a period when life was a continual pleas- 
ure stream. The notion of such a state is preserved in the 
myth about paradise; it is also used as a future promise 
and is thus made to serve important cultural ends. Eternal 
euphoria is shifted to the other world, to be attained only 
by adjusting one's self to the most severe requirements of 
society at the cost of innumerable unpleasurable feelings, for 
which, as over-compensation, this promise is held out of 
eternal bliss in heaven. The rich are said not to enter within 
the kingdom of heaven. They have enjoyed this life too 
much. Only the disinherited shall be compensated adequately 
for the loss of euphoria in this life. 
The primordial man's consciousness was directed solely to- 
wards securing his individual share of life's bounty. Through 
the advancement of culture the life instinct becomes socialized, 
i.e., it stands, at least in part if not wholly, in the service 
of the social group. The imperative of the social group is 
called morality, ethics, or law. Thus we have come to dis- INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
9 
tinguish between moral and immoral conduct, which might 
be called as well social and unsocial conduct, respectively. 
For no action is in itself immoral. It becomes so only in 
relation to time, custom, country and environment. 
The so-called immoral deeds are very frequently impulsive. 
The criminal acts with foresight; he puts himself beyond cur- 
rent morality. The parapathiac pleads his impulse. "It" 
has overwhelmed him. "It" was stronger than his will power. 
What is really an impulsive act? What is that mysterious 
"it" which is thus capable of turning the modern man of 
culture into a beast in a few seconds? 
In order to make this matter plain I must bring out another 
point. Our acts are usually carried out under the control 
of our consciousness. I feel the need of going out for ex- 
ercise. Consciousness may repress this desire. Reason de- 
crees: "You must stay at home and finish your work!" We 
give in to the voice of reason. Another time intellect loses. 
We expect a patient. We have an important letter to 
write. But an inexplicable urge drives us, impelling us to 
wander. 
An act committed while our reason is overwhelmed by an 
affect we call impulsive. Back of every affect there stands 
the instinct. Impulses are acts which follow the sudden 
eclipsing of consciousness (reason). But this definition does 
not exhaust the meaning of impulse. A drunkard beats his 
wife, a deed of which he is never guilty when sober. He 
yields to his impulse, because the alcoholic intoxication has 
abolished his inhibitions. A sleeping man gets up at night and 
kills his wife and four children with an ax. On awakening 
he gives himself up to the authorities, remorsefully declaring 
that he did not know when or why he committed the deeds. 
In both cases the affect of hatred is what generated the deed. 
In both cases the inhibitions of consciousness were suspended 
at the time. 
We are now in a position to complete our definition: Im- 
pulsive acts are carried out while the inhibitions of ordinary 
consciousness are suspended. 
It is very interesting that many impulsive acts are carried 
out in a half-dreamy, or so-called hypnoidal,5 state of con- 10 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
sciousness. This will be shown in our discussion of clep- 
tomania. 
Parapathy (neurosis) is a mental state during which the 
distinction between reality and fantasy is temporarily lost. 
The patient hovers between reality and dream. Many neu- 
rotic manifestations take place in a sort of trance, i.e., a dream 
state. The most common hypnotic impulse is sleep walking, 
a theme to which we shall pay proper attention later. These 
impulsive acts carried out in trance states are characteristic of 
the parapathiac who has not the courage to know himself. 
The man aware of his affect acts differently. He permits 
himself to be overwhelmed by the affects. He gives in to 
them gladly, in fact he often deliberately rouses them to a 
high pitch. 
The simpler impulsive deeds committed through anger, jeal- 
ousy, greed, revenge, sentiment, etc., are conceivable without 
any special explanation. Psychologically their motives, as 
a rule, are superficial. 
More difficult to understand are the permanent impulses. 
These are impulses which act like a motor, ceaselessly impelling 
the subject to commit some deed. 
The impulsive acts are among the most interesting mani- 
festations within the whole realm of clinical psychopathology. 
For a long time most of the impulsive acts proved baffling. 
We saw them without being able to trace their psychological 
roots. Human beings are suddenly seized by a desire to 
wander, to steal some particular article, to set fire to a place, 
to wander at night, to run after some fetich, to expose them- 
selves naked, to impersonate another, etc. Now our under- 
standing of the unconscious processes, as revealed by Freud 
and Janet, has thrown a flood of light on the nature of these 
impulsive acts. The subjects are victims of a split person- 
ality. All these subjects have in common the desire to change 
their situation and to get away. The simplest form of im- 
pulsive behaviour is seen in the conduct of those parapathiacs 
who are driven by a sense of inner restlessness merely to 
change places. Movement is the symbolic expression of inner 
unrest. 
Psychopathic inferiority displays this insatiable craving for INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
11 
change. Among individuals of this type we find the most 
typical illustrations of fugues (temporary mental "blanks"), 
tramping, and morbid wandering. But the restless craving 
to do something may dominate the clinical picture in the 
more serious psychoses, becoming the chief symptom. It 
is a characteristic common to all parapathic impulses that 
they represent a "craving for repetition." The subjects run 
after an infantile impression, an infantile pleasure. Appar- 
ently going ahead, in reality they are going back. Their driv- 
ing motive belongs to the past,-it is the infantile euphoria, 
or state of well-being. 
Human beings cling to their first euphoria. Euphoria means 
gratification. Everybody seeks everlasting gratification. The 
suckling perceives his state as one uninterrupted stream of 
gratification until hunger or some other unpleasant stimulus 
impells him to cry out. Sucking, sleeping, moving his limbs, 
urinating, passing the faeces-everything is for him a source 
of gratification. 
Primordial man must have found himself in a similar state. 
To him reality meant striving for gratification. There was 
but one law for him: the attainment of gratification. There 
were as yet no social inhibitions against any form of gratifica- 
tion, no right inherent in the community, i.e., no limitation 
to individual pleasure seeking was imposed by the community 
in the interests of all. 
Being social means giving up gratification which may cause 
unpleasure, or dysphoria, to the other members of the social 
group. 
But the primitive man was wholly indifferent to his neigh- 
bor's unpleasure. There was but one right, the right of the 
individual. The pleasure principle was coextensive with the 
reality principle. Reality meant gratification, or else had to 
be made to yield that. The primitive man was egoistic. All 
education consists of accepting something from without as 
against our own inclination (Otto Gross). The man of civ- 
ilized society adopts himself to that which extends outside 
himself by learning the laws and accepting them as his own. 
Aboriginally, social sanction is something foreign. It be- 
comes our own when we accept it not merely in appearance, 12 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
with gnashing teeth, resistingly, under compulsion, but joy- 
fully and with conviction. The law outside ourselves then 
becomes the law of our heart. 
But we can understand the man of civilized society only 
if we try to trace his conduct back to the primal reactions 
of primitive man. These primal reactions require a little 
closer attention. 
The most important primal reaction is the instinct of self- 
assertion {Bemdchtigungstrieb, the Will to Power). The 
whole world belongs to man. The child shows very plainly 
this instinct of self-assertion. He does not yet recognize the 
distinction between mine and thine. Everything is his. The 
primordial man was also a child. The world belonged ex- 
clusively to him; his disposition was to claim everything for 
his own. We find very often the same attitude in para- 
pathiacs. Many parapathiacs contemplate a world catastrophe 
which should leave them the lone survivors. Everything be- 
longs to them. They want to possess all the women, own 
all the treasures, etc. The ecstasy of love often embodies 
a similar feeling-attitude. ("Kiss me and the world is mine!" 
-is the refrain of a popular song.) The lover feels he could 
embrace the world; the whole world is his. Many paralogiacs, 
too, conceive themselves the world's masters. 
We understand, therefore, that the primordial man could 
have no conception of property rights. Another's property 
was his, if he was the stronger. He could reach out and 
take anything he wanted, whatever appealed to his fancy. 
The Will to Power is the will to make another's possessions 
one's own: To be the only one, or, what meant more, master 
over the lives and property of others. 
This craving for mastery expresses itself through the in- 
stinct of self-assertion: to take what one wants. The thief 
acts like a primordial being. He takes what, in a certain 
archaic sense, is his. His will and his pleasure are for him 
the supreme law. 
Man's primordial reaction is always egoistic. In all situ- 
ations he asks himself: "What is there in it for me?" This 
primordial reaction is the one most hidden, but also the easiest 
to prove in any man of culture when we learn to interpret INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
the forms under which the unconscious stimuli express them- 
selves. The first reaction to the misfortune of others is one 
of hidden joy, Schadenfreude. (Dostoievsky has described 
this in a masterly manner.) A milder form of the same re- 
action is expressed, approximately, as follows: "Thank God 
that this misfortune has not struck me." This primordial 
reaction I call the "egoistic reflex." It is a spontaneous re- 
action to one's environment. 
The primordial nature of the most primitive human beings 
manifested itself first in their relations to one another. When 
one crossed another's path in any obstructing way he was 
struck down promptly, if he was the weaker. (The destruc- 
tive trend due to inhibition of interference with euphoria.) 
It is interesting that, at the first glance, these primordial 
reactions appear in the man belonging to civilized society 
only in a rudimentary form, specifically as a sort of instinct. 
When we are introduced to a person or meet a stranger, in- 
voluntarily we appraise him, asking ourselves: "Who is the 
stronger one? Who would win in a contest?" 
The sexual primordial reaction is even more important. 
The primitive man appraised any creature he encountered 
with reference to the latter's sexual worth: What sexual 
pleasure can you yield me? Approximately like the dogs 
that sniff at one another when they meet for the first time. 
A certain Greek author records a Greek peasant's statement, 
which represents, however, an ancient "master's right": "If 
a strange woman crosses my land I must impregnate her, a 
strange boy must offer me his anus, a strange man must yield 
me some other form of pleasure." I quote from memory. 
The primordial man watched and appraised any stranger 
he met, particularly if the stranger was a woman, taking 
her by force if she appealed to him. He probably first tore 
the victim's clothes to investigate the beauty of the genitalia 
and their odour. 
Even the first glance of the man of culture shows this 
primitive reaction. Consciously or unconsciously we disrobe 
every stranger with whom we become acquainted and form 
an image of the stranger's genitalia. In most cases we ap- 
praise the degree of pleasure which a possible sexual inter- 
13 PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
14 
course would eventually yield. Women often betray this 
primal reaction in a negative form with the expression: "I 
could never kiss this man." Seldom does a woman-no 
matter how frank she may be-acknowledge: "This man I 
should gladly kiss!" But she betrays herself unconsciously 
and shows that she thinks of it by passing the tip of the 
tongue over her lips, to moisten the organ of kissing.6 The 
glance at the genitalia and at the secondary sexual charac- 
teristic is a look intended to appraise the qualities of the 
possible partner. Men are much more candid in this respect 
and think of it without any particular inhibitions. Many a 
girl is thus appraised as lovely enough to bite or chew up. 
Among the common people the primordial reactions crop out 
more boldly because they are not covered up so much. Breasts 
and nates are looked at approvingly and frankly appraised 
as to their pleasure yielding possibilities. 
This primitive sexual reaction is sometimes fused with 
the instinct of aggression or with the contact craving, the 
latter being but a milder form of aggression. 
The instinct to imitate also belongs to the primal reactions. 
Whatever is foreign is thus made one's own. The child learns 
everything through imitation. The psychic mass epidemics 
show the tremendous range and influence of the craving to 
imitate, which is the bipolar contrast to the so-called craving 
for "self-reliance,"-the urge to maintain one's own in the 
face of everything. 
All primordial reactions appear in pairs. They are bipolarly 
arranged. The will to power, or instinct for self-assertion, 
pairs itself with the instinct for self-abasement, the acquisitive 
urge with the craving to give away one's possessions, the 
creative urge with the craving to destroy, etc.7 
(Therefore it is not antithetical that the instinct to imitate 
creates fashions, while the differentiation urge impels every 
human being to strive to be unlike the others.) 
Civilization makes use of all these primordial reactions. 
Real culture is possible only when men accept as their own 
that which lies outside themselves. Social law is often 
stronger than instinct and instinct must yield. Law pre- 
vails against the will of the individual. That leads to para- INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
15 
pathy. Every parapathiac symptom is a moral reaction against 
the egoistic reflex which combines all primordial cravings 
and reactions. The egoistic reflex clings to every stimulus 
and leads it on until it is displaced for the most part by 
socialized stimuli (for the egoistic reflex is always asocial). 
The stranger and everything that does not belong to self are 
always inimical. The State first makes of a group of "others" 
part of ourselves. National feeling is the egoistic reflex of 
a group of people who share something in common (language, 
home, customs, etc.). The State mediates an identification 
of the individual with the group, i.e., its endeavour is to bring 
about such a result; it assumes that the individual is pre- 
pared to meet the requirement, an ideal which remains un- 
fulfilled inasmuch as complete identification can never take 
place (ideal of the socialistic State). Communism social- 
izes property, anarchism proposes to abolish it, socialism in- 
tends to dedicate it to the use of all. 
These explanations should enable us to understand a little 
more clearly the nature of impulse. 
Impulse is the impact of self against that which is perceived 
as not self; it stands for the supremacy of the egoistic reflex. 
For the gist of the impulse, like that of every primordial 
reaction, is always the attainment of gratification. Whether 
I knock down my opponent, steal something, or carry out 
impulsively a charitable act (for instance, give a beggar a large 
sum of money), the sense of my action is always the same: 
the action is intended to yield me a feeling of pleasure, or 
gratification. The impulse seeks to attain gratification by 
the most direct route,-it disregards the inhibitions imposed 
by culture as well as one's own inhibitions. Between action 
and pleasure, there stands, then, no outside imperative. The 
imperative of pleasure alone stands supreme. 
Every one carries out impulsive acts. But there is a con- 
siderable difference between the impulses of the average man 
and the parapathiac's impulses. The average man's impulsive 
acts have an onward trend. The trend of the parapathiac's im- 
pulses, as shown in this work, is directed backwards. The nor- 
mal man's impulse combines reality with fantasy; for the 
time, while the impulse lasts, conscious and unconscious tend- 16 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
encies fuse together. The parapathiac's impulse always shows 
the tendency to symbolization and amounts to a pose; it serves 
a fiction, it stands in sharp contrast to reality. The impulsive 
acts of such persons truly represent an endeavour to achieve 
what Nietzsche calls the "Wiederkehr des Gleichen," "the 
return of sameness." Parapathiac impulses are offshoots into 
the past; they represent symbolic attempts at solving an im- 
possible problem. 
The most important form of parapathiac impulse, i.e., the 
most commonly observed manner in which the primordial re- 
actions break through the whole personality, is the so-called 
sudden "spell," "attack," or "seizure" 
All spells represent impulsive acts. The most common form 
is the attack of morbid dread (cp. my work, Nervous Anxiety 
States, authorized English version of 3rd German edition, 
tr., Chapter V). With his dread the parapathiac protects 
himself against his asocial tendencies. Instead of an action 
we witness a highly emotional state. Meanwhile the sufferer 
fears the possible outbreak of his impulses and repressed 
thoughts. The integrated personality flees from the recogni- 
tion of its instinctive trends. That leads to the "spells" dur- 
ing which the consciousness is more or less beclouded: 
dreamy states, hysterical attack, attack of epilepsy (ibid., 
Chapter XXIII: The Psychic Treatment of Epilepsy}. 
How is this state of narcosis brought about? What does 
the dream state accomplish? We must assume that the crisis 
stands for a tremendous release of dammed-up affect, an 
explosion of heaped-up combustible material. This leads to 
a sort of ecstasy. Ecstasy means a shrinking of consciousness 
induced by a powerful affect. The affect induces narcosis 
or a sleep-like stupor. 
The impulsive acts of which we treat in the following chap- 
ters also occur during spells. In most cases they give the 
impression of being periodic disorders. 
Typical "spells" are shown particularly by the exhibition- 
ists, as described extensively in Vol. V. (Psycho-Sexual In- 
fantilism, trsl., Van Teslaar, Chapter XIX: Exhibitionism.) 
Exhibitionism is an impulse overtly sexual, whereas the im- 
pulses described in this work, cleptomania and dromomania, INSTINCT, AFFECT AND IMPULSE 
17 
pyromania and dypsomania, etc., hide their sexual character. 
The most common manifestations of sexual impulses, the 
sadistic acts, will be described systematically in a forthcoming 
volume of this Series of Studies, entitled, Sadism and Masoch- 
ism. 
The present work, therefore, is devoted to the study of those 
sexual impulses which are masked under various other for- 
bidden acts. 
Incidentally we shall prove that these varied clinical pictures 
have a common basis: like exhibitionism, they are so many 
manifestations of psycho-sexual infantilism. 
For that reason this work links itself very closely to my 
Study of Psycho-Sexual Infantilism. It is practically a con- 
tinuation of that work, constituting a necessary completion 
thereof. II 
THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
Very gently a divinity speaks in our breast. Gently, but 
distinctly, pointing out what we should aim for, what we 
should avoid. 
Goethe. 
Two opposite forces govern the human life: the wish for 
change (craving for excitement, neophilia, the desire for 
something new) and the longing to hold on to, or go through 
again, the old experiences (conservatism, neophobia, the tend- 
ency to keep everything in status quo ante}.1 The wander- 
ing instinct serves both tendencies. It stands not only for 
the gratification implied in activity, it represents also the 
seeking of newer sources of gratification. The wandering 
instinct sets in always when our everyday life is no longer 
satisfactory. Unfulfilled wishes, unsatisfied longings, puz- 
zling excitations, repressed impulses, strive for expression. 
Every impulse tends to express itself motorially, i.e., in some 
form of muscular activity. Muscular motion is the most 
primitive of all impulsive expressions. Every stimulus from 
within tends to express itself in movement, i.e., in some form 
of muscular action. The affect linked with the impulse re- 
quires motor release. 
Any one who treats parapathiacs knows that these patients 
complain of a torturing restlessness which they themselves 
are unable to explain. Many of these sufferers pace to and 
fro, restlessly, in t.heir rooms, or run out on the streets, as 
if looking for something, then hurry back to their home. 
Often they roam for hours. The impulse presses for activity. 
It is then often a question of incidental circumstance how 
the sufferer happens to find the relief he seeks. He drinks, 
takes opium or bromides, he steals, sets places afire, or he 
may merely run off and roam around aimlessly. The simplest 
18 THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
form of this reaction is the compulsive talking and scolding, 
or swearing, the uncontrollable and insatiable need of getting 
things off one's breast by talking them out. 
Case i. Mrs. W. C., a 49-year-old mother of five children, 
is seized every morning by a torturing restlessness which impels 
her to talk without pause for an hour or two at a time. The 
flow of her talk is incessant. As her husband did not want to 
hear her out and she was afraid of appearing ridiculous in her 
servants' eyes, a relation of her housekeeper's, a young woman, 
was engaged for the sole purpose of serving as a lightning rod 
conductor for these daily morning storms. Regularly at half 
past eight in the morning she rushes into the girl's room and 
begins to storm about her household troubles, her cares on 
account of the children, about her husband, the bad times, and 
keeps this up until she tires herself out in a two hours' harangue. 
Once she was ill with laryngitis and her physician forbade her 
to talk. She was compelled to run out of the house and roam 
for a couple of hours. Then she came home very much calmed. 
When the war affected adversely their financial condition, she 
agreed with her husband that the girl ought to be dismissed. At 
the prospect of having no one to listen to her mornings the 
woman was disconsolate. Finally she prevailed upon her hus- 
band to have the girl retained after all. It is interesting that 
the daughter, too, got into this bad habit and tried to compel 
her mother to listen to her. The reason for the daughter's 
parapathy was her jealousy of the girl. 
The patient suffered also from a compulsive thought, which 
was really a compulsive deed and the surrogate for an impulse. 
She could not help glancing at every man's genital region (a 
significant primal reaction), and thought that the men noticed 
her looking at that part and were amused over it. Therefore 
she avoided all social intercourse, becoming "man shy" in 
particular. As the analysis showed, that look was the fore- 
runner of another impulse displayed by some women,-the 
impulse to seize the man at the genitals. (Women's aggres- 
sive tendency combined with powerful homosexual determi- 
nants.) In the morning she was in the habit of drowsing a 
little in bed, she was hanging on to her fantasies. Al- 
ways ungratified, her fantasies revolved around the thought 
19 PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
20 
of finding gratification by means of an adequately potent 
phallus. This impulse she turned into a talk impulse, which 
was meant for a confession, though revolving around matters 
which were apparently irrelevant. Here and there a bit of 
confession broke in. But the impulse drove her on and on; 
she spoke uninterruptedly, incessantly, without reflecting, as 
does a person suffering from flights of ideas. At my sug- 
gestion she transferred her talk on paper; she thus covered 
many pages with thoughts, doubts, confessions,-or else ran 
out of the house to walk off her fantasies. 
Every physician is acquainted with the type of patient who 
comes into the office with a never-ending avalanche of talk. 
The analyst knows that the plethora of words serves to cover 
a specific secret. The real impulse is unknown to these suf- 
ferers. The need of expressing themselves, the urge to give 
shape to some wish, some pressing experience, some painful 
thought, breaks out in the form of talking apparently for the 
mere sake of talking. It is a case of affect transference. 
(These patients are never satisfied, they complain that the 
consultant does not give them enough time and they have no 
chance to tell him everything.) 
Such a transposition of impulses is often observed. Sexual 
desire expresses itself as hunger, or unquenchable thirst, or 
breaks out as impulsive restlessness. Bulimia (insatiable 
hunger) and dipsomania (drink habit) are transposed sexual 
impulses, often combined with wanderlust. 
Case 2. Ms., 35 years of age, suffers from crises of insatiable 
hunger (bulimia) which cease suddenly, changing into dromo- 
mania (Regis's term for the wanderlust). He wanders and 
roams without stopping. "I know very well that I shall have 
to take a 46-kilometer walk on the road, before I improve; then 
I feel well and become like a new being." (Janet, Obsessions et 
Psychasthenie, Vol. I.) 
Case 3. He., 51 years of age, takes very long hikes; once he 
walked from Paris to Lille. These hikes, he relates, "always 
have the same beginning. I feel a hidden sorrow, a deadly 
tediousness, an unknown dread . . . everything oppresses me, 
everything makes me uneasy, everything seems flat, the whole 
world seems not worth anything and I in it, of less account. . . . THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
21 
[Feelings of inferiority and depression.] Then I feel the need 
of moving, of rousing myself. I feel the foolish, irrepressible 
urge of doing something to make me get well so as to shake off 
this oppressive and unbearable dreariness. ... I must take pre- 
cautions against myself and to prevent myself from running 
away, I lock the doors from the inside and throw the key out 
of the window. But it is useless. I break open the door and 
run out without knowing it, as I do not remember the first day 
of my spells. I only know that when I come to myself I am 
already on the road. I am full of enthusiasm, the night is won- 
derful, the landscape majestic, everything seems excellent in this 
best of all worlds and I want to be doing something because I 
feel certain that I should accomplish something worth while. I 
do not dare break off such an inspiring outing and I keep on the 
road for days, but with the satisfying certainty of getting better 
day by day." (Janet, Medications Psychologiques, Vol. III.) 
Occasionally the wanderer's impulse is linked with an overt 
sexual impulse and with the drink craving. We shall record 
a number of such cases. First, there appears a gnawing rest- 
lessness. The patient feels the need of moving about. He 
goes from place to place, from inn to inn, drinks, pays, and 
runs off. Finally, after hours of wandering, he begins to 
accost women on the street, staring at them and appraising 
their charms. This he keeps up for many hours. Every 
woman, he finds, lacks something. She disappoints him. She 
is not what he is seeking. Finally, towards morning, being 
thoroughly exhausted, he falls in with the first prostitute he 
meets and without looking at her lets himself be dragged to 
her room. After intercourse with her (usually without or- 
gasm) he returns home disgusted and dead tired, sleeps heav- 
ily till morning, and for a time is quiet; then the cycle begins 
anew. 
Very interesting are the cases of dromomania which appear 
in combination with compulsive buying and bargain hunting. 
There are persons who run from store to store buying all 
sorts of trifles and asking all sorts of foolish questions, at 
times running into debt in order to satisfy their buying mania; 
then they take the things to the pawnshop, redeem them and 
begin over again. Often this condition is combined also PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
22 
with the folie de toucher (compulsive handling or touching 
of objects). In that state the subjects touch everything within 
their reach; they examine every article, unable to decide, then 
finally buy something entirely superfluous. Or else,-a com- 
mon variant,-they run from store to store to find something 
they "want"; or perhaps they wander around in search of a 
store where they may buy at the lowest possible price the article 
they want. They thus rationalize their craving, not realizing 
that running around and searching for something is their 
chief objective. 
During the pre-analytic period all such impulsive acts pre- 
sented a puzzling riddle. Since we have learned to appreciate 
that many persons of this type run either after their own 
past or after some unattainable ideal, and having learned how 
to ferret out the motives which lurk beyond the realm of 
consciousness, these cases have lost their character of un- 
motivated puzzles. 
The normal person exhibits similar states. There is no 
morbid condition which does not arise out of the normal 
and which does not have its prototype in the normal state. 
Everybody knows through personal experience that inner un- 
rest which leads to wandering; every one is familiar with the 
feverish unrest which leads more or less suddenly to the deci- 
sion of taking a journey. It is interesting also to note how 
much a person changes during a journey. In a little essay, 
Why We Travel,2 I have expressed this as follows: "Every 
journey is a journey into the realm of youth and into the 
unknown." 
Through the biographies of writers we are acquainted with 
the sudden decision to make a change, to undertake a journey, 
which may bring on a renewal of adolescence. I need refer 
only to Goethe's first Italian journey. He came to the decision 
with the suddenness of an overwhelming impulse. Thomas 
Mann, in his majestic story, Death in Venice, describes how 
a cryptic homosexual longing impels a journey which leads to 
a remarkable experience. Lenau's journey to America, Tol- 
stoy's last flight and Hauptmann's drama, Gabriel Schilling's 
Flight, may also be mentioned. 
The wish to run away from self may become transposed THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
into dromomania. But in such a case we fly to a second 
self, which is the infantile, or else we run away from that 
infantile self to another, which represents our integrating, 
adult selfhood. Many a person has found himself only after 
a journey. 
Analytic experience shows that morbid dromomania arises 
when the self is split and the conscious personality unable to 
meet the demands of the instinct-self. He who cannot rest 
in one place harbors in his breast a craving for some form 
of gratification which he is unable to find in his respective 
locality or situation. Or else such a person cannot adjust 
himself to the requirements of the society in which he 
finds himself, he is an emotional anarchist, bent on express- 
ing his primordial reactions. The most pronounced split 
is found in certain paralogies, especially in schizophrenia. 
Therefore among the paralogiacs we find the clearest instances 
of dromomania. Wilmanns, in his masterly study, The 
Psychopathology of the Tramp,3 has examined clinically 52 
tramps who have come repeatedly into conflict with the law 
and he has found symptoms of dementia praecox in every 
one. The first group comprises 14 cases ending in high-grade 
stupor with catatonic symptoms; the second, 25 cases which 
ended in various other serious mental disorders; and the third 
group of 12 showed lighter mental defects at the terminal 
stage. I quote one illustration from his wealth of clinical 
data: 
Case 4. A vagabond, 46 years of age, J. M., who ran away 
from his parents at the age of 19. At the age of 20 he stole 
from his father, who entered a complaint, was jailed and sen- 
tenced to the work house. After that he committed theft after 
theft. He wandered into France and Algiers and was interned 
at various institutions for the insane. He shows distinct traces 
of identification with the Christ {Jesus Christ c'est moi) ; he is 
Mohammed; he comes from one of the noblest families (his 
mother is from Anjou). After a period of stupor (with inter- 
mittent catatonic agitation) complete recovery. 
We shall gain a better insight into these cases after studying 
similar parapathies. I quote the case here merely to show 
23  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
that the dromomania is a paralogic symptom of greatest 
importance. Deserters have often been treated unfairly dur- 
ing the war. Very many of them were mentally deranged, as 
a number of clinical investigations have shown. 
The parapathies show also a pronounced dromomania by 
way of impulse. This impulse arises suddenly and may lead 
to the most remarkable clinical manifestations such as have 
been described as dromomania, poriomania and fugues (tem- 
porary "absences"). 
Janet, who has paid close attention to dromomania, dis- 
tinguishes three important forms: i. Dromomania during the 
epileptic attacks with subsequent amnesia; 2. dromomania of 
hystericals, also followed by amnesia, and 3. the dromomania 
of psychasthenics, without impairment of the consciousness.4 
Concerning epilepsy as a morbid impulse and the signifi- 
cance of the change of the criminal impulse into an "attack," 
or epileptic "seizure," I have already made some significant 
observations in the first volume of the Series.5 I shall treat 
this subject more fully in Vol. X. For the present we shall 
pay attention chiefly to the dromomania of parapathiacs. The 
two forms: 1. dromomania with preservation of the conscious- 
ness and full awareness of the occurrences during the episode 
of wandering; 2. dromomania during the hypnoidal states 
(sleep, dream, drowsiness, emotional sprees, etc.), as we shall 
see, are often fused together. 
I find that Janet has overlooked two important facts. 
There is a flight away from home as well as a flight back. 
Lastly, the two trends may be combined. One may flee from 
the home and at the same time seek it in symbolic form. 
Therefore we must distinguish: 
1. A centrifugal dromomania (wanderlust), which I call 
"fugue," or "flight from home" (running away from one's 
parents, marriage, country or from one's past life). 
2. A centripetal dromomania (wanderlust), the dromo- 
mania proper, or "flight back home" (nostalgia, longing for 
the parents, running away from marriage, desertion, flight 
back to one's own past life). 
3. A circular wanderlust, or "poriomania," which appar- 
ently impels the victim to leave home, though what he really 
24 THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
25 
seeks in symbolic form by his wanderings is the land of his 
youth, i.e., he longs for home. 
The third form is the most difficult to understand and 
becomes perfectly clear only after analysis and in the light 
of our understanding of psycho-sexual infantilism. The 
wanderers seek the paradise of childhood. Their wander- 
ings are carried on mostly in dreamy states. But this be- 
haviour yields the first insight into the psychology of the 
other types of wanderlust. All these subjects run after an 
infantile experience. They seek an impossible ideal: their 
own rebirth and the return of their former life. 
I begin therefore with an account of the last type, illus- 
trating an urge which I call "persevering impulse." This per- 
severing impulse may be best illustrated by the following highly 
interesting account of a case which we owe to Ferdinand 
Morel:6 
Case 5. A 44-year-old American, married since his 24th year, 
father of a boy, financially in comfortable circumstances, aban- 
dons his family and his position, travels by train through the 
length of the Continent to the Coast, wanders afoot through a 
great part of Europe and is arrested in Geneva as a tramp. He 
himself indicates the objective of his wandering: he seeks para- 
dise, a garden of eternal spring, where man is immortal, where 
every man has a wife whom he truly loves, without begetting 
children. He goes about barefoot, often throws off his clothes 
to get close to the earth and to be bathed by the sun. He says 
that his mother bestowed more love and attention on him than 
was necessary. (Both parents are living.) His sexuality is at 
present markedly inhibited. He loved his wife as a sister; he 
had intercourse with her at first, but afterwards sexual acts only 
repelled and disgusted him. At 30 years of age he turned his 
affection to a six-year-old orphan, whom he loved as a little 
sister. The child died at 12. He lost in her his best friend. 
He now hates work, like all men who are swayed by their day- 
dreams. God said to Adam: "Work is evil." He began his 
wanderings after the death of his little friend. Gradually he 
became intraverted and developed signs of a Christ neurosis. 
He became abstinent; voices called to him: "You are Christ!" 
Five years ago a voice warned him: "Get ready and come!" 
In his wanderings he drifts continually towards the east? to 26 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
get home, i.e., to paradise. America is the land of wild beasts. 
"The earth is like a fish: one side of it is turned to the sun, 
that is the side fit for human habitation. The other side, fit 
for the beasts, is in darkness." America belongs to the side 
which is in darkness. The paradise lies somewhere in Europe. 
He came by boat to Spain, then he tramped afoot through France 
and Switzerland. He has wandered for the past two years, 
without any means, restlessly pursuing his aim. Neither the war 
nor the lack of credentials, neither the watchmen at the frontiers 
nor the police could stop him. Morel observes very properly: 
"This long wandering from one hemisphere to the other repre- 
sents the passing from extraversion to intra version. He aban- 
dons the real world to seek an imaginary world which dwells 
in his breast." He tramps not only during the daytime. He 
wanders also in his dreams-more rapidly, without any hindrance 
or encumbrance. The moment he wakes up his feet are in mo- 
tion. He feels he can reach his wishes with his feet rather than 
with his head-best of all, naked. "Like a balloon without ballast 
reaching the heights, I throw away my clothes, to get ahead faster 
and be bound by nothing in the world." He pursues his dreams. 
But in paradise he will find peace. There his dream will be ful- 
filled. He surmises vaguely the great disappointment at the end 
of his journey. "In paradise every one will find his own paradise, 
you yours, I mine." "Even in paradise I shall keep going towards 
the east: one must always go forwards, never backwards. For- 
wards is always more satisfying." At 65 years of age, after 
having traversed 10,000 kilometers, he will attain his aim. He 
does not wander alone. He is not old. In his fantasy he is but 
20 years of age and his little sister accompanies him. In paradise 
he will be drawn first to Venus, then nearer and nearer to the 
sun, his real objective; and he will never return to earth. 
Here we have a splendid illustration showing how impul- 
sive restlessness leads to a lifetime of wandering. Does this 
man go onwards? Not at all. The remarkable feature of 
this case is that the man goes backwards; he seeks to get 
back to the paradise of his childhood, back to his mother 
(Venus), and into her body (paradise), perhaps back into 
his father's body (the sun). He apparently proceeds on- 
wards in his wanderings, but as a matter of fact he runs 
back after his past childhood life. He longs to get back THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
to his childhood paradise. He wants to start a new life. 
He abandons the "new world," to go back to the "old world." 
He drifts towards the orient, in the direction of the sunrise, 
the cradle of life. Ex oriente lux. 
He abandons his parents and his family and drifts across 
half of Europe in search of paradise. Like the maniac, he is 
dominated by a fixed impulse;7 his mental state is a con- 
tinuous emotional daze from which there is perhaps no awak- 
ening. 
Medical literature records many cases showing that persons 
in this state drift or take long journeys, awakening in some 
distant place. I have not had such cases under my personal 
observation, but the books of mystics and spiritists, who as- 
sume the existence of a second self, are filled with the records 
of them. Our daily newspapers are keen to exploit such sen- 
sational occurrences as news when they are current. Here 
is a case which I have clipped from an English newspaper. 
Case 6. A young man clad in rags is brought before the 
Court at St. Paul, Minnesota, for vagrancy. He is unable to 
tell anything about himself. He seems dazed and gives mono- 
syllabic, indefinite answers to the questions he is asked. 
No proof could be adduced that he had committed any offence 
or that he had begged for alms. His sole offence was that he 
was penniless and a stranger in the locality. 
The judge discharged him. An officer touched him on the 
arm. The prisoner turned around and shuffled to the door 
leading into the hall. 
At that moment the door opened and Mr. O. R. D., a wealthy 
Montana farmer, entered the Court room. He had just come to 
pay the fine imposed upon one of his cattle drivers who on 
reaching the City with a load of cattle started to paint the place 
red and had run into conflict with the law. 
Mr. D. bumped into the ex-prisoner, nearly knocking him 
down by the impact. Suddenly he broke off his excuses and 
embraced the man: 
"Frank!" he shouted, "where have you been?" 
The ragged stranger was completely dazed. But when his 
brother embraced him so warmly, his demeanor changed. 
"I haven't the least notion, Oliver," he answered. 
The judge now found out that the tramp, whose real name 
27 28 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
was F. D., belonged to a prominent Boston family. He returned 
from the war a sufferer from shell shock and disappeared sud- 
denly from his home four years ago. Since then he has wan- 
dered through the country, a victim of amnesia. He did not 
know who he was nor whence he came. His parents and his 
brother had spent hundreds of dollars seaching for him without 
discovering a clue. 
A. Maeder 8 records an interesting paralogiac flight (centri- 
fugal type), as follows: 
Case 7. "Martha, a young girl, runs away from home, under 
the impulsion of a terrible dread; she has the insane notion that 
her father intends to kill her. She had been restless and uneasy 
for some time; could not endure the home life; felt lonely, in 
sharp contrast to her environment. The persecution idea arose 
in her mind quite suddenly, though her father had not done any- 
thing to warrant the suspicion. The conscious situation was as 
follows: Martha was interested in a young man with whom she 
maintained an inspiring friendship. There was no conscious 
erotic attraction. Martha went out of town on a visit for a short 
time, just before her illness, and she wrote to the young 
man inviting him to accompany her to a concert in that other 
City. Her letter remained unanswered. Martha became uneasy, 
fearing that she had perhaps been a little too forward with the 
young man. She returned home. Then, quite suddenly, the 
thought occurred to her that her father must have spoken to the 
young man and asked him to keep away from her. The restless- 
ness increased, everything apparently centering around her father. 
Suddenly there comes to her, first in dreams, then in the waking 
state, the thought that her father is trying to poison her (she 
was watching in the kitchen to catch her father and prevent him 
from carrying out the plan). She became so panicky that she 
ran away. She ran to relatives who brought her to me for treat- 
ment. 
The conflict arose during the rise of her love emotion. 
In her attitude towards the young man she was aware merely 
of friendship,-it was a platonic relationship. After she grew 
so bold as to invite him to a concert (a light bid for personal 
favour) and received no answer, she became aware also of THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
her erotic longing; she was then very much ashamed of what 
she had done, reacted with intense pride, and denied herself 
the whole relationship. This new attitude severed her con- 
scious relations with the man,-the only relationship of the 
kind in her life; her consciousness thus became a void. The 
consequence of this was an automatic flaring up of the con- 
tents of the unconscious. Her notion that her father must 
have forbidden the young man to see her was pure invention. 
The hidden meaning of this thought was that her relation 
to the young man was dangerous on account of her father 
complex, or expressing it more simply, it endangered her 
inner father-imago; we shall see presently what this means. 
Martha describes her father as a brutal tyrant and a cynic 
who wallows in the grossest materialism. She herself is an 
awakened, idealistic girl keenly interested in social, artistic 
and religious questions, but rather indifferent to sensual or 
worldly matters. In spite of her ambition to do something 
useful in a higher sense she has been thus far unable to find 
her mission in life and though she has tried repeatedly she 
has accomplished nothing. She cannot do it. It seems she 
is lacking something to be successful. She actually lives in 
a divided world, affirming only the nobler, ideal side of life, 
while holding aloof from the world of reality. The slight 
erotic adumbration of her friendship was enough to induce 
her to give up that relationship and to repress from con- 
sciousness everything that pertained to it. The father is 
to her the representative, the symbol, of the darker, hateful 
side of life, specifically the symbol of her own thwarted in- 
stincts, repressed sensuality and denied inner forces. She is 
in a terrible conflict over the contrast. Her father's supposed 
sudden interference in her affairs generated the first spark 
between fehe two potentially charged poles of her being. The 
reactivated unconscious awakened, impinging upon and threat- 
ening the supremacy of her former one-sided conscious atti- 
tude. The tension became so severe that it expressed itself 
symbolically through the notion of being pursued by the father 
with murderous intent. My immediate therapeutic endeavours 
ours were directed at once to disclose to Martha, by means of 
psychoanalysis, the symbolic role of her father, i.e., to in- 
29  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
30 
terest her in the operations of her own unconscious, in order 
to help her acquire a new attitude towards her thwarted 
and repressed self. Through laborious efforts she was able 
to face the fact that that which she was fighting against so 
desperately, as shown by her attitude towards her father and 
others, was also present within herself and she learned to 
regard her problem as a problem pertaining to her own inner 
self. With the accomplishment of this task her idea of per- 
secution vanished, and reality became the genuine focusing 
point; expressed in concerto, her father again appeared to her 
as what he really was, a man with his strong and his weak 
sides, a man of flesh and blood as we all are. 
Maeder, in a footnote, admits the fragmentary character 
of his findings and indicates that the father played a larger 
role. I believe he ought not to have left out of consideration 
the sexual significance of the father complex. For the alleged 
jealousy of the father becomes meaningful only under the 
premise of love on his part. The success of the treatment 
does not prove that the conception was correct. The girl 
succeeded in the attempt of freeing herself from all her 
dammed-up affects. "She went through severe agitations, dur- 
ing which harshness, cruelty, desire for mastery, sensuality, 
hatred and glowing jealousy struggled for supremacy," states 
Maeder. She became acquainted with the sub-cellar of her 
idealistic soul. Her energies were tamed and directed into 
their proper channel. 
Any one who is at all familiar with the foundations of 
psychoanalysis here recognizes at once the role of the Electra 
complex and understands why the girl had to flee her paternal 
home. That flight, like all centrifugal "fugues," was a run- 
ning away from self. 
These impulsive acts have been little studied in the past 
and thus far they had not been traced to their roots. The 
Maeder case stands out as an attempt at analysis. I do not 
believe that motives are ever single. Further analyses will 
show us how complicatedly every impulsive act is motivated, 
how the motives multiply and interlace like a complicated 
game of forces, until, at last, the resultant expresses itself 
in an action.9 THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
The medico-psychoanalytic literature is relatively scant, con- 
taining no extensive observations. 
Impulsive acts carried on during sleep are far better 
known. Krafft-Ebing, in his Legal Psychopathology, records 
a large number of cases of this type, mostly old ones. But 
there are also many well-authenticated cases of more recent 
date which prove that inhibitions may be overcome during 
sleep, so as to leave the path free for the commission of 
criminal acts, the dream pictures furnishing the necessary illu- 
sion for the carrying out of the crime. Since our familiarity 
with the suppressed dream inciters, this is not surprising. 
Freud has disclosed the suppressed sexual, and I the sup- 
pressed criminal, inciters. At any rate we note that criminal 
deeds are relatively rare when we take into consideration 
the frequency of criminal dreams. It is the function of the 
dream to prevent such crimes by representing them vicariously 
in the dream visions. The impulse must be extraordinarily 
powerful to lead to action during the dream state. In such 
cases we may actually speak of a sleep narcosis (Schlaftrun- 
kenheit),-a sort of profound sleep. 
Case 8. A woman dreamed that her children were shouting 
that the house was on fire and in her dazed sleepy state she threw 
her baby out of the window so as to save it from the flames. A 
constable, hearing her outcries: "Save my children I" rushed into 
the bedroom where he found her in her nightgown dazed with 
sleep. Everything in the room was in disorder. Two of the 
little children were cowering and trembling in a corner. The 
woman was wailing: "Where is my baby? I must have thrown 
him out of the window !" 
Any one familiar with the inimical feeling-attitude of 
mothers towards their children 10 would know that the dream 
gave this woman the opportunity to get rid of her troublesome 
baby. The impulse to kill the child was too weak to break 
through during the daytime. But it clung slyly to her brain, 
expressing itself, at last, in that unfortunate act. Experienced 
interpreters may find a deeper motivation for her conduct. 
In a similar case a woman dreamed that she was pursued 
by a mad dog and she tried to drive him off by throwing 
31  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
32 
stones. Scared out of her sleep by this terrible dream, in her 
daze she picked up the baby girl lying asleep at her side and 
with all her might hurled it against the wall, believing she 
was hurling a rock at the dog. Here, too, we must assume 
an unconscious hatred against the child. The impulse takes 
advantage of the stuporous state of sleep to stage a criminal 
deed which is thus turned into a misfortune for which pun- 
ishment, of course, is out of the question. Even more tragic 
is the next case: 
Case 9. B., a proprietor, young, plethoric, excitable, inclined 
to blood rushes, always had very vivid dreams and was considered 
by his family inclined to be very drowsy. As he lived alone 
and was justifiedly afraid of robbers, he always kept arms and 
a sword at his bedside. One morning his brother called to take 
him to a hunt. B., still in a stupor from sleepiness, jumped with 
drawn sword at his brother, who seized him and called him by 
name in time for the man to come to himself. Some time there- 
after his father called under similar circumstances and the sleep- 
drunk son shot him to death. 
This case is also plain to the psychoanalyst who understands 
the bipolar attitude of the son towards both, the father and 
the brother. A whole family may be annihilated during sleep. 
Several years ago I read in the Muenchener Medizinische 
Zeitschrift of a man who killed his wife and four children 
during the stupor of sleep. Unfortunately I have not pre- 
served the reference.11 The following is an older observation. 
Case io. Sleep disease. Killing of wife. B. Sch., 32 years 
of age, laborer, lived with his wife and two children, 7 and 8 
years of age, in an open shed. Buoyed by the prospect of 
securing a position as gardener, Sch. and his family enjoyed 
their evening meal on June 30. At 8 o'clock the family retired. 
Towards midnight Sch. awoke suddenly from his deep slumber. 
He perceived a mysterious shape advancing towards him. 
Amazed, he cried out: "Who is there ?" The terrible figure gave 
no reply! He thought it was sliding closer to reach out for 
him. Beside himself with fear he lifted the ax that was lying 
near him and struck at the phantastic figure with all his might. 
At the very first stroke he heard an outcry. The terrible thought THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
33 
came to him that he must have hit his wife. At once he kneeled 
down and raising the fallen woman's head he saw a terrible, 
deep cut from which the blood was pouring. He shouted in 
terror: "Susan, come to!" Calling to his daughter he asked 
whether the mother was lying with her in bed. Then he called 
the grandmother and told her what had happened. He was hor- 
rified and dazed. He ran to a neighbouring village, spent the 
rest of the night in a hay loft and in the morning came down 
desolate, pale, trembling, and asked to be taken to the authori- 
ties. Sch. was terribly shaken up. His marriage was happy, 
his reputation good. He had never had any serious illness. 
Nor was he ever troubled by bad dreams. So far as he knows 
he had no dream on that fateful night. A few days before, 
Sch.' had some legal trouble with the father-in-law and with 
the Court but it had been settled. Of course, he was considered 
quick-tempered. Obviously he had mistaken his wife for a 
ghastly figure. 
Such cases are not exceptional; they show that, in spite of 
all the moral inhibitions, the hidden impulse, even though it be 
ever so far removed from the field of consciousness, may, 
after all, break through. 
Sexual impulses are expressed in dreams even more fre- 
quently than the criminal tendencies. Professional experience 
during the last few years has repeatedly shown me how com- 
pletely persons may abandon themselves to their sexual pro- 
pensities during sleep and dreams. I have gathered a mass 
of observations showing that mothers play with the genitalia 
of their children with whom they share the bed without hav- 
ing next morning any suspicion of what they had done during 
the night. I know also of fathers who have done likewise 
with their daughters and with their sons during sleep. Occa- 
sionally the objectives are sought during the sleep state. We 
are then justified to speak of somnambulism. The question 
whether incestuous deeds may be carried out during the som- 
nambulic state must be answered in the affirmative. An inter- 
esting case will be reported later in this work. It is often very 
difficult to decide whether the somnambulic state was real or 
feigned, since "drunk with sleep" suggests itself as a ready 
excuse. Often only one of the persons concerned was in a  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
34 
somnambulic state; the other either knows it and permits the 
intimacy or does not even know that the partner is carrying 
out his part of the adventure while asleep. 
This brings us to the interesting theme,-sleep walking, 
which has always appealed to the imagination of mankind. 
How strangely my imagination was stirred during child- 
hood when I heard about "moon struck" persons who leave 
their beds and without fear climb adroitly upon roofs, no 
matter how high. I imagined that the moon must exert some 
particular influence which attracts not only objects but human 
beings as well, drawing them to itself. Therefore the soft 
shine of the full moon inspired me with a weird sense of the 
supernatural. It was a long time before personal observation 
of sleep walkers, or moon wanderers, taught me that the 
peculiar phenomenon of sleep walking at night had nothing 
to do with the moon. The full moon facilitates orientation 
at night; the sleep walker sees better and is more readily seen 
in turn. Although sleep walkers are but dreamers with their 
eyes open, they require light in order to follow the paths 
which bring them nearer to the objectives unknown to their 
consciousness. 
This statement explains the whole riddle of sleep walking. 
The subjects are persons fighting with temptations repellent 
to the consciousness. In the daytime their various moral 
and religious inhibitions are effective. During sleep some of 
these inhibitions are removed and then the unconscious 
prompts them to commit some deed which, at last, becomes 
expressed in some form of motor activity. I have treated 
a man who every night approached a relative's bed while 
asleep and had to be led back. In the morning he knew noth- 
ing about it. I found out that, because he was impatiently 
awaiting his share of the inheritance, he wanted to kill his 
aunt. During the daytime he was a most considerate and 
solicitous nephew. But at night his dark, murderous thoughts 
found an opportunity of impelling him to carry out a sort 
of symptomatic act. In his sleep walking he always ap- 
proached her bed; there he stopped, carrying out a sawing 
motion in the air, a motion which obviously represented the 
act of striking her with a dagger. THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
35 
I have dwelt so extensively on the criminal impulses break- 
ing out in dreams and during dream states because the 
Freudian school always dwells only on the sexual, neglecting 
the criminal impulses. But many illustrations could be given 
to show the close relationship between crime and noctambulism. 
Shakespeare, in his Lady Macbeth, has furnished us a masterly 
illustration, to which I shall refer again later. It shows 
us the power of the conscience. Various somnambulic states 
exhibit merely the repetitive urge of some impulse, other 
somnambulic states enact symbolically some specific deed. 
Persons wake up at night, go to the faucet and drink a glass 
of water. That certainly seems harmless. But if it happens 
every night, with the accompaniment of a corresponding 
dream, and the dreamers do not know next day what they 
have done, we have before us a symbolic substitutive act. 
We are acquainted with the parapathiac ascete, the type of 
person who must eat at night, because with such persons 
eating becomes a substitute for sexual indulgence. I know 
a girl who wanders to the dining-room in a somnambulic state 
at night and eats all kinds of food. Next day she does not 
remember a thing about it. 
We may understand the somnambulic states only if we 
appreciate the fact that in most cases they represent partially 
repressed and symbolically expressed impulses. Many dream- 
ers tear their bedclothes, grind their teeth, get up and break 
a window, or throw to the floor any articles that happen to 
be standing around. Through the interpretation of dreams 
it is always possible to prove that in such cases these actions 
represent symbolically expressed impulses. 
That is the difference which I have repeatedly emphasized 
herein between the primordial man and the man of culture.12 
During sleep there awakens within us the primordial self, 
capable of overcoming the inhibitions of training more easily 
than the cultured self itself does during the waking state. The 
criminal trends in particular form the background for sleep 
walking. 
Case ii. Krafft-Ebing reports the following interesting case: 
A monk, of a gloomy temperament, was known to be a sleep 36 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
walker. One night while his prior sat at the writing desk, 
absorbed in thought, the sleep-walking monk glided into the 
room, with his eyes wide open, clutching a knife in his hand. 
He noticed neither the prior seated at the table nor the burning 
candle; stepping slowly up to the cot he stuck his knife three 
times into the bedclothes and then walked back to his cell, satis- 
fied. Next morning he confessed to the astonished prior, that 
he dreamed the prior had killed his mother and that her blood- 
stained shadow appeared to him demanding revenge. He be- 
stirred himself and knifed the prior in his dream. Shortly there- 
after, he woke up, found himself lying in his cot, bathed in 
perspiration, and thanked God that it was only a horrible dream. 
The monk was astounded when the prior told him what had 
happened. 
This case, too, is worthy of analysis. The prior, like every 
person in authority, represents the father. His mother urges 
him to kill the father. We have here a gruesome ballad 
theme, resembling the famous Edward ballad, in Herder's 
Stimmen der Volker in Liedern, set to music so beautifully 
by Loewe. However, we must avoid in psychoanalysis one- 
sidedness and stifling formulae. We should therefore abstain 
from introjecting our interpretation into occurrences. With a 
little ingenuity and pettifogging anything may be interpreted 
according to a given formula. Thus Sadger, in his book on 
Moon and Sleep Walking,13 comes to the conclusion that Lady 
Macbeth wandered to her father's bed with the lit candle 
(naturally a phallic symbol). And the proof? Shakespeare 
himself has furnished the proof. Lady Macbeth utters the 
following betraying words, while listening, as her husband 
carries out the murder: 
Had he not resembled my father, while he slept, I had done't 
myself . . . 
Further proofs must be looked up in Sadger's study. For 
my part I see in Lady Macbeth's sleep walking nothing more 
than the promptings of a troubled conscience. 
Let us now turn our attention to the impulse to go over 
and over the same ground, or repeat a specific act,-the THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
37 
repetitive tendency,-which Freud very properly has described 
as an attempt at repeating a past occurrence so as to carry 
it out differently (i.e., better). But the urge for repetition 
frequently stands for the desire to undo the past by annulling 
something which has happened. Often the repetition is gone 
through, i.e., an act is repeated over and over, as a retribution, 
as a conscience punishment and stands for a persevering me- 
mento. Ahasuerus must wander, wander forever, because he 
denied rest to the Son of God. The meaning of this legend 
is that the wandering impulse arises when the Lord's com- 
mandments are broken. Therefore the holy pilgrims wander 
sometimes aimlessly, and sometimes on a pilgrimage to the 
Pope or to the Holy Sepulchre. These long pilgrimages are 
undertaken as a penance. The restlessness of the heart ex- 
presses itself under the form of incessant activity. 
Sleep walking, therefore, represents merely the restlessness 
due to the pressure of some impulse. Sadger14 arrives at 
very precise conclusions, based on several extensive analyses 
and on various quotations from literature. His conclusions 
are as follows: 
1. Sleep-walking, with or without the influence of the 
moon, represents a motorial outbreak of the unconscious and, 
like the dream, it serves to fulfill secret, unbidden wishes, 
apparently pertaining to the present, but in reality harking 
back to the infantile life. In all cases more or less analyzed 
these wishes prove to be of sexual-erotic nature. 
2. The non-veiled wishes are also mostly of the same char- 
acter. The sleep walker's chief usual wish (either sex) is to 
crawl into the beloved person's bed as in childhood-a fact 
known to poetry and folklore. But the love objective need 
not necessarily be current; it may belong to early childhood. 
3. Not infrequently sleep-walking brings about identifica- 
tion with the beloved person; occasionally that person's under- 
wear or clothing is put on, or the love objective's demeanor 
is imitated. 
4. Sleep-walking may also have an infantile prototype; 
the children sometimes go to sleep so as to be able to carry 
out various forbidden acts, specifically of a sexual nature, 38 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
without the danger of incurring punishment, inasmuch as they 
cannot be held responsible for anything they do "unconsciously, 
in sleep." The same motive-avoidance of responsibility- 
governs also the adult sleep walker who wants to gratify his 
sexual cravings without incurring responsibility. This psychic 
motivation holds true also of the noctambulism carried out in 
the midst of deep sleep, even though physical factors may fur- 
nish the precipitating cause. 
5. The interference with sleep and rest through the mo- 
torial outbreak in sleep-walking or somnambulism is due to 
the fact that all sleep walkers manifest an increased muscular 
irritability and muscle eroticism. . . . Consequently these 
manifestations are particularly common in the offspring of 
habitual drinkers, epileptics, sadists and hysterical persons with 
pronounced motorial disturbances. 
6. Sleep-walking, or somnambulism, in itself is sympto- 
matic neither of hysteria nor of epilepsy. But such mani- 
festations are frequently combined with the former condition. 
The influence of the moon in lunacy is very little known, 
especially with regard to its psychical overdetermination. 
There can be no doubt, for instance, that the starlight reminds 
one of the candle held in hand by the beloved person in the 
nursery at bedtime. . . . 
8. It seems possible permanently to cure sleep-walking and 
noctambulism by means of Freud's psychoanalytic method. 
Every one of these conclusions contains some truth, except 
the statements relative to the moon. 
Sadger regards the influence of the light as a relic from the 
period when the adored adult person (usually the mother) 
approached by candlelight the child's bed. His "moon 
hypothesis" is not without a comical element. A patient 
(woman) relates that the moon has always appealed strongly 
to her imagination. She expected to see human beings in 
the moon. She felt also that she was a different being and 
unlike others. This information does not satisfy Sadger; 
he proceeds to a sexual-symbolic interpretation. 
Sadger also quotes numerous passages from literature, try- 
ing to prove that sleep walking is always due to repressed THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
39 
incestuous wishes. This explanation, which is extremely one- 
sided, may be easily disproven.15 
I shall not deny that incestuous wishes also play a significant 
role in sleep walking. Any forbidden craving may induce 
sleep walking. Thus I knew a grown-up man who wan- 
dered in his sleep and stopped at his mother's bed; also a 
brother whose sleep walking carried him always to one person: 
his sister. A woman patient told me that night after night 
her fifteen-year-old sister tucked the pillow under her arm and 
wandered to her brother's room. At the door she turned 
around and went back to her own room. Homosexual crav- 
ings, entirely unknown in consciousness, are even more often 
expressed through sleep walking. I have had under treatment 
a soldier who wandered in his sleep every night until he 
stopped at his comrade's bed. When I asked him for the 
reason of his sleep walking, he answered, during hypnosis: 
"Because I like it and because I love my comrade!" After 
I woke him from his hypnosis he could not answer the ques- 
tion. He said: "I do not know!" Asked whether he was 
particularly fond of his comrade, all he could say, in the 
waking state, was: "No! I dislike him. It is only a coinci- 
dence that I stopped at his bedside." 
Case 12. A similar transposition of unconscious love into 
conscious dislike is shown by the next case of sleep walking 
which came under my personal observation. A young forester 
was found repeatedly standing in his nightgown at the gate of the 
tenant's house, after all the family had retired for the night. 
The hounds knew him well and did not get alarmed. But when 
he carried out his sleep walking and stood for a long time in 
front of that house one night in spite of a heavy rain he caught 
a serious bronchial cold. I proved later that his strong affection 
for the tenant's daughter was what had driven him to sleep 
walking. In the daytime he did not seem to be concerned about 
the girl at all. He avoided her and to friends he said: "I dislike 
her, she is too proud and stubborn, her limbs are too heavy; 
I do not understand how any man could like her!" He said 
these things to himself, because he was too proud to try to win 
the girl. But at night his desire for the beloved was kindled 
and it impelled him to risk those nocturnal wanderings which  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
40 
came near to costing him his life. The affair ended in his marry- 
ing the girl and the trouble was over. 
The riddle of sleep walking may therefore be readily in- 
terpreted in this sense. It amounts to a "symbolic wander- 
ing" induced by an unknown motive. The subjects are among 
those who have been disillusioned in life, persons in whose 
breast there throbs incessantly the motor of dissatisfaction, 
longing, desire, the craving for revenge or the feeling of 
pride. At night, some lever which holds the motor in check 
during the daytime, turns loose. The motor begins to throb, 
the wheels begin to revolve and the man-machine wanders up 
to dizzy heights, or down into abysmal depths, without the 
knowledge of the machinist's consciousness. 
And the lovely moon? Does it exert a magical influence 
traceable by chemical or physical means? Of course, the 
moon, as the most lovely representative of the star-bedecked 
firmament, fascinates us. Who would not soar above all 
the earthly burdens, leave this old world behind to take refuge 
in a happier realm? During the dream state there awakens 
within us also a longing for the majestic heights, the abode 
of all the good spirits, a craving for the apex of felicity, for 
the divine state. The dreamer is thus impelled to reach on 
and on, higher and higher, farther and farther away from 
the ordinary paths of mankind. He then loses all fear of 
the abysmal depths. His vision contemplates only the majestic 
heights. He knows no dangers, no falling, no earthly weight 
binds him down, no fear, no inhibition holds him back. What 
is there to keep him from reaching the moon? Only the 
space between, a very short space, and he has already traversed 
the first lap thereof. For the dream knows no distance which 
cannot be covered, no depths which cannot be spanned. The 
sleeper's mind reaches towards the divine and down into the 
animal realm; it carries him past all earthly bounds into the 
enchanted region of his wish world. The dreamer's wish 
is what stirs his limbs and opens his blind eyes. In certain 
cases Sadger's "anal" interpretation may prove relevant. But 
I have been unable to corroborate it in my psychoanalytic 
work. The problem should not be treated one-sidedly. THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
The psychology of sleep walking may be very transparent. 
When children wander to their parents' bed, when the sexual 
aim is plainly obvious, the mere knowledge of the facts in 
the case is enough to enable us to trace the respective impulses 
back to their sources. In most instances we then find that 
during the daytime the sleep walkers are unaware of the 
motives which incite them at night. Indeed, as the case last 
quoted shows, the subject may be aware only of dislike or 
repulsion, emotional states which we analysts recognize as 
negatively toned sexual feelings.16 
It is very important for the analyst to know that the most 
serious traumas may occur in dreams, without leaving any 
memory trace during the daytime. Mothers are often unaware 
of having played with their children's genitalia. The facts 
come to light incidentally, as when one of the participants 
happens to feign sleep. It often happens that both participants 
are malingering so as to cover up these unpleasant episodes 
and during the daytime they never refer to what is going 
on at night. These "nocturnal doings" during somnambulic 
states, or under feigned somnambulism, occur much more fre- 
quently than physicians are aware. Such episodes are par- 
ticularly common among brothers and sisters. Consciously 
the brothers and sisters may be on unfriendly terms, perhaps 
over-critical of one another; yet at night they get together 
without ever mentioning their relationship in conversation be- 
tween themselves. It is often difficult to determine to what 
extent this is done in the somnambulic state or whether it is 
a deliberate game. 
The following remarkable case of impotence was easily 
cleared up, after the particulars of a sexual intercourse during 
sleep were uncovered: 
Case 13. Mr. H. L., an attorney, 34 years of age, suffers for 
the past half year from a rare form of impotence. He has been 
married 3 years, and at first was able to carry out sexual inter- 
course without any difficulty. At the beginning of their marital 
relations his wife was completely anesthetic, so that during sexual 
intercourse she remained passive. She became pregnant and 
bore one child. After the birth of the child her attitude changed. 
41  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
42 
She became passionate and began to carry out the well-known 
reflex motions during intercourse. Thereupon his erections 
ceased and he was unable to bring the sexual act to a conclusion. 
The same experience repeated itself a number of times. Each 
time his erection subsided promptly. He requested his wife to 
remain quiet, but this she could not do. At last he gave up all 
attempts because they ended in failure. He came to me for treat- 
ment. After a four-week analysis, a surprising fact was brought 
out which he had theretofore kept from disclosing to me. Be- 
tween the 16th and 18th year he wandered nearly every night 
to his sister's bed. Each time he resolved not to repeat this, 
but unexpectedly found himself again in his sister's bed. That 
is also the way it happened the first time. He had been drinking, 
and without becoming intoxicated, returned home, went to sleep, 
and when he woke up he was in his sister's bed. She, apparently, 
was fast asleep. Unable to resist the temptation, he carried out 
intercourse with the sleeping sister. This happened a number 
of times. If she stirred, he kept very quiet, interrupting his 
attempt at intercourse, or left her bed, because he did not want 
her to wake up and become cognizant of his crime. 
This experience left him with the feeling-attitude which enabled 
him to indulge in intercourse only with sleeping persons or with 
persons who were so quiet during the act as to suggest being 
asleep. In his fantasy it was always his sister with whom he was 
having intercourse. Hence the strange form of his relative im- 
potence. While having intercourse with his wife he thought of 
his sister. When his wife stirred, it seemed as if the sister was 
waking up. 
Complete recovery,-after disclosure of the determinants. 
Whether the sister was asleep or merely pretending sleep I 
was unable to ascertain. Often sleep and noctambulism are 
simulated so as to enable one to indulge in acts on the grat- 
ification-without-responsibility principle. That such incidents 
may be covered up by a complete amnesia is a fact proven 
by the next case, which brings out many other points of great 
interest from a psychological standpoint. 
This case discloses also various other impulsive acts fixated 
by the patient and described by her with great psychologic 
adroitness and with wonderful discernment. Medical litera- THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
43 
ture seldom discloses so exhaustive an account of an unknown 
impulse and of its various metamorphoses. 
Case 14. Mrs. Bertha H., 28 years of age, comes for treat- 
ment on account of depressions and a strange sleep disturbance. 
She always wakes up at 3 o'clock in the morning to go to the 
toilet. Her husband observed that she did this in a somnambulic 
state. She often goes out without the need of doing anything, 
and, opening the door, which is always kept closed, usually leaves 
the door open. Next morning she does not have any recollec- 
tion of having been out of doors and is surprised to find the 
outhouse door open. Since her display of this noctambulism, 
the woman, formerly passionate, shows herself almost completely 
anesthetic during sexual intercourse. She almost attains sexual 
acme, then her thoughts turn compulsively to various other men, 
though she fights off these thoughts, trying to keep the images 
out of her mind. This struggle naturally turns her against the 
consummation of the sexual act. Her husband is not to be de- 
ceived by it, inasmuch as this very passionate woman had pre- 
viously copulated with very vigorous motions of the vaginal 
muscles, which have now more or less subsided. Moreover she 
is depressed. She harbors thoughts of suicide and a guilty con- 
science, for which she herself is unable to trace the reason. The 
trouble started after her husband's six months' absence from 
home, so that the latter began to suspect a breach of marital 
faithfulness and harassed her very much. He also confessed to 
me that on the wedding night he discovered that his wife was 
not virgo intacta. He did not reproach her at the time, for he 
loved her very much, and he reflected: "What do you care about 
the past so long as she is now faithful to you! You yourself 
have not entered this marriage a chaste Joseph." But afterwards 
he did begin to talk about her past, and wanted to know all 
about her previous experiences, though he gave her to understand 
that he would forgive everything. Being very open-hearted she 
had never kept any secrets from him. She swore that she had 
no secrets to keep from him. She told him about her compulsive 
thoughts. Her mind always dwelt on men with whom she had 
danced or who had courted her in former times. An occasional 
kiss was the worst she could acknowledge. Nor was she able 
to give any reason for the change in her attitude. Nothing had 
changed so far as she was concerned. Indeed, she loved her hus- 
band more dearly than ever. PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
44 
I record below the patient's own words, which gave me 
a clear account of her condition at the beginning of the 
analysis. 
"Only now, when I am tortured by a continual restlessness, 
do I know the meaning of peace. Only now do I prize that 
which heretofore I had taken for granted. It is months since 
I have known the meaning of rest. I feel all the time a driving 
force within me, like the whirring of a motor day and night. 
"During my husband's absence I was relatively quiet; I did 
not feel particularly restless. To be sure, I was extremely nerv- 
ous and impatient. I noticed that I was not able to concentrate 
on mental work as well as usual. I was sleepy and often had 
to force myself to carry on my work. I ascribed all that to the 
paralyzingly hot weather we had at the time. In the first place I 
thought that the enforced abstinence was responsible for this 
condition. Sexually I was uncommonly attached to my husband 
and I missed very badly our customary intercourse. I turned 
to day dreaming, anticipating in my mind the coming love indul- 
gences and living over again our past love episodes. My con- 
scious fantasies were concerned only with my husband. But 
gradually other men shifted into my fantasies-a fact which 
became clear to me only afterwards. I noticed that while walk- 
ing on the streets I was extremely self-conscious. At the same 
time I had a lot of walking to do-I was always going on errands 
to the tailor, etc. Apparently I was devising errands for myself 
so as to keep from working. I should have preferred to stay 
at home, for instinctively I felt that while walking the streets I 
indulged in day-dreaming. Once, to my horror, while engaged 
with an attorney on professional matters, I had a feeling which 
reminded me of the sexual acme. First I felt a passing excita- 
tion, then, suddenly, a "coming through," though without any 
pleasurable sensation. Then for the first time I recalled having 
experienced similar sensations other times while walking on the 
streets. I never knew whence it came, nor was there any pleas- 
urable sensation associated with it. I should have suspected 
nothing if a sense of gratifying tension-release had not roused 
me. For the longest time I thought that a slight vaginal catarrh 
was responsible for the wetting of my private parts. I could not 
understand at all why I became suddenly so restless, why I felt 
an excitation in the vagina, and why that terrible sense of help- 
lessness came over me. I wanted to run fast, then walk along THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
45 
very slowly or hastily sit down somewhere. Frequently in that 
state the street car seemed to me a harbor of refuge. I felt 
that it were better if I did not try to walk. 
"Feeling bored, I picked persons on the street and followed 
them, i.e., I held my eyes on them as long as possible, walking 
behind them until our ways parted. I thus followed children 
and women, as well as men. I think I was mostly attracted by 
the gait of the respective person. 
"Shortly before my husband's expected return, I became im- 
measurably nervous. My loneliness was to end, and our beauti- 
ful life together to be resumed at last. Indeed, life was to be 
more beautiful than ever! My husband had earned a neat sum 
and finally our home was to be truly our own. Thus far we 
had not found this possible; in these hard times we had lacked 
the means to establish a home for ourselves. Sometimes I could 
hardly believe that our circumstances were actually turning for 
the better. I was to be comfortable-no longer worry about 
making ends meet with the allowance from my husband. All 
stumbling blocks were suddenly out of my way. Money does 
make one free and independent! Indeed, at first, after I found 
out from my husband that our material situation had so suddenly 
improved, my joy was not unmixed with a certain tone of regret. 
I was almost afraid of our new good fortune. It seemed to me 
I should hardly enjoy spending money without the least need 
of saving. To a certain extent having to save was an exciting 
experience. I hardly cared to be in the position of buying any- 
thing I fancied. It seemed as if all my wishes would then be 
fulfilled and I should have nothing to look forward to with an- 
ticipation. 
"Heretofore my whole life had been one continuous struggle 
against obstacles. Now all that was to be at an end. 
"I trembled at the thought of not attaining the happy reunion 
-afraid lest I meet with a fatal accident or acquire some deadly 
disease. 
"I have a younger brother with whom I haven't kept in touch 
since my marriage. We never got along very well after he 
behaved rather unhandsomely towards my husband; it happened 
that he did not like my fiance and, drawing my own conclusions, 
I broke with him. After that I felt impelled to think often of 
him. Especially while my husband was away, I often thought 
I saw him on the street; of course it was only an error. Only 
once did I actually catch a glimpse of him from a distance as 46 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
he passed by. Thinking of him distressed me because I was 
angry with him and I did not care to know anything about him. 
I considered it disloyal to my husband to indulge in these 
thoughts. 
"There were days when I actually felt guilty towards my hus- 
band. I was much attached to my mother, but, unfortunately, 
our relations were rather strained. Mother lives on her modest 
estate, an hour's distance from Vienna. Father's early death had 
drawn us very closely together. I was everything to her, espe- 
cially as I was the only daughter. Although we were much 
attached to one another, we got on each other's nerves. Why 
that was so I cannot tell. Although we apparently understood 
one another so well and we seemed to have but one heart and 
soul, there were times when her manner of thinking seemed 
entirely foreign to me. I had to restrain myself and deliberately 
master my extreme irritability. She 'got on my nerves,' as the 
popular expression has it. 
"Mother always thought me very handsome and extraordinarily 
attractive. She conceived all sorts of marriage plans for me. 
It had never occurred to her that I might choose my own hus- 
band. Ordinarily I always did only what she wanted me to do. 
She was never going to part from me under any circumstances. 
There was a terrible breach when I became engaged to my 
husband. She did not approve of my step at all. Chiefly, be- 
cause I was to leave her! Nor did she get along with my 
husband. In spite of his efforts to please her, she soon found 
one thing after another about him to criticize. I believe it was 
sheer jealousy because she could not bear to see me love him 
so dearly. Our marriage did not improve the situation very 
much. I spent very little of my time with mother, and I always 
resented her attitude. After my husband's departure, feeling 
lonesome, I visited her more often. She was much friendlier 
with me by far than she had been since my marriage. I felt 
my old love for her awakening again. The old surroundings 
made me feel at home. Sometimes the thought occurred to me 
that perhaps I did hurt mother by my marriage-estranging 
myself from her. To be sure, I myself was very happy, but 
I should have liked to think of her as equally happy. I was 
sorry to see her so old and lonely! Why could I not unite 
mother and husband in my love, as do many of my women 
friends? Why should there be any antagonism between the two 
beloved persons I hold most dear ? THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
47 
"At last my husband came back. The moment of reunion 
was wonderful-the joy at meeting again indescribable. But 
within I was strangely restless. I seemed unable to abandon 
myself full-heartedly to the joy of the occasion. I did not 
know what to say, what to do-now that I had my husband back, 
at last. I hardly listened to him while he told about his ex- 
periences. Everything made me impatient. I should have pre- 
ferred to celebrate at once by a bodily reunion. It seemed to 
me endlessly tiresome to have to wait until night-after having 
waited for so many months for that. I wanted to condense 
everything in a few hours-as if fearsome lest some hindrance 
arise. I felt a vague uneasiness-as if some unseen danger 
threatened. Our first sexual embrace was a disappointment to 
me. My excitement was so tremendous that I was unable to 
attain proper gratification. I was all aflame, inwardly consumed 
with passion, but I failed to reach the usual sweet and blissful 
tension release. We were both passionate, ardent; nevertheless 
I felt a change. I had anticipated too much in my fantasy; I 
had rehearsed our meeting a hundred times in my fancy and 
had done it in such a glowing way that reality failed to come 
up to the fantasy. 
"The following day we went to the mountains with the inten- 
tion of spending a couple of days undisturbed, before my husband 
again took up his affairs. My husband was loving and tender, 
quite like my old sweetheart, perhaps more tender, because during 
the journey he realized how much he loved me. And I ? I found 
myself too indifferent in the face of my happy reunion with him. 
I missed that tremendous sense of happiness which fills one to 
overflowing! Happy I was, but I had expected to experience 
the sensations that my fancy had anticipatively conjured up. I 
looked for a fulfillment of the exuberance of which I had been 
dreaming! The days of our exclusive companionship in the 
mountains failed to fulfill our respective anticipations. At first 
I was very passionate and craved sexual intercourse all the time. 
My enjoyment of it varied, being greater at one time, less at 
another. But it was far from the old exquisitely blissful feeling 
of giving one's self. I could not melt any more! I hoped the 
disturbance would prove a passing one and that I should again 
feel as formerly. The change showed itself in my whole nature. 
I was no longer able to feel the exuberant joy of a few months 
ago. Something was wrong with me. I seemed like a bird 
whose wings had been clipped. I had been formerly so fond PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
48 
of mountaineering with my husband that I insisted this time, too, 
that we should form a climbing party. I did not care for the 
valley. In my longing I turned towards the mountains. But 
as soon as we started on the excursion my enthusiasm fell and 
I could not understand why I had been so persistent about it. 
On reaching the summit I looked in vain for the overpowering 
sensation which I usually perceived on contemplating nature in 
her glorious majesty. I have climbed mountains as others go 
on a pilgrimage. I always expected to find myself on the moun- 
tain tops. 
"My husband was indescribably loving and tender. We might 
have enjoyed a most wonderful honeymoon. It worried me 
immensely to find that I could not be as amorous as I wanted 
to be towards him. Formerly it was my greatest pleasure to 
sleep with my husband; and now, although we went to bed 
together, in the morning I found myself lying on my own bed; 
at any rate, my head would not rest close to his any more. How 
majestic it was formerly to be lying on the open fields with him! 
My head pressed against his breast-and I thought I was in 
paradise! Now that experience was not the same. No matter 
which way I turned, something always seemed to oppress me; 
indeed, even his heartbeat disturbed me! 
"I am such an intense admirer of nature; and yet, somehow, 
I was unable this time to enjoy fully the surrounding natural 
views. 
"My husband commented on my change of disposition, asking 
me what the matter was; but he did not go any further. 
"We returned home. I hoped to get back to the old routine 
of my customary duties. But my hope proved deceptive. My 
condition grew steadily worse. Even towards my little baby 
girl I was wholly changed. I was impatient and harsh with 
her. Little by little I felt how my attitude towards everybody 
changed from what it had formerly been. 
"There was a marked changed also in our sexual relations. 
Often I felt no desire for days; in fact avoided every opportunity 
for indulging in intercourse. Evenings I was usually too sleepy 
to feel any inclination. During intercourse, to my horror, the 
names of young men who had kissed me when I was a girl con- 
tinually crossed my head. I wanted to repel these thoughts but 
that made matters worse. They persisted as compulsive thoughts. 
They interfered with my enjoyment; and on account of these 
compulsive thoughts I dreaded sexual intercourse. My husband THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
49 
was quick to notice this trouble because he is very sensitive and 
the least change in me affects him. Formerly his enjoyment of 
our love episodes had been boundless; now his enjoyment, too, 
was disturbed on my account. But he was patient with me, 
hoping to counteract the trouble with his devotion. 
"My inner unrest grew day by day. I was unable to attend 
to any mental work because I could not concentrate my thoughts. 
I no longer looked at a book because no reading matter could 
hold my interest. Though I had possessed a splendid memory 
formerly, I now forgot everything save what pertained strictly 
to my daily routine. 
"I was cheerless; and at a loss to understand why. 
"On the street I had to fight very strongly against my fantasies. 
I could never plainly make out what I was day-dreaming about. 
I felt as if I were in a trance. At the same time I experienced 
an endless number of orgasms. I had a vague notion that this 
interfered with the enjoyment of my sexual intercourse with 
my husband. I did not care to have orgasms through my fancy 
weaving. But I did not know how to prevent it. Every time 
I went out I was in torture. The moment I left the threshold 
of my house I felt an orgasm coming on. I was afraid to keep 
going because I felt my excitation increasing with every step. 
In my despair I wept while I tried to gather my thoughts. 
Nothing helped-in a short time I had the orgasm. Trying to 
suppress the orgasm proved torturesome. I grew highly excited, 
my whole body trembled and a troublesome restlessness seized 
me. Usually I went out to do shopping, but as soon as I entered 
a store my inner agitation would drive me out again. The onset 
of the orgasm, which I tried to avoid, made it impossible for 
me to remain on one spot for any length of time. Consequently 
I could neither stand nor sit still. I had to move back and 
forth all the time. I could hardly tarry long enough to be waited 
on. In my agitation I reproached the salespeople, if they did not 
display the article I wanted at once. If I went to a number 
of stores, running back and forth, I was able to withhold the 
orgasm for a time; that was as much as I was able to accom- 
plish. But if the orgasm came on in spite of that, it quieted 
me at once, though it depressed me very much at the same 
time. 
"Matters grew gradually worse; I became sexually roused 
as soon as I began preparing to go out; indeed, soon matters 
came to such a pass that I began to feel the sexual excitation  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
50 
the moment I got up from my seat. Finally, every change of 
posture induced an excitation within my vagina so that I did 
not dare get off the chair to walk around in my room. In 
the morning I was afraid to get up because the moment my 
foot touched the floor I felt the indication of an orgasm. Thus 
for me life reduced itself down to a daily torture. I had to 
keep fighting continuously-too weak to master my passion. 
That I hated to go out of the house, for this reason, must be 
obvious. Above all I dreaded walking through the downtown 
district-I had an unexplainable horror of doing so. Before I 
succeeded in suppressing the orgasm I went through a terrible 
ordeal. 
"During that time I had continuously the feeling that some- 
thing in my vagina was pressing to get out. I should have liked 
to push it out so as to have peace because it was physically 
troublesome. I had continual bladder pressure; and thought each 
time that urinating would bring relief, but within a few minutes 
the unpleasant sensation returned. Often this kept up through- 
out the day with but short intermissions. I was in a terrible 
state! Sometimes I felt as if I wanted to urinate all the time- 
as if I had great quantities of water to get rid of. This hap- 
pened sometimes while I was in my husband's arms. At such 
times I felt like running away from him. I had such a guilty 
feeling towards him! Then, again, I would snuggle up to him, 
as if for protection. I seemed so pathetically lonesome and 
abandoned! In my imagination I saw myself on an island, 
isolated by oceans from him as well as from all other human 
beings. No one could come to my aid. At such times I felt 
I was a stranger to my husband-distant from him-because 
he had no inkling of the tortures through which I went-could 
have not even conceived them. The state of my feelings may be 
described, but no one can realize them! 
"In addition to all that, I acquired the habit of losing in- 
numerable things. I walked the streets in such a distracted state 
of mind that either I forgot packages, or dropped them, and 
continued inattentively on my way. This led to quarrels with 
my husband because I lost money in that way. As a consequence 
I am extremely nervous whenever I carry anything with me and 
I look around all the time to make sure that nothing is missing. 
I hardly quiet down, after a brief period of no losses, when again 
I begin to lose things. 
"For the present I am a little better, so far as the orgasms THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
on the street are concerned; but I am never safe; and any day 
the trouble may start again. 
"My marriage, of course, has been much affected by this 
state of mind. My husband cannot help noticing that I am 
avoiding him. He can understand this no better than I. Until 
now our marital relations were supremely happy. The only dis- 
harmony was my mother's attitude, which had caused me no 
end of worry. But now I am longing after my mother. I am 
afraid she may pass away. She is an elderly woman, suffering 
from heart trouble. The thought came to my mind, very lightly 
at first, that perhaps I ought to go to see her. The fact is, I 
am inexpressibly afraid of having to reproach myself if mother 
should pass away. I should like to see her happy. But at the 
same time I am not altogether certain whether I really want 
to go to mother. My husband, who finally noticed my longing 
after her, wanted me to stay with mother for a time. He hoped 
that the change might improve my condition. But this did not 
come to pass; at the last moment I hesitated to go to her. In- 
deed, I was so undecided that I could not make up my mind 
to pack the necessary things for the journey. I myself no longer 
understand my feelings. For instance, I long for mother, to 
go to her, I want to have a good talk with her-perhaps she can 
help me in some way. I arrive at her place, full of expectations. 
But the moment I set my eyes on her a contrary emotion seizes 
me. I then see her with my husband's eyes; I do not care to 
be with her, and want to get back to my own home. I am so 
restless during my whole visit with her that I am unable to 
talk about that which most oppresses my heart. At the moment 
of leaving it is hard for me to part from her. But as soon 
as the door closes behind me I feel as if a burden were off my 
shoulders and I hurry home. I am no sooner back when I feel 
disappointed again-home does not suit me either, after all. 
I want to go back to her. I suddenly seem to know now how 
I should speak and what I would say to her. I find that I was 
not at all cordial with her; I want to take it back. My fantasy 
paints everything differently. I seem unable to accept the facts 
of reality. My mother is not at all cordial towards me. But in 
my fantasy I see her as a tender mother; and I should like to be 
a small child once more and take refuge in her protective arms. 
To forget everything, to be free of all conflicts, to bear no re- 
sponsibilities any further-those are my longings. I picture to 
myself how charming it were if I could again sleep in my girl bed, 
51  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
52 
care-free once more, not knowing what it means to dread the 
dawn of each new day. Sometimes I long to begin life all over 
and would like to be a baby at the breast. If I see a baby sleeping 
in its carriage I envy it and would like to be in its place. Then 
there are days when I dream of being once more a young girl 
just entering life, full of expectations. I should probably have 
a more pleasant girlhood than I have had. I envy the young 
girls for their harmless flirting and preening. 
"I am inexpressibly worried over the change in our marital 
relations. Though my husband loves me most dearly, he has 
come to the conclusion that, under the circumstances, our mar- 
riage relations cannot endure. I cannot make him happy nor 
can he make me happy. The advisability of a separation has 
been brought up between us. Until a few months ago I should 
have considered such an idea unthinkable. But I am unable to 
adopt any decision. When, tortured by unrest, I see how un- 
happy my husband is on account of my illness, I feel that we 
ought to separate so as to avoid a catastrophe. My surmisal 
at such times is that a separation would restore health. But 
my feelings drag me hither and thither. For I love my husband 
dearly, though there are days when my heart seems numb. On 
such days I am not quite so restless; my state of mind, however, 
is none the less painful for that. I cannot bear this apparent 
indifference towards my husband, I want to feel my warm love 
for him, I want to perceive the stream of my affection flowing 
out to him. Therefore I want to hear nothing of a separation. 
I would rather suffer and suffer, trusting to get well through him, 
after all. For me to separate from him would mean a living 
death. Without him I cannot live! cries a voice within me. 
But I cannot live with him, either, testifies my illness. The 
horrible truth is precisely this-that the stream of my affection 
for him is at times suppressed. He is my sun, yet for months 
I have perceived no sunshine. During the fleeting moments when 
I still hope that everything will come out all right, the sun 
shines for me and everything appears to me in a new, an entirely 
different light. But after our petty quarrels everything seems 
drab and gray again. I see myself unhappy for the rest of my 
life-forlorn, deprived of his affection and of everything that 
makes life worth while. Indeed, I identify myself with some 
poor tattered woman I meet on the street; in my imagination 
I am as miserable as she is, and I feel myself drifting towards 
the path that leads straight to perdition. THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
"Some time ago I again gave up visiting my mother. There 
is no other way for me to avoid the horrible experiences I 
go through there. Her attitude towards my husband angers 
me more and more. I have to acknowledge that she is brutally 
selfish. But my affection for her is not easily stilled. My con- 
trary feelings, for and against her, play ducks and drakes with 
me. Indeed, her harsh feelings and lack of understanding once 
drove me so mad that in my pain and anguish I forgot every 
consideration and was ready to strike her. The maid servant 
happened to step in at the critical moment; and that probably 
prevented me from perpetrating some awful deed. If I manage 
to control myself in her presence the storm of my rage is likely 
to break out after I get home. In my impotent rage I hold 
myself in check so as not to tear or break something. At such 
times I am ready to smash quantities of glass or porcelain ware. 
I believe that what angered me most was the thought of being 
so dependent on her; and I should have liked to tear myself 
to pieces-to beat to death that second self of mine. 
"At night, too, I am quarreling with my mother. Often I 
strangle her in my dreams, after reproaching her for all the 
suffering she has caused me through her selfishness. My dreams 
have been very troublesome of late. Formerly, I was at least 
quiet during sleep; now even that is over. Night after night 
I am troubled by recurring dreams which, unfortunately, I 
do not recall on awakening. It seems that I am always over- 
powered, after a terrific resistance in a struggle, and I shed 
bitter tears because something horrible is happening to me. 
"Besides, I awake usually at half-past four, or at a quarter of 
five in the morning with an uncomfortable feeling, and often 
my heart beats so fast that I cannot fall asleep again. And the 
strange thing is that my husband, who is very telepathic, also 
wakes up at that hour with a similar feeling of anxiety. Some- 
times it happens that I wake up as early as three o'clock. These 
two times alternate. I find it most unpleasant always to have 
to go out to the toilet at that hour. And how shall I explain 
to myself the fact that for the past few days I become restless 
always at the same afternoon hour ? First I have to fight against 
a strong sense of fatigue; drowsiness almost overwhelms me. 
I hold myself up by sheer concentration, but I cannot sit still, 
and I begin to pace the floor in my room, my heart palpitating. 
I feel like crying. I want to get busy, I want to shake off this 
feeling, and I take up one thing or another, but I cannot con- 
53  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
54 
centrate on anything. I am stirred by all sorts of appetites, 
and I actually feel better after eating something. 
"This is another thing which troubles me very much since my 
illness-this insatiable appetite. I want to gorge all the time; 
I feel decidedly better after I eat. Of course, this is variable; 
there are times when I cannot eat at all, when the thought of 
food repels me. My appetite keeps in tune with my mood; 
when I am depressed and feel no joy in living, nothing appeals 
to my taste. On the other hand, frequently I gorge, as I do 
now, through sheer despair. Plainly, I should find life unen- 
durable if I did not enjoy eating to some extent. It is sad that 
things have come to such a pass with me that nothing appeals 
to me but the pleasures of the palate. At the same time I do 
not particularly enjoy the food nor do I crave special dishes. 
No, the act of gorging in itself is my satisfaction. While I eat 
I am relatively quiet; therefore I eat many times through the 
day, often taking only a little food at a time. Along with this 
enormous appetite I have often an unquenchable thirst. Then 
I drink and drink. Although I am ordinarily very abstemious, 
at such times I feel a strong craving for alcohol to which I 
yield but moderately. Again, at times I feel an aversion against 
all alcoholic drinks and partake only of large quantities of milk. 
"After the meal I feel impelled to go to the kitchen (which I 
share with my landlady, as we do not yet have a home of our 
own) to look the pots over for food remnants, and I scratch 
off the scraps. I am ashamed of this childish act and yet I 
cannot desist. This habit I also had when I was a child. 
"I could fill the whole day with purely animal gratifications. 
"Although my dreams are not pleasant I am impatient for 
the night so as to crawl to bed. Sleep relieves me at least partly 
of the struggles and tortures through which I go during the day. 
In addition to everything else I suffer from drowsiness, which 
at times I can hardly shake off. For a few moments I sink 
into another world. Occasionally I catch a glimpse of some 
thought which makes me wonder how far I must have wandered 
from reality. Some trifling incident from my childhood looms 
up in my mind. This state of mind is almost like a self-induced 
hypnosis. I feel myself growing helpless and sinking into a 
drowse. Paralysis steals over me. When I pull myself out of 
that drowsiness with an effort all I catch a glimpse of usually 
is unconnected stuff. 
"Towards my most favorite amusements, theatre and concerts, THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
55 
I have become averse for this reason. While I sit there quietly, 
my attention is hardly ever engaged so that I must struggle con- 
tinuously against drowsiness. 
"It is most painful because I am afraid also that my husband, 
who always worries over my absent-mindedness, may notice it. 
At the same time all sorts of foolish notions come into my mind. 
For instance, I want suddenly to jump upon the stage and snatch 
the instrument out of the artist's hand, or I feel like turning 
upon the attentively listening audience (I am insane, I must have 
done this or that!) with curses; I mean to shock them. In my 
fantasy I am often at a church, where I likewise feel impelled 
to rush to the altar and call the public names. ('I am a 
Jewess.') Dear Doctor, I can hardly describe to you all my 
tortures. Lately, whenever I go into a strange toilet room or 
telephone booth I have to look around to make sure of being 
able to get out again. With palpitating heart I actually test the 
door, turning the knob to make sure that the door is open. 
"I cannot sit near another person in the electric car-every- 
thing makes me nervous. Since my feelings are so irresolute 
and I do not know whether to go to mother, or stay with my 
husband, I feel an aversion against the whole male sex. I cannot 
live without love; were I to lose my husband, who is my support, 
I should feel myself a prey to horrible uncertainty. Every 
other man, so to speak, would seem to me a possible danger. 
Any one of them might take advantage of my situation. 
"In this painful restlessness which drives me to crave some 
means of stupefaction I am capable of almost anything. 
"Everything evil which has heretofore slumbered in my soul 
comes to life. The Pandora box of troubles is open. 
"I am punctiliously honest, nevertheless in this state, under 
certain circumstances, I could steal. When I pass by a fruit 
store I feel an overwhelming desire to help myself to some of 
the fruit, at least to touch it, and I want to taste all eatables 
whenever possible. Recently I lost a pretty bracelet, a gift from 
my husband. We both regretted this loss very much. At the 
bureau of 'lost and found' articles where I was shown all the 
jewels held for their rightful claimants I looked in vain for my 
bracelet; but I could not make up my mind to leave. I stood 
before the glass enclosure where the articles were held for in- 
spection wondering how I could take something, although I did 
not particularly care for any of the articles. But I did not 
want to return home empty-handed. PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
56 
"A few days ago I went one morning into my little girl's room 
and found her still sleeping, with her breast exposed. Imme- 
diately the horrible thought struck me of sticking a knife into 
her bare little breast. My despair over this awful notion can 
hardly be described. The little one seems to be in my way. 
I am too busy with myself. Also, I find her a millstone. I 
seem unable to maintain the responsibilities and duties which I 
bear towards her. 
"There is always something strange I want to do. Often, 
while I am alone in the room with a woman whom I like, I 
feel a sudden impulsion to rush upon her. Precisely what I 
am about to do that for I do not quite know. I want to be a 
man, able to rouse her to a sexual frenzy. Then, too, when 
I see on the street a woman who attracts me, I feel a similar 
impulsion. Since, though I am no longer able to enjoy, I still 
yearn after sexual gratification; I crave to set aflame every hand- 
some woman so as to attain gratification in this manner. In- 
deed, often I reflect how my husband could transport this or 
that woman into ecstasy with his art of love. Then I envy 
the fortunate woman. 
"Is it not insanity that in my fantasy I should cause others 
to find gratification, that I should want to set others aflame, while 
I am unable to kindle the fires of love within myself? 
"I have grown envious, begrudging others their satisfaction 
and happiness. Every girl, and every woman whom I see I envy, 
without knowing whether she is actually to be envied. I imagine 
that every one of them is capable of enjoying life better than 
I, and is enjoying everything that life permits. Indeed, I envy 
the wife of the proletarian when I see her happily going about 
her humble duties. Every one who does physical labor rouses 
my envy. I no longer yearn for happiness, all I want is quiet, 
for I am unable to bear this agitation, this inner unrest of mine, 
any longer. I cannot stay in the house, yet if I go out, I hurry 
back home. There were days when I went to mother, hoping 
to find peace-but my inner agitation drove me away from 
her; I went to my husband's office, but there, too, 1 did not 
find what I was searching for. It seems to me I am destined 
to roam forever. But whither? I want to go away, far away- 
I should like to get away from myself. That is precisely what 
makes me so very sad: wherever I go I drag my pack of troubles 
along with me. That something which drives within me is 
making me furious. I feel unable to fight against it and help- THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
less. I am like a heavy plank carried down a tempestuous 
stream. This thought-that there is no place on earth for me 
where I might find peace-is unbearable; it completely be- 
wilders me. 
"I always feel myself under the driving force of an impulse 
and, not knowing whither it drives me, I am afraid. Everything 
within my mind seems topsy-turvy-like a machine in which a 
screw is missing. I have become harsh and selfish, thinking 
only about myself. Even my husband's suffering sometimes 
hardly touches me. But I am driven to despair whenever I 
realize how unhappy he must be on my account. I am con- 
tinually thinking of suicide because I see no other way out of 
this misery. With things in such a turmoil in my mind, one 
thought following another, I feel like ending it all. I want 
to rush to the window and jump through. Indeed, at times I 
feel almost an uncontrollable impulsion to jump into the river. 
Continually such pictures flit across my brain and my impulse 
is to act. I wake up in the night and see myself plunging into 
the river. At the same time I have a horror of the water. 
The thought of death particularly terrifies me. 
"I feel the cold terribly. Even my mouth sometimes gets as 
cold as ice, so that for me the cold is actually painful. At the 
same time I always think of suicide whenever I am numb with 
cold. If my husband kisses me at such times and is shocked, 
the thought at once flits through my mind: 'Jump through the 
window!' If I happen to be out of doors the thought of the 
river flits across my mind. 
"On the street I dodge cars, automobiles and carriages only 
at the last moment. I seem to court the danger of being run 
over. Then I may attain inner peace at last. 
"Is that not dreadful? Always, always, some awful impulse 
drives me. Just at present I feel myself tied to my husband, 
and I cannot get away from myself. Sometimes I would like 
to throw myself at his feet, to beg his forgiveness for all the 
worries I have caused him, and to overwhelm him with tender- 
nesses. But I cannot do it, I seem empty within, and to be 
moving about like an automatic machine without any inner life. 
"Being so restless at home, I always seek errands. When I 
am very badly depressed, frequently it happens that I give in 
to a sudden impulse and purchase something which but a short 
time before I hesitated to buy. I spend more money than I 
ever did in my life and I can buy handsome clothes for myself, 
57 58 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
But I perceive pleasure only at the moment when I make the 
purchase, afterwards everything leaves me indifferent. 
"I should like to go far away and find peace. I have enter- 
tained already the most foolish notions. I wanted to go to the 
United States as a teacher. I wanted to join a sanitarium in 
Germany. I wanted to go as bookkeeper to France. But, then, 
I feel that a thousand chains bind me to my husband. I could 
not leave him, though I feel myself unworthy to share his happi- 
ness. An evil spirit drives me restlessly from place to place and 
pursues me even in my sleep. 
"I want to be busy, very busy, so as to have no time for 
reflecting. I want my work to keep me so busy that I should 
have no time to think of anything else. But what is actually 
my attitude towards work? I avoid all mental effort, turning 
preferably to house work because that cannot be done standing 
still, although frequently I feel too indolent. 
"There is no project, no matter how impractical it may be, 
which I do not seize at once, to weave all my plans around it. 
Every half-friendly acquaintance, whether man or woman, I 
look upon as a possible saviour, as some one who might help 
me, in some way or other. Ah, how many such castles in the 
air have I not built already, only to see them resolve into noth- 
ingness! I search and wander around, while I have all the 
time at my side, and close to me, the one man who really cares 
for me and who wants only my welfare. When I think of the 
possibility of losing him, I shudder. Then I am truly afraid 
I should never find peace again, afraid I should turn into a 
genuine Ahasuerus, searching for the lost lover. If I could but 
feel what I felt only a few months ago! That noble feeling is 
what I want to reexperience! Without the ennobling emotion 
of love I cannot live. Will you help me, dear doctor, can you 
restore me to life, can you restore me to my husband? My 
powers are at an end; I am weary of struggling; I have set my 
hopes on you." 
Here ends this touching document which gives us a clear 
insight into the nature of impulsive acts. We have here the 
wandering mania, the noctambulism, the restlessness, the buy- 
ing mania, the food and drink mania-impulses which seemed 
unquenchable and which continually recurred. The woman 
was in despair, particularly over her orgasms, which appeared 
on every motion, especially on walking through the streets. THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
59 
She experienced sexual acme whenever she walked behind 
any young men with whom her fantasy was preoccupied, even 
though she was unaware of her fantasies. The day-time pol- 
lutions took place while she was in a dreamy state. Every 
step caused her sexual excitation. Getting up from the chair 
where she was sitting was enough to bring it about. The 
more she struggled against this state, the worse it grew. She 
recognized that the excitations during walking prevented her 
from experiencing orgasm during sexual intercourse. For 
that reason she resolved to yield no longer. At the begin- 
ning of the analysis she learned that her fantasies were re- 
sponsible. Therefore she guarded herself, indulged in fan- 
tasies no longer, and watched no more the young men on the 
street; but in spite of all these precautions she continued to be 
passionate while on the street, and it drove her to despair. 
If she tried relief through masturbation she achieved orgasm 
as little as during the sexual embrace with her strongly potent 
husband, whose refined tenderness formerly she much longed 
for, and greatly enjoyed. Nor was she able to account for 
her nocturnal sleep-walking. 
In the course of the analysis there revealed itself a strong 
fixation on the younger brother with whom she had nothing 
to do because he did not appreciate her husband. Her brother, 
who had been away from Vienna for a long time, returned 
to the city while her husband was away. She met him once 
on the street and exchanged a few cool words with him. 
While I surmised that something had happened between 
them I had no proof to substantiate this assumption. It is a 
fact of great interest to the psychoanalyst that the amnesia 
covering somnambulic states is but seldom overcome through 
analysis. Patients suffering from somnambulism have the 
peculiarity of falling into a sort of drowsy state during the 
analysis. Thus, this patient, too, said one day: 
"I don't know what the matter may be with me. I could 
fall asleep at once." 
I utilized this situation to induce a hypnotic sleep. She did 
not reach a deep cataleptic state, but attained merely that 
drowsiness which Frenchmen call engourdissement. In this 
dreamy state I requested her to tell me the pictures she saw 60 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
when she went through her sleep-walking at three o'clock in 
the morning. She told me that as a girl she went once to 
her brother at this hour. She described a passionate con- 
gresses sexualis. Afterwards she went frequently to the out- 
house, leaving the door open deliberately in the hope of being 
surprised there by her brother. The going to the toilet room 
was her mute invitation to her brother to come to her. As 
a girl she was frequently surprised mornings to find the door 
to her room unlocked. With her brother she did not get along 
well at all during the daytime. Often they did not speak for 
weeks. He was very discourteous towards her fiance and that 
often led to quarrels. After the marriage ceremony, which 
the brother did not attend, he turned reckless, began to drink, 
and for a time was interned at a sanitarium for inebriates, 
where he took the drink cure. Since then he is wholly im- 
potent. 
The sleep-walking and the street orgasm were thus ex- 
plained. She continually rehearsed the episode with the 
brother, the intention being thus to confess the experience 
to her husband. The boys on the street, whose presence in- 
duced the orgasm, resembled her brother in stature. The 
meeting of the brother on the street during the period of her 
sexual abstinence-before that time she had intercourse with 
her husband nightly, often several times during the night- 
led to a sort of regression. At the same time her uneasy con- 
science was roused. During the sexual embrace a voice ad- 
monished her: "Thou shalt not indulge!"■-and, instead of her 
brother, there came to her mind, as substitutes, the images 
of the young men who had once kissed her. She even con- 
fessed to me that during the first nights, upon her husband's 
return, she had seen her brother standing at the head of the 
bed, threatening with his raised arm and forbidding the in- 
dulgence. Presently this hallucinatory picture vanished only 
to be displaced by the images of other boys. It is interesting 
that the image of her grown-up brother never came to her. 
He is to-day an adult man with a heavy growth of beard. 
On the street she was roused sensually only by smooth-shaven 
boys who reminded her of the brother as a younger man. 
The sleep-walking was thus cleared up. At one time going THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
61 
to the toilet was but a pretense; she went out to the toilet 
room and, on the way back, to her brother. Now she repeats 
this episode every night in order to cancel it. She goes out 
"without doing anything." She is harassed not by her crav- 
ing alone: her guilty conscience gives her no respite. 
In her account the patient shifts her mother complex into 
the background and at the same time she touches but lightly 
upon her brother complex. It developed that the brother was 
a substitute for her mother. He was to her a part of the 
person whom she loved more than anybody in the world- 
before she fell in love with her husband. Her parapathy was 
built upon a bisexual basis. The mother represented the ob- 
jective of all her homosexual cravings, whereas the brother 
became the representative of her own youth, of her family 
and of her heterosexual objective. But during the analysis 
her mother complex receded steadily to the background, 
whereas the significance of the brother and of her relations 
to him advanced more and more to the foreground. 
We thus find out the reason why she was not virgo intact a 
on the wedding night. After this matter was cleared up she 
did not want to keep the long-preserved secret to herself any 
longer. She decided to tell her husband. He was considerate 
enough to forgive her and to soothe her. After the confession 
she wanted to commit suicide. Fortunately she did not carry 
out this design. The trouble disappeared as it had come-her 
nocturnal somnambulism ceased. 
This case shows us the after-effect of an experience and 
how it impels to repetition. The next case discloses a clear 
picture of a repetitive compulsion during the sleep-walking 
state. 
Case 15. Lee., a hysterical woman, 25 years of age, who had 
suffered once before from hysterical chorea, discovers one day 
that her lover was intimate with a girl of her acquaintance. 
That fills her with jealousy and prompts her to plan revenge. 
She calculates day and night how best to avenge herself and 
in her mind conjures up all the details of this dramatic episode. 
She decides to kill her rival in the lover's arms and to escape 
punishment by committing suicide. The thought pursues her, 
growing stronger, until it impels her to act. One day she hides 62 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
under a window. The lover drives by in her rival's company. 
She aims two revolver shots at them, then runs off and throws 
herself into the river. 
Fortunately she did not injure anybody. She herself was 
dragged out of the river in a faint, and taken to the Salpetriere, 
where she was placed under Raymond's observation. 
There she presents the following picture: On the slightest 
provocation, as when another woman patient talks to a man, 
or if she looks out of the window into the court, or if she is 
spoken to, she gets bewildered, ceases to talk, and her eyes stare 
with a faraway gaze. She walks up to the nearest drawer and 
goes through the motions of picking up an object which she holds 
in her right hand; approaching the window she looks angrily 
into the courtyard, stretches her right arm and goes through 
the motion of discharging a revolver. Then, with an outcry, she 
runs through the length of the hall, finally throwing herself to 
the floor, where she remains, motionless, in a faint. In other 
words: she repeats anew the episode, but this time without ex- 
ternal reality, only in her fantasy, going through the attempt 
at murder and suicide. (Janet, Obsessions et Psychasthenie, 
Vol. I, p. 107. 
We see how complicated the picture of somnambulism may 
be. We always find the motives to be multiple and the im- 
pulses correspondingly varying. In the last case the wish, 
obviously, was to aim better at the rival and to carry out 
the suicide successfully. In every case of sleep-walking we 
must think of the repetition compulsion and bear in mind that 
the strongest impulses emanate from unfulfilled wishes. The 
latter are usually responsible for the most persistent impul- 
sions. They may be apparently at rest, but only gather new 
energy in order suddenly to overwhelm the subject, impelling 
him to carry out some impulsive symbolic action. 
We have already spoken about the wanderings during states 
of drowsiness. We must now turn our attention to the two 
other forms of the wandering mania, the centrifugal (fugues) 
and the centripetal (dromomania). The so-called fugues 
("flight from home") disclose an interesting psychologic mo- 
tivation. One runs away from oneself, or from a danger; 
or one may run away in order to avoid crime. One flees THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
63 
from one's cravings by transposing them into the impulse 
to wander. The transvaluation of the impulses furnishes us 
the key to the understanding of the fugues. Besides dipso- 
mania and bulimia, or other substitutive impulses, which, as 
already mentioned, I have very often found associated with 
the fugues, we find frequently also a craving for wild sexual 
license. 
Case 16. Robert G., engineer, 40 years of age, comes for 
treatment, complaining that for the past two years he has been 
impotent with his wife. He married during a love spree and 
now he finds that he has chosen badly and that he does not have 
the right companion. They have no spiritual interests in com- 
mon. He is at a loss for a topic of conversation with his wife. 
If he is with her alone in the house he grows restless. Suddenly 
he runs away and usually he wanders around for about an hour, 
until he gets very tired, then he goes to a bar and drinks to in- 
toxication. Next morning he returns home drunk. 
Analysis discloses that he is a paedophiliac and that he 
was attracted to marry his wife because her appearance is 
very infantile. Since the birth of the first child he lost his 
affection for the wife, having transferred his love to the child. 
The older the children grow (they are 9 and 7 years of age, 
respectively, at this time) the stronger grows also his sexual 
lusting after them. He regards his wife as a "kill-joy." If 
she were not around he could hardly control his cravings. 
His wife admonished him not to be so over-tender with the 
children. He does not dare to fondle them. He hates his 
wife. The dreams disclose fantasies of putting her out of 
the way. He is aware of these death wishes. Therefore he 
runs out of the house in order not to become a criminal, and 
drowns his impulse in alcohol. 
Very similar is the next case: 
Case 17. Hans D., physician, 38 years of age, married, leaves 
home one day for a prolonged excursion on foot. He himself 
had no inkling of this on the previous day and no time to 
find a substitute for his practice. He merely tells his wife that 
he feels very nervous and that he must leave at once, otherwise 64 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
he will become insane. He runs around the whole day and tires 
himself out so that he crawls to bed half dead with fatigue. 
He does not particularly enjoy this excursion because he stops 
nowhere, being unable to rest. As soon as he scales one moun- 
tain height, he thinks of the next trip or the next point of 
destination, always driven by the fear of not completing his 
itinerary, of failing to get through. Occasionally he suffers from 
morbid hunger (bulimia), which can hardly be stilled; then for 
several days he feels an aversion for all food and there is a pasty 
taste in his mouth. Gradually sleeplessness also sets in. He 
returns, but finds himself unable to work, and all sorts of mor- 
bid dreads bring him to me. Analysis discloses fixation on his 
sister-in-law, who has been sharing his home for some time. 
Little by little the two became intimate. One evening, while 
kissing her passionately, he had an erection. She touched him 
around the genitalia. Next morning he fled in order to save 
his moral self. (He is a devout Catholic.) 
The incest wish is sometimes masked under the cover of 
hatred. Apparently the hatred leads to the flight, whereas 
in truth it is the opposite force lurking back of the hatred. 
Janet is well familiar with the motivation of the fugues, 
as the following statement shows: 
"Sometimes the neuropath, unable to live in close proximity 
to his enemy, drives the latter out of the house, like Ew., 
who cannot tolerate his daughter's presence and banishes her 
for months to stay away from home. When he does not 
succeed in driving away the objective of his hatred, the neuro- 
path himself flees from the house. That is a form of fugue, 
which is rarely understood in its true light. Oy., a woman 
of fifty years, keeps house for her son and his wife and tries 
to domineer him; finding that she does not succeed, she runs 
away suddenly without disclosing her intention to anybody. "I 
cannot stand the sight of them any longer, I despise them too 
much, I would have surely killed both." 17 "I cannot stand 
my wife any longer," Neb. states, identically, "she angers me 
too much"-and he takes refuge in flight. Ya. runs away 
from home and is found only three days later by her dis- 
tracted husband. She despises her husband too much, also the 
children, and the whole surroundings. The Px. case is typi- THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
65 
cal: this 37-year-old woman who lived with her mother and 
her sister ruled despotically the whole household. She is ob- 
sessed with affection for her sister; she not only loves her 
passionately but craves counter-love, and is also immeasurably 
jealous. Once in a while the sister resists her in order to 
maintain a semblance of independence. Thereupon she grows 
tremendously agitated and manifests delusions of persecution, 
which in reality betray nothing less than her compulsive hatred 
of the sister. She felt she must leave the house. "I felt 
that I was no longer running the house, I was made to do 
things which were repulsive to me; I began to see red and 
knew that I had to run away from myself." 
Janet records about 20 cases showing delusions of per- 
secution arising out of morbid love and the craving to domi- 
neer. The case quoted above shows clearly that the paranoid 
paralogy had its roots in the subject's homosexual feeling- 
attitude towards her sister. 
The transformation of love into hatred on account of 
jealousy and the development of the criminal feeling-attitude 
as the next consequence is a process which I have carefully 
analyzed in my Anxiety States (chapter on Jealousy). Here 
I want to call attention only to Janet's interesting observation 
that parents who are passionately fond of their children while 
the latter are very young usually transpose their love into 
hatred after the 15th year, so that the children formerly 
treated with excessive tenderness are often compelled to leave 
the home. The motive is jealousy. The children grow self- 
reliant; they begin to show a will of their own; they acquire 
other friends and ideals; the parents, in love with them, can- 
not tolerate this and become jealous, though they cover their 
jealousy under all sorts of rationalizations; they begin to find 
fault, to criticize and scold, etc. 
Jealousy is one of the most important determinants respon- 
sible for the centrifugal fugues, especially when this passion 
becomes so strong as to rouse the impulsion to crime. Some- 
times the psychopaths must abandon their home because they 
are unable to endure the conditions under which they live any 
longer or because they feel prompted to commit some das- 
tardly deed. 66 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
Case 18. Emil R., a 19-year-old sculptor from Frankfurt, one 
day leaves his parental home and journeys to Vienna without 
knowing the reason for his precipitate flight. Here he lives with 
an aunt, who, struck by his changed demeanor and his sleepless- 
ness, brings him to me. In the course of the brief analysis of 
his mental condition I find out that his sister, on whom he leans 
affectionately, has become engaged and that he dislikes his future 
brother-in-law. At the last target practice he had thought of 
shooting him. But of the motive of his flight, as already men- 
tioned, he was wholly unaware. 
Rationalizations are always eagerly sought to explain, or 
serve as pretext for, the wandering impulse, and easily found. 
One is tired, important affairs call, or one resolves to study 
abroad, etc. Sometimes these motivations are extremely 
threadbare. Fathers and brothers often find themselves com- 
pelled to undertake such journeys just before the marriage 
of some favourite member of the family, and thus absent 
themselves from the ceremony. The behaviour of these "run- 
aways" on their journey gives some inkling of their impelling 
motives. 
Case 19. Georg F., 56 years of age, uniformly withholds his 
consent whenever his daughter has a marriage offer. No man 
quite meets his high expectations. After he had thus repulsed 
a number of very good marriage offers, on all sorts of pretexts, 
his daughter took matters in her own hands; she became engaged 
without consulting her father and asked for his consent after- 
wards. The daughter disposed of her father's renewed objection 
by declaring that she was already her fiance's sweetheart. Great 
quarrel between father and son-in-law! The marriage ceremony 
was set for a near date, since haste seemed necessary. More- 
over, the father might have well been content with his daughter's 
choice. The man, wealthy and prominent, really loved the girl; 
he resorted to this means only because he saw that there was no 
other way for him to attain his aim. 
The father decides on the date for the ceremony; during the 
interim he does not speak a word to his daughter, whom he 
considers a degenerate creature, although he is otherwise quite 
liberal in his views. Incidentally, in spite of these liberal views, 
which were with him, as they are in many instances, mere THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
67 
theorems, he had never been unfaithful to his wife. A few days 
preceding the marriage ceremony he finds that he has to go on 
a pressing business journey which might have been postponed and 
leaves in great haste. 
On the journey he shows a great change. He starts to make 
himself look younger-shaves off his beautiful grey beard, be- 
comes rather adventuresome, drinks a little beyond his thirst re- 
quirements, and begins to pay attention to the chambermaids and 
waitresses. After getting through with his business mission 
he continues on his journey, happy to be, for once, carefree. 
Finally, the inevitable happens. He breaks his marital vows- 
and does this, specifically, on his daughter's marriage day. Ac- 
costing a girl on the street, he takes her to his hotel room, where 
he, too, celebrates a sort of nuptial spree, which, however, was 
to cost him dearly, inasmuch as he acquired a syphilitic infection 
which led him to suffer from tabophobia; the latter trouble is 
what brought him to my office. 
Hilda Milko records the following experiences, typical of 
the centrifugal wandering mania, which she obtained from the 
analysis of a case she treated under my supervision. 
Case 20. Anna H., 15 years of age, is brought to Dr. Stekel 
by her parents for advice. The girl ran away from home with 
another schoolgirl 14 days ago. After 8 days she returned 
because her money gave out. The parents are afraid of a repe- 
tition of the offence and would like to know what to do to pre- 
vent another runaway. 
Anna, a strikingly pretty, well-developed girl, with dreamy 
features, is turned over to me for observation. She talks with 
considerable resistance and displays a stubborn character. She 
complains of frequent stubborn headaches and dizziness. Ques- 
tioned about the reasons for her running away, she declares that 
she does not quite know what drove her to do it. At home she 
is very unhappy; she does not get along with the mother, who 
is always dissatisfied with her. The breach between her aims, 
or expectations, and the environment in which she lives causes 
her much suffering. Her father is a humble workman, but, in 
contrast to the mother, he is, at least, capable of appreciating 
higher things. 
The thought of running away came to her quite suddenly. 
She talked it over with a school comrade who also wanted to 68 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
get away from home. She sold some of the trinkets which be- 
longed to her. With the proceeds they started for Berlin. As 
they had no passport, they crossed the frontier afoot. For the 
same reason they had to go from hotel to hotel in Berlin. Their 
intention was to look for a job, but meanwhile their funds gave 
out. They then wired to the worried parents, who at once sent 
them the money for their return. It was remarkable that the 
police, informed by the distracted parents, were unable to find a 
trace of the runaways. 
Since her return she is unable to fit herself at all into the 
home surroundings. She is watched by the parents at every 
step, because they are afraid she will enact another escapade. 
She is slightly inclined to depressions. Her craving for affec- 
tion is boundless and she yearns to know the meaning of love. 
She asks me various questions about sex inasmuch as some 
things baffle her. 
The analysis proceeds under strong resistances. The 
dream material reveals her strong fixation on the father. 
We must look to that for the flight motive. She fled 
from her father, from her perilous feeling-attitude towards 
him. She denies that, claiming not to have been aware of 
anything of the kind. She was merely dissatisfied with her 
mother's way of treating her father-she herself would know 
better how to handle him. 
When the incestuous thoughts were revealed, the patient 
abandoned the analysis, so that, unfortunately, I am not in 
a position to give a deeper account of this case. 
We now turn our attention to the interesting centripetal 
wandering, the "flight back home" (dromomania). This is 
the form best known since the olden times, because it was 
conveniently easy to designate homesickness, or nostalgia, as 
the motive for this form of the wandering mania. In Europe 
the touching story about the Swiss soldiers' nostalgia while 
away from home is well known. These soldiers when they 
heard the bellowing of the cows were seized by such an irre- 
sistible longing that they deserted and ran home. Dromo- 
mania as an expression of longing for home is perhaps the 
best known form of impulsive wandering, inasmuch as the THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
69 
psychiatric examination of deserters has been frequently a 
matter of legal interest. The question whether nostalgia (as 
the longing for home is called) may lead to crime has been 
brought up by a number of physicians and variously answered. 
Jaspers, in his masterly study, Heimweh und Verbrechen (H. 
Gross's Archiv, vol. XXXV, 1909), has surveyed the whole 
literature on the subject and has added interesting observa- 
tions of his own. Even some of the older investigators had 
observed that through their longing for home many servant 
girls turned pyromaniacs, or killed the children entrusted 
to their care. The motive seems puerile and illogical, inasmuch 
as the deed leads them not to their longed-for objective, the 
parental home, but to jail. Nevertheless it is a fact that many 
juvenile firebrands and child slayers indicate as the motive 
for their acts the longing for home, or for their own family. 
Jaspers next gives an excellent description of morbid nos- 
talgia, emphasizing the advanced emotional disturbance of 
the female offenders of this category, both preceding and 
following the offence. The longing for home is accompanied 
by feelings of anxiety which may become so strong as to 
interfere with clear reasoning. Many writers believe that 
the anxiety is the cause of setting fires, the victims of the 
anxiety intending thus to overcome the inner dread by a 
conflagration. This view is untenable. (Later we shall dwell 
at length on the cryptic, sexual motives of arson.) Gross 
maintains that the nostalgiacs want to fight the inner depres- 
sion with a powerful sensorial stimulus. "Either they burn 
the house, or they slay somebody; in other words, they seek 
an explosion-like release." Jaspers points out that the irre- 
sistible longing for the parents, and the thought of bringing 
about the return home by this means becomes the dominating 
idea, obscuring all other motives, and that all mental images 
are rendered subservient to this one intent. He thus recog- 
nizes the supremacy of a dominating (fixed) idea. 
But what is that idee fixe? Is it actually the love of nature, 
as is assumed in the case of mountaineers, or the love of 
the family ? Is there, here too, a connection to be found with 
sex? We must bear in mind that most arsons and child 
murders are committed by female offenders during their period  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
70 
of adolescence. The offenders are mostly individuals between 
12 and 15 years of age showing distinct organic and psycho- 
sexual infantilism. 
Schlegel18 recognizes fairly clearly the true cause: fixation 
on the family and on infantile impressions. He states: "The 
love of home has its earliest roots in the first impressions and 
memories of childhood. For that reason human beings show 
also in later life, often without knowing it, a preference for 
whatever first appealed to them." 
We analysts have learned that the first fixation on the 
parents and the family is sexual and that the early memories 
of the unforgettable happy childhood days may persist as the 
driving motive throughout one's whole life. 
I refer to Cohnheim's theory of cancer; according to this 
hypothesis the morbid growth is due to a mobilization of 
embryonal cells. There are also embryonal impulse cells. 
These remain encapsulated, until some day a combination of 
external as well as internal causes bring about their reacti- 
vation and mobilization. Such impulses-as we have already 
seen-become so transformed and metamorphosed that their 
origin is hardly recognizable. The longing for home is a 
longing for the infantile gratification which was enjoyed 
within the family circle; while criminality is a primordial, 
embryonal impulse which, suddenly stirred, impels to action. 
Retrogressive reaction, a phenomenon often observed, plays 
an important role in both the parapathiac and the paralogic 
disorders. 
Leonhard Frank, in his masterly novel, Die Ursache, de- 
scribes the infantile motives of a murder. The artist, the 
hero of this novel, dreams at night about his teacher and about 
an excursion during which that teacher had humiliated him. 
(He did not have the money for a glass of milk on that 
excursion and was compelled to wait outside while the whole 
class went inside the inn.) The following day he felt the 
impulsive desire to journey home and seek out that teacher. 
("Can it be possible that a man should have painful experi- 
ences as a child . . . which he no longer recalls, but which 
preserve in his emotional life an obscure existence and bring 
about a sudden outbreak of hatred?") He takes the train THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
71 
to go home, but realizes the childish character of his mission 
and returns to Berlin. Here he goes through some additional 
humiliations, borrows 20 marks from a woman and finally 
returns to his old home. He looks up his old teacher, Mager, 
and finds him in the act of punishing a child. He reproaches 
the teacher for the old humiliation which fills in his breast 
with as much resentment as when it first happened. Sud- 
denly he rushes at the teacher and strangles him. . . . 
His relations to the family history are also fairly trans- 
parent. His father had often beaten him. Once he beat 
him mercilessly upon the bare buttocks. This punishment 
he received in front of the whole family. . The boy ran away 
from home. Shame, pain, and rage almost caused him to lose 
his senses. In despair he wandered for hours across empty 
fields. Suddenly he came to a bam which he set on fire. 
He had also other reasons to be dissatisfied with life. In 
spite of his talents he did not make proper progress. 
That is the decisive point. Many persons get over their 
humiliations and infantile feeling-attitude, when success offers 
them a substitute; when their life's pathway leads them for- 
wards or they finally save themselves through a happy mar- 
riage which cancels the wounds of the past. 
In order to understand nostalgia it is necessary to know 
that the sexual longing is not the only driving motive. Some- 
times it is the realization that the humiliations of childhood 
cannot be compensated for. Particularly common are the 
revenge thoughts of sons against their father, when the latter 
deals too severely with them, punishing them frequently, and 
he is loved, in spite of everything, the boys yearning contin- 
ually for his affection, as it were. Patricide is one of the most 
common crimes perpetrated in fantasy. (Freud's CEdipus 
complex.) Many wander back home to avenge themselves. 
Fortunately it is seldom that cruel deeds are actually com- 
mitted. The impulse is discharged in some roundabout way. 
The subjects turn to drink, or to card playing, they wander 
about, or exhaust their energies in some mania for sport, 
to whose morbid roots and relationship with dromomania 
Tissie 19 has called our attention. 
A deep insight into the psychogenesis of the mania for 72 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
sport is furnished by an analysis carried out under my direc- 
tion by Emil Gutheil, one of my assistants: 
Case 21. F. P., commercial clerk, 24 years of age, suffers for 
the past 6 months from a paroxysmal tachycardia, associated 
with shortness of breath and fear of death. Secondary symp- 
toms : advanced aerophagy, restlessness, absent-mindedness, mor- 
bid dreads. 
The attention of two private physicians, and a sanitarium 
treatment of about four months, remained without results. 
The aerophagy (swallowing of air) interferes with the pa- 
tient's speech so that his words roll forth during expiration 
in grotesque avalanches. 
I have watched him during an attack; it was one of the 
lighter attacks and consisted of three phases: (a) dyspnoe; 
convulsive gasping for air associated with fear of choking; 
facial expression of suffocating; (b) intensive palpitation; 
outbreak of perspiration and profuse flow of saliva; (c) grad- 
ual subsidence, with lassitude, and persistent sense of pressure 
in the cardiac region. Duration of the attack, about two 
minutes; pulse, over 200. 
According to the patient's statement, some of the attacks 
lead also to the vomiting of mucus. At such times he thinks 
his end has come. 
X-ray examination, negative. 
The answers to the first questions disclose the nature of 
the parapathy. 
"How is it with your sexual relations?" 
"I have intercourse with my fiancee." 
"Have you deflorated her?" 
"Yes; on March 27, 1919." 
"Do you intend to marry her?" 
"Well, you know, everything happened so quickly, we got to- 
gether quite suddenly-besides she is my first sweetheart. But 
the more I am with her, the clearer I see that only she can make 
me happy. On the days when we do not meet I suffer most 
intense sexual distress and direct agony; even thoughts of suicide 
come to my mind. Restlessly I rush around the store, and on 
the streets, and at home, like one possessed." THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
"When will you marry?" 
"When I get well. You appreciate that I could not do it in 
this state." 
"Since when do you suffer from these nervous symptoms ?" 
"My restlessness and agitation began in April, 1919. My mas- 
turbation habit also dates from that time. Until then disgust had 
kept me from this indulgence, but after that I was unable to 
deal with my overflowing cravings in any other way. The mas- 
turbation habit I kept up approximately until June, 1921." 
"Since when do you suffer from your palpitations?" 
"The first attack occurred in 1921. My fiancee had an abortion 
in February. In April I began my mountain climbing-I am 
passionately fond of going alone on excursions. I thought that 
was a good way for me to tone down my sexual longings and 
the physician also recommended it. But in April my heart action 
was already very irregular and, though formerly I took the long- 
est walks without difficulty, towards the end of June things came 
to such a pass that I had a severe attack of heart pain and short- 
ness of breath on the level street. Now I have but one wish 
which alone could make me happy: to be able to climb mountains 
again." 
"Let us hope your wish will be fulfilled; but why do you always 
go alone on your excursions and not with your fiancee?" (At this 
juncture the subject has the attack described above.) 
"I do not want to expose the girl to danger." 
My task, as revealed by the information thus far obtained, 
resolves itself down to the following two sharply circumscribed 
questions: 
1. What was the reason for the subject's flight from reality 
into his parapathy? 
2. What role does the attack play in that connection? 
The analysis revealed, in the first place, the CEdipus com- 
plex, determined specifically by his maternal body fantasy; 
his strong fixation on his sisters came next to light. The fol- 
lowing three dreams show these constellations: 
1. I am in an abandoned locality, lying on my back in the 
loft of a house and peeping through a hole. I see flyers; bombs 
and shrapnels fall crashing all around. I feel a great dread and 
wake up with palpitation and shortness of breath. 
73 PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
74 
2. (Stereotypic.) I walk along a narrow, smutty passageway 
and meet uncanny, mummified figures. Through a small window, 
with the aid of a ladder, I reach down into a bright courtyard 
(like the one at our home in Graz). The yard is surrounded 
on all sides by high walls over which tree branches are hanging. 
In the middle of the yard there is a basin and a kind of water 
spring. (Sometimes in this dream I go through the scenery in 
the reverse direction). I reach the open space always with a 
sense of relief. 
3. It is night time and the sky is overcast. There is thunder 
and lightning. I am out of doors, in front of a large, white bluff 
which is lit uncannily by the flashes of lightning. I am wrapped 
in sheets as if I were lying in bed. Leaning squarely against the 
rocky wall gives me a strange sensation of well-being, a feeling 
of security, of protection. Many persons are crowding around 
me, a number of acquaintances among them, but I do not recall 
who they were. They crowd against the wall and move along 
its edge so that I am carried forward by them in my lying pos- 
ture. At this point there is a hiatus in my memory. Next I 
find myself in a garden with tables and chairs, like a restaurant 
garden. I am seated at a table with a few persons, they eat, 
an old woman is serving. Only I sit before the empty plate, 
looking hungrily at the others. As soon as the others are through 
I seize the leavings and swallow them greedily. This leads to a 
quarrel which ends in a fight. 
The first is a typical maternal body dream and requires 
no closer interpretation. Dreams 2 and 3 show us, above 
all, the patient's birth fantasy. The first dream discloses 
an anxiety affect, the last two dreams disclose the affect of 
gratification. The many people, including acquaintances, are 
the unborn sisters and brothers (spermatozoa). 
The second part of dream 3 portrays the patient's feeling- 
attitude towards the family. The garden restaurant stands for 
man's first "restaurant" (a play on the double meaning of 
Restauration, lit., eating place, /kj., "place of restoration") : 
the parental home. The old woman is the mother. At the 
dining table the patient is overlooked, he must be content 
with the leavings. The sexual valuation of the act of eating 
is here clearly indicated, the incident portrayed by the dream 
representing love competition. The quarrel is particularly THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
significant; it discloses the CEdipus complex; it shows also 
the patient's sexual-criminal predisposition, to be brought out 
more fully later. The words "Restauration" and "the old 
woman is serving," embody also a wet-nursing fantasy. Pa- 
tient has watched the weaning of two children in the family. 
The words "as soon as they were through" refers to the death 
wish, which mediates the subject's approach of the survivor- 
the "leavings" (mother). On the other hand, "leavings" 
refers also to certain mysophiliac trends which will be brought 
out at the proper juncture. 
The parapathiac's attitude towards his fantasy products is 
always bipolar. In the case of my patient's maternal body 
complex the pleasure-fear relation is expressed symptomati- 
cally on the phobiac plane, and generates fear of narrow or 
closed spaces, shortness of breath on passing through deep 
valleys or tunnels, steady sensations of pressure on the chest, 
etc. As a polar counterpart our patient exhibits certain char- 
acter traits, such as the desire to venture on excursions alone 
-also a remarkable attitude towards mountain climbing. 
He describes his disgust, to the point of nausea, at the sight 
of sausages, juicy food material, meat fats, etc., and gradu- 
ally unfolds before us a well-developed fellatio fantasy. Con- 
nected therewith stands also his great morbid fear of table 
corners and stove edges, his fear of sticking his fork into 
his eye at the table, etc., a fear which occasionally becomes 
so morbid that the after-image of the dangerous tips or cor- 
ners persists clearly before his mental vision even long after 
his eyes shut spasmodically. 
His •wet-nursing fantasy and his mysophilia stand out in 
contrast to these complexes. 
For instance, during sexual intercourse the patient has the 
habit of sucking the woman's mamillae (fellatio and wet-nurse 
fantasy)-at the same time he occasionally bites these parts 
as well as the adjacent facial regions (castration). Then, 
too (in spite of his aversion for juicy food), he devours all 
his facial excreta, from the nasal mucous secretion to the 
hardened incrustations which he removes from the corner of 
his eye, chewing the hardened pieces to bits. The odour of 
his excrements is also pleasing to him. 
75 76 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
Now we understand why his dyspnoic-tachycardiac attacks 
end in vomiting. The analogy between his maternal body 
dreams and his nervous symptoms during the anxiety states 
and during his attacks shows clearly that the attack dramatizes 
a maternal body fantasy combined with fellatio. 
We must now critically scrutinize his relation to the girl. 
It was a case of "love at first sight." The work on The 
Anxiety States has taught us that we must look very care- 
fully into such sudden outbreak of affects; I was not surprised, 
therefore, to find that the patient's behaviour was but an 
attempt to free himself from his family ties and from the 
infantilisms which the war had brought to surface. These 
determinants had led him to enter into a stronger, indissoluble 
and permanently reassuring tie, so far as that was possible 
for him; and thus, in a moment of weakness, the inevitable 
happened. 
The hopes that the patient had placed in this occurrence, 
of course, were frustrated. After a resistance lasting several 
weeks he admitted that the defloration was followed by a 
certain disappointment. Then the parapathiac symptoms 
set in. 
How may we explain his disappointment in spite of his 
evident affection for the girl? This is a subconscious reaction, 
brought about by the patient's excessive expectations. As a 
matter of fact sexual union does not dissolve the infantile 
fantasy-it only complicates the current mental-emotional sit- 
uation. 
The late onset of the masturbation habit is thus easily ex- 
plained. Only on activating his subconscious fantasy does 
the patient find the gratification which reality fails to yield 
him. His faithfulness, on closer scrutiny, proves dubious; 
on the street his eyes follow every girl and he continually 
dwells on sexual fancies concerning each girl; that is the 
reason why he cannot endure being away from his fiancee; his 
craving overwhelms him, the temptation grows, there remains 
nothing for him to do but to have recourse to the old means 
for consolation : he indulges in masturbation. THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
77 
In order to appraise this case properly it is important to 
know that the parents were decidedly against this union and 
that the conflicting forces, love of parents us. love of wife, 
also played a role in his parapathy. During his attacks the 
patient calls for his mother or sisters. If the door to his 
sisters' room is closed he cannot fall asleep. Often, during 
sleep-walking, he wanders through two rooms to his mother's 
bed, and to reach her he must walk around his father's bed. 
The following dream strikingly discloses the extent of his emo- 
tional fixation. 
A dream: 4. A long array of figures in fantastic, diapha- 
nous garb-at the head of the procession a gaudily arrayed knight 
rides on a black horse. With a triple-pronged fork, like Nep- 
tune's trident, which I hold in my hand, I slay three of these 
figures. I sneak surreptitiously to do this. I am discovered; 
after a desperate struggle the trident is wrestled out of my hand 
and is thrust through my heart from behind. I see the three 
prongs sticking out in front. I awaken in the midst of deadly 
dread and intense pains. 
P. S. I recall having slain the others in the same way. 
Patient's association to the knight led from Diirer's "Rider, 
Death and Devil," to Renaissance, and Condottieri Coleoni, 
and to his mother, who is studying history of art. Fork 
reminds him of his fork phobia. 
Interpretation: 1st Determinant: Maternal body. Death 
and funereal procession mean, reversely: generation and birth. 
The equation, fork=penis, shows that the murder in the 
dream symbolizes a sexual act within the maternal body. (A 
fantasy which is far from rare!) The episode is pluralistic: 
he is "stuck from behind" (i.e., a sexual act. The homosexual 
dream component). 
2nd Determinant: Knight=Death. The number 3 stands 
for the male genitalia; hence, slaying=castration. The cas- 
tration fantasy is linked with the fellatio fantasy. 
3rd Determinant: The other children of the family are 
slain in utero (criminal impulse). The father is treacherously 
slain from behind. 78 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
The ferreting out of the criminal and castration complexes 
carries us an important step forward. I ask the patient for 
further details. 
Thereupon he unfolds to me his unbridled indulgence in 
instinctive cravings. The patient has been a decided tyrant 
from his early childhood; he has tortured animals and insects, 
and has destroyed everything that fell within his grip. Dur- 
ing the war, although there was no lack of fuel at the front, 
he chose to burn up costly furniture from the abandoned 
homes, after first hacking it to pieces. He was always ready 
to volunteer for deeds of violence. Continually he is op- 
pressed by suspicions that his father or sisters, frequently that 
his sweetheart, may have met with some accident-that per- 
haps they are dead. This dread pursues him into his dreams, 
generating unrest and depressions and rousing thoughts of sui- 
cide (lex talionis-the law of retribution). 
These manifestations, which embody wishes converted into 
morbid dread, exhibit his infantile criminality. But what is 
the aim of this instinctive trend? 
Before answering this highly important question we must 
examine another strange and powerful impulse which chal- 
lenges our attention: the patient's wandering mania. 
The patient's own account suggests some interesting points 
concerning the genesis of this neurotic symptom: 
The patient's restlessness began immediately following the 
defloration. On his first, rather short, walks, he was accom- 
panied by the girl, or by his sisters; but presently he re- 
nounced their company on the ground that they were not 
equal to the task, and little by little his growing inner agita- 
tion led him into a veritable dromomania, such as is seldom 
seen, culminating, during the spring of 1921, in his mountain 
excursions. The patient prearranged a very lengthy itinerary 
and endeavored, at all costs, to carry it out to the letter. 
That meant a heated chase; on reaching the summit, he hardly 
glanced at the valley below or at the majestic sunrise; night 
and day he climbed mountains up and down, rushing over steep 
declines and across deep snow. No trace of exhaustion! And 
before he had time to take into account his impressions every- 
thing was over; he hurried to the train to get back home. THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
79 
The matter of the daily itinerary requires closer scrutiny. 
The patient holds on to three different programs: one for 
books, one for mountain climbing, and, lastly, a comprehensive 
life program. 
The patient writes down a list of hundreds of books which 
he proposes to read through within a certain time limit. He 
reads three or four books at once because he dreads the 
thought of not getting through with his reading program. 
But as fast as he devours the reading matter his list grows; 
thus the nervous tension is kept up all the time. This is 
true also of his mountain excursions; and the same thing 
happens innumerable times in connection with his daily tasks. 
He plans minutely, laying out an abundant program for his 
future tasks. "If I do not succeed in carrying out my pro- 
gram," the patient states, "it makes me very dissatisfied; it 
gives me a sense of void and dissatisfaction." 
The following facts must be mentioned: The defloration 
occurred on March 27, 1919, the mountain excursions began 
during the early part of April, 1921, precisely two years later; 
his first attack took place at the end of June, 1921. It is also 
interesting that his two sisters were born on the 27th (Novem- 
ber and December, respectively). He also had a slight attack 
during the treatment, on the 27th of March. 
Suspecting that the dates of the attacks pertain to a secret 
calendar, I ask the patient, at a subsequent sitting, in accord- 
ance with my esteemed teacher's proven technic, to call out 
any figure of two digits which may come to his mind. I 
was hardly surprised when the patient's reaction resulted in 
two simultaneously associated numbers, 15 and 27, which 
proved the key to the solution of his subconscious onanistic 
fantasy. 
15 is an old masturbation symbol (i=penis, 5=hand) ; 27 
is the starting point of his parapathy: sisters' birthday and 
defloration of the girl. May not these two facts be connected 
by some subtle link? The suspicion is strong that this must 
be the case. 
The surmisal of a secret calendar was corroborated by the 
patient; he always endeavors to keep a memorandum of 80 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
what happened to him a month ago, one year ago, or ten 
years ago. He possesses the calendars covering several years 
and notes down the important events; he thus continually 
refreshes his past. . . . 
The wandering mania appears to be a Hight reflex and, at 
the same time, a powerful shifting of affects. This is shown 
by his exhausting itineraries, the haste, and perseverance with 
which he goes through his touring programs, his inattention 
to the beauties of nature while on the way, and by numerous 
other signs. The cause of this flight is traceable to the 
patient's infantilisms which have become manifest. The pa- 
tient flees from incest, he runs away from the maternal body, 
he wants to avoid his sadistic criminality. (Stekel's centri- 
fugal reflex.) At the same time we find, as polar manifesta- 
tion, the centripetal flight reflex embodying a shifting of af- 
fects. In this second sense we have here a flight from the 
fiancee and from manliness to loneliness, to the infantilistic 
fantasy, to mother nature's lap (cp. the wet-nurse fantasy; 
further, also, the somnambulic wandering to the mother's 
bed). 
But whereas the centrifugal flight reflex shows certain 
euphoriac signs, the centripetal flight remains decidedly a 
parapathiac symptom. It is significant that his suicidal no- 
tions center only on the fantasy of jumping into a ravine or 
rocky cleft, so as to simulate an accident. 
A dream: 5. I dream that I am sleeping. While I thus 
sleep my mind is busy with the thought that I must go on an 
excursion. I reflect: Climb I cannot, it seems to hurt me. Sud- 
denly I find myself sitting in the train, and next to me sits my 
mother wearing her nightgown and with her hair down, as she 
is when abed. Very much surprised I ask her what she is 
doing there in that attire. She says: Nobody sees us here any- 
way-besides I shall go right back. 
This dream discloses very plainly the relationship between 
his fixation on the mother and dromomania. Since, according 
to Freud, there is no negation in dreams, this means: I am 
climbing the mountains alone but (in my fantasy) mother is THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
81 
always with me. In the dream the journey is something for- 
bidden, as the beginning of the dream itself indicates. The 
words, "besides I am going right back," reflect the patient's 
impatience to return which sets in as soon as he starts on 
an excursion, also his restlessness. This dream, like the im- 
mediately preceding one (dream 3), discloses plainly the equa- 
tions: (or=sisters, as the younger editions 
of the mother) and wandering=congressus sexualis. His 
various programs and itineraries are bound up with a very 
important secret augury: unless you carry this out, you will 
also miss your happiness. 
The devouring of books, the feverish mountaineering, and 
the laying out of daily programs would appear wholly unin- 
telligible to us if we did not know the affects that lie back 
of these strange peculiarities, and the subject's hidden aim 
of testing his fate at every step. 
The patient is superstitious. Although he vehemently de- 
nied this at first, little by little he recalls particular habits which 
leave no doubt as to that. For instance, it is a matter of 
concern for him whether he steps upon the shadow of a statue 
with the left, or with the right, foot first; right foot first 
means bad luck. (Left is the incest side!) Ascending a stair- 
way of an uneven number of steps is, again, a sign of bad 
luck. The patient's whole course of thinking and acting is 
veiled in symbolism. What is the "good luck" which the 
patient wants to secure for himself by these strange means? 
It is the parapathiac's secret (unconscious) sexual objective. 
I believe that my first question: "Why does the patient flee 
from reality to parapathy?" is answered by this analysis of 
his flight reaction. No parapathiac can successfully run away. 
Thus, our patient, too, is preoccupied, during his wanderings, 
with but one thought: What would happen if he should meet 
a girl in this solitude? Persistent erections, bordering on 
satyriasis, trouble him during the excursions. He tries to 
avoid them; fidgets around with his cane, beheading the 
flowers, or knocking off tree branches and foliage with it. 
Only thus is he able to keep in check his overflowing cravings 
(castration and criminal complex!). 
Once good luck smiled on him. A handsome girl met him PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
82 
on the way and asked him for directions. One would think 
that he hurried to the girl's side and offered to accompany her, 
but no! He imparted the desired information dryly, in a 
matter-of-fact manner, without swaying one iota out of his 
marching route. 
There we have the young man, tortured by satyriasis, Tun- 
ing away from his sexuality to the mountains; hungry for 
love, yet coyly sidestepping a rare and much-desired oppor- 
tunity when reality offers it to him. The patient's associa- 
tions at this juncture lead to a fantasy of passion and crime 
(Lustmord) which has a very important bearing on the patho- 
genesis of his heart trouble. 
The starting point is furnished by an illustration in Erich 
Wulffen's book, Der Sexualverbrecher. The illustration shows 
a girl who had been maltreated by an assaulter, lying in the 
bushes with an umbrella thrust into her bleeding and tattered 
sexual parts. At once we see why the patient avoided the girl 
on the mountain path. He thus insured himself against (the 
temptation of perpetrating) sexual assault and murder. (The 
moral inhibitions on account of his fiancee must be regarded 
as secondary.) 
The Lustmord fantasy has its origin in the criminal cravings 
which the patient harbors with reference to his sisters and his 
fiancee. 
In the first place murder within the maternal body, in ac- 
cordance with the dream equation, mountain=mother, be- 
comes also murder in the mountains; in the second place, ac- 
cording to the other dream equation, wandering=sexual in- 
tercourse, it becomes murder during wandering, hence murder 
during sexual intercourse, i.e., passion murder {Lustmord). 
That this is correct is borne out by the patient's subsequent 
associations. He recalls that during the outings with his sisters 
and his fiancee he was very much afraid that the girls might 
slip and fall-an anxiety which he felt so keenly that it brought 
on palpitations. He recalls also that during sexual intercourse 
his heart frequently began to beat fast; this he ascribed to 
the excitation. For that reason he imposed weeks of absti- 
nence upon himself. 
The morbid concern over the safety of his sisters and fiancee THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
83 
is but the reverse of his death wishes against them, as we 
know through the bipolarity of affects, and serves as a safe- 
guard. Such polar manifestations are of a sexual character. 
His abstinence is also a protective device and an ascetic trait 
at the same time; in any case it justifies the suspicion of a 
paraphiliac motive. Like the attack proper, the abstinence is 
related to the suppressed criminal impulses. The bloody act 
of defloration and the abortion-the child murdered in utero 
-serve as inciters for the criminal impulse. The traumatic 
character of the defloration is proven by the constant recur- 
rence of the attacks on the 27th day of the month. 
The cardiac neurosis is traceable to the following determi- 
nants : 
1. In the first place it appears to be a sign of abstinence 
from masturbation. The patient thought the masturbation in- 
dulgence affected his heart. 
2. It stands as a safety device against the craving to slay 
his fiancee and thus escape from the throes of love. The heart 
attacks during sexual intercourse, and particularly the attack 
during the consultation hour which occurred at the beginning 
of the treatment, are traceable to this fantasy. 
3. The parallel between "sticking the heart" and a sexual 
act, as disclosod in dream 4 (through the process of shifting 
from below) points to a connection of the attack with a homo- 
sexual fantasy. 
4. The cardiac complaint is a sign of retribution (lex 
talionis!). Patient is fairly free with his death wishes; his 
customary oath is: "May he be struck dead!" He is never 
on good terms with his employer (father Imago), and he 
suffers regularly from his heart attacks during the heated 
controversies with the latter. 
5. The fantasy of sexual assault and murder in the moun- 
tains with his sisters or other strange girls as the victims; 
in this connection the attack is a safety device insuring him 
against wandering off; it is the polar counterpart to his flight 
reflex. 
6. It is the expression of his troubled heart-troubled on 
account of his sexual disappointment (cardiac pains). There 
is no doubt that on account of his infantilism he nurses in  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
84 
his breast a distinct aversion to marriage. The patient's state- 
ment that he will marry the girl "when he gets well" dis- 
closes to the expert eye his true attitude towards marriage, as 
well as the true extent of his willingness to get well. Thus, 
this cardiac neurosis arises out of the disproportion between 
his adult and his infantile ideal. 
The recognition of these mechanisms and of the operations 
of the parapathy enable the patient, in the first place, com- 
pletely to get rid of the shortness of breath and of the 
aerophagy, induced by his maternal body and fellatio fantasies. 
The pressure on the chest and his morbid dread of sharp 
edges, and tips, disappear. The cardiac attacks subside; they 
are represented merely by a weak pressure over the cardiac 
region. (There is a strong relationship between the swallow- 
ing of air and the cardiac trouble: the amount of air in the 
stomach is increased so that the fundus of the stomach presses 
against the diaphragm and the heart. That is the physical 
basis of his precordial pressure.) Patient recognizes, as the 
first prerequisites for getting completely well, that he must 
separate from his family and marry the girl at once; he re- 
alizes, further, that only now, having become aware of the 
roots of his paraphilia, will his affection remain undisturbed 
by any infantile crises. 
Meanwhile he has secured a position with his brother-in-law 
in the United States; the parents have given up their oppo- 
sition, and he expects to marry within a few months. As the 
analysis has not been completed, he is to remain under observa- 
tion till then. 
In conclusion I must remark that the patient undertook the 
psychoanalytic treatment without the knowledge, or consent, 
of his parents and that everybody was much impressed by 
the transformation in his character. 
I want to add a few remarks to this excellent analysis. 
We have here a clear illustration of the sudden flaring up of 
a mania for sport. The force of this wandering mania is 
shown by the somnambulic wandering to the bedroom of the 
parents, which required him to pass through his sisters' bed- THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
85 
rooms. This sleep-walking discloses also the symbolic aim 
of his mountain climbing. His agitation set in after the 
defloration, which occurred on a 27th, the birthday of his 
sisters. He looked for pleasures sufficiently gratifying to re- 
lease him from his family bonds. But the pleasures of reality 
were no longer able to take the place of his fantasy pleasures. 
He felt himself shackled to the girl, without feeling complete 
gratification during intercourse with her. His mountain ex- 
cursions were symbolic flights; at the same time they served 
as oracles. His fantasy substituted the itinerary with another, 
cryptic aim (possession of his sisters) : "If you are able to 
overcome these difficulties, you shall attain also your other 
difficult wish!" Thus it happened that every mountain to 
be climbed represented a particular wish. The excursion al- 
ways ended in disappointment. This led him to repeat the 
task over and over (analogy with the well-known repetitions 
of parapathiacs), until he, finally, ended this torture when 
the heart attacks came to his aid. But the mountain top be- 
came also a symbol of his high-strung pride. You will reach 
your aim! You can get there! You must get there! He 
wanted to accomplish more than anybody. His persistent 
erections, during the excursions, indicate the high degree of 
sexual tension within his mind maze. 
Years ago I had under treatment a similar case. The 
subject was a mountain climber who hated his father and, 
after a quarrel with his father, he always fled to the moun- 
tains in order to avoid turning into a criminal. He wandered 
around until he was exhausted; then, meek and pliant, he re- 
turned home. All his energies he spent symbolically slaying 
his father hundreds of times. He had the ugly habit of 
hurling large stones into the valley, to test how a man could 
be hit and killed in that way. Once he thought he had mur- 
dered an old peasant. . . . Then, much calmed, he returned 
home. But within a week new quarrels forced him again to 
take to the road. 
Death of the father may transform the old feeling-attitude 
of hatred into remorse. Occasionally the father's death is fol- 
lowed by a serious parapathy and an inclination to dipsomania; 
at other times the event brings about a serious depression; PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
86 
often the most varied mental disturbances combine to form a 
puzzling clinical picture. 
Case 22. Franz G., 24 years of age, suffers from restlessness 
so that he is unable to concentrate on any work. He runs around 
during the day sometimes for hours, accosting the loose women, 
until he is exhausted, when he picks up the first one that comes 
along. He has a strong inclination to drink, but this craving 
he curbs because he knows that he would be capable of commit- 
ting almost any crime while intoxicated. During the very first 
days the analysis discloses a strong fixation on the father. It 
was his father's fault that he was ill; he has beaten him cruelly; 
he has maltreated him during childhood; he does not send him 
enough money, etc. . . . On the third day of the analysis he feels 
an impulsion to go to his father (from Vienna to Hamburg) 
and "have it out with him." "I shall knock down the old rascal 
if he does not give me satisfaction and turn over to me my share 
of the inheritance." 
I tried to point out to him that his father meant well and 
did love him, but in vain. A letter from his father shows 
me that the man is affectionately attached to his son but that 
he does not know how to handle him. The patient quiets 
down a little; then, suddenly, he wants to go home because 
his father is ill. Before the father dies he must tell him the 
truth to his face. He has always trembled in fear of his 
father; he now wants to meet him for once as a man. In his 
mind he pictures the scene of his revenge at the father's death 
bed. While completing the arrangements for his journey a 
telegram apprises him that his father has passed away. There- 
upon his dromomania grows worse. He roams around for 
days; little by little his feeling attitude towards his father 
changes; during the analysis he now discloses certain good 
traits in his progenitor; regrets his harsh thoughts and, 
during his wanderings, he converses continually with his 
father. 
Sometimes a death in the family generates certain substi- 
tutive impulsions which lead to acts that would be unintelligible 
if we could not surmise the deeper-lying motives by analogy 
with similar cases. THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
87 
Case 23. Byi., a man 37 years of age, has been suffering for 
some time from quaint symptoms at which he himself is aston- 
ished. He is seized with sudden powerful erections in the middle 
of the night. At the same time he becomes depressed. Shadows 
steal over his eyes, there are pains in his back, his temples ache, 
and he feels an irresistible impulsion to run out. The moment 
he leaves the house he feels more easy and his depression sub- 
sides. But he has become a victim of the drink craving; drink 
alone, he feels, can do him good and brace him up; rushing to 
the first saloon, he orders a glass of wine and drains it without 
a word. Sometimes that is enough to satisfy the impulse- 
though he has to do it repeatedly, the impulse seizing him three 
or four times during the day. At other times he goes into four 
or five saloons, repeating the same ceremonial in each place be- 
fore quieting down. At such times he has to wander very much 
and he always seeks out the most remote drinking places. He 
must always go afoot and keep to the middle of the road. Dur- 
ing these "forced marches" he holds his head bowed, brooding 
over the death of his mother and of his only brother, who passed 
away recently. 
The attack, or crisis, begins also with slight facial convul- 
sions; his mouth opens and shuts involuntarily and he turns 
red. The crisis ends with a deep half-hour sleep; often he 
wakes up from this slumber with an outcry, bathed in sweat. 
Twice he found himself in a garden without recalling how 
he got there. (Janet, Obsessions et Psychasthenic.} 
Such dream states frequently accompany the various impul- 
sive acts, although we are not justified in assuming that they 
are genuine states of split consciousness. Obviously this man 
regresses back to the suckling period, as I have explained at 
length in my Psycho-Sexual Infantilism. The automatic mo- 
tions of the mouth and his dipsomania indicate this. Dipso- 
mania is also frequently an infantilistic regression. I know 
a case where the craving for milk characteristically alternated 
with the craving for wine. 
One form of fleeing home has been given a certain poetic 
idealization. This is the soldier's return home after deserting 
from the army. Innumerable sentimental folksongs deal with 
this theme which thus far has been subjected relatively but 
little to scientific scrutiny. A favorite popular ballad tells 88 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
about a soldier on sentinel duty; a wanderer passes by, singing 
of love and faith. The song awakens an irresistible longing 
for home. "The song has done it, it is the wanderer's fault." 
According to a well-known tradition, the Swiss soldiers, when 
on duty, cannot bear listening to the cows bellowing; the sound 
drives them to abandon their post and they run home as if 
pursued by a higher power. Indeed, it is said that, at one 
time, the singing of this folksong was forbidden, under the 
penalty of death. The well-known folksong "Zu Strassburg 
auf der Schanz" (known also as "The Swiss"), deals with 
the same sentimental theme: The soldier, serving at Strass- 
burg, in a foreign country, hears the Alphorn; the nostalgia 
awakened in his soul by the sound is so irresistible that, de- 
serting his post, he swims back to his fatherland. Of course, 
the deserter wails that it is the unknown shepherd's fault. 
But for the seductive sound of the Alphorn he would not have 
deserted his post. 
It is remarkable that heretofore the physicians, partly ac- 
cepting these superficial motives, have failed to search for the 
deeper causes. The world war has furnished sufficient oppor- 
tunity for studying the motives of desertion.20 Unfortunately, 
we possess thus far but one psychoanalytic study of the sub- 
ject; even that one contains no extensive analysis, consisting 
merely of general observations. 
In his study, On the Psychology of the Deserter During the 
World War, Viktor Tausk, the highly talented analyst, whose 
premature death is a genuine loss to the new psychology, was 
led to important conclusions.21 Three considerations led him 
to undertake this study: i. The fact that most deserters did 
not belong to the fighting front. 2. The fact that during their 
flight the deserters suffered more than when they were on 
duty at the army post. 3. Finally, the fact that about one half 
of their number proved to be emotionally handicapped-weak- 
minded, childish, injudicious men. 
The deserters upon whom he had to pass judgment as a 
medico-legal expert he divides into several groups. 
1. Exceptional hysterical and epileptic states. Persons be- 
longing to this category he designates as not susceptible to 
analysis (an assumption which is wrong). THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
89 
2. Wandering individuals, fretsome under restraint, who 
assign childish motives for their running away and with whom 
running away is a characteristic experience. They "played 
hookie" at school and were runaways during their early years. 
The teacher and the captain are surrogates for the father, the 
female school teacher likewise stands for the mother, so that 
every subsequent running away amounts to a repetition of the 
compulsive "flight from family restraint." "The child is 
father of the man." Every restraint reflects the old family 
trammels which the subject tries to shake off. 
3. Deserters who run away through the fear of punish- 
ment. The dreaded punishment is often trivial. 
Case 24. A deserter made his escape after he acquired a 
gonorrheal infection and under the greatest hardships and pri- 
vations he made his way from Warsaw to Lublin. (The com- 
mandant had threatened to punish severely any man caught with 
a venereal infection.) He had a strict father, who often came 
home drunk and mistreated wife and child. The chief deter- 
minant of his conduct was fear of the father. It made him 
cower; it robbed him of self-confidence, so that he always dreaded 
punishment. Living under this continual dread of punishment, 
he was easily thrown off his wits. When he spoke of his father's 
harshness, tears came to his eyes. The commandant symbolized 
the father. 
4. Marauders, unable to bear the hardships of the service 
though they go nonchalantly through all the tortures of a 
fugitive's life. They constitute a sub-division of simulants 
and malingerers; they are mostly old farmers, more or less 
feeble-minded, and silly over the outward appearance of their 
anticipated hardships. 
5. The fifth group is made up of neurotics, individuals who 
suffer from phobias and compulsion neuroses. In this cate- 
gory Tausk includes those who desert on account of wounded 
pride, making their escape on being scolded or blamed for 
something. 
6. The deserters through homesickness (nostalgia). Long- 
ing for home, according to Tausk, is but the longing for 
mother. He has never met an instance of desertion on account 90 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
of a longing for the father-an observation which is not borne 
out by my experience. Therefore, the generalization: "long- 
ing for the family," or "for the family substitutes of one's 
childhood," would be more correct. He lays great stress on 
the dread of loneliness. The craving for companionship gen- 
erates depressions and anxiety, finally impelling the subjects 
to run home (centripetal tendency), and may be the cause of 
certain war psychoses (paralogies). Army desertions are 
sometimes only an unconscious "flight from the threatening 
mental disorder"-an attempt at escaping from a "loneliness 
psychosis." 22 
7. The deserter through political reasons. 
8. The conscientious objector. 
These deserters are asocial individuals, on account of their 
infantilism, whereas the war profiteers must be regarded as 
antisocial. 
Tausk's work shows throughout signs of that restraint which 
was imposed upon physicians by the strict war censorship. 
Also, his divisions are too rigid inasmuch as most cases are 
the result of the interaction of various motives. But his is 
the only work which applies the conceptions of psychoanalysis 
to an understanding of the problem of desertion. I re- 
gard as particularly significant his emphasis of the feeling of 
loneliness which is brought up so frequently in this form 
of impulsion. The dread of loneliness leads to the flight into 
solitude. 
The psychology of desertion can be appreciated best by 
the analyst who, having investigated many cases of dromo- 
mania, is capable of tracing their psychogenesis. The impulse 
appears suddenly; the thought of home stands out in contrast 
to the unbearable current situation. In Leonhard Frank's 
novel the judge is unable to grasp the facts before him because 
he does not know that childhood impulse may break out dur- 
ing adulthood; similarly many deserters and runaways are 
undeservedly condemned to endure punishments. 
Therefore, I repeat: Infantile experiences are back of these 
impulsive acts, and nostalgia is the longing for one's childhood. 
When those who run home do not find there the ones whom 
they love, they are disillusioned; everything seems to them THE IMPULSE TO WANDER 
91 
strange and changed. The cause of the morbid longing for 
home is a morbid fixation on the family. At times we find a 
longing for the recurrence of certain childhood traumas; again, 
the trouble may be due merely to an excessive tenderness, 
which contrasts painfully with the bleak life among strangers. 
As I have already pointed out, humiliations generate an un- 
quenchable desire for revenge and may persist in the soul 
under this form. Many a murderer is himself unaware that 
when he kills his victim he really slays his father or some one 
who earlier in life had roused his thirst for vengeance. It 
is the modern medico-legal expert's duty to investigate and 
clear up every problematic instance of crime through the aid 
of analysis; to investigate whether some traumatic determi- 
nant did not rouse to activity dormant embryonal impulsions. 
The understanding of many an offence can be made clear only 
through an understanding of the offender's childhood life. 
Education, unfortunately, often amounts to a training for 
crime. Ill 
FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
The uneasy conscience is a dog barking constantly. 
Abraham A Santa Clara. 
We have seen that the flight reaction often takes place in a 
peculiar state of mental abstraction which may be followed 
by complete amnesia. Janet makes a distinction between a 
hysterical (or epileptic) dromomania, accompanied by am- 
nesia, and a psychasthenic dromomania, which is not followed 
by a more or less complete forgetting of what had happened. 
Sometimes the diagnosis of the parapathy cannot be definitely 
ascertained. The concept of psychasthenia becomes misty, 
so to speak, as soon as we closely analyze the individual 
cases. All parapathias have something in common. We are 
always dealing with serious affect disorders, with the results 
of an emotional conflict which leads to a splitting of the 
personality. The so-called hysterical stigmata do not stand 
the test of closer objective testing. 
New concepts require new names. Therefore, the so-called 
hysterical delirium" I call "parapathiac delirium." Thereby 
I mean to lay the emphasis on the emotional disturbance 
brought on by the mental conflict in the situation. 
I have in my possession a unique document, the autobiogra- 
phy of a patient covering specifically the period of her flight 
into parapathiac delirium. This episode in her life is described 
with drastic candor and not without humor. But the episode 
ended with a "flight home" in the midst of an emotional in- 
toxication such as formerly was designated by the term "hys- 
terical delirium." This patient's confessions furnish us a deep 
insight into the mental life of an ungratified woman shunted 
into the wrong path by bad company and wrong advice. 
She attempted to "live beyond her means." The secret of 
the art of living is to recognize the limits of our powers 
92 FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
93 
and know what unmoral burdens our psyche can endure. It 
is characteristic of our age that human beings do not recognize 
these limitations and all want to "live beyond their means." 
Case 25. Mrs. Dora F., 36 years of age, of healthy appear- 
ance, showing no physical defect and coming from a healthy 
family, had never had occasion to complain of any nervous 
troubles. She comes to me, because after a love affair with 
a certain painter she plunged into a transitory state of mental 
confusion and at the hospital where she went for treatment 
and to secure quiet, the attending physician had mentioned 
my name to her. She begins her analysis with an account 
of her all-consuming love affair. She loves with insane 
passion, as much as a human being can possibly love. She 
thinks day and night of the painter, daily she looks for word 
from him, would take her life if she thought she could not 
see him again. She wants to know whether such an affection 
is normal or something morbid. She tells me the beginning 
of this love affair and at my suggestion, she writes down the 
whole story, somewhat too detailed, but with photographic 
accuracy. In addition to her biographic account the following 
data about her personal life are significant. 
She and her brother were the two children of a well-to-do 
family, adored by the father, whose only interest, aside from 
his large business affairs, was his love adventures. He did 
not show a refined taste. He pursued with his attentions all 
the servant girls, including even those who were in service 
in his own home, which led to numerous unpleasant quarrels 
and complications. She recalls a certain Frenchwoman, one 
of her attendants, who had been rendered pregnant by her 
father and who, nevertheless, was retained in the house. The 
father spoiled his daughter with his attentions, bought her 
numerous presents, and worshipped her, so that to this day 
she seems strongly fixed on him, although he has been dead 
for the past fifteen years. Her mother is a very honest, 
morally upright, kindly woman, who taught her children to 
be pious and to follow the path of virtue. She is living; highly 
honored and much loved by her daughter. Her brother is a 
homosexual, as a result of his differentiation from the father PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
94 
as well as on account of his strong emotional fixation on the 
mother and sister. He makes no secret of his homosexuality, 
is even proud of it, always holds on to a friend, some one of 
the lower class, whom he pampers like a beloved; he holds a 
high office in a large business, so that, without stinting himself, 
he is able to take care of the whole family. 
As a child she was wild, disliked studying and in spite of 
her talents obtained average marks at school. She disliked 
music, but was interested in languages, and began flirting and 
grew interested in men at an early age. She read many novels 
and wanted to experience adventure at any cost. Adventure 
came into her life in the shape of a young medical student 
who fell passionately in love with her. The customary rounds 
were gone through in a feverish intensity: rendezvous, flowers, 
gifts, poems, love letters, even visits at his home, although 
these visits did not lead to further intimacies. F., the sweet- 
heart, had serious intentions and considered himself her fiance. 
Indeed, they even exchanged rings, in secret. 
That lasted several years, she grew older, he approached 
his final examinations for his doctor's degree. Then one 
day he told her that he could not marry her because he was 
poor and would undoubtedly need assistance during the first 
few years of his practice. The fact was, she had been a 
wealthy girl and had now become poor. The father committed 
suicide, leaving his family in financial distress. He had lost 
everything playing the stock market and saw no way out but 
suicide. 
But her mother proved self-reliant. A few relatives stood 
by her; the creditors' claims were adjusted so as to leave her 
in the possession of a modest income. But in the general col- 
lapse of their fortune, the daughter's considerable dowry was 
gone. 
Dora was so heart-broken over her fiance's leaving her that 
she became deeply depressed and, on the physician's advice, 
went with her mother to the mountains. There she became 
acquainted with a plain, kindly man, whom she liked very 
much but who could not quite take her lover's place. She 
noticed that her new admirer harbored serious intentions. 
She encouraged the timid man so that he, at last, proposed FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
marriage to her. She was interested in showing F. that she 
could get a man. She wanted to avenge herself. She became 
engaged to the first admirer and the first invitation notice of 
her engagement she sent to her faithless lover, who meanwhile 
had graduated a full-fledged physician. 
After three months the marriage ceremony took place. The 
whole time she was in a state of mental elation. She was 
sufficiently informed to anticipate with insane rejoicing the 
coming sexual pleasures. Who can describe her disappoint- 
ment when she found her husband wholly impotent on the 
night of their marriage! After an hour of vain attempts she 
said angrily to her husband: "What a bungler you are." 
(The man attributes his subsequent trouble to this experience. 
He may be right.) After two weeks she told her brother 
this mishap. He advised her to wait. Such passing conditions 
of weakness are not infrequent. He favored this marriage 
because he loved the sister and was glad to see her with a 
man towards whom she was indifferent. She waited patiently 
two months longer. Then she asked her brother whether she 
should sue for divorce. The brother went with her husband 
to Freud, who recommended analytic treatment by his pupil, X. 
Five months of analysis showed no results. The husband did 
have erections, but when he tried to take advantage of them, 
his penis promptly collapsed. To render the act of intercourse 
easier, Dr. X undertook to perform a defloration on Mrs. 
Dora (with the finger). After two weeks she could bring 
about the performance of intercourse by assuming a striding 
position over her husband during the act. This happened a 
few times but thereafter sexual intercourse again became 
impossible. The analyst thought the husband was too much 
attached to his family, particularly to his mother and his 
brother. However, the results were deplorable and Mrs. 
Dora, digitally deflorated, and a woman three years married 
was still unacquainted with what she thought that a woman 
in her situation should have known and felt long ago. 
She became somewhat nervous and her brother advised 
her to seek some friend or have recourse to self-help. Never- 
theless she waited four years more. No result. The numer- 
ous futile attempts with her husband discouraged her. He 
95 96 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
loved her visibly and always played with her hands, which 
he called by pet names (Muzzi and Puzzi). He treated her 
as a child and he himself acted like one. At the same time 
he complained of all sorts of probable and imaginary troubles. 
He was a hypochondriac, always under the care of physicians 
and followed various procedures which he carried out with 
a pathetic patience. He was also rheumatic, suffered from 
gastric troubles, diabetes, and was on a strict diet; briefly 
he was an individual of the type called in colloquial Viennese, 
a "Krankensessel." 
In the seventh year of their married life she bestirred 
herself. She made the acquaintance of frivolous women who 
told her considerably about their conquests, frequented the 
afternoon teas at the prominent hotels, and entered into a 
number of rendezvous, without, however, risking the last step. 
One day she received a circular from Dr. F. He had changed 
his residence, establishing himself as a specialist in diseases 
of women. A few days later she went to him and complained 
of her trouble; she showed herself more keenly complacent 
than she intended. Briefly, it led to coitus. She held her 
beloved man in her arms, at last. But it left her cold. Her 
pretext was: she wanted a child. With this plea she excused 
her act. The moral imperatives of her will proved stronger, 
however, than her desire. She left ungratified. But she 
came back, again and again, until in a few weeks she noticed 
that he was getting tired of her. She was jealous of his 
young wife, and reflected: He does not like me. 
To her disappointment she did not become pregnant. Nor 
did she limit herself for long to her first adventure beyond 
the marital bonds. A woman, her "friend," introduced her 
to a man whom she did not precisely like-he was neither 
elegant nor handsome-but she was anxious to find gratifica- 
tion at any cost. She called that craving her Scheusal (i.e., 
monster, or demon). In spite of that she became his mistress 
and went with him to a low den. His paraphilia consisted 
of exclaiming vile words and telling pornographic stories be- 
fore sexual intercourse. That roused her very much. The 
filthy hotel, the back stairway, the dirty room, the coarse FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
97 
behaviour of the low persons who frequented the place- 
all that was a sensation for her. But she failed to achieve 
orgasm. . . . Finally, the thought occurred to her to accept 
pay. She was financially well off; her brother had turned 
over to her husband very profitable business interests so that 
she had nothing to worry about. Nevertheless she demanded 
payment from her lover; she demanded it after every act 
and the compensation had to be proportional to her achieve- 
ments. The price varied. She demanded only 20 kronen. 
She assumed the role of a prostitute. She envied the prom- 
inent prostitutes and imitated them. She wanted to look like 
a flirt on the streets and to be accosted meant a great deal 
to her. She had wonderful small feet and well-formed ankles 
which she displayed to good advantage so that she attracted 
the attention of foot fetishists who accosted her on the street. 
The following episode illustrates her psychic infantilism as 
well as the marital relationship. One day she asked her hus- 
band : 
"What do you think I would be paid ? How high would I 
be prized if I walked the streets? ..." 
Her husband looked at her a long time, appraising her up 
and down: 
"Oh-100 kronen." 
"Not more than that?" 
"Possibly a couple of kronen more." 
The next day she had a rendezvous with her paying lover 
and insisted on the amount estimated by her husband as her 
worth. 
In every respect she was a child. She showed interest in 
art, attended interesting lectures, longed for adventure and 
played the flirt without any real enjoyment. 
Two years later in Baden she became acquainted with a 
Colonel who was sojourning there for his health. He was a 
handsome, stately man who treated her respectfully. At last, 
they had sexual intercourse a posteriori under cover of dark- 
ness in a park. Her feelings were not roused but she was 
proud of this conquest and loved the man after her fashion. 
The episode was repeated a number of times. Finally he had 98 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
to leave Baden and wrote her letters, signed "Melanie" so that 
the husband should be kept in the dark regarding the true 
nature of this correspondence through the mysterious exist- 
ence of this supposed woman friend. 
This army officer fulfilled her most ardent wish. She be- 
came pregnant. She did not find it hard to suggest to her 
husband that one of his timid attempts, at last, proved effec- 
tive. Or did he not care to know the truth? At any rate, 
he seemed very proud and regarded himself as the father 
of the expected child. But three months later the physician 
diagnosed an extra-uterine pregnancy. She had to submit 
to a laparotomy which cut short her dream of motherhood. 
Three lovers failed to gratify her. She remained a frigid 
woman. Now she tried her luck with a fourth. Her hus- 
band was taking orthopedic treatment. She went once to the 
orthopedist, a handsome young man, but recently married. 
He found favor in her eyes and achieved an easy conquest. 
Then he had her come always after the office hours so that 
they had sufficient time at their disposal. She had to wear 
her black feather hat but undress to the skin except for the 
black silk stocking and patent leather pumps on her feet. 
That was her new lover's whim to which she had to adjust 
herself. In his turn he taught her the love alphabet. He 
was very potent and introduced her to the various postures, 
according to Aretino. He was eager to witness her orgasm, 
therefore she feigned gratification. But she never experienced 
orgasm; nor did she become pregnant, although she most 
keenly wished it. 
The reader will shake his head incredulously when I main- 
tain that this woman longed for love and purity, in spite 
of the fact that she led this kind of a life. But she was under 
the influence of a friend who preached to her that the bliss 
of existence consisted only in one's complete abandonment 
io the enjoyment of love. This woman, moreover, was homo- 
sexually fixed on her. She borrowed nightgowns from her, 
after they had been worn for a time, to sleep in them, claim- 
ing that the aroma of the worn nightgowns intoxicated her 
and that it was her greatest pleasure to give herself to a 
man in her friend's nightgown. These nightgowns she re- FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
99 
turned reluctantly, always saying: "What a pity to have to 
send the shirt to the laundry. I have consecrated it three 
times. Do wear it one night. It will bring you luck and 
render your husband potent." She reported other eccentrici- 
ties about this woman to whom she confided all her adven- 
tures. 
But in spite of all that, there was much good in her. She 
longed for love. She would break suddenly into tears, espe- 
cially when she was with her mother, if she saw a pair of 
lovers, or a mother with her children. And she suffered 
because she felt no gratification in the embrace of men. In 
the orthopedist she met a cunning expert in the art of love, 
who was afraid of nothing and who gave her a thorough 
schooling in the technique of love. But what was the result? 
She was never gratified, for the reason that her inner denial 
was much stronger. 
In this state, encumbered with three lovers (the "paying" 
one, the army officer who wrote her letters which he signed 
"Melanie," and the physician), she went to a health resort, 
where her husband sought a cure for his gouty ailment. 
Here follows her account which, in accordance with my 
principles, is given without any change in style or orthography. 
I have only made a few abbreviations, leaving out unessential 
details. Impatient readers may pass over the whole history 
and turn to my concluding remarks. I consider this account 
a treasure and a most significant document humain. My ex- 
planations are appended as remarks in footnotes. I have 
added nothing to the text. 
THE EXPERIENCE 
In accordance with your request I am writing down the ex- 
perience which has shattered me so badly. 
When we reached the little resort where my husband hoped 
to find a cure for his protracted ailment I gazed with tense ex- 
pectancy at the scenery of this region, to me new and unknown. 
I looked regretfully at the majestic, palatial hotel which was not 
in operation on account of the scarcity of provisions and, with 100 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
infinite disappointment, at the ugly, bare building (a former glove 
factory), which served as annex to the hotel and which contrasted 
so inharmoniously with the charm of the natural scenery and 
where we had reserved a room, months in advance. I was very 
dissatisfied with my room. But next day the manager showed 
us another room which was charming. It had a magnificent un- 
obstructed view; it was light and sunny, and furnished with 
delicate furniture; there was a rose carpet on the floor; the walls 
were in the same color, also the bed covers; it had two mirrors; 
everything to my taste. I was charmed with the room; it satisfied 
me and I felt wholly reconciled to the ugly hotel building. In 
great haste I changed my room and installed our numerous 
packages in our new room. In the afternoon the room next to 
us was taken by an elderly married couple. 
I was deprecatingly sorry for the other hotel guests. They 
were mostly old men and women, also families with children, 
always with some member ailing. And there were no Viennese 
folks there,-not a familiar face! I thought, how beautiful this 
charming region would seem, if one could be there in the com- 
pany of somebody one loved. On the following morning, at 
breakfast, the manager handed me a small package which had 
come through the mail. I was surprised, inasmuch as I had not 
told any one of my intention of going there. I read a strange 
name on the package and returned it with the remark that it was 
a mistake. At that moment I felt a pang of regret, for I should 
have liked such an unexpected surprise. The manager then gave 
the package to an elderly lady who sat with a gentleman at 
another table, saying to me, he was confused because we had 
arrived on the same day. I felt insulted to be thus mistaken 
for a woman who was at least 60 years of age, unusually short 
and stout and who wore ridiculously loud clothes. I thought to 
myself, shall I, too, look thus at 60 years of age? When my 
husband came I asked him at once whether I looked like that 
woman. He said: not at all! What made me think anything 
of the kind? I told him the incident about the little package 
and that I had been mistaken for her. From that time on I 
said to my husband, there goes my double, whenever we saw 
that woman, and laughed over it. It is possible that she may 
have noticed that I was ridiculing her. 
As I had no distraction, and no change, I devoted myself en- 
tirely to my husband. I accompanied him to his doctor and to 
the baths, I sat at his side sunning myself in the tiresome little FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
101 
"cure" park (a thing I cannot endure), thinking that inasmuch 
as our stay there was so insipid, and so costly, we may as well 
both relax and at least get something out of it. Meanwhile my 
mind dwelt on the love adventures which I had gone through in 
Vienna, and particularly on the last happy meeting with my 
love artist two days before our departure. Then I wrote and 
sent view cards and letters to all my relatives and acquaintances 
in Vienna. To one woman friend I wrote that my husband was 
the freshest and youngest and healthiest cure guest at W., and 
that she may gather from that how the others look. The only 
acquaintances I made here were a Count, who is so ill that 
he cannot move a step and who has most abominable twitchings 
of the face, and a clergyman, entered in the cure list as "papal 
house prelate." I wrote her, "I very much fear that here I 
shall have to remain true to the doctor." 
My husband could not be induced to take a little stroll even 
though the doctor had specifically recommended walking, because 
he was afraid the exercise would prevent him from gaining 
weight. Sometimes I went alone with my little dog strolling 
through the beautiful forest trails, but this so depressed me that 
I did not care to go out alone. The more pleasant the day the 
stronger I yearned for companionship. Afterwards I subscribed 
to the loan library and read a book daily, novels by Zola and 
Maupassant, mostly works I had read previously, but the choice 
was limited. One day my husband became acquainted with a 
couple of horrible Galicians and he began playing cards with 
them. Suddenly he flew into a jealous rage, without justifica- 
tion,-merely because one of them had asked me to go on a stroll 
with him. He quarreled with me throughout the night on account 
of that mistake. I held my ears and told him to leave me in peace; 
the night time is for sleep! 
One morning my husband told me that the couple next door 
were leaving. I was glad to hear it, even though I had no 
personal acquaintance with them; I thought perhaps nice interest- 
ing people would take their place. Next day my husband again 
told me that our neighbours were leaving. I asked him: "How 
do you know?" And he said he thought so because there was 
a bouquet of flowers at their door. Finally I said to him, they 
arrived at the same time we came here, they cannot be leaving 
already,-the cure takes four weeks; and the flowers are prob- 
ably set out in the hall every night because their odour is too 
strong for the sleeping room. PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
102 
Once I saw a young man coming out of that room and standing 
in front of the door. I reflected, perhaps other people are occu- 
pying the room, after all; and then I thought, perhaps the young 
man was a visitor, possibly a son. At the noon luncheon I looked 
over to the table occupied by our neighbours; the young man was 
actually sitting with them, and I said to my husband: "A son 
is visiting them." Involuntarily I looked at them a number of 
times, although in order to do so I had to strain my neck. I 
noticed that my eyes met the young man's, but, then, I reflected 
that perhaps I imagined this, for we were quite distant from 
one another. I do not know how many days he had been there, 
when I walked out of the writing room, one day, to post a letter 
I had just written, and I noticed this young man following me 
to the post office. Shortly before I reached the mail box he 
stopped on the country road and held me with his eye in a striking 
way. I reflected, surely, he does not think that I would speak 
to him; I dropped the letter in the box and started on my way 
back to the hotel. I noticed that he again followed me. On 
the hotel porch, I seated myself next to my husband in a basket 
chair and began to read. But now and then I glanced at the 
young man who had seated himself in a basket chair across 
from us. It was time for the noon luncheon, so I went for a 
moment to our room while my husband stepped into the dining 
room ahead of me. When I came down and entered the dining 
room, I saw, seated next to my husband, an elderly lady and a 
gentleman, whom I did not recognize at first. But presently I 
saw that the couple were a woman friend of mine and her 
husband, who had called on us from the neighbouring resort. 
I was tremendously overjoyed to meet friendly faces at last; 
we entertained ourselves very animatedly; for the time I did not 
think any more of the young man. My woman friend insisted we 
should take a drive. But there was no carriage to be had and 
so we decided to content ourselves with a stroll; of course, my 
husband would not join us. After luncheon I went up to our 
room to get ready, and my woman friend called for me in a 
short time. She waited at the door, so as not to disturb my 
husband, who was lying down on the couch, and when I stepped 
out of the room, the young man was again in the hall. I ex- 
changed a few words with my friend and found it uncomfortable 
to have to pass by him. We took a stroll and around 6 o'clock 
we returned to the hotel. My husband was playing cards with 
his Galicians. It was with considerable effort on my part that FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
103 
I succeeded in breaking him away from his card party to give 
his attention to our company. Across from us I saw the young 
man playing cards with another; that other man's wife was look- 
ing on. In the evening I escorted our callers to the train. Mean- 
while it had rained. When I returned from the station I walked 
squarely across the dining hall, to go to my room. At the exit, 
I again found the young man and as I brushed closely past him, 
he once more looked me garishly in the eye. In my room, while 
dressing up for the evening, I exchanged a few harsh words with 
my husband, who again irritated me with his hypochondriac com- 
plaints. To end the quibbling, I finally rushed out of the room, 
slamming the door behind me. At the moment when I rushed 
out of the room, I almost knocked into the young man, who 
must have been standing in front of our door. I thought to 
myself, he must have overheard our heated debate! Shortly after 
that my husband, too, came out of the room and together we 
went down to the dining room. After dinner I said to my hus- 
band that I was tired of strolling around and that I would 
like to go early to bed; but I would go for the dog, merely to 
give him a little exercise out of doors. I went up in the elevator, 
and to my room for a moment, to take the dog in my arms, 
and when I stepped out of my room, there stood, in the middle 
of the upper stairway, blocking my way: he 1 And then, I said 
to myself, this was in the air all day, I suspected and felt it 
coming, without full awareness, and now it is going to happen; 
the moment has arrived when we are to speak without an intro- 
duction. I was very excited and full of tense expectation. 
He introduced himself and begged me to excuse him for the 
unconventional form to which he had resorted to make my ac- 
quaintance. I said that I did not mind it, inasmuch as there was 
no other way. During this conversation we were standing on 
the steps, near my room. Then, suddenly, he said, pointing to his 
door, "This is my room," threw open the door, went in, leaving 
the door open, and remained standing in the dark room. I said 
to myself, what does that mean, does he really think I would 
step into his room ? I remained quietly standing on the stairway, 
waiting for him to come out of his room. Then, without a word 
between us about this incident, we descended the stairway to- 
gether. Arrived downstairs, I started to go into the dark, in front 
of the hotel, with my dog, and he asked whether he may join me. 
I consented. We spoke at first about dogs, then he said to me: 
"To-night at dinner I sent out to you telepathic thoughts; it 104 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
was very interesting; did you not feel the influence?" I an- 
swered, I had not noticed anything, whereupon he said: "You 
scratched your head, surely that is not your habit!" I could 
not recall having done so, but I told him that I find telepathy 
and hypnotism very interesting, adding, facetiously: "Hypnotize 
me." He asked me whether my husband would not be angry 
when he found out the unconventional manner in which we be- 
came acquainted, and I said that it were best I would not tell him 
anything about it, because he was very jealous. He said, "Yes, 
the best plan is not to tell him anything about it, why should 
you worry and annoy him without reason?" While he said that 
to me, I reflected: he must be considerate and tender, and I felt 
a great liking for him. He asked me what our chances were 
of being together, in view of the fact that my husband was so 
jealous, and I said: "Forenoons my husband is always at the 
baths and then he must lie down for one and a half hours; 
during that time I am free and we could take walks together." 
He said: "Very well, let us do so to-morrow and I will stay 
over another day; fact is, I had intended to leave." I answered 
very regretfully: "If you are leaving so soon, there is nothing 
to our meeting just now." Then I said that I must go upstairs 
and gave him my hand in parting. He kissed my hand and ex- 
claimed very enthusiastically: "You have such a soft skin, alto- 
gether you seem to be a very wonderful woman." I retorted, tell- 
ing him not to indulge in too high expectations, to avoid disap- 
pointment; that I thought I was a very simple woman. Then 
he said to me: "You will come out of your room again to-night." 
I said that I should positively do nothing of the kind and went 
to the dining room to fetch my husband. During this conversa- 
tion my head began to ache, there was a sensation of pressure over 
my forehead, between the eyes. I went with my husband to our 
room and, at the moment when we entered the room, I said 
to myself, he will be standing below to watch our windows. I 
stepped to the window and there he was standing, as I suspected, 
looking up. We looked at each other for a few moments, 
then I closed the window and drew down the curtain, and went 
to the second window; there was a repetition of the same mute 
scene. Then I said to my husband that my head ached, probably 
because the walk immediately after supper had overfatigued me, 
and that I felt very exhausted, and began to undress. After I 
took off my dress, I suddenly recalled that I had left my coat in 
the dining room. I told this to my husband, and as he was still FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
105 
dressed, I asked him to fetch it for me. He did not want to 
do it and suggested that I could have the maid bring it. But I 
refused, because I thought that perhaps she did not know my 
coat and might bring me a wrong coat. I decided to go for it 
myself and I again put on my dress. While doing so, the thought 
came to me, if I go downstairs, he will have been right when 
he said that I would go out of my room again that evening. 
But at the same time I hoped I should not meet him and he 
would not know of my having gone out again. When I stepped 
out of the room he was standing in front of the door. At that 
moment I was terribly frightened, and I said with a guilty smile: 
"I forgot my coat downstairs." He asked me for permission to 
accompany me downstairs while I fetched it. His request an- 
noyed me and I answered, shaking my shoulders, "I don't know," 
but went downstairs alone. When I took the coat from the 
dining room the waitress said I might have left it there over- 
night, the coat would have been safe. Then I went upstairs again 
and retired. But I was somewhat agitated and could not fall 
asleep promptly; I was pleased over the interesting acquaintance 
I had made that day and at the prospect of the next day's ap- 
pointment. On the next day the weather was very beautiful; 
I awoke in a happy and buoyant frame of mind. From my bed 
I could see the neighbouring mountains. When my husband 
woke up he opened wide both windows. After he left the 
room, around a quarter of nine, I got up in a happy frame 
of mind, rejoicing over my prospective rendezvous. I hurried 
through my toilette. A large mirror hung over the wash bowl 
and I smiled as I beheld myself while washing. As usual I 
went around naked while washing myself; suddenly the thought 
came to me, he has the room across, all day long he is hanging 
around the corridor. This gave me an uncomfortable feeling 
and I thought that perhaps he was peeping through the keyhole 
into my room, although I considered it unlikely. I took a hand- 
kerchief and hung it over the door knob. When my toilette was 
nearly finished, on looking out of the window, I saw him sitting, 
with a lady and another gentleman, on the breakfast porch. Then 
I went downstairs and took a seat with my husband at a near-by 
table. While breakfasting I had the feeling that he and the lady 
were glancing at me and talking about me. After my husband, 
following his routine, went to the baths, I remained seated and 
read a book (Maupassant's Bel Ami!}. Thereupon he came over 
and seated himself near me. I told him, we cannot go on our PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
106 
walk as yet, I must wait for an hour for my husband's return 
from the baths, as I must first prepare a compress for his feet, 
then we may go. He said to me: "There is something girlish 
about you." We then agreed that I shall introduce him to my 
husband upon the latter's return from the baths, and we both 
had the same idea, namely, to say that he brought me back the 
dog, after it had run off, and took the opportunity of introducing 
himself to me. Whereupon he said to me: "You got up very 
late this morning,-did you not feel you were being observed 
while you were making your toilette?" Very astonished, I said: 
"Why do you ask me that ?" He said: "I watched you this 
morning and was pleasantly surprised, not every woman goes 
about her toilette so thoroughly, and in the nude." I was ren- 
dered speechless. But I managed to say to him: "I did feel 
I might be watched, for I hung a handkerchief over the door 
knob; but how could you watch me, you could not have peeped 
through the key hole ?" He said: "How can you think that I 
would do such a thing? But I did see you, and saw also your 
husband who turned towards you to say a few words before 
he left the room." Then I said: "You could not have possibly 
seen it, but, since you are a telepathist, perhaps you have felt 
it, or divined it." He answered: "I saw it in a natural way." 
Suddenly it occurred to me to test his telepathic gifts and, as 
I have had my character interpreted from my writing a number 
of times by professional graphologists, I asked him if he could 
do likewise. He said he could, and I asked him to get a pencil 
and a sheet of paper. I wrote on the slip of paper: "Please 
tell me my chief character traits as revealed by my writing." 
Glancing at my writing for an instant, he covered his eyes with 
the palm of his hand, and for a moment remained absorbed in 
thought. Finally he said: "I am telling you this not only from 
your writing, but also from your physiognomy." Again look- 
ing at my writing, he said: "You are unmusical, indeed you sing 
off key." As this was very true, and nobody had said it to me 
theretofore, I let him go on without interruption. He continued 
without looking further at the writing or at me: "You crave 
complete subjection to the person whom you love, you would 
be happy to suffer for the sake of the person you really love. 
In such a case you would be little troubled by what folks say; 
indeed, you would hardly seek to avoid notoriety. You indulge 
in day dreams. You know much about human nature. You 
are cultured and you have read extensively. You have artistic FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
107 
sense, but poor taste. Your home is grossly furnished. You 
have a talent for writing. You can sublimate your emotions. 
You are liked by many persons. You are in love with some one 
at the present time. He is a stout, strong man, stupid and un- 
cultured ; his face is red and his language is coarse." I said: 
"You are mistaken, there is such a man, but I hate him, he loves 
me. At the present time I love another." Thereupon he said: 
"He is a married man; his wife nags him; he has very charming 
manners and a very beautiful body." I was bewildered in my 
astonishment. I said: "Whether his wife nags him, I do not 
know; I am not acquainted with his wife at all; but all other 
things you say are true and I love this man very much." While 
he was saying all this to me I had the feeling that it was all 
true. I realized for the first time that I was precisely as he 
described me, and I had the feeling that I never knew it till 
then because I had not thought of it before. Then he told me 
also that theretofore I had been insensitive to love, that my feel- 
ings were not yet awakened, that I was still like a girl. I be- 
lieved that, too, although it had not been clear to me till then. 
I said to him: "It is all true, except the statement that I have 
poor taste." But he insisted that it was so. I asked him whether 
I was a good dancer and he said: "Not at a waltz; but you dance 
well the modern dances." That was also correct. I added, 
I have no skill at writing, except perhaps letters, but he said: 
"You could do it if you tried." He also added: "You do not 
love your husband, though you are kindly disposed towards him. 
And, another important thing, you hate a certain close relative." 
I answered: "What you say about my husband is true; but I 
know nothing about hating any one, possibly that is something 
unconscious." 
Then he told me that he was a painter, 40 years of age, and 
that he had always lived in Paris .before the war. The war had 
crushed him,-robbed him of his youth, or something like that; 
during the greater part of the war he had served in the field. 
His statement, that he was a painter, seemed to me improbable, 
I should not have taken him for one. He did not have the 
appearance I had associated with an artist; his appearance was 
rather that of a successful business man. He was immaculately 
dressed in accordance with the latest fashion; I thought he must 
be a wealthy dilettante. I arranged with him that I would 
accompany my husband to our room, when he returned, to pre- 
pare his foot compress; that meanwhile he would walk ahead; and 108 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
that we shall meet in front of a certain house near the forest. 
It was his suggestion; on my part I should have walked out 
with him from the hotel, without hesitation. During our con- 
versation he had also asked me to take off my hat; I did this 
reluctantly, because I did not care to disarrange my coiffure. 
I took off my hat, but in a short time I put it on again. Then 
my husband came. I introduced the gentlemen and they ex- 
changed a few words. Then I accompanied my husband, waited 
until he was in bed, and applied his compress. Before going 
down again, I took off my hat, rearranged my coiffure and took 
along a parasol. We met at the appointed place and climbed a 
steep forest path,-it was the beginning of the road leading to the 
Tannenkogel. He asked me why I came out without a hat and 
I told him, because I had my parasol; in the sun I always carry 
either hat or shade, because the light blinds me. 
Next, I asked him to tell me, as he had promised in the morn- 
ing he would, how he saw me during my morning toilette. He 
answered: "I will tell you, on condition that you promise to go 
about it to-morrow morning in the same way, without taking the 
least precaution, and that you give me your hand on it." I was 
so curious about what he was going to tell me that I gave him 
my promise and my hand, without further quibbling. Then 
he told me: "Last night I slept very poorly, arose very early 
in the morning, walked over to the hill across from the hotel, 
and from there I looked through your window with my field 
glass. I saw very plainly everything: while wiping your breast 
you suddenly stopped, and I thought you felt yourself observed, 
I was even afraid you had noticed me." I said: "How could 
I have seen you, it would have never occurred to me that you 
would watch me from the top of the hill through a spy glass." 
I almost regretted that it had happened in so natural a way 
and the thought that I had promised to go through my toilette 
next morning in the same way oppressed me very much. As if 
he surmised my thought, he said: "You promised to go through 
it the same way to-morrow," and I answered: "I shall keep 
my word." 
Then we sat down on a bench along the road and, full of 
trepidation and uneasiness, I reflected, now he will want to kiss 
me. I was afraid. He started to kiss me on the mouth, but 
he said suddenly: "No, I will not kiss you thus, you are yet 
girlish." And he gave me a harmless peck on the cheek. There- 
upon he did kiss me on the mouth; he gave me a long and FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
passionate kiss, holding my arms fast at the same time, and 
I felt he was biting my lips. I tried to get away from him 
because the bite was painful, but he held me tight. Then he 
suddenly jumped off the bench, leaned against a tree and, holding 
his head between his hands, he cried, full of dismay and exci- 
tation: "Forgive me, oh, please, do forgive me, I am ashamed 
of myself, I am no man!" I did not know at all what he meant 
thereby; I felt I must console him and quiet him down; I reas- 
sured him repeatedly that I felt neither angry nor insulted, that 
I did not see why I should despise him, or why he is no man. 
I could not understand his behaviour. After he had quieted 
down, we went back on a different road than the one on which 
we came and he said to me: "Why did you laugh while I kissed 
you ?"1 I answered, saying that I had done it unconsciously, 
but that I always laugh at kissing; kissing was not something 
to be sad about. He said: "When one kisses you, you look up 
in the air and think of heaven knows what." I said: "That may 
be so, but I do not do it deliberately, I am not even aware 
of doing so." At that moment I perceived that the lip on which 
he had bitten me was badly swollen; I looked in my pocket mirror; 
the lip was disfigured. I held my handkerchief over the swollen 
lip and he told me not to do so, as this made it worse. I said: 
"But it looks so ugly," and he retorted: "I do not find it so." 
Then he wanted to know what I will say when my husband 
asks me why my lip was swollen, and I told him: "I shall say 
that I was bitten by an animal." 2 He laughed heartily at that. 
We reached the spot from which he spied through my window 
that morning and he showed me precisely where he stood. It 
was on a level with the third story of the hotel. I saw our open 
windows and at the back of our room the mirror hanging over 
the wash bowl, but nothing more could be seen with the naked 
eye. I asked him whether he had not seen other persons in 
their rooms and he said: "I saw only in one room an elderly 
woman clasping a garter under her knee." Then he said to me: 
"Cover the mirror over the wash bowl in the morning, it dis- 
turbs me." I answered: "No, I shall not do that; I have given 
you my word that everything will be as it was to-day and I shall 
keep my word." Suddenly he exclaimed, in an exhilarated tone 
of voice: "I saw you to-day preparing a bide for yourself." 
This so angered me that I turned my back at him and fled. He 
ran after me, calling: "Oh, please forgive me, dear madam, do 
forgive me." After a couple of minutes I stopped; I was no 
109 110 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
longer angry with him. I thought to myself, if he did see me, 
being angry at him won't help matters. He told me: "I deserved 
to have you angry at me for at least a quarter of an hour." We 
were now approaching the hotel and we separated. But first 
we agreed that he should join my husband and me at tea that 
afternoon and we would go on a walk together. 
That afternoon, before I went down to tea, looking out of 
our window, I saw him entertaining in conversation a blonde 
lady dressed in black. My husband was sitting near by at a 
table. I had tea with my husband, then I went back to our 
room again, to fetch my fur coat, because the air was chilly. 
Going down I met him on the stairway. He asked me whether 
he might join us at our table, and I consented. We three con- 
versed for a time and then we went for a short walk. By the 
time we reached the sanitarium park my husband felt tired and 
wanted to sit down on a bench. I wanted to keep on going 
with him, my husband protested, finding that altogether improper. 
Finally I said: "We shall go only a little way, sit down mean- 
while on a bench, we shall be back presently." And I ran ahead 
with him. He said to me: "You have a remarkable way of treat- 
ing your husband; you are like Nora" 3 Then our conversation 
drifted to irrelevant matters, and he asked me whether I am 
acquainted with a certain Mrs. M. She was an elderly woman, 
dressed too frivolously for her age, who did not live at the 
hotel, but who took her dinners there. I said the woman in 
question had already attracted my attention with her tasteless 
and gaudy attire, and I should be curious to know from what 
provincial nest she sprang. At that he felt very insulted. He 
said that he finds the "modern" attire very ugly and that I had 
hurt myself very much in his estimation with this statement. 
I told him that that was my opinion; that I do not mean to please 
him; that I intend to dress as modernly as possible; and that, 
whenever I order a new gown for myself, I always watch to 
see what the ladies of fashion are wearing on "peacock alley." 
He told me also that my bodice is visible and that I do not 
lace myself tightly enough. Then we turned back and returned 
to the hotel with my husband. 
When I awoke next morning, I recalled the promise I had 
given. I sat up in bed and looked towards the hill, through the 
open window, wondering whether he was there already, but I 
could see nothing. Then I got up quickly and went through the 
same toilette preparations as on the previous morning, excepting FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
111 
that I went through everything more hastily and always tried to 
have my back turned towards the window. After washing my- 
self, I sat down in front of my toilette table, which was standing 
between the windows, to do up my hair. There he could not see 
me. When my coiffure was nearly done, some one suddenly 
rapped at the door. I knew it was "he." Jumping up quickly, 
I ran to the door, which I knew was locked, and hurriedly hung 
a handkerchief over the door knob. Then I asked softly: "Who 
is it?" Again some one knocked, but there was no other answer, 
and I noticed that some one was trying to turn the door knob. 
I said very softly: "I cannot let you in now." He kept quiet 
for a while and I hurried through my toilette. After a few 
minutes he knocked again. I paid no attention. I resolved not 
to open the door even if he knocked all day. Finally he gave 
it up. I had put on my neatest dress, one I had never worn 
before, and a white hat, because white is very becoming to me, 
and I wanted to look as attractive as possible. When, at last, 
I went downstairs, I met him on the street in front of the hotel. 
He held in his hand a branch which he had plucked off a rasp- 
berry bush; it was full of raspberries and very pretty. He gave 
me the branch without saying a word. We were both silent in 
our embarrassment. Finally I asked him, pointing towards the 
hill: "Were you there?" And he asked me: "Why did you not 
open the door when I knocked?" I said I did not know who 
knocked because no one had answered my question; thereupon 
he said: "I wanted to offer you a rose, that was all," and at 
my astonished look, which seemed to ask: "Where is the rose?" 
he said: "The rose is now in my room." Just then his father 
passed by and he introduced him to me. The father, a very 
pleasant and rather youthful appearing man, said to me: "We 
are neighbours, don't we disturb you, don't I quarrel too much 
with my wife?" I perceived the insinuation and reflected that 
next time I would not quarrel so loudly with my husband. After 
he left us, his son said to me: "My father is very tactless, he 
should not have said that." I commented, saying: "It does not 
matter, at least I know now that the walls have ears." He told 
me also that his father was much interested in ladies, but that 
he had never got anything out of his life. Then we arranged 
to meet again at the same place as yesterday. I waited for 
my husband, as on the previous day, made his compress, and 
started for our trysting place. At the turn of the road I again 
met his father, who asked me where I was going. I said: "For 112 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
a little walk," and he commented: "Again for a walk !" I turned 
in another direction than the one leading to our trysting place 
and he accompanied me for a short distance; then we parted, 
and I went in a roundabout way to keep the appointment, near 
the edge of the forest. He saw me coming from a distance and 
ran forward to meet me: "This time," he said, "you look prettier 
than ever." We strolled along another path than the one on 
which we had walked on the previous day. He told me about 
Paris and about a newspaper appearing there, in which all sorts 
of perversions are advertised, but worded so that the uninitiated 
do not suspect the true meaning. He quoted a few illustrations: 
a woman, for instance, bien gantee et bien chaussee (properly 
gloved and shod) advertises, legons d'Anglais, but this means, 
in reality, something different than English lessons. I thought 
that very interesting. We sat for a short while on a bench 
along the road, while a number of strollers passed us by. I 
should have liked to sit there; it was on the brink of a river 
and very beautiful. But he arose and led me over a hill towards 
the dense forest. I was in danger of tearing my lace dress, and 
my hat, too, refused to stay in place. Nevertheless I followed 
him everywhere. When we reached the thicket, he embraced 
me passionately; we sat on the ground and he wanted me, but 
I was very much afraid and would not give in. I thought, 
I may become pregnant again; I thought it was stupid, and the 
baby had a big head; I want no stupid child and if it should 
have a big head, the delivery would be very difficult. In order 
to hold him off, I said that I am rendered pregnant as soon 
as I am touched, that my husband always uses contraceptives 
(though that was not true). He did not want to be held back, 
but I pressed my legs together so that he could not do a thing. 
Then he helped me arrange my toilette again, as he had dishev- 
elled me, and he very adroitly relaced my bodice, which he had 
unlaced. 
When we crawled out of the thicket, he told me we must 
pluck some blueberries so that any one who chances to pass by 
should think we crawled up there to get berries. I did pick a 
few berries, although I thought while doing so, that no one was 
likely to be strolling in that neighborhood. He asked me 
whether I want to go again to the same place in the afternoon 
with him. I told him, afternoons won't do because I must be 
with my husband. He said: "To-morrow is Sunday, and I must 
go to A.; the fact is, I came here but for a day." I asked him FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
113 
why he must go to A. on Sunday; did he have an appointment 
with some one there? and I asked him to stay over. 
In the course of our subsequent conversation he told me that 
he will yet possess me and he said: "I will do it to you and 
if you laugh at it I shall beat you as I would a naughty child."4 
Then we spoke about having children and he quoted the fol- 
lowing verse from Wedekind: Ein Seitenblick, des Bettes Planke 
kracht, das Weib seufzt auf, so wird ein Kind gemacht. (A 
side glance, the creaking of a bed-spring, a woman's sigh; a child 
is thus conceived.) Then he told me also a story by Wedekind; 
a peasant boy, full of passionate craving, enjoys his sweetheart's 
charms; but in the midst of his excitation and roused desire, he 
finds that he is not a man; so great is his anger over this dis- 
appointment that he rushes with a firebrand through the village, 
to prove to her that he is a man, and sets the whole village on 
fire. I said: "But it is nothing to her if the whole village burns 
down; he does not prove thereby that he is a man; it only shows 
that he is an incendiary." He found this comment on my part 
very remarkable and said: "You think in such realistic terms!" 
On this walk I told him also that during the first three years 
of our married life my husband had been impotent, and that he 
had been treated for it by a pupil of Prof. Freud. Presently a 
harmless peasant passed us by and he imagined that the latter may 
have seen us in the forest.5 I told him: "Surely, that man has 
other things on his mind; he may possibly figure how he could 
steal our pocketbook." Then I told him that I cannot meet him 
during the next day because on Sunday my husband does not 
take his baths. Then he mentioned, again, that his parents will 
wonder why he stays on, as he had come only for a day. On 
the impulse of the moment I said: "Let us all go to the Tan- 
nenkogel." I was thinking that this excursion would give him 
a pretext to stay on. He thought this was a good idea, but he 
said: "It can't be done to-morrow; there is a complication in 
the way; my brother is coming here to-morrow." Then he told 
me also that for the past ten years he has maintained intimate 
relations with a Variete dancer, that the woman lived in Vienna, 
that she had been at Paris with him and that she loved him 
very much. I asked him why he did not marry her, and he an- 
swered: "Because she is very poor." I said: "That is one more 
reason why you should marry her," and he retorted: "You are 
the first person to give me this advice; my mother told me, if 
I marry this woman she would disown me." PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
114 
We went back to the hotel. In the afternoon, when I came 
down for tea, he was sitting in the tea room with Mr. N., with 
whom he was playing cards, while the latter's wife again looked 
on. He greeted me from a distance. I went with my husband 
alone for a walk and felt a great longing for him. When we 
came for our evening meal, his parents were alone at their 
table and I kept wondering continually where he could be. I 
overheard his parents tell the waiter that he would be in later 
and I reflected that he had probably gone to the motion pic- 
tures. Suddenly the door opened and he walked in with a 
gentleman, an elderly lady, and a very beautiful young girl who 
was holding in her hand a bouquet of roses. The parents arose 
from their seats, they greeted each other and all seated themselves 
at a larger table. Then he walked up to our table and told us 
that his brother became engaged and brought along his fiancee 
and future mother-in-law to introduce them to the family, and 
that he had gone to the station to receive them. I said to him: 
"Your sister-in-law is very pretty, follow your brother's example." 
He told us also that his brother was six years younger than 
himself and that they did not look alike. I thought that en- 
gagement tremendously interesting. Shortly afterwards I went 
to sleep with my husband. Later, while in bed, I heard music 
and singing downstairs. 
Next morning it was rainy. I reflected that in such weather an 
excursion to the Tannenkogel was out of the question, anyway. 
When I came down to breakfast, the whole family, including his 
brother and the bride, were sitting in the breakfast room. In 
the day time the bride did not seem quite so beautiful, but she 
was elegantly attired in a silk gown, silk stockings and a hat 
with a veil. After breakfast he seated himself near me and my 
husband at our table and asked me whether he must devote his 
whole time to the bridal pair, as he finds it rather irksome. I 
told him that the couple would undoubtedly appreciate being left 
by themselves a little for a tete-a-tete. We talked of many things 
and he showed me his sketch book, with drawings from Marien- 
bad, also drawings of the bride, but poor ones, and rather uneven. 
He said he would like to draw my husband; he thought my hus- 
band had a very interesting head.6 He did so four times. The 
drawings were very poor, they made him appear older and more 
of an invalid than he was; my husband was beside himself over 
those drawings. Then I told him to sketch me, too, in profile, 
because I can be caught best that way. He sketched me very FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
115 
poorly; my husband said he would never have married me if 
I had looked so. But the drawing was not without resemblance 
to the original, for when he showed it to the waitress she rec- 
ognized me at once. 
Then I suggested that we go out a little, as it had stopped 
raining. My husband opposed the suggestion, but I told him, 
"I am coming right back," and flew out. Outside he said to me: 
"You are the most unmoral woman I ever knew; it is unbe- 
lievable how you fool your husband, but I find it charming; 
you are so much like Nora." 
We strolled down the street to the mill, which is the usual 
afternoon walk and where one always meets other strollers. He 
told me he knew that I have yet never been gratified during 
sexual intercourse, that I was still like a girl, and added that he 
was going to be the one to awaken my sexual feelings. He said: 
"That is why I am staying on here." I reflected, if that alone 
is why he remains here and then, after rousing my feelings, he 
intends to leave, what good is it to me to have my feelings roused 
only to be abandoned! I said to him: "If you do not love me, 
why should you want to awaken my feelings?" He said: "Be- 
cause it interests me psychologically!" I reflected: "If he does 
it, I shall at least know what it is like," and in that connection 
the thought came to me, "One moment of paradise is not too 
dearly bought if paid for with death." He asked me about my 
sexual relations with my husband and I mentioned a few humor- 
ous episodes, over which he laughed very heartily. We returned 
to the dining room for our meal. 
During the afternoon it rained and I remained in my room 
until around five o'clock. Before going down again, I dressed 
myself very carefully. I put on a silk gown, which I had not 
worn till then, because I had thought it was too elegant for the 
place, silk stockings and patent leather pumps, like the bride, and 
a plush hat which fitted me very well, and which I had also 
never worn before. When I opened the door, he was again 
standing on the stairway landing, close to my door. He said 
the dining room downstairs was frightfully warm, and the con- 
tinual company of his parents and of that bridal couple terribly 
tedious. We were standing together near the hall window; he 
gazed at me and said: "I shall yet sketch you in this hat!" And 
when I gleefully asked him whether he thought it suited me, 
he exclaimed: "Take it off." I said that I would not think of 
taking off a hat which fits me, because I did not want to disturb 116 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
my coiffure. But he insisted that I should take off my hat. 
Finally, I took off the hat for a few minutes, and immediately 
I put it on again. He said: "And if I should tell you to jump 
off the third story would you do it?" I answered: "You would 
not ask such a thing, it would be murder." Then I said I was 
going down to tea, and he requested: "Take off your hat again, 
and go into the restaurant without your hat." I did not want 
to do that, and thought, I would rather not go in at all. I walked 
over to the plaza fronting the hotel and stood there in the rain 
with my dog. I hoped he would go in without me. But he 
remained standing in the hotel doorway, watching me without 
saying a word, but clenching his fists. I struggled with myself 
for about five minutes, undecided whether to yield or not. 
Finally I decided that I would give in to him. I passed him by, 
without looking at him, and entered the hotel (although there was 
another entrance to the dining room) ; in front of the door lead- 
ing into the dining room there hung a looking-glass; I took off 
my hat, entered the dining room and, inside, I again put on my 
hat in front of another looking-glass. Then I sat down near 
my husband, who was playing a game of cards. 
After a few moments he came in; he looked so happy that 
I was glad I had done it. I said to him: "I have again put on 
my hat." He, in turn, asked me: "Why did you take it off?" 
I said: "I reflected that the wiser person gives in." "Would 
it not have been wiser," said he, "to take off the hat at once, 
instead of staying out in the rain like a stubborn child?" Then 
he sketched me with pastel crayons, full face; the likeness was 
very good; at any rate, incomparably superior to the one he 
sketched that forenoon, although the expression around the mouth 
was a little too sober, which was not correct of me at the time, 
as I was feeling very joyful. Meanwhile the rain stopped and 
without saying a word to my husband, who was engrossed in 
his card game and took no notice of anything, we went out. 
We strolled down to the mill, on the road we had gone over 
on our morning walk. We passed by a spot where soldiers in 
transit were camping. There he stopped and watched with 
much interest the soldiers, who were boiling coffee. I found it 
very uninteresting. A few steps further, he suddenly turned to 
me and said that I must fix my garter in front of those soldiers. 
At first I was not going to do it, but he reiterated, "You must!" 
so persistently that I stopped and did as he asked me. While I 
did so he stood between me and the soldiers so that the latter FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
117 
could not see me. As we continued on our walk I asked him 
why he always asked me to do unpleasant things, which I could 
do but reluctantly. I said to him: "Ask me once to do some- 
thing I like, for instance, to order an ice cream for myself in 
the evening." He answered: "That is no trick,-to do some- 
thing which one likes to do; one must do what one does not 
like." Then he said to me, suddenly: "Now, sit down on a 
stone here." He asked me to do something exceedingly disa- 
greeable. I was speechless; but I managed to say: "That I 
shall never do!" He stopped and said: "Then I won't walk 
with you any more." I walked on alone until I reached a turn 
of the road; that was some distance from him and it began 
to grow dark. I saw him standing on the spot where I started 
to walk ahead alone; he was looking at me, reclining on a thin, 
supple cane he carried in hand. Suddenly I sat on a stone which 
was lying on the road, but did nothing further. He promptly 
walked up to me and, when he reached me, he asked: "Did you 
do it?" I said "yes," although it was not true; thereupon he 
kissed my hand animatedly, beaming with joy. Presently he 
suggested that I do something else. I said: "That-never I" He 
said: "You are going to do it to-morrow morning; and if you 
refuse I shall spank you as I would a stubborn little girl." I 
was glad that, at least, he postponed it until "to-morrow," and we 
started to go back. He told me that at Prague he knew an 
elderly woman, around forty-five years of age, but who was still 
well preserved, and keen about men (that was his expression). 
This woman he met once at a gathering and he said to her: 
"When you go home to-night you will read in your prayer book 
while lying in bed, then you will masturbate." Fourteen days 
later he met her again and she told him that she had really 
done so. He said to me: "Do you know why I ordered her to 
read first in her prayer book? Because I wanted her thus to 
be transported back to her childhood, so that she would be sure 
to masturbate, as in her childhood." Then he told me that at 
a dance a woman once asked him for a kiss. He told her he 
was ready to bestow on her a greater pleasure and, gazing 
steadily at her, he suggested that he was having intercourse 
with her; she then thanked him, declaring that she felt a very 
keen gratification. 
He then tried the same thing on me, but did not succeed; 
I said that I did not feel anything. Then he asked me to shut 
my eyes; I shut my eyes and he said: "You cannot open them." 118 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
But promptly I opened my eyes again. At last he admitted: "It 
does not work with you." He asked me whether I have had 
the experience of feeling that my eyes clung to some one passing 
by. He told me that at Marienbad he passed by a woman on 
whom his eyes suddenly remained fixed; that the woman, who 
was with company, walked up to him and started a conversation. 
She was a countess, or a baroness; that same evening he met 
her again at the casino and gave her a kiss in the hotel lobby, 
in front of all the people. Then he told me, too, that last year 
he met a woman, also at N., whom he watched for three days; 
that she then walked up to him and, pressing his hand, said: 
"To-day, at last, I am. free; for three days I have been walking 
around with a pressure in my head; but to-day I am again free 
and in the morning I shall leave." 
Thereupon he asked me again whether I would do what he 
asked me yesterday; he wanted my promise that I would do it. 
I told him I would not do anything of the kind. He said: "If 
you don't promise that, I shall not talk to you any more." I 
retorted: "It will be only your fault." That made him angry; 
he walked at my side without saying a word. I was desperate. 
I tried to soften him again, saying: "It is tedious to have you 
so silent." He said merely: "I am not here only to amuse you." 
After walking for some time without exchanging a word, I could 
not endure the silence any longer; feeling I was the weaker one, 
I said: "What must I do?" He said: "You must ask my par- 
don." That, again, was something I did not want to do; I said 
I had not done a thing for which I need ask his forgiveness. 
But he insisted. Finally, I said: "What must I say?" He 
answered: "You must say, 'I am sorry to have troubled you.'" 
I repeated, like a parrot: "I am sorry to have troubled you." He 
asked me: "Will you do in the morning what I have told you 
to do ?" I answered: "Yes." Gazing tenderly at me, he kissed 
my hand with much feeling, exclaiming: "You love me!" I 
was very happy that I obeyed his whim; I found that game 
uncommonly delightful. Then he said, in a changed tone of 
voice: "To-night you will fall insanely in love with me; you will 
toss sleeplessly in your bed throughout the night, thinking of 
me, and during the night you will come to my room; the door 
will be open." I said: "To your room I won't come, but love 
you I do already; I need not fall in love with you only to-night." 
Then I asked: "Do you love me, too?" He answered: "You FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
119 
are but a child, and here to rouse me, but I can only love a full- 
grown woman." 
We spoke about suggestion and hypnotism. I was of the 
opinion that telepathically induced love was not genuine; that 
love must be a matter of free will. To that he said: "When you 
say anything like that you grieve me very much." I felt very 
sorry to think that I grieved him. We reached the hotel. Mean- 
while it had grown dark. After dinner he came to our table and 
said that a concert was being arranged, to be given for charity, 
in the hall of the larger building which was not then open, and 
that he would play the violin. I knew that the blond, stout Rou- 
manian girl would sing there and had invited him and his father. 
My husband said he would not enjoy climbing up the road back 
to the hotel at night, and we declined to go. I was very sorry 
because I should have gladly spent the evening in his company, 
and because I was jealous of the Roumanian girl, in whose 
honour he had accepted the invitation. We went to bed early 
and I could not fall asleep. I tossed around in my bed and 
could think only of him. It was Sunday night and I heard 
the local inhabitants returning home from the inns, in the midst 
of much noise and song. After twelve o'clock I heard him come 
home. He opened the door to his room very noisily, then he 
slammed the door back and forth very conspicuously a number 
of times. I knew that he meant thus to inform me of his return 
home and to remind me that he was expecting me. Sleeplessly 
I tossed in my bed this way and that way, reflecting that he 
was waiting for me, that it was my duty to come to him, that 
I was disobedient if I failed to do so; but I could not make 
up my mind fully to do it. Through the door crack I noticed 
that the light was burning in the hall. With one step across 
the hall I could be in his room. The thought attracted and enticed 
me; and for a moment I had a notion to jump out of bed and 
tell my husband that I was not feeling well, and that I must go 
out. Already I was reflecting whether to go with or without 
my shoes, whether to go out in my shirt, or put on a wrapper. 
But presently I thought that he must have fallen asleep and that 
he was not expecting me any longer. I kept to my bed, though 
I was tremendously excited, and until morning I did not close 
an eye. When I arose in the morning I had not slept a second; 
but I did not feel tired. 
When I came down to breakfast he was sitting with his family, 120 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
his brother and the bride. He walked up to me and asked: "How 
did you sleep?" I said: "Not a wink." He said: "Why did you 
not come to me?" I answered: "I did not know what to say 
to my husband, and I thought you were asleep." At that, he 
retorted: "You should have said to your husband that you must 
go out, and you should have waked me." Then he said: "What 
were you thinking about while you could not sleep ?" I answered: 
"I tossed around, thinking of you." Then he said: "I am tre- 
mendously excited now, and I know you are, too." I was truly 
excited to the highest pitch. Then he arranged with me that 
I should keep my seat at the table while he conducted his brother 
to the station and he would return promptly. When he came 
back from the station, he said: "Let us now go for a walk, but 
wait one moment for me, I must first retouch a sketch." And 
he went to another table where the Roumanian girl was sitting 
alone, and sat next to her. I read for a couple of minutes in a 
book; but I did not care to wait for him any longer and I arose 
to go out. When I reached the door, he jumped up and, running 
after me, he called out: "One word, Madam, where are you 
going?" I said: "I am going out." And he said: "Wait outside 
for me, I'll follow presently." I waited for about five minutes, 
then he came. We walked down a road on which we had never 
gone before, above the hotel; it was a winding road on which 
one could be seen from all sides. I said I must go back soon 
to attend to my husband's compress after his bath, and we will 
meet again at our usual try sting place. After we had gone some 
distance, he suddenly stopped and asked me: "What were you 
thinking of last night when you could not sleep ?" I answered: 
"I won't tell that." He said: "You must tell me, little girl; if 
you don't, I shall turn around and won't talk to you any more." 
I asked: "Is that meant as a serious threat ?" He stopped again 
and called out: "Are you again impudent to me?" That appar- 
ently impressed me very much, for I said haltingly, and under 
considerable resistance: "All night long I was thinking that you 
said to me that I was but a child and here only to rouse you, 
that you can love only a fully awakened woman." He said: 
"So you would like to be a fully awakened woman, that I may 
love you?" I said: "Yes, I would. If I should be roused, 
would that make me a fully awakened woman?" He did not 
answer my question. For a while he was absorbed in thought. 
Presently, gazing straight into my eyes, he exclaimed very im- 
pressively: "Tell me, this moment, how many times have you FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
deceived your husband ?" I said: "I won't tell." But even while 
I said that I was counting in my mind, then I asked him: 
"What do you mean by 'deceived,' the number of times I have 
gone the limit?" He said: "Yes." Thereupon I answered: 
"Four times." When I said that I broke out in spasmodic 
laughter. He asked me why I was laughing and I said: "I am 
laughing about the four men with whom I deceived my hus- 
band." He asked: "When did that happen the last time ?" And 
I answered: "Two days before we came here." We turned back 
and on the way to the hotel I told him voluntarily what had 
occurred between myself and Dr. H.; that he had treated me; 
that I learned to like him very much; and the affair about the 
love alphabet, two days before we left. He laughed very heartily 
about it, saying he must have been a very witty and entertaining 
man. On our way we met his father, with whom we exchanged 
a few words of conversation. Then he said to me: "I am con- 
vinced, father has seen us from below, and that is why he came 
up this way; probably he would like to start an affair with you." 
I was of the opinion that he followed us for moral reasons,- 
perhaps because he thought it was indecorous for us to be seen 
so much together. Then I said to him: "You will surely despise 
me now, after what I have just told you." He answered: "It 
would have been foolish of you to have remained true to your 
husband." 
Reaching the hotel, we sat on the front porch. I said I must 
now wait for my husband's return from the baths, in order 
to attend to his compress. I related to him further details about 
my relations with Dr. H. I said: Since I know you, I do not 
love him any more; I am very glad that you have freed me from 
him. He was very lovely, very handsome and very amusing, but 
he did not take me seriously. Then I told him the jest about 
the illustrated post card with the alphabet, which I had found 
so funny; my husband wrote that card and I only marked up 
the alphabet on the margin of it. He said to me: "You have 
the criminality of the child, you are not even aware of the sig- 
nificance of adultery." 7 Then I told him that I always talked 
with my woman friend about the doctor, but without giving his 
name, and that she thought I referred to another doctor, whose 
name was Guido, and that I made her think it was really Guido, 
a man whom I do not know at all. This mystification amused 
me very much; sometimes I myself thought that Dr. H. was 
Guido. He said: "A novel could be written around that; there 
121 122 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
is a plot for a novel in that." And he spun out a story, making 
out that Guido's wife discovers everything, his story ending 
with a duel. But I did not agree with that; I said, how that 
shall end, I do not know; the story is not ended as yet. In 
the course of this conversation, he also said to me: "Nothing 
is holy to you; you make me think of a boy lighting his cigarette 
in a church." That reminded me, I told him, that at school I 
often lit surreptitiously little incense burners so that the class 
room was suddenly permeated with the odour of incense which 
the teacher could not trace. 
My husband failed to return from his baths; he had never 
been gone so long. He said: "By the time your husband returns 
it will be too late, let us start out immediately after luncheon." 
I told him that I always stay in our room with my husband 
after the noon meal and that if I should suddenly change this 
habit he would notice it. Finally I said: "Let us not wait for 
him, it does not matter if, for once, I do not prepare his com- 
press." 
This time we left the hotel together and we went along our 
customary route to the forest. He led me again to the same 
thicket where the blueberry bushes were thick. I was afraid 
he would remind me of yesterday's promise. When we were 
in the midst of the bushes he kissed me squarely on the lips. 
Suddenly he exclaimed: "Do not laugh!" and gave me a light 
slap. With very serious mien I protested lightly: "Don't!" He 
gave me again a couple of slaps, while I kept protesting, in implor- 
ing tone: "Don't I" Then he wanted me to kiss his hand three 
times. I did this very willingly. Then he gave me a prolonged 
kiss on the mouth, half closing his eyes. Suddenly he exclaimed, 
"Look at me! Where are you looking again ?" Thereupon I 
turned my eyes steadily on him (without knowing, I had looked 
away, my gaze had wandered vacantly into the air).8 He pressed 
a prolonged kiss on my lips, shutting his eyes, and I loved him 
very much, and was very happy. Then we sat down on the 
ground; it was an incline; the place was very uncomfortable; 
he tried to do it to me, but he did not fully succeed; he could 
not properly penetrate me, and I was glad over that. 
When we came out of the bushes he ordered me again to 
pick and eat blueberries, although no person could be seen, far 
or near. 
When we started down on the road, which ran along a creek, 
he soaked his handkerchief in water and asked me to wipe FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
123 
my face with it. I did not know why he wanted me to do this. 
But I did it. Then he buried his face in the wet handkerchief 
and sniffed the aroma, saying it had a pungent odour. I wanted 
to smell it, too, out of curiosity, but he would not give me 
the handkerchief. 
Then we sat down on a bench on the shore of the little brook, 
near the outer edge of the forest, and it was wonderful. Pres- 
ently he said to me: "Show me your foot." I raised my skirt 
to my knee and stretched one leg. I wore very pale brown 
silk stockings and shoes to match. He gazed at my foot for 
a long time, then he said suddenly: "Enough," and I again 
straightened out my dress. As he did not compliment me for 
my legs, although many men had admired them, I recalled that 
he had once told me that he liked only stout legs. I said to 
him: "You find my legs too thin, isn't that so?" He said: "Yes." 
I asked: "The stout Roumanian girl's legs suit you better ?" 
He exclaimed: "At least they are straight, you are bow-legged." 9 
That alarmed me very much; theretofore I always thought that 
my limbs were handsomely formed and straight; but I reflected 
that a painter possibly has a more expert eye for such things; 
therefore, I must assume that my legs were somehow not straight. 
I said to him: "Whether I am ugly or handsome, I myself 
cannot tell, but I know that many persons have been attracted 
very much to me." He retorted: "What is there pretty about 
you?" I said, "I always thought that I had a very handsome 
figure." "What is there beautiful about a figure of 180 cm.?" 
"Only 164 cm.," I said. At that he broke out in roaring laughter, 
saying: "You take everything so seriously; do you really think 
me so smart as to have to take literally every word I say?" I 
asknowledged that I considered him extremely clever. 
Then we spoke again about the excursion to the Tannenkogel 
which we were planning. He said he would make up a party 
to go along with us. He thought possibly Mrs. M. would join 
us. I was of the opinion that she had come here for the cure 
and that the proposed excursion was too severe a tax on any 
one who had come here for the cure. He said he did not know 
anybody else whom he could ask. After some reflection I said: 
"Perhaps she will join us after all." He remarked at that: 
"You have said that very prettily;'sometimes your speech is 
charming. I like your manner of expression; it is so Viennese." 
As we neared the hotel and turned to the paved road, he said 
to me: "Would you be interested to know what is said about PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
124 
you by persons whom you don't know, even if it is not com- 
plimentary?" I thought he might tell me safely, I would not 
mind. He said: "When I came here and I asked my parents 
who you were, mother said, These folks are from Vienna, but 
the woman is a 'Pole.' That woman dresses so strangely; 
recently she wore a white gown which was too tight on her, 
the attire was downright provoking." I said: "Your mother 
thought that I was a Pole, perhaps because my husband is always 
seen playing cards with those Galicians." He asked me whether 
I was not really of Polish origin. I said: "My parents were both 
born in Vienna and so was I; my grandparents came from 
Moravia." 
He said I throw my feet too far outwards when walking,-that 
was not nice; also that I had curly hair. I said my hair was 
straight, but the hair dresser at N. had waved it poorly. 
He said: "You lack something to be a woman, I don't know 
precisely what. Then, too, you often walk close to me; a lady 
should always keep a certain distance." Then he told me also 
that the sketch he had made of me, and which my husband 
found so ugly, his family thought a very good likeness. And 
about the second sketch, which he had drawn that afternoon of 
me, and which I liked much better, his folks had said: "She 
would be satisfied if she were as pretty as she appears in 
this likeness." I asked: "Who said that?" and he answered: 
"My sister-in-law." I reflected, surely it was not she who said 
that, his mother must have said it. When we reached the hotel, 
I said: "I must go to arrange an appointment with the hair- 
dresser." We went together to the hairdresser. On the way 
he shouted, suddenly: "Don't throw your feet out so sharply." 
I turned my feet way in, so that they pointed towards each other 
at a sharp angle. At that he laughed, saying: "You must not 
exaggerate that way." Then he added, also: "You have a pretty 
gait after all, your step is so elastic." When we returned home 
he asked me what I would say to my husband when he should 
ask me why I did not wait for him, to prepare his compress.10 
I said: "I shall tell him that the compress does not do him 
any good." He laughed very heartily at that, remarking: "You 
said that very charmingly, it was so Viennese." 
In the afternoon the hairdresser came. Incidentally she said 
that I had such a handsome wardrobe, another customer, whose 
hair she dressed, had asked her about me, and had told her 
that I wore beautiful costumes. That woman had even de- FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
125 
scribed to her a couple of gowns of mine which she asked me to 
show to her. 
When I went down for afternoon tea it was raining hard. I 
sat near my husband, who gave me a couple of post cards, which 
had arrived by mail, addressed to me. Both cards were from 
my brother; they were already eight days old. He wrote me 
that my mother was ill, that the doctors found bronchial catarrh 
with inflammatory patches, and that many relatives were gather- 
ing at D. to see her.11 While I was reading that card "he" 
came into the dining room. I stopped reading at once and turned 
my attention to him. He said: "You have mail, let me not 
disturb you." Then I finished reading the missives. My husband 
was again playing cards. He said to me, "Will you play piquet 
or chess?" I said I didn't know how to play either. He offered 
to instruct me and thought I would learn chess more easily. 
We seated ourselves at a little table and he ordered a set. I 
found that a very pleasant pastime; the chess game did not 
interest me in the least, but for his sake I tried hard to learn. 
While we played, his mother12 sat alone at another table and 
turned her back to us. 
After we got through with one game, he asked me whether 
I cared to play another game, or whether I preferred to go out 
on a walk. As the weather, meanwhile, had cleared, I was in 
favour of taking a stroll. When we passed by the little park 
he asked me what I wanted to do: sit on a bench in the park, 
while he sketched the strollers, or walk up to the mill. I pre- 
ferred going to the mill. On the way he again compared me 
with Nora, saying that to me marriage was a pastime, a doll's 
house. I said: "I am not like Nora. I am as you had said 
I was at first." Suddenly he called out with much feeling: "This 
morning I watched you!" and added: "When I think of it, I 
grow very excited; you, too ?"13 I was also excited. 
He told me about his woman friend who was then living 
with her mother at Vienna, in very modest circumstances. He 
said he would like to make me acquainted with her, perhaps I 
could tell him what she lacks to be a lady. He told me that 
she belonged to a good family, but that her father had gone 
to pieces; she was a vivacious girl and, finding life with her 
mother too dull, she went into the Variete. I asked him whether 
she had any talent and he said: "She is very charming." He 
made her acquaintance when she attracted his attention on the 
street. While he was about to buy a bouquet of flowers for PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
126 
another woman she passed by the flower stand and, pointing 
to the flowers, he asked her which bouquet she liked. He bought 
for her the one she pointed out; thus he made her acquaintance. 
Afterwards he asked the waiter at the restaurant where she was 
taking her meals who she was, and the latter told him "from 
the Variete." For that reason he decided to avoid her. He 
feared she would prove too costly a toy, and he was very careful 
about money matters. But within a few days he received from 
her a letter suggesting an appointment. He received her in 
his studio and there, upon his insistence, she completely un- 
dressed. Her body showed the greatest care, as if she had 
been in the habit of going daily to the steam baths, and her hair 
was wavy and beautiful. He wanted to possess her, but she 
repulsed him. Then he told her that if she does not yield to 
him he would beat her; thereupon she gave herself to him. 
She was approximately of my age, he said. I asked him whether 
she was pretty. He said: "She is now badly careworn; no 
woman has shed so many tears." I told him that since she 
had devoted the years of her youth to him, he ought to marry 
her, for she could not find now another man. He said: "I have 
often asked women whether to do that, but thus far none has 
advised me to do it." I said that perhaps they were not un- 
selfish,-they may have been jealous. He said that was possible. 
Then he told me that he knew a very wealthy woman who liked 
him well enough to want to divorce her husband for his sake, 
but he did not encourage her to do that because he was afraid 
he would be impotent with her. I told him, I did not think 
that this was nice of him,-to seek to marry only a wealthy 
woman,-he did not need it.14 But he retorted: "I want to live 
only for my art, and not work at pot-boilers to supply a woman 
with money." He added also that his woman friend loved him 
for his own sake; that she cooked for him and helped him 
save. I reflected that I, too, would gladly do all these things 
for him, and envied his friend's good fortune of having enjoyed 
his companionship for ten years. He told me also that shortly 
before his vacation she and her sister visited him at his home 
town, where they stayed for eight days. During those eight days 
he did not touch her, because his folks had told him that, if he 
touched her, he would be a lost man. I thought that very 
cowardly on his part, and said: "You should have done it for 
her sake!" 
During this conversation we had reached the mill. When FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
127 
we passed by it we saw Mrs. M., with an elderly gentleman, 
and other groups from the hotel, sitting at different tables. I 
wanted to continue our stroll, but he said, "Everybody saw us; 
we had better go in." We sat at a table with Mrs. M., who was 
playing cards with the elderly gentleman. They played piquet, 
and he told me to watch how the game was played. My mind 
was distracted while I looked on; I was not interested and 
did not understand the game. Presently he asked Mrs. M. and 
the gentleman whether they would like to join us on an excur- 
sion to the Tannenkogel. I was very glad that he thought of 
it; the idea had slipped from my mind. Both accepted the in- 
vitation, and we arranged to start on the following morning, 
at ten o'clock. We agreed that we should eat there and I 
said I would arrange to obtain my husband's consent; he, too, 
could be driven over in the carriage which makes that trip 
daily, and join us there. The four of us returned through a 
charming forest path. When we started, Mrs. M. put on her 
gloves. He said to me: "See, the lady wears gloves even in 
the country." He had asked me that morning why I wore no 
gloves and I had told him that I never do in the country. On 
this stroll my little dog became very frisky and jumped playfully 
at him. He jumped back frightened and I said to him: "Surely 
you are not afraid of this little dog?" His answer was that he 
was merely afraid his clothes would get torn.15 I said I was 
very glad about next morning's outing; but suddenly the thought 
of the two postal cards, which I had received from my brother, 
came to my mind.™ I told him I heard that mother was ill; the 
postal cards were already eight days old; but, I added, if her 
condition had grown worse I should have surely received a tel- 
egram. I said: "Isn't that so? As I have received no telegram, 
is that not a sign that her condition has not grown worse?" His 
answer was: "You are like a child! You have said this so 
child-like!"17 
He asked me whom I loved most of all the people in the 
world, and I said, my brother. At the same time the thought 
occurred to me that he loves his mother best of all and that 
it was superfluous for me to ask him such a question. Then 
he said to me: "Often my wishes and longings are so horrible 
that they make me shudder; mother would be horrified if she 
knew about them." I told him he may tell me about them, but 
he refused. At supper I told my husband that we have arranged 
the excursion and he could be driven over to the place; but I 128 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
told him, too, that he would then miss his bath and that it would 
perhaps be better for him not to interrupt his cure; should the 
place turn out interesting I would surely drive out there with 
him on Sunday, when he had no bath. 
After supper he seated himself at our table; on that evening 
he retired early, as we did, and he kissed my hand in front of 
his door. When we entered our room my husband was jealous 
because I permitted him to kiss my hand?8 Throughout that 
night I was so excited that I could not sleep. I was afraid that 
rain may spoil our excursion. At six o'clock I arose to look 
out of the window and see what kind of weather we had. It 
was cloudy, but there was no rain. 
I arose, as usual, at eight o'clock. My husband made a 
weak attempt at dissuading me from going, saying that it would 
probably rain. I told him that if there was no rain at the start, 
I was going. I dressed in a blue costume with a white blouse, 
silk stockings and high laced shoes, and wore the blue plush hat 
in which he had sketched me. I took along also an orange- 
yellow wool shawl. It was half-past nine when I got ready. 
While I put on my hat I was looking out of the window and 
saw him speaking to a young girl whose parents had left that 
day and who remained to stay with a friend. While I was 
standing in front of the window he looked up at me. I went 
down to breakfast. My husband was sitting in the dining room 
and said that Mr. N. had already asked for me a number of 
times; he wondered whether I intended to go, as the dinner 
had to be ordered. My husband gave me two postal cards which 
had arrived for me. One of them was from my mother, written 
in her own hand. She wrote me that she felt slightly improved, 
but that she was still coughing throughout the night and that the 
cough interfered with her sleep. About my aunt, who was also 
seriously ill, she wrote that there was no improvement. The 
other card was from the lieutenant who wrote me under the name 
of "Melanie." That card contained allusions to certain episodes 
which had occurred during the previous summer and my husband 
asked me what it meant. I covered the matter by telling him 
a plausible fib. He believed everything I said. I had breakfast 
on the verandah of the hotel. Meanwhile the sun came out. 
"He" came toward me, saying: "I note by your shoes that you 
intend to take in the excursion." I asked him: "Are the shoes 
ugly?" (They were heavy leather shoes.) He said: "Show 
me what kind of stockings you are wearing." I showed him FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
129 
my silk stockings. He said: "The shoes are also pretty." He 
had his field glasses with him and I asked him whether they 
were the ones with which he looked into my room. He affirmed 
that, and allowed me to look through them towards the hill 
from which he had observed me that morning. Everything was 
very plain, even enlarged. I distinguished the individual leaves 
of a tree. I gave a parting greeting to my husband, who went 
to the baths. He told me not to come home too late. Then "he" 
said to me: "Mrs. M. is not coming, let us go alone." I said 
it was not yet ten o'clock; we must wait awhile; then we must 
go to the villa where she resides to call for her. I wanted to 
write a postal card first. I showed him the card signed Melanie; 
told him it was from one of the four with whom I had deceived 
my husband. I asked him to tell me from the handwriting the 
sender's character traits. For a moment he scrutinized the 
writing, then said: "This man inhibits his feelings very much, 
he is unhappily married,-a very fine man." Everything he said 
was correct. Then he said, smiling: "He was number-what?" 
I said: "Number four." He asked: "And I am number five?" 
I said: "Yes." He laughed and was very much amused at that. 
I began to write the postal card to my brother. While I wrote 
he went off. I could not continue; I made mistakes and could 
not finish the few lines. After a few minutes he came back 
and asked me: "Do you find writing easy?" I said: "Usually 
I write with great fluency, but to-day I am distraught." He 
said: -"I did not want you to write." I was very sorry at that. 
I kept writing until, with the greatest effort, I finished the card. 
My hand felt as if it were paralyzed and would not obey 
my will.19 Then Mrs. M. arrived, with the elderly gentleman 
who was to join us. We said we had begun to think they were 
not coming. She said her feet hurt and the gentleman had 
gastric pains; they would accompany us only a short distance, 
then return. We tried to prevail upon them to accompany us 
all the way. I said I wanted only to write the address but 
that I would go to the writing room to do it because I wanted 
to write the address in ink. As I was leaving he called after 
me: "Take care that you don't prick yourself with the pen." In 
the writing room, when I tried to write the address, my hand 
shook so that I could not steady it on the card. It was with 
supreme effort and exertion that I managed to write the address, 
so that I almost wept in my agitation. When that was over 
I went to my room to fetch my white kid gloves, which I had laid  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
130 
out but had forgotten.20 Then, going downstairs, I said: "I did 
write the address after all!" He asked me whether I had 
pricked myself with the pen. I said "yes," although it was not 
true.21 He wanted to see the prick, but I said I had my gloves 
on. At last we started. We reached the spot where the ascent 
is made for the Tannenkogel. On the way Mrs. M. and the 
gentleman again reiterated that they found the excursion too tax- 
ing and that they would turn back after accompanying us for a 
short distance. "He" said: "We must go through with the ex- 
cursion for we have ordered the dinner." Then, again, he won- 
dered what my husband would say if he should happen to meet 
Mrs. M. and the gentleman at the hotel who, he thought, were 
with us on the excursion.22 The two promised to tell my hus- 
band that we joined other company. I said the chief thing was 
for my husband not to think that we had gone out alone; I did 
not care about what others might think. He then tried to prevail 
upon me not to take along my little dog. He insisted I must 
leave it behind; he thought the dog would be in our way. But 
I insisted that I must take the dog along because it would be a 
hardship for my husband to look after it. After fifteen minutes' 
climbing our company fell behind and parted from us. I re- 
flected: "Alone, at last!" and: "It is done!" We strolled along 
the wonderful forest trail, slowly, leisurely, and he asked me 
why I liked him: was it because he told me the truth and did 
not flatter me, like the others? I said: "Not for that reason; 
but I like you because you are good-natured and foolish." 23 He 
said: "I am good-natured, that is true!" I added: "Also foolish, 
there can be no doubt of that."24 Then he asked me what 
attracted me to him in the first place, was it his striking appear- 
ance ? I said: not that, but I had noticed him gazing at me. 
Then I asked what made him notice me, and he said that he 
had watched me once eating fruit; I was devouring it like an 
animal. He remarked to the lady with whom he happened to 
converse at the time: "Look at that woman, she is devouring 
her fruit like an animal." I asked him what the fruit was, and 
he said greengage. I recalled that a few days previous to meet- 
ing him I did eat voraciously some greengage; also, that I had 
thus spoiled my digestion, so that I could not eat for a few 
days. Furthermore, after that Sunday when he had made his 
attempt at telepathy on me, I could hardly take any food; my 
appetite was entirely gone, and every time he asked me to do 
something which I did not care to do I had pains in the stomach; FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
131 
they were cramp-like pains. Once I told him about it and he 
thought it was the result of an unpleasant emotion.25 
Then we sat down on a bench. He asked me why I never 
addressed him in the intimate form "thou." He said: "Address 
me 'thou.' " I said: "Thou." Thereupon he said: "A phrase 
with 'thou.' " "Dost thou love me ?" I asked. Gazing very 
tenderly at me, he said: "Yes." 
We continued on our way, and presently he asked me to show 
him the precise spot where I had pricked myself with the pen 
point, after he had explicitly warned me not to prick myself. 
I said: "Oh, that is a misunderstanding, I did not really prick 
myself." And taking off my gloves I showed him both hands. 
He stopped and exclaimed: "So, then, you even lie to me!" 
And added, "Aren't you afraid that I would punish you?" After 
prolonged reflection I answered: "No!" He said: "But you are 
afraid that I won't talk to you, or that you will get your stomach 
pains." He asked me also whether I had ever been some one's 
bondswoman. I said "No!" but I wished I were. 
Meanwhile we had climbed quite high; we were passing through 
a beautiful forest. He said to me: "How shall we do it?"26 
I said it was immaterial to me; that was not the purpose of our 
excursion.27 After a few steps he left me on the path and, going 
into the thicket, he called on me to follow. He looked around 
for a spot; but presently he gave up the search, saying: "It 
is not pretty here!" And we returned again to our trail. After 
a few steps we went into the underbrush again to look for a 
convenient spot on which to rest. It was a slope, a bit of 
mountain trough. He said: "What shall we do with the dog?" 
My little dog was scampering around joyfully and was very 
much excited. I said: "Let us tie him to a tree by the chain." 
But the tree trunks were too thick. Finally I tied the chain to 
a tree stump. We sat on the ground, at some distance. The 
little dog tried to tear himself away to come to us; it was wild. 
First, we kissed. Then he asked me whether I wanted a child 
by him and I said: "Yes." He shouted in great excitement. 
I lay very quiet, glad to be impregnated by him. But sub- 
sequently I had the feeling that he had not succeeded, after 
all.28 Then, as we sat close together, he remarked: "To-day 
you have not laughed." I said: "How one changes in so short 
a time! A couple of days ago I did not want a child by 
you, and now I do, and it has not occurred to me to laugh." 
Suddenly I began to cry. He asked: "Why do you cry? Usually  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
you don't do it so easily ?" I said: "I don't know! The mood 
for it has come over me." He said: "Poor child, you have not 
known much love in your life." I answered: "How is that ? 
Have I not betrayed my husband four times already?" He said: 
"That was only mere chance." 29 
We talked about the child that may come and I said that I 
wanted a boy. He asked me whether I wanted a boy because 
I desired the child to be an artist, like himself. But I said that 
the children of famous men, in their turn, seldom achieve fame. 
It would be interesting, I said, if, in a couple of years, we met 
at some resort and I introduced him to his child. He asked: 
"Aren't you concerned over the responsibilities and expenses of 
having a child ?" Such unbelievable carelessness, he said, he had 
never encountered before. I told him that, as a little girl, I had 
always wanted to be a house porter's child so as to have no 
governesses. 
We continued our walk. We had been gone about three hours; 
it was very warm; he carried my jacket, shawl and parasol, and 
had given me his cane to carry. I was very thirsty, but there 
was no water to be had. We came to a clearing where women 
who had gathered blueberries were sprawled on the ground. 
He bought blueberries, which were given to us in a tin measure. 
He advised me to drink the juice for my thirst. I said I should 
prefer water; blueberries would only increase my thirst. There- 
upon he exclaimed, in a commanding tone of voice: "It is water, 
you are drinking water!" repeating this several times. But I 
knew it was blueberry juice.30 We gave some of the juice 
to my little dog who, being very thirsty, lapped it up greedily and 
showed a blue-stained tongue. The women asked two kronen, 
he gave them four. When he opened his pocketbook to take 
out the money a note fell out. He read it, remarking: "I had 
overlooked this entirely; my lawyer wrote me, and his office 
girl, a very pretty girl, enclosed a note giving me the address 
where she was spending her vacation." He asked me: 'Why do 
I attract so many women, although I am not at all handsome?" 81 
Gazing at him, I said, with conviction: "Yes, you are." But 
at that moment there came to my mind the Midsummer Night's 
Dream picture of Titania kissing very tenderly a donkey's head 
and exclaiming with much passion: "I kiss your pretty ears." 32 
Then we resumed our walk. I told him I was worried because 
he had behaved before Mrs. M. in such a way that morning 
as to show that he wanted to go on the excursion with me alone. 
132 FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
133 
He stopped, and, looking steadily at me, he exclaimed: "You 
stupid goose!" At my look of astonishment he said: "Pardon 
me, I am sometimes very ungracious; but if we go out alone, 
who is more compromised, you or I ?" I saw that he was right. 
Then he again said something about Nora. I asked him whether 
he knew a poem which Mela Mars recites, entitled, "Ibsen." 
He was not familiar with it. I told him it was about a miller's 
daughter who wanted to leave her husband because she was not 
understood, and the concluding line reads: "And what Ibsen's 
Nora dares, the miller's Lena can also do." I told him I was 
very fond of going to cabaret shows. Suddenly the post card 
I had shown him that morning came to his mind. He said: 
"I should not care to have a wife who receives letters signed 
Melanie." 33 Then he asked me whether he might write me over 
the signature, Mrs. M., after he returns to Vienna. I was very 
delighted at this idea; I told him to write me letters, but no 
post cards, and to write them in French, because my husband 
does not know that language; and that I shall tell my husband 
that Mrs. M. can write only in Hungarian or French. I told 
him also that the man who writes me under the pseudonym, 
Melanie, told me funny stories and sang for me by the hour 
whenever we went out together. 
At last we saw from a distance the inn at the top of the 
Tannenkogel. We entered a large and very beautiful dining 
room, where only another family was seated at a table, as it was 
already half-past two. In of the long walk I had no 
appetite, but was very thirsty; I should have preferred to take 
only ice cream; but there was none to be had. When the waiter 
brought us the bill of fare, we looked it over together. He said: 
"I shall order pork chops" and looked inquiringly at me. I said: 
"I should like veal chops." The waiter asked whether he should 
bring us blueberry tarts or cream tarts for dessert. He said: 
"I'll have blueberry," again turning towards me with an inquiring 
look. But I ordered cream tarts. When the food was served 
he suggested that we divide it. I thought it a charming idea. 
We divided everything between us, but I had no appetite. I 
was hardly able to swallow a thing.34 He said that I must con- 
sume the meat. Finally, he shoved the remainder of the meat 
under my plate, saying: "So you have eaten it all!" He said 
he felt very comfortable at the table; he found my company 
most pleasant. I felt very happy, and wished I could sit for life 
by his side at the table.35 He was also very attentive to my dog; 134 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
saw that it had enough to eat and drink, called it by its pet name 
and looked kindly at it.36 
He said that, if he should marry, he would conceive the mar- 
riage to be a circle, and would want his wife to be filled com- 
pletely with him, and traced a circle, thus: O. I said if that 
be so, my marriage may be sketched thus O. I said the tiny 
little point represented my husband. Then he said: "After all, 
your husband has made a good match in you. You are much 
younger than he; you come from a better family; also, you are 
more handsome." But I said: "It was a very poor match for 
him, for I am not faithful to him." He said, in this case, he 
could not expect faithfulness. I said: "Every husband has a 
right to expect that; loyalty is sworn to him before the altar." 
We went up to the watch tower, which was situated close to 
the hotel. First he asked me whether I cared for black coffee. 
We ordered the coffee. We were given a small cup and tiny 
portion of sugar. I was going to throw the sugar into the coffee, 
but he said: "Who wants to eat so much sugar!" I had to 
give half of it to the dog. When I began to sip my coffee, I 
said: "It tastes very bitter." There were two pieces of sugar 
on his plate. He said: "Give these also to the dog." I did 
so, and drank my coffee unsweetened. 
It was very windy in the tower. He wound my yellow shawl 
around my neck. As we looked through his field glasses, a 
majestic view unfolded itself before our eyes. He said to me: 
"Over there is the Saxon frontier." I said: "Let us go to 
Saxony." Then he also pointed out to me a hotel in Saxony 
where his parents had lived once. When we came down from 
the tower we were given green tickets; these were entrance 
cards, which we had neglected to procure. Some persons who 
had preceded us had left their admission tickets on the table. 
He asked for the three tickets, saying, as he pointed to me: 
"The lady collects tickets." Afterwards I said to him: "Why 
did you say that? They must think we are queer." He an- 
swered : "I wanted to secure three additional tickets so you 
can show them to your husband. He will think there were three 
other persons in our company." 37 
We returned to the inn. He asked me whether I would have 
a cup of coffee, or whether I preferred that we start back imme- 
diately. I did not care for coffee. He asked me whether we 
should 'return by the same path, or take some other trail. I said 
by all means, let us go back on another trail. We made the FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
descent on the opposite side of the peak. A blind beggar was 
standing at the entrance to the inn estate when we passed by. 
He threw the man two kronen, with the remark that the man 
was surely shamming. I asked: "How can you say such a 
thing? One can see that the poor man is really blind." There- 
upon he fetched another couple of kronen from his purse, saying: 
"To punish myself for having said that I give him this, too." 
We came upon a beautiful road; it was a straight road on 
the rim of the cliff, unfolding a majestic panorama. He was very 
lovely and joyful. He recited for me poems by Hoffmannsthal, 
and sang charming cabaret songs by Wedekind, which he had 
heard the author himself recite in Miinchen. Supremely happy, 
I could have thus gone on, and on, to eternity. I was not thinking 
about getting back, nor of the diconcerting fact that this ex- 
cursion must end; I was indescribably satisfied. Finally, we met 
a man whom we asked whether we were on the road leading to J. 
The man said we were going in the opposite direction; we must 
turn back; it was quite a distance to J. We had to retrace our 
steps on that road for almost an hour. Then he led me to a 
field and wanted us to sit down. But people passed by and we 
went back to the road. We saw many workers in the fields. 
Suddenly he pointed to stones which could be seen at a distance, 
across the fields, and told me that they were boundary marks. 
I was most anxious to cross the boundary.38 We walked towards 
the boundary stones. The field workers called out to us that 
crossing was forbidden. I said: "Only a couple of steps,-these 
workers cannot harm us." He called my attention to a road, 
which could be seen at a distance and where three soldiers were 
stationed in front of a little hut. We looked at them through 
our field glasses. The soldiers, who had already noticed us, were 
talking among themselves, and one of them was looking towards 
us through field glasses. I found that extremely interesting. I 
said: "What would they do if we crossed, would they shoot at 
us ?" I almost wished that it would happen.39 He said: "Let 
us go over to them and ask them for permission to cross." We 
had to make quite a detour in order to reach the open road, but 
I reflected that the longer the excursion lasts, the better. While 
we were going over, he asked me: "What would you rather do, 
go over the frontier, or have us try again to make a baby?" 
I said: "I want both, neither excludes the other." 40 He thought 
that perhaps it was getting late, after all. I said: "It will be 
all right,-first, I want to cross the boundary." When we came 
135 136 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
to the soldiers he spoke to them in Bohemian. Pointing at me, 
he said that I insisted upon it. One of the soldiers was ready 
to lead us across; he said we could do it only under his escort. 
I was happy! First we walked across a neutral zone. Then 
we reached the boundary stone. I went over the border, feeling 
well satisfied. We saw from a distance the Saxon soldiers, who 
were looking at us. But we did not go up to them. I looked 
around in all directions, using the field glasses. On the way back, 
I carried his field glasses while he carried my parasol and my 
shawl. The sentinel was very cordial with us when we parted 
and refused a tip. He asked me whether I did not think the 
sentinel a very fine specimen of manhood. I told him that I 
had not so much as looked at him; that persons of the lower 
classes do not interest me at all, and I never look at them. I 
said, when a woman of the people maintains relations with a 
man of higher class, or marries him, she assimilates herself much 
more easily; many famous actresses, who were the daughters 
of house porters, behave irreproachably, but with a man it is 
different. A man always remains coarse. He remarked: "A 
woman, too, in certain situations, shows whether she is of the 
common people, or a lady. For instance, when she is jealous, 
a common woman throws acid, or commits some other crime; 
a real lady never does such a thing." 41 I asked him whether 
he knew Lady Piccaver, whom some one had once assaulted 
with acid. He was not acquainted with her. I described her 
to him. I said she was slim, she had an attractive figure and 
a charming little face. He remarked that only large faces in- 
terested him; his woman friend, too, had a large face. I asked 
him what his friend's first name was. He said: "Nora." 42 We 
passed through a miserable little town, said to be the town with 
the highest altitude in this neighborhood. 
We struck the forest again. I stumbled once while walking 
and he gave me his cane, while he carried my parasol. Then 
he gave me a branch of blueberries which I held in my hand. 
He asked me: "Why don't you eat the berries?" I ate them 
all, conscientiously. After a while he asked me: "Why don't 
you throw away the empty branch?" I threw it away. There- 
upon he said: "Look, how thoughtless you are, you have thrown 
away also the chain!" 43 As a matter of fact I had thrown away 
the dog chain with the berry branch. He picked up the chain 
for me. He also picked off the ground a berry branch which FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
137 
some one had thrown away and held it out to me without a word. 
I only shook my head in silence.44 Then he told me about Paris, 
and about the prostitutes there, much that interested me. He 
told me there were all kinds of prostitutes: some who sit only 
in cafes, some who only frequent the motion picture houses, some 
who are met only in the subways, and others who are seen only 
on the boulevards. There was an unlimited supply for every 
taste. Then he told me about the special brothels, called pouffs. 
These are quiet, unobtrusive residences. Before entering, some 
one whistles to signal when the stairway is clear. One is then 
received by an elderly lady, around forty years of age, in whom 
one can have confidence. You tell her your special wishes, if 
you have any, and about ten women troop in, all beautifully 
coiffured and naked, except for an elegant evening mantle thrown 
over the shoulders. One chooses the woman which appeals to 
one's taste. Then the pair go to a suite of rooms. Every room 
is also provided with a bide for gentlemen, and each prepares 
separately his or her toilette. He told me, also, that the first 
time he had intercourse with a woman it happened at a Dutch 
sea resort. Strolling through a poor quarter of the city, he saw 
a woman standing in the doorway of a dirty house. He followed 
her into the house and she undressed herself. I asked: "Did 
she undress herself at once ?"45 When I said that he gazed 
at me with an expression of astonishment, and ceased talking 
about it. Then he told me that he recalls having had sexual 
feelings at three years of age, while he watched a servant girl 
cleaning windows. He was sitting on a little stool, near the 
window, and he looked under the girl's skirt.46 I told him that 
I was very stupid about such matters and that I believed in the 
stork story until my twelfth year. At eighteen years of age I 
still believed that a kiss may bring a child. Then I told him 
that when I was a child I had a French nurse who had a baby 
with father. He said: "You see, your levity is hereditary, as 
with Nora" I said: "Mother did not care at all." And he 
remarked: "That is even more immoral." 47 
He told me that sometimes he enjoys coarse and vulgar talk. 
We were in the thick of the forest and it was already getting 
dark. Suddenly he said: "Go ahead, I am also going to pipi 
now." I went as far ahead as possible and then he called: "Dora, 
viens!" I acted as if I had not heard him, but he whistled and 
again called me. Then I turned around and walked slowly back. 138 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
He was standing in the bushes and calling me all the time; I 
had to go quite close to him.48 When I reached him he gazed at 
me with a passionate, insane look in his eyes and asked: "Can 
I be seen?" Looking straight at him I said: "No." 
Then he asked me to kneel down. I kneeled, my face touch- 
ing the ground. ********** At that moment I did not 
know what was going on, being insanely roused, and I seemed 
to have lost consciousness. When I arose I spat out.49 My 
mouth was full of earth and dried pine needles. After I re- 
arranged my toilette we continued our walk. After taking a few 
steps we stopped again, and I looked at him in a very happy 
frame of mind. I asked him after a while: "Now are you going 
to leave?" He asked me, why? I reminded him that he had 
told me he was staying on to rouse my senses, and that thereafter 
he would go. Then he asked: "Shall I stay on?" I said: "Yes." 
He asked: "How many days ? I cannot stay here indefinitely." 
I said: "Three more days and then again, always, one more 
day." To this he said: "Very well, I'll stay on, but, I tell you 
beforehand, there is going to be no romance." 50 I answered: "I 
am not thinking of it at all." 51 I actually believed so then. I 
was supremely happy. At the time, I thought neither of the 
future nor of the past. I had but one wish, and my one wish 
was that he should stay another day, and he said he would stay. 
Meanwhile it had grown very dark and it began to rain. Com- 
ing out of the forest, we saw from our height a hotel in a new 
location. He said: "It would be nice to go there, take a bath 
together and go to sleep." I remarked: "One can bathe alone," 
and resolved to take a bath as soon as we got back to the hotel.52 
Then he told me very many jokes, among them salacious ones, 
and I also told him a few I knew. He told me also that he 
painted once, in the nude, a girl belonging to a good family. I 
asked him whether she was pretty. He said that she was not, 
and that she had not allowed him to touch her. I asked: "But 
why did she go to you ?" He answered: "It was a new sensation 
for her." 
At last we reached the village road of J.; we had to walk 
downhill for about half an hour. As we passed a baker's shop 
he called my attention to the cakes in the show window and said 
he liked to eat such things. I said to him: "But these are 
Fattinger's dog biscuits." There were also some colored candies 
in the window and I told him that I liked them because as a 
child I was very fond of eating them. I said: "The more colors FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
they have the better I like them; I always called them 'Scotch' 
candy." 
As we approached the hotel his nervousness gradually increased. 
He had no watch with him, and every few minutes he asked me 
to look at my watch. The village road, he said, seemed to him 
on this occasion longer than ever. We discussed what I should 
tell my husband. I told him that I never decide in advance, but 
that at the decisive moment I always think of the appropriate 
thing to say. He said facetiously that if he should ask who it 
was we had along with us, we would tell him: a family from 
Germany residing here; a mother with her two daughters and 
a son. He asked me so often what time it was that towards the 
last I told him the time without looking at the watch. I told 
him that my husband was also a telepathist; he, too, could always 
tell the time without looking at a watch. He asked: "Is that 
why you married him ?" I answered: "No; I did not know it 
at the time." Then he said: "You agree with everything I 
say, you take everything I say in earnest; why don't you once 
say to me, 'You are an ass.' " I told him that I cannot say 
this to him because I do not believe it.53 Then I said: "I am 
glad it is raining, at least there won't be so many old ladies 
sitting in front of the hotel to see us coming back." He seemed 
very pleased at that and said: "You have respect for the old 
ladies." Then he told me that I ought to maintain closer social 
intercourse with women; I ought to get in touch with some 
elderly woman in the place and talk things over with her; I ought 
to criticise him occasionally so as to allay any suspicions that 
there was anything between us.54 I said: "That I cannot do; 
I cannot speak ill of you." 
At last we reached the hotel. From a distance I saw his 
mother's maid looking out of his parents' window and I said: 
"There is the maidservant looking out, I don't like her I" He 
said: "She, too, is jealous of you!"56 I asked: "Has she any 
right to be?" 
When we passed by the dining room I saw my husband inside 
playing cards. I nodded to him to make him note that I was 
back, but I did not go inside. I said I was going to wash and 
change my attire. He remarked: "I shall stay as I am." When 
we entered the hotel the whole Roumanian family were standing 
in the hall with a gentleman. I found it very uncomfortable to 
pass them in my disarranged attire. In our room I rang at once 
for the maid. I asked her whether the bathroom and water were 
139 140 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
heated with gas or coal and whether I could take a bath before 
dinner. She said that coal fire was used and that it was too 
late; that it took a fairly long time to heat the bath. 
I asked her to prepare a bath for me for the following morning 
at eight o'clock. Then I washed myself thoroughly, cleaned my 
teeth,56 rearranged my coiffure, and put on new underwear, new 
stockings, shoes and a new dress. While I dressed I had the 
feeling that my menstruation was coming on. I reflected, it was 
too soon, but a fatiguing excursion on foot sometimes brought 
it on earlier. I thought, if I should really get the flow during 
the night, I could not take my bath in the morning. Therefore 
I wanted to ask the maid to inquire in the morning whether she 
should prepare the bath for me. But I could not find the girl; 
I asked the servant to convey my request to her. Then I went 
downstairs for dinner. As I descended the two steps leading 
from the high door to the dining room he was already seated 
in his place and he looked at me with keen interest. I walked 
directly over to Mrs. M., greeted her very affably and told her 
about the excursion, saying that it had been very beautiful. Then 
I seated myself next to my husband and I told him that we had 
crossed the boundary and that it had been wonderful. After 
dinner all his company went to the motion pictures. He had 
gone up and returned carrying his overcoat over his arm. He 
had changed his clothes, although he had told me that he would 
not do so. I thought he was also going to see the motion pictures. 
The Roumanian women were in that company, also the girl who, 
he had told me, would come to his room if he wanted her. 
But he did not go with them; instead, he seated himself at our 
table. He asked me whether I ate my dinner with appetite. 
I said, with but little. He remarked: "But you did eat. I 
noticed that when the table was cleared away there was nothing 
left on your plate." I told him that my husband consumed 
everything, including my portion. But I said that I was not 
tired at all. Presently the waitress came and told him that 
the party in the other room requested him to join them at cards. 
It was the gentleman with whom he played continually before 
he became acquainted with me, and his wife, who always looked 
on. I thought it very extraordinary that they should call him 
away from us by a message through the waitress. He said 
good night to me and added: "You will be no longer tired to- 
morrow." 
The second room was higher and we could look into it from FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
141 
our place. He sat directly facing me. As soon as he took his 
place the gentleman rose from his seat and went out, leaving 
him only with the lady. The gentleman did not come back for 
a long time. I reflected, if they were in such a hurry about 
the card game, why does he leave now instead of playing?57 
I pretended to read the newspaper, but kept looking over at 
him and the lady. Presently he noticed me. I observed how 
intently he was watching me. Then I arose and said I was going 
to retire. My husband came along with me. On reaching our 
room I rang again for the maid and told her once more that 
she must ask me at seven o'clock whether to prepare the bath 
for me. 
As I lay in bed I could not sleep, in spite of my fatigue. I 
was tremendously excited, thinking over every word which we 
had exchanged. Towards 12 o'clock I heard him come up with 
the gentleman and the lady. Although it was a late hour and 
there were many patients in that place they made a frightful 
noise on the stairway. Then they stood in front of my door, 
speaking in Bohemian, which I could not understand; then they 
ran back and forth through the hall laughing loudly. I did not 
know what that noise meant. Finally I heard him say "rukul- 
liham," and then there was quiet. 
I tossed sleeplessly in my bed. I felt feverish; and in my 
mind I went over again every detail of our excursion. Suddenly 
my husband awoke and said he had had a pollution. That was 
something which had not happened to him for months, or even 
years. I asked him what he dreamed. He said he dreamed 
that a woman was kissing him on his mouth. At that I burst 
into such loud laughter that I was afraid N's parents, who slept 
next door, would be awakened by my noisy laughter. 
I was likewise sleepless through the rest of the night. I kept 
thinking only of him and rehearsing every word which we had 
spoken. At seven o'clock the maid knocked at the door and 
asked me whether she should prepare the bath. I asked her 
to get the bath ready. At eight o'clock she knocked again and 
said that the bath was ready, but that I must use the first floor 
bathroom, because the third floor bathroom was out of order 
and the bathroom on the second floor was already reserved for a 
gentleman. I found that very disagreeable. On our floor the 
bathroom was across from my door, adjoining his room, and I 
could have gone to it in my dressing gown. I told the maid that 
if I had known I had to go downstairs I would have given up  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
142 
the idea. I should have to dress and do up my hair specially 
to go to the bathroom inasmuch as one always meets people on 
the stairway. She told me the bath was ready and I only had 
to throw a coat over my robe to go downstairs. I got up and 
put on only a shirt, a rose house robe, the mantle, and low 
shoes without stockings; I also did my hair up a little. I ran 
quickly down to the bathroom, without meeting any one on the 
stairway. The first thing I noticed when I entered the bathroom 
was the absence of a thermometer. I wanted to ring for one, 
but there was no bell cord in the room. I put my hand in the 
water. It seemed to me very hot. I took off my things and 
stepped in. When I was in the tub, the water seemed to me 
so hot that I decided to turn the faucet marked "cold water." 
But the water that flowed was hot, instead of cold. I tried to 
turn off the faucet, but could not do it. Terrified, I jumped 
out of the tub and tried again to turn off the faucet. I turned 
on the other faucet; but the flowing water, again, was hot. I 
crawled back into the tub. I had hardly time to sit down when 
the stove began to sizzle, and steam came from the spray. I 
jumped out of the tub and the noise ceased. I thought to myself: 
"He" does not want me to take a bath, he has bewitched the 
bathroom. But, I reflected, I shall bathe just the same, and I 
crawled back into the tub. As soon as I immersed myself in 
the water, the stove again began to sizzle and boil, hot water 
started to flow from both faucets, the spray gave forth steam, 
and I thought the water in the tub was about to overflow. I 
jumped out once more. The moment I was out of the tub 
everything was all right again.58 I wiped myself a little with 
the bath towel to get ready to call the maid, since there was 
no bell; I was determined to take the bath, in spite of his will 
to the contrary.59 I turned the knob and with the door slightly 
ajar I called the maid. But only the first floor maid came in 
answer to my call. She said that the third floor maid had pre- 
pared the bath; and that she would call her for me. I admon- 
ished her: "But be very quickI" A long time passed, according 
to my reckoning, but neither came. Finally, I put on my shirt 
and robe. I ran upstairs barefooted and very hurriedly because 
I was afraid of meeting some one on the stairway; I wanted 
to go to my room to ring for the maid there. When I reached 
the door to my room I found it locked. I recalled only then 
that I had left the key in the bathroom. In an insane frenzy 
I rushed down again the two floors and tore the bathroom door FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
143 
open: at that moment my eyes fell on a bell rope which was 
hanging directly over the bathtub. I shook the rope, ringing 
the bell with enough force to rouse the whole establishment. 
At that moment some one else also rang vigorously. I thought 
that it was "he"; that now he, too, was ringing, to come, at last, 
to my aid. Both maids rushed into my room at once. I shouted 
at them, very discourteously: "High time you showed up, or the 
hotel would have floated away into the air." They asked what 
was the matter. I said: "The water is too hot, there is no 
thermometer, the faucets can't be turned off, both give off hot 
water, and the stove is ready to explode!" I broke down crying 
in front of the two maids; very much abashed, I told them that 
I became so excited because they had failed to come when I 
called them. The maids laughed; and one of them turned on 
the cold water. I told her that the water in the tub must have 
cooled off; that she had better turn on the warm water. She 
did so. I asked her to stand by until everything was in order. 
I thought, perhaps the water in the tank had also cooled off 
meanwhile and I stuck my hand under the running faucet. 
Quickly I withdrew my hand, for I had scalded myself across 
all the fingers as well as under the marriage ring.60 I exclaimed: 
"Oh, now I have burned myselfI" The two maids laughed 
stupidly. The burn was very painful. At last they turned off 
the faucets. Everything was in order. They stepped out. I 
plunged into the tub again. Nothing happened. I reflected: 
after all, I have managed to get my bath, against his will. 
Though I did not tarry long in the tub, as it was late, the bath 
quieted me completely. Then I went to my room, to dress, 
without meeting anybody on the stairway. I put on the same 
underwear 61 which I had worn during the excursion, although 
on the previous evening I had changed it for fresh underwear. 
I put the same costume on also and the same hat, although I 
had a large choice of other clothing in my wardrobe. I changed 
only my blouse, and my shoes and stockings. I also rearranged 
my coiffure, although I had done up my hair before going down 
for the bath. I did everything very slowly. I did not seem to 
be at all in a hurry to go downstairs. I tarried deliberately. 
I was very angry at him because he had tried to prevent me from 
taking my bath.62 
When I, at last, went down for breakfast, it was already ten 
o'clock. My husband was waiting for me and reproached me, 
saying that he had asked me specifically to come down promptly 144 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
for breakfast and to bring him something he wanted to take along 
with him to his bath. The mail had brought me a post card 
from my mother and a letter from a woman friend. My husband 
asked me to fetch him at once that which I had forgotten to 
bring along with me. Instead of using the elevator I walked 
up the stairway, holding the card in my hand and reading the 
message from my mother. On the stairway I met him. That 
surprised me. Usually he had his breakfast as early as eight 
o'clock. Meeting him thus on the stairway while reading a 
postal card, instead of going up on the elevator, I imagined, 
was also the result of hypnosis, or of one of his telepathic ex- 
periments ; I thought that on the previous day he had commanded 
me, without my knowledge, to do so; and that I had now carried 
out his command. When he saw me he smiled joyously and 
asked me how I slept. I answered: "I haven't slept a wink 
and I can't tell you how angry I am with you." Then I went 
to my room to fetch something for my husband and brought it 
to him. On passing the buffet I ordered coffee. The waitress 
told me, however, that when she saw me coming towards the 
dining room she ordered chocolate for me, because I took choco- 
late every morning. I said that if it had been ordered already 
it did not matter. Then I took the dog out of doors. 
When I returned to the dining room my husband was already 
gone. As it was late, there were only a couple of children at 
one table. My breakfast was ready for me at a little table; it 
was coffee; and across from it, at another little table "he" was 
sitting with his coffee before him, smiling. At that moment I 
had the feeling of witnessing a stage scene; it seemed to me 
as if everything had been arranged beforehand and I thought 
of: "Le lendemain." I started to read the letter which I had 
received from a friend. He called over to me, asking me, in 
French, whether the letter was from Melanie. I told him, also 
in French, that the letter was from Nelly, a woman friend. I 
said: "Une amie feminine." He corrected me; he said that the 
correct expression was: "Une amie femme." The letter being 
very amusing I smiled over one passage of it. He called to 
me to look at the game the children were playing at another table. 
At once I stopped reading and looked over, although I was not 
at all interested and one could not see at that distance what card 
game the children were playing. Then he arose, stepped over 
to the table and asked: "What are you playing, children ?" The FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
three children exclaimed in a chorus: "Black Peter!" At the 
moment when he addressed the children, asking them what they 
were playing, I felt an infinite liking for him; the tone of his 
voice was so kind and cordial. I thought: only a good and kindly 
man speaks thus to children. 
He came over to my table and asked me whether he may read 
the letter I had received. I told him he might, and asked him 
to read my friend's character from her handwriting. After 
reading the letter he said: "This person is unbelievably childish; 
her style is that of a four-year-old child. She is envious and 
spiteful; and she has a sister. She is a spendthrift and she is 
superficial; never confide in her any secret." I remarked: "What 
you say is true; but she is also very pretty, she can paint very 
handsomely, and she is true to her husband; she loves her 
husband very dearly." At that he said: "One can see that she can 
paint, but if she be true to her husband, it is not through love, 
but from other motives; moreover, she has had an adventure 
before her marriage." I told him that I knew nothing about 
that, as I was not acquainted with her at the time; but she told 
me that Baron Rothschild had once been introduced to her and 
that, I believe, was the social acme of her life. Suddenly he 
exclaimed: "To-day you are bewitchingly beautiful!" That an- 
gered me; I said: "It is immaterial to me!" Then he asked 
me to tell him what happened in the night and during that morn- 
ing. I said: "I won't tell you; you know it very well, and it is 
entirely your fault." He answered: "If you don't tell me at 
once, you won't be able to swallow the morsel of food you have 
in your mouth." I was unable to swallow; I had the feeling 
that something was constricting my throat; I couldn't open my 
jaws; and the food was rolling around spasmodically in my 
mouth. I began to weep, although I saw that the two waitresses 
were looking at me, and with difficulty I managed to ask: "But 
how can I speak so long as my mouth is full?" Then he said: 
"Swallow first, then tell me everything." I swallowed with great 
difficulty and then I told him: "I did not sleep a wink throughout 
the whole night." He said: "What were you thinking about? 
Did you go over again, in your mind, through all the details of 
the excursion?" I answered: "Yes; and I heard you talking in 
Bohemian in front of my door at midnight; why did you run 
back and forth so much, and why did you make so much noise? 
Did the lady go to your room?" He answered; "No; but I told 
145 146 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
the lady, in jest, that I would knock at the door of the young 
girl whose parents had left, and I facetiously acted as if I was 
about to do so; that was all." 63 
Then I told him what happened in the bathroom and said: "It 
is surely your fault, you have tried to bewitch the bath and I 
have also burned myself; surely, that, too, was your will." He 
exclaimed, reproachfully: "How can you believe such a thing I" 
and added that a person may get scalded also with cold water. 
He asked me to pour a little water on my hand. I did so. Then 
he asked me whether the water was hot or cold. I said: "Cold." 
He said: "Now it is warmer." I said: "No." Then he asked: 
"Is it warmer now ?" And I answered: "Of course, it is warmer, 
for my hand is warm I" Then he asked me to stick my finger 
into the glass of water and I did so. He exclaimed: "It is hot, 
is it not true, it is hot!" But I insisted: "No, it is cold!" I 
had the feeling that I must contradict him in everything.64 
I told him also that, on account of the bath,65 I had been 
so angry at him in the morning that I would have preferred not 
to have come downstairs at all. I had deliberately taken a long 
time to dress so that my husband was angry because he had spe- 
cifically asked me to come down early to breakfast. At that 
he laughed, saying: "So, your husband wanted you to come down 
early this morning!" 
His father joined us at the table. He greeted me and re- 
marked: "Look, you haven't touched your breakfast!" For the 
first time I noticed that I had not eaten a thing. I said: "The 
coffee is cold, shall I give it to the dog?" He said: "Yes." I 
gave my coffee to the dog and threw him also my portion of 
the buttered bread. The father remarked: "You are giving away 
all of your buttered bread." I said: "Yes, I am not hungry 
at all." 66 
Then he told me, he heard we had crossed the boundary yes- 
terday and he asked me whether it was interesting, whether the 
air in Saxony was different and whether I had put one foot on 
Saxon soil and the other on this side of the boundary. I said: 
"No, I went all the way across." 
When his father left, I asked him: "Why did you tell your 
parents about crossing the boundary? They are laughing at 
me!" 67 
He said that he had to tell them something to explain our pro- 
longed absence. Then he said, suddenly, with a smile: "Think 
what I dreamed last night! I dreamed that I gave Mrs. M. a FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
147 
prize for swimming-one thousand kronen; wasn't that comical ?" 
He laughed heartily over that, but I did not find the dream 
very comical. 
Then we decided to go for a walk and I asked him whether 
he thought it would rain, and whether I ought to take along 
an umbrella. He said: "No, that is not necessary; we shall not 
go far to-day." And then he added: "There is a double sense 
to that, 'we shall not go far,' isn't that so?" 
After walking along for a short distance, it began to rain. We 
sought refuge under the colonnades. As we were standing close 
together, under that cover, he suddenly said to me: "Now I like 
you, I really do like you at this moment." I answered: "What 
good is it to me, if you do like me for a passing moment?" Just 
then, his mother, returning from the baths, passed us by in a 
carriage and we stood so as to remain unobserved by her. Then 
we looked into the shop windows. He called my attention to 
some embroidery and asked me whether I liked it. I said: "No, 
it is not pretty; it is not genuine. He said: "But it is handwork," 
and I replied: "But it is not antique." 
He wanted to buy fruit and asked me whether I cared for any 
greengage. I did not care for any. Did I want cherries? I 
said: "I do not want any fruit." He said that he would buy 
some and that I must eat it. I said that I shall positively not 
eat it. He was already stepping into the store when I said that, 
but he turned around in the doorway and made a strange sign 
with his hand. At that moment the spot on my hand where I 
had scalded myself while bathing that morning pained me again. 
It pained me as badly as at the moment when I had scalded my- 
self.68 
When he came out of the store with a package of cherries, I 
said to him: "The hand has started to burn again, will it cease 
paining if I eat the cherries?" He said: "Yes." I showed him 
my hand; a red streak showed squarely across the fingers and 
under the marriage ring there was a blister. He said: "You 
must take off your ring." I removed it, with difficulty, and 
replaced the ring on the little finger. He remarked: "Look out 
that you do not lose it." I said: "I won't lose it," and crooked 
my little finger so that the ring could not fall off. I ate the 
few cherries as he handed them to me. It began to rain very 
hard so we returned to the hotel. At the hotel entrance I said 
to him: "This morning when I took my bath and the stove began 
to hiss and the water was running hot from both faucets, I 148 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
thought of Goethe's witchmaster" (specifically, of the passage: 
"I summoned the spirits, and now they would not let me free"). 
He remarked: "This is just like you, instead of turning off the 
faucet, you think of the witchmaster." I said: "When the two 
maids burst into my bathroom together, I was so excited that 
I scolded them and I told them that the hotel will presently 
float away through the air." He remarked: "Did you really say 
that the hotel would float away through the air? It seems to 
me, you would like to get away from the hotel." Previous to that, 
as we passed by a bookstore, he had called my attention to a book 
by Strindberg, entitled, "Book of Love." He said: "I shall buy 
this to read on my journey; I am leaving to-morrow." 
I had not answered him, but in my silence I felt worried 
because he spoke again about going away, when he said to me, 
with emphasis: "Read Strindberg, dear Madam!" I felt also 
insulted to be thus formally addressed, as Dear Madam, after 
what had happened between us on the previous day. I said that 
I had read but one book by Strindberg, "Der Sohn einer Magd." 
As we walked towards the dining room I said I would first 
write some letters; I wanted to write to my mother. He sug- 
gested that I write after luncheon, when he would also be writing. 
I actually permitted myself to be prevailed upon to postpone 
writing, although I told him that if I wrote in the afternoon it 
delayed by one day the delivery of the letter at Vienna. 
In the dining room we found Mrs. M. with the elderly gentle- 
man. "He" held up the bag of cherries towards me, saying: 
"Take as many as you care to eat." I reached with my hand 
into the bag and drew three cherries. He put the bag of cherries 
on the table and spoke to the two Roumanian girls and the other 
two girls who had just come in. Another gentleman joined us 
and Mrs. M. introduced him to me. Mrs. M. wanted to take 
some cherries; that made it very unpleasant for me; I told her 
that they belonged to Mr. N. I was afraid that he would think 
I had taken some of his cherries.69 
Presently he joined us again and said that another concert 
would be given that afternoon in the assembly room of the larger 
building. He asked me whether I cared to go and said that the 
girls were going. I said I would not go; but Mrs. M., very much 
in favour of going, tried to persuade me. Then my husband 
arrived and I went upstairs with him to attend to his compress. 
In our room I laughed, without knowing it; my husband asked 
me impatiently what I was laughing about. I said I happened FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
149 
to think of something comical. Suddenly he reproached me, say- 
ing he thought it was strange that I should come down so late 
for breakfast and in Mr. N.'s company, at that. He thought this 
looked strange. I told him he knew very well that I was taking 
a bath; and that he could have very well checked up to see what 
I was doing. 
Suddenly I noticed that I was unwell. I felt very badly and 
uncomfortable; moreover, it made me very unhappy, for I re- 
flected that he was going away on the following day and that 
we would have no opportunity for intimacy any more. He had 
told me also that he was waiting only for his laundry; that 
forenoon he had mentioned that he was still wearing the shirt 
he had worn on our excursion and he found that very unpleasant. 
I had said to him: "But your shirt looks quite clean!" 
On going downstairs I stepped into the writing room first, 
to write mother a card: only a couple of words, but it was 
terribly difficult for me to write them. As on the previous day 
I felt as if my hand were paralyzed. It was a great effort for 
me,-especially to write the address.70 Then I went back to the 
dining room. It was empty, except that "he" was sitting and 
drawing at his parents' table. He asked me what my husband 
had said. I told him. He was very concerned over that and 
said: "Perhaps he is coming down now and would find us to- 
gether." I said: "That is impossible; he is lying in bed." 
At that moment I reflected that I was neglecting all my duties; 
that several days ago I had taken a sack of flour to a baker to 
bake some special biscuits for my husband and I had not called 
for them as yet. I decided to go for the biscuits,71 although I 
should have preferred to stay with him. I told him that I was 
going out to mail the card which I had written with much diffi- 
culty and to call for the biscuits and I asked him meanwhile to 
take care of my dog because the dog did not like to go out in 
the rain. 
I went to mail the card and called on the baker. On my re- 
turn I took the village road towards the hotel. There was an 
entrance from that side directly into the second, higher dining 
room; but I had never used that entrance. I had always turned 
the corner and had always gone directly into the first dining room. 
But this time, as if obeying a compulsion, I went from the village 
road directly into the second dining room, and when I entered 
I saw him sitting there at a table, with a lady and her gentleman,- 
a man with whom he had played cards the previous evening. 150 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
The dog was at his side. At that moment the feeling came over 
me that I had obeyed a hypnotic suggestion to come through that 
door, which I had never used, directly into the second dining 
room, and that he had confided to the lady his telepathic message 
for me. As I was about to pass their table he said to me: "I 
have introduced your dog to the company, may I now introduce 
you?" I said, in the hearing of that lady: "No!" and continued 
on my way to the second dining room, where I took a seat at 
another table.72 
He followed me within a few minutes and seated himself at 
my table. A strange gentleman who had been there but a few 
days sat behind me; the table in front of me was occupied by 
the sickly Count, whose grotesque appearance he had found so 
interesting that he had drawn four sketches of him. I looked 
at the sketches and found them more grotesque than the original. 
Incidentally I looked at the stranger; he had told me the man 
was from the same town as he and had a wife and three children. 
He asked me whether I could fall in love with the strange man. 
I told him that I never know a thing like that beforehand; that 
it depends whether the person in question wants it or not; and 
if he is very persistent, I cannot guarantee anything.73 At that, 
he remarked: "So, I must tell this to the Count." Then he added 
that the man, after all, was uninteresting. I said that I, too, 
found him likewise. He said: "He lives only for his wife's 
abdomen." 74 I asked: "Why the abdomen?" At that he re- 
plied: "Well, that man has had three children already." And I 
answered with a feeling as if the words had been dictated by 
him: "That makes the Count even more sympathetic in my eyes." 
Then pointing to an elderly, uninteresting woman who was alone 
at a table I asked him whether she was a newcomer or whether 
he had seen her before. He said he did not know, he had not 
noticed her, she was extremely uninteresting and added, "One 
might as well be dead as to be of no interest to anybody, is that 
not true?" I said: "Perhaps she interests her husband." But 
he answered: "She has none." 
He asked me whether I intended to go to the afternoon concert. 
I said: "No !" He remarked: "You would be interested to inspect 
the interior of the building." At that I said: "But I should not 
care to go with that disgusting Roumanian girl." He exclaimed: 
"Dear Madam, you said that like a 12-year-old, like a wilful 
child, and at the same time you left an opening in case you 
should have to go after all." I asked: "What should I have FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
151 
said?" He answered: "One says simply: No, I won't go." I 
said: "You are right about the opening, I always leave a return 
path for myself." He said: "How can you lie so cleverly to 
your husband; have you also lied at school to your teachers ?" 
After some reflection I said: "Lie I did not, but I was the 
most impudent creature." He nodded, as if to say that he 
himself had thought so. 
Then I told him that he had always suggested to me things 
which were unpleasant and which had no sense. I said: "Why 
don't you sometimes suggest something which is pleasant and 
useful at the same time, for instance, that I should stay in my 
room this afternoon and darn my stockings; that would be some- 
thing very necessary, I haven't a single wearable pair; yet I do 
no darning on my own initiative-I don't like the task. I find 
it too irksome." When I said this to him I really intended to 
remain in my room that afternoon, so as not to have to go to 
the concert hall, but I wanted to do it with his knowledge. He 
said: "I shall suggest that you darn the stockings sitting at the 
table,-here in the restaurant." I said: "I won't do that." 
I went upstairs to call my husband for lunch. As I sat at the 
table with him I ate with relish for the first time.75 The dish 
was something I liked, venison with stewed fruit. Absorbed in 
eating, I had forgotten "him" for a few moments. Suddenly 
my arms felt paralyzed, I could not carry the fork to my mouth, 
and it fell on the plate. I knew at once that this was "his" 
influence. But I did not want to yield and made a strenuous effort 
to carry the fork to my mouth, but it fell back on the plate. 
I began to weep and had barely strength enough to say to my 
husband: "I don't feel well." Then I arose and left the dining 
room. A few minutes before the old gentleman, who was always 
in Mrs. M.'s company, although he did not live at the hotel, had 
seated himself at our table.76 
I went upstairs in the elevator. When I reached our door I 
found that I had forgotten to get the key from the clerk. I ran 
downstairs; in the lobby, a clerk told me: "Your husband has 
just taken the elevator to go upstairs." I ran upstairs. At the 
door I met my husband. He asked me what was the matter. 
I told him: "I am unwell and have probably over-fatigued myself 
yesterday on the excursion."77 The first thing I did when I 
entered the room was to take off the marriage ring, which I 
had been wearing on my little finger, and put it away in the 
drawer. My husband said he did not understand why I had 152 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
burst into tears; usually I was not so whimpering when something 
was the matter with me. I told him that the fatigue had made 
me nervous; that I would lie down at once; and I begged him 
to go downstairs because he had not had his dessert. At last 
he went, and I breathed relief to be alone once more. I went 
to bed with the firm resolution not to get up that day. In a 
short while my husband came upstairs and I told him I was 
feeling better already. I lay quietly in bed, but could not sleep. 
At four o'clock my husband went downstairs again. I said that, 
as I was feeling better, I would follow him shortly, and promised 
to bring him some of his special bread. But after he left I lay 
there, unable to execute my resolution to rise. I lay there mo- 
tionless, but all sorts of possible thoughts and feelings fleeted 
through my brain. I concluded that I was a bad woman, un- 
worthy of "him." 78 I reflected: how could he love such a person 
as I ? The bath trouble and my inability to eat at noon, I regarded 
as a penance, which "he" must have imposed on me. Then I re- 
proached myself because I never bowed to his mother,79 for whom 
he had great respect; and because I ridiculed her before I knew 
who she was, by asking my husband if I looked like her, when 
the hotel manager had mistaken me for her. I was also thinking 
that I must go downstairs to take to my husband the promised 
bread; but instead of doing so I remained in bed, unable to stir. 
Suddenly some one in the corridor shut a door with a bang 
and I heard some one whistling lightly. Then I knew that this 
was a signal for me to get up and I jumped out of my bed with 
both feet at once, as if electrified. I made my toilette very hur- 
riedly. I put on precisely the same underwear and clothes that 
I had worn in the forenoon and on the excursion of the previous 
day. While I did up my hair, my hands shook so that I was 
barely able to stick in my hair pins. When I held my arms 
high, at the toilette table and while doing up my hair, I noticed 
under my armpit a red mark, such as "he" had on his arm. 
I looked carefully, to note whether it was not an optical illusion 
on my part, but the thing was real. I did not powder myself 
as usual, but went downstairs as I was.80 
When I entered the dining room, he was there with a number 
of people; we exchanged greetings from a distance. I walked 
over to my husband, who was playing cards, and gave him his 
bread, then without ordering tea for myself, I went out with 
my dog. I walked as far as the little park and there I sat down 
on the farthest bench with the intention of spending there the FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
153 
rest of the afternoon by myself. In my hand I held a piece of 
biscuit which I broke into crumbs for the dog. After sitting 
there for about five minutes I saw "him" from a distance coming 
toward me. He greeted me smilingly as he approached my 
bench. When I saw him coming I suddenly felt cramps in my 
neck. It seemed as if a hand was forcibly turning my head in 
the opposite direction from that from which he came.81 I looked 
away until he sat down near me. He asked me, smilingly: 
"What happened this noon?" I said: "I need not tell you that, 
you know it very well, since it is your fault." He answered: 
"You must tell me, at once." Then I told him that I could not 
eat because my arms felt as if they were paralyzed, that I had 
to drop my fork, and that I fled weeping to my room and stayed 
in bed. He asked: "What did you think about while you were 
lying in your bed so long? Surely you were thinking about the 
baby you are going to have by me." I said: "No; I won't 
have any baby by you." He asked, why not? I did not want 
to tell him, but he again compelled me and at last, I managed 
to say, with difficulty: "Because I have become unwell." I also 
told him: "The mark you have on your hand I now have under 
my arm." He said: "It will be all right to-morrow." And then 
he added: "There is no mark to-day where I bit you yesterday." 
The fact was he had bitten me on the lip during our excursion 
on the previous day. When I looked in my mirror I saw a 
swelling under my lip. When I called his attention to it he 
was very sorry and said: "To-morrow it will be gone." I had 
forgotten all about it, but when he mentioned it, I recalled that 
I had not seen the swelling. Looking in the mirror I now saw 
the swelling, but it was very faint. 
He said to me: "Shall we go now to inspect the interior of 
the assembly room?" The suggestion pleased me immensely. I 
had always wished to see the interior of the larger building 
with its social room; it was open for inspection only three times 
a week during certain hours. While going there, I was again 
very happy; my mood was pleasant; all cares were forgotten. 
On the way we met Mrs. M. with the elderly gentleman; they 
said they had waited for us so long it was too late and the 
building was probably closed already. Mrs. M. asked me whether 
I felt better; she had heard that I was unwell at the table; was 
it true? I said, I thought the excursion was too strenuous for 
me, I was a little nervous and unable to eat. He remarked: "The 
fork remained stuck in the meat." 82 154 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
They went back to the building with us and he prevailed upon 
the porter to let us in, although it was after hours. We were 
shown, first, the assembly rooms; he called my attention to the 
costly rugs, mentioning their prices. I reflected that the price 
of the rugs did not interest me. There were also some picture 
paintings on exhibition and I looked them over cursorily; I 
recall a snow landscape, which I liked.83 Then we were shown 
a couple of sleeping rooms. He went over to a corner, raised 
a frame and showed me a bide. When we entered the second 
room he did the same thing. I felt very embarrassed. When 
we left the building he said to me: "I have rhymed to-day a 
very pretty riddle: Des Morgens frith im Rosenhof macht die 
Frau M. " He asked me whether I could guess the rhyme. 
I said yes, I thought the verse very pretty. He repeated it to 
Mrs. M., but she did not understand it. We parted from the 
lady and the elderly gentleman and he asked me whether I would 
walk up with him to the little shop where we had seen the cakes 
and the colored candy on the previous day. It meant an uphill 
walk of at least three-quarters of an hour. I consented. Sud- 
denly I recalled that I did not have my purse with me; I looked 
for it before I left and could not find it. I said to him: "I 
have lost my bag, hope I won't find it." He asked me what was 
in it. I said, there was not much money in it, possibly 20 kronen, 
but it contained the lieutenant's photograph. He asked: "What 
will you do if you find it?" I said: "I shall throw it into the 
water." Then he asked me whether I would like to adopt him.84 
I did not know what he meant by that. I asked: "How can I 
adopt you?" 
When we passed by the hotel, he said again something about 
"Nora." I believe he said that for me marriage was a child's 
play, that I had a doll's house. Then our conversation turned 
on what I was thinking about while I lay alone that afternoon 
in my room and I told him 1 had been reflecting on all my sins. 
He asked: "What have you done, have you forged checks?" I 
said: "No, I haven't done that; but I have deceived my husband 
four times, that was bad enough." 
Suddenly I felt the need of telling him everything that was 
on my conscience. I told him that I reflected about not greeting 
his mother; I might have done this very properly, even though 
we had not been formally introduced. He remarked very pleas- 
antly: "You can make up for that by greeting her from now 
on." Then I told him that on the first day of our arrival the FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
155 
hotel manager had mistaken me for his mother and that there- 
after I always asked my husband in jest, whether I looked like 
her. This confession he took with very little grace. 
We reached the little store with the dog biscuits and the 
coloured candy in the show window. He bought a package of 
biscuits and asked me what kind of candy I wanted. I pointed 
it out to him. He asked me, how much of it to buy. I asked 
the price. The merchant said 2.50 kronen 10 decagrams. I said: 
"Ten decagrams." He asked: "Isn't that too little?" I said: 
"Make it 20 decagrams." He began munching a biscuit and 
gave me one. He said: "They are very nice; my parents always 
eat them at the table." I said: "I had never noticed it." I 
tasted the biscuit, and found it very unappetizing, like Fattinger's 
dog biscuits, and I asked: "Do your parents eat them for health ?" 
That made him laugh. I reflected, they are so tasteless, surely 
nobody eats these biscuits for pleasure. While he reached out 
for the candies, I, on a sudden impulse, gave the whole package 
of biscuits to a little boy who happened to be standing in the 
store.85 When "he" saw that, he bought another package. I 
said: "I want to give the candy also to the child." He asked: 
"All of them?" I said: "Yes." He wanted to hinder me, saying: 
"Give him only a few." I said: "No, I want to give him the 
whole package, he has already overheard us and rejoices." And 
I gave the whole package of candy to the child. 
We returned to the road. He was carrying the package of 
biscuits in his hand; I still had the morsel of it in my mouth 
and could not swallow it. It pricked my gums and my throat 
was cramped tight. I said to him: "I cannot swallow it."86 
He inserted his finger in my mouth and cleared my teeth. He 
said: "Now you will be able to swallow it." 
I had the feeling that I would be able to swallow only if I 
told him first everything that oppressed my heart. I said: "Do 
you know, I find it difficult to speak about the most natural 
things and yet I do swinish things." He asked: "What do 
you hesitate about?" I said: "To mention that I am unwell." 
He asked: "Was what we did yesterday swinish?" I said: "No; 
but that which I did with the doctor in Vienna was." 87 
After I said that I was able to swallow. He, walking a couple 
of paces ahead, began munching the crackers; I walked behind 
him with my dog. Suddenly I ran to him, exclaiming in a voice 
choked with tears: "Don't eat that, don't eat that, it is dog food, 
I have told you, and you are not a dog." 88 156 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
He looked at me with astonishment, but I took the package 
out of his hand. I was about to give one of the crackers to the 
dog when the thought came to me that there are so many poor 
children who have nothing to eat. I did not know what to do; 
perhaps it would be an insult to the children to give them dog 
biscuits; again, it may be unfair to the hungry children who 
have nothing to eat to give the crackers to the dog. I decided 
to give them away to children when one of the biscuits fell to 
the ground. I was about to pick it up and add it to the others 
when the thought occurred to me that what fell on the ground 
belonged to the dog. I stopped to give it to the dog. Meanwhile 
"he" walked on. I ran after a child to whom I gave the biscuits. 
Other children were standing around; I thought, I must give 
them something, too. As I did not have my pocketbook with 
me, I went over to him and asked him to give me some money 
for the children. He took several two kronen banknotes out 
of his letter-case and handed them to me. Meanwhile the 
children had scattered. There were hordes of children on the 
village road. I asked him which were the children to whom 
I wanted to give the money. He helped me look for the 
children. I gave each one a two kronen note. He said to me: 
"You will insult these children, they are not of a beggarly class, 
they belong to tradesfolk." I said: "It does not matter, they 
will find some use for the money." Other children gathered 
around and I wanted more money. He said: "I haven't so much 
money." But I barred his way, crying, and said: "You must 
have more." He gave me a few more notes, saying: "Dear 
Madam, what is the matter with you to-day, you are very hys- 
terical." I said: "True, but it will pass, isn't that so?" We 
sought a few children among whom I distributed the money. 
Then another child came along. He said: "I have nothing 
more."89 
It occurred to me that being charitable with another's money 
is no trick and as I had no money of my own with me I reflected 
what I could give this child. I recalled that I had my gold watch 
with me; taking it off I asked him: "May I give it to this child ?" 
He exclaimed, very much alarmed: "No, no, don't you do that," 
and I pinned the watch back in place. He said to me: "It is well 
enough to be charitable, but one should have a system about it, 
you understand, a system." I said: "Yes." 
Then I had a feeling that I owed him an explanation and I FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
157 
told him that, as a child, I had resolved to buy no candy for 
one-half year, so as not to fail at school. I prevailed upon my 
brother to do likewise, and for six months we laid aside the 
money intended for candy. On the day of examination each of 
us took a sackful of coppers and nickels to school. At the end 
of the exercises he called for me at my school; we had both 
passed; so we went to the Schottenhof, where most beggars 
congregate and there we distributed the two sacks of coins 
among the beggars, who were astonished at our prodigality.90 
I said to him: "Think how foolish I was, to make an oath like 
that, instead of studying, but I believe that even if I had failed, 
I would have distributed the money among the beggars, because 
it would not have been their fault that I was so lazy." I told 
him also that, when I was a child, I threw once a two kronen 
piece into the courtyard for a poor man who, however, could 
not find it, because the money had fallen into a sand pile. 
Again I felt the need of telling him everything that was on 
my mind, because otherwise I would not be able to swallow. I 
told him that when my husband felt very badly during the winter 
I had said to him in a jest, that he ought to join the beggars* 
in the Schottenhof and he would earn much money. He did not 
feel offended, because I had said it facetiously; nevertheless it 
was heartless of me to utter such a silly witticism. Then I 
said to him: "And do you know, yesterday about the matter of 
the boundary crossing, that was not merely stupid of me, you 
have rendered me thereby a great favor; you had to go in a 
roundabout way for me, no other acquaintance of mine would 
have done it for me." At that he remarked: "Nice acquaintances 
you must have." I said: "Of course, my poor associations are 
responsible for my miserable state, these stupid, superficial women 
friends who always want to imitate the fast women; and you 
are entirely in the right when you say that I have poor taste; 
about clothes my taste is perhaps good enough, but in literature 
and music my taste runs low, I like only superficial things." 
He said: "In clothes, too, your taste is poor if you imitate the 
fast women. And a lady does not forget to draw down the 
curtains when she prepares her toilette in front of an open 
window." 91 
We were near the hotel by that time. It was late and very 
dark. I had again completely calmed down. Suddenly he stopped, 
reached his hand out to me and said ardently: "Whatever hap- 158 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
pens, I shall always be your friend." I reflected: "What does 
that mean, is this a parting?" Then he said: "And now tell your 
husband everything." 
That scared me very much. I reflected, how can I do it,- 
that is out of the question. And what must I tell, what does he 
mean by "everything" ? I said to him : "Only yesterday I thought 
that I had courage, but I am the most cowardly person you ever 
saw." He gave me a look, as if to say: "You see, you, too, are 
a coward." I thought of Nora. I reflected, I would do it, if 
he would only tell me what to say and how to say it. I was 
about to ask him, but I reflected I must decide that for myself, 
and I resolved to do it for his sake, to prove to him that I can 
offer him the greatest, the most difficult sacrifice conceivable; I 
reflected: That is the fire test of my love." 
Shortly before this conversation I had also told him that it 
was unfair on my part to regard my dog as a child, to treat it 
as a child. I had mentioned that it always slept in my bed. He 
remarked at that: "Look out that it does not suck on your white 
breasts." 92 
We reached the hotel square. My husband and several hotel 
guests were standing at the door, in the dark. Very agitatedly 
my husband came up toward me and in a loud voice he exclaimed 
in front of all the people: "What have you been doing all this 
time, what makes you run around at night alone with Mr. N.?" 
I noticed that "he" was looking at my husband. I said: "Don't 
talk so loud in front of all these people; let's go to our room; 
there we can talk over everything." 
We went upstairs together in the elevator. He started again 
to reproach me, but I said: "I have something important to tell 
you, but I cannot do it in the elevator; wait until we get to our 
room." When we reached our room my husband sat down, and 
I said calmly: "I am going to divorce you and marry Mr. N." 
He looked at me, astonished, and said: "Is that true? What do 
you mean? What put the idea into your head?" I answered: 
"It is my firm resolution, but you need not feel sorry, for I 
have deceived you already four different times." He gazed at 
me, horrified, and said: "Is that true? Have you deceived me 
four times? But with whom?" I counted up the men for him, 
in their order. He said: "Have you really done all that? And 
with the doctor, of all men. But how and when did you do it?" 
I gave him a few dates and said: "Indeed, the doctor was the 
vilest of them, he did not even care for me, he has only used FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
159 
me for his swinish doings. That vile creature has betrayed your 
confidence; you were his patient, and he always sent me mes- 
sages through you." He said: "Did you tell N. all that?" I 
said: "Yes." "And notwithstanding all that he is willing to 
marry you?" 
It occurred to me that "he" had not really said so; that it 
was only my own belief, because I could not see any other sense 
to his request that I tell my husband everything. I said: "He 
did not actually say so, but he did say he would always be my 
friend, so that even if he did not marry me, I could always 
be his 'friend.' And this is the best arrangement, he has 
hypnotized me and he has me under his telepathic influence. 
I love him more than anybody else in the world; I have never 
loved any one so much. I am entirely under his influence, I 
have no will of my own, I want to do only his bidding. I 
realize only now how dependent I am." My husband said: 
"In God's name what shall we do? What will the hotel folks 
say about it!" I said: "The folks in the hotel need not know 
anything about it,-that was not his intention. The best thing 
is for us to go downstairs to dinner, as if nothing had happened. 
After dinner I'll go upstairs; you must remain down there; he 
will come over to you and you will talk it over between your- 
selves. Whatever he says must be done; he is so bright, he 
knows everything, he knows what is right, and we must obey 
and follow whatever he decides." 
We went downstairs together. Before we entered the dining 
room I had a hallucination. I saw his parents pass by and 
greeted them; they returned the greeting very cordially. I know 
positively that it was merely a hallucination, for the moment 
we stepped into the dining room I saw his parents seated quietly 
with him at their table. But this contradiction did not baffle 
me at the time. 
As we sat at the table I ordered a glass of beer for myself, 
although I do not drink beer. The drink was served in high 
cup-shaped glasses. As soon as it was served I drank the bev- 
erage. I had the feeling that I had drunk much, but when I 
put down the glass, to my great astonishment, it was still full, 
as if I had not touched it.93 I noticed that "he" was looking 
at me from his table and I reflected again that he surely had 
instigated me to order the beer, although ordinarily I never take 
beer; furthermore I thought that this was surely some more of 
his sorcery when I saw that the glass was still full after I drank 160 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
from it. I drank again; this time there was really less beer 
in the glass. I ate with fairly good appetite and ceased looking 
over at him or at his table. • After the meal was over I told 
my husband to remain there and talk to him while I would go 
upstairs. 
I reached my room in a cheerful, elated frame of mind. I 
stepped over to the open window and looked out, as I did on 
that first evening when I saw him standing under the window; 
suddenly I began to pray and I thanked God for having ordained 
that I should meet him and I begged God to forgive my sins, 
to protect all who were dear to me, including my husband, and 
above all, "him." I prayed that all may end well, as I always 
prayed when I was a child.94 
Then it occurred to me that I must go out with the dog. I 
must not neglect the dog. I went out with the dog on the dark 
hotel square. In the dark I presently saw a figure; I thought 
it was "he." I walked in that direction, but the figure resembling 
him kept moving steadily ahead of me on the village road where 
we had often strolled together.95 
Suddenly the thought came to me that he would think it un- 
seemly for me to pass the night with my husband after what 
had happened and I had the notion that he expected me to spend 
the night either with him or alone elsewhere. I discerned his 
figure in the dark moving ahead of me, but at a distance, so 
that I could not see him clearly; I thought also that he was about 
to whistle for me to follow. Finally he disappeared into a house. 
I entered that house, went one flight up and walked over to a 
chamber door which I opened. I saw a bedroom with two beds 
in it dimly lit under the glow of a red shade. Some one asked: 
"What do you want?" 
At that moment I realized that it was an error. I said: "I 
have made a mistake," and turned back. 
I suddenly felt downcast and depressed. 
Accompanied by my dog, I went down the village road back 
toward the hotel. A soldier was walking at a distance. I re- 
flected: only prostitutes go out at night with a dog, to pick up 
a soldier (at Baden I always went out evenings with my dog to 
meet Lieutenant L.) and only a dog answers the call of a whistle. 
I also reflected that prostitutes go out with dogs to make the 
acquaintance of men. 
When I reached the hotel I went promptly upstairs to our 
room. I was there but a few minutes when my husband came FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
161 
in and he looked agitated. I asked: "What is it ? What have 
you said to him ?" He answered: "I haven't spoken with him 
at all; some acquaintances joined him and his parents at their 
table and he did not come over to me and I did not want to 
wait any longer so I came upstairs." I was badly disappointed 
because things did not go as I had expected. 
My eye was suddenly arrested by a blue ribbon lying on the 
table. It was the little ribbon with which our napkins were 
always tied. That was the custom at this hotel; instead of 
napkin rings they had ribbons in different colours and our colour 
was blue. Obviously I had forgotten to roll up the napkins 
after our meal so as to tie them with the blue ribbon and, without 
knowing it, I had taken the ribbon upstairs. When I saw that 
I reflected: I must take the ribbon downstairs to the dining room; 
it does not belong to me; I must not keep it. I took it and 
walked down the stairs with it. On the first floor stairway I 
met his mother's maid, who was just going upstairs.96 On 
seeing her I decided not to go down and turned back. In front 
of our door, my hand jerked with a sudden, involuntary motion 
and the little ribbon disappeared out of my sight, as if by magic.97 
Without being surprised at this occurrence I entered our room. 
My husband was tremendously agitated and in despair; he 
persistently asked me whether what I told him was really true 
and what we were to do. I told him it was all true, but he 
must not get excited; I, too, did not know what to do, but "he" 
would decide everything, and we must implicitly obey. I said: 
"Let us go to sleep, that is the best thing for us to do for the 
present. You must lie down at once; you have come here for 
the cure; you must not irritate yourself; 'he' is so wise, perhaps 
during the night he will vouchsafe us a sign, an intimation, what 
to do. He knows everything that is going on in our room even 
when he is not here." I insisted until my husband, at last, went 
to bed. 
I, too, began to undress; and when I crawled into my bed 
I found there the pocketbook which I thought I had lost. I took 
out the photograph which was wrapped in a rose paper and, 
without looking at it, tore it to pieces in its wrapper and threw 
the pieces into the slop jar. Then I went to bed and turned 
out the light. As I lay in my bed, in the dark, I was discon- 
solate. I reflected: What shall I do ? What is going to happen 
next? My husband talked to me persistently. He said I must 
not leave him, he was so accustomed to me, he was afraid of 162 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
being alone.8S I said: "Why should you care for such a wife 
as I have been to you? Think what I have done!" He said: 
"Did you really do all that? I cannot believe it. You have such 
trusting eyes." At that I replied: "Nevertheless, I am the most 
untrustworthy creature on earth." 
Presently I recalled that I had neglected to prepare his foot 
compress. I turned on the light and, sitting at his bedside, I 
applied the compress to his knee. I did not allow the dog to 
lie with me in bed, as usual; instead, I had him lie on the sofa." 
The dog tried persistently to get back to my bed, continually 
pawing at my bed covers. But I chased him back to the sofa 
every time and scolded him severely without using the customary 
pet names. I said to my husband: "I must refer to the dog as 
'she,' not 'it'; 'he' wants it so." I said also: "I am very thirsty, 
but I must not drink the water from the pitcher, I must drink 
only blueberry juice." 
My husband asked me particulars about the various men whom 
I had previously enumerated. He asked me when and where I 
had done those various things. He said: "That man in Baden,- 
you met him only now and then at the restaurant." I said: "I 
also had daily appointments with him, while you were taking 
your baths; that baby I had in the fall was by him." Then I 
added: "And as to F., he had horrible quarters in N. Street; we 
met there; but, thank God, with him I did not do it for nothing; 
he had to pay me twenty kronen every time." 
My husband said he was afraid to be alone; I must stay by 
him. I said: "What are you really afraid of? You are not a 
child any more. You must try to sleep alone in the room, and 
you will get accustomed to it. And you must not play with my 
hands any more,-that is too childish. Nor should you call me 
Dorerl or Dollerl any more,-you must call me Dora. And we 
must not pamper the dog so much,-we are not children any 
longer." He was in despair because he had to call me Dora, 
but every time he said Dorerl I corrected him. Finally he called 
me only Dora. 
Meanwhile I had to get up at least ten times to tighten the 
compress around his knee and as many times again to put the 
dog back in his place on the sofa because he tried to climb on 
the bed. 
I told my husband, not only had I been untrue to him, but 
I had also laughed at him behind his back and had made a fool 
of him; I seemed to hold nothing in the world as sacred; even FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
163 
during our marriage ceremony, I laughed at the altar (which was 
not true).100 I asked him: "Would you have me stay with you, 
in spite of all that?" He said "Yes." I said: "Very well, I 
shall do it as a sacrifice for your sake, but on the one condition 
that you never again play cards." 
He protested; he would not agree to that. So I said to him: 
"You see, this little sacrifice you do not care to make for me; 
nevertheless you ask of me a greater sacrifice,-to give up N. for 
your sake. Give up 'him' whom I love above all else on earth, 
whom I love as I have never loved any one in my life." 101 He 
asked: "Do you really love him so much? Do you love him 
more than your husband?" I said: "Not more." 102 He asked: 
"And more than you love your brother?" I said: "Yes; I love 
him more than I do my brother; more than I love anything or 
anybody else on earth." 103 
At that my husband exclaimed in despair: "And don't you 
love me at all?" I said: "Oh, yes, I love you, too, but not 
as a man, you are not a man, you are impotent. I love you as 
I would a cousin, or an uncle; yes, as I would an uncle,-that is 
how I love you 1" Then I said: "But you must not have any 
regrets about me, I am not the right wife for you anyway. I 
shall let you have my dowry and my jewels, and you can also 
keep the furniture; I don't like my home furnishings anyway. 
Besides, you are already old and ailing; you need not work 
hard to earn money for me any more; you have had nothing; 
heretofore all your earnings were squandered on new rags for 
me. Your requirements are much more modest, you will be 
able to get along with much less. And as to my women friends, 
those stupid and superficial creatures, I am through with them 
as well; their influence on me has been baneful throughout. 
I promise you never to have anything to do with Mrs. B. here- 
after." This statement particularly astonished him. Then I 
said to him also: "It were best that you go to your mother, you 
have not seen her anyway for a long time; I had always prevented 
you from going to see her because the doctor 104 had told me 
that everything was her fault." He said he would prefer not 
to return to Vienna; he would feel terribly ashamed to meet 
the men with whom I had deceived him. 
At last he fell asleep. In my loneliness as I lay awake in 
the dark my thoughts turned to "him" and I reflected: I wish he 
would indicate by some sign or symbol what I must do. 
Suddenly the thought came to me that mother was ill; she 164 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
may have pneumonia; how heartless I had been not to have 
thought of it; and I felt that I must positively go to her on the 
first train. I reflected: this was the sign; the suggestion came 
from him; I must leave on the first train.105 
I calculated that the first thing to do was to find out when 
the first train leaves. I looked at the watch: it was four o'clock 
in the morning. I got up; my husband awoke; he asked me 
why I was up. I told him that I must leave on the first train, 
because mother was ill and that I was going downstairs to find 
out the time when the earliest train started. I put on my shoes, 
threw a mantle over my shoulders and walked through the cor- 
ridor which was lit all night. The first thing I saw was the blue 
ribbon, which had disappeared out of my hand on the previous 
night; it was lying on the red carpet in front of my door. I 
picked it up. Then I went to the servants' quarters on the fourth 
floor. I thought I would find some one there who could tell 
me when the train left. But I found everything quiet and dark 
upstairs, so I went down to the first floor. There I met a porter 
collecting shoes and clothes for cleaning. But I did not see 
him coming; I discovered him suddenly standing in front of 
me, like the appearance of persons in a dream, when we do not 
know whence they came. I asked him when the earliest train 
was to leave; I told him that my mother was ill and I must 
go to her on the first train. He said, five-forty-five, or something 
like that. I went upstairs again and told my husband that the 
train was to leave at five-forty-five and that I had enough time, 
and crawled back to bed. My husband said he wanted to go 
along; he did not want to stay alone. I said, that would not 
do; if he did not want to remain alone, he must get a nurse, 
or wire for a relative; he must not be so dependent. I said 
to him: "What good is a woman who is not a faithful wife, a 
woman who has lied to you and who has been unfaithful?" 
He asked: "Have you deceived me with the painter, too ?" I 
said: "Yes, yesterday on the excursion." Then I said: "You 
see, he is a man to whom I shall always be faithful; I will never 
deceive him because I love him and he completely dominates 
me."106 
Then I got up with a start and began to wash and dress myself. 
My husband, too, wanted to jump out of bed, but I forced him 
to lie down. Before I started washing myself I pinned the 
window curtains together. I laid out a few necessary things 
to carry in my bag. But I did everything without any order. FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
165 
I laid the things out on various chairs and on the table and did 
not know what was already in the bag. I put on new under- 
wear, but the same blouse and hat that I had worn on the 
previous day and on the excursion. When I was ready, I tore 
up all the correspondence which had accumulated on my shelf, 
including the letters signed "Melanie"; I preserved only three 
postal cards, which I had received from my mother, and put 
them in my bag. Then I took my jewels and the marriage ring 
and put them on the wash stand for my husband; I kept only 
two rings which my brother had given me and the watch, which 
was a present from my grandmother. I had kept the jewels 
in a little pearl bag which had been given me by that man from 
N. Street. I threw it on the floor and said to my husband: "This 
little bag was given me by that monster, I have probably given 
him a kiss for it; where shall I throw it away? Shall I drop 
it into the water closet?" My husband said: "Throw it away 
elsewhere, perhaps somebody will find it." I said: "Nobody 
shall find this, I am going to drop it there." I went out and 
dropped it there. Then I returned to the room and stuck the 
keys into all the drawers. I took along only a small amount 
of cash, 200 kronen in Bohemian and 100 kronen in Austrian 
money. 
I walked over to my husband's bed and kissed him good-by. 
I said that I was leaving all my clothes and things there and 
that I would come back for them. Then I went downstairs 
with my dog and my bag. The dining room was not yet open 
when I came downstairs; a servant girl, whom I had not seen 
before, was sweeping the stairs. I went to the porter and told 
him that I wanted to leave on the first train; I was told that 
the first train had already left and that the next train was not 
due to leave before 8 o'clock. I demanded my passport, which 
was in the hotel manager's keeping. I reflected that if I had 
taken the first train I should have had to leave without my pass- 
port because the hotel manager was not yet up and he had to 
be informed in advance. 
As I had to wait a long time and the dining room was not 
yet open I went upstairs again. When I entered the room my 
husband was already up and dressing. I said I can leave only 
at 8 o'clock and he said he would take me to the station. I asked 
him repeatedly whether he thought I was insane. He said: 
"No" each time. 
When he got ready we went down to breakfast. At the 166 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
breakfast table, I found that he had forgotten his sacharin. I 
told him to use no sugar, as it might do him harm, and ran 
upstairs to fetch the sacharin for him. 
He said he felt chilly, so I told him I would bring him his 
overcoat; I ran up to the third floor again, without using the 
elevator, although I was unwell and it was not easy for me 
to climb the stairs. When I came down he asked me where 
his overcoat was; I had forgotten that I had gone up to fetch 
it. Again I ran upstairs for the overcoat. Passing by "his" 
door I obeyed a sudden impulse and, without reflecting, I opened 
the door to his room. He was in bed and awoke scared out of 
his sleep. I said to him: "I am leaving to go to my mother.107 
I wanted merely to say good-bye to you." Instead of looking 
at him while saying this, I felt constrained to look towards the 
opposite corner of the room. I talked a little more with him, 
but I do not recall what I said; I had the feeling that I was 
reciting like an actress. He said: "I am coming right down! 
I want only to dress." I stepped out and went to fetch the over- 
coat, but presently I again tore open the door to his room in 
spite of the fact that I saw one of the maids coming up the stairs. 
He was sitting on the edge of the bed putting on his stockings 
and was alarmed when he saw me. I said: "Mr. N., am I in- 
sane?" He said: "No." I asked: "Do you like me?" He 
answered: "Yes." I remarked: "But not so much as I like you, 
isn't that true?" He said again that he was coming down, 
presently. I went downstairs and gave my husband his overcoat. 
I told him at once: "Listen, I have just been in 'his' room." 
My husband looked at me in despair. I started to drink my 
coffee. But I poured the milk into the cup first and drank the 
milk separately, then I poured the coffee and drank it strong 
and bitter.108 I used no sugar. The waiter brought me my 
passport. It seemed to me that he handed the passport over 
to me with the exaggerated, mocking gestures one sees on the 
stage. I told him that I was leaving because my mother was ill 
and that I expected to come back. I repeated the same thing to 
the two waitresses, although they had not asked me any questions. 
Suddenly it occurred to me that I had left upstairs, in our 
room, the blue ribbon with which we tied our napkins. I re- 
flected : I must bring it down; it does not belong to me. Once 
more I ran upstairs, without using the elevator.109 When I re- 
turned "he" was standing at the foot of the stairs. He asked 
me: "Where are you going?" I answered: "I am going to my FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
167 
mother; I should have thought of it long ago." Then he said: 
"I will write you; let me have your mother's address." I gave 
him my mother's address. But while I did it I had a sensation 
of strangling so that I could barely utter the words. 
I had not given him my mother's name. We went together 
into the dining room; at the door, the moment he saw my husband 
sitting at his place, he asked me quickly, in a whisper: "Does 
he know everything?" 
When my husband saw him coming, he got up and advanced 
towards him with that peculiar expression which I knew his face 
always assumed when he felt offended. "He," too, stood in the 
middle of the dining room, lost in his embarrassment. I said 
very energetically, addressing my husband: "Fritz, shake hands 
with Mr. N., it is not his fault that I am so mad after men!" 
As I said this tears came to my eyes. The two men shook hands. 
Turning to "him," I said: "I won't miss my train, isn't that so?" 
He reassured me that there was plenty of time. I asked for 
a dish to pack away for my dog; I happened to recall that on 
the journey to the place I had forgotten to take along a dish and 
the dog got thirsty and there was not a dish out of which he 
could drink. It took some time before a dish was brought. I 
was very fidgety. The little blue ribbon I laid down on a table 
near by, not on our table. 
At last I was ready for the journey and walked to the door 
with my husband. "He" accompanied us as far as the door 
and said: "I'll follow you presently to the station." I said: 
"That would be too noticeable; you must stay here and first have 
breakfast." 
After a few steps, accompanied by my husband, I recalled 
that I did not have the traveling bag with me. I exclaimed: "I 
have forgotten my bag!" But my husband said that the porter 
had taken it to carry it to the station. 
When we reached the station we found the porter already 
there; he had bought a ticket for me; he said he bought a ticket 
to Eger; there I must get off and buy my ticket for Vienna. 
The train was waiting. Before I stepped into the coach I said 
to my husband, when he reached out his hand to me: "It is 
not shameful to kiss some one with whom one has lived for 
twelve years, isn't that so?" He said: "No." 
We kissed; then I stepped into the coach; and, standing at the 
coach window, I said: "That kiss was also a mockery and a 
hypocrisy." 168 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
My husband stood in front of the coach window; he wished 
me a happy journey and asked me to greet everybody for him. 
I kept looking to see whether "he" was coming as he had 
promised. But he did not arrive. My despair grew every 
minute; I confidently expected that he would come. 
When the train started I was at the nadir of despair. I re- 
flected : he did not come; he did not keep his word; he won't 
even write me. I sat listless and dumb. 
One half hour later we had to change cars. When I alighted 
I was addressed by a gentleman to whom I had been introduced 
on the previous day by Mrs. M. He offered to carry my bag. 
I declined his proffered aid very curtly. I had the feeling that 
it would have been an act of disloyalty towards "him" for me 
to speak to any one. 
I was again in a coach and we journeyed for another half 
hour. As we approached the town of Eger, I was in the depths 
of despair. I did not know what to do. I had the feeling that 
I did what Nora had done, that after a quarrel with my husband 
I left him, taking with me only a little hand bag and the barest 
amount of funds. But I was at a loss to know what to do 
next and I tried to think what Nora did after she went away. 
I reflected: the play does not disclose what she did next. Sud- 
denly there flashed through my mind "the miracle" to which 
Nora refers when she declares: "Now comes the miracle." 
I thought "the miracle" refers to telepathy. Telepathy means 
influencing some one at a distance; he will exert his influence 
on me also from a distance; he will indicate by a sign what I 
should do. 
At that moment the train entered the station at Eger. I got 
off and on seeing the numerous inscriptions at the station it 
occurred to me that through these inscriptions and announcements 
"he" would indicate what I must do. 
The first inscription I read was: "To the trains for Vienna." 
I concluded, therefore, that my destination was Vienna. 
I went over to the ticket booth and asked: "What is the quick- 
est and most direct route to Vienna?" I was asked: "What 
class?" I said: "Third class." 
I supposed that, since I was not a "lady," I must travel third 
class. I was given my ticket and then I asked for a ticket for 
my dog. I was told to get that at the next booth. I asked at 
what time the train left and was told, at four. It was ten o'clock 
at the time. I checked my satchel and bought a dog ticket. FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
169 
I did all this only with the greatest difficulty. At the baggage 
checking window I let pass ahead of me even those whose turn 
was after me. 
I supposed that I must not ask for anything; that I must wait 
until I am addressed. In that connection I recalled that on 
starting on the journey I had smuggled along the dog without 
the requisite ticket. Finally, after a good half-hour, I obtained 
the dog ticket. 
Then I read an inscription in the waiting room: "To the 
ladies' toilette and wash room." I reflected that I should like 
very much to go to the wash room, but I must not, because I 
was not a lady; I must go only zvhere the inscription read: "For 
women," and where no wash basin was provided. 
I recalled that when we drank the blueberry juice at the ex- 
cursion "he" had said to me, "That means becoming constipated," 
and that I was constipated thereafter, although I had never been 
troubled in that way before. 
I stepped out of the toilette and went to the square in front 
of the station, to give the dog exercise. I held the dog by the 
chain and walked around with my eyes shut; I imagined I had 
to go whither the dog led me.110 Then I returned again to the 
waiting room and visited the women's toilette repeatedly, but 
without results. I imagined that to be verst op ft (i.e., constipated) 
meant as much as being verstockt (i.e., stubborn, obdurate), and 
that so long as I was constipated I would not see "him" again. 
At noon I went to the restaurant (first and second class) to 
eat. I sat down at a table, but thought that I must not call a 
waiter; I must wait until he comes and asks me what I want. 
Presently a waiter stood before me; he bowed ultra-ceremoni- 
ously 111 and handed me the bill of fare with a theatrical gesture. 
He seemed very pleasant and obliging, and he reminded me of 
Docent W., and of a waiter who resembled W., the docent. 
On the bill of fare I read: "Ochsenfleisch (beef, lit., ox meat)." 
I reflected: I must not order that because Ochs (ox) is a swear 
word. I ordered soup, broiled steak and potatoes. Also water. 
I was sitting near the buffet. I heard the waiters continually 
coming and delivering their orders. All the time I heard: "One 
portion, two portions," and so forth. That is how the waiters 
always called out their orders at the hotel in J for those of 
the guests who boarded there. 
I gave some of my food to the dog, using the dish I had taken 
along for that purpose. I would have liked to have dessert, too,  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
170 
but I imagined I must not order it. I thought I must limit myself 
to the barest amount in order not to go hungry; I must not eat for 
pleasure. 
After eating I left the dining hall, and took the satchel out 
of the baggage room so as to be sure not to miss the four o'clock 
train and went back to the third class waiting room. But I was 
a couple of hours too early. I changed my seat many times. 
I sat first on one bench, then, without any reason, I moved over 
to another on the opposite side of the waiting room. This I 
did several times. Each time I had to carry the satchel, the 
dog, the umbrella and my little bag containing my passport and 
money, and it was very troublesome. 
An announcement posted in the waiting room read: "Eight 
minutes before the departure of a train the starter calls out once." 
I tried to be attentive so as to hear when the train was called. 
There was also a clock hanging in the waiting room. The starter 
came in frequently to call departing trains, but for other desti- 
nations than Vienna. It was ten minutes past four, the time 
when the train was scheduled to leave, but the train was not 
called. I imagined I must wait for the train to be announced 
and that I must not start before that,112 
Finally I got up and stepped out on the platform. There I 
asked some one when the train left for Vienna. I was told there 
was no train to Vienna; a train left for Budweis, connecting with 
Vienna; but it was leaving just then. I saw a train slowly moving 
out. I thought, perhaps I can catch it; I started to run after 
it, encumbered with my dog, my bag and my umbrella. It was 
like a nightmare,-one of those dreams in which you try to 
move your feet but seem glued to the spot. Presently the train 
was off. I asked when the next train left for Vienna. I was 
told the next train, a local, was scheduled to leave at ten o'clock 
at night. I reflected, now I shall have to wait six hours in the 
third class waiting room. I went with the dog to the station 
square, then to the toilet "for women," and back again to the 
waiting room. There I sat down to wait. Again I frequently 
changed my seat. 
When it grew dark I started to watch the persons who were 
sitting there, or who were going in and out. I saw a plainly 
dressed woman with two children, a boy and a girl, approxi- 
mately of the same age. The little girl was ugly and her face 
twitched. I reflected, I, too, had been like that,-a nervous 
child. The two children talked and laughed, telling each other FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
secrets, which were not intended for their mother's ears. They 
also played with and fondled a doll,113 or a child, which I could 
not see, but which was lying there. And the mother, too, con- 
tinually played with it and fondled it. This woman was con- 
tinually taking bottles and things out of a basket or a satchel 
and putting them back. The impression I had was that every- 
thing she did was both senseless and useless, and I reflected, she 
is like my mother, who always did most foolish things. The 
little boy, who was very handsome and attractive and wore a blue 
sailor hat like the one my brother always wore when he was a 
small boy, started to read and to do number work in a little note- 
book. I reflected, he is like my brother, who works and calculates 
for mother and myself because we are too stupid to do it for 
ourselves. Presently I saw an older boy who resembled the 
little boy, but who seemed a few years older; he stretched him- 
self on the bench so that I could not see him, and then the little 
boy scampered off. I reflected, the older boy is my father, who 
is dead, while the younger boy is my brother, his successor.114 
I watched this family with absorbing attention and with the 
keenest interest. The little boy made a grimace denoting dis- 
gust and held his handkerchief to the mouth, as if he were about 
to vomit. I reflected, it is my brother, who is disgusted with 
women. Then the two children walked off arm in arm. I re- 
flected, they go off, leaving their mother alone. But presently 
they returned. Then the woman got up and went away, telling 
the children to wait. The children, meanwhile, amused them- 
selves with the doll, or child, which I could not see. I reflected, 
the mother is going to her relatives to obtain support for her 
children. She returned bringing them cakes. Everybody ate and 
they were very jolly. 
I reflected, my mother has brought us cakes instead of bread; 
she had always provided us with luxuries which she obtained 
from her relatives for us,-that was surely very nice of her. I 
saw coarse strangers at a table consuming enormous quantities 
of food; they turned their back to the woman with the two 
children. I reflected, they were our relatives, who thought only 
of themselves, who had left mother with her children in the 
lurch, and whose sole concern was to make sure that they them- 
selves had enough to eat. 
I saw an attractive young girl sitting with an elderly lady on 
a bench opposite the family with the two children. I reflected, 
I was such a girl. I stayed with my mother. Then I saw a 
171 172 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
common girl, leaning on another girl, giggling and talking in a 
continuous stream and staring boldly at the men while she walked 
back and forth through the waiting room. I reflected, I was also 
like that as a girl. This girl went to the buffet to fetch beer, 
giggling and flirting brazenly. She always gazed at everybody 
around her while she walked. 
Two servant girls were holding a conversation behind me. I 
listened to hear what they were saying. I reflected, I was thus 
as a child, I always wanted to eavesdrop whenever the servants 
carried on a conversation among themselves. I saw a soldier 
writing an illustrated postcard. I reflected, only servant girls and 
soldiers write illustrated postcards and love letters. I reflected, 
my correspondence with that lieutenant was as if a servant girl 
had corresponded with a soldier. Across from me a soldier 
wearing a helmet sat at a table. His great blue eyes were turned 
on me with a cool and heartless glare. I reflected, he is Hugo,115 
who also has blue eyes and a cold heart. There was a strong 
resemblance between them. 
At the same table where I was a young boy was sitting on 
the next bench with a fatherly companion who was giving him 
advice. He looked at me in a friendly manner, smoking his 
pipe. I reflected, I too was such a stubborn tomboy. Again, 
I saw the refined girl who sat with the elderly lady walking 
over to exchange a few friendly words with the mother of the 
two children. She was talking continuously and I reflected, she 
tells the story of my life, she is now telling everything, there is 
much to tell! 
I saw "him," clad in a fantastic robe, standing at the buffet; 
his back was turned to all those present as he stood there, mo- 
tionless. Everybody who went to the buffet for beer had to 
walk past him, but he stood motionless with his arms crossed. 
The waiting room, very dark, was but dimly lit by the gas jets. 
I kept looking at "him," as he stood so motionless at the buffet. 
I could not see his face. I knew that if I should walk up to 
him he would disappear; I wanted him to stay, that I might 
look at him; I reflected, he was there for me; I am not alone; 
he won't abandon me. 
I saw by the clock which hung over the buffet that it was 
nearly nine o'clock. I reflected, time has flown rapidly, after 
all. I got up and went to the first-and-second-class restaurant 
for my evening meal, taking along my dog and the satchel. I 
sat down at a table and again thought, I must wait until the FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
waiter asks me what I want. Suddenly there stood before me 
the same waiter who had waited on me at noon. Again he 
looked to me very much like W., the docent; he was very amiable 
and very respectful towards me as he handed me the bill of 
fare. I ordered the same kind of meat as I had at noon, but 
asked for green peas instead of potatoes. I asked him also to 
bring me something for the dog. He said, if he had known that 
I would come back, he would have kept some of the meat I 
had left on my plate at noon for the dog, but it must have been 
thrown away. He brought something else for the dog. After 
the dog had eaten it I gave him some water in his dish. Then 
I asked the waiter to throw out the water; he looked at me, 
very astonished, but went to the door leading to the platform 
and poured it out. I reflected, this time I must not miss the 
train. I paid my bill and went upon the platform. • I walked 
as far as the placard which announced: "Next train leaves at 
io.io." The gate was shut. I opened it and went through. I 
walked into the darkness. Suddenly a railroad employee rushed 
towards me and asked me where I was going. I told him I 
wanted to take the 10.10 train for Vienna. He said: "You have 
time, you must wait until all the arriving passengers first clear 
the platform; go back quickly! You may find it unpleasant 
here." I went back; I asked several persons whether the 10.10 
train was positively the Vienna train. I was told: "You don't 
go direct to Vienna (from here)." 
As it. was too early I sat down at a table on the platform 
and ordered black coffee. Finally I saw people gathering in front 
of the gate. I too went there. I found it troublesome to carry 
the dog, the bag, my little bag and the umbrella. I was standing 
directly behind the woman with the two children; she also carried 
a tiny baby in her arms, and the pretty little girl was also there; 
she belonged with them. I was very glad and I felt reassured 
to know that this family was taking the same train. I felt no 
longer quite so lonely. 
Finally we boarded the train. I sat alone in a dark third class 
compartment. Before boarding the train I had again asked where 
the train was going. A guard flung open the door and said im- 
pressively, in a commanding tone: "You go straight to Vienna, 
but baggage is examined at Gmiind." I reflected, the guard (in 
German, Schaffner, i.e., lit., orderly), is he who orders, "he" is 
the orderly. "He" travels with me, disguised as the Schaffner 
(i.e., the man who orders), and I must do whatever he com- 
173 174 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
mands. I heard the sound of many doors opening and shutting 
and then the train started. 
I sat at the window with the dog on the seat across from 
me. The dog persistently tried to get to my side, but each time 
I put him back on the seat across and harshly ordered him to 
stay there. Finally he remained still and slept. 
I wondered what I should do when I arrived in Vienna. I 
thought, I cannot go by street car with the dog, and I would 
not have enough money for a carriage. Shall I go straight to 
mother or shall I go first to our home? Who knows whether 
the cook is in the house to open the door for me ? And suddenly 
it occurred to me that I had left the key to our home at the 
resort.116 I had left at J the key to the box containing all 
my things as well as all my other house keys. I reflected: "The 
key is in J I" Suddenly I was at a loss to know what to 
do. I thought perhaps I ought to go back to get my key. I 
knew I did not particularly care to go to Vienna. I reflected, 
what shall I do when I get there? I haven't even a change of 
clothes with me. Shall I stay with my mother, as "he" had 
told me his lady friend was living with her mother at Vienna? 
Will he visit me there and will he write me as he promised he 
would? Is that what Nora did when she left her husband? 
Suddenly the thought again came to me that I must proceed 
to Vienna, because the orderly {Schaffner} had so ordered. I 
must do everything precisely as the Schaffner commands. I 
have no will of my own, I am not self-dependent. Then, I 
thought again, "he" would vouchsafe me a sign, "he" will indi- 
cate by some sign what must be done. 
I peered through the window at the darkness outside. I saw 
a brightly lit watchman's hut in the forest. I reflected: "There 
is room in the smallest hut for a happy loving pair!" Then 
the beginning of a stanza also came to my mind and I repeated 
several times: "Hark, the forest echoes sing and the brook ripples 
clear. There is room in the smallest hut for a happy loving 
pair." 
The train stopped next at the Marienbad station. I saw the 
bright light of an electric arc light. I reflected: "Marienbad, 
Mary's bath! Here is where one is purified, washed clean; 
here is where the Virgin Mary bathes, the Holy Virgin Mary!" 
The train made a long stop there; at last it plunged again into 
the dark night. Suddenly I thought of a stanza from The Maid 
of Orleans. I reflected: "False heart, you deny the Eternal FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
175 
Light; you fail to follow the chaste voice of compassion." But 
I knew that the expression, "false heart," was not the correct 
one. I pondered whether it was "evil heart" or "faithless heart," 
but I knew that neither of these was the correct rendering. I 
could not think of the right word. 
I had the sensation that the train suddenly started to run 
backwards instead of forwards.117 
It scared me very much; I thought that the train was running 
backwards because I could not recall the right word and that 
I would not reach Vienna. I reflected, mother's illness was not 
at all the reason why I had left; after all, I did not want to go 
to Vienna. The chaste voice of compassion (des Mitleids fromme 
Stimme} had not called me to mother; it was a pretext and 
a lie when I told my husband that this was the reason for my 
journey. I had left merely becattse I did not know what else 
to do after what I had told my husband. Because after that 
confession I could not stay with him any more! Because I did 
not know how to act towards my husband or towards "him" 
on the next day! Because, at "his" expressed wish and at "his" 
request, I had told my husband everything and because "he" 
had left me in the lurch after that. 
Suddenly the train again moved forward. In my mind I 
repeated the lines: "Cunning heart (arglistig Herz}, you deny 
the Eternal Light. You fail to follow the chaste voice of com- 
passion." I thought that Joan had broken her vow when she 
fell in love with Talbot. 
The train stopped at a dark station. I heard the slamming 
of doors and had the feeling that all the passengers were getting 
off. I saw a guard with lanterns running back and forth. I 
could not make out the name of the Czech station. I had the 
feeling of being left alone in the train. I thought, perhaps I too 
ought to get off, perhaps everybody ought to get off here for 
the examination of the baggage. I wanted to ask some one, 
but I thought I must not ask, I myself must know what to do. 
Finally I took the dog in my arm, fetched the bag and the um- 
brella and went out in the car vestibule. I asked a guard: 
"Where is the baggage examination ?" He shouted: "Im Grat- 
zen!" and slammed the door. I thought, he said that merely 
because I must not ask questions. He meant, im Gratzen, i.e., ich 
soil mich kratzen (a colloquialism, corresponding to our slang 
expression: go and scratch yourself!). I returned to my seat. 
As the train stood still and did not move, I decided to ask again; 176 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
I was afraid to stay alone in the dark compartment. Again I 
stepped out, lugging the dog, my baggage and the umbrella, and 
looked for a guard. Through the platform window I saw one 
standing below. I shouted through the window: "Where is the 
baggage examination?" In very unfriendly voice he called back: 
"Im Gratzen." I reflected, he tells me again to scratch myself, 
because I must ask no questions. I reflected, I must know with- 
out anybody's aid whether to get off or stay on the train, I must 
decide for myself, I must ask no questions. But I was at a loss 
to know what to do. Three times I was about to alight and 
each time I returned to my seat. Finally I decided that I must 
get off, after all. Again taking the dog and my whole baggage, 
I walked to the vestibule and started to go down the steps. I 
was on the point of alighting when I changed my mind and once 
more I turned and went back to my place in the coach. In a 
few minutes the train started. I reflected, after all, it was right 
that I did not get off. I looked out of the window as we passed 
the station. But it seemed to me that it was already daylight. 
On the station platform I saw in bright daylight an elderly woman 
sitting down and a young girl who was carrying a little bag in 
her hand running towards her. The girl had a striking gait; 
she wiggled sideways, and walked rapidly with nervous, twitch- 
ing motions.118 
I thought I was that girl-how ugly she behaved! I resolved 
not to behave thus any more. I believe people entered my car. 
I heard doors slamming. A clergyman was sitting across from 
me. But the car was very dark. I thought, I must not look at 
any one, I must not be interested in anybody. 
Suddenly "he" was sitting on the same bench with me, but at 
some distance. He did not look at me. 
I reflected, I must not look in his direction or he will vanish. 
I was very glad that he was travelling at my side. I made up 
my mind not to look in his direction, so that he would stay. I 
turned my face completely around and peered through the win- 
dow in that cramped position. 
At this juncture memory fails me. I believe I fell asleep or 
I must have lost consciousness. My eyes were shut, but through 
the closed eyelids I had the feeling that it was bright daylight 
and that the sun was shining. I knew I was riding on a train. 
I heard much noise and many women were talking excitedly in 
the Czech language. Doors were pulled open and slammed shut. 
People shook me and shouted in Bohemian at me. I heard con- FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
177 
siderable noise. I had the feeling that I could not, or would 
not, open my eyes. They shouted to me that I must wake up 
and get off. I had the feeling that I must not do so. That I 
would do it only if the Schaffner ordered it! The Schaffner 
had said: "You go straight to Vienna and the baggage is in- 
spected at Gmiind." Therefore, I reflected, I must not stir from 
my place until we get to Gmiind, where the baggage is inspected. 
I made up my mind to resist all temptation, to show no curiosity, 
to keep my eyes shut and not stir from my place until we arrived 
at Gmiind. I reflected, thus will I prove to him my love and 
my obedience.119 Everything that happens is only to test me 
and I want to stand the test. They kept shouting at me, louder 
and louder, in Bohemian; a woman's voice cried very excitedly 
in German: "It is a convulsion, a hypnosis. A doctor, quick, call 
a doctor." When I heard the word "doctor" I turned my face 
to the wall and I perceived very plainly the odour of anaesthetic 
and, afterwards, the odour of roses. That brought to my mind 
the bouquet of roses which had always stood in front of his 
mother's door. The rose odour gave me a pleasurable feeling, 
I reflected, the bouquet now belonged to me I Men came into 
the coach and shook me; one of them stuck his fist under my 
chin. They shouted for me to wake up and get off. I felt the 
dog pawing at my knees, as if he were trying to stand up on 
my lap. I shoved him off. Women shouted in Bohemian: "Bess, 
pess, heski." (Dog, dog, nice!) I felt they were trying to carry 
me out of the car. I shouted: "I won't go, I won't go, I have 
a will of my own!" I clenched my fists and I controlled my 
curiosity to open my eyes. I reflected, I must remain steadfast! 
I thought the whole thing was a test, as in The Magic Fhite, 
where one goes through fire and water to prove one's love. 
I shouted: "I am going directly to Vienna, and my baggage is 
inspected at Gmiind." I thought I must not leave the coach 
before arriving at Gmiind, because the orderly had so ordered and 
I must resist all temptations. I had the feeling that men were 
standing around me. I tore off my hat and all the hair pins out 
of my hair; I threw away the hair pins and dug my hands in 
my hair. I cried, suddenly: "My name is Dora . . ." and I 
gave my maiden name; I did not want to bear my husband's 
name any more. I believe somebody must have asked me what 
my name was. I had the feeling that several persons were asking 
me questions. I held myself very much on guard. I opened 
my eyes for a moment and I saw I was being carried down 178 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
some stairs at a railroad station,-the place looked like the 
South Station (Vienna). I saw many people; I had the feeling 
that I would arouse attention, and reflected that I was not be- 
having like a "lady." That was not in "his" intentions; a lady 
does not behave in a notorious manner. Then I again opened 
my eyes for a moment; I saw myself lying on a sheet on the 
ground; four soldiers were standing around me, one at each 
end, and they were looking down at me. 
Again I had the sensation of riding, but it did not seem to 
be a train, it felt as if I were riding in a carriage. It was very 
warm; the sun seemed to shine directly on me; I was very 
glad and reflected, I am driving with my husband to the Tan- 
nenkogel; I had promised it to him and now I am fulfilling my 
promise.120 I felt that a man was sitting near me, while I was 
there without a hat and with my hair down. The man sitting 
by me remarked: "It'; warm!" Thereupon I drew my jacket 
more tightly around me, as if I felt cold and raised the collar 
and held it around the neck with my hand. 
I stood in the long corridor of a very handsome building. 
There was a broad stairway and an elevator. In the corridor 
I saw nuns running back and forth and people who looked poor 
and ailing, in hospital clothes, hobbling around with bandaged 
heads or limbs. I thought that a certain elderly, ailing man who 
walked with difficulty, supporting himself on a cane, was my 
husband. At the end of the corridor I saw from the distance a 
very old sick woman lying on a stretcher; I wanted to run to 
her and asked some one: "Is that my mother?" Receiving no 
answer, I thought, perhaps she is not my mother after all. I 
opened a number of doors one after another and, to my greatest 
horror, I saw only washrooms and baths. This scared me very 
much, for I reflected that something was not right when I see 
so many bathrooms in a row; it must be a hallucination. 
I asked a sister: "Where is my room? Take me quickly to 
my room!" She answered, rather unfriendly: "Now, wait, not 
so fast!" She led me to a room at the end of the long hall. 
It was a handsome white room with a large window. It looked 
like a sanitarium. It contained two beds, one with and the other 
without a metal trellis around it. There were also two wash 
stands of white enamelled iron in the room. I said to the sister: 
"Give me an enema, quick, I am constipated, ver stop ftI" (I 
meant verstockt, i.e., obdurate.) She looked at me with uncom- FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
179 
prehending eyes. I repeated: "An enema, a flushing, you un- 
derstand?" She said: "Yes, when the doctor comes." 121 
Then I was alone in the room. I tore all the clothes off me, 
and threw the clothes and my underwear to the floor with a ges- 
ture of disgust. I believe I stood for a moment at the window, 
but it was barred. I stretched myself entirely naked on the bed 
without the trellis, which stood near the window; I felt the 
warm sun on me; I had the feeling that the sun would do me 
good, that I was taking a warm, pleasant sun bath. 
The sister came in again and said: "Pfui, what are you lying 
all naked in front of the window for! Put on your shirt." She 
put over me a shirt which she had brought along; it seemed to 
have been a child's size. I sat at the edge of the trellised bed 
and said, pointing to the heap of clothes on the floor: "Clear 
away this trash." 122 
I noticed that I still had a little chain a md my neck; I took 
it off and threw it to the ground. She picked it up and asked 
me why I had thrown it away. I said: "It is for a child, and 
I am not a child; give it to a child." She asked whether a 
medallion hung on it. I said: "No, that is now the fashion." 
With bitter irony I added: "And I wore it because it is the 
fashion." 
She showed me paper money which was lying on my bed. I 
said: "That is not mine, it belongs to a poor, sick man; give it 
back to him." 123 
The sister put me to bed and drew the metal trellis around 
it. I reflected, perhaps I am a child after all, I wear a child's 
shirt and I am put to bed in a trellised bed, as when I was a child. 
Then I was alone. I shut my eyes and thought that it was 
all a dream-an evil dream. I shall go to sleep now and then 
wake up again in my bed in J. and everything will have been but 
a bad dream. After a time I opened my eyes; but the situation 
unfortunately had not changed. On the roof of the bed, which 
was also trellis-work, I saw a board on which something had 
been marked with chalk. I thought, perhaps, it contains some 
explanation. So I sat up in bed and tried to read the board from 
underneath. There was written on it: "Dora N., Aug. 28," and 
a figure of four digits. 
There were several persons in the room and a young man who 
sat on my bed said to me in a friendly tone: "Tell me what ails 
you; do have confidence in me." I exclaimed: "No, you are too 180 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
young for me; let the old man come over." I repulsed every one 
who approached my bed. 
I was again alone; the rest did me much good. The door 
opened; two frumpily dressed women, without stockings and 
wearing straw slippers, came into my room; they carried tin cups 
on a wooden tray and they put one on my wash stand. The 
contents looked like coffee. I tasted it, but it seemed to have 
no taste, and it looked horrible. I had the feeling that the whole 
occurrence was unreal. A fly was on my bed cover; I picked it 
up with my fingers and threw it off, but I had the feeling that 
my fingers were numb. 
A little girl came in. She stood in front of my bed, looking 
at me. I said to her: "I want a father confessor; let them call 
quickly a father confessor" She stepped out, returned presently 
and said: "The father confessor has been called away, he won't 
return before evening." I had the feeling that I was told this 
for consolation, but that they had no intention of sending after 
him for me. 
I looked at the child and saw that it had an inflamed eye. I 
asked her whether she was ill. She said: "Yes." I asked her 
whether she will have to stay there until her eye gets well. The 
little girl answered: "Yes." I reflected, I must also remain in 
the place until the girl's eye was no longer inflamed.124 
I looked at the eye and the swelling seemed to have already 
subsided. The child took from the wash stand drawer, which 
was open, the belt line which belonged to my waist. She asked: 
"What is this?" I said: "That is a Schlussband (i.e, belt line)." 
And I had the feeling as if I had said, that is the end (Schluss, 
i.e., end) ! The child rolled up the tape between her fingers and 
walked backwards towards the door and out, looking at me. I 
watched this as an interesting play scene on a stage. 
Then there came into my room an extremely stupid looking 
young man who wore a doctor's white coat and carried a notebook 
in his hand; he sat down on a chair at some distance from me. 
He asked me my name, where I came from and my Vienna 
address. I gave him the information. He asked: "Shall your 
husband come here ?" I said : "I am not anxious that he should." 
He said: "Shall we keep you here under observation?" I an- 
swered : "You must have seen such things before." Then he 
left. 
After a time he came back accompanied by a dreadful old 
man also clad in a white coat, who looked and talked like a FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
181 
peasant and who had horrible grey side whiskers and a red face. 
The electric lights were already burning in the room. The old 
man sat down on my bed, looked coolly and stupidly at me and 
asked me what my name was, and so forth. I reflected, I must 
gather my wits and answer correctly so that they won't think 
I am insane. I asked whether I was at a sanitarium. I thought 
I had been taken to Steinhof. I was told that I am at the 
General Hospital in B. I did not believe it. I said: "In Vienna 
we also have a General Hospital." They said: "Yes." I said 
I came from J. and was on my way back to Vienna to my mother, 
who was ill. I was asked what ailed her. I said: "Pneumonia." 
I was asked where my husband was. I said, he was at J., he was 
ill, he had rheumatism of the knee joint. 
The old man asked me whether I wanted them to wire to my 
husband. I said: "Yes." He gave me a sheet of paper and a pen- 
cil and said I should write the telegram. He said: "Write, 'I am 
at the General Hospital in B.'" I said: "I must tell him first 
that I became ill on the way, otherwise he won't understand how 
I got here." He said: "Very well." I wrote: "Became ill on 
the way, am at the General Hospital in B. Don't worry; condi- 
tion not serious. Wire whether I go to Vienna or return to you." 
As I wrote I pronounced the words aloud so that they might 
hear what I wrote. At the words, "condition not serious," I 
looked questioningly at the doctors and both nodded, saying the 
condition was not serious. The old man said to the other: "The 
telegram may be sent as it stands, but abbreviated." Then he 
examined me. He bent my knees and wanted to stick his fingers 
into my eyes. He said something to the other man, who re- 
marked : "It was different before." 
Presently some one mentioned the name, "Dr. L." I said: 
"Dr. L. is my brother-in-law." A strange man was called in 
and I was asked whether he is my brother-in-law. I said: "No." 
Then all left the room. 
I reflected, perhaps it was my brother-in-law, after all, and I 
have failed to recognize him. I asked the stupid-looking young 
doctor whether that man may have been my brother-in-law. He 
said, "I don't know," and walked out. 
I had also asked where my dog was. The old man had turned 
to the young doctor to ask him what dog I meant. The young 
man had said: "There was a dog with her; the orderly told 
me that the station doctor took him along." To me they said: 
"The dog is with Doctor Caro, who also owns a dog; he will 182 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
be taken good care of there." I thought that sounded unreal 
because they had said Doctor Caro. I reflected Caro is a dog-a 
Caro. 
I was again alone. On my wash stand next to the tin cup 
with the coffee there stood a tin plate, such as is used for dogs, 
containing a horrible pap and a very disgusting looking tin spoon. 
I reflected, it serves me right that I should have to eat dog 
feed, and I took the spoon and ate a few spoonfuls. The stuff 
had no odour and no taste. I thought I was surely in Steinhof 
(the asylum for the insane at Vienna) ; I had predicted to my 
husband so often he would get there; as punishment I myself 
landed there. As I held the spoon, I had no sensation in my 
fingers. I did not feel the spoon in my hand.125 
A stout, elegant physician, clad in white mantle, came in. 
But his face twitched nervously. I asked him whether he was 
the psychiatrist. He said: "No, I am from the surgical division." 
I asked him: "Then how do you come to me?" He said: "I 
come to you only out of human sympathy; I happened to be 
on service when you were brought in; I have the feeling that 
you are in trouble, that you are burdened with a great mental 
anguish." I said: "Yes, that is true; I have left my husband; 
I have deceived him four times and I told him so." He asked: 
"Have you really said this to him?" I said: "Yes; but I be- 
lieve somebody has hypnotized me and has made me do it." I 
asked him, since he had seen me when I was brought in, whether 
the condition in which I was at the time could have been brought 
on through hypnotism. He said: "Yes, that might have been 
hypnotism." I said: "But now I am better, hypnotism loses its 
hold at a distance, isn't that so?" He said: "Yes, hypnotism 
does not work at a distance." 
I asked him what time it was and what day; whether the 
inscription on the board over my bed gave the date of my 
arrival. He said, yes, I had arrived at three o'clock in the 
afternoon. The train which left Eger at ten o'clock at night 
must have arrived at B. not later than at eight o'clock in the 
morning, if it was a local, because an express covers the distance 
from Eger to B. in six hours. 
What happened to me from eight o'clock in the morning until 
three o'clock of that afternoon I do not know, for I remember 
only the few scraps which I have written down. 
I asked the doctor whether the number of the board over FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
183 
my bed was the number of the room. He said: "That is the 
hospital admission number." He asked me whether I recalled 
that I had ordered him once out of the room. I said, yes, because 
he was so young. He said that in the admission office I had 
given him very bright answers. I did not even know that I 
had been through the admission office. Then he said to me: 
"Madam, your arms are black and blue; you must have gone 
through quite an experience." I said I thought that the soldiers 
who carried me out of the train must have given me those black 
and blue marks. Presently I myself saw on both arms, as well 
as on my hands, large patches of discoloration; but they were 
not at all painful. Then he also said to me: "It seems to me, 
madam, that you have heart trouble." I said: "Yes, that is so, 
my heart is troubled, I have an unfortunate love affair." He 
looked at the dog fodder in the little tin plate and asked me 
whether I ate. I said: "Yes, I have eaten something." He 
asked me : "Was it appetizing?" I said: "Appetizing, it was not." 
He turned off the light and left the room. I had the feeling 
that I had offended him because I had said that the food was 
not appetizing. I reflected, I am always obdurate (verstockt). 
Before leaving he had let down the trellis around the bed so 
that I was not caged in any more. 
Lying alone in that dimly lit room, I began once more to 
realize my situation. I wrung my hands in despair, wondering 
what to do, what was going to happen with me. What would 
my husband say to my telegram, after all that had happened and 
after what I had confessed to him, will he answer me at all? 
Was I ill or was I well-and how long would I be kept at this 
place which is like a prison? I tossed restlessly in bed; I could 
not sleep. 
Suddenly I had to get up to move my bowels and I felt much 
reliez'ed at once; I knew I was no longer constipated (nicht mehr 
verstopft), I was no longer obdurate (nich mehr verstockt), the 
blueberry spell, too, was broken.126 I had said that afternoon 
to the young doctor who had first come to see me that I was 
constipated and that I could not pass my water. He remarked 
at that: "Then we must catheterize you." This had quieted 
me very much at the time, then I forgot all about it. Now it 
happened in a natural way and I fell quietly asleep. I was still 
flowing, though not as much as usual. 
When I awoke at daylight, I did not know at first where I 
was. Then I recalled the previous day's incidents and thought 184 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
I was at Steinhof. I arose and went to the window; it was a 
large window, but shut and barred. I looked out on a very 
pretty garden; the building was situated in the open; there was 
a large stone verandah around it-it looked like a very elegant 
sanitarium. I saw at a distance buildings bearing Bohemian 
signs-the word Budejovice was painted on one building; I re- 
flected, it was true that I was in B., I was not at Steinhof, 
although the places looked alike. 
I went back to bed. A frumpy, barefooted woman came in 
and swept the floor without first opening the window. I told 
her to open the window; she answered in Bohemian. I indicate 
by signs what I wanted her to do and she called a nurse. The 
sister said: "But you won't do such foolish things as you did 
yesterday?" and with a key she released the window bars. Only 
then could the window be opened. I told her to carry out the 
night vessel. She was very much surprised at this request, but 
did it. Her surprise was even greater when I asked her for 
a basin in which to wash. She brought me a very tiny one, of 
tin, a towel which was not larger than a handkerchief, and, at 
my insistent request, her own soap, another patient's little mirror, 
which she obtained in another room, and a broken piece of 
comb. 
Again two barefooted women came in; they were very friendly 
and left a little pot of coffee for me. But I said I would not 
drink it without milk and they brought me another little pot of 
light grey coffee. A very handsome, friendly nun, assisted by 
the little girl of yesterday, distributed bread from a basket; she 
asked me whether I wanted white or dark bread. I said: "Natu- 
rally, white." She gave me a couple of pieces. I ate both pieces 
at once and swallowed the terrible coffee; nothing had any taste, 
but I was in a pleasant mood; I found the hospital very inter- 
esting.127 
Again the old doctor came along with the young one. He was 
the chief. I told him that I was getting along very nicely; he 
said: "Certainly, you have over-fatigued yourself, you only need 
to rest here a couple of days." He said that I might get up. 
Towards the end of his visit he stated also that the telegram 
which I had written had not been sent, because the office had 
discovered my Vienna address through my passport and had 
wired to my husband to Vienna. I said he won't get the message 
as he was not at Vienna. He asked me whether they ought to 
send another telegram to J. I said, they might get him on the FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
185 
telephone; there was a telephone at the hotel; I should like to 
speak to him. 
The porter then came and told me that the ambulance orderly 
who had brought me was there and had left for me a note with 
Dr. Caro's address. Dr. Caro and his wife sent word that the 
dog was having good care and for me to call before I left. 
I was glad to know that the dog was in good hands, but I 
was much worried because a telegram had been sent to Vienna. 
I knew that all the letters and telegrams addressed to my husband 
were turned over to my brother for disposition, and I was hor- 
rified to think what a scare such a telegram would give him and 
mother. 
I asked what the telegram was. I was told it was worded: 
"Mrs. L. ill at General Hospital in B. Come at once." 
Meanwhile Dr. M. called to see me. I told him that the thought 
that my brother might come to the hospital for me was very 
annoying. I reflected, it would be much better if my husband 
came, because he knew already what it was about, and I did not 
intend to confide to my brother the least information about what 
had happened. But on the other hand I had a longing to see 
him; and it did not occur to me at all that I could wire again 
to say that I was better and that nobody need come. I imagined 
that my second telegram would get there too late, anyway; he 
must have left as soon as he received the first telegram. 
A fatalistic feeling came over me; I did not want to do a 
thing and left to mere chance whether my husband or my brother 
should come to take me home. 
The sister came and said I might get up. She brought me a 
ridiculous white petticoat and a little white night jacket, which 
I pulled over my night shirt, and a pair of straw slippers with- 
out stockings. I could not do up my hair because I had been 
given only a couple of hair pins. 
I looked like a "humble penitent." But I thought it was per- 
fectly proper. I had the feeling that the place was a combina- 
tion of nunnery, insane hospital and prison. I reflected it served 
me right, I did not deserve anything better. 
Dr. M., in great embarrassment, told me that there was found 
but little money in my pocketbook; that on the admission to 
the hospital an advance payment for 14 days was customary, and 
that I had been placed in the third class division because I had 
not enough money with me. He said he would be glad to 
arrange for me to be transferred to a better class division, because 186 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
the food and the service were superior. I said that I did not 
desire a change, that I am entirely satisfied and that I hoped 
to leave soon. He said I would have to be called for because 
patients are not permitted to go forth alone. The sister said 
she would take me to the porch, where I could lie in the sun. 
I felt very embarrassed to go through the corridor dressed as 
I was. I saw horrible men and women strolling around in the 
corridor; all stared at me and conversed loudly in the Czech 
language among themselves. When I arrived on the porch I saw 
there bandaged men and women lying around on invalid chairs. 
I said to the sister, I won't stay here; I thought I would be 
alone on the porch; I preferred to go back to my room rather 
than stay with all those people. I returned to my room. 
A woman brought me another cup of coffee for a second 
breakfast; I told her in sign language that she might drink the 
coffee. She was very glad and brought me a tin of soup, which 
I could not swallow because it was abominable. 
Then the sister brought me my bag and satchel. In the bag 
I had my pocketbook, which contained around seventy Czech 
and around twenty Austrian kronen. The two rings which my 
brother had given me were also in it. At Eger, shortly after 
my arrival, I had taken them off my finger and had put them 
in the pocketbook; and I thought at the time that I would sell 
them as soon as I got to Vienna and with the money settle the 
account of Dr. H., the orthopedist. My watch and third class 
ticket were also in the pocketbook; also several dog cards. The 
ticket was marked "Neudorf." I wondered very much why I 
had a ticket for Neudorf. I recalled that on the Baden local 
there was a station called Wiener-Neudorf and that my husband 
had always said to me in jest to get off there because a woman's 
prison was located at the place. I could not understand how I 
happened to have a ticket for Neudorf in my possession. Then 
I was told that Neudorf was the nearest station to B., and that 
all passengers for B. go as far as Neudorf. I was given at 
Eger a ticket to B., because there was no direct train to Vienna 
from that place. In my fairly capacious travel bag I was amazed 
to find nothing more than a very elegant nightgown, toothbrush 
and paste, a couple of handkerchiefs, a quantity of menstruation 
pads and the dog's bowl; no comb, no soap, no mirror, no sponge 
-not even a wash rag. I thought I had done much packing in J. 
But except for the above-mentioned articles the bag was empty. 
Dr. M. called to see me. I thanked him very much for his FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
187 
interest. I said, I wish he would come as as he could spare 
a little time, because he was the only person in the place with 
whom I could talk. 
I told him some of the occurrences which had happened in J. 
Dr. M. said to me: "On hearing this one would think that you 
really must have been out of your mind. I do not believe that 
you told your husband all this." 
I assured him that I had really done so. 
I asked him whether he thought I had done it under hypnotic 
influence. He said he could not believe that the gentleman in 
question had asked me to do such a thing. I said that what I 
most desired to know was whether he had really suggested: "And 
now tell your husband everything." 
I asked him further whether he thought that my husband would 
come for me to B., after my revelations. He asked whether my 
husband was a kind-hearted man and whether he had treated me 
kindly. I told him, my husband was very kind, that he had 
always treated me well, but that he was sick and impotent. He 
thought my husband would forgive me. Then he said to me: 
"Dear madam, you are from Vienna; in Vienna there is a 
physician, a certain Dr. Stekel, go and ask him." I said: "I 
know Dr. Stekel, but he is not for me; he is only for persons 
who do not know what is the matter with them, but I know 
what's wrong with me; I am suffering on account of an un- 
fortunate love, nobody can help that." 
At three o'clock a porter rushed in to call me down to the 
office in a hurry. I could talk with J. He said: "But hurry, 
hurry!" Going downstairs my knees shook so that I could hardly 
walk; I realized only then how weak I was. 
In the office there hung a looking-glass mirror; I looked hor- 
ribly bad. I felt uncomfortable facing the personnel, on account 
of my petticoat and little night jacket. 
I spoke with my husband. I said: "I am at Budweis in the 
hospital; come in the morning and take me; if you start early 
in the morning you can get here around three o'clock." My 
husband asked : "What is the matter with you ?" I said: "I don't 
know." I asked him whether he had spoken with "him." He 
said "yes." I asked: "Did he hypnotize me?" My husband 
answered: "He is not what you think." 
He promised that he would positively start in the morning; 
then the conversation was over. 
I was visibly reassured to know that he would come. In the 188 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
evening I again became depressed. I felt bored and very lonely. 
The sister brought me an issue of the Kronenzeitung which was 
several days old; but the reading taxed my strength very badly. 
Dr. M. called frequently on me. Around seven o'clock I was 
called to the telephone. J. wanted to talk to me. But only the 
room clerk was at the telephone. He said my husband had 
pressed for a connection, but was not to be found anywhere 
around the hotel. I asked whether I could talk to Mr. N. (the 
painter). I was told he had left at two o'clock. I asked him to 
tell my husband that I was feeling better and that I wanted him 
to start positively in the morning. 
I slept better than on the previous night, but had to get up 
once. When I started to go out I found that I was locked in 
my room. The third day was Sunday. The chief of service 
came at eight o'clock and told me that on the previous afternoon 
J. had called him on the telephone but that he was out. He 
said I must not venture to go out alone; I must wait until 
some one comes to escort me, otherwise I may again commit 
follies. Shortly after that the porter came and told me that I 
had been called on the telephone at n o'clock at night, but that 
he could not get to me because my room was locked and the 
sister who had the key to my room could not be located. 
I got up. As there was no wash bowl in my room, I went 
to the washroom. On this occasion I convinced myself that a 
number of bathrooms and washrooms were actually strung in a 
row along the corridor-a discovery which had so badly fright- 
ened me on my arrival. The bathtubs roused my indescribable 
aversion; I should not have bathed there under any considera- 
tion. Horrible men and women were strolling along the cor- 
ridor, wearing straw slippers, with terrible limbs, without stock- 
ings. Their ugly limbs repelled me. I was afraid that while 
I washed myself, a man might enter the bathroom and I begged 
the sister to stand on guard, because the door could not be 
locked. The sister gave me also a second tiny towel. While I 
washed myself nuns and children came in and looked at me 
with -.stonishment. They had never seen a person washing or 
brushing the teeth. The children, in particular, were lost in 
astonishment. Besides myself nobody in the whole hospital 
used the washrooms. One of the sisters said I was clean and 
handsome anyway-I did not need to go through such ablutions. 
I was followed by a whole crowd as I went back to my room. 
There I was surprised to find my white waist, which I had FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
189 
worn on the journey, and the bodice. I put them on at once 
and felt a little more human; with them I wore also that re- 
markable petticoat. At n o'clock I was again called to the 
telephone. My husband was on the wire. I asked him why he 
had not started. He said, he had asked his doctor, who told 
him it might do him harm to interrupt his treatment; I must 
proceed alone to Vienna. He had called me at 11 o'clock on the 
previous night, but I was already in bed. I said I could not 
leave alone; I could not get my clothes; I surmised they con- 
sidered me irresponsible. He asked why I was at the hospital. 
I said, I had an attack of unconsciousness. I asked him to come 
for me-we would then talk over everything. He asked what 
was to be done with all my clothes which I had left there. I 
said for him to leave everything,-that I would return to J. with 
him. He promised that he would positively leave on the follow- 
ing morning and would come to get me. 
The conversation had excited me very much; I thought he 
might change his mind again and I might never get away. 
Then I spoke with the office girl in the admission room. She 
asked me if I felt better. She told me that when I was brought 
I was kept for some time in the admission room; I had no rec- 
ollection of this. She said I had answered very adroitly all ques- 
tions. I had also asked where I was, and on being told that 
I was at a hospital, I seemed very much relieved. I knew noth- 
ing of this. I asked her how I got to the hospital. She said 
the station doctor had sent me in the ambulance with the diag- 
nosis, "Mental aberration"; what had happened at the railroad 
station she did not know. 
Then I went upstairs and in the corridor I met Dr. M. He 
asked the nurse, in the Czech language, to bring me my stockings 
and shoes. I thought this was very nice of him. The sister was 
prevailed upon to do this only after some persuasion. She 
brought me my shoes, stockings, and my bodice, because without 
it I could have not held up my stockings. I was happy not to 
have to roam around any longer barefoot and in those sloppy 
straw slippers which I lost at every step. 
Dr. M. came to my room. I asked him if he did not think 
it strange that I should be unable to recall at all the appearance 
of the gentleman who had hypnotized me.128 He said that 
frequently happens when we are very fond of some one. I told 
him also that I had lost all sensation in my finger tips. He said 
that was a hysterical symptom. PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
190 
My sense of taste had improved; I could now distinguish 
what I ate. The weather was beautiful; Dr. M. sat with me at 
the open window, in the sun. I said to him: "The weather is 
so beautiful and I must linger here as in a prison and eat poor 
food. How beautiful it must be at J.! There everything was 
so elegant; and on Sunday the menu was always so appetizing! 
How foolish I had been to leave; I had no real reason for doing 
so." He said: "Well, why did you leave when you were so com- 
fortable there? This surely was folly on your part!" I said: 
"But I was hypnotized; I was under the influence of another's 
will! I wish I knew whether 'he' had really said that I must 
tell my husband everything." 
He brought me bread and apples; I believe it was his break- 
fast. I thought that was very nice of him. He said also that 
he wanted to divide his food with me because the physicians 
received better fare; but I refused to accept this offer. I im- 
agined that the sisters were scandalized because he called on 
me so frequently. 
That afternoon a sister invited me for a stroll in the garden. 
At six o'clock we returned and went upstairs. As time hung 
heavy on my hands, I went to bed early-at seven o'clock. Four 
sisters came in whom I had not seen before. I said: "To-morrow 
I leave, my husband is coming for me." They were extremely 
jealous because I had a husband. 
Next day I went first of all to the office to put in a call for J.; 
I wanted to know whether my husband had really started, at last. 
I got fairly prompt connection with the hotel. The porter told 
me that my husband had left that morning and that he ought to 
arrive at B. around three o'clock. I was appreciably relieved. 
I also pondered over the fact that I had not heard from Vienna, 
and I decided to wire and write to Vienna at once. I wired: 
"Had a nervous attack in B., am already well, returning to- 
morrow to J. with husband. Wire mother's condition." Then 
I wrote my brother an extensive letter, stating that I have had 
myself hypnotized, for fun, at J.; this had made me so nervous 
that I thought mother's condition had grown worse and that I 
had to go to Vienna at once. The excitement had brought on a 
nervous shock on the way and I was taken to the hospital in B.; 
but I was well again. 
To the girl in the office, to whom I delivered the telegram for 
transmission, I told that the reason for my nervous breakdown 
was that I started to go to my mother, who was ill in Vienna; FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
I had left my sick husband alone and the conflict whether I 
ought to go to mother or stay with my husband had unsettled 
my nerves so that I broke down.129 
At last the physician-in-chief came. After lengthy formalities 
he issued permission for me to put on my clothes and go to the 
railroad station for my husband. He said, my husband would 
have to stay with me in my hospital room that night because 
we could not leave before the following day. 
I wanted to go first for the dog. Dr. M. accompanied me 
to the City, which was situated at some distance from the hos- 
pital. I asked him whether I should tell my husband the truth 
and beg him to forgive me or whether I should merely say that 
the hypnosis had befuddled my brain and that what I had told 
was but the fancy of a disordered mind. He said: "My advice 
to you is, don't say too much; it is not always advisable to tell the 
whole truth." 
He accompanied me to Dr. Caro's residence. I celebrated a 
touching reunion with my*dog, who was beside himself with joy. 
I asked Dr. C., what had happened at the station, what had 
I done? He answered, dodgingly: "Such occurrences are not 
infrequent when one has been to Carlsbad." I said: "I was 
not at Carlsbad. I had been at J.; to-day my husband comes 
for me." I said I thought I had been hypnotized. He said: "I 
don't believe it; one cannot be hypnotized against one's will!" 
He also asked me: "But tell me, what made you so shy of the 
people?" I knew nothing about it. 
He said also: "At any rate your behaviour was very striking. 
There was a lady in the train who said she knew your brother 
and mentioned your maiden name. Then you, too, called out this 
name. But subsequently we found your passport and we did 
not need the lady; she continued on her way to Vienna." 
I reflected; this must have been the lady who had called out 
in German: "That is a convulsion, that is hypnotism!" 
Then I went to the station. The porter greeted me in a kindly 
manner and asked me whether I felt better. On the platform 
the railway guards who had carried me out came towards me 
and asked me how I felt. Also, the man with the bell, who 
announces the trains, and the girl in charge of the newspaper 
stand came up and greeted me and the dog. 
I asked what had been the trouble with me. One soldier said: 
"You were asleep yet gazing around you." Another said: "You 
took something into your head; one mustn't take something into 
191 192 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
one's head." The news-stand girl told me I had been roaming 
around for a long time with my eyes shut; the ladies' room 
attendant walked behind me with outstretched hands to save 
me from falling. Then she told me also that I sat on a bench 
on the platform, that I had thrown down my hat and my hair 
pins and that every time these things were picked up and put 
back on my bench I shoved them off again. I repulsed the dog 
unmercifully. The dog cowered near me on the floor. 
Finally the train arrived. My husband did not come. I was 
very depressed. I asked when the next train was due. I was 
told, at nine o'clock in the evening. I was told, my husband 
could not have made connection with this train. It had left 
Eger at seven o'clock in the morning. 
I walked back to the City. I went to a hairdresser who 
washed and waved my hair very prettily and, much to the 
amusement of the employees, I had her also wash the dog and 
dry him with the electric drier. Then I telephoned to the hos- 
pital that I would return late because my husband would not 
arrive before nine o'clock. 
I took the dog with me to the restaurant; there I drank coffee, 
ate many goodies and read the newspapers. I felt well, was 
glad to know that my husband was coming for me, and did not 
worry for a moment over the talk I should have with him. 
Around six o'clock I walked all the way to the hospital. Then 
I walked back to the station with Dr. M. I said to him: "Our 
first meeting will undoubtedly be very distressing. I don't quite 
know what to say to him." Dr. M. said: "I advise you, don't 
say too much." I told him: "Now I have really had enough of 
men; never again will I have anything to do with one; you can 
see to what a pass they bring one. My husband, after all, is the 
best man of all; he is sick, yet he breaks his course of treatment 
to come here for me, after everything I had done and after what 
I had told him. Not another one of those men would have made 
such a sacrifice for me; they were merely pursuing their own 
pleasure." I added: "I had deceived him so often, only because 
he was impotent; but I don't care for that sort of thing any 
more; I am already a woman in years; that sort of thing must 
end some time." Dr. M. said: "One is never too old for that; 
I advise you, Madam, get yourself a sturdy lover; that will be 
the best thing for you." 130 
Then I went alone to the station. All my acquaintances were 
again there and they greeted me and the dog: the four soldiers, FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
193 
the man with the bell, the porter, the matron and the news-stand 
girl. I told them, this time my husband would surely come. I 
was volubly glad over it. I reflected, if he would not come this 
time to take me away, I should have to stay forever in that 
horrible hospital. 
When the train pulled into the station, I was still undecided 
whether to tell my husband the truth and ask his forgiveness 
or whether to lie to him and say that it was not true, that I had 
told such nonsense only because hypnotism had befuddled my 
brain. 
I was very excited as the last passengers stepped off the train. 
My husband was one of the last to alight; I had already begun 
to fear that he would not come. 
When I saw him looking so badly as he leaned on his cane 
and limped towards me, I fell on his neck; I kissed him, embraced 
him and, filled with compassion and pity, I said that everything 
I had told him in J. was untrue: the hypnosis had made me 
ill and had befuddled my brain; everything I had then told him 
had been said while I was out of my mind. He was visibly 
relieved; he really did not look like a man able to stand the truth; 
I was glad that at the decisive moment I was prompted to say 
the right thing. 
We dined together at the hotel. We both had a very good 
appetite. I told him about my illness and about what I had gone 
through at the hospital. I was very keen to hear what conversa- 
tion he had had with "him." He told me the conversation, which 
he had had immediately upon his return from the station. He 
had said to him: "Mr. N., you have deceived me with my wife." 
He wanted to deny it, but my husband said to him: "Excuse me, 
sir, but my wife herself has confessed it to me." After that he 
admitted it with his silence. Then he told my husband that I 
had given him the impression of being mentally unbalanced; he 
should have not permitted me to leave alone.131 My husband's 
retort to this was that I talked very sensibly to him, except that 
I seemed changed; all my evil traits had been transformed into 
their opposite. I seemed a person who had been refined. My 
husband told him that after what had happened, of course, he 
would divorce me; that he could not continue to live with a 
woman who named to him offhand the five different persons with 
whom she had deceived him. "He" thought I was not normal, 
and that it was my husband's duty to place me under Prof. 
Freud's care at Vienna. My husband said to him: "If I were  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
194 
in your place I would marry this woman. When a woman loves 
one as devotedly as my wife seems to love you, and as she has 
described her affection to me, it is the best thing to marry her. 
She has told me that you completely dominate her. She won't 
deceive you; she will always be true to you." He retorted that 
it was not his intention ever to marry. 
For two days after that my husband and he maintained the 
best relations. Saturday, shortly before I telephoned for the 
first time, "he" left. Before he went away he said good-by to 
my husband and asked him the amount of my dowry. My hus- 
band said he surmised I would write him and asked him to let 
him know whether I had arrived safely in Vienna. 
We passed the whole night at the hotel conversing and we 
did not sleep. Sometimes my husband showed signs of doubting 
whether I told him the truth; each time I promptly dispelled 
his uncertainty. 
He told me, Mr. N., after all, had admitted with his silence 
that something had happened between us; I said, he did this 
so as to pass for a potent man. Then my husband told me 
also that "he" had said, I was a person through whom Freud 
could learn a thing or two. But he was very glad that every- 
thing was untrue,-glad that what I had told him was but an 
ugly dream. 
On the following day we returned to J. 
I devoted myself exclusively to the care of my husband; but 
at the same time my thoughts were always on the painter. I 
feel that I love him terribly; but I do not have the heart to 
forget my dear, brave husband. 
Only once he asked me again whether anything had happened 
between me and Mr. N. I said: "He did want to do something 
to me, but he was impotent!" That amused my husband very 
much and he laughed heartily. 
My other confessions he regarded as fabrications and he never 
referred to them again. 
On the way back to Vienna I began again to flirt and I re- 
flected: "You are a shameless person! Is that true love?" 
I endeavored to think only of the painter; his image accom- 
panied me to Vienna. 
Dear Doctor: My confession is ended. I have recorded accu- 
rately everything as it happened. I want to conclude my account 
with a little epilogue. FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
195 
The patient concluded her lengthy account with an epilogue 
in the form of a poem which showed that she had regained 
her humor. Her love for the painter is entirely over. The 
image which fills her is her brother, to whom the painter 
in question bears some resemblance, a fact which explains 
some things. 
The important question whether the painter had ordered 
her to tell her husband everything was settled by means of 
after inquiries. He had not asked her to do anything of the 
kind. Nevertheless Dora endeavored to pick up the threads 
again in Vienna. She sought and found his sweetheart and 
was gratified to see that she could well afford to measure 
her charms with that woman. But the latter,-a very intel- 
ligent and resourceful woman,-gave her to understand that 
the painter had had many little adventures but could not live 
without her. They would have married long ago but for the 
opposition of his parents. Meanwhile the analysis demolished 
her idol by showing him up in his true light. In fact she 
had perceived the truth, though dimly, and that was the reason 
for her flight. She needed the love merely as a justification 
for her conduct. 
She showed the best intentions of carrying on the task 
to the end and I encouraged her. She gave up her relations 
with the frivolous women companions. The scoundrel at- 
tempted to approach her again but she behaved coolly. He 
even called at her home but was dismissed once for all. Then 
the scoundrel threatened her with blackmail, wanting to compel 
her to give herself to him, and threatened to tell her husband 
everything. The threats were without effect. Her husband 
was not dangerous; in fact he was not anxious to get at the 
truth and was happy to be able to hold on to his wife. The 
officer's letters remain unanswered and the orthopedist who, on 
meeting her on the street once, tried to induce her to resume 
their old love alphabet, was also repulsed (not without inner 
resistance). To be sure, the longing for a child is not allayed. 
She feels that she will never become a mother and has mo- 
ments when she feels very unhappy over that. From the 
painter she received a couple of cards during the first few 
weeks, after that he did not write again. 196 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
As her poem indicated, her moral change could not endure 
for long. I made it plain to her that she would never find 
gratification with a man to whom she was not married, and 
advised her to give up trying. That made her very unhappy. 
She would like to add another to her string of lovers in spite 
of her experiences in J. 
It would trespass the limits of this work if I recorded 
here the whole analysis. But I introduce one dream which 
depicts her behaviour, and renders it comprehensible: 
One of my brother's friends calls to persuade me to go on 
an excursion with him. First I have to go on an errand to 
get some money. I look for my booth at the bank; I am shown 
the correct door. In the anteroom there is an invalided soldier, 
wounded on the knee. I feel great pity for him and want to 
give him some money. I haven't any. I must first draw it from 
the bank. At the booth I am told that my brother has already 
drawn all my money. I said to my brother: Then you don't 
want me to go on the excursion ? 
The dream is fairly transparent. Her brother's friend has 
the figure and appearance of the painter. She is to go on 
an excursion with him. The reality of the Ausfltig (i.e., 
excursion, outing, but literally "out-flight"), so vividly de- 
scribed in her autobiographic account, is annulled. It is 
yet in her power to abandon the project. Money stands for 
love. She must first lift her affection from her brother and 
bestow it upon the painter. The invalid soldier is her hus- 
band. She would like to give him her love. She must first 
draw it from the bank (the innermost recess of her heart- 
her emotional fixation-her childhood), but her brother is in 
possession of her whole love. She married her husband in 
order to remain true to her brother. The theme of excursion, 
outing, running away, again recurs. It is in her brother's 
power to prevent the Ausflug. 
Her flight was to the brother, whom she had regarded as 
the wisest man in the world. For a short time she thought 
that the painter was wiser and more resourceful. She felt 
herself wholly his obedient slave. 
The motive of her fleeing home was the inner realization FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
197 
of her humiliating plight. She noticed that the painter made 
love to every woman in the place and she was jealous, though 
unwilling to admit it to herself. She felt herself as his 
creature, but only emphasized and overstressed and caricatured 
her weakness, so as to be able to justify her conduct under 
that pretext. She was in love with her husband, calling him 
uncle, and she lived with him in brotherly harmony. That 
explains the fact that she stood for his impotence so long 
without a murmur. She was overwhelmed by his kindness and 
suffered tortures under the reproaches of her conscience. 
Finally she fled to her mother, in order to wind up the situa- 
tion. Thus her moral impulse proved stronger than the 
amoral. She felt the need of confessing and that made her 
think the painter said what he had really never said, but she 
wanted much to hear: "Tell your husband everything. Con- 
fess. Hold nothing back." That was also her revenge. He 
boasted that she was in his power. She had noticed that 
he was very much afraid of scandal and a coward. She 
was going to show him that even "telepathy" had its limits. 
He had talked her into thinking that she was a Nora. Now 
she wanted to act like a genuine Ibsen character and go 
through the great episode of confessing. 
But how shall I characterize the other hero of this story, 
the precious painter? One must not think that he was an 
obscure artist. He has a very high reputation, ranking as 
one of the chief modern painters. I have seen many of his 
paintings. They are grotesquely ugly and disclose the dis- 
order within his soul. His paintings are as ugly as the con- 
versations which he carried on with Dora. The brutal manner 
in which he told her of his secret observations does not 
bespeak a "fine artistic soul," as we represent it to ourselves 
when we endeavour to endow the concept of artist with life. 
He speaks of his paraphilias as of heroic deeds. He strikes 
a weak, fascinated woman in the face and imagines having 
done something great. He drives Dora into illness and does 
not find it worth his while to escort her to the station, or 
to bring her to Vienna, although he must have seen that she 
was seriously ill. Dora languished for a poetic experience, 
for an adventure, for rapturous episodes, to animate her 198 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
colourless existence. Instead of that she meets with coarse- 
ness. She became acquainted with the vilest side of the artist 
type. Justly she reproached him: "Why don't you command 
me to do something useful, something that would improve 
me at the same time?" 
The case is also of forensic interest. Many lay persons 
take pleasure in using waking suggestion and even hypnosis, 
partly as a social pastime, partly to indulge in the fiction 
of possessing an unusually strong personality. The case 
illustrates the dangers of this irresponsible form of conduct. 
The woman might have easily been led to her death by the 
painter's experiments in suggestion. What might not have 
happened to her during the hypnotic spell-she imitated a hyp- 
notic seance which she had attended. She was lucky to meet 
kindly persons who did not take advantage of the situation. 
Finally we must understand that she already regretted her 
fleeing home while she was on her way and wanted to re- 
turn to her husband. The whole attack was distinctly an 
adroit preparation for attaining this end and not coming 
to Vienna. Already the missing of the first train indicated 
this tendency. The flight impulse was an imitation of the 
Nora conflict. Nora left her husband, therefore Dora had 
to do likewise. 
The painter's abuse of her personality fostered a para- 
pathiac reaction. If he had conquered her without effort, 
like his predecessors, without compelling her to submit to 
the various unpleasant telepathic experiments, she might have 
perhaps gone through the experience without damage. But 
her sexual anesthesia shows that she can not submit her- 
self to any man. She is afraid to awaken her senses. She 
knows that she would be lost and she utilizes her fixation 
on the brother which protects her from becoming outright a 
prostitute. To be sure the prostitute is her ideal but it is also 
her horror. She played the flirt as one plays with fire, in 
order to accustom herself to the fire. At bottom she is a good, 
average, respectable wife, with the average housewife's in- 
stincts. Her flight from the health resort is a return to 
respectability. The amoral imperative which drove her from 
man to man has a strong counter force in an inner moral FLIGHT INTO PARAPATHIAC DELIRIUM 
199 
imperative, which will finally change her into a pious devotee, 
as soon as she will have rounded safely the rocky promontory 
represented by the climacterium. 
Dora, at bottom, is of a respectable nature. Deep within 
her there slumbers the longing for a higher life, such as the 
artist represents to her. In her sexualized state she could 
indulge in the illusion of having found a nobler man. Was 
her ideal an artist, or a respectable citizen possessing artistic 
talent? Or was her ideal a fusion of both? Werner Sombart 
distinguishes two fundamental types in life: the practical- 
minded man (Wirtschaftmensch) and the artist. He speaks 
of their contrasting natures as follows: "But the perception 
forces itself almost spontaneously that the difference between 
these two fundamental types, in the last analysis, depends on 
a difference in their love life. For obviously the latter deter- 
mines man's whole conduct like a supreme, invisible power. 
The polar opposites in the world are the practical-minded and 
the erotic characters." 
Is this contrast correct? Is the painter of an erotic and 
Dora fundamentally of a practical-minded temperament? Un- 
fortunately such schematization of human nature does not hold. 
Both forces, obviously, dwell in every human being, as I 
have shown already in my Language of Dreams. In this in- 
stance Dora was the victim of a fiction. Her erotic nature 
sought an artistic objective, the "love artist," and she found a 
practical-minded individual who wanted to learn from her 
husband the amount of her dowry. . . . 
I must not forget to mention that the whole delirium took 
place just before and during menstruation. Her awaken- 
ing coincided with the end of the menstruation period. That 
proves an old truth, that women during that period are under 
the control of endocrinic toxins. They are sexualized, so that 
the conflicts between instinct and repression become fiercer 
and the impulses require stronger inhibitions than usual. IV 
NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
Man's whole life shows one continual need: to find himself, 
to understand himself. 
Feuchtersleben. 
We have already shown that man's eagerness for euphoria 
leads him to adopt also forbidden ways for achieving grati- 
fication. Often the forbidden act becomes a source of pleasure 
merely because it involves the cancelling of a prohibition. This 
form of pleasure we have described as an expression of the 
life urge. If the life urge decreases we are confronted with 
a state of lowered vitality, there is a shrinking of the life 
zest, which we call depression. But life is a continual flux 
between pleasure and unpleasure, between tension and release, 
between euphoria, or the state of well-being, and the reverse 
state, which we call dysphoria. Naturally, human beings al- 
ways endeavor to achieve a state of enhanced well-being, the 
all-is-well feeling, in a word, euphoria, by various indulgences. 
Indulgence, in itself, is a pleasurable experience. 
All food and drink may be divided into stimulants, which 
rouse, or excite, and sedatives, which lower, or depress. Some 
of the food or drink substances ingested combine the two 
effects, for instance, alcohol, which at first stimulates and sub- 
sequently depresses. 
It is an error to suppose that the true drinker, particularly 
the periodic drinker, always enjoys his sprees. There are 
drinkers who indulge with a sense of aversion but who feel 
themselves driven to drink. They drink partly in spite of 
their inner aversion and drink to become intoxicated, i.e., they 
strive to attain narcosis.1 
The craving for narcosis increases from year to year. On 
the one hand sleeplessness is on the increase, on the other 
our chemical industry has devised many new soporifics, so 
that in addition to the morphine and opium addicts we now 
200 NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
have a large number of adalinists, veronalists, sulphonal 
eaters, etc. 
Let us proceed to the crux of the matter: all these narcotic 
drug addicts are persons of impulsive temperament impelled 
to induce narcosis in themselves in order to suppress some 
unbidden impulse. The drug addicts are always parapathiacs 
who are afraid of themselves and, through the use of the nar- 
cotic drugs, they render themselves socially adjustable. 
In the preceding chapters we have given the case histories of 
drinkers who combined wanderlust (uneasiness, inner unrest, 
anxiety) with inebriety. Other narcotomaniacs show similar 
associations. They are restless, tremendously excited (hence 
often sleepless), they run aimlessly around the streets, cannot 
get along at home, and at last intoxicate themselves (with 
drink or drugs) in order to quiet down. 
All cases of this character harbor impulses which are asocial 
and which must be suppressed. The particular impulse in a 
given case undergoes transformation in the course of time. 
It becomes an impulsive craving for the narcotic drug, because 
leaving out the narcotic is associated with tremendous anxiety. 
Thus far the agitation has been regarded, mostly, a somatic 
symptom (manifestation of abstinence). But my professional 
experience shows that the feeling of agitation preceded the nar- 
cotomania. The addicts suffer from agitation, or depression, 
and that is what led them in the first place to indulge in 
narcotic drugs. Through their narcotic indulgences they seek 
peace and forgetfulness. 
All cases of this type disclose a serious parapathy, which 
leads to some impulsive outbreak. That is why many persons 
of this impulsive temperament become narcotomaniacs. They 
flee from their depression as well as from the feeling of rest- 
lessness which accompanies the depression. 
The best known type is the drinker, and we see him in two 
clinical forms: (i) the habitual inebriate; (2) the periodic 
drinker. 
The habitual drinker is always a parapathiac. Certain 
psychiatrists claim that they have often found hysteria or 
neurasthenia among dipsomaniacs and regard these troubles 
as a consequence of the alcoholic intoxication, but that is an 
201 202 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
erroneous conclusion. The drink craving is traceable to the 
parapathy. There is always a serious mental conflict; the 
subject is in conflict with himself, with the environment or 
with society as a whole. The causes of this conflict are 
various. Next to wounded pride, morbid sexual life plays 
the chief role. Drunkards suffer from serious paraphilias 
(sadism, necrophilia, paedophilia, zoophilia, etc.); nearly all 
of them are latent homosexuals; they are incestuously fixed 
(parents, children, sisters or brothers, grandparents, aunts, 
etc.) ; in milder instances they are the victims of an unhappy 
love affair.2 They are unable to attain their sexual objective 
or else have lost it.3 
It is very significant that many drunkards suffer from "a 
feeling of loneliness." 4 They have no one to whom they 
can talk themselves out, no one understands them, there is 
none who can penetrate the depths of their soul. That feeling 
of loneliness often precedes the drinking spree. Company is 
sought as a means of overcoming the sense of loneliness. 
Alcohol unloosens the tongue. Often the personality changes. 
Loquacious persons become quiet, while the taciturn begin to 
babble, displaying an uncontrollable impulse to talk, lecture, 
advise, speak out, or confess. 
There are two types of drinkers: the solitary and the social. 
The solitary is the type that appears very frequently a con- 
firmed dipsomaniac. 
Bleuler, in his excellent Lehrbuch der Psychiatric, gives 
an exhaustive account of chronic alcoholism-the continual 
drinker. He points out that the ethical degradation, the blunt- 
ing of the feelings associated with the drink habit, is met but 
occasionally. "The majority are drinkers of better disposi- 
tion, still capable of higher feelings." Next in frequency are 
the degenerates and, lastly, the innately brutal and the de- 
fective. There are various transitional stages as well as com- 
binations between these groups. Naturally I am concerned 
with the first group, inasmuch as I have had no opportunity 
to familiarize myself with the others. Bleuler emphasizes the 
sudden shifting of the alcoholic's disposition from meekness 
to brutality, their lack of resistance, the unstable character 
of their emotional life, and the all-is-well predisposition of NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
203 
their affectivity, which, according to my professional experi- 
ence, often is intended merely to cover an underlying anxiety 
and depression or to stifle the voice of conscience. 
An extensive account of the alcoholic would carry us beyond 
the limits of this work. The alcoholic's chief traits are : avoid- 
ance of work, infantile, unsteady character, markedly height- 
ened irritability, predisposition to wandering, in most cases 
restricted sexual activity combined with a heightened predis- 
position to jealousy, unstable emotionality, and, frequently, 
during the intoxication, a mixed sense of dread and humor, 
which seems characteristic of the subject's whole life course 
as well, so that his spells of depression and elation succeed 
frequently one another. It is not true that the alcoholic is 
mentally inferior. Alcoholics frequently belong to the specially 
gifted type; they are found also among persons of genius. The 
large number of habitual drinkers among the prominent artists 
is enough to dispel that assumption. Drinkers display rela- 
tively often the character traits of a spoiled genius, of a 
talented person gone to seed. On the whole, there are among 
them many talented and ambitious persons; of course, there 
are also many victims of psychopathic inferiority.5 
Preisig and K. Amadau (Sind die Trinker Degenerierte? 
Are Drinkers Degenerates? Internat. Monatschr. zur Er- 
forschung des Alkoholismus u. Bekampfung d. Trinksitten, 
H. 3 u. 4, 1918) investigating 100 cured drinkers (after 
five years of abstinence) arrive at the following conclusions: 
"1. It is not fair to apply to all cases the conclusions 
reached through the study of inebriates interned at the Asy- 
lums, because the respective observations pertain only to a 
particular category of drinkers. There are many alcoholics 
who cannot be looked upon as degenerates whether they be 
viewed physically, mentally, or from the standpoint of their 
social worth. 
"2. To assume that alcoholics are degenerates, as is done 
in order that the inferiority of the offspring of alcoholics may 
be explained on the theory of hereditary inferiority, is wholly 
erroneous. Reduced to the simplest terms we must assume 
that alcoholism is either a cause or a sign of degeneration. 
It cannot be assumed to be both at the same time, or either, 204 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
according to the necessity of a given case. Alcohol often 
awakens latent psychopathy. But that does not disprove that 
it may not be at the same time also a factor in degeneration. 
"3. Predisposition and inner causes are not sufficient in 
themselves to explain alcoholism. In the etiology of alcohol- 
ism other external factors (custom, suggestion, habit) un- 
deniably also play an important role. 
"4. The campaign against the abuse of alcohol has an im- 
portant place in the prophylaxis of mental disorders." 
These authors corroborate my findings. Degeneration is not 
the cause of the drink habit. 
We can always trace psychic roots. 
Wounded pride is one of the roots of the drink habit. The 
spree represents an escape from reality into the world of 
fantasy, which in the milder as well as in the more serious 
"borderland" mental states replaces the reality norm with the 
pleasure norm. Many of the drinkers are engrossed so deeply 
in their fantasies and dreams as to be no longer capable 
of rousing in themselves sufficient will power to settle down 
to work. They seek oblivion. They are prone to complain 
against the world at large, or against some clique, that does 
not allow them to come to the top; they ridicule their success- 
ful contemporaries, but never admit that genius without dili- 
gence and patience is useless. 
Upon investigating these fantasies, it is surprising to find 
how often sadistic, criminal impulses furnish the content of 
their day dreams.6 In advanced cases the subjects are un- 
aware of their day dreams and wishes, they have grown accus- 
tomed to indulge in their fantasies coconsciously. They 
possess the oft-mentioned peculiarity of double thinking. 
Therefore they are always distracted and unable to concen- 
trate on any task. 
It is the disillusioned and the discouraged in life's struggle 
who become drinkers. Analysis always reveals a gap between 
capacity and ambition, or an inner obstinacy traceable to an 
infantile sexual objective which conscience would not permit 
to appear on the surface, so that the parallel conflict between 
intelligence and instinct keeps on. 
Usually the drink impulse breaks out after a depression. NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
205 
The drinker is animated by the best of intentions, he resolves 
never to touch a drop, he gives solemn promises. Then he 
falls into a deep depression combined with a vague but strong 
inner unrest. It seems that within him there strives for 
expression a voice that he must silence at any cost. The 
hopelessness of existence drives him to a spree. He fears 
the light of knowledge, he runs away from the truth. He 
seeks and drinks Lethe,-oblivion.7 
One thing is certain: The cause of dipsomania is not the 
craving for alcohol, but a deep depression of the spirits, a 
dysphoric state. One victim of this state tries to evade it 
by running away (flight from self!), another seeks oblivion 
in alcohol, or some other narcotic. Well-known examples are 
de Quincey, the opiomaniac, whose dreams and opium visions 
I have analyzed in my Tr'dume der Dichtcr, Baudelaire, Ver- 
laine, Grabbe, Leuthold, Edgar Allan Poe and Fritz Reuter, to 
mention only a few names. 
Poe, as Karl Birnbaum points out in his well-documented 
and suggestive work, Psycho patholo gische Dokumente* was 
led to drink not by the aesthete's craving for novel experience, 
but by the pathologic compulsion of his morbid temperament 
which turned him into a victim of alcohol as well as of opium. 
He was a victim whose manner of death, closely associated 
as it was with his dipsomania, epitomized once more, a whole 
life course woven through with the tragedy of illness. Poe's 
animal visions are described by Birnbaum as very character- 
istic. Once he visioned a rat, another time a gigantic pig. 
Perhaps the most meaningful is his vision of the raven im- 
mortalized in one of the most touching poems in the world's 
literature. The raven represents the evil conscience. The 
narcotic relieves the depression and brings about a euphoric 
disposition. 
Poe himself describes this change in disposition in a letter 
to a friend. 
It is decidedly unfair to the dipsomaniacs for us to look 
upon the drink habit as the cause of their social demoraliza- 
tion. Birnbaum is altogether in the right when he contends 
that neither frivolity and weakness of character, nor intem- 
perance was the primary factor in the case of Fritz Reuter. 206 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
"For that," states Birnbaum, "we must look to the periodic 
illnesses, the recurrent morbid moods which affected him 
deeply." These moods eventually led Reuter to attempt an- 
other form of mental release-impulsive wandering. Very 
significant is what Reuter wrote his teacher while he was 
an agricultural student, in 1845, about his mental state at 
the time of his drinking bouts: 
"I know not whether you ever found yourself in a mood 
wherein one feels close to insanity-I hope not; but I know that 
an unkind fate has dragged me down to that terrible state. . . . 
Bodily unwell, mentally likewise ill, torn asunder by regrets, 
in the strivings to secure my future, jumping from one plan to 
another, only to reject each of them in the end as beyond me, 
what am I but a plaything abandoned to the most abject thoughts 
and fears. In a state of mind such as this, of what use can I 
be to you-my very presence must be intolerable . . . there re- 
mains, therefore, nothing for me to do but to run away from 
you; I must run away this very day; yesterday I did not come 
downstairs so as not to intrude upon the little ones, with my 
troubled mood, right in the midst of their entertainment. . . 
And to his father he wrote: 
"Days, weeks, and months pass in which the thought of drink- 
ing does not so much as cross my mind,-in which I do not 
feel the least craving for it; and then, all of a sudden, the 
worst happens. How it happened this time I cannot tell you, I 
do not myself know; I am too upset inwardly to be able to give 
an account of any particular occurrences. But you may be sure 
of that much, that I will shake off the drink habit in time; for 
I do not deliberately go out to get drunk,-it comes on me 
without my will or knowledge." 
The drinker's good nature, his partly humorous, partly 
tragic mood, is often a mask covering the deeper passions. 
We often find drinkers who are apparently resigned and who 
seem to manifest a sober calmness of spirits. I say "appar- 
ently," because suddenly the storm of the pent-up emotions 
breaks through transforming the good-natured drunkard into NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
207 
a raving wild man. The drinker is always on his guard. 
He fears depreciations and may even provoke them so as 
to raise himself above them. A splendid example is the old 
wit, Karamazoff, in Dostoievsky's The Brothers Karamazoff. 
I call attention also to the well-known drinker's jealousy, 
which may attain the morbid proportions of a jealousy para- 
noia. In certain cases this sentiment seems absent. I know 
drinkers who claim that it is a matter of indifference to them 
what their wife does; whether she deceives them, or finds 
consolation elsewhere. That is a pose. The drinker wants 
to be loved, he craves to be loved by the whole world, he 
has an insatiable longing for affection and during the spree 
this shows itself in the tendency to kiss and embrace every- 
body, or in the negativistic feeling-attitude of hatred and 
anger towards the whole world. 
Elsewhere I have pointed out the relations of jealousy to 
homosexuality and I have shown that homosexuality as well as 
the other repressed tendencies often overcome the inhibitions 
and break openly to surface during the drinking episodes. 
The morbid impulse transforms itself into the drink im- 
pulse. 
The inner conflict betrays itself in the ordinary spree as 
well as in delirium tremens,-the drinker's paralogic crisis; 
we may say: it shows itself in his "spells." The state of 
delirium tremens is brought about not only by the intoxi- 
cation. It involves an important psychic component, which 
all investigators have thus far overlooked. When the drinker 
is no longer able to intensify the spree to a degree sufficient 
to stifle the voice of his conscience and prevent consciousness 
from becoming aware of what is going on within, he takes 
refuge in a "spell." That attack may be epileptic (epileptoid) 
or a delirium. The psychic mechanism is the same, except 
that the epileptic spell discloses a deeper split. The frequency 
of epileptic attacks among drinkers varies between io and 
30 percent, according to the calculations of various authors. 
Readers unacquainted with my views on epilepsy I refer to 
the chapter on the psychic treatment of epilepsy in my work, 
The Anxiety States (Disorders of the Instincts and Emo- 
tions). 208 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
Already Magnan doubted whether these cases should be 
considered genuine epilepsy; and Wartmann 9 is of the same 
opinion. Often the delirium and the epileptic attacks are com- 
bined. Any one who is familiar with the language of sym- 
bolism knows that the small animals, seen by the drinker 
in his delirium, often appear in dreams where they stand for 
reproaches. Snakes, bed-bugs and wild beasts play a great 
role; but so do criminal thoughts also as well as a distinct 
feeling of guilt which cannot fail to impress any observer: 
the fear of police, court and officers. During the delirium 
many a drinker rehearses his arrest and trial; he is accused 
of gruesome crimes, castrated, the motives of jealousy and 
morbid excitations break to the surface; he is horribly pun- 
ished, tortured; he is torn asunder limb by limb; the dread 
held in check by drink breaks through all over, even while 
the victim of the delirium sometimes still tries to hold it 
back by a sort of "Galgenhumor." 
With regard to the other alcoholic paralogies (Kraepelin's 
hallucinatory insanity of drinkers and the alcoholic psychosis, 
or Korsakow's disease) my experience is not sufficiently ex- 
tensive. Probably they are also psychically determined. 
All narcotomaniacs, particularly the drinkers, admit that 
they indulge in order to overcome an inexplainable dread. It 
is the fear of a crime that thus manifests itself,-the fear of 
self. The fear renders the drinking victim uneasy, often im- 
pelling him to wander from place to place, or to commit 
various deeds. Ethical inhibitions change the impulse into a 
fear of the impulsive prompting. When that state of mind 
becomes unbearable, the victim flees into paralogy,-he be- 
comes delirious or has an epileptic attack, sometimes the two 
conditions alternating. Often he betrays the content of his 
dread, as when he hears voices accusing him that he is a 
child murderer, or that he has maltreated, or crippled chil- 
dren, or that he has committed wholesale murders, maltreated 
corpses, eaten them, etc. 
Kraepelin calls our attention to the fact that not all drinkers 
become delirious, even when they otherwise attain all the 
earmarks of chronic alcoholism. "It even happens that the 
disease clears up in a few days, while the alcohol is still NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
209 
being administered, or that the disease reappears after a 
lengthy period of abstinence. These considerations seem to 
me to indicate that in addition to the misuse of alcohol, some 
other, special determinant, which remains unknown, as yet, 
must be responsible for the development of the delirium." 
Kraepelin looks to organic changes and metabolic disorders, 
while I am of the opinion that this second factor, hitherto 
unknown-since the extent to which the intoxication plays 
its role is obvious-must be psychic. 
When the polar tension, the difference between the integrated 
personality and its antagonistic trends becomes unbearable, 
when the pressing impulse involves a criminal deed, an asocial 
action, repellent to the conscious self, the impulse is discharged 
either in an epileptic attack or in an attack of delirium. 
Of course, that does not prevent the impulse from break- 
ing through after all, so that the crime may be committed 
during the delirium. 
This is a problem that should be investigated and solved 
psychoanalytically in a clinic, or at an asylum for inebriates, 
where abundant data are available. Naturally I see but seldom 
the more serious cases of this type. On the other hand I come 
frequently in contact with persons who drink occasionally, 
or at definite intervals. The periodic drinkers, in fact, are 
cyclothemiacs with a tendency to depression alternating with 
euphoria. What I have written elsewhere on the relations 
of depression to homosexuality holds true of them. Usually 
pronounced bisexuality leads to drink during homosexual 
flare-up. I saw only once a homosexual who drowned in 
alcohol his heterosexual period,-every six or seven months. 
But to reduce all cases of periodic drinking to one particular 
mechanism would be hasty. Undoubtedly the causes are vari- 
ous. One thing is certain: the impulse repellent to the con- 
sciousness breaks out in drink. Hence the drinker's well- 
known fantasies, during which the unbidden acts are carried 
out vicariously in a dream state. The morning-after feeling, 
-the drinker's Katzenjammer,-is not wholly toxic. It in- 
cludes a psychic component: disgust at self (self-depreciation). 
In the drinker's spree we have a toxically generated hypnotic PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
210 
state, wherein the fantasies, otherwise strongly suppressed 
by the consciousness, are lived through. 
The implied depreciation of self often leads the drinker 
to deeds of revenge. For that reason arson is a common 
offence committed by drinkers. The aboriginal man-of-in- 
stinct (primal reactions) triumphs over the man of culture. 
Man's most primitive impulse is revenge. Many a victim 
of the habit has taken to drink in order to revenge himself 
against his parents. An excellent illustration of the wander- 
ing impulse is the case of Master Leukhardt,10 who lived in 
the 18th Century. Master Leukhardt got into debt and his 
father refused to pay up the obligations. A serious illness 
weakened his resistance. In order to avenge himself and 
worry his father he joined the army. This impulsive deed is 
very excellently described: 
"The fever soon left me, but my health was broken and my 
spirits were low. I kept up my hopes to the last mail day before 
the festival; but, on receiving no word, I did not know, after 
that, what to do. The mail delivery I was waiting for came 
around, but, unfortunately, no letter for me. Put yourself in my 
place and measure, if you can, the storm and stress of my emo- 
tions. In the evening I ran through the streets, entirely beside 
myself,-it was the holy Christmas Eve. Koester met me and 
asked me how I was getting on. I shoved him back without 
answering and kept going. Koester followed me, though I tried 
to shake him off. At last I entered a place where I had never 
been before. That joint, for me and for my mental make-up so 
significant, was a brandy shop at the so-called Beckershoff zn 
Halle am Markt. Soldiers and civilians were sitting around in 
groups. The folks were hilarious, jubilant; they danced, hopped, 
played, had fun among themselves, and disclosed not the least 
trace of care or discouragement. Oh! how I envied these fellows 
and these soldiers. Soldiers, yet happy 1 And you, Master, and 
so unhappy! Soldiers ! That thought gripped my whole soul, it 
struck me, again and again, sinking more deeply each time. 
Koester asked for brandy, sat down, and began talking to me in 
Latin, pressing me persistently to get at the reason for my dis- 
traught state. But I was dumb; I had vague intimations of what 
I should do. We left that hilarious hole. Again I ran through 
the streets, joining a drinking party, and around n o'clock I NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
211 
reached home,-sober. Full of sorrow I threw my bedding on 
the floor and lay on it. But I was too restless, I could not stay 
in one place, I did not know where I was or what I was doing. 
It was a horrible state 1 Early in the morning I was dressed. 
I went to the barber's, and then I ran swiftly to the Christmas 
matins at six o'clock. From the service I rushed out of the 
gate, before I knew it, and to the innkeeper's at the "Pulver- 
weiden." There I ordered Breuhahn, and the good folks won- 
dered that I should want to drink Brezihahn so early in the day. 
I sat there for nearly three hours, before I came to myself, all 
the time analyzing my feelings. Yesterday's care-free soldiers 
first came to my mind again; and in the midst of my inchoate 
feelings the thought: it would be great for you to be a soldier! 
At first, this thought, naturally, shook me up a great deal, but 
my mind reverted to it again and again until, at last, I became 
more friendly to the idea. It was only an idea but now I began 
to reflect seriously upon it. If you become a soldier, I reflected, 
you are rid once for all of the Halle Manicceans, and at the same 
time you are also avenged on your brother and father. On your 
father? Your dear old father? Oh! forgive this insane thought, 
-and consider the situation in which I was. And, lastly, this 
provides one with the ways and means for settling down to an 
unruffled existence. Peace, of some kind, at any cost whatso- 
ever ! In the midst of my tremendous restlessness, peace seemed 
to me the highest good on earth at the time. 
"But where should I join the army? That question soon solved 
itself. At Halle, and at no other place. It was at Halle that 
I had suffered, there is where I should find my vengeance. So 
childishly revengeful did I, in my predicament, feel at the time. 
Absorbed in these reflections I sat until around 3 o'clock in the 
afternoon at my philosopher's-that was what we then called the 
innkeeper at the "Pulverweiden." He tried all along to engage 
me in conversation, but he could not get many words out of me; 
my mind was far away, being entirely absorbed with the idea 
of joining the army. Towards evening I returned to the City 
and went to the "Knochenkammer." On the way I dropped in 
also at the Rathskeller. 
"From the Rathskeller I went straight to the house where 
Hanauer Puff, my brother, had lived once. Cheminon lived 
there now with her husband, a soldier in Captain v. Muffling's 
Company. I knew that man, Cheminon, and decided to acquaint 
him with my resolution. After imbibing several glasses of 212 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
whiskey-in my intense desire to forget everything-I took him 
aside and begged him to give me a chance to meet any one of 
the officers. Naturally, he praised his own Captain to me, v. 
Muffling, and promised to take me to him the very next morning. 
Therefore I stayed that night in Cheminon's house and drank 
myself full of the plain bad liquor which is what Madame 
Cheminon was then dispensing as drink. That is how I joined 
the army." 
It is characteristic of these persons of impulsive tempera- 
ment that the impulses of which they are the victims are 
never single. In connection with our discussion of Janet's 
case of Dromomania (Case 2) and my own (Case 16), I have 
pointed out that various impulses combine. The drinker 
often shows a morbid wandering impulse, so that at times 
he turns into a tramp; or he becomes a cleptomaniac, or a 
pyromaniac, and lands in jail. Other impulses may assert 
themselves : the spending and the gambling mania. Very often 
the gambler is also a drinker, and reversely. His attitude 
towards money is a morbid one. He is a spendthrift if 
wealthy, but likewise unable to hold on to his money when 
poor. (The well-known type of the worker who goes on 
a spree with his Saturday night money and lets his family 
starve!) Sometimes the spree is but a means for throwing 
away the money. The drinker orders the costliest wines; 
he invites strangers to his table and stages a big carousal. 
The spendthrift-I know well the type through numerous 
analyses-often manifests an affectative attitude towards par- 
ents, grandparents or uncle. The "strange" money he throws 
out of the window. It is of no value to him. We find always 
that he feels he is not sufficiently loved and that to him money 
means love. ("Auf dicse Liebe pfeife ich!"-colloquialism 
for: "I don't care for this kind of love!") The drinking 
bouts serve as a means for throwing away the money and 
at the same time help him stifle the revenge impulse. Often 
we note that the drink habit as well as the spendthriftiness 
are given up after the "tyrant's" death. Illustrative cases 
will be found in abundance in my other volumes of the 
present Series. NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
213 
A number of authors, including Juliusburger,11 and 
Ferenczi,12 the analysts, have already drawn our attention 
to the relations between sexuality and alcoholism. Ferenczi 
points out the intolerance to alcohol of certain neurotics, their 
"Rauschdisposition," as I may call this peculiarity. Birstein 13 
also recognizes this susceptibility to drink. That explains the 
remarkable peculiarity that the morning-after feeling (Katzen- 
jammer} often bears no direct relationship to the amount of 
alcohol imbibed. Ferenczi saw a patient for whom the sight 
of a filled glass was exciting enough to precipitate the conduct 
of inebriety. Another patient presented a typical picture of 
intoxication after partaking only a few sips. "In both in- 
stances," states Ferenczi, "the symptoms of intoxication be- 
trayed themselves in the fact that the subjects became aware 
of their fantasies, talked aggressively, or scornfully, and lent 
themselves to deeds which they would repress altogether in 
their sober state; along with this expression of the complexes 
there was noticeable an improvement in their customary 
psychoneurotic condition. These alcohol-less sprees were fol- 
lowed by a morning-after Katzenjammer similar to that which 
follows actual over-indulgence in alcohol." This observation, 
undoubtedly, is as correct as it is significant. I know a woman 
who after a few sips of an almost alcohol-free beer imagined 
she was becoming intoxicated and acted accordingly. 
The significance of the alcohol problem for differential 
psychology (Individualpsychologie) has been pointed out also 
by Eppelbaum and Strasser.14 
These authors quote an observation by Strasser, which 
brings to the foreground the significance of the feeling of 
inferiority. 
Case 26. This slender, tall patient suffered a great deal as 
a child from an inferiority complex involving the gastro-intestinal 
tract. In spite of his extraordinary stature he has, since his 
earliest childhood, felt himself a coward,-"unmanly," as he 
himself expresses it,-and, according to his earliest reminiscences 
bearing on his drink habit, he endeavors to cover up that feeling 
of unmanliness by imitating the free habits of drinkers. He 
himself relates that he drank the first glass for the same reason  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
214 
for which he smoked the first cigarette, he did it to assure him- 
self that he is, at last, a grown-up man. As a consequence he 
prefers the company of students; and he goes out drinking with 
them, especially when he is touched on some sensitive spot per- 
taining to his manliness, as for instance, a reflection on his call- 
ing-he was originally a merchant-or on the showing he made 
at examinations-later he studied chemistry. During his school 
period he defended the honor code of the student corps (in 
order to prove to himself his manliness), and while deeply 
intoxicated challenged, over a trifle, a harmless stranger sitting 
across from him. The following morning confronted, in his sober 
state, by the very serious duty of duelling with pistols, he weak- 
ened and tried to back out. . . . From then on that episode 
comes to the subject's mind whenever he becomes aware of the 
old conflict within him. The contrast between his physically 
strong, manly appearance and his inner weakness and lack of 
resoluteness exasperates him and he cannot bear it; he turns to 
alcohol in order to drown in the drink narcosis his inner misery; 
the following morning the double downfall, his new plight, looms 
up before his partly sobered eyes, gnawing him inwardly, so 
that he finds new reason to drink himself into forgetfulness. 
"It is characteristic that what led him subsequently to 
consult a physician was not his alcoholism, but the accom- 
panying serious neurotic symptoms, his compulsive self-de- 
preciation and suicidal thoughts. But these fulfilled the same 
purpose as his alcoholism, that is, they stifled the feeling of 
inferiority; while, on the other hand, that very feeling gave 
him renewed impetus to strive on; they buoyed his sense of 
personality by shifting the responsibility for his lack of suc- 
cess to the morbid and compulsive character of his behaviour. 
Blaming his compulsions for his failure served the same pur- 
pose as inducing narcosis through alcohol. By way of a 
summary we may state: the subject's large stature was an 
embodiment of the great man, of his great personality, the 
hero part of him; at the same time his psychically perceived 
weakness impelled him to test his manliness by newer and 
stronger means. It led him to formulate for himself a lofty 
personality ideal, and brought on the various conflicts which 
he tried to circumvent by his alcoholic intoxication and with 
his compulsion neurosis, instead of solving them manfully NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
215 
with strength and determination and without recourse to 
roundabout subterfuges." 
We now turn to some personal observations. The case 
histories at my disposal I am preserving for another work, 
but I quote briefly a few cases to serve as proof material for 
the analysis of this disorder. 
Case 27. Mr. Arthur Z., an attorney, 37 years of age, suffers 
from light depressions and turns to drink two or three times a 
week. He drinks without enjoying the indulgence; every two or 
three weeks he drinks to intoxication; but usually he is satisfied 
with a lighter effect. After his more serious sprees his brother 
sometimes has to take him home; next morning he wakes up 
with a heavy head and a terrible Katsenjammer which he himself 
perceives as psychic. He feels ashamed of his new "defeat" and 
resolves never to drink again. He plunges into work, hoping to 
forget. Being a very shrewd man he is very successful in his 
profession. He is very lucky in his legal affairs and enjoys a 
large income. Nevertheless he has saved up no money. He lives 
with his parents, uses their home, eats at their table, conse- 
quently his living expenses are small. Except for a small sum 
which he gives his mother, all his income he spends on his own 
needs: smokes, clothes, women and-drink. He is a familiar 
figure in dramshops and "cabarets" and very much in favor 
on account of his liberality. He is extremely liberal with his 
tips; he always throws money offerings to the musicians and 
performers. He passes for the best fellow in the world; has 
numerous friends who regard him as a successful, clever man. 
During his sprees he avoids his intellectual friends, prefering 
the company of drinkers and rounders and carouses with them 
through the nights. 
Physically he is in good health and comes from a healthy 
family. His father is a physician, and quite a Don Juan, in 
spite of his advanced age. His mother is a simple, rather quiet, 
woman who therefore quarrels with the father and pursues him 
with her (wholly justified) jealousy. His brother, two years 
younger and unmarried, has achieved a leading position in his 
calling. This brother often participates in his drinking sprees 
but drinks much more moderately and is also more careful with 
his money. Arthur is strongly potent, he always has on hand 
a number of affairs with girls and frivolous women. A certain 
divorced woman who lives in the Country comes every Saturday 216 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
into town expressly to have sexual intercourse with him. This 
woman is an exception. He has never paid her any money. 
That is a point of pride with him. He thinks a great deal of his 
Saturday affair; but he shows no particular love attraction for 
the woman who physically satisfies him well enough. 
Spiritually he is now in love with a girl belonging to a prom- 
inent family. He must always have an ideal love affair on 
hand. When he has none his drinking sprees become much 
worse. Sometimes he has abstained from drink for weeks at a 
time for the sake of his ideal love. But all his love affairs have 
an unhappy ending. While the love affair lasts he is a very 
happy man, and feels the buoyancy of intoxication without re- 
course to alcohol (Affektrausch, emotional spree). He then 
feels himself a purer and nobler man, avoids the cabaret girls 
and frivolous women, begins to take a greater interest in art 
and turns his attention again to writing poetry. 
He shows considerable talent and he might have become quite 
a poet had he cultivated his natural gifts. Now he writes poetry 
only for his ideal love, on whom he showers these poetic proofs 
of his passion. He thinks only of "her" and of his poems, and 
dreams of a rosy future in which he sees himself a successful 
poet and loving husband. He has never touched his ideal women ; 
his feelings for them he always keeps on a platonic level. He 
has gone so far as to devote one of his precious Saturdays to 
his ideal. But at the last moment he always holds himself in 
check. He cannot conceive possessing physically a girl for whom 
he entertains an ideal love. But the ideal love doesn't last very 
long. In a few months, or weeks, he begins to belittle his ideal. 
She is too superficial; or else he discovers some sensual traits 
that are repellent to him; her feet are unshapely; or perhaps the 
fault he finds is that there is an unpleasant odor about her,- 
and thus that love episode is at an end. 
He comes to me for treatment while he is in the midst of 
such a love affair. This time the love that animates him 
is the genuine, great, and true love; he must get well at any 
cost so as to marry this ideal. If I should only cure him 
of his depressions and compulsive drinking he would be the 
happiest man in the world! 
Analysis discloses some very remarkable facts. In the first NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
217 
place the new "ideal" is a sister of one of his brother's friends, 
with whom he has also become acquainted only of late. That 
friend and the two brothers now make up a spree trio. 
They are familiar with every place where one may get 
"soused" in the midst of music and dancing. The future 
brother-in-law is the most dissolute of the three. That man's 
and the brother's attitude towards women is the same as 
Arthur's. They run only after frivolous, care-free women. 
Ofttimes they exchange these women among themselves. 
Arthur is homosexually in love with that friend and trans- 
fers that affection to the friend's sister. In the second place 
it turns out that he starts on one of his drinking sprees 
whenever his brother starts a new love affair and on each 
occasion he is afraid that this time his brother may "get 
stuck." Then it sometimes happens that he finds himself 
alone, or with another friend. On such occasions he drinks 
a great deal more. His depressions come on whenever his 
brother goes out with a frivolous woman, leaving him behind. 
He is in love with his brother and insanely jealous of him. 
But he is aware neither of this love nor of his homosexual 
feeling-attitude. He denies the least homosexual inclination. 
Furthermore, the analysis discloses a similar feeling-attitude 
towards the father and a dependence-relationship to the 
mother which makes him, emotionally, a family slave. His 
mother knows his needs down to the least particulars. She 
takes care of everything; she supplies him with whatever he 
wants. No other woman could do all that. At home he is 
treated like a child and he enjoys that infantile role in spite 
of his 37 years. Therefore, the thought of becoming inde- 
pendent, or of leaving the parental home, is remote from his 
mind. He trembles at the suggestion. Whatever of spiritual 
love he possesses is devoted to his mother and to the rest of 
his family. 
After two weeks of analysis he confesses to me a sin which 
he had theretofore deliberately kept from me. After the 
drinking spree, even when not completely intoxicated, he 
masturbates at home. Often he masturbates mornings when 
he awakens half-drunk. He cannot recall at all his fantasies 218 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
accompanying this masturbation act. But he knows that while 
masturbating he assumes a peculiar posture. He sits up in 
bed and bends over as if he were leaning over some one. 
Later in the course of the analysis it appears that he thus 
imitates a fellatio which he had once carried out on his 
brother. 
We thus discover that he strives to repeat that act. Now 
we know the impulse which drives him to drink. It is the 
craving for a repetition of the act. His drinking fulfills a 
double function. He thereby cancels his craving as well as 
the unattainable character of his wish which brings on the 
depression. On the other hand, the narcotization of his in- 
hibitions makes it possible for his fantasy to reenact the 
deed as masturbation. 
The analysis led to complete recovery. He parted from 
his family and married his ideal. At any rate, we note that 
the healing tendency was already present, inasmuch as he 
went to the consultant precisely because he wanted to get 
well. And the will to get well is an integral part of success. 
This case shows the relationship between masturbation and 
alcoholism. We are surprised when we first come across this 
relationship. It is seldom absent. Now we understand the 
apparently diminished sexual activity of the alcoholics. They 
have a secret sexual objective and gratify their cravings mostly 
through masturbation. When they abandon the masturbation 
habit, for hygienic reasons, they become depressed. Depres- 
sions are frequently observed as a consequence of masturba- 
tion abstinence. 
Other narcotomaniacs suffer from pollutions and awaken 
from their narcosis without even knowing that they have had 
a pollution, much less that they have indulged in dream fancies. 
They only find on their underwear the marks of the pollu- 
tion. My view is well known: pollutions and onanistic acts 
with suspension of consciousness occur on the pleasure-with- 
out-guilt principle. 
Occasionally the tendency to masturbation is wholly con- 
scious and the subject faces the choice either of masturbating 
or of drinking. He drinks, then goes to a prostitute, but 
instead of carrying out sexual intercourse with her, is satisfied NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
219 
with hand manipulations. Often such acts are but a repetition 
of some definite infantile episode. 
Case 28. Mr. Robert G., 36 years of age, in spite of his 
talents, has achieved nothing. He is unable to stay at one place 
any length of time, and shows a morbid inclination to wander 
and change places. He has no stability. Particularly around 
the month of April he grows restless. Either he takes a vacation, 
going on long journeys and wandering around, or he starts drink- 
ing. The feeling is that of having to get over something. The 
most important root of his trouble disclosed in the course of the 
analysis is that his sister married in the month of April. I 
chanced to come upon this fact while analyzing his compulsive 
playing with numbers (arithmomania). He has the mannerism 
of clinging to a figure, and he is constantly dwelling on certain 
numbers. (It would lead us too far afield to record here the 
whole analysis. I give here only the record of a single sitting.) 
The patient had a dream in which the figure 124 occurred. The 
dream was as follows: 
I am in a primeval forest, unable to find my way out. I know 
I must be back home by eight o'clock. It is already ten o'clock. 
Then I see a placard and I say to myself: Aha, here is the 
announcement of a tourists' club. I turn on the light of my 
pocket electric flashlight and see nothing but the figure 124 and 
it makes a tremendous impression on me. I have the feeling 
that some spirit is decreeing that I must keep on wandering 
around for the next 124 hours before getting back home. Then 
I hear a lion roaring and I decide to hide. The lion must not 
find me. I want to climb a tree but my limbs feel paralyzed. 
"Shall I thus perish miserably?" I reflect with bitterness. Then 
a little boy approaches and taking me by the hand leads me to a 
clearing from which I can see the first houses of the town. I 
hear the church tower clock striking ten. It seems to me it is 
going to strike eighteen. I wake up with palpitation. 
I knew that the patient was emotionally fixed on his sister. 
I asked him to give me any number that may come to his mind. 
I had first requested him to give me his associations to 124, 8 
and 10. But nothing had come to his mind. 
"Give me any figure that happens to come to you." 
"34." 220 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
"Who is 34 years of age ?" 
"My sister." 
Then it occurred to me that April, the fourth month, was his 
critical month. I thought that the 4 may refer to April and 
asked him: 
"Does the date 12.IV mean anything in your life?" 
"Of course. It is the date of my sister's wedding." 
And now the meaning of the other figures cleared up. The 
numbers 8 and 10 were determined by the fact that at the age 
of 10 he had made his first coitus attempts while playing with 
his sister, who was two years younger than himself. Then there 
followed a period of latency. At 18 years of age he again 
crawled into his sister's bed and carried out sexual intercourse 
with her. That happened repeatedly during the two vacation 
months. He was not at home the rest of the time. 
Brother and sister never spoke of their intimacy. But he 
hoped that the sister would never marry but share his life. He 
was very much surprised when she told him that she was engaged 
and when she spoke, as she did repeatedly, of her good fortune, 
he was tremendously jealous and thought of revenge, of killing 
the brother-in-law, etc. 
He came home no longer so as not to suffer. He wanted to 
tell the future brother-in-law of his intimacy with the sister, but 
was provident enough not to do so. Then he fell in love with 
a girl, became engaged to her (transference), and induced her 
to indulge in sexual relations before marriage. He forgot his 
jealousy and was now able to attend his sister's marriage cere- 
mony. He took along his bride and was strikingly happy on 
the eve of the ceremony. But he drank himself senseless. On 
the following day he heard his sister was off on her bridal jour- 
ney, and he thought to himself: "It is better so!" Then the 
whole episode slipped out of his mind. At that critical time 
he had again tried sexual intercourse with his bride but, much 
to his consternation, proved impotent. (Thoughts about the 
sister!) The impotence was followed by depression. In order 
to find out whether he was really impotent he tried masturbation 
and his erections proved so strong that it astonished him. (Obvi- 
ous fantasies about his sister!) The depression, naturally, was 
not due to impotence but was due to his moping over the loss 
of his sister. 
After two months he was again able to have intercourse with 
his bride, but either his ejaculation failed him or he experienced NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
221 
very mild orgasm. At that time there set in the various para- 
pathic disorders, his spells of anxiety, the compulsive numbers, 
his morbid doubt. But he had nearly forgotten his sister. 
He visited his sister and found himself indifferent towards 
her. His relations with the brother-in-law were excellent. The 
brother-in-law had been one of his best friends in the first place, 
a fact which made it possible for his sister to transfer her affec- 
tions to her lover. The friendship was apparently not disturbed. 
The analysis disclosed that the depression, the wanderlust, 
and the drink impulsion developed early in April after the 
marriage. This time relationship became stronger every suc- 
ceeding year and did not abate two years later when he married 
his sweetheart. 
It turned out that in April he always celebrated the marriage 
anniversary by getting drunk, and that the whole month of 
April was dedicated, so to speak, to the memory of his old 
relationships. Then he recovered and was fairly free of his 
parapathic disorders except for his arithmomania (compulsive 
numbers). But the numbers always referred to his relations 
with the sister. 
The analysis was followed by complete disappearance of 
the compulsive drinking and of the April depressions. 
In all cases of inexplainable depressions with compulsive 
drinking mania which set in at definite periods we must try 
to ferret out the subject's "secret calendar." There is a 
cryptomnesia covering the various dates in life and it is always 
surprising to find how rich the parapathiacs' secret calendar 
turns out to be. They not only note birthdays and death 
anniversaries; their discouragements, their defeats, as well 
as their little victories, are also accurately registered. It is 
often possible to discover the cause of apparently inexplain- 
able depression when the trouble is related to definite dates. 
Among the narcotomaniacs we meet very frequently sub- 
jects who endeavor to sleep through certain dates. The fol- 
lowing is a most interesting case: 
Case 29. S. B., Bulgarian physician, comes to beg me for 
help to sleep through a certain four days in March. He is a PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
222 
normal being until the 12th of March comes around. Then he 
is seized with a vague unrest and terrible anxiety. He leaves 
his home and wanders forth or runs away. The days from the 
12th to the 16th of March are a period of torture for him. A 
course of treatment by Isserlin and by Lowenfeld brought no 
relief. Lowenfeld advised him to sleep through these four days. 
He wants me to place him in a sanitarium and keep him under 
narcosis through the four days. After the critical four days he 
will take up analysis. I advise him to go through the four days 
with my help. He falls at my feet, wails and begs me not to 
leave him in the lurch; he will positively take up the treatment 
afterwards. He is afraid he will do some mischief, perhaps com- 
mit suicide. He is a normal person, very efficient in his calling, 
and enjoys a good standing. All he wants is to be helped over 
these four days. 
I helped him according to his desire. He was fed on 
morphin and adalin until he was drowsy. 
On the 16th he was without any narcotics but still somewhat 
drowsy. Then he told me his remarkable story. When he was 
10 years of age, there returned to school a pupil who had been 
absent four days. The boy wore mourning and told that his 
mother had died. The insane notion struck him that his mother 
or his father will surely die also if he should resemble that pupil. 
He began to be studiously different from that boy in every pos- 
sible respect. If the boy wore his hair straight down, he combed 
his hair straight. If the boy wore a light suit, next day he 
appeared at school in a dark suit. If that pupil did well in the 
school, he tried not to do likewise. His antagonist spoke in a 
high-pitched voice, therefore he tried to give his own voice a 
lower pitch. Years later, after he left the school, it occurred to 
him that the date of that death must have been between the 13th 
and the 15th of March. These days consequently became for 
him days of expiation and a period of extreme restlessness. 
The older he grew, the easier he found it to overcome his com- 
pulsion neurosis. But the four days in March persisted as days 
of extreme torture, unrest, and agitation which he could hardly 
understand. 
I pointed out to him that he was commemorating the his- 
toric Ides of March (March 13 or 15th) when Caesar was NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
223 
slain. He admitted that his attitude towards his father was 
antagonistic, but on the other hand he was very affectionately 
attached to his mother. 
He was to begin the analysis on the 17th. But he pleaded 
important business engagements and ran off. For four years 
he came again at the same period. Each time he promised to 
undertake to rid himself of his trouble, once for all, through 
analysis. The fifth year he told me that he had married and 
that he was very happy in his married life. He could not com- 
plain of a thing. Only that period of four days continually 
looms before his mind like a horrible nightmare. But he neither 
had the courage to go through the ominous four days alone, 
nor did he find himself able to accept my suggestion of going 
through them without narcosis under my supervision. The sixth 
year he came back in a terrible state and confessed having suf- 
fered very much also in the interval. He had intended this time 
to go through the four days by himself. But he suddenly left 
the house, on a moment's impulse, without telling his wife any- 
thing about the reason for his leaving. (She had no inkling 
of his trouble.) He went again to the usual Sanitarium. This 
time I refused to prescribe the medicinal palliative and insisted 
that the trouble should be cleared once for all through analysis. 
Two days later his wife came to Vienna. She had learned 
something accidentally and figured out that he had come to me. 
(A telegram which he had forwarded to me and of which a 
copy was lying on his desk!) I referred her to the Sanitarium. 
There she found him narcotized and when he woke up she heard 
for the first time his remarkable story. She agreed that he ought 
to take up psychoanalytic treatment. He promised both of us 
with great earnestness that he would positively take up the treat- 
ment within the next few months. That was the last I heard 
from him. 
Other parapathiacs narcotize themselves so as to forget a 
painful memory or to overcome a criminal impulse, usually 
having its roots in jealousy. I see year by year many subjects 
who have thus accustomed themselves to Adalin, Veronal, 
Bromural, Somacetin and other narcotics. In all such cases 
the drug is taken for sleeplessness. The insomnia is a result 
of the heightened activity. In many subjects a morbid im- 
pulse arises that prevents sleep, lest a crime be committed 224 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
during sleep. This type of insomnia is very interesting. The 
victims fall asleep easily, but within a few minutes, or even 
seconds, they wake up with a start and with a feeling of dread. 
Often they have the sensation of falling into an abyss. 
The morphin users are also parapathiacs. I have noted 
long ago that, as mentioned in my Anxiety States, persons 
who use morphin merely to allay their physical pain, wean 
themselves, or may be weaned easily, whereas parapathiacs 
transpose their morbid impulses into the morphin impulse, 
becoming morphinomaniacs. They seek to get away from the 
world. It is interesting to note that as morphinists they fall 
a prey to their criminal impulses in the end. They pose, they 
lie, they steal. I know a physician who broke into a drug 
store to get hold of morphin. 
Many of these disorders break out periodically, as, for 
example, in periodic drinking. The latter propensity is not a 
clear-cut clinical entity. It is interwoven with all the im- 
pulsive disorders of a parapathic nature. The periodically 
threatening impulse is silenced through intoxication, the brain 
is lulled to sleep. Dipsomaniacs may drown in alcohol the 
most varied array of impulses. Not the thirst for alcohol is 
periodic, but the morbid impulse which is being stifled by the 
alcohol. The various drug addicts (toximaniacs) are led by 
the same motive, though it is very difficult for them to limit 
themselves to the periodic character of their drug habit. 
These victims become so accustomed to the drug poison as 
to crave it even during their impulse-free intervals. Finally 
their morbid impulse shifts entirely to the drug itself. They 
turn into liars, thieves, and even become murderers in order 
to procure for themselves the keenly craved drug.15 
All the patients of the type described in this book show a 
strong predisposition in favor of narcotic drugs. Any of 
them may come under the influence of morphin. It is there- 
fore ridiculous to go through any of the various "habit cures," 
so-called, without psychonanalysis. The habit cure must go 
hand in hand with the analysis. How difficult this task is will 
be shown in connection with the psychoanalysis of an opio- 
maniac in Vol. VIII of the Series. Most of these cases 
belong to the category of Sadism. NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
225 
Here I record an interesting case by Max Kirschbaum18 
which furnishes an excellent illustration: 
Case 30. Dr. A., aet. 30, of good heredity, takes up the habit 
cure. He states that he has never had normal sexual inter- 
course, never masturbated and never indulged in any homo- 
sexual acts. He puts on women's clothes and in that manner 
brings on erections and ejaculations. He considers himself a 
degenere; states that he is very irritable, very sensitive and 
moody. Physical examination reveals nothing noteworthy. 
After a protracted cure he is released. 
Patient's own statement: 
"Concerning (my) transvestitism, combined with masochism: 
First sexual manifestations date back to my fifth or sixth year. 
I remember that one evening my nightgown could not be found. 
Thereupon mother had me put on sister's nightgown, fringed 
with handwork. To this day I recall the pleasurable feelings 
which the wearing of that gown evoked in me at the time. There 
follows a long hiatus in my memory. Around my 14th or 15th 
year began my true sexual life, although I was unaware of the 
fact, for being Catholics we were brought up very strictly. 
At about that time we children went often to father's factory on 
Sundays because it was very convenient to play in that roomy 
place. Our games were always of the kind involving a certain 
amount of roughness. I was always a captured woman and this 
role was made more realistic by the use of an apron, or of some 
other article of feminine attire which we took from our servant 
girls. These games brought on strong erections but I had no 
ejaculations. In my fantasy I conceived all sorts of games, 
always around the motive mentioned above. The first ejacula- 
tion I experienced was a pollution in connection with a dream of 
the above character. That experience excited me to such an 
extent that I had the feeling of being unclean. I have never 
masturbated. But afterwards, when we moved to another city 
and I was facing the final examinations, I experienced often 
nightly pollutions while wearing my landlady's daughter's night- 
gown which I found hanging in a closet in my room. Later on 
I went to Berlin as a student. There I had a large circle of 
friends who indulged in relations with women. After a night 
of drinking I, too, made one attempt at sexual intercourse, but 226 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
found myself unable to accomplish anything. It was then that 
I purchased, for the first time, feminine articles of wear, at first 
only a few pieces at a time and afterwards larger quantities. I 
wore these articles in the privacy of my own room and it made 
me feel very happy. Of course, I was extremely careful that 
neither my landlady nor my friends should know anything about 
it. While wearing those clothes I had occasional erections, but 
no ejaculations, for I avoided handling my parts. Later on I 
fell into the habit of tying myself up in these clothes and of 
assuming postures which roused strong erections and often I kept 
myself tied in such postures for hours at a time. This I did 
usually in front of the looking glass. Sometimes this brought 
on spontaneous ejaculations. After such an occurrence I tore 
the clothes off my body in disgust and for hours afterwards I 
felt disgusted with myself. After a couple of days the storm 
blew over. Then I again repeated the game of tying myself up 
in the clothes. I kept this up for 3-4 years. Later on the 
impulse to tie myself up in the clothes subsided and in its stead 
there arose the inclination to put on servant girls' clothes. 
Doing this and looking on in the mirror brought on erections. 
On the whole, I may say that the masochistic cravings have 
subsided, though not completely. Until I went to the war, I 
always carried with me a trunkful of feminine wearing apparel; 
later on, when I was drafted into the army, I burned it up. In 
1918, around November, I took up the morphin habit, whereupon 
my libido subsided altogether." 
This case is in many respects very instructive. In the first 
place it shows that the use of morphin serves an antisexual 
tendency. The subject's libido disappears after addiction to 
morphin. During the morphin intoxication and sleeplike state 
he lives over again the specific events of his life. That illus- 
trates the power of first impressions. Our colleague traces 
his trouble back to an impression in his 6th or 7th year, when 
he put on his sister's nightgown. Interesting also is the 
masochistic act of strapping and lacing oneself up, a peculiar 
conduct which we frequently encounter and will be dealt with 
at greater length later on. Lastly, I want to point out also 
the subject's masturbation and his inability to carry on sexual 
intercourse with women. 
Such cases naturally invite analysis. Significant is the NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
227 
memory lapse from the 6th to the 14th year. It is the task 
of analysis to clear up such amnesias and bring to light the 
developmental course of the trouble by tracing the subject's 
morbid emotional fixations. Kirschbaum calls this a case of 
transvestitism, following the suggestion of Magnus Hirschfeld, 
who considers the tendency to wear the clothes of the opposite 
sex something innate, a disease sui generis. But transves- 
titism, as I have shown elsewhere, has various determinants. 
This case shows identification with the sister and, later on, 
with a servant girl. Transvestitism is but a form of erotic 
symbolism, it is a shifting from the objective to the clothing 
which renders possible identification with the (true) objec- 
tive. (Masturbating in front of the mirror!) We shall 
discuss similar cases in the next volume. 
I am about to bring my remarks to a close. The only 
rational method for the treatment of dipsomania and narcoto- 
mania is psychoanalysis, which must be at the same time 
educational. The anagogic tendency of the analysis works 
wonders in such cases. The hidden interplay of the psychic 
forces must be brought to light. The subject must acquire 
an insight into his conflicts so as to openly overcome his 
impulses. 
Readers familiar with my other volumes in this Series 
will recall a series of cases in which the causes of narcotomania 
were traced through analysis. But these very cases are among 
the most difficult to analyze. The subject dreads giving up 
the drug-induced narcosis, he trembles with fear lest his 
secret thoughts break through, he is ready to lie to his analyst, 
even to claim that he is through with the drug when he is 
not. I recall a certain physician's wife who, after going 
through a successful habit cure, submitted to psychoanalytic 
treatment. For a time the analysis proceeded smoothly. It 
disclosed that she had taken to morphin on account of an 
unhappy marriage and because of a cleverly hidden para- 
philia (homosexuality). Even long before that she required 
the strongest narcotics to induce sleep because she suffered 
from a stubborn insomnia. Suddenly there was a halt. I 
claimed that she had gone back to morphin. She denied it 228 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
and was very much peeved, even angry, and gave me her 
word of honor: she would be the first to confess to me. 
Every physician is acquainted with the utter unreliability 
of these patients. After a while the woman's daughter came 
to me in despair. She had taken the morphin away from 
her mother and locked it up. Now the mother broke open 
that box.17 I gave up the treatment. After a couple of 
weeks the unfortunate woman appeared again and told me 
that there was something which she had kept from me all 
along. She had a weakness for little children and has assaulted 
a number of children, including her own daughter. There 
was but one way out for her-death. She could not be pre- 
vailed upon to continue the analysis because she was certain 
that her condition was inborn. Shortly thereafter she com- 
mitted suicide. 
Narcotomaniacs, not only drinkers, but all who are addicted 
to the use of drugs for whatever reason, are trying to run 
away from some truth. One drug addict had done something 
he tries to forget, another wants to carry out some deed which 
is not socially permissible and which means civic ostracism. 
The true motive cannot be traced even through analysis if 
the subjects are allowed free reins and the secret is not ferreted 
out of them. A woman, under medical care for three years, 
became an inveterate narcotomaniac, so that she kept herself 
under the influence of the narcotic day and night, yet during 
all that time she did not reveal ..the asocial deed she committed. 
The following is a brief account of one of my recent experi- 
ences : 
Case 31. Mr. Victor U., aet. 30, manufacturer, married, en- 
tirely well, except for anxiety attacks during which his heart 
nearly stops beating, fears he will die. For these spells he takes 
bromides; and because he fears that the spells may come upon 
him during the night he takes also two tablets of adalin at bed- 
time. He has been taking the adalin for months and on no 
account could he be induced to give up this drug. Without it 
the fear of a spell would keep him from falling asleep. Con- 
cerning his sexual life, he relates, to begin with, the usual facts. NARCOTOMANIA (DRUG ADDICTION) 
229 
His married life is happy, he carries out sexual intercourse daily 
with his wife. 
I take this opportunity of pointing out that paraphilias are 
often covered up by such daily gratifications. The normal 
individual has times when his sexual needs are great, other 
times when he is relatively cool. He displays a certain 
periodicity. On the other hand persons indulging in inter- 
course daily require such regular release of sex on account 
of their hidden fear of some paraphilia. It is therefore wrong 
to assume that because A. or B. indulges daily in sexual inter- 
course he is sexually gratified. The decisive question is 
whether he has found the form of gratification which is 
adequate for him. 
That something was amiss in Victor's marriage is shown 
by his attitude towards his wife. He is tremendously jealous, 
always suspicious, driving and tyrannizing her. Many un- 
pleasant episodes break out between them over trifles. He 
admits that he is not suited for married life and he regrets 
having married at all. He is strongly fixed on his family. 
He displays a certain predisposition towards homosexuality, 
traceable in part to his early memories and partly to his army 
experiences. After four weeks the analysis reaches a stand- 
still. No further associations come to his mind and the long- 
ing for adalin returns as bad as ever. A strict attitude is 
required to convince him that if he narcotizes himself again, 
thus effectively walling off the gates to his dream life, he 
cannot get anywhere with the analysis. I am about to give 
up the analysis as a hopeless task when, after a night free 
from adalin, he brings me the following dream: 
I am about to enter a cabaret. At the entrance a somewhat 
shabby appearing man, obviously drunk, takes me by the arm 
and leads me away. We come to a water closet. I see a couple 
of prostitutes going in and I step into the neighboring compart- 
ment to watch them. 
The interpretation is perfectly plain. The intoxicated man 
is his antagonist. The latter leads him to a water closet where 
he behaves like a voyeur. Is this dream meaningless? Not  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
230 
in the least; it leads to hidden complexes. As a matter of 
fact the patient confesses that, since his early youth, he has 
been passionately fond of watching children and women in 
the act of defecating. Up to the time of his marriage he 
yielded to his inclination. He frequented urinals and often 
found convenient holes through which to peep. He was 
afraid of getting into trouble with the police. For that reason 
he decided to suppress his paraphilia by getting married. 
Apparently he no longer harbors the desire. But the longing 
still asserts itself through these attacks. In order not to yield 
and not to dream, he must take adalin. 
From that point on the analysis proceeded smoothly and 
brought to light a number of infantilisms. Four more weeks 
of analysis led to complete recovery,-quiet sleep without 
adalin. The infantile root proved to be the fact that when 
he was a little boy the father as well as the mother had the 
habit of taking him to the urinal when he woke up at night, 
if nobody else was around, in order to look after him. 
In another case of addiction to veronal I was able to ferret 
out a father's intense affection for his daughter. The nar- 
cotomania set in only at 40 years of age, after a period of 
extreme sleeplessness. The affection was wholly unconscious. 
It was brought out for the first time through the analysis, 
consciously met and annulled. V 
STEALING (THEFT) 
Every one is a thief in his way. 
Proverb. 
It is beyond my task to attempt the formulation of a compre- 
hensive psychology of theft. But it is undeniably a fact that 
stealing is a propensity deeply ingrained in human nature 
so that, in spite of punishments, in spite of all educational 
and religious proscriptions, it cannot be uprooted. The safety 
of personal ownership depends on the concept of property. 
But the well-known adage, "Property is theft!" alone shows 
that things may be turned topsy-turvy. Property rights have 
been seriously jeopardized during the war. On the one hand 
enemy property was outlawed and often treated as free 
booty, not unlike the custom which prevailed during the middle 
ages; on the other hand the State reached out, encroaching 
upon the property rights of the individuals to the limit. The 
rights of the individuals gradually diminished. Precious 
metals and money had to be turned over for the common good. 
Analytical scrutiny discloses that, as a matter of fact, the 
concept of property always differs according to local and 
particular conditions. Coast inhabitants regard the floating 
objects brought in by the tides as their property upon recover- 
ing them. So also with the found articles: I know persons of 
strong social conscience and high moral principles who regard 
the articles they find as their own property. Every one has 
to fight against the tendency of holding on to the found 
articles and goes through a more or less severe conflict be- 
fore turning any found article over to the community (and 
thus eventually, to the rightful owner). The matter is often 
rationalized with the supposition that, in the hands of the 
police, the article in question will be lost track of or that the 
waiter, or the proprietor, will keep the article anyway; there- 
231 232 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
fore the original finder thinks he may as well enjoy the 
possession of it. The law has taken cognizance of this tend- 
ency by establishing the principle of a "legal finder's reward." 
Freud has pertinently called our attention to the little tricks 
at games which add zest to the play. His Psychopathology 
of Everyday Life gives a number of relevant illustrations. 
There are various petty thefts whereby the unconscious 
helps us appropriate foreign belongings. The tendency of 
keeping borrowed books is tremendously pronounced. Every 
owner of a library knows that fact very well. Every book 
borrower knows through personal experience how difficult it 
is sometimes to return a borrowed book; through "neglect" 
or sheer "forgetfulness" books are sometimes kept for months 
and even for years.1 Cheating the street railways also belongs 
to the petty slips of the average man; of course, this amounts 
to a cheating of the respective community. I know a number 
of liberal, spendthrifty persons who, nevertheless, are happy 
if the conductor overlooks them and they avoid paying the 
trifling amount of their fare. Indeed, they get off a station 
ahead of their destination in order to avoid paying. Others 
become engrossed in reading or feign distraction while wait- 
ing for developments with an inner tension of expectancy. 
Such petty tricks are general indicators of mankind's crim- 
inal instincts. 
The withholding of pencils, an article often borrowed and 
but seldom returned, also belongs to the category of everyday 
petty stealing and usually carries a sexual symbolism. Stran- 
gers' umbrellas, too, seem to exert a great attraction, as I 
have found to my discomfiture. That is true also of borrowed 
handkerchiefs, which are seldom returned. 
The extension of the sense of ownership to the whole world 
is obviously one of the most significant primordial reactions. 
The primitive man felt himself in the possession of the whole 
world. Something of that feeling seems to persevere in every 
human being as a relic of bygone ages and to be still active 
as a determinant of conduct. Therefore, the impulse to steal 
may overwhelm persons who thought themselves absolutely 
secure against such temptations. 
Very interesting are the relations of theft and superstition. STEALING (THEFT) 
233 
Folklore discloses the relics of an earlier, more archaic con- 
ception of theft, according to which the disposition to steal 
was not considered a crime, but a sort of a special aptitude, 
deserving envy. Any successful highway robber is held to 
this day in a certain popularity. I recall a Hungarian gov- 
ernment clerk, Ketcskemeti, who ran off to America with a 
large amount of stolen money before the police could get hold 
of him. In the discussions about the occurrence I have heard 
numerous expressions of admiration for the man: "What a 
smart man he must have been I" 
In Gross's Archiv (Vol. XIX), Dr. A. Hellwig writes on 
the folklore of theft: "I am in a position to record some new 
illustrations from Germany. In the Lippe district there pre- 
vails the belief that he who builds a house must use bought, 
stolen, and donated wood, otherwise he will be unlucky. That 
is said to have been formerly so settled a belief that even the 
wealthiest builders who owned their own woods stole a tree 
whenever they constructed a building, paying for it after- 
wards. 
"According to a formula for achieving invisibility, found in 
a book of which thousands of copies are still in circulation, one 
must steal a black cat in order to extract from its tail vertebrae, 
in the mysterious manner therein described, the precious bone 
of invisibility. 
"From Hungary it is reported that at the new moon the girl 
steals honey and flour, and, adding some of her menstrual 
flow, bakes a cake to give to the young man whose love affec- 
tion she is eager to secure. 
"Among the Jews a certain Samuel Primo, a man renowned 
as a prophet, is said to have achieved some miraculous cures 
with stolen pieces of parchment. 
"The gypsies use for fortune telling an instrument sounding 
not unlike the Hungarian Zaubertrommel which they make 
out of a piece of stolen animal skin stretched over a wooden 
hoop. . . ." 
Particularly interesting, among these customs and super- 
stitions, is the inclusion of something stolen in the building 
of a new house. The new house is one's own. The evil 
conscience which holds that the property is really not one's 234 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
own, and that no good comes to one's own, finds thus a cryptic 
expression. This stands for rebellion against the public moral- 
ity which accords one no rights except to what is strictly one's 
own. ("Ungerechtes Gut, gedeiht nicht gut!"} The self 
somehow rebels within us against this conception, especially 
since we often see certain individuals getting on very well 
with stolen goods. A remnant of the old belief in Satan's 
power and in witchcraft still lurks in our minds. He who 
"signs himself up" with the devil has good luck on earth. 
This satanism, which is always linked with anal eroticism, 
corresponds also with the custom prevalent among thieves and 
porch climbers of polluting with their excreta the scene of 
their deeds. (The so-called grumus merdce.} The thieves 
thus exhibit the infantilism of leaving behind a precious sub- 
stitute for the stolen goods. 
Literary theft is interesting. I have repeatedly pointed out 
the relationship between criminality and artistic predisposi- 
tion.2 The history of plagiarism is well worth an extensive 
account of its own. Among musicians this reproach is always 
hurled with a certain harshness. This is particularly true of 
those who serve the lighter muse. I have noted that operetta 
composers frequently accuse one another of the offence. A 
composer whom I analyzed, speaking of a colleague of his, 
said to me: "We all plagiarize. But such shameless stealing 
as this fellow carries on is beyond all limits!" Of course, 
it is often very hard to tell where unconscious reproduction 
from memory (cryptomnesia} ends and deliberate plagiarizing 
begins. During my student years I composed a valse. I 
was much angered when a musician, for whom I proudly 
played my piece, pointed out that the theme occurs in the 
Freischittz. It was a very original minor theme, and I thought 
a great deal of it. Great was my surprise when I finally 
convinced myself that my critic was right. Up until that time 
I had heard the Freischuts but once, and had never played 
the piano accompaniment. Obviously the memory of it must 
have become deeply embedded in the music center of my brain 
and my artistic effort must have been but a reproduction. 
We are always inclined to hear something evil of our 
fellowmen more readily than what is favorable. That is a STEALING (THEFT) 
235 
general human peculiarity.3 Suspicions find a more willing 
ear than praises. Certain evils have thus become embedded 
in our daily life, and very few persons seem to possess any 
unbiased judgment of good and evil, or right and wrong. 
If we hear a new melody with a familiar air at once we 
proclaim it is stolen! The poor musician-creator is branded 
a musician-thief by the turn of a hand. 
Familiarity with the classical music scores convinces the 
penetrating observers that the same melodies are found in the 
works of numerous prominent musicians. Who is not familiar 
with Zerlinchen's touching appeal in Don Juan: "Batti, batti, 
o mio Masetto"? 
The same melody in B major instead of F major is found in 
Beethoven's famous Eb major piano quartet as Adagio; and 
Brahms opens a plaintive phrase in one of his chamber music 
compositions with the same theme. 
In his richly melodious septette (op. 20), Beethoven winds 
the rounds of charming variations on a subtle, touching mel- 
ody. Subsequent researches have shown that the melody in 
question was already well known on the Rhine and belonged 
to "Die Losgekaufte," a folksong. Nevertheless the melody, 
like the expressive "Sah ein Knab ein Rbslein steh'n," bears 
his immortal name. 
After the unfortunate Dagali fight (1887), Gabriele d'An- 
nunzio published a noteworthy poem, closing with the follow- 
ing words: 
Noi, toi figli, veglieremo 
In silenzio-il tuo supremo 
Giorno, Patria, attenderemo. 
E. Thovez, writing in the Revue des Revues, shows that the 
whole poem is almost word for word an imitation of an older 
poem by Tommaseo. The same word pictures, the same 
measure, the same number of stanzas. Compare the above 
with Tommaseo's last verse: 
Se morriam, pianti morremo 
E temuti. O se supremo 
Il tuo giorno attenderemo. 236 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
The same critic accuses d'Annunzio of numerous plagiar- 
isms from Flaubert, de Goncourt, Baudelaire, Maeterlinck, 
and Shelley. 
Such alleged plagiarisms are far from uncommon in liter- 
ature. A few years ago F. Sarcey pointed out that Sydney 
Grundy's highly praised A Pair of Spectacles was but a 
repetition of Les Petits Oiseaux, a forgotten play by Labiche. 
A few years ago the literary controversy between Rostand 
and a certain American preoccupied the attention of the whole 
literary world. (Re Cyrano de Bergerac.) 
German literature discloses a large number of similar iden- 
tities. The following illustration is particularly interesting: 
The much talented and equally melodious lyricist, Joh. Chr. 
Gunther, who died in 1723, begins a lengthy poem with the 
following stanza: 
Wie gedacht, 
Vor geliebt, ist ausgelacht, 
Gestern in die Schoss gerissen, 
Heute vor der Brust geschmissen, 
Morgen in die Gruft gebracht. 
Hauff, the poet, who died in 1827, expresses the same 
thought in his famous Reiterlied, which has become a folk- 
song, and does it in a similar form: 
Kaum gedacht, 
War der Lust ein End' gemacht. 
Gestern noch auf stolzen Rossen, 
Heute durch die Brust geschossen, 
Morgen in das kiihle Grab. 
Compare the similarity in rhythm, tone coloring, thought! 
It is noticeable at once that the second poem is an unconscious 
free imitation of the first. 
Victor Recko, in the Euphorion, discloses a remarkable 
parallelism between Ovid and Geibel,-probably another in- 
stance of unconscious imitation, such as might easily occur 
in the creative work of so thorough a philologist as Geibel, 
who undoubtedly knew by heart the respective passage in STEALING (THEFT) 
237 
Ovid (Met. I, 127). It is well known that close preoccupation 
with an author often leaves unsuspected traces in the poet- 
philologist. 
Illustrations of this type could be easily gathered by the 
thousands and might fill volumes. 
In contrast with this avalanche of material an essay by 
Rudolf Furst on the subject sounds unconvincing. He tries 
to prove plagiarism between Nestroy and Reuter, Dickens 
and Ebner-Eschenbach, Eugene Sue and Edmond Rostand, 
because these writers have used similar material. He is par- 
ticularly sharp in his criticism of Heinz Tovote, whom he 
accuses of having lifted the plot for his well-known novel, 
Liebesrausch, from Keller's Sinngedicht. Furst rounds out 
his criticism with satiric warnings to the writers to abstain 
from such doings in the future and advises them to cultivate 
their own fields. 
Need I point out that Goethe, Shakespeare and Moliere 
have also been proven plagiarists? Even Rabelais is said to 
have borrowed from Merlino Coccajo. Indeed, certain critics, 
like the French novelist, Edouard Rod, go so far as to claim 
that it is the writer's privilege to help himself to whatever 
he can utilize. Regarding Gabriele d'Annunzio he states: 
"His plagiarism need not affect in the least our admiration 
for his genius; we may well compare the great writers with 
sponges that suck up the surrounding moisture." 
But that is going too far. Later we shall examine the 
psychopathology of plagiarism more closely. Meanwhile I 
want to make clear one point. Deliberate (i.e., "conscious") 
appropriation of another's property, whether material or 
artistic, is plain theft. In my opinion the writers and musi- 
cians mentioned above have carried out their plagiarisms only 
"unconsciously." It is an occurrence known to the psycholo- 
gist as "cryptomnesia." 
I hear a melody in my childhood. Apparently I have for- 
gotten it,-the melody abides no longer in my conscious mem- 
ory. One day, in composing a song, I make up the melody, 
which, sounding new to my consciousness, appears to me 
as an original creation. This process is called cryptomnesia, 
in contrast with the abnormal vividness of conscious memory, 238 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
which is called hypernesia. The same thing happens to the 
lyricist with a long forgotten poem, or to the dramatist with 
some plot which entirely escapes his conscious memory. How 
many innumerable impressions doze under the threshold of 
our consciousness, of which we are wholly unaware during 
the waking state? The dream analyses previously recorded 
prove this fact. 
In one of his earlier psychiatric studies Dr. K. Jung4 has 
closely analyzed the cryptomnesic phenomena of a spiritistic 
medium. And his medium spoke a foreign language which 
was easily traced to its memory source. Flournoy has also 
studied carefully a similar case. That was the well-known 
medium Helene Smith, who was supposed to speak the lan- 
guage of the Martians. 
But Jung has been able to trace the remarkable operations 
of the unconscious also in connection with other illustrative 
data. He quotes a passage from Nietzsche's Zarathustra, 
which, though unimportant in itself, seems borrowed, with 
astonishing fidelity, from Kerner's book, Blatter aus Prevorst. 
At that time, while Zarathustra 
lived on the happy isle, it came 
about that a ship dropped anchor 
at the isle where stood the smoking, 
smouldering mountain, and the men 
went ashore to shoot rabbits. But 
towards the noon hour, while the 
captain and his men were fore- 
gathered together, they saw sud- 
denly a man drifting through the 
air towards them, and his voice 
plainly said: "It is time: it is high 
time!" But just when the figure 
was closest to them-it floated past 
like a shadow, in the direction of 
the fire mountain-they recognized, 
to their great consternation, that it 
was Zarathustra, for all, with the 
exception of the Captain himself, 
had seen him before. "Look!" ex- 
claimed old Steuer-Hahnn. "Zara- 
thustra is going to his mole." 
Nietssche's Werke, vol. VI, Also 
Sprach Zarathustra, p. 191, Leipzig, 
1901. 
The four captains and a merchant, 
Mr. Bell, went ashore on the strand 
of Mount Stromboli Island, to shoot 
rabbits. At three o'clock they 
called their men together, to go 
aboard the ship when, to their utter 
astonishment, they saw two men 
floating through the air rapidly 
towards them. One was clothed in 
black, the other wore grey clothes: 
they passed the men closely by, in 
great haste, and, to their extreme 
astonishment, the two figures de- 
scended through the burning flames 
into the pit of the terrible Mount 
Stromboli Volcano. The two men 
were recognized as familiar persons 
from London. 
(A horror-inspiring extract front 
the log of the good ship "Sphinx," 
on a Mediterranean journey in the 
year 1686.) 
Justus Kerner: Blatter aus Pre- 
worst, vol. IV, p. 57. 
"According to the information received from Frau E. 
Forster-Nietzsche, the writer's sister, in reply to my inquiry, STEALING (THEFT) 
239 
Nietzsche was keenly interested in Justus Kerner between his 
12th and 15th year, while he was with his grandfather, Pastor 
Oehler, in Pobler, but positively not thereafter. It can hardly 
be possible that the writer intended to plagiarize an extract 
from a ship journal, and had this been the case he surely 
would have left out the highly commonplace and wholly irrel- 
evant passage, "to shoot rabbits." Obviously, while engaged 
in a poetic description of Zarathustra's descent that forgotten 
impression of his youth came to surface in a half, or wholly, 
unconscious manner. 
"This illustration shows all the peculiarities of cryptom- 
nesia: a detail, entirely insignificant, deserving but quick for- 
getting, is suddenly reproduced almost with verbal accuracy, 
while the chief points of the story are,-we cannot say spe- 
cially changed, but-newly created. The old, forgotten im- 
pressions of a similar situation loom up, as plastic detail 
around the individual theme, the idea of descent into the 
cave. Moreover, the passage in question is so senseless, the 
well-read youngster probably passed lightly over it without 
giving it any particular attention. This provides the requisite 
minimum of associative linking, for we could not easily con- 
ceive a greater contrast than from that old tale to Nietzsche's 
state of consciousness in the year 1883. If we try to visualize 
Nietzsche's state of mind when he wrote his Zarathustra and 
take into consideration the fact that the writer's ecstasy at 
the time approached, in more than one respect, the borderland 
of the pathological, the bobbing up of such a reminiscence 
seems easily conceivable. The other possibility (mentioned 
above), namely, the perception of something not unimportant 
in itself during a state of distraction, or while one's attention 
is but half engaged, because of lack of understanding, and 
its cryptomnesic reproduction is illustrated chiefly among 
somnambulists and mentioned in belles-lettres as a curious 
peculiarity of those who are about to die." 5 
What is thus discerned plainly in certain striking and 
particular instances must take place imperceptibily in con- 
nection with every artistic effort. What is "mine" and what 
is "thine"? In art such a question can never lead to a final 240 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
answer. Impressions come to us, thoughts throb within us 
to which we give expression; nevertheless they may not be 
our own. They have taken their course across and through 
our individuality. Every work of art is a chip of the world's 
structure seen through a new temperament. Rosegger once 
stated that he did not know his Heine well enough to express 
an opinion about him. Does he really know the great poet less 
than another? He has heard him in a thousand songs, he 
has found him quoted in newspapers. Every creative artist 
simmers in the social consciousness; his thoughts become part 
of the common possessions. Even if we refuse to read Heine, 
he presses himself upon us, we use his metaphors when speak- 
ing, we express his thoughts, he has become an integral part 
of the common language.0 
What we say, what we feel, what we write, is not aborigi- 
nally our own. We feed on those who have gone before us. 
The experiment ought to be made once of training an artist 
from his youth so that he is taught nothing but the lan- 
guage of his day. All inspiring precedents, strong impressions, 
and the trivial stimuli of daily life should be kept from him. 
What would his artistic outpouring be like? He would babble 
like the savage; he would have to possess the soul of a very 
great poet, indeed, to be able to compose a single good folk- 
song. 
All culture is a cumulative growth and every artistic creation 
is but a new grouping of old elements. One of the most 
majestic palaces in Rome was built out of material from 
the Capitol ruins. Our artistic works, too, are built out of 
old Capitol remains and the greatest genius undoubtedly is 
the artist who is capable of reproducing in his artistic work 
the whole culture of his age. The great men, therefore, are 
the subsuming lenses, gathering the scattered rays of light 
and focusing them on one point: their artistic creations. 
This conception disposes at one sweep of the continual talk 
about plagiarisms and stolen literary material as idle. Any 
one familiar with the mental process called cryptomnesia, as 
described above, will rarely be inclined to think of deliberate 
thefts. However, as already stated, our inclination is to 
shade our fellowmen's picture a little blacker than need be. STEALING (THEFT) 
241 
We thus absolve ourselves readily of any responsibility and 
it costs no struggle to throw the first stones against those 
sins which are not our sins. 
The artist-creator is to a certain extent psychically infantile. 
Hence the tendency to steal persists in many an individual 
of this type. I shall name no names. But any one who reads 
attentively our daily newspapers knows of enough instances 
showing that writers who enjoy an enviable reputation may 
be guilty of stealing. I do not mean mere plagiarisms, but 
actual theft. In such instances the artist behaves like a child, 
-and most children pilfer titbits or steal. Pilfering titbits 
is a mild form of stealing. 
Every one who understands children knows that most chil- 
dren show a more or less pronounced tendency to take things. 
The mildest form of this is the desire to indulge in titbits. 
Children find it most enjoyable to steal eatables even when 
they could secure the things without any trouble merely by 
asking for them. This desire may persist in adults as well. 
In such cases the habit amounts to a symbol,-it relates to 
"forbidden indulgences." What is forbidden exerts a tre- 
mendous attraction; and many peculiarities of behaviour 
derive their great emotional stress alone from the fact that 
they center on something that is "forbidden." We have seen 
that every person submits unwillingly to the requirements of 
culture, that every commandment amounts to something that 
is not self and is therefore conceived as opposed to self. 
Primal reactions impel man to take for himself whatever 
strikes his fancy. Obtaining permission implies recognizing 
the rights of another; it implies humility. The self-reliant 
individual reaches out for whatever he wants. And he has 
the lofty feeling of committing a sin, of placing himself above 
the limitations imposed by commandments. 
The child, through stealing, as well as through lying, proves 
his aloofness from the environment. We shall see later that 
this form of impulsive behaviour has also a sexual determi- 
nant. But we are able to understand the child who steals 
even without that determinant. The child is closer to the 
plane of the primal reactions than the adult. His self-asser- 
tiveness is not limited by the inhibitions of the adult, nor is  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
242 
his concept of property so sharply delineated. The world and 
all it contains are still his. 
Wagner-Jauregg recognizes very cogently this infantile root 
of the impulse to steal. In his essay, Ueber krankhafte Trieb- 
handhtngen,1 he states very plainly: 
"We speak of Triebhandlungen (instinctive behaviour), 
when a volitional act is carried out through a single motive, 
which usually has its roots in a simple sensory feeling. In 
this sense most animal acts are illustrations of instinctive be- 
haviour. The behaviour of children during their earlier de- 
velopmental period is chiefly instinctive. In the course of 
mental development the motives of conduct become more com- 
plex, inasmuch as the instinctive cravings become mixed with 
a mass of images and feelings which, on the one hand, have 
the effect frequently of suppressing the instinct (consequently 
leading to no action), while, on the other hand, conduct 
assumes forms and directions deviating from the original in- 
stinctive behaviour. 
"In a strictly psychologic sense we cannot, as a rule, speak 
of an instinct to steal, so far as man in his fuller states of 
development is concerned, inasmuch as usually the act of steal- 
ing involves a rather complex series of mental processes and 
is not motivated by a simple sensory feeling. But tracing 
man's spiritual development down to earliest childhood, we 
certainly find there a simple instinctive reaction as the first 
expression of the tendency to steal: The child reaches out 
for everything within its grasp; and the motive for this in- 
stinctive reaction is the pleasurable feeling generated by the 
contact with the grasped article, the gratification of the sense 
of touch. Education and experience play upon that instinct. 
They teach the child to suppress its instinct-craving under cer- 
tain circumstances; on the other hand they arouse in the child 
certain notions of purpose and the concept of property and 
regulate the instinct by sublimating it into higher forms so 
that out of it there arise eventually forms of conduct, having 
no longer the least similarity with the aboriginal reaction. 
Indeed, by awakening the desire for possessing things and a STEALING (THEFT) 
243 
striving for the means of acquiring them instinct becomes the 
source of significant ethical traits. 
"Stealing is traceable to this aboriginal instinct. The child 
is a born thief by reason of its instinct. That instinct becomes 
regulated in time through education and experience; i.e., the 
instinct remains, but the acts to which it leads retain no longer 
the character of simple instinctive behaviour. 
"In other words, these thefts, in the overwhelming majority 
of instances, retain no longer the character of a pure instinct; 
they differ from the original instinct through the fact that 
the perception of purpose plays now a decisive role. The 
pleasurable feeling roused by the simple act of grasping an 
object, by the act of taking hold of something, is no longer 
the motive that leads to theft, but another pleasurable feel- 
ing,-connected with the anticipated enjoyment of the stolen 
article. 
"However, there are cases showing that the child's instinc- 
tive propensity for stealing may sometimes persist in its pure 
form, not only during the earlier years, but also during the 
adult age, where the act of stealing in itself, regardless of 
the value of the stolen article, generates the pleasurable sen- 
sation. Such persons we call cleptomaniacs." 
What is the character of the pleasurable feeling to which 
Wagner-Jauregg refers? Analyses which I shall quote later 
will clear up this point. Certain writers have confessed almost 
freely the thefts they have committed during childhood. 
Others cover this under silence. Not every writer possesses 
the candor of a Jean Jacques Rousseau, who has recorded 
with great care and accuracy even his thefts. I want to quote 
two significant instances from literature: one, Gottfried Keller, 
well known, and the other, Hermann Hesse. The latter case, 
in particular, will yield significant and instructive light on the 
subject. 
A characteristic account of childhood stealing is found in 
Gottfried Keller's autobiographic novel, Der Griine Heinrich. 
Heinrich is going through his period of fib-telling. He tells 
a friend, who is as good a liar as himself, that he has dis- 244 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
covered a buried treasure. In order to remove all doubt, he 
leads the boy into the cellar, where he had previously buried 
a little box with rare and shiny new coins, and shows his 
friend some of the coins. The little box was his, the coins 
had been saved one by one for him by his mother. But he 
claims it contains also precious gifts, etc. The lie grows 
in the telling. A pretty girl is represented as the objective 
of erotic wishes. Heinrich buys her a chain and other false 
jewels, his friend drags him to the girl's house where he 
throws down his gifts, but coming out of the house he claims 
that he knelt before the beauty and handed her the gifts in 
person. His friend demands further that he throw a kiss 
to the girl, seated at the window; this our little hero does in 
his shy manner, then runs off in a hurry and catching hold 
of his friend, who had meanwhile gone on an errand to 
buy some salami (which, by the way, he threw into the river 
because it was spoiled), throws him to the ground and gives 
him a beating. The sexual symbolism, particularly of the 
salami, is fairly obvious, and so is also the transference from 
the friend to the girl. Obviously the two youths played at 
heterosexual dreams in order to cover up their reciprocal 
homosexual feeling-attitude. Even the fight is a substitute 
for the homosexual act. It is characteristic that the treasure 
actually belonged to the mother. (Treasure, symbol of love.) 
Now the dam was broken. Heinrich had learned to steal. 
He tells us what happened further: 
"On the other hand, regarding money I faced the painful 
prospect of having to play, at any rate, a suppressed and sparing 
role. I sat one evening in a corner, thus reflecting, when sud- 
denly a certain thought crossed my mind; I waited for mother 
to leave the house and then hurried to the mantelpiece where 
my little treasure box was standing. I opened it half-way and 
stealthily took out a large coin, which was lying uppermost; the 
other coins shifted a little in their places, making a slight silvery 
sound, but in that clear tuneful metallic sound I seemed to per- 
ceive a certain force that made me shiver. Quickly I drew my 
prize aside, but already I found myself in a peculiar state of 
mind which afterwards made me shy and diffident with mother. 
For whereas my former deed was more the result of an external STEALING (THEFT) 
245 
compulsion and had not particularly roused my qualms of con- 
science, my present act was something voluntary and deliberate; 
I was doing something which, I knew, my mother would never 
approve; even the coin seemed to me to lose some of its beauty 
and lustre in the profane act of withdrawing it; but the fact that 
I was taking my own money, though stealthily, and was doing it 
to help myself out of a tight corner, saved me from the feeling 
of committing an outright theft; it may have been a feeling not 
unlike that which must have dawned upon the lost son when he 
went off one morning to squander his share of his father's 
inheritance. 
"We planned a fine walk for one of the approaching Sun- 
days, and that again was to test the tenuous planners. In my 
carelessness I did not consider the question where to get the 
necessary means, and saw no obstacle to the plan: but when the 
moment came for action, I again went to the sideboard, without 
sensing anything but the urgent need, and a sort of vague resolu- 
tion that this must be the last time. 
The whole Summer thus went by; the predisposing mood had 
long since passed, the participants turned their attention again 
to the orderly course of things in general. I too would have 
turned again temperate and careful if the course I had pursued 
had not led to another evil, namely, a passionate desire to spend 
money freely, to be a spendthrift. I felt every minute a craving 
to buy the little things dear to the heart of a child. My hand 
was in my pocket at all times ready to drag out coins. The things 
that the boys usually swapped I bought with bare cash and then 
I gave them away to children, or beggars, and to some appren- 
tices who formed my retinue and profited by my delusion while 
it lasted. For it was a genuine delusion. It did not occur to 
me at all that this thing cannot go on forever; not once did I 
lift entirely the cover off the little box so as to survey the con- 
tents and see how much money there was left; instead, I merely 
shoved in my hand under the cover to take out a coin at a time, 
and I never thought of how much I must have squandered 
already. Nor did I feel afraid of being found out: at school, 
and in my work, I was not worse than formerly, rather better, 
because no ungratified wishes led me any longer to do absent- 
mindedly anything wrongly, and the great sense of freedom in 
which I indulged while spending my money showed itself also 
during my work in a certain promptness and resoluteness of 
action. In addition to that I felt a vague need of throwing off 246 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
to a certain extent the obvious evil spell which was growing upon 
me, by faithfully carrying out my duties." 
The discovery and the pedagogically excellent conduct of 
the mother on the occasion are beautifully described by the 
writer: 
"One day, while sitting at the window trying to look at the 
restful spots on the sunny roofs, on the hills, and in the sky, and 
to forget the reproaching room behind me, mother called out my 
name in a tone distinctly harsher than usual; I turned around 
and there she was standing near the table with the opened little 
box and two or three loose coins. 
"She gave me a severe and worried look and then said: 'Look 
into that box.' I did so with a half gaze which for the first time 
in a long period disclosed to me the familiar inside appearance 
of the plundered box. It gaped at me reproachfully. 'Then it 
is true,' mother continued, 'what I have heard and what I now 
see confirmed with my own eyes,-that my good and comforting 
thought of having a good boy, a fine boy, turns out a deception ?' 
I stood there speechless and looked down into a corner; a deep 
sense of unhappiness and misfortune went through me so power- 
fully, so overwhelmingly that it can be experienced only in a 
long and many-sided human life; but through that dark cloud 
there was discernible already a loving spark of forgiveness and 
surcease. My mother's frank look as she took in my actual state 
of mind began to lift the nightmare that had been pressing upon 
me theretofore; her eyes were strict but kindly, and the look in 
them relieved me of my pain; and in that moment I felt an inex- 
pressible affection for my mother, who thus buoyed up my 
broken spirits and transmuted my despair into a happy re- 
lief. . . 
Deep psychologic insight is disclosed also in the following 
well-known passage from Keller's Frau Amr ein und ihr 
J Ungs ter: 
"If he did something stupid or stole some titbits on the sly 
she did not treat the misdeed as a crime, but showed him in a 
few w'ords the ridiculous character and the futility of his doings. 
If he took or did away with something that did not belong to STEALING (THEFT) 
247 
him, or if he indulged in one of those extravagant purchases 
which scare the parents so badly, she did not make a catastrophe 
out of it, but only put him to shame frankly and openly as a 
foolish, thoughtless boy. But for that she was the more strict 
with him if he behaved meanly or indelicately, whether in words 
or gesture, which but seldom happened; on the other hand, she 
kept him close to the Good Book and gave him such good thrash- 
ings when he needed them that he never forgot the lessons. All 
that was exactly the reverse of what was customary in such 
instances. If a child misspends some money or takes something 
else, parents and teachers become terribly concerned, lest the 
child grow up to be a thief, almost as if they themselves felt how 
hard it was not to become thief or rascal. What amounts to 
nothing more serious, in ninety-nine cases out of one hun- 
dred, than the momentary unexplainable thoughts and dreams of 
a growing child, is made the ground for terrible predictions and 
the talk is of nothing but prison. . . ." 
Keller writes with extraordinary insight about children's 
stealing and with that knowledge self characteristic of a 
man to whom nothing human is foreign. I have frequent 
opportunity of observing how unwisely parents are acting, 
how they threaten children, instead of overlooking mistakes 
with understanding. I have frequently observed in the course 
of analyses that such threats (You will yet end with a 
rope around your neck! Nothing good will come of you! 
You will surely land in jail!) strengthen the child's sense of 
inferiority and rob him of the hope of changing his instinct- 
reactions. The child becomes resigned to his fate and gives 
in to his instincts. His struggle seems hopeless. Nothing 
helps. You are lost anyway! hopeless! You have been told 
so! Such predictions often act as determinants leading the 
child in the wrong direction. 
At any rate parents should know that juvenile theft signifies 
merely a way out of a sexual pressure. Impulse leads the 
child to a deed which quiets down the impulse; thus the 
inner restlessness leads to theft. In the case of Gottfried 
Keller the sexual motive was not very transparent: the pre- 
monitory symptoms are not described so clearly as in the 
case of Hermann Hesse, whose novel, Kinderseele, is a treas- 248 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
ure for child psychology. Here the predisposition to steal 
is described wonderfully well. The day or the night before 
the deed is already heralded. But whereas Keller's thefts 
seem to have a motive, in the case of Hesse the theft is 
carried out through sheer joy in the act; it is therefore more 
convincing. But this pleasure in stealing is over-compensated 
by a series of dysphoric accompaniments (unpleasure). The 
act itself is preceded by a prolonged psychic aura, heralding 
the birth of the deed. Sometimes a certain dream precedes 
the deed, at other times the premonitory condition consists 
merely of a vague but characteristic sense of inner unrest 
such as we have already described in Chapter II as the ex- 
pression of the impulse. The inner conflict takes place be- 
yond the realm of ordinary consciousness. The child knows 
merely that something is impending. 
The eleven-year-old boy returns home from school in a 
state of unrest. He is filled with premonitions and dread, 
his conscience is ill at ease, as if he were guilty of some 
offence. May it have been the after effect of a dream?-asks 
the writer. Life seems empty. He and his friend Oscar 
have jointly a savings box and with the money they intend 
to buy a pistol which was seductively exhibited in a hardware 
dealer's shop window. Oscar, though only a workman's son, 
has deposited the first coin. The friendship with Oscar, pis- 
tols, savings box,-everything points to a vague yearning 
for the great wide world. But on that particular day every- 
thing seems flat to that boy. He has his doubts about God 
and rails at Him. "Isn't God horrible, insane, stupid? Ah, 
and even while I indulged in these thoughts with a rebel's 
zest, my uneasy heart was fluttering in fear of punishment 
for this blasphemy." 
This rebellion against God, parents and teacher, the holy 
trinity of authority, is something we encounter again and 
again. Every juvenile thief is a small reproduction of 
Prometheus, attempting to demolish the oppressive authority 
through lying and stealing. It is a striking fact that children 
as well as adults commit these impulsive thefts to the damage 
of some one in authority, the father, some favorite, the chief, 
the State. Stealing from the State in particular is a favorite STEALING (THEFT) 
249 
form of trespass (false income returns, smuggling of goods 
into the country, etc.). 
The boy's mind is a prey to anxiety. Anxiety is the basic 
feeling; it is the dread of punishment, the fear of one's own 
conscience, the fear of the inner cravings which are perceived 
as forbidden and criminal. 
Hesse gives us a wonderful description of the aura pre- 
ceding or accompanying the cleptomaniac deed: 
"A feeling of dread comes over the boy. It began with a sense 
of tightness in the breast reaching up to the throat and there 
culminated in a sense of suffocation and in nausea. Along with 
that a painful shyness (feeling of shame), a desire to be alone, to 
hide. In this state of mind, not unlike that of a criminal, he 
returns home and the moment he enters the hall he is certain: the 
devil is loose to-day, something is going to happen! The demon 
was skulking through the home ; unknown sin gnawed at his heart; 
behind every wall there stood, gigantic-yet invisible, a spirit, 
some one in authority, a judge." 
He controls his dread enough to press forward into the 
"father's realm": he reaches his father's study room. 
"Somewhat uneasy, as usual, I turn the old-fashioned knob 
and slyly open the door half-way. The familiar aroma of fa- 
ther's study room greets me: odor of books and ink, wafted by 
the blue air streaming in through the half-open windows, white, 
clean curtains, a trace of cologne water aroma and, on the table, 
an apple. But the room was empty. 
"With a feeling half of disappointment, half of relief, I stepped 
in. I softened my steps, walking on tiptoe, as we did whenever 
father was asleep or lying down on account of headache. And 
as soon as I became aware of my tiptoeing my heart began to beat 
fast, and the painful pressure on my chest, and the tightness in 
the throat, seized me with renewed strength. Fearsome and sly 
I kept on, step by step, no longer an innocent visitor or sup- 
pliant, but a sneak. I had already stolen into father's two-room 
apartment during his absence a number of times, to eavesdrop, 
or investigate, and twice I carried away little things. 
"This thought struck me with overwhelming force, and at once 
I seemed to know: misfortune was now at hand, something was  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
250 
going to happen, I was going to do something forbidden, some- 
thing evil. No intention of running away! To be sure, I did 
think of it, I thought keenly, anxiously of running down the steps 
and back to my room, or into the garden-but I felt I would not 
do it,-I knew I could not. Inwardly I wished father might stir 
in the next room and come in to break the terrible spell that 
drew me on. Oh, if he only came! If he came to scold me, 
if need be, but if he only came, before it was too late! 
"I cleared my throat to betray my presence, and, receiving no 
answer, I called out, lightly: 'Papa!' Everything was quiet; the 
many books on the wall were silent, a window pane, moved by 
the wind, threw a hasty sun spot across the floor. Nobody came 
in to save me; and, left to myself, I did not feel free to act other- 
wise than as led on by the demon. The feeling of being a 
criminal knotted my stomach and made my finger tips grow 
cold; my heart fluttered with dread. I had no idea, as yet, what 
I was about to do. I only knew it would be something evil. 
"I was now at the writing table; I picked up a book and read 
an English title, which I did not understand. English I despised, 
-that was the language father spoke with mother when he did 
not want us to understand and also when they quarrelled. There 
were all sorts of things in a cup,-toothpicks, steel pens, pins. I 
took a couple of the steel pens and dropped them in my pocket, 
God knows why; I did not need them ; I was by no means short of 
pens. I did it only in obedience to that impulse that held me 
vise-like in its grip so that I felt I was suffocating,-the impulse 
to do wrong, to damage myself, to load myself with guilt. I 
glanced through father's papers, and saw the beginning of a letter 
in which I read the words: 'We and our children, thank God, are 
very well,' and the rounded letters in his handwriting stared at 
me like eyes. 
"Then, carefully, stealthily, I crept into the sleeping room. 
Father's iron field cot stood there, his brown house slippers un- 
derneath, a handkerchief on the table. I breathed the paternal 
air in that cool, cheerful room and father's image stood clearly 
before me, while respect and mutiny filled my heavy heart. For 
a few moments I hated him; and I recalled with malicious joy 
his bad temper when, prostrated with headaches, he would be 
lying down on his low cot, a wet compress over the forehead, at 
times sighing. I could see plainly that he, too, did not find life's 
path uniformly rosy, that even he, the mighty, was not unfamiliar 
with fear and regrets. My momentary twinge of hatred gone, STEALING (THEFT) 
251 
pity and compassion rose into its place. But meanwhile I had 
opened one of the drawers in the dresser. The laundry was laid 
out orderly, there was also a bottle of Cologne water of which 
he was very fond; I wanted to smell of it, but the bottle was as 
yet uncorked and the cork stuck tightly, so I put the bottle back in 
its place. Nearby I found a little round box with pastilles, which 
smelled of licorice, and I stuck a few of them in my mouth. I 
was disappointed and to a certain extent disenchanted, but at the 
same time I was glad that I found nothing more. 
"I was about to give up and leave; I playfully opened another 
drawer, which felt not quite so heavy, even while I was thinking 
to put the couple of steel pens back in their place. Perhaps it 
was not too late to turn back and repent; perhaps I could still 
make good my mistake and save myself. Perhaps God's hand 
was, after all, stronger with me than the temptation. . . . 
"But I glanced quickly through the slit in the partly opened 
drawer. Ah I had there been only stockings, or shirts, or old 
papers in that drawer. But temptation lurked there; in a twin- 
kling the pressure that had hardly left my chest and my anxiety 
were back again; my hand fluttered and my heart galloped madly. 
In a woven basket of Indian or some other exotic pattern I saw 
there something extraordinarily inviting, tempting,-a whole gar- 
land of white candied figs 1 
"I hefted the garland of dried figs; it was tremendously heavy. 
Then I took two, three of the figs, tasted them, and put some 
more figs in my pocket. So, then, the dread and the adventure 
were not in vain, after all. No salvation, no peace, was any 
longer possible for me; at least I was not going away empty- 
handed. I took two or three more figs off the strand, which still 
seemed as heavy as ever, and again some more, and when my 
pockets were full and there were less than half of them left on 
the garland, I rearranged the figs on the string loosely so as to 
give it a fuller appearance. Then with sudden sheer fright I 
slammed the drawer back in place and ran through the two 
rooms, down the little stairway and into my room, where I 
stopped still, leaning on my little desk; my knees shook from 
weakness and I was struggling for breath. 
The mischief was done. The theft in itself was trivial, 
senseless. It was carried out for the mere pleasure of steal- 
ing. Reaction does not fail to set in. The forbidden pleasure 
is followed by disgust; he sobers up, washes his hands, and 252 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
comes to the table a prey to remorse, the taste of figs still 
in his mouth. He wonders whether he has covered up his 
tracks upstairs! 
"Now the torture was on in earnest. Gladly would I have 
had my hands chopped off, only to know that the figs were back 
in their place. I resolved to throw them away, or take them to 
school to give them away there. I wanted them out of the way, 
out of my sight. 
" 'You don't look well to-day,' said my father across the table. 
I lowered my eyes over my plate as I felt his glance searching my 
face. Now he knows it. He notices everything, always. Why 
does he begin to torture me so soon? He may as well lead me 
off at once and give me the thrashing that is coming to me, so 
far as I care. 
" 'Is something the matter with you ?' I hear his voice again. 
I lied; I said I had headaches. 
" 'You must rest a little after dinner,' said he. 'How many 
school have you this afternoon ?' 
" 'Only gymnastics.' 
" 'Well, gymnastics won't hurt you. But perhaps I am a little 
strict. It will pass.' 
"I glanced sideways. Mother said nothing but I knew she was 
looking at me. I forced down my soup, fought my way through 
with the meat and the vegetables, and asked twice for water. 
Nothing further happened. I was left alone. At the end, when 
father gave the blessing, 'Lord, we thank thee, for Thou art 
merciful and Thy mercy lasteth forevermore,' the simple, holy, 
trusting words cut like acid as did the presence of those who sat 
at the table; my folded hands were a lie, my humble demeanor 
blasphemy. 
"When I got up, mother stroked back my hair and passed her 
hand over my brow to find out whether I had fever. How bitter 
all that was to me! 
"Back in my room I stood still in front of my book rack. The 
morning did not deceive me, all the signs came true. It was an 
unfortunate day, the most miserable day I had ever gone through. 
Worse no man could stand. If anything worse came into one's 
life, there was nothing left but suicide. One must take poison, 
that would be best, or hanging oneself might be right. It were 
better to die than live on. Everything is so false and so bad, 
anyway. Absorbed in thought I thus stood still while I took the STEALING (THEFT) 
253 
stolen figs from my pockets, absent-mindedly munching them, 
one after another, without being aware of what I was doing. 
"Our little savings box fell under my eye; it was standing on 
one end of the rack, under the books. It was a plain cigar box, 
which I nailed more securely; in the cover I made a slit with 
my pocket knife, for the coins to be dropped in. The hole was 
rough and uneven, there were many splinters on its edges. Even 
that much I could not do well. I had comrades who made up 
such a box with great patience and care so that it looked as if 
it had gone through a planing mill. But I always rushed through 
everything and never did a thing right. As with my woodwork, 
so with my handwriting, and with my drawings, and with my 
butterfly collection, and with everything. I was hopeless. And 
now, here I was, and I had again stolen, more boldly than ever. 
The steel pens were still in my pocket. What for? Why did 
I take them-had to take them? Why did one do things without 
wanting ? 
"In the cigar box there rattled a single coin-the one Oscar 
Weber had dropped in. Nothing had been added since. That 
savings box idea was also one of my undertakings. It was no 
use; everything went wrong; I got stuck at the beginning in 
whatever I undertook. To the devil with the foolish box! I 
don't want to have anything to do with it any more. 
"The time between the noon meal and the beginning of the 
afternoon school period in such days as this hung heavy and was 
always hard for me to pass away. On good days, on days when 
peace, wisdom, and loveliness prevailed, it was an enjoyable 
period and I looked forward to it; either I read some Indian story 
in my room or I ran immediately after lunch back to school 
where I always found a number of my fun-loving comrades and 
we played, shouting and amusing ourselves to our heart's content 
until the bell rang and called us back to the almost forgotten 
realm of reality. But on days like this,-with whom could I 
play, and how was I to stifle the devils in my breast? I saw 
disaster coming, if not to-day, another time, perhaps soon. My 
fate was bound to overtake me in full. Only a little more, a tiny 
little more of this dread, and suffering, and hopelessness, and it 
will be too much; then,-the end of everything! One day, per- 
haps some such day as this, I will go to the devil altogether, 
through spite and anger; on account of the unbearable, senseless 
character of this life, I will yet do something terrible, something 
decisive, final; something that shall put an end to all this dread,  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
254 
and all this torture, once for all. I was uncertain as to what 
that would be: but on a number of previous occasions there had 
flitted already through my mind various fantasies and pictures, 
fancies of crimes through which I was to avenge myself against 
the whole world and at the same time destroy myself. Sometimes 
I had fancies of burning up our house; tremendous flames shot 
out in the night's gloom, houses and streets were caught in the 
conflagration, the whole town blazed gigantically against the dark 
sky. At other times the crime on which my fantasy dwelt was 
a dark deed of revenge against father, murder, cruel slaying. 
As for myself, I shall behave like that criminal. . . ." 
He had once watched a criminal who was led, handcuffed, 
to the Court, followed by a throng. The man, with his 
courageous, defiant and self-conscious demeanor, had made a 
tremendous impression on the boy. He, too, wanted to walk 
calmly to the scaffold and, like that criminal, gaze down upon 
the multitude with scornful silence. 
"And when I am executed, and dead, and standing before Him 
in heaven, I shall by no means bow or humble myself. Oh, no, 
even though all the angels surround Him and even though He 
be the embodiment of all that is holy and majestic. Let Him 
damn me, let Him throw me into the ever-burning pit. I shall 
not apologize, I shall not humble myself, I shall neither ask 
Him for forgiveness, nor repent. Should He question me: Have 
you done thus and so, my answer would be: Indeed, I have, and 
I have done worse than that, too, and, what is more, it was right 
that I did all these things while I had a chance, and if I could, 
I would do them over and over. I have slain and I have burned 
down homes, because it pleased me to do these things and because 
I wanted to scorn and anger Thee. Yes, for I hate Thee, I now 
spit at Thy feet, oh, God! It has pleased Thee to torture me. 
Thou hast set adults over us, children, to make a mess of our 
life." 
The painful tension must end. It becomes unbearable. As 
with Keller, the episode ends in a rough-and-tumble street 
fight. The evil friend must pay the score. The roused ag- 
gressiveness seeks an objective and seizes upon the nearest 
person available; in that connection vague sexual excitation 
and antagonism are fused together. STEALING (THEFT) 
255 
The significance of fighting as a source of sexual pleasure 
is hardly appreciated by our child psychologists. One may 
get an inkling of it watching little boys scuffle with servant 
girls or with their sisters, jumping on them, embracing them, 
etc. In the analysis of a homosexual I have found that the 
rough and tumble playing was a source of sexual pleasure. 
It furnished the subject the only opportunity of coming into 
close contact with a male body. The (intended) sexual ag- 
gression turns into an apparently asexual play. Love becomes 
transmuted into animosity. On such occasions the whole 
dammed-up hatred and the inhibited impulsive energy are re- 
leased. Rough-and-tumble fighting is an impulsive act. 
Assaulters are usually homosexuals, who are continually bent 
on reasserting their manliness; at the same time they delib- 
erately seek the opportunity of clashing with bodies of their 
own sex. Boys show this tendency much more clearly. 
Whenever they love one another they are certain to break 
out in a fight which also tests out their mutual physical re- 
lationship. 
"As we came near Metzger street in our rough-and-tumble 
fighting, a couple of persons stopped to watch us. We pum- 
melled each other in the abdomen and in the face and kicked at 
one another with our heels. For the nonce I forgot everything; 
I was in the right,-no longer a criminal,-the joy of battle 
intoxicated me, and, though Weber was the stronger, I was 
swifter, more careful, more agile and keener. We became en- 
raged and struck at each other with fury. When he tore open 
my shirt collar with a desperate tug, I felt in my ardor a stream 
of cool air wafting across my heated skin. 
"While we fought, striking, tearing, kicking, circling and 
strangling, we kept up our verbal combat at the same time, trying 
to insult, or even annihilate, one another with words that grew 
more expressive, more foolish and venomous, more far-fetched 
and fantastic, the longer we kept it up. In that too I was the 
more vicious, the more venomous, the more skillful of the two. 
If he called out 'dog,' I retorted with 'mad dog.' If he called 
me 'scoundrel,' I called him 'Satan.' We were bleeding without 
feeling any wound and at the same time we dealt out impreca- 
tions and curses, and each of us called for knives to stick into the 256 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
other's ribs; we cursed one another's name, ancestry, and fa- 
ther." 8 
The end of the episode, its solution and the artistic sub- 
limation of this experience should be read in the original. I 
know no other book that portrays in so skilful a manner the 
roots of cleptomania. 
Let us summarize our conclusions. The child exhibits an 
irresistible instinct of pugnacity {Bemachtigungstricb). It 
regards the world and all it contains as his possession. He 
is rebellious that others should have more than he. He per- 
ceives his weakness as a humiliation and rebels against the 
oppression by a "manly" deed, thus proving to himself that 
he is a whole man 9 (Adler's male protest). The vague pre- 
disposition to homosexuality, the attraction felt towards a 
friend, the interest in the father, or in the teacher, turns into 
hatred. The subject assumes an attitude of open rebellion 
against all authority and scorns every commandment as an 
encroachment. Disobedience heightens his self-regard. Pun- 
ishments or harsh words only strengthen the child's contrari- 
ness, a feeling-attitude which may be corrected only through 
love and proper educational insight. 
The vague sexual urge leads to an overt act. The sexual 
impulse craves the proof that the subject is actually grown 
up and no longer a child. The criminal act is always carried 
out in a state of high excitation, being associated with an 
emotional tension during which the logical processes of the 
mind are in abeyance and the usual inhibitions no longer in 
force. The stolen articles are often secondary. The im- 
pulsive act and not the stolen article is the true objective. 
Incidentally the stolen object heightens the sense of gratifica- 
tion. The money is spent on trifles which increase the self- 
regarding sentiment. In the case of Hesse it was a pistol. 
The symbolism of the stolen object is the theme of our next 
chapter. VI 
THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
Perhaps every pleasure whatsoever has its deepest roots in 
the robbing of our fellow man, regardless whether one robs 
him of his pucelage, his reputation sociale, his property, his 
life or anything else. For the sense of gratification lends 
to self its deepest coloring. And the self does not tolerate 
another's possessions. 
Marquis de Sade. 
We have seen that the inclination to steal is very strong in 
the child and we assume that a remnant of this inclination 
lies dormant in every human being. Civilization, through 
training, and partly by threats of punishment, endeavors to 
check the cleptomaniac tendency, eventually sublimating it. 
What determines whether an individual should develop his 
cleptomaniacal tendency further and become a thief or whether 
he wholly overcomes that tendency or-to take the third pos- 
sibility into account-gives expression to that tendency in a 
parapathiac state of mind ? 
The motive for stealing in the case of the habitual thief 
is the acquisition of money by the shortest path and without 
labor. There are but three ways of acquiring material pos- 
sessions : by inheritance, as a free gift, or by earning it through 
some socially useful labor. The thief avoids labor. Accord- 
ing to my professional observations this avoidance of work 
in itself is a morbid propensity and it is due largely to the 
inclination to indulge unduly in day dreaming. Unfortunately 
I have no analytic experience with habitual thiefs of the crim- 
inal type. But I assume that every criminal, except victims 
of degeneracy or of psychopathic inferiority, is an educational 
problem and a product of parapathy. Future research will 
bring this out more clearly. 
The act of stealing brings no joy to the thief. The stolen 
object does. The joy engendered by the deed stands in direct 
relationship to the value of the stolen article. The clepto- 
maniac, on the other hand, steals for the sake of stealing. 
257 258 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
He craves the excitation of carrying out the outlawed deed. 
The thief proceeds with calm deliberation. He weighs the 
chances, appraises the possible gain, and may ruminate over 
the plan for months before proceeding to the deed. The true 
thief cannot afford to be emotional. He needs to be quiet, 
careful. He must remain cool. 
The cleptomaniac at work is in the midst of an emotional 
spree. He is in a peculiar dreamy state of mind, not unlike 
sleep walking. He is restless, tortured by feelings of anxiety, 
he feels that something is about to happen as Hesse so clearly 
expressed it, he needs an explosion (Gross), he must get rid 
of that emotional tension by doing something. He stands 
either under the influence of an impulse which holds momen- 
tary sway over him or of a continuous impulse of the same 
character. The cleptomaniac's theft is an impulsive deed; 
the thief's action is also instinct-behaviour but it stands under 
the control of the intellect. In the cleptomaniac's case the 
intellect is overshadowed, in the case of the thief the intellect 
stands in the service of the instinctive propensity. The clep- 
tomaniac, too, may figure out the chances of success in ad- 
vance, he may sometimes proceed with great deliberation. But 
the act is always carried out in a dreamy state of mind which 
precludes any judgment. He resembles the typical alcoholic, 
or perhaps one under slight influence of drink. Some measure 
of judgment is possible, but it is shadowy, inhibited. The 
emotional agitation (Affektrausch) amounts to an intoxica- 
tion. The higher intellectual processes are suspended alto- 
gether, or reduced to a minimum, while the emotion is su- 
preme. The consequences and disadvantages, the danger and 
possible unpleasantnesses, are not considered. The world with 
its proscriptions, its laws and punishments, sinks beyond the 
pale of consciousness and the wish or craving to act out the 
overpowering, overwhelming, solitary impulse alone holds 
sway. 
The cleptomaniac, like the child, shows a heightened affec- 
tivity and predisposition to impulsive acts. 
Only through a knowledge of the mental life of the child 
can we understand cleptomania. I shall not pass any judg- 
ment upon the relevance of the theory of monomania, espe- THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
259 
cially since, as we shall see later, there are no isolated mono- 
manias. But there can be no doubt that certain impulsive 
acts seem to center always around the same aim. There are 
habitual fighters, there is dipsomania, pyromania, cleptomania, 
to mention but a few of the best known forms of impulsive 
behaviour. (The impulsive acts of sexual character, i.e., the 
compulsions plainly sexual, I pass over for the present.) But 
it is an open question whether any impulsive acts are other 
than sexual. I mean that in every instance a connection with 
sexuality is traceable. Many of the older writers, belonging 
to the pre-analytic period, have pointed out that women yield 
to the cleptomaniac tendency mostly during the menstrual 
period, or while pregnant. August Wimmer (De la clepto- 
manie au point de vue med. leg., Anales de Psych. No. 3, 
1921), regards cleptomania a pregnancy "pic," likewise Wein- 
berg. We know that the female organism is sexualized during 
menstruation as well as during pregnancy. In that state the 
sexual impulse may be yielded to more readily. Wagner- 
Jauregg (loc. tit.) also emphasizes that among women clep- 
tomania breaks out more frequently at the time of menstrua- 
tion and during the gravid state. Laqueur, who is chiefly con- 
cerned with the store cleptomaniacs, also points out the organic 
background of the tendency, and in many cases he considers 
it an actual sexual toxicosis. He arrives at the following 
conclusions: 
1. Store thefts are very common, and the evil deserves 
public attention inasmuch as children, sometimes on their own 
initiative and again at the instigation of adults, are also among 
the offenders. 
2. It is the duty of the police authorities to watch care- 
fully and protect the stores against these offenders; the open 
display of goods without any compulsion to buy is a strong 
temptation for persons of weak will. This custom should 
be restricted so far as possible. 
3. Whether the lack of self-control, displayed especially 
by women in the presence of tempting goods, is morbid, 
i.e., a compulsion which limits or cancels the subject responsi- 
bility, is for the medical expert to determine. It may be due 
to mental disorder, inborn or acquired feeble-mindedness, in- 260 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
cipient paresis, epilepsy, degeneration, advanced hysteria, or 
neurasthenia. Relatively healthy-minded women may pass 
through occasional periods of giddiness during menstruation, 
in the course of pregnancy or at the climacteric (change of 
life) when they may commit thefts, and such acts must be 
considered morbid. 
4. It is for physicians to determine accurately whether in 
the case of subjects suffering from slight neurasthenia or hys- 
teria, previously healthy, who trespass against property the 
offence is slight, or whether complex motives rooted more 
deeply in their character and in the environment are respon- 
sible for their thefts, which are usually carried out with con- 
siderable deliberation. (Der Warenhausdiebstahl. Karl Mar- 
bold, Halle a. S., 1907.) 
Duboisson 1 has devoted a monograph to an accurate de- 
scription of this form of store cleptomania. According to his 
account the theft is carried out in a state of abstraction, an 
important fact in the psychology of all impulsive acts. The 
following is a case: 
Case 32. Miss H. . . . declares that her trouble dates back to 
her 15th year. Following a terrible disappointment (her mother 
refused consent for her to marry a certain young man) her 
health, theretofore fairly satisfactory, was thoroughly shattered. 
Her menstrual flow, she was in the midst of her catamenial 
period, suddenly stopped and did not return for months; an 
eczematous outbreak also appeared on her skin; she began to 
suffer from headaches and thereafter the headaches accompanied 
her menstrual flow regularly. 
Four years ago-on the occasion of another unpleasant family 
affair-the headaches, chief concern and chief worry of her life, 
returned not only with each menstruation but in the intervals as 
well, and became gradually more intense as well as more frequent. 
The headaches came on suddenly; the pain began at the back of 
the head and spread over the temples. The headache was very 
severe from the beginning and brought the patient to such a state 
of depression that she was aware of nothing but her trouble and 
was apathetic towards her surroundings. In that state of mind 
she was unable to gather her thoughts enough to settle down to 
do the least work, much less to read or write. At the height of THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
261 
her paroxysms of pain she was entirely absent-minded and knew 
neither what she was saying nor what she was doing. These 
crises-for they are veritable crises-usually last several days 
and then little by little disappear altogether. 
Although I did not have the opportunity of witnessing the 
symptoms and sufferings described by Miss H., I do not 
doubt their genuineness for a moment. In the first place 
nothing is more genuine than the picture that she describes 
of these sufferings, which so many women endure and many 
others have endured before her, and have described in similar 
words; moreover, there are reasons why her trouble should 
be genuine. 
Miss H., in fact, is one of those susceptible persons who 
break down on encountering the least moral difficulty in their 
path. She is not without a certain hereditary predisposition; 
her mother died of brain stroke, her father is a nervous man, 
subject to fits of anger and violence. She herself was nervous 
and excitable from her earliest childhood; at ten years of 
age she went through typhus, and that left her more irritable 
than ever. Besides that, she matured very early (at 12 years), 
and her passing through adolescence was not without its diffi- 
culties. I could not be surprised in the least, therefore, at 
the neurotic state into which she emerged as the result of the 
moral shock caused by the breaking up of her marriage plans. 
Since then she is a patient-suffering physically as well 
as morally. We have learned something about the character 
of her headaches, but these spells are but a prominent feature 
of her trouble. In addition to these crises she always com- 
plains of one trouble or another; if it is not her back, it is 
her stomach, if it is not her stomach, it is her joints. Her 
appetite is also gone; and no drug, no dietary prescription, 
is able to overcome the habitual loss of her appetite; she 
suffers also from an equally stubborn sleeplessness. If she 
does occasionally fall asleep, her sleep is restless, disturbed 
by strange dreams and extraordinarily painful emotions. She 
imagines that she is falling into an abyss, or that she must 
exert tremendous efforts to get over some stumblingblock. 
She lost considerable weight during the past few years. 262 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
Such is the appearance of the woman who was caught last 
June in a department store (the Louvre, at Paris) with various 
stolen articles in her possession, including a roll of silk, a 
piece of embroidery, gloves, etc. 
Miss H. explained that she came to Paris last June to consult 
Dr. N., whom she had already previously consulted a number of 
times on account of her state of health. According to her press- 
ing assertion, she suffered at the time such severe headaches that 
her thoughts seemed to turn into chaos, as she herself expressed 
it. For ten days she had not left her hotel room, because she did 
not feel capable of taking a step, and during that time she hardly 
took any nourishment (one egg and a bit of tapioca soup daily). 
On this meager diet she lost ground fast, and finally, at her 
physician's advice, she tried to go out a little. On her first ven- 
ture out of doors she had no luck; on her way she suddenly felt 
ill and found it necessary to take refuge in a drugstore. Several 
days passed after that. The time approached when she had to go 
back to Clermont, where her father was already expecting her 
return; before going back she wanted to attend to a few errands. 
Therefore, on the 17th of June, she went to the Louvre; there 
she first selected a few articles and paid for them; but she tarried 
for a time in the store and "her head began to whirl." Then she 
tried to leave; while passing through the last aisle in the store 
she was no longer aware of what she was doing and in that state 
she took the embroidery and the silk found in her possession. 
The accused woman maintains that she came to herself 
only after she had gone into the open air, and only then 
did she realize what she had done. Her first thought was 
to return the stolen articles to their place, but she did not 
dare do so. 
How, then, did it happen that four days later, on the 21st of 
June, she again went to that store? She herself recognizes that 
this second visit to the store was an imprudent act on her part. 
After knowing to what action her state of physical and mental 
paralysis had led her, she should have refrained, of course, from 
going there again. But she had not completed her shopping and 
the day of her departure was drawing nigh. Moreover, the 
occurrence four days previously, she felt, had put her on her 
guard, and she thought she could exercise proper self-control. THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
263 
Besides, she thought she had grown somewhat stronger and she 
figured that if she went to the store early, before the big crowds 
came along, she would not run the risk of losing her senses as 
she did last time. So she went to the Louvre around ten o'clock 
and attended to her shopping. But this time she again felt her 
mind swaying, and when she resolved to leave the store it was 
too late. She already lacked the power to withstand the cravings 
which were stirring within her. "At that moment," she declares, 
"I felt myself oppressed as by a nightmare. My brain whirled, 
so to speak, without order, and my thoughts were in a turmoil, 
so that I was unable to make them out. I had lost the sense of 
reality, I knew no longer where I was, I felt a terrible dread, 
and drops of perspiration broke out over my forehead." 
A superficial analysis of this case-psychoanalysis, of 
course, is out of the question-impresses us, first of all, with 
the fact that Miss H. committed the theft while away from 
home. We know what a journey to Paris, the city of endless 
possibilities, the modern Babel, means to a provincial French- 
woman.2 She made the journey, obviously, with the secret 
aim or fantasy of meeting Romance. The headaches are 
already a sign of severe repression. She does not want to 
know the real motive that drove her to Paris. She is un- 
married, and probably lacks gratification. She is perhaps 
virgo intacta. A marriage project holds out for her the 
promise of gratifying her cravings through conjugal life. 
But the project fails and that inaugurates her neuropathic 
condition (headaches). She lives in a dream world. In that 
state of mind she enters the store. She herself admits that 
her thoughts were a blank. She is driven by an impulse. 
But she is unable to understand the nature of the impulse 
driving her. That leads to a switching of the impulse and- 
the theft is committed. Her dreams are significant. She falls 
into a deep abyss (falls into sin), she has to overcome tre- 
mendous difficulties (the inhibitions of morality, fear of con- 
sequences, etc.), possible nausea. (She has no appetite and 
has lost weight.) 
Such transposition of the impulses and symbolization of 
real life is possible only during dreamy and allied states of 
consciousness. 264 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
Another patient under Duboisson's care committed the 
thefts while in an epileptic state of abstraction (psycholepsy). 
Formerly these dreamy states of abstraction were considered 
equivalents of epilepsy. But the percentage of epileptics 
among the cleptomaniacs is markedly small; so insignificant, 
in fact, that it may be overlooked. 
Among the victims of mental abstraction, Leppmann finds 
many maniacs and hypomaniacs, degenerates, juvenile psycho- 
paths, as well as hystericals and epileptics, the latter during 
their dreamy phase or in the excited state. But he found 
only one case apparently belonging to the last category, a 
32-year-old woman, the wife of a clerk who probably came 
from an epileptic mother and suffered regularly at the men- 
strual period from fainting spells during which she lost con- 
sciousness and bit her tongue and cheeks. After the spells 
she was restless, excitable, very active and coarse in her atti- 
tude towards her environment. She remembers nothing of 
these episodes, and does not recall an attempt at suicide she 
made once while in that excited state. The spell lasts two or 
three days; it is followed by a marked fatigue, requiring rest 
in bed. During her excitation in the midst of one of these 
episodes she took a few articles of trivial value from a store. 
She was willing to confess; she showed signs of beginning 
Basedow's disease; intelligence clear, no moral defects, mem- 
ory well preserved regarding the details of her act. On Lepp- 
mann's expert testimony she was discharged. 
Leppmann, like Duboisson, has found that the store clep- 
tomaniacs are not always innately pathological subjects in- 
clined to this impulse alone, but that they often belong to 
another category of women. Usually they are female neuras- 
thenics around the age of 30, suffering from chronic nervous 
exhaustion, women who have gone through many pregnancies, 
or diseases, and who are anemic and who suffer from pressure 
over the head, congestions and other vaso-motor disturbances, 
tremor of the limbs, palpitation, etc. They manifest depres- 
sions, irritability and absent-mindedness, dislike of work. All 
give the same excuse: "In the crowd, in the midst of the 
glittering lights, they lost their head and did not quite know 
what they were doing." THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
265 
Leppmann assumes that the stigmata of nervous exhaustion 
have a decisive influence upon the behaviour of such subjects; 
their exhaustion renders their inhibitions against store tempta- 
tions too weak, and may be responsible for sudden, irrepressi- 
ble acts. 
Mendel tries to prove that most of his store clepto- 
maniacs were imbeciles, paralytics or epileptics, an assump- 
tion that is not at all corroborated by my professional ex- 
perience. 
Before going more deeply into the psychology of clepto- 
mania I want to place here on record my earlier experiences. 
I have already indicated them in the Zeitschrift f. Sexualwis- 
senschaft (Oct., 1910) with a short contribution entitled, The 
Sexual Roots of Cleptomania. First I reproduce the essay 
slightly enlarged but otherwise unchanged. 
The problem of cleptomania has already given physicians 
a great deal of concern. Of course in many cases the de- 
termination : theft or cleptomania, crime or disease, is rather 
difficult. The diagnosis of cleptomania was made whenever 
a motive for the deed was lacking and an irresistible com- 
pulsion could be traced. 
It was particularly striking that wealthy women, or at least 
women in comfortable circumstances, were found guilty of 
stealing from the large department stores. Only recently Du- 
boisson has described extensively this form of monomania 
as "magasinitis." Previously Bontemps (Du vol dans les 
grands magasins, Lyon), Lasegue' (Le vol aux etalages} and 
Letulle (Voleuses honettes, Gaz. med. de Paris, 1887, No. 90), 
recorded a series of interesting cases, nearly all disclosing 
practically the same mental mechanism. The women confess 
having been impelled by an irresistible compulsion to appro- 
priate the first article on which they could lay their hands. 
Subsequently some of them display complete amnesia (lack 
of awareness) for the deed; others are tremendously ashamed 
and regret the act; many of them do not touch the stolen 
object afterwards. 
Very interesting is the choice of articles. These are mostly 
trivial: a piece of embroidery, gloves, a memorandum booklet, 266 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
pencils, etc. Some cases disclose a certain superficial moti- 
vation. A well-to-do woman whose child is ill steals a doll. 
That may be a little more intelligible than the Countess who 
stole lace (Letulle). Here is what she declares: "11 m'est 
impossible de dire ce qui s'est passe en moi; la tentation a 
ete plus forte que moi. Je ne sais pas ce qui s'est produit. 
Mais je pris cet objet et je I'ai cache." ["I am unable to 
explain what was going on within me; the temptation was 
stronger than I. How it happened I do not know. But I 
took and hid that article."] 
Many women steal toys for children, especially dolls, a 
fact on which we shall dwell later. The larceny of such 
children's toys as dolls clearly discloses an infantile trait. 
I must also emphasize again that all these larcenies are com- 
mitted during a state of mental abstraction. For the time all 
distinction between fantasy and reality disappears from the 
field of awareness. The cleptomaniac women are addicted 
to day-dreaming. Children yield most readily to the tempta- 
tion. 
It is the temptation to commit a sin. As some of my 
analyses have shown, all these cleptomaniac deeds are trace- 
able to ungratified sexuality. These women struggle with the 
temptation. They are continually at war with their cravings. 
They yearn for their "adequate form of gratification"; they 
are often in search of a childhood impression which they 
desire to live over again. They are ready to indulge in what 
is forbidden. But they lack the power. The larceny is a 
symbolic act for them. It is always a matter of doing some- 
thing forbidden, of taking something that does not belong 
to them. Even the stolen articles have their hidden symbolic 
meaning, as we know well through our dream analyses. The 
countess, for instance, steals a symbolic Spitze, a pencil, or 
a cigarette holder, i.e., a penis. In other cases the article 
stolen is something shiny-an ornament-such as children 
usually like to wear. 
This discovery of the sexual roots of cleptomania I was 
on the point of announcing elsewhere when Freud called my 
attention to Otto Gross's excellent work, Das Freud'sche THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
267 
Ideogenitatsmoment und seine Bedeutung im manisch-depres- 
siven Irresein Kraepelins (Leipzig, F. C. Vogel, 1907). 
That work contains a very careful analysis of a case of 
cleptomania, the subject being a sufferer from manic depres- 
sive insanity. 
Case 33. The patient is a young girl belonging to a healthy 
family; her hereditary history is negative; at seven years of age 
she met with a head injury, later she developed fainting spells and 
periodic depressions, alternating with periods of excitation. 
Subsequently she was tortured by tremendous cleptomaniac com- 
pulsions : "In that state I could not let a thing lie in its place. 
I felt an irrational craving to steal anything. No particular object 
attracted me; I was tempted to steal anything; I had no peace 
until I would take it." 
For the past four years the woman has maintained relations 
with an impotent man ("she could not let a thing lie"). When 
he finally achieved potency and she became pregnant, her clepto- 
maniac impulses cleared away. (It was no longer necessary for 
her to take etwas "Fremdes"-something "not her own"). Some 
of her confessor's questions had particularly roused her; he asked 
her, for example, whether she herself took the male membrum- 
in hand to guide its insertion, and similar questions. 
She stole very many articles of various kinds: stockings, furs, 
gloves, pocket books, arm bands, ring, umbrella, etc. Any one 
familiar with psychoanalysis recognizes at a glance that these 
articles have a high emotional value as symbols. Pocket books, 
ring, arm band, furs, stockings, gloves, are articles having in 
common the feature that something is stuck into them. The 
umbrella is a universal penis symbol because opening the um- 
brella is a reminder of erection. 
In the course of his psychoanalysis of this case Gross at 
once recognized the sexual basis of the cleptomania. The 
patient craved to "do something forbidden" or, expressing the 
matter more plainly, "secretly take hold of something." (In 
this connection, compare the question, during the confessional, 
whether she "took hold of the penis.") Gross relevantly ob- 
serves that the source of the cleptomania stands plainly re- 
vealed : "secretly to take hold of something," is a motive 
common to both,-the sexual wish and the tendency to steal; 268 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
this associative connection is responsible for the shifting of 
the affect-energy from the sexual motive, which conscious- 
ness cannot tolerate at all, to the act of stealing which, in 
thought at least is, characteristically enough, more easily tol- 
erated. Once this shifting of the affect becomes contextually 
fixed the tendency to steal persists as the "symbol" for the 
craving after sexual gratification and eventually it assumes 
the whole affective value, absorbing the whole impulse energy 
which belongs to sexuality. And this displaced affect deter- 
mines the morbid compulsion. 
In his profound study, On Psychopathic Inferiority,3 Gross 
again reverts to cleptomania. Therein he states: 
"Let us choose the most common and most typical form 
of cleptomania, the store larcenies committed by women of 
the better class and which are characterized by the fact that 
the ordinary motives for larceny are either absent or wholly 
disproportionate to the risk incurred; furthermore the deeds 
are committed usually under the control of an irresistible im- 
pulse which asserts itself more or less suddenly and is accom- 
panied by a certain change in the state of consciousness. We 
shall attempt to explain this peculiar impulse in the terms 
of Freud's researches. The impulse involves a definite content 
and we may arrive at that by reducing the content of the 
morbid impulse down to its abstract, universal terms. The 
fundamental motive may be formulated, approximately, as 
follows: 'taking secretly something forbidden.' As a matter 
of fact, this broad motive plays a tremendous role in the 
soul of woman, especially of the woman belonging to the 
better classes,-not, of course, with regard to property, but 
in the realm of the erotic. It is in that connection that the 
pathogenic mechanism begins to operate. . . ." 
Gross overlooks entirely the infantile root of this disorder. 
I, too, had overlooked it in my first essay on the subject.4 
Also the relationship between the dreamy state and the in- 
stinctive reaction was not brought out, and the character of 
cleptomania as a form of sexual infantilism remained un- 
recognized. 
Now we are in a position to give a more succinct account THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
269 
of the mental process involved. The act stands for a "re- 
pressed" sexual wish expressed in the form of a symbol, or 
of a symbolic deed. Every compulsion upon the psychic 
realm originates in repression. 
The relationship between larceny and abnormal sexual life 
has already been pointed out by earlier observers. The fact 
pressed itself to their attention. Larcenies on account of 
fetichistic motives have been described very frequently. Zippe 
(Wiener Med. Wochenschrift, 1879, No. 23) reports the case 
of a baker's apprentice who masturbated excessively since 
his 19th year, and who was in the habit of stealing handker- 
chiefs. Between 80 and 90 handkerchiefs were found in his 
possession. The symbolic significance of this was probably 
the fact that the handkerchief was kept in the pocket and 
used for wiping off the seminal fluid. 
Krafft-Ebing, in his Psychopathia Sexualis (13th edition), 
gives a whole series of pertinent cases. It makes a strange 
collection: a workman who, since his 14th year, steals shoes 
(obs. 79) ; a shoemaker who steals night-caps, garters, and 
women's underwear (obs. 108); a man stealing aprons, his 
dreams largely preoccupied with aprons (obs. m); a mer- 
chant who steals leather gloves (obs. 127); a day laborer 
who stole nearly 100 ladies' handkerchiefs (obs. 235) ; also 
a servant addicted to the same habit (obs. 236). 
Such larcenies disclose their sexual etiology on the surface. 
The stolen article has its value as a sexual fetich, which is 
nothing else than a sexual symbol, fixed through some special 
circumstances. Kersten (Arch. f. Kriminal-Anthropol., 1906, 
Vol. XXV) gives the clinical history of a workman (quarry- 
man) who stole a woman's dress and after putting it on 
had intercourse with his wife. He was unable to have inter- 
course unless he first put on a petticoat.5 
But women sometimes display another, an opposite deter- 
minant. They often put aside the stolen article and do not 
dare touch it. Ladame has reported such a case (Observa- 
tions de soi-disant Cleptonianie d'un Cos d'une Psychasthe- 
niqzte, Korrespondenzbl. f. Schweizer Aerzte, 1902, p. 102). 
A castrated woman, a widow, suffered from anxiety neurosis 
(feeling of exhaustion, sleeplessness, etc.). Great dread, just 270 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
before committing a larceny, followed each time by tremen- 
dous regrets. She did not dare touch the stolen objects 
afterwards. She acted as if it involved the touching of the 
genitalia. 
I now place on record a few original observations of gen- 
uine cleptomania. These are not true fetichists, but para- 
pa thiacs carrying out a symbolic (forbidden) act merely on 
account of their ungratified sexuality. 
Case 34. A woman, aet. 45, in the climacteric, very attractive 
and well preserved, chaperones her four daughters to a ball. 
Just before leaving the house she meets with an unpleasant acci- 
dent. Her husband absent-mindedly burned a hole in her petti- 
coat with his cigar. She scolds him for it. 
She then goes to the ball and there, around midnight, a woman 
accuses her of stealing a costly embroidered wrap. She claims 
she found the wrap; but a few witnesses deny that. The matter 
is peacefully adjusted.6 
Shortly after this incident she lapses into a severe depression 
during which her mind is seriously tortured by a certain re- 
proach. The reason for the reproach she explains as follows: 
"I feel badly because I did not give my daughter away in mar- 
riage long before this time. The apparent justification for this 
self-reproach lies in the fact that four years previously her 
youngest daughter had a chance to marry a very wealthy man; 
but the mother refused to grant her consent on the ground that 
the girl was too young. 
Thus far everything seemed logical enough. But back of the 
self-reproach there lurked another motive which was brought 
plainly to light only through the analysis. Her husband has been 
completely impotent for the past ten years. She has always been 
a passionate woman and very receptive. She did not lack ad- 
mirers but did not have the courage to sin. She is very pious 
and regards marriage as sacred. 
On the day when she committed the larceny she had been 
under tremendous sexual excitement, as usual, when menstruat- 
ing. The lit cigar which burned a hole in her dress reminded 
her of the times when her husband was still young and fiery. 
(Cp- Krafft-Ebing, Obs. 35: a merchant, 29 years of age, who 
induced orgasm in himself by burning with the tip of his cigarette 
the clothes of the women who passed by.) THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
271 
She manifested considerable resistance against the analysis. 
In such cases I resort to the device fully described in my work, 
Nervous Anxiety States and Their Treatment.1 I ask her to 
react by giving me the first words that happen to come to her 
mind. 
She gives the following words: "Cigar-candle-candy store- 
rebirth-boot jack-street car-stone-lamp-flowers-box-vio- 
lin-artist." 
Next I request her to form a sentence around each of these 
words. The following sentences are formed and I append 
to each the psychologic interpretation, leaving out the inter- 
mediary material (as too detailed). 
The cigar is out. Her husband's impotence. 
The candle is burnt out. Ibid. 
In the candy store one buys sweets: she is fond of delicacies, 
and would gladly secure forbidden sexual enjoyments. Geschdft, 
store, symbol for vagina. 
I should be glad to experience a rebirth: She explains this 
sentence with the statement that if she were again young she 
would be wiser this time.8 
The boot jack is an abominable tool: Her husband uses a boot- 
jack. 
I like to ride on the street car (electric) ; the electric has two 
compartments: Two husbands, but that would be a crime, for 
which she might be arrested. 
The criminals are sent to Stein: (Stein, a prison near Vienna). 
I like to pluck flowers. 
No one looks at an "old box." 
I like to hear violins. 
The player must be an artist. 
And now I find out that the last man who had paid par- 
ticular attention to her was a violinist. This led to a little 
flirting but she stopped short of any regrettable developments. 
Another symptom which arose during her depression de- 
serves particular mention. She thought she was getting poor 
and became thrifty. That was only in part true. Also, she 
spoke of starting "a new business," to earn money. This 
wish, too, has its hidden sexual meaning. She wanted to 272 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
exploit her beauty for the purpose of earning money. That 
is the typical prostitution fantasy, frequently found among 
parapathiac women. Thus all the symptoms clear up easily 
through the discovery of the subterranean, suppressed libido 
trends. The larceny was a crime which met with lesser 
psychic resistance. It stood for the symbolic representation 
of falling into sin and at the same time she preserved her 
sexual purity.8 
Two factors are significant in this case: at the time of 
committing the larceny the patient was menstruating; and 
shortly thereafter she fell into a severe depression. The clep- 
tomaniac act is often preceded by depression, as Janet has 
already pointed out. Some of Janet's cases will be quoted 
in our next chapter. 
The depression is the reaction to an unfulfillable sexual 
aim. {"Die Depression ist die Tugend, die darubcr weint, 
dass sie nicht das Laster ist."-"Depression is virtue deplor- 
ing that it is not vice.") We must bear in mind that normal 
heterosexual longing is not the only determinant leading to 
cleptomania. In many cases its background is furnished by 
the fixed sexual ideal, some childhood episode craving to be 
lived over; in short, it is a matter of "the adequate sexual 
gratification"-a point which I did not sufficiently stress in 
the first draft of my contribution on this subject. The homo- 
sexual tendencies also lead to impulsive acts, and often betray 
themselves under the form of severe depressions. 
Knowledge of sexual symbolism furnishes the key to the 
understanding of cleptomania, perhaps of all monomanias. 
Before proceeding with my own cases I want to analyze a 
few observations which we owe to other investigators. 
Case 35. Didier {Kleptomanie und Hypnotherapie, Halle a 
S., 1896) writes about a young man who was a fine, diligent 
scholar up to his 15th year. Then the boy suddenly grew morose, 
apathetic, unable to study. (Such change usually takes place 
whenever the sexual cravings grow irresistible and no outlet is 
available for them.) The boy committed several larcenies. He 
had already stolen in his 4th year (the period of the first infan- 
tile sexual awakening). He broke open his principal's desk 
drawer. Complete cure through hypnotherapy. Didier, rele- THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
273 
vantly enough, traces the cleptomania to a background of hys- 
teria. We owe to Freud the correct understanding of these 
hysterical manifestations. We know already the relationship of 
these symptoms to the unconscious mental life. They are hys- 
terical symbolic acts. The breaking open of the drawer was the 
symbolic representation of a sexual deed. 
Case 36. Another observation by Lasegue. (Le vol aux 
etalages. Arch, generales de Medecine, 1880). A woman, 25 
years of age, goes into a store to buy gloves and an umbrella. 
She steals a necktie and a bottle of perfume. For a number of 
years she lived apart from her husband and is abstinent. She 
shows the typical symptoms of anxiety neurosis with hysterical 
infusion. She suffers from "sweet fainting" attacks, choking 
spells, and episodes of dread. Sometimes she has cramps in her 
throat which are so severe that she is unable to swallow food. 
She describes her spells as follows: Ma tete se brouille; j'ai un 
pen I'esprit, qui n'est pas clair, la tete se charge, le coeur se bat\ 
les idees se confondent; il me reste pendant quelques jours de 
I' etonnement et de la fatigue, ptiis tout se remet" (My head is 
burning; my mind is not clear, my head feels heavy, my heart 
beats fast, my mind is confused; for a few days I am dazed and 
tired out, then gradually everything recedes.) 
Her defence is that she wanted to exchange her umbrella 
and meanwhile she had gone to look for a ring which she 
thought she had lost. This is a symbolic representation of 
the wish to be rid of her husband, who was a rough individual 
and a drinker, and to buy a new ring, secure another man 
(umbrella) for herself. The gloves are a symbolic repre- 
sentation of the condom ("Love glove," its English colloquial 
name). 
Case 37. Mrs. X., 36 years of age, lives almost continually 
an abstinent existence on account of her husband's frequent 
absences from home. For the past few years she suffered from 
curious nightly spells. A deep unrest comes over her, and she 
grows very excitable. Spells of pavor nocturnus (nocturnal 
frights). She jumps out of bed, opens and shuts the doors, 
shouts, runs as if pursued,-falls asleep, if at all, only towards 
morning. For the past two years she suffers from dizziness. 274 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
(The meaning of this symptom, and of the shutting of doors, is 
explained at length in my work, Nervous Anxiety States and 
their Treatment (3rd ed.) She is caught in a store stealing a 
number of trivial articles, including two Spitsen (pieces of em- 
broidery), and a pair of gloves, also a little note book. The 
booklet10 distinctly discloses a prostitution trend. 
Case 38. A 26-year-old woman, unmarried, and living absti- 
nently, steals some pencils in a store. She is absent-minded, 
unable to do any work. Her only statement is that her father 
was too strict with her. This girl was symbolically searching for 
a phallus (pencil). 
Placzek traces the sexual root of cleptomania in the follow- 
ing case: 
Case 39. The 29-year-old daughter of a factory owner, with 
a positive hereditary history, distinguished herself since early 
childhood by her lively fantasy. She played for hours with the 
objects that took her fancy. Later, in school, she proves a liar; 
tells her friends, and writes them, of things that never took 
place: of Summer resorts, and prominent hotels in which she had 
never been; of prominent persons whom she had never met; of 
wonderful dinners, giving most minute details, which were never 
given. She tells her mother about a wonderful holiday evening 
she spent with a friend, describing minutely every detail of the 
occasion, when as a matter of fact she had been at home and 
alone that evening. Her sister one day received from her con- 
dolences on the heroic death of her gallant young man, when 
she was not even engaged. From a dentist, whom she had 
engaged at another distant place, her mother received the bills 
for services rendered to Fraulein von , with the correct ad- 
dress. On a journey the daughter makes the acquaintance of 
Freiherr von O., an army officer, who is apparently interested in 
her. Shortly thereafter he falls on the battlefield. One day 
when Miss X. was in B., she tells her mother with great par- 
ticularity how she was met by the officer's parents and how they 
entertained her. She tells about the four sons of the family lost 
in the war, describes how the old man suffered a stroke, so that 
she was constantly taking care of him, and describes a journey 
to the son's grave. Afterwards everything she told proves mere 
fabrication. This talented woman of better standing, and in THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
275 
comfortable circumstances, goes repeatedly through jewelers' 
shops under the name of Countess B., steals various articles, 
sells them, and with the proceeds buys trivial things. These 
deeds she carries out impulsively, remembers them very well 
afterwards, but is helpless, knowing only that she "felt like a 
Countess." 
Careful examination disclosed psychopathic degeneration 
with intellectual and moral defect and serious hysteria devel- 
oped upon that background. Even the physical stigmata of 
hysteria are present. And the probable cause of the hysterical 
transformation? The repression of sexuality, the latter en- 
deavoring to express itself in the various compulsive and 
instinctive reactions, as a substitute. 
This conclusion was surprisingly corroborated when the 
patient, while awaiting a verdict, shortly after the offence, 
carried out another, similar larceny. (Das Geschlechtsleben 
der Hysterischen, 2 Auflage, Bonn, 1922, A. Marcus & Webers 
Verlag, p. 85.) 
Most of these cases of cleptomania, like all parapathiacs, 
show strong homosexual components. This homosexual trait 
is particularly striking in the following case reported by Dr. 
Chlumsky (Vierteljahrsschr. f. gerichtl. Medizin, 1892, Vol. 
IV. Diebstahl bei erworbenem Schwachsinn). 
Case 40. A servant girl, suffering from strong excitation dur- 
ing her menses, sleeps with her mistress in one room. She begs 
the mistress to allow her to sleep alone in the hall; the room, she 
claimed, was too warm for her. In the night she fell out of bed 
twice on account of exciting dreams. From the mistress's ward- 
robe she stole a Spieldose (a music box), and played it clandes- 
tinely. (Obvious homosexual wish to play with the woman's 
genitalia.) Her coats, jackets and blouses she stretched on an 
unused bed belonging to the mistress. She is forgetful, absent- 
minded, always immersed in day dreams. One night she ab- 
stracted the key from under the woman's pillow and opened a 
drawer. She broke a window pane and told afterwards that a 
couple of men had been inside and had tried to strangle her. 
Case 41. During the last few weeks the newspapers of Vi- 
enna related the strange story of a wealthy woman who stole a 276 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
number of towels at a bath house and was taken to court. She 
was caught in the act of hiding one of the towels in her stocking. 
Other stolen towels were found in searching her home. Each 
one had a hole where the identification mark should be. The 
manner and place of hiding the stolen article discloses the sexual 
etiology of this monomania. 
In a similar case I have traced the fact that the woman 
had gone through an operation for intestinal rupture. 
(Geflicktes Loch, torn hole.) 
The following two observations we owe to Dr. Oskar 
Pfister:11 
Case 42. A 17-year-old apprentice feels a tremendous com- 
pulsion to steal a bicycle tire from the store although he has no 
bicycle and his theft would be easily traced. After considerable 
inner struggle he yields to the temptation. He steals the article, 
plays with it for a while, greatly excited, and then presents it 
indifferently to a friend. He is discharged. He is overwhelmed 
with self-reproaches; because he carried out the misdeed against 
his better judgment and also because he caught his father in 
something unspeakable, he imagines that he is a born criminal. 
Other emotional difficulties set in, sleeplessness interfered with 
the attainment of calm and, for a time, he was not a little de- 
spondent. The theft against his will repressed the boy's mas- 
turbation and served as a symbolic phantom to express his hidden 
evil cravings. 
Case 43. The female counterpart of the above-mentioned 
male symbol roused another of my pupils. In broad daylight, in 
front of a butcher's window, this 18-year-old boy unscrewed from 
a bicycle the clamp into which the air pump is«ad justed, unmind- 
ful of the great chances he risked of being caught in the act. 
The boy, who belonged to a prominent family in comfortable 
circumstances, was actually caught. Shortly before that he had 
tried to watch his mother in the bathroom. 
Distinctly unique for its self-evident clarity is Forsterling's 
case (Genese einer Sexuellen Abnormitat bei einem Faile von 
Stehltrieb, Allg. Zeitschrift f. Psychiatric, Vol. LXIV, p 
935): THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
277 
Case 44. A 46-year-old seamstress, single, after 10 years of 
prison life, stole several articles, a Wurst, a teakettle, a bottle of 
liquor, and a box of sardines. She was a pious woman, but help- 
less about her thefts. She explained that it was a hereditary 
trait, because her mother stole while carrying her. She was a 
victim of those "sweet fainting" spells which I have described in 
my Nervous Anxiety States as the equivalent of anxiety attacks. 
A sudden pleasant weakness would come over her,-it was a 
blessed experience, an inexpressibly sweet feeling. It made her 
turn white. She had various compulsive mannerisms, for in- 
stance, opening and shutting the doors. (Symbolic representa- 
tion of coitus.) 
The observation is particularly interesting because this 
woman distinctly experienced great libido during the act of 
stealing. On certain days she stole from many stores with- 
out experiencing that feeling of relief and satisfaction which 
eventually culminated in a sense of complete gratification; 
on such occasions she rushed from store to store and kept 
on stealing, until the acquisition of some particular article 
brought on the yearned gratification. 
She thus displays the typical manifestations of anxiety 
neurosis following sexual abstinence; anxiety, heaviness over 
the chest, perspiration. She also implored God to keep her 
from stealing; but nothing helped. Stealing induced in her 
the same full orgasm as normal intercourse. 
Even as a child she found great zest in stealing. She ex- 
perienced orgasm for the first time while her mother beat her 
over the nates in punishment. For a long time thereafter 
her fantasy was preoccupied with this experience. Her own 
account of her feelings preceding the cleptomaniac act reads 
like a lover's description of sexual aggression: one day she 
felt very badly, a strange uneasiness around her heart, she 
found no peace anywhere, waves of heat came over her head, 
also a sense of tightness around her throat. "I felt as if my 
end was near!" She could but weep a great deal, and was 
unable to speak out her heart; she could hardly say a word. 
This state of feelings persisted until the following day; she 
was unable to sleep and prayed zealously. Next morning 
her condition grew worse so that it drove her out of the 278 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
house. Then nothing could prevent it any longer: she had 
to steal. Her state of mind was one of anxious expectation, 
not unlike that preceding sexual gratification. Freud very 
appropriately would call it fore-pleasure. Once she was caught 
in the act and beaten. The blows induced orgasm in her. 
After that incident she experienced gratification whenever she 
was caught. The experience of being caught, that mixed 
feeling of dread and oppression, awakens in her the keenest 
sexual pleasure. She dreams of normal coitus as well as of 
her larcenies, with orgasm. 
The fundamental feature of this cleptomania is the pro- 
nounced masochism. Obviously, one of the motives of her 
cleptomania is the unconscious wish to be beaten by the mother. 
Certain misdeeds on the part of children lead to punishment. 
That the punishment may be a source of pleasure is a fact 
frequently corroborated by the professional experience of the 
analysts. Often patients, both male and female, after listen- 
ing to my severe lecturing, declare: "You do not know how 
much good your strict words have done me! You are rightly 
severe with me." It is a well-known fact that physicians who 
are strict with their patients are more popular than the easy- 
going ones. Cleptomania is also a round-about way of reach- 
ing out for punishment. This feature is strongly brought 
out in Zingerle's case referred to below. 
Cleptomania bears certain relations to masochism. That is 
the reason why certain parapathiacs confess thefts and even 
murders of which they are not guilty, an occurrence that 
would otherwise remain unintelligible. These individuals are 
impelled to act thus by the desire to suffer punishment. Every- 
body knows that certain unruly children provoke punishments 
because such experiences are a source of pleasure to them. 
Paternal anger sometimes acts as a sexual stimulant to chil- 
dren. 
Case 45. Zingerle (Jahrb. f. Psych, u. Neurol., 1900) reports 
the following interesting case: 
The wife of a clerk, 21 years of age, is brought to Court on 
account of habitual larceny. Even as a child she stole money THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
279 
from her parents. She was anesthetic in conjugal relations (this 
is very often the case in infantilism). Her larcenies, since her 
marriage, amounted to 200 in number. She suffers from various 
anxiety symptoms and fixed ideas. She is particularly attracted 
by objects made of brown leather (brown shoes), and umbrellas 
(black color) ; at home she stole money for church offerings; at 
school she took steel pens to throw into the water closet. 
Her pleasure she finds in the act of stealing, not in keeping 
the stolen article. During her larcenies she experiences a 
distinct pleasurable feeling around her genitalia. When an 
article catches her eye, she goes into the store and says things 
which she does not remember afterwards (dreamy state!). 
All she craves is to take hold of the desired article. Once 
the article is in her possession, she retires to the first fine 
house; there she examines the object and while so doing she 
experiences strong sexual excitation with profuse secretion. 
Thereafter she feels exhausted so that she must go home and 
lie in bed. If she does not succeed in carrying out the desired 
larceny she at least steals something from her husband. At 
the time of menstruation the craving to steal is strongest. 
She dislikes an article after it is stolen; the sight of it rouses 
disgust in her. She finds gratification in taking, not in pos- 
sessing things; and articles secured without fear or danger 
bring her no satisfaction. 
If her husband becomes angry or mistreats her, she is 
plunged thereby into high sexual ecstasy (father-imago!). 
Only after her husband began scolding her and swearing un- 
gratefully at her did she realize that what she needed was a 
strong man to fight for his love. Her libido thus awoke and 
she was no longer frigid during her husband's sexual em- 
brace. She became sexually very avid and wanted sexual 
intercourse several times daily. At the clinic where she was 
brought a number of times, she behaved like a child: stubborn, 
curious, talkative; she read her husband's love letters to other 
patients and was extremely absent-minded. With the awak- 
ening of her libido during sexual intercourse and the con- 
sequent disappearance of her sexual anesthesia her larcenies 
ceased. 
Zingerle emphasizes also her tendency to merge into dreamy 280 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
states. "She goes easily into abnormal states of mind resem- 
bling hypnotic sleep (by staring steadily at an object while 
highly excited)." 
This staring at shiny objects is an infantile reminiscence. 
Children are quieted when their attention is attracted by a 
watch or some other shiny article. Perhaps hypnosis induced 
by such means depends on an infantile reversion. When she 
looks in the shop windows she stares likewise at the articles 
which she desires to purloin, thus rousing her sexual ex- 
citation to the highest pitch; in that state she says things 
she does not remember afterwards. She goes through a 
similar state of mind during her sexual ecstasy accompanying 
coitus. 
Sadism also has its bearings on cleptomania. Many clepto- 
maniacs are pleased that their larcenies cause pain to some 
love objective of theirs. (Chapter X contains an extended 
analysis of such a cleptomaniac.) Sadistic motives lead either 
to the theft of precious objects, on which the owner's heart is 
set, or to the purloining of worthless articles which have only 
an emotional value for the owner. The relations between 
sadism and cleptomania are brought out in the following pas- 
sages culled from the writings of Marquis de Sade by Dr. 
Anton Missriegler: 
Cleptomaniac Types in Marquis de Sade 
Madame Desroches, going to Justine's room, opens the cabinet 
during the latter's absence, and steals the petty possessions, in- 
toxicated with the pleasing thought that she will thus have the 
girl entirely at her mercy. Justine I, 20. 
D'Esterval, owner of a lonely hut, robs his visitors and tells 
them beforehand in what bestial manner he proposes to slay 
them. Justine III, 100. 
Old Verneuil's form of sexual indulgence is to pay rich women 
and to rob the poor women. Justine III, 290. 
At Lyons Justine comes across a woman beggar who steals her 
purse. Justine IV, 100. 
The Dubois woman endeavors to prevail upon Justine to rob 
a certain young man. Justine IV. THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
281 
The prison warden at Lyons allows Justine to make good her 
escape after she first committed a theft at his command. Justine 
IV, 340. 
At the brothel, Juliette has a little friend, the 16-year-old 
whore, Fatime, who "specializes" in robbmg the customers. She 
has also her cadet, Dorval, a famous thief, who is informed by 
his spies of the arrival of all strangers to Paris. His sexual 
gratification consists of secretly looking on while the victims are 
robbed; that brings him to a high pitch of excitation. He is 
already the owner of 30 houses. Once Juliette and Fatime had to 
get Scheffner and Conrad, a couple of German fellows, drunk, 
rob them, and throw them out, naked, on a dark alley. Dorval 
even formulated a philosophical justification for robbery, which 
he calls the "pierre angulaire de la societe." Force was the first 
cause of robbery, the strong always rob the weak. It is nature's 
way. Now all robbery is carried out juridiquement, in ways that 
are legal. The court steals because the administration of justice 
is costly, even though justice is said to have no price. The priest 
or minister who sets himself up as a middleman between man 
and the Creator does the same; also the merchants; also the 
rulers with their taxes. It is done everywhere, as he specifically 
points out; in France, under Louis XIV, the people paid 750 mil- 
lions yearly. Only 250 millions of it reached the State treasury; 
the other 500 millions were stolen. Juliette I, 193. 
Noirceuil is delighted at the thought of having robbed Juliette's 
father of all his fortune, although he had as good an opportunity 
of doubling it. Juliette I, 315. 
Juliette steals from the decrepit Mondor 60,000 francs, but 
upon her return to Noirceuil's house she, in turn, is robbed by 
the latter. Juliette I, 290. 
She also robs Dendemar of a large sum during an orgy. Juli- 
ette, I, 344. 
Minister Saint-Fond was a grand style thief; for instance, he 
said: "The statesman who does not let the Country pay for his 
fun is a fool. ... If I thought that gold is flowing through men's 
veins, I would bleed them one after another so as to drink their 
blood." Juliette II, 37. 
Cheating at games whereby Juliette and Sbrigani steal enor- 
mous sums from the nobility at Turin, gives her as much pleas- 
urable excitation as stealing. Juliette IV, 20. 
Juliette robs Minotti, the man-eating monster, of his treasures. 
Juliette IV, 17. 282 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
Juliette on meeting the Pope, in the great gallery, for sexual 
purposes, robs him. Juliette V, I ffl. 
Brisa-Testa, the highwayman, finds stealing and robbing more 
enticing than mere monetary gain. Juliette V, 206. 
Juliette, before throwing Olympia's clothes after her into the 
mouth of the Vesuvius crater, takes off all her jewels. Juliette, 
VI, 36. 
Queen Caroline of Naples concludes the following agreement 
with Juliette: "I shall steal from my husband all his valuables 
to give to the one who will furnish me with the necessary poison 
to dispatch him to the other world." When Juliette has the 
treasures in hand she denounces the queen and flees with the 
money. Juliette VI. 
Cordelli, the merchant, is poisoned and his fabulous posses- 
sions are stolen by Juliette and Durand. Juliette VI, 140. 
Zanetti is plainly a victim of cleptomania and takes greatest 
pleasure in stealing. Juliette VI, 156. 
In addition to that there are swarms of robbers and thieves 
among de Sade's secondary characters. 
Case 46. An interesting case of cleptomania has been re- 
ported by Dr. O. Juliusburger before the Psychiatric Society of 
Berlin. A woman, 22 years of age, suffered from an irresistible 
urge to steal jewels, precious stones, and rings. She was brought 
to Court for larceny. After yielding to a man who promised to 
give her a diamond ring she robbed him. As a child she was 
already obsessed by the desire to wear ornaments. That impulse 
had a remarkable infantile root. At five years of age she was 
seduced by a woman who wore long gold earrings and rings on 
her fingers. At six years of age a workingman enticed her by 
showing her his watch and handled her genitalia. "As far back 
as I can recall," the patient confesses, "I have always felt sexual 
excitation whenever relatives promised me jewels of stone, or 
gold, and I have always had the same feeling on looking at 
these objects in jewelers' windows; I also liked the feel of 
money. I always changed large into small coins in order to 
have a handful of money; my desire was to possess, not to spend, 
the money; the feel of the money in my hand roused me sensually. 
As a child I was fond of taking to bed with me any stones, gold, 
or jewels in my possession." THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
283 
Juliusburger treated the patient psychoanalytically, as he 
calls it, by Bezzola's method (Jour. f. Psych, u. Neurol., Vol. 
VIII, 1907). As a matter of accurate record I must mention 
here that this method has been fully described by Freud in 
his Studies of Hysteria. The recall of the episodes when she 
appropriated jewels, it turned out, induced "veritable sexual 
passion." The account of this interesting case has appeared 
in the Allgemeine Zeitschrift f. Psychiatrie (Vol. LXIV, 
p. 1002). 
All these cases show us strongly sexed, ungratified, women 
who lack either the courage or the opportunity of gratifying 
their sexual urge. The theft stands for the forbidden deed 
which they feel impelled to carry out. There is a transposition 
of the affects from the sexual to the criminal realm. 
The very common thefts by children are explainable in 
the same remarkable way. As I have already stated, very 
many children are addicted to the habit of stealing. All 
the cases which have come to my attention were children 
who had been sexually roused at a very early age and who 
had prematurely developed forbidden cravings. Unfortu- 
nately the sexual life of the child is a theme but very little 
known. Physicians and educators need proper information 
on this subject. During the earliest years the child's sexual 
excitation manifests itself in the sudden development of shame, 
blushing, stammering, pavor nocturnus, various forms of 
anxiety, vomiting, diarrhoea, tongue sucking, facial tics, bed 
wetting, fits of anger, sleeplessness, endless questioning, mood- 
iness, and in an irritability, or restlessness, which may lead 
to choreatic tics. 
Older children, around the age of puberty, grow distracted, 
unable to concentrate their mind, inattentive at home or school, 
moody, and lag behind in their school work. Often they avoid 
company, become shy and blush easily. 
During that stage the condition leads here and there to 
symptomatic acts which are then thought to indicate wrong 
character traits. Many a boy expelled from high school for 
theft may have acted through unconscious sexual motives and 284 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
is thus branded a hopeless character. Boys may be led into 
the path of crime by such harsh judgments. Others, more 
fortunate in the treatment they receive, grow to display in 
later life a very keen sense of justice. Virtue is sometimes 
generated only through overcompensating a repressed undesira- 
ble trait. It is high time that educators and physicians pay 
greater attention to these manifestations of infantile sexuality. 
(Interesting observations on this point may be found in my 
work, Nervous Anxiety States, Chapter 15, The Anxiety 
Neurosis of Children; also in the chapters on Sexual Life of 
the Child and Mental Life of the Child in my work entitled, 
Psycho-Sexual Infantilism.) 
Case 47. A painter under my treatment for anxiety hysteria, 
a man of high intellectual and social standing, has committed 
thefts three times in his life. The first time he stole a gold 
watch from a servant girl at home, sold it, and he squandered 
the proceeds in one day. The analysis showed that this boy had 
been brought up unwisely by his parents. For years he not only 
watched his parents in the sexual act but has even found it possi- 
ble to watch them carry out various paraphilias, such as cun- 
nilingus. One evening he saw his father kiss the servant girl. 
He was 12 years at the time, and already inordinately addicted to 
the masturbation habit. Having noticed the relationship between 
the two, he did not fail to observe also that his father sought 
every chance of being alone with the pretty girl. One evening, 
while the two were locked up in his father's room, he searched 
the girl's trunk, found there the gold watch, and at once ran off 
with it. There were a number of motives back of this deed. 
He was furious, and jealous of the girl,-and he took possession 
of her watch which, again, was but a symbol of her genitalia. 
This symbol is very commonly met in dreams; the form of the 
watch obviously furnishes the associative link.12 
The girl was greatly distressed when she discovered the theft. 
Her distress caused him regrets; but at the same time he experi- 
enced a sadistic joy at the thought that he was resourceful 
enough to make her feel his power, and to cause her to suffer. 
As a grown up man he visited a married friend of whose wife 
he was tremendously fond. On leaving he saw a sea shell in the 
hall. Immediately he took it and left in a hurry. At home he 
gazed at it for hours, touched it all over and finally he gave it to THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
285 
a young girl on the street. The shell bears the same symbolic 
meaning as watch and box, the third symbolic article which he 
appropriated. Under similar circumstances he once stole an 
opera glass, because the cover of it attracted him very much. 
The lady, whose husband was his pupil, had wonderful "peepers" 
The stealing of watches discloses such a pronouncedly mor- 
bid monomaniac trait I am surprised that psychiatrists have 
not discovered the obvious relationships long ago. 
Thus Sommer (Diagnostik der Geistesschwachheiten, Ur- 
ban & Schwarzenberg, Wien, 1901) reports an interesting 
case of "general mild feeble-mindedness," a boy who since 
childhood showed a marked weakness for watches. The 
patient was addicted to various compulsions. One of them 
brought him into conflict with the law: the stealing of watches. 
All his thoughts centered on watches, which he loved to take 
in hand, touch all over, hold to the ear, etc.13 
Case 48. A third case of cleptomania, of my own observa- 
tion, I shall describe here very briefly: The patient is an artist, 
a man of high standing, prominent in philanthropic work. Al- 
ready as a child he stole repeatedly a number of worthless arti- 
cles, being led by an irresistible impulse: from a merchant he 
stole a cake of soap bearing a pretty woman's picture on the 
wrapper; from a woman who called to visit his mother, a glove; 
from his father's pocket, some money which he forthwith gave 
away to a boy; from his sister's library, books which he sold; 
from a baker's window, a cake which he gave away to a beggar. 
These thefts occurred between his sixth and seventh year. 
Then there followed a period of great piety. He regretted his 
sins, resolved to be a good and true man and, excepting a few 
erotic escapades, he succeeded in living up to that resolution. 
He backslid once very seriously and that is what brought 
him to me for treatment. He became acquainted with a servant 
girl, and fell passionately in love with her. But he had gone 
through such bitter experiences that he did not dare indulge 
his instincts. Moreover, he had promised his wife never again 
to be untrue to her. He made an appointment with the girl for 
Sunday. He was to meet her at a certain place in the afternoon 
and go on an outing with her. He fought within himself for 286 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
a long time and finally he resolved to give up the appointment 
and instead go to his wife who was at the Country place. Im- 
mediately he went to the station. No one happened to be at the 
ticket seller's window. But a little purse was lying there. An 
irresistible impulse came over him. He grabbed the purse and 
quickly hid it in his pocket. Then he hurried to the wash room. 
There he emptied the contents into his pocket. A note showed 
that the stolen purse belonged to a woman of the servant girl 
class. He threw the purse away. 
Then he returned to the waiting room with his mind in a 
dream-like state. There he saw a servant girl looking around 
and talking to a watchman. It did not affect him at all. . . . 
Next day he regretted the incident, felt terribly depressed 
over it and wanted to make good. He read all the papers, and 
even inserted an advertisement in several newspapers. It was all 
in vain. He could not trace the servant girl. That experience 
ushered in his severe depression. 
Need I trace this occurrence from its symbolic form back 
again to his repressed wishes and thoughts? I believe the 
meaning is plain to all readers. 
Particularly interesting are the partial, or thwarted theft 
impulsions. The chief feature of stealing, as Otto Gross has 
shown, is the "taking hold of"; the hand acting out its role 
as the organ of acquisition. But often the impulse is arrested 
midway and leads only to a touching of the desired object. 
Patients who suffer from the impulsion of touching things 
(folie de toucher) are relatively common. They touch every- 
thing. This desire is a primal reaction. There are persons 
unable to give up this evil habit. Therefore museums and 
exhibitions frequently display the warning: "Touching any 
of the articles is forbidden!" This impulsion, as a rule, has 
a sexual basis; it is traceable to the impulse to touch another's 
genitalia or (in the masturbator's case) one's own. Occasion- 
ally the impulse is to take things into the mouth, i.e., to handle 
objects precisely as little children do. 
Instead of stealing the impulse may lead to inordinate 
buying (oniomania). The following excellent analysis by 
one of my assistants, Hilda Milko, yields a deep insight into 
the psychogenesis of this "forme fruste" of cleptomania. This THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
287 
clinical history at the same time constitutes an important 
contribution to the psychogenesis of a functional sex disorder 
in woman (dyspareunia). It discloses a mass of dreams and 
educational errors, such as we seldom have the opportunity 
of observing in this form. 
Case 49. Mrs. A. M., 23 years of age, married three years, 
complains of a disorder involving her capacity to achieve the 
orgasm. Sexual intercourse always rouses her very much but, 
although her husband is potent, she remains ungratified, being 
unable to attain orgasm. That renders her very unhappy; she 
thinks of nothing but how she might attain orgasm and why she 
does not. She always hoped that after the birth of a child the 
much desired feeling would set in; but that hope, too, turned 
into disappointment. For the past year she has been a mother 
but there has been no change. 
Life seems joyless to her without the orgasm. She takes no 
interest in anything. For the past weeks she has been weeping 
continually. She also suffers from headaches. Hers is a happy 
marriage; she loves her husband very dearly; nobody under- 
stands her as well as he. Nevertheless they have had a number 
of quarrels recently. 
She has been seized by a veritable buying mania; she buys 
everything she sees, without in the least needing the things. These 
purchases have reached such proportions that her husband, who 
is usually very considerate, rightfully reproached her. She her- 
self struggles against this abnormal buying mania, but in vain. 
She would like to be freed of this trouble; besides that she has 
brought a horrible habit into her married life. She touches every 
object that lies around in the room and whenever possible, opens 
the articles having a cover. She is ashamed of this habit because 
it betokens undue curiosity. Her husband has often begged her 
to give up this habit; but in vain,-she cannot help touching 
everything. 
During the first sitting she tells me, tearfully, the traumatic 
experience of her youth. As a girl of 14 she went to the Coun- 
try for a week to visit relatives. One night she awoke frightened 
to find her uncle (her father's married brother) lying by her 
side in the bed. She claims she was entirely confused, and that 
she could not understand how he came to be lying with her or 
what he wanted of her. She insists that she remembers nothing 
of what happened before she awoke. Indeed, she would like to 288 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
be hypnotized in order to find that out because a certain vague 
suspicion is torturing her. 
For several nights thereafter her uncle again tried to get at her 
but she was afraid and locked herself in. She was wholly 
ignorant, having been brought up at a convent until she was 18 
years of age. Moreover, she was extremely pious and tre- 
mendously fond of the convent life. Mysticism appealed to her. 
She was a Protestant, but her parents lived at a Country place 
where there were no good common schools, therefore Protestant 
girls also went to the convent school. This led to a great conflict 
because her mother, who clung to Protestantism, did not at all 
approve the girl's respect for the Catholic faith. Her sister, two 
years older, was also brought up at the convent but managed to 
keep herself inwardly free from all religious piety. 
The experience with the uncle stretched like a shadow across 
her life. It was a horrible contrast to her demure upbringing. 
Her joyful disposition was broken up by it. She thought she was 
bad; the trauma increased her feeling of inferiority. 
After returning from the convent her home life was very un- 
happy. The mother kept her at a distance from all young men. 
She thought it was useless to allow her young daughter to be- 
come acquainted with young men. "If a desirable prospect should 
appear a chance will be found for her to meet the prospective 
candidate for her hand," was what she said when her daughter 
longed for society. She became acquainted with her husband 
accidentally, during a journey. It was her first love affair. She 
wanted to get married because she felt herself oppressed and 
misunderstood in the parental home. The man was charmed by 
her childish nature, and her bubbling temperament, which some- 
times came to the surface. To him she could open her heart; she 
felt she was understood, at last. 
Before the engagement she told the young man the whole 
episode concerning her uncle. He was honorable enough to have 
faith in her and to draw no further inferences from her con- 
fession. On the wedding night it turned out that she was no 
longer virgin. Her uncle had actually abused her. She knew very 
well that sexual intercourse had occurred, but she was bent on 
repressing the painful incident and she suppressed it so long that 
she was apparently unaware any longer of what had really taken 
place that night. Presently it came to light that this strange 
uncle had done everything with her. True, she did not permit 
intercourse again, but he managed to get hold of her during the THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
289 
day time. He kissed her passionately, excited her manually, and 
allayed her hesitation to come into his room by saying that he 
was merely playing with her as with a child. (Presumably he had 
played sexual games with her already when she was a child but 
she recalls nothing.) She enjoyed his refined endearments, but 
was afraid every moment of being discovered by somebody. She 
knew that her uncle was doing forbidden things with her and 
was wondering why he was not satisfied to do these things to 
his wife. She was passionately fond of this uncle, even after- 
wards ; he wrote to her while she was at the convent, innocent 
letters, of course. Only after she grew a little older did she 
realize how abominably her uncle had mistreated her. After 
that she claims she hated him and that she wished him all sorts 
of evil. 
It was also his fault that she did not become a nun, for she 
would have had to confess that sinful episode,-something she 
could not bring herself to do. She would have gladly remained 
at the convent, the sisters were so kind to her, among them she 
felt safe. She had made up her mind never to marry. Indeed, 
she tells me that she thinks it is sinful for a woman to be roused 
by a man's embrace. She cannot as yet break altogether away 
from the religious precepts in which she has been brought up. 
It turned out in the end that although all her yearning was cen- 
tered on the lack of orgasm, in reality she is afraid of the indul- 
gence because an inner voice warns her against it. After my 
explanation the doubt still keeps looming up that perhaps it 
would be against the church teachings for her to attain gratifica- 
tion. 
Asked about masturbation she admits that she often indulges 
in the habit. She had masturbated already as a very small child 
but had given it up through fear of punishment. As a girl of 
13 the rolling of the waves while sea bathing roused pleasurable 
sensations in her. After that she could masturbate only with the 
aid of water. She would get sexually roused by sitting on a 
plank across the bath tub. Her orgasm she attains by the aid of 
showers. That is the form of masturbation which she practices 
at the present time. 
During urination she has slight pleasurable feelings and often 
she holds back the urine for that reason. Sometimes she even 
wets the bed. She shows a marked bladder and anal eroticism. 
Many of her dreams center on abortion. She cannot sit down 
for any great length of time on account of pain in the parts. The  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
290 
pain is sometimes so acute that she feels like crying out. Her 
anus is a strongly erogenous zone. The original pleasant feeling 
is turned into pain. 
She also shows other traits of psychosexual infantilism. For 
instance, she buys new toys for her child for the reason that later 
the prices will be higher. Meanwhile she plays with the things. 
Her chief enjoyment she derives from building toy towns and 
castles. 
She is not at all pleased that her husband fails to lay out for 
her the things she must do. He should keep her to certain tasks, 
she should cultivate foreign languages, etc. She lacks initiative. 
Her life dribbles away in day dreaming. At night she falls 
asleep pressing the shirt hem between her legs. "She must have 
something between her legs." This, obviously, is a memory trace 
leading back to her infantile swaddling-clothes experience. 
As a child she suffered from peculiar itching which extended 
over the whole body. Occasionally this trouble sets in to this day. 
She had it for the first time at 5 years of age, when she took 
her doll with her to bed. The itching suggests sexual excitation, 
and is traceable to the fantasy of sleeping with some one in bed. 
She is much worried because she often experiences orgasm 
in her dreams, but not during actual sexual intercourse. She 
dreams of lying in bed with her sister, of being tenderly demon- 
strative, of kissing her on the breasts; then orgasm sets in. She 
is passionately attached to the sister and hangs around her con- 
stantly. At the same time that sister very skilfully exploits her 
feeling of inferiority to her own advantage. 
She is a devoted slave to the family. She clings to her parents 
with great love. But, as we shall see, her attitude towards them 
is bipolar. Love and hatred alternate in her breast. She cannot 
decide the least thing without first consulting her mother and 
sister. With them she talks over everything, every stitch of cloth- 
ing is bought with their advice. If she ever bought a hat, or 
something like that, alone, or only with her husband's advice, the 
article would surely not meet with the family's approval; then, 
of course, she could not enjoy it. 
She meets nobody, the family is always together. Her house- 
hold affairs, the bringing up of her child, everything, was in her 
mother's hands. She is now less independent, if possible, than she 
was as a girl. She gives in to her family on everything, although 
sometimes there are differences. For one thing, her husband is 
not appreciated at his true worth, and that worries her a great THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
deal. During the beginning of their married life things were bad; 
the mother reproached him because she looked sad and her mother 
assumed that he was mistreating her daughter. Married life dis- 
appointed her. She had pictured things differently altogether, 
and had greedily anticipated the joys of marital relations. She 
was particularly disappointed when she saw that her husband 
was hairy; she thought a man's body was as clear and smooth 
as a woman's. She half-compelled herself, against her will, to 
accept the situation. But what she really yearned for was her 
sister's smooth body. Like many other women who are sexually 
ungratified, she found that her husband exhales an unpleasant 
mouth odor. (Sign of inner resistance!) One misstep she 
cannot forgive him. During the bridal night, which to her was 
a disappointment, he reproached her for being unskillful. That 
reproach she considered unfair and it embittered her. How was 
she to have experience when she had never had intercourse! Her 
confession had influenced him, and his inner displeasure broke 
out in that manner. Unconsciously he harbored the thought that 
in view of her "past" she ought to prove herself more skillful. 
His words now often come to her during the sexual embrace. 
We note that she wants to punish him for his unadroit remark 
which was so much out of place; therefore she refuses to feel 
gratified. 
He was also often downright unfair during the beginning of 
their married life; he reproached her about many things and 
tried to teach her., 
After her mother's talk with him, mentioned above, his attitude 
towards her changed entirely. He is now extremely tender with 
her, and submits patiently to her moods. But her family is sus- 
picious of him; they try to make her see that he does not love her 
as much as appearances indicate, that he married her for financial 
reasons, etc. They think that he is not sufficiently attentive to 
her, and point out how differently her sister's husband behaves, 
at the same time praising the latter's business sagacity. All these 
accusations she considers unfair; they lead to controversies; a 
trace of their talk lingers in her soul. She asks herself: may not 
her family be right after all? A voice within her takes her 
husband's part. The critical attitude of her family renders her 
extremely uneasy; whenever any of the members of her family 
are at her home she is on guard, lest they find something again 
to reproach her husband for, or perhaps he may not show himself 
sufficiently cordial, etc. Her emotions play ducks and drakes 
291  PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
292 
with her. She loves her husband and he understands her so well. 
Indeed, she must acknowledge that he is more kind to her even 
than her parents are. Although she dearly loves her parents, 
she is also vaguely embittered against them; particularly against 
the mother, who, she thinks, has not brought her up properly 
because she lacks the capacity to understand a child's mind. At 
the same time she is to this day very reticent about her views. 
There are things which she could not tell even her husband, be-- 
cause she is too ashamed; for instance, a certain childhood ex-, 
perience from which she suffers to this day. As a three-year-old 
child her mother caught her while a five-year-old boy playmate 
tried to abuse her sexually. That caused considerable trouble. 
The little sinner was brought to face her father, who punished 
her roundly. In addition to that she was deprived of her fa- 
vorite fruit, which father had just brought home. The memory 
of that occurrence has remained indelibly stencilled on her mind. 
Thus the first sexual aggression became apparently linked with 
painful punishment and the withdrawal of an expected pleasure. 
She admits that the memory of that occurrence had often 
loomed up in her mind during the sexual embrace. Indeed, she 
would feel actually ashamed if she experienced gratification dur- 
ing the sexual embrace and her mother found it out. On that 
memorable occasion her mother made out that she was a hope- 
lessly depraved child. For years after that her mother threw up 
to her the occurrence on all occasions. One had to be particu- 
larly on guard with a child that turns out depraved at so tender 
an age. She herself thought that she was unlike other children. 
She asks me whether what she had done was really so very bad. 
This childhood experience, along with that other experience, was 
what had prevented her from taking the veil. The foundation 
for her inferiority feeling was thus laid. She was very adroit 
at inventing all sorts of incredible stories which she herself finally 
believed. Her mother made her lie because she sometimes did not 
believe her even when she told the truth. She was even punished 
once, although she was innocent. She then resolved always to 
lie, because she was not believed anyway. She was extremely 
fond of sweets and stuck into her mouth anything that seemed 
eatable. For that reason she customarily suffered from indi- 
gestion. She also showed light cleptomaniac traits, for in- 
stance, always stealing her father's notebooks and pencils. She 
was stubborn, often through jealousy, because her older sister THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
was the mother's favorite, and was always held up to her as a 
model. 
Indeed, she knows that if her married life is not happy it is 
actually her parents' fault, her mother's in particular. She in- 
dulges in all sorts of fantasies how things might be if she were 
unmarried and still at her parents' home. She is faithless; at 
heart she does not endure the marital ties; therefore she regrets 
her marriage. She accepted her husband out of spite; her parents 
did not want to consider the marriage at all. But she declared: 
"I shall marry either this man or nobody!" She thinks that per- 
haps it was not right for her to choose without the family con- 
sent, especially as even her sister was against the match. Now 
she apparently strives to make up by redoubled obedience for her 
past stubbornness. She now buys everything only with the fam- 
ily's approval, because once her choice, really her husband's, 
failed to meet with their approval. 
She is displeased because her brother-in-law is the family's 
favorite. Why he, and not her husband? Many of her fantasies 
center around her brother-in-law with herself as his wife. She 
assumes she might have been happier with him. He is not at 
all handsome, her husband is much more manly appearing. The 
longing for the brother-in-law is roused by a homosexual flame 
because she is in love with her sister. She always wanted to 
sleep in bed with her. The prospect of losing her sister had 
caused her spells of depression. 
Her candor towards her husband borders on cruelty. For 
instance, he knows that she day-dreams about her brother-in-law. 
More than that, she tells him also that she would like to try out 
other men,-perhaps she could attain orgasm. After an adven- 
ture into freedom she could always come back to him, she thinks 
he would be waiting for her. She has pronounced prostitution 
fancies; envies the prostitutes for their varietism, pictures their 
life as something majestic, and would like to visit a brothel. She 
thinks that she would have surely become a prostitute had she 
not been brought up so strictly. Her better self suffers on account 
of this predisposition. She is, in fact, a curious admixture of 
refinement and coarseness. For instance, she is very intelli- 
gent, immensely well read, fond of old French literature, familiar 
even with the writings of some of our modern philosophers. At 
the same time she buys daily a newspaper in order to follow the 
installments of a certain "yellow" novel. 
293 294 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
If the character and cultural standing of a person may be 
judged by the dreams, one would not surmise from a survey 
of her dreams that she is a person of high cultural attainments. 
Her dreams are extremely simple, very transparent, speaking 
the language of almost unbridled instinct. The following 
dream may serve as an illustration: 
We lose our way. We meet an old woman and I ask her to 
put us up for the night. She takes us to a large room containing 
several beds. It is her daughter's home. The daughter is just 
beginning to dress up. A man stands near her. I ask whether 
he is her husband. The old woman answers: "Oh, no, my 
daughter has another man every hour." The man, leaning on 
the window sill, says to another man, who has just come in: 
"So, it is not your turn until after I go downstairs." The second 
man grows impatient, he comes up to each one of us and asks: 
"May I take you?" I am very much afraid he will come up 
also to me, but I cannot leave. He comes up to me. I weep 
and pointing to my wedding ring I ask him if can't he see that 
I am married and a decent woman! 
We turn to her buying propensities which had lately grown 
into a regular mania. Although she belongs to a wealthy 
family and lives in very comfortable circumstances she is 
generally very economical. She spends little on her clothes. 
But she squanders a great deal of money on unnecessary, 
worthless trifles. For instance, she goes to town and standing 
before a store the thought suddenly comes to her that she 
must buy this or that article. Or something in the shop 
window takes her fancy and she must have it at once. She 
has no use for the articles, but an impulsion drives her to 
buy them. Thus every time she goes to town she spends 
considerable money. This has already led repeatedly to quar- 
rels with her husband, who is otherwise very considerate, and 
she has made solemn resolutions to curb herself, but every 
time she yields again to the temptation of buying things. 
She indulges in another very costly habit. She reads only 
books she owns, and consequently she buys books all the 
time. She rummages the second-hand book stores for old, 
rare copies. She enjoys the books only when nicely bound; THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
295 
unbound copies she would not have around her and are 
promptly sent to the binders'. Her buying mania and her 
passion for books have brought her into unpleasant situations, 
for although she is wealthy her endless and unforeseen pur- 
chases sometimes find her short of ready money. She has 
bills to pay; instead of doing so she spends the money, then 
she receives dunning letters from the creditors and she is 
afraid to tell her husband; often she does not and is at a 
loss how to extricate herself out of her money difficulties. 
Her spontaneous purchases put her in a pleasant mood. She 
enjoys the articles at the moment of buying them, but after 
that she throws them aside. 
Her buying mania is traceable to the desire for change, 
it is reducible to her yearning after other men. She goes 
to the love mart, so to speak, and buys other men for herself. 
She is not really after love, she does not consider herself 
capable of feeling true love. She is enticed merely by the 
adventures of love. She would like to choose a sweetheart, 
and if he should not suit her, or if he should leave her, very 
well, she would find another. She does not take at all into 
consideration the world of reality wherein the relations are 
entirely different and a woman who ventures risks all sorts 
of dangers, including the chances of infection. Her yearning 
for superficial adventures shows itself in the purchase of 
worthless articles, inasmuch as the act of buying alone is 
the chief incentive. 
She would like to entice strange men; that is the supreme 
craving of her existence, and she finds it uncommonly hard 
to have to give this up on account of her married state. For 
that reason, too, she does not enjoy wearing smart clothes; 
she is the type of woman who dresses for other men. She 
does not find it particularly exciting to appeal merely to her 
own husband. 
The books she buys, too, stand for men. The hard binding 
is disclosed by the analysis to represent a phallic symbol. 
But the passion for books is doubly determined; it is also 
traceable to her wish to have her "pass-book," like a pros- 
titute. She well understands the meaning of these impulsive 
acts. But her prostitution fantasies being deeply rooted are 296 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
not easily dislodged. She shrinks from the realization that 
reality must sober her up, that her fantasies are not to be 
realized. She continually reverts back to her fantasies. She 
admits that all day long she lives in her dreams and accom- 
plishes nothing. She likes best handwork, that permits one 
wonderfully to indulge in day dreams. She is unable to con- 
centrate her thoughts, avoids any mental strain, and has no 
patience to carry out any work. She cannot even take care 
of her child, it makes her nervous and she becomes impatient 
with him. Then, in her anger, she could strike the child, 
and she has felt at times like choking him. There are days 
when she is on edge, ready to strike any one. She has a 
sadistic predisposition and frequently indulges in fancies of 
that character. Her conduct with her husband, whose good 
disposition she often deliberately tries, discloses her sadism. 
Returning to her oniomania: here we see the relationship 
between masturbation and cleptomania, since the woman, as 
already mentioned, displayed cleptomaniac tendencies during 
her childhood. The buying mania is merely a repressed, a 
milder form of cleptomania, the desired object merely being 
paid for. It is of particular significance that as a child the 
patient stole things specially from her father, specifically pen- 
cils. As the analysis of her dream material disclosed, she is 
fixed on the father. She is unwilling to acknowledge this fact. 
On the contrary, of late she has behaved rudely towards him 
on the ground that the father usually finds small faults with 
her husband. Indeed, he has even hinted to her that he would 
not be against a separation. I explain to her that this is but 
jealousy on her father's part, inasmuch as he probably also 
stands in a morbid emotional relationship towards her. She 
describes to me some terrible quarrels between them and her 
father, lately. He could not bear to see her take her husband's 
part and flew in a terrible rage. He scolded her husband in 
a very coarse manner. Then he was taken aback because 
she flew at him. He said he would never forget her conduct. 
He did not expect such ingratitude from her. He had always 
said that she was his favorite daughter. 
Finally she admits that until her 16th year she was deeply 
in love with her father, and that she had made up her mind THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
297 
never to marry so as to be always with him. She never 
thought of her mother in that connection, obviously in her 
mind the mother was out of the way. Then a change occurred 
in her emotions and she became more attached to the mother. 
Her unconscious death wish against the mother had generated 
in her a pronounced sense of guilt. Her emotional feeling- 
attitude towards her mother, therefore, is bipolar to this day. 
She is anxious to please her; on the other hand she regards 
her as the cause of her marital unhappiness. 
She also pities her mother, who was not treated right by 
the father and that is also a reason why she is now on her 
mother's side. She thinks she knows that her father is untrue 
to his marital ties and that he maintains a clandestine relation- 
ship. That particularly rouses her ire; she believes a man 
of his age ought not to do such a thing. 
She, a married, devoted wife, who, at the same time, in 
her fantasy, at least, is a most faithless creature, and unhappy 
because she cannot have other men, wants to deny to her 
father the privilege of sexual indulgence. "He can have all 
the fun he wants with his wife," she says. On the other 
hand she knows that her mother has lost all charm for him 
after she underwent a complete hysterectomy. 
Indeed, she intends to talk to him; she is not going to 
tolerate such conduct; he must think of his grown-up chil- 
dren. At first she vehemently protests against the idea that 
her moral indignation is due merely to jealousy. It is note- 
worthy that she can never converse with her father, she never 
did it even when their relations were favorable. In his pres- 
ence she always feels shy, uneasy and can think of nothing 
to talk about. 
Her prostitution fancies are also linked to her feeling- 
attitude towards her father. If she were a prostitute, her 
father might be among the brothel visitors and sexual inter- 
course with him would be possible. 
Her attitude towards her family is disclosed in part by the 
following dream: 
I pass by a few women of the lower class and I overhear the 
word "orgasm"; an elderly woman steps forth and says: "That 298 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
cannot be orgasm, it is only something like it." I am with mother 
and with Hedi (my sister). We come to a strange room. Frau 
Milko sits there huddled in a corner on the floor. A strange girl 
talks about analysis and says that she must go to a nerve special- 
ist. I advise her to go to Dr. Stekel. She thinks she knows 
somebody who is better. Frau Milko says she will gladly ac- 
company her, although as Dr. Stekel's assistant she ought not to 
do it. We all escort the girl to her doctor. There we find that 
the patients are cured by torture. The procedure is public. 
The physician is a great man and I see he is my father. My 
husband is his assistant. Children are also present and they are 
tortured. I am filled with dread and fear. Papa first tries it 
out on my husband and tears out his hair. My husband's facial 
expression is distorted by the pain, at the same time he bows 
with a smile before papa, as if grateful. The exhibition ends. 
Thus far mother was present, suddenly she is at home. We take 
the street car home; Papa, too, and we are tremendously afraid 
of him. He stands outside, to get off, because he says he cannot 
go home as yet. He was still busy (it was already five o'clock 
in the morning). We feel like swearing at him, but we wait till 
he gets off, so that he should not guess from our facial expression 
that we are talking about him. Then we swear and growl because 
he does not come home and leaves mother alone so long. Mother 
actually waits in front of the house and asks at once, where is 
father? We say he was still busy. Mother retorts: "Oh, yes, 
er muss noch etwas verladcn. (He has to transfer something!)." 
I rush ahead into the house and find my brother in my sleeping 
room. I am glad that he is ready at last to confess. I stroll 
up to him to kiss and pat him; whereupon he confesses to me that 
he has come for my sake; he cannot get me out of his mind; he 
must possess me once more. I defend myself and while so doing 
I touch incidentally his membrum. He cries out, I must not 
touch him, or I will drive him mad. He kisses me on the lips 
so passionately that I must return the kiss. I feel his tongue in 
my mouth. Just then my husband comes in. I throw myself at 
him, embrace him, and beg him to save me. My husband wants 
to possess me ahead of my brother, seeing that we belong to one 
another. "Give it up, you better show your membrum to Anna, 
she won't like it, because it is so red. Look, mine is all white!" 
I look at both; my brother's was much smaller than my hus- 
band's. THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
She is dissatisfied with my treatment; she comes once 
a week. I point out to her, from time to time, the facts 
disclosed by the analysis. She admits that she comes to 
my office with the fantasy that the occasion may lead to 
some demonstration of tenderness, and every time she leaves 
the office disappointed and ungratified. In the dream she 
goes to a doctor who knows better how to treat patients. 
It is her father. In the dream she utilizes her infantile sexual 
theory which represents intercourse between the parents as 
a struggle, from which the male comes out the stronger. 
Her father emasculates her husband (tears out his hair!) thus 
making him resemble her sister. Finally the brother appears 
as a younger version of the father-. At this stage of the 
analysis she cannot recall that her brother played any role 
whatsoever in her life. It is noteworthy that all these persons 
appear to her during a coitus dream, as is indicated at the 
very beginning, by the reference to "orgasm." 
Interesting also is the fact that she chose a husband who 
stands in contrast with her father as exactly the opposite 
type of man. Her husband is highly cultured, a man of 
artistic taste, and of a rather effeminate disposition. Her 
father is rough, a self-made man, interested only in his busi- 
ness, and brutal with his wife and children. Through dif- 
ferentiation from the father she chose a man of culture. 
Her husband is very unhappy over the fact that she does not 
attain consummation during their sexual embrace, although, 
curiously enough, his own orgasm is not affected thereby. 
On the contrary, his sexual gratification is very intense. He 
loves her more and more, and he is obviously keen to induce 
orgasm in her. He is very much charmed by her, and be- 
lieves that everybody cannot help falling in love with his wife. 
Nevertheless he does not appear to be clear about his emotions. 
His patience, too, will come to an end, if she keeps on tor- 
menting him. Some of his remarks already show that he 
is beginning to feel inwardly uneasy. But he represses such 
thoughts. He has been suffering from severe headaches for 
some time. When she scolds him he becomes unusually de- 
pressed. Although he cannot conceive living without her, 
299 300 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
he has referred to a possible separation. He loves her and 
would like to see her happy. 
She is often in terrible distress because she sees no way 
out of her difficulties. Consciously she rejects the possibility 
of a divorce. 
She is frightfully jealous, even about her husband's past. 
She wants to know everything about his youthful days and 
presses him with questions about his past sexual experiences. 
She plagues him until he gives in to her but thereafter she 
becomes depressed. She is jealous of his former sweethearts 
and at the same time she envies him and would like to have 
been in his place. She is interested only in adventuresses. 
Her husband's stories rouse her sexually; they kindle her 
homosexuality. 
She rebels against the existing order of society wherein 
man is granted greater freedom than woman. She rebels 
against nature because woman's organism is so built that 
woman cannot express her whole existence without mental 
or physical damage. 
According to her account, her husband not only carries 
out normal intercourse but attempts to induce complete sum- 
mation of enjoyment for her by various other methods. She 
gets very highly excited, thinks every moment she is about 
to have orgasm, but nothing happens. She envies him when 
she sees how much gratification he gets out of it and every 
time she breaks out in tears because she cannot enjoy the 
same feeling. She complains that she always thinks of her 
uncle during the sexual embrace, that whenever her husband 
indulges in any tendernesses with her, she seems to recall that 
her uncle had done the same thing to her. 
She would prefer to have intercourse fully dressed, and 
not in bed, with the fancy that some one is about to catch 
her at it. Her fantasy always conjures up the possibility 
of being surprised while having intercourse, and she also 
likes to imagine that some one is looking on. 
All that shows plainly that she still thinks of her uncle 
and not at all reproachfully. Obviously she is unable to for- 
get him; it seems that she must have enjoyed immensely the 
intimacy of the man for whom her mind is thus yearning. THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
He roused her and made her a woman. Then, too, we must 
not forget that he represents the father, standing for a younger 
edition of the latter. It is very hard to make her understand 
that she does not want to forget the uncle and that therefore 
she cannot, perhaps does not want, to experience orgasm dur- 
ing her husband's sexual embrace. 
She had a characteristic dream: 
My husband wants to have intercourse with me, uncle goes 
through the room and, smiling scornfully, says: "Don't let your- 
selves be disturbed!" 
She dreams frequently of being disturbed during coitus; 
either the mother, or the girl servant, usually her child, comes 
in at the critical moment. That represents her early life; 
we shall yet see to what an extent her past interferes with 
her sex enjoyment. 
She tells me that during coitus a certain notion comes to 
her mind. She would like to fall off, that would surely 
bring on the orgasm. At first this fantasy seemed puzzling 
to me. The analysis of a dream 14 brought to light the follow- 
ing facts: When she was 4 years of age, her 15-year-old 
brother and a boy comrade played sexually with her. She 
slid down a plank in the garden and every time she reached 
the bottom the boys took turns tickling her on the sexual 
parts. She confesses she would like to reexperience that pleas- 
ure. She cannot understand why she should have had such 
a feeling only once in her life. 
Other experiences, previously suppressed, in which her 
brother figured, come to her mind at this juncture. At the 
beginning of the analysis she had not even mentioned the 
existence of this brother, and for some time afterwards 
claimed that she had no occasion to think of him. 
She was 6 years of age when the brother enticed her into 
his room and tried to make sexual use of her. It could not 
be done, besides he was afraid of being discovered. He dis- 
missed her with the remark: "You are yet too small!" a re- 
mark she did not understand, and it puzzled her. Another 
time, she was then older, her parents had gone to the theatre, 
the 17-year-old brother took her and the other sister with 
301 PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
302 
him to the parental twin beds and carried out manipulations 
on their sexual parts. Her pluralism dates from that occur- 
rence; therefore she wants an onlooker during coitus and on 
her part would also like to watch other couples in the act. 
She was bound to become parapathic as a child on account 
of the precocious awakening of her sexual life, rich in 
traumatic incidents, coupled with her mother's foolish man- 
ner of bringing her up. Her mother surrounded the most 
natural things with a veil of mystery, and explained a few 
sexual matters to her only when her sister married. She 
was already 18 years of age at the time. Meanwhile she 
learned some things through reading books. This mother, 
who thought it unnecessary to explain things, after her daugh- 
ter left the convent, dragged her along to cabarets and bars, 
because she did not want to go only with the father. Our 
patient was very unhappy over that because she was still 
very pious at the time. It brought her face to face with a 
terrible conflict. Every time on returning from such an ex- 
cursion she prayed for hours that God forgive her sins. Often, 
in repentance, she slept on the bare floor with a single sheet 
under her. She struggles with her piety to this day, although 
I have already exposed to her the ridiculous character of her 
false piety. She preserves all her convent prayer books and 
holy images. I demand that she get rid of all that, if she 
wants to be through with her past. These mementoes are 
supposed to remind her of the beautiful convent life, as a 
matter of fact they serve as reminders of the time when 
she passed through her experience with the uncle. She tries 
always to convince me that since we talked the matter out 
she is no longer oppressed by her former piety. 
But I insist that she must have taken some kind of a vow 
which prevents her from enjoying fully her marital relations. 
The following dream corroborates my suspicion. 
I am about to have intercourse with my husband when my 
child walks out of an enclosure (chamber pot). I cannot under- 
stand how it got in. 
Asked to give the associations to her dream, the following 
occurrence comes to her mind: shortly after her return from THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
303 
the convent her mother one night rushed into her room be- 
cause she had heard a suspicious noise. Her sister had 
dropped her rosary on the floor. She quickly hid it under 
the pillow, but her mother saw it, took away the rosary, also 
her sister's, and in her anger dropped them both into the 
chamber pot. She was beside herself over this profanation 
and next morning she burned the rosary. 
In the dream the child stands for the rosary which rep- 
resents her youth and, specifically, her convent period. A 
certain recollection disturbs her enjoyment. Then, suddenly, 
while talking, the following memory comes to her: shortly 
after the episode with the uncle which shook her up so badly, 
she swore never to yield to any man. This oath had a double 
determinant. On the one hand during her piety she con- 
sidered any form of sexual enjoyment sinful and wanted to 
expatiate for her one fall into sin by this act of complete 
renunciation. On the other hand the oath was to prevent 
her from enjoying another man's embrace, she was to remain 
true to her uncle and bask in the sweet memory. She was 
conscious only of the religious motive of her oath. 
She kept her oath; although she married she never truly 
gave herself to her husband. She does not know the joy 
of yielding. That oath laid the foundation for the failure 
of her orgasm. It is one of the chief roots of her inability 
to enjoy fully the love life. 
The patient complains to me that she cannot get rid of 
the habit of touching everything within her reach. It is very 
unpleasant: when she is invited to a house, she goes up and 
down the room, touching every article which happens to be 
standing or lying around, and tries to open anything that 
has a cover. It looks so terribly bad and she is sometimes 
stared at with astonishment. But she cannot help it; she 
must obey the impulse. 
This touch impulsion is also a compulsive trait and the 
symbol for a primal reaction. She harbors the wish of un- 
buttoning every man's trousers to look at his genitals. That 
explanation she is most decidedly able to corroborate. She 
knows that she actually harbors such thoughts. 
If we take into consideration that the patient has gone 304 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
through some very stormy traumatic episodes and that she has 
passed her childhood and youth very largely in the convent 
atmosphere, where she counted among the proudest and most 
pious acquisitions, we need not be surprised at her serious 
illness. Ascetic tendencies and burning prostitution fancies 
glow in her soul, side by side. After her marriage there 
arose also the serious conflict between family and husband. 
Although an attempt was made to bring some influence to 
bear upon her mother, and to explain to her that her daugh- 
ter's health depended a great deal on her attitude, she showed 
no understanding of the situation. She did not do a thing 
towards prevailing upon the other members of the family to 
assume a friendlier attitude towards the patient's husband. 
They were jealous of each other, and could not bear to see 
the young woman no longer devote her attention exclusively 
to them. 
Among the various determinants responsible for her trouble, 
we must not lose sight of her feeling-attitude of contrariness 
towards her husband. His thoughtless reproach during the 
bridal night, on account of her alleged lack of skill, led to 
serious consequences. 
Of deeper significance for her subsequent behaviour during 
coitus was the fact that her first sexual experience as a child 
ended in punishment and the withholding of another favorite 
indulgence. Her sexuality became thus intimately linked with 
something forbidden and with unpleasant feelings. 
The patient's homosexuality complicates her disorder. She 
prefers lying in bed with a woman, herself playing the role 
of a man. Often she dreams of deflorating virgins. 
The subject is fixed on the family so strongly that she 
cannot overcome this handicap at close range; therefore she 
wants to go off and live as far away from the family as 
possible. She begs her husband to seek a position in another 
country. As matters stand this request is not unreasonable 
on her part. 
After an analysis of three months' duration the patient 
leaves, feeling entirely well. She has become very lively, 
lebensfreudig, and intends to enjoy reality; her dreaming pro- 
pensity she curbs, realizing the waste of idle dreaming. She THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
305 
is well on the way of turning from a child wife into a full- 
fledged human being, and to become a useful mother to her 
child. Her marriage relations have vastly improved; she 
appreciates that a separation would be a most unfortunate 
step for her, and wants to be happy with her husband who, 
after all, loves her very dearly. She avoids quarrelling with 
him. Her love will also awaken for him when she deliberately 
gives up her prostitution fantasies. Now and then she en- 
joys complete orgasm, much to their mutual happiness. She 
was never a frigid woman, and differing from women of that 
type because she was always keen for the enjoyment of sex. 
Obviously she must have also experienced orgasm; but her 
fore-pleasure was so great that it obscured the end-pleasure. 
Moreover, she was looking for another enjoyment, such as 
she experienced during masturbation, and during her inti- 
macies with the uncle and brother. 
She was also very much relieved by a talk she had with 
her husband, during which she related to him her experience 
with the brother as well as the incident about the little boy. 
She was happy that she no longer harbored any secrets from 
him, and happy that he did not scorn her for it, but only 
sympathized with her because she had suffered so much on that 
account. 
Her desire to buy things, except for an occasional mild out- 
break of the old mania, is reduced to normal proportions. 
She cannot adjust herself properly to her family, with refer- 
ence to them she seems unable to find her proper psychic 
balance. The mania of touching things has disappeared alto- 
gether. 
After a few months I received from her a very optimistic 
letter. They managed to get away, after all. Her husband 
accepted a position in a foreign country. They are both very 
happy. She is extraordinarily in love with her husband, and 
is now convinced that a better man she could not find. 
Finally her craving is also stilled. She has experienced the 
bliss of complete yielding; she now always enjoys sexual 
intercourse as never before and always to the point of com- 
plete pleasure consummation. 
Let us sum up this interesting analysis: the patient wants 306 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
to bring on at all costs the orgasm she once felt as a child. 
One might assume that being disappointed in her husband's 
embrace she would give up intercourse. On the contrary! 
She craves eagerly sexual intercourse. Once her husband, 
who was carrying out sexual intercourse with her every night, 
suffered from headache. He wanted to go to sleep. (That 
was his way of getting rid of the headaches!) She asked 
him to wake her up in the night. Her one thought was 
always: will I have orgasm this time ? But for various reasons 
which we have seen through the analysis this was not possible. 
She experiences a fairly intense fore-pleasure, perhaps also 
orgasm, but if so, she does not regard the latter experience 
as complete because it does not seem to correspond to her 
highly roused expectations. 
She is altogether a child-woman, filled and dominated by 
infantile fantasies. What she seeks is the past pleasures. 
The games with the brother, the experience with the uncle, 
and perhaps also some other, earlier experiences with her 
father,-these are incidents firmly fixed through innumerable 
fantasies. 
She wants to live over again the past. She runs after 
the old, long since past orgasm, she revives it through her 
masturbation fancies, she wants to go through that experience 
again, at all costs. 
She might have become a cleptomaniac as easily as some 
of my other patients with a similar life history. But the 
religious training in the convent had a tremendous influence 
upon her soul and did not permit her to go to the length 
of actually committing a wrong. In her fantasy she becomes 
a prostitute and commits every crime; in the realm of reality 
she can express her instinctive cravings only through sympto- 
matic acts. She buys things, imagining that she secures bar- 
gains, and that she is getting the best of a deal (perhaps that 
she has cheated the bookseller). With the purchase of old 
books she links the fantasy of acquiring again something 
from her past of which she had been deprived. Inasmuch 
as that is but a symbolic act, the gratification can only be 
transient. The book, after all, is neither her brother, nor THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
307 
her uncle. It is merely a book, no matter how precious it 
might be. The impulse is only temporarily gratified. It 
breaks out again, for the original craving is not satiated. 
Therefore, in the analysis of cleptomaniacs it is not enough 
to discover the symbolic meaning of the stolen article. The 
act in itself has its significant symbolic value; it stands for 
some other act which is part of the subject's past and it 
amounts to a game; it is a compidsive repetition. 
The oniomaniac is distinguished from the cleptomaniac by 
the fact that he pays (for the article he craves!) He ex- 
piates for the pleasure of acquisition by the loss of money. 
Paying is an act which expresses the tendencies characteristic 
also of the cleptomaniac, who often is unable to hold on to 
the stolen article and who may be a charitable person. We 
shall refer to that peculiarity again later. The oniomaniac 
wants to get rid of his money. For him money is a symbol 
of love. He gets and he gives love. He substitutes a re- 
ciprocal love for an old, long since forgotten love. He pays 
with current value for something that has no currency any 
longer. He parts with reality for the sake of fantasies. 
All these fantasies are so constructed that they represent 
the impossible as possible. Our patient turns into a prostitute, 
and thus she may get in touch with her father, brother, and 
uncle. These fantasies are strengthened by the fact that her 
father keeps a sweetheart and is a man of the world, the 
brother, a flighty minded individual, has been thrown out of 
the house, and carries on all sorts of adventures, and-as to 
the uncle, no one knows his true character any better than this 
girl from a decent home who at 14 years of age was coerced 
into becoming his sweetheart. A prostitute is paid for her 
love. Therefore she spends so much money that she must 
always ask for more, thus maintaining the fiction of being 
paid. 
The other impulses, the tactile craving, and the tendency to 
open everything and look in, typical infantile feeling-attitudes, 
are easily understood. They fit into the picture. 
We see once more that there is no such thing as a mono- 308 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
mania. What we find always are impulses which assume 
various particular forms. 
The following case shows a combination of noctambulism 
(sleep walking) and cleptomania; the case is of psychoana- 
lytic interest also in other regards. 
Case 50. Hermann G., 19 years of age, is unable to work, has 
spells during which he loses consciousness, and suffers from 
acute attacks of anxiety. The trouble developed gradually since 
he was 13 years of age until it has reached the present acute 
degree. The onset was insidious. He began to be absent-minded 
at school, brought home poor marks, lost weight, felt often de- 
pressed, and showed slight beginnings of anxiety. Two years 
ago, on August 10, he had the first spell, which scared him, as 
well as his family, very badly. He has been repeatedly under the 
treatment of neurologists, has also been treated psychothera- 
peutically, by the Dubois method, at a sanitarium, but in spite 
of everything his trouble grew progressively worse. 
He is a victim of pantophobia. He cannot go out of doors 
alone; he is afraid of catching cold; he cannot eat any hard food, 
especially meat; he avoids going near the windows, he might be 
overcome by an impulse to throw himself out; he is afraid of 
the least excitement, it might bring on brain fever, and avoids 
going to lectures; he is afraid of mental overstrain, and is unable 
to study; he carries on a heroic struggle against masturbation, 
which had been recommended to him by the sanitarium physician, 
because he is afraid it will injure him. Above all, he dreads the 
spells, lest he die of heart failure during one of them. According 
to his account, there is no dread with which he is unacquainted. 
Although he does not indulge in sexual intercourse with women 
he suffers from syphilidophobia (morbid fear of syphilitic in- 
fection). He might get infected passing by a street woman! At 
the same time he is afraid of possible poison in the food. The 
air, too, is full of dangerous microbes! Therefore he often 
holds his breath. 
On account of his fear of excitement the analysis proceeds at 
a slow pace. He wants to talk only about indifferent matters. 
Dreams he finds very unpleasant. He does not believe in them. 
He depreciates all men who have accomplished something. He 
is very proud, and suffers terribly because in spite of his rare 
talents he is in a rut and has achieved nothing. He sits all 
day in his room, talking to his parents, or his brothers and sisters. THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
309 
He comes from a good family. Parents and the other children 
are wholly normal. He knows no reason for his parapathy. He 
believes he suffers from excess of sexuality. He has sexualized 
the whole world. There were times when he read all the porno- 
graphic books he could lay his hands on. Now there is nothing 
which he cannot visualize in sexual terms. A head is the glans 
penis, a screw driver a phallus, a shoe the vagina, riding means 
having intercourse. This symbolization is not deliberate. He 
fights against it. It is not his choice to see everything in sexual 
terms. He may read a philosophic work or study a foreign lan- 
guage. It is useless. The same pictures loom up again and 
again. Masturbation yields him no relief. On the contrary! 
After an onanistic indulgence he feels impelled to repeat the 
masturbation act and he trembles with the fear that if he gave 
in to his feelings he would masturbate inordinately. 
He is afraid also of his impulses. He cannot tolerate a knife 
near him (he might stick it into one of his sisters!). He does 
not want to stay alone in his room (he might do something to 
himself!). He cannot be only with one other person in the room 
(something might happen!). He does not go out (he might 
speak to a girl and meet rebuff or he might assault some one!). 
He always dreads his impulses, which he cannot explain to him- 
self. 
The spells are the central point in his parapathy. For the last 
few months he has been free of these spells. But he is all the 
time dreading their return. That is why he does not dare go 
out alone. What would he do if the dreaded spell should come 
over him? 
Among his other troublesome symptoms may be mentioned 
the headaches and occasional nausea. There were times when 
he vomited after every meal. Now he feels nauseated after 
a hearty meal, or whenever he eats meat. His headaches start 
in the morning; they are at times so severe as to seem past 
endurance. The usual remedies bring no relief. 
His trouble grew worse after consulting professors W. and 
M. Both warned him against the evil consequences of mas- 
turbation and predicted that the trouble would grow incurable 
if he did not give up the "bad" habit. An attempt to relieve 
his cravings through intercourse with a prostitute proved futile 
on account of his fear of infection. 310 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
Analysis discloses, in the first place, a strong attachment to 
the whole family. Each member of the family is a sexual 
objective to him. In his fantasies he is preoccupied as much 
with his brothers as with his sisters. His dreams reveal the 
well-known CEdipus complex with grotesque clarity. Maternal 
body fantasies are also admitted. 
After a short time it becomes plain that he brings on his 
lighter spells by means of aerophagy (swallowing of air!). 
He pumps into himself all the air he can, then holds his 
breath. This leads to remarkable spells of confused conscious- 
ness. He is distracted, and stares, wide-eyed, vacantly, in 
front of him. He does not know what goes through his mind. 
A dream leads us into a significant path: 
I am at the theatre. The Beautiful Helen is represented. 
Before the play begins, I see a sort of a store in the foyer. 
I buy a number of trifles. My mother says to me: "What 
are all those things you have again bought ?" I buy also a rubber 
band which begins to burn in my hands. I stamp it under my 
foot. Then I hurry into the theatre. They are singing the aria: 
It is but a dream . . . Then I see that the beautiful Helen is 
entirely naked. She lies down in bed. I go through the theatre, 
like in a hypnotic dream, towards her. A broad stairway over 
which a couple of curtains are hanging leads to her. In front 
of the curtains there are various bushy palms. I come close to 
her bed and-awake with a pollution. 
This dream becomes comprehensible when we learn that 
one of his sisters is called Helen. She was married; shortly 
after her marriage she separated from her husband, and now 
lives with her parents. The various purchases in the dream 
are repetitions of a compulsive act, from which he suffers 
since his trouble began. He always buys things and then 
gives them away to his brothers and sisters. His mother has 
scolded him repeatedly for this oniomania. He also has the 
habit of touching everything in the stores; he takes the articles 
in hand and then puts them back. 
The "rubber" recalls a relevant incident which comes to 
light only after two months of analysis. He had a younger 
sister who died of brain fever six years ago. For the relief THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
311 
of her terrible headaches she had a rubber ice bag. He was 
always at odds with that sister. When she fell ill he wished 
her dead. Indeed, the day before she died he went to the 
theatre. After she passed away he had the feeling that he 
was responsible for her death; in fact, his first feeling about 
it was one of satisfaction. (Schadenfreude!) He had always 
been extremely jealous of that sister. His parapathy turns 
out to be an identification with the sister. He imitates her 
sufferings. It was said that she had caught cold; he was 
afraid of catching cold. During the last days of her illness 
she could take no food, and was fed through a tube; he 
could eat no food. Towards the end her breathing became 
labored and he imitates this difficulty also by swallowing air 
and withholding his breath. She died on a Monday; every 
Monday is for him a day of torture. All his symptoms are 
aggravated on that day. During the last days she vomited. 
He suffers from nausea and vomiting on the corresponding 
days of the year. 
His topophobia and his syphilidophobia lead to a very sur- 
prising explanation. The fact was once mentioned in his 
presence that his sister had been enticed once into the bushes 
by a gang of soldiers while she strolled through the Prater. 
He thinks she was infected with syphilis. The occurrence 
is never mentioned in the house, but he overheard some talk 
once about brain syphilis. Now he is afraid he might be 
accosted on the street and become infected. He cannot go 
to the Prater. 
The most important revelation is the fact that his sister 
was buried on July io. He remained at home on that day 
and was particularly happy. An old aunt reproached him 
for his heartless conduct and said: "God will yet punish you 
for your cold-blooded behaviour!" Four years later, on Aug- 
ust io, he had his first serious attack. 
But the dream refers also to an incident involving his older 
sister, Helen. At this juncture he admits that as a child he 
had often crawled to her bed and to his mother's. During the 
last few years he found in the morning some of his sister's 
undergarments in his bed and he did not understand how 
they happened to be there. Nor could he give any account 312 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
of how he happened to find in his bed his mother's wrapper 
and his brother's drawers. Then his brother told him that 
he was a sleep walker. He was horrified at the thought that 
he might wander at night to his mother or sister and carry 
out a sexual assault on them. Every night thereafter he tied 
himself to the bed with his suspenders. But he did not think 
that this was enough. He bought ropes to tie himself to the 
bed more securely. The manner in which he tied himself 
to his bed is significant. He tied a knot on the handle of 
the sleeping couch. Another knot he passed through the 
button hole in his drawers. This act expresses, among other 
things, his fixation on the family. For the past couple of 
years he has slept well only when he thus tied himself down. 
Towards the end of the course of treatment, during the 
third month, he confessed to me for the first time that he 
had repeatedly stolen books from stores. He went to the 
stores intending to buy books. He is an enthusiastic biblio- 
phile, specially fond of older editions. Large stacks of books 
would be placed before him and, as he was well known, he 
was allowed to browse leisurely among them. On such occa- 
sions he would stealthily put a little book into his pocket. 
As compensation for the theft he would then buy a lot of 
worthless books, paying for them a higher price. He has also 
stolen stamps from friends as well as in stores. He has some- 
times taken money from his sister's purse, although there was 
no need for him to do so, and from his brother he took 
preferably pencils and stamps. 
After the identification with the deceased sister was dis- 
covered and his hidden self-reproaches were ferreted out, the 
subject's morbid dread disappeared. He can now go out 
unattended. He visits the Prater, without any feelings of 
anxiety, his spells have left him. But he is still afraid of 
his sleep walking and shows other remnants of his old para- 
pathic disorder. These symptoms disappeared only after a 
certain day-dream fantasy of his was brought into conscious- 
ness, namely, that he has assaulted and infected his sister. 
He harbored a regret that he was not the one who seduced 
her. This incident he dreams of and repeats again and again 
during his mental lapses. THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
313 
In the course of the analysis he became aware of his feeling- 
attitude towards his parents and other members of the family. 
He was afraid of poisoned food. He often exchanged his 
plate with his brother. This fear was due to his criminal 
fantasies which, in turn, were proven to have their roots in 
his jealousy and greed. He wanted to have the love of his 
parents to himself alone and to be their only heir. He had 
to expatiate for these evil thoughts. He struggled bitterly 
against thoughts of suicide: he wanted to throw himself out 
of the window, take poison, or shoot himself through the head. 
The amnesia (forgetfulness) under which he covered his 
childhood years is practically cleared up. But only towards 
the end of the fourth month did a certain dream bring to 
light a new fact. The dream was as follows : 
Great riot at the Prater. The police are riding down the crowd. 
I am not a participant but I want to look on. I feel as if I 
were drunk and, stumbling along, I fall down and get soiled. 
Next I am in my father's place of business. I know I am about 
to do something that is wrong. My conscience troubles me. I 
cut 5 meters off a roll of goods. Perhaps it was only 3 meters. 
Then I wake up with dread and palpitation. 
His father, a cloth manufacturer, owns a large warehouse. 
He has sometimes cut off small pieces from a roll to play 
with and usually has given these pieces away to his playmates. 
Once a clerk, suspected of having damaged a roll of goods, 
was discharged for it. He kept still at the time and that 
troubles him to this day. The numbers 5 and 3 bring to his 
mind a significant occurrence. He was 5 years of age at the 
time, his deceased sister 3 years of age. They played "store" 
with small remnants, which father always brought them. 
In the course of the game they touched each other's genitalia. 
He tried to crawl on top of his sister, but she cried out and 
he was forced to desist. 
This infantile root explains his oniomania and his guilty 
conscience toward his sister. She was the little sister who died 
afterwards. He was the first one to awaken her sexuality. 
Perhaps she would not have yielded later to temptation had 
he not roused in her so prematurely the desire. 314 
PECULIARITIES OF BEHAVIOR 
With the oniomania and the craving to touch things he 
repeated this most important incident of his early life. His 
cleptomaniac impulses are also explainable by that. The first 
book he stole was a rare edition of Faust. His deceased sis- 
ter's name was Gretel (Margaret). 
All parapathiac symptoms cleared up rapidly after this ex- 
planation. He can study once more, is a diligent student, 
and intends, after passing his examination, to study medicine 
and become a psychoanalyst. 
This case shows a close resemblance to the last previous 
one. We find here oniomania, compulsive touching of things, 
and mild cleptomania. But the case is further complicated by 
somnambulic states and a tendency to suicide, although this 
tendency is strongly fought against and asserts itself only 
now and then. The last dream contains a reference to the 
traumatic incident involving the sister combined with a state 
of mental abstraction. 
This case, too, shows the pressure of an infantile incident 
which craves repetition. The death of the sister and the 
tragic circumstances of her illness explain the severity of 
the parapathy which was, in the first place, the expression 
of a guilty conscience. The morbid impulses seek an outlet. 
First they exhaust themselves in symptomatic attacks. That 
explains a remarkable fact which the patient relates to us. 
After these attacks involving loss of consciousness he always 
feels better for a few weeks. Finally the impulses turn in- 
ward and against his own self. The thought of suicide 
grows progressively stronger, threatening to overwhelm him. 
The introverted impulse is shown also in cleptomania. 
There are patients who steal from themselves. They misplace 
certain things, or lose them, they hide things in a state of 
semi-consciousness, only to search feverishly afterwards, and 
may accuse others of theft. Such incidents, to be found in 
the clinical history of many parapathiac women, seemed un- 
explainable heretofore. Only if we take into consideration 
the parapathiacs' tendency to show off (Schauspielernatur) 
and bear in mind that these patients are capable of keeping 
up endlessly a double role, can we arrive at an understanding 
of these self-robberies; these acts show the same mental THE SEXUAL ROOTS OF CLEPTOMANIA 
315 
mechanism as the anonymous letters full of imprecations and 
insults which parapathiac women send to themselves or to 
their husbands ("poison pen" writers). They betray an ex- 
tensive mental dissociation. 
The last patient traces his cleptomaniac impulse back to a 
childhood game. They played judge and executioner. Five 
slips were drawn. Judge, complainant, executioner, thief, and 
innocence. The judge asked the complainant to produce the 
thief. If the complainant drew the slip marked innocence, 
he was punished, otherwise the one drawing the thief slip 
received the punishment. Our patient was often beaten by 
his brothers and sisters because he was usually the unlucky 
one to draw the thief slip and he was always regarded as 
the thief. But he still carries on this game. In his para- 
pathiac disorder he was judge, executioner, complainant, thief 
and innocent at the same time. He played all the roles, the 
executioner's best of all. He condemned himself to the most 
severe punishments. An ambitious student, he could study 
no longer. A fiery eroticist, he could not love. He stood 
in the midst of life's stream but did not dare reach out his 
hand to quench his thirst. He did not dare actually to turn 
thief and to take for himself what fate denied him. He 
robbed himself of success and of enjoyment, he withheld from 
himself the understanding of his trouble. He turned blind, 
and failed to see the connections which were actually too 
obvious to escape attention. NOTES TO VOLUME ONE 
CHAPTER I 
1 Triebe und Triebschicksale. Vierte Sammlung der Beitrdge zur Neu- 
rosenlehre. Hugo Heller, Wien, 1918. 
2 Die Hoffnungslosigkeit alter Psychologic. Verlag Marhold, Halle a. S., 
1907. 
3 A conception formulated first by Schopenhauer in his Metaphysik der 
Geschlechtsliebe. 
41 cannot accept Freud's view when he sets up the self-instinct as 
apart from the sexual instinct, thus following the suggestion of Gross, 
who distinguishes between instincts of first and second order. I consider 
every craving part of self-instinct and to separate the self and sex instincts 
seems to me an artifact. Every instinct is naturally also self-instinct. 
5 The term hypnoidal state we owe to Kretschmer. 
6 Unconscious kiss reflex. 
7 Of course, when I use briefly the term instinct, as I do for the sake of 
convenience, I mean the forms under which the instincts manifest them- 
selves. 
CHAPTER II 
1 These are by their very nature the two mainsprings of the life urge, 
of the craving for euphoria: the continual yearning for newer, higher 
forms of gratification while holding on to the old. (Nietzsche's law of 
the "eternal return of sameness," or the conservatism of the gratification 
urge: "Every euphoric state craves eternity, a deep, deep eternity.") 
2 Was im Grunde der Seele ruht. IV. Aufl., Paul Knepler, Wien. 
Transl.: Depths of the Soul, Moffat, Yard Co., pubs., New York. 
3 Zur Psychopathologie des Landstreichers. Eine klinische Studie. Joh. 
Ambros. Barth, Leipzig, 1906. 
4 Heilbronner records his experiences, Ueber Fugue und Fuguezustande, 
in the Jahrb. f. Psychiatric (vol. XXIII, 1903). Based on a wealth of 
observations he arrives at the following conclusions: 1. Of those who 
suffer from fugue states, excluding the paralogies, only one-fifth show 
distinct signs of epilepsy. 2. The wandering mania of epileptics and non- 
epileptics show no essential differences. 3. Hystericals are more numerous 
among these sufferers than epileptics. 4. Therefore the fugues should 
not be considered the equivalents of epilepsy. 5. Fugues are reactions of 
psychopathic personalities against dysphoric conditions. The author points 
out also the relationship of this condition to dipsomania. An exhaustive 
bibliography is included in this work. 
5 Chapter XX: The Mental Treatment of Epilepsy. 
6 A Case of Compulsive Migration, Psyche and Eros, vol. II, No. 5, 1921. 
7 We may conceive the permanent impulse as the sum of impulse dis- 
charges, approximately like the motor which is driven by a rapid succes- 
sion of minute gas explosions. 
8 Psychoanalysis and Medicine, Mediz. Klinik, 1922, Nos. 11 and 12. 
9 In certain cases there is a striking combination of the identification 
with Christ and the wandering mania, such as we have seen already in the 
Morel case. Among the wanderers there are many prophets who preach 
317 318 
NOTES 
the Word of God, founders of new religions, reformers, etc. Sometimes 
the condition is combined with sadism, which, of course, is given a re- 
ligious turn. As an illustration I may mention the Sect of "Wanderers," 
described by August Lowenstimm (Gross' Archiv, vol. I, p. 228 passim) : 
Around 1840 there arose in the Jaroslav District, Russia, the Sect known 
as the wanderers. The wanderers have no priests and teach the doctrine 
that Anti-Christ reigns on earth. Therefore living in towns and villages 
is sinful. The government and church officials are serving the Anti-Christ. 
For practical reasons they distinguish two classes of believers: 1. The 
true Christians, who wander all the time. They recognize no authority 
over them and are made up to a large extent of riff-raff. 2. The Chris- 
tians maintaining a home; these do not give up their contact with town 
life; but it is their duty to care for the true Christians. Various rumors 
are current with regard to their alleged burial customs. The dead dis- 
appear without a trace. They are "on the pilgrimage." The wanderers 
kill off their dying members, especially the stay-at-home, because he has 
had an easier life on earth. The dying man's body is cleansed and dressed 
in white. He is stretched in the corner of the room where holy images 
hang on the wall. Then one of the believers puts a pillow on the helpless 
man's face and sits on it, thus putting an end to the poor man's plight. 
This form of murder is called the red death by the people because the 
pillow, like the hangman's shirt, is red. These Sectarians were mentioned 
in literature for the first time in 1883, especially the Kovaloff case, a 
peasant family of believers, who in order to escape the census taker, had 
themselves walled in, i.e., entombed alive. 
10Disorders of the Instincts and the Emotions, vol. III. 
11 Sometimes the dream inciting to a crime may date back several years. 
Naecke (Gross' Arch., vol. XIV, p. 363) reports the case of an Armenian 
who killed his 7-months-old baby boy on the church steps. It was the 
fulfillment of a vow made to God in a dream, during a severe illness, 
two years before. The man got well, the boy was born, and seven months 
later, in a dream, God reminded him of the promise. His prayer to be 
released of the vow was refused, therefore he killed the child. 
12 Cp. my monograph, The Will to Sleep, Bergmann, Wiesbaden. 
13 Uebcr Nachtwandeln und Mondsucht. Eine medisinisch-literarische 
Studie. Authorized translation: Mental and Nervous Disease Monograph 
Series, N. Y. 
14 Loc. cit., pp. 169-179. 
15 Sadger gives a good survey of sleep walking, as described in litera- 
ture, with accurate indication of sources. He mentions the autobiography 
of Friedrich Burdach, the famous anatomist and physiologist; Ganghofer's 
Lebenslauf eincs Optimisten; Tieck's novel, Der Mondsuchtige; Abeld, 
by Sophus Michaelis; Jorn Uhl, by Frenssen; Maria, by Otto Ludwig; 
the same author's Buschnovelle; Kleist's Prim von Homburg; Anzen- 
gruber's Das Siihnkind, and Shakespeare's Macbeth, which is given an ex- 
tensive analysis. 
16 In Sophus Michaelis's Abeld, a novel, the heroine hates the knight and 
shows him no favors. Nevertheless she finds her way to his bed at night. 
After complete sexual intercourse with him, having spent many nights in 
his arms while in a somnambulic state, she lets him go. During the dream 
state her hatred is transposed into the positive feeling of sympathy, the 
sex struggle is abolished and she is once more a wife in the full sense of 
the term. 
17 Obvious incestuous feeling-attitude in both instances (author's note). 
18 Heimweh und Selbstmord, Hildeshausen, 1835. Quoted by Jaspers. 
19 Un cas d'impulsion sportive ou ludomanie. Journ. de med. de Bor- 
deaux, 1896. NOTES 
319 
20 Karl Ponitz, Psychologic und Psychopathologie der Fahnenflucht itn 
Kriege. Gross' Arch., vol. LXVIII. Vid. also Fritz Byloff, Ueber den 
Beweggrund der Fahnenflucht (Desertion). Ztschr. f. Neurol, u. Psych., 
1916. 
21 Int-ernat. Ztschrf. f. Psychoanalyse, vol. IV, 1918. 
22 Tausk, Diagnostische Erort erungen auf Grund der sogenannten 
Kriegspsychosen, W m W., 1916. Vid. also Dr. Oskar Voltar {Ueber den 
Bewusstseinzustand wahrend der Fugue. Jahrb. f. Psychol, u. Neurol., 
vol. XXVII, No. 1, 1906), who points out that dysphoria precedes the 
fugue. The dysphoria is sometimes coextensive with a feeling of loneli- 
ness. He records the interesting case of a pyromaniac, who stood in a 
peculiar relationship to his sister. We shall refer to this case in our 
discussion of pyromania. Another writer who points out that dysphoric 
states precede dromomanic acts is Dr. Stephan Rosenthal (Eine Verstim- 
mung mit IVandertrieb und Beziehungswahn. Jahrb. f. Psych, u. Neurol., 
vol. XXXII, No. 3, 1911). He describes a patient who ran to his brother 
a number of times. Though both authors mention the relations of these 
patients to their family, neither fully recognizes the significance of this 
determinant. 
CHAPTER HI 
1 The great hero who holds himself out as a man of strong will who 
can subject all others to his will power, and a man who can read the 
thoughts of others, betrays here, for the first time, his inner weakness. 
He is a serious parapathiac, afraid of appearing ridiculous. I call attention 
also to his anxious inquiries about the husband and to his endeavours to 
keep everything as secret as possible. Obviously he, too, is fixed on his 
mother, or her double, which explains his functional impotence. Among 
the impotents and persons of weak will power,-pronounced hypobuliacs 
in Kretchmer's sense,-we find very many hypnotists and pschotherapeut- 
ists, persons who are anxious to influence, educate, or heal others. They 
have one supreme aim: to impress their personality on others. In the 
present instance, that was not difficult. Dora, fascinated by his telepathic 
gifts, saw in him a higher type of being,-some one to whom she must 
unconditionally surrender. 
2 Psychic betrayal: She recognizes the animal nature in him at once. 
3 He finds Dora a very wonderful woman, which is, neither physically, 
nor mentally, true of her. But this statement is enough to gratify her 
vanity and to inflate her self-love to paroxysmal heights. She is now 
compared to Nora. We shall see later that, accepting this identification, 
she acts out the role during her hysterical delirium. She begins to feel 
that she is a Nora, that she is misunderstood,-a woman who has found, 
at last, the man who truly appreciates her. Now she feels she is under- 
stood. As in an analysis, she transfers her emotions,-in this instance, 
to the painter. He becomes her ideal,-brother, father and lover. She 
finds her God. She finds, at last, the man who appreciates her at her 
worth,-the man who understands her. She is no longer alone. Her days 
of wandering are over. He, the great man, the man of strong will, the 
famous painter, has entered her life. Thus far her love affairs were but 
petty episodes. The true adventure of her life is just beginning. 
4 His sadism becomes gradually more obvious. She is a docile child, 
he the strict father. Above all, she must not laugh. He thus betrays his 
great fear of woman, a fear which he tries to hide under the cover of his 
cynicism and his pose of severity. 
6 The hero trembles. . . . 320 
NOTES 
8 This is by no means true. He interests him, therefore he finds him 
interesting. 
7 First he entices her into breach of marital faithfulness, then he rouses 
the voice of her conscience. 
8 Of course, she did not look up into the air, but gazed at the sky. She 
feels herself compelled to sin,-it is an instance of "pleasure without 
guilt." God sees her and will forgive her. 
9 His sadism grows. He began with compliments; now he shows himself 
as brutal and cynical as possible. He plays a little at "Wedekind." 
10 The hero trembles at the thought of her husband, who makes truly a 
sorry figure. 
11 The first news about her sick mother and from her brother. She is 
apparently indifferent. 
12 Contrast in the behaviour towards the mother: He, the dutiful son,- 
she, the frivolous daughter! 
13 We note that this heroic deed inspires the painter. 
14 One of the few provocations which make her discern something un- 
worthy in him. Obviously she could not get over the fact that the 
physician had abandoned her on account of her lack of money. 
16 Not true. The "hero" is afraid of the little dog. 
18 Her uneasy conscience begins to assert itself. 
17 He avoids a direct answer. If he should advise her to wire home, he 
may lose his erotic plaything. 
18 The poor husband, who plays the most tragic role in this droll comedy, 
is a hand fetishist. Consequently he is jealous only when another man 
kisses, or admires, his wife's hand. He would forgive sexual intercourse 
more easily than he could overlook a hand kiss. 
19 The painter accentuates this poor woman's inner conflict. He tries 
to go on the excursion with her alone. She waits for Mrs. M., and mean- 
while she writes to her brother, i.e., she thinks of her sick mother. 
Previously she had met also his father (I have omitted this passage), an 
incident which reminded her of her own father. All these details are 
significant. He invades this conflict, making it more difficult for her to 
write. But that only rouses her stubbornness; and the little incident marks 
the beginning of her eventual flight from him. The brother, after all, 
was the stronger attraction. 
29 A tell-tale symptom marking the beginning of her resistance. 
21 Second falsehood, marking the reaction of contrariness. 
22 The "hero!" 
28 Unconscious irony. He, good-natured! His immeasurable conceit is 
displayed in the question. 
24 She recognizes that he is an abnormal being. 
26 Symptomatic manifestation of her inner resistance and of the voice 
of her conscience. For similar instances, vid., Stekel, The Nervous 
Stomach. 
28 Betrays his particular delicacy. He does not act as the instinct 
prompts him, to a certain extent he fulfills a duty. 
27 Conventional lie. 
28 She was completely anesthetic. 
29 Regret over the whole incident 1 Thought of husband, brother, mother, 
God! 
80 He tortures her deliberately,-to test his powers. 
31 A pronounced Narcissist, he imagines that all the women fall in love 
with him. Obviously he ensnares all his victims as he ensnared Dora. 
He begins with flattery ("you seem to be a wonderful woman!"), then 
he has recourse to waking suggestions, commanding them to fall in love 
with him, analyzes them, in order to bring about an emotional transference, 
and, in the end, is very happy because all the women like him. Once a NOTES 
321 
woman gets into his clutches, it pleases him to test his powers on her 
and to show his scorn of the sex. 
32 While attesting his personal beauty, she hears an inner voice denying 
it; she compares him with the donkey in the Midsummer Night's Dream. 
She comes upon a deep truth: love,-even imaginary love,-is blind. 
33 He does not want to be betrayed by any woman. He is afraid of 
women! 
34 Sexual aversion transferred to food! Moreover, in her choice of the 
food, she differentiates herself completely from him, although he, obvi- 
ously, expects her to choose the things that he orders. 
35 But not in bed ... it should be added. 
36 He courts the dog's love, though he fears the dog. 
37 The hero takes good care to insure himself against reproaches. 
38 The incident which follows is to be taken only in a symbolic sense, 
when we know that such parapathiac persons always confound reality and 
symbol. The frontier becomes for her the border of that which is per- 
missible, and the limit of her daring. She wants to venture beyond her 
strength, i.e., to advance beyond the range of her personality. Certain 
inner inhibitions of a religious nature forbid her to overreach. She wants 
to break these fetters. She has experienced no orgasm. He wants to 
awaken her senses. He has not yet succeeded. Her senses are not yet 
roused beyond the limits. Now she wants to go beyond the barrier with 
him in order to attain gratification, in spite of her inner moral inhibitions. 
This is not merely a whim. It is a symbolic expression of her conflict,-a 
parallel, an oracle: If I step over this frontier, I will succeed also in 
overstepping successfully the moral barrier. 
39 Death wishes. 
40 It is the same thing to her. 
41 Careful probing about possible danger ahead. 
42 Significant in view of the "Nora" identification. 
43 Symbolic act. She wanted to throw away the chain which binds her 
to sensuality. 
44 Growing resistance. 
45 Noticing her interest in everything pertaining to prostitution, he dwelt 
on that theme. She heard the silent reproach: You are not better! For 
he had seen her naked and she had shown herself to him deliberately on 
the following morning. 
46 He is a typical voyeur. The infantile root is here disclosed. He is 
a psycho-sexual infantilist and behaves like a child. The whole episode 
gives the impression of a couple of children playing. 
47 He holds himself out, contrasting himself with his mother. 
48 Bladder (urinary) sexuality. Vid., Stekel, Psychosexual Infantilism, 
The Infantile Emotional Disorders of Adults. 
49 Her better self protests against the humiliation. 
50 Meaning: she must not expect true love, which is what she really 
yearns after. 
51 She deceives herself ! 
52 Symbolic purification. 
53 Does not agree with her Midsummer Night's Dream fantasy. 
54 Fear of being reproached by his mother. 
65 The servant girl, of course, is also in love with him. 
58 Symbolic purification after kissing and fellatio. 
57 Jealousy. 
58 The first hallucination sets in at this juncture. Her evil conscience 
requires a cleansing. Her husband's dream reminds her of the painter's 
telepathic powers. Did her husband suspect something of her previous 
day's adventure and dream about it? She tried to benumb her mind with 
laughter. She had not slept for two nights and had eaten almost nothing. 322 
NOTES 
Her frigidity made her unhappy. Where it should run hot it ran cold. 
The stove assumed human shape. It was bewitched. The whole bath 
hissed at her as if to say, "You will remain filthy! No bath can help 
you!" She gave her own interpretation to the hallucination: "He," the 
all-powerful, the great man, had forbidden her to bathe. At the same time 
his light-heartedness enraged her. He could laugh and joke with other 
women, and allowed himself to be called away as if nothing had happened. 
She felt the need of confessing. Hence, she called out to her husband 
that they had "crossed the barrier!" 
Her paralogy sets in with this hallucination. After this her hallucinations 
follow one another in rapid succession and she goes through all the sub- 
sequent experiences in a dazed state of mind. 
59 She wants to be "pure"; he defiles her. 
60 Obvious symbolic action, disclosing her mental state (psychic be- 
trayal). 
61 Bipolar tendency: she wants to remain as she was, after all! What 
was the use of cleanliness? She could never get rid of filth. 
62 Rationalization during the delirium. 
63 He thinks of other conquests and rouses her jealousy. 
64 Her resistance grows. 
65 Substitution. 
66 Her subjective feeling of disgust prevents her from taking food. 
67 Because she surmises the symbolic significance of the act, she does 
not want his parents to know about it. She thinks of her mother in 
that connection. 
68 A conversation symptom-somatization (bodily jargon) : She has 
burned her hand. One should not play with fire! 
69 Obvious symbolism. 
70 She reproaches herself on account of her mother: i. She has neg- 
lected to write her at length. 2. While her mother was ill she started a 
love affair. 3. Her mother is the representative of the moral imperative. 
What would the mother say, if she suspected how her daughter behaved? 
The boiling and sizzling stove symbolized the mother who had often 
admonished her: Do not play with fire! Be a decent woman 1 
71 The pressing voice of her conscience! 
72 Influence of jealousy. 
73 She betrays the weakness of her will and ascribes to him the respon- 
sibility for her fickleness. 
74 He always assumes the attitude of the "cynic." 
76 She has, at last, recovered her own will. 
76 The cause of her moral reaction was the old gentleman who reminded 
her of the excursion. She ascribes her revulsion to telepathic influence, 
emanating from the painter. But it was merely her mental preoccupation 
with the painter and her fear that the old gentleman might begin to talk 
about the excursion and she might thus be led into betraying the fact that 
she had been alone with the painter. 
77 This is the second time that she forgets the key to her door and 
has to go for it. The significance of this act may be explained as follows: 
Her key belongs to her husband. She has forgotten herselfi. This makes 
clear the subsequent occurrence about the marriage ring. She also makes 
her first confession to her husband when she ascribes her troubles to the 
excursion. Every time she runs from "him," she forgets the key to her 
husband's room-she seems unable to get back to her husband. 
78 Transposition of affect. She feels herself unworthy of her husband. 
79 She seeks her mother. 
80 Hallucination or conversion symptom ? 
81A counter-force draws her in another (moral) direction. NOTES 
323 
82 Play on words or betrayal ? 
83 Symbol of purity. 
84 He seeks a mother-imago. 
86 She does not want to accept anything from him any more. She 
turns to deeds of charity and distributes alms to poor children (penitential 
acts). 
88 Memory of the fellatio. 
87 She lies. She perceives yesterday's experiences also as swinish. 
88 He is a dog to her (bipolar feeling-attitude). 
89 This conduct becomes plain when we look upon money as a symbol 
for love. 
80 Discloses her religious determinants. 
91 The voyeur, who had asked her deliberately to undress before him, 
suddenly assumes a moral attitude. 
92 He does not observe her moral reaction and remains a brutal cynic. 
93 Symbolic representation of her adventure. She imagined that she 
had imbibed long drafts from the cup of love. As a matter of fact she 
had not enjoyed a swallow of it. 
94 She assumes the role of Nora, who had a stormy reckoning with her 
husband. But she feels relieved because she had revealed the truth to 
her husband. The chief question is: Did this coward, who was always 
afraid of being discovered and most anxious to avoid any scandal, really 
ask her to tell everything, or is this a hallucination on her part? This 
important question will be answered at the conclusion of the record. At 
any rate she acts as if he had asked her to do so,-as if this were a great 
love affair! In this hallucination she goes through the great adventure 
of her life. 
95 Hallucination. 
98 We know that she is jealous of this girl. 
97 The blue ribbon ties her to the painter. She wants to flee to him, 
but returns to her husband. 
98 Her husband, in his helplessness, makes a pathetic figure; obviously 
he is still a child, in spite of his age. He faces the situation helplessly, 
concerned only about his health and afraid to lose his wife who had 
become a thorough mother substitute for him. 
99 She wants to keep away from the "animal"; at the same time she 
obeys it. 
100 Self-accusation, in order to deepen her self-abasement. 
101 We note that she does not ask too high a price for Mr. N. 1 
102 Obviously, "much more" is meant. Her manuscript contains this 
error; she thus discloses that she loves her husband more than the painter. 
103 Of course, that is not true. Her fantasy paints a great and all- 
consuming love in order that she may justify her conduct to herself and 
thus allay her conscience. The subsequent developments disclose that her 
mother and her brother mean much more to her than the painter. 
104 The psychoanalyst who had treated her husband. 
105 Meanwhile she had received a letter from her mother. At any rate 
she reproaches herself for having taken little account of the earlier re- 
ports of her mother's illness. At this juncture begins the flight home. 
Long before that she had advised her husband to go back to his mother. 
In her predicament she flees to the woman to whom she looks for pro- 
tection and advice. But this inner voice, which calls her away from the 
painter, she conceives as if it were a wish. 
108 This woman's longing for a strong man who shall be her leader, 
lover and protector, becomes intelligible when we picture to ourselves, 
by way of contrast, her pathetic husband, who, as we know, is but a 
helpless child. From a psychologic standpoint, the husband's conduct is 
extraordinarily interesting. He is ready to forgive her everything, if 324 
NOTES 
he can thereby insure his peace of mind and good care. But he cannot 
give up his card playing. He is a skilful card player and in that con- 
nection able to prove his superiority. His other passion is music, which 
he cultivates as a dilettante, but not without talent. He is not so blind 
as his wife thinks. He does not want to see, because he is glad when 
she does not reproach him for his impotence. He does not oppose her 
flight; he allows her own whim to prevail, and obeys her as a child obeys 
its mother. 
107 Note the repetition and the emphasis! 
108 She cannot mix black and white-the contrary tendencies of her 
soul do not fuse. 
109 It is striking how many times she runs up and down the stairs 
instead of using the elevator. She does not know where she belongs. 
She always forgets something. (The moral instruction she received from 
her mother!) She is confused and seeks orientation. At the same time 
she is well aware of her confused state of mind and knows that she is 
posing. This quasi-awareness is very characteristic of the parapathic 
states of mental confusion. 
110 She lets herself be led by the "animal" nature and in every chance 
occurrence she seeks an oracle. 
111 She is not a lady; she is a whore! 
112 The patient gives a wonderful description of the unrest which tor- 
ments her. She is torn asunder. She has broken away from the painter, 
whose influence threatened to overwhelm her, and runs to her mother. But 
she struggles under the influence of contrary (bipolar) tendencies. She 
is pulled back and she is drawn forward. Consequently she misses all 
trains to Vienna, in spite of her exertions. She compares her state of 
mind very fittingly with the feeling of inhibition in dreams when we want 
to run but our feet are heavy as if paralyzed! This state arises also 
through inner conflict. Two contrary impulses battle to control her mind. 
113 Nora! 
114 She sees her whole family. She projects her subjective images to 
the surrounding world. 
115 The physician whom she truly loved. 
116 This is the third time that she has forgotten a key. 
117 Representation of her divided mind. 
118 Her memory was clear to this point. Now there follows a period 
submerged under complete amnesia. She found herself suddenly at the 
railroad station in B., spoke irrationally, behaved very suspiciously and 
was taken to the hospital. She gives us an impressive account of her 
gradual return to consciousness. Her flight was over. Her psychic con- 
flict had stretched beyond the limits of her endurance. Her moral con- 
science drove her to her mother, love apparently chained her to the painter, 
but in reality held her to her husband, whom she loved after her manner 
and to whom she felt herself tied and indebted. She felt the tug of the 
fetters (the blue ribbon), but she did not know to whom they really tied 
her. (Recollection of Traum durch die D'dmmcrung, one of her favorite 
songs.) 
119 She seems to think always of "him." She uses "him" to rid herself 
of him! 
120 She cancels her excursion with the painter. 
121 Recollection of the mother's enemas. Symbolic cleansing. 
122 She had worn those clothes on the memorable excursion. 
123 Reference to her husband. 
124 The eye as symbol for the vagina. She must stay there until her 
inflammation is over (until she is through with her menstruation). 
125 Recollection of the painter's phallus. 
126 Symbolic purification-dissolution of the conflict. NOTES 
325 
127 She goes again through an experience. 
428 She cannot recall any longer the painter's face! 
129 She recognizes a part of the truth-particularly her mental conflict. 
130 A false memory. He had told her the contrary! 
131 He becomes considerate when it is too late. 
CHAPTER IV 
1 "That is precisely the trouble: The man in trouble is also in liquor." 
(Busch.) 
2 Vid. Chapter on Homosexuality and Alcohol; also Chapter on Jeal- 
ousy, which contains a number of important points bearing on this theme, 
in author's Bi-Sexual Love and The Homosexual Neurosis, Badger, Gor- 
ham Press, Boston, pubs., both translated by Dr. James S. Vatv Teslaar. 
3 In David Copperfield, Dickens has described in masterly fashion the 
figure of an inebriate Notary who after his wife's death becomes emo- 
tionally fixed on his daughter. 
4 For that reason the danger of inebriety is greater in the rural regions. 
The tipsy rural practitioner, or intellectual of any calling compelled to 
live in the country, is a well known type. 
5 Note the characteristic ending of Leuthold's drink song: Und bei den 
Pausanenstoss-en-die eitel Wind,-lasst uns lachen der Grossen,-die 
kleine sind: "And at the sound of the high praises,-empty wind,-let 
us laugh at the Great,-who are really petty." This tendency to belittle 
is shared by many alcoholics who thus compensate their failure by be- 
numbing their self-consciousness. Self-consciousness (the feeling of per- 
sonality) is enhanced most readily by belittling one's rivals, those who 
have achieved something worth while. Unfortunately this tendency to 
depreciate others plays a great role not only in alcoholism, but it shows 
itself also in the scientific circles. Mental workers, especially artists, are 
prone to overestimate their own works and underestimate their rival's 
achievements. But, as is well known, artisans, too, show a like disposi- 
tion. For instance, the tailor who looks at a customer's new suit and 
exclaims: "Who made this alleged coat for you?" only to find out that the 
coat in question was tailored in one of his own shops, is a familiar char- 
acter in comedy. 
6 An excellent illustration showing that even small doses of alcohol are 
enough to release homosexual and criminal trends is Birnbaum's account of 
Oehlenschlager: "In those days and through later years I had a wonderful 
dream, a sort of nightmare. I dreamed I was lying in my bed, which was 
true; I saw plainly my sleeping room again, though it was dark. Next 
I perceived a robber advancing towards me with a dagger in his hand. 
Full of dread I rose very carefully so as to crawl out of bed, advance 
behind his back and tear the knife out of his hand. The moment my foot 
touched the floor, I woke up and found myself standing and trembling in 
my bare feet. Years afterwards, when I abandoned my customary brandy 
nightcap and in the Summer time diluted my wine with water, the thieves 
disappeared from my dreams." (Birnbaum, Psychopathologische Doku- 
mente, pp. 18-19.) 
7 An anecdote illustrates pithily the drinker's mental struggle and his 
defeat. A peasant addicted to the habit promised his parish priest most 
earnestly to give up drink. "Put yourself under the protection of the 
good spirit; do not allow the evil spirit to mislead you!" the well-meaning 
priest urged him. The peasant passed by a tempting inn. Within him 
the good spirit and the evil spirit were having a terrible fight over the 
possession of his soul. "Oh, well," reflected the peasant, "let them fight 
it out and settle it between themselves. Meanwhile I'll be going in." The 326 
NOTES 
story discloses a deep truth. Most parapathiacs behave like this peasant. 
They imagine that they can preserve a spectator's attitude towards the 
struggle which is going on within them and fail because they are unwilling 
to take sides. 
8 Selbstbekcnntnisse und Fremdzeugnisse aus dem seelischen Grenzlande. 
Berlin, Verlag von Julius Springer Ver lag, Berlin, 1920. 
8 Archiv f. Psychiatric, vol. XXIX, p. 933. 
10Magister Leukhardt, Sein Leben und seine Schicksalc, von ihm selbst 
heschrieben. Martin Morickes Verlag, Miinchen, 1911. 
11 Juliusburger, Zur Psychologic des Alkoholismus. Ztrbl. f. Psycho- 
analyse, vol. Ill, 1913. 
12 Ferenczi, Alkohol und Neurosen, Jahrb. f. Psychoanalyt. Forsch., vol. 
III.-Bleuler, Alkohol und Neurosen. Ibid. 
13 Ein psychologischer Beitrag zur Frage des Alkoholismus. Ztrbl. f. 
Psychoanalyse, vol. Ill, 1913. 
14 Nervoser Charakter; Disposition zur Trunksucht und Erziehung. (In: 
Heilen und Bilden. Verlag Ernst Reinhardt, Miinchen, 1914. 
16 One of the physicians I have treated, a highly intelligent man, was 
addicted to opium. He, too, broke into a medicine closet to steal opium. 
When I asked him for the reason he answered: "I cannot get along or 
be a decent man without the opium. I should have turned into a criminal 
long ago but for the drug." The opium served to narcotize his sadistic 
impulses. 
18 Ueber Zvuei ungevuohnliche Faile von Parasexualitdt (Two Unusual 
Cases of Parasexuality). Ztschr. f. d. ges. Neurol, u. Psychol., vol. 
LXIV, 1921. 
17 A very excellent description of the morphin fiend may be found in 
Robert Hichens's Felix, a novel; also in Klara Bluthgen's Traumelinchen. 
The opium habit and its consequences are traced in Claude Farrere's well 
known novel, Opium, while the drunkard is described in masterly fashion 
in Zola's L'Assommoir. De Quincey's Confessions of an Opium Eater is a 
classic. 
CHAPTER V 
11 once borrowed a nicely bound copy of Darwin's Expression of the 
Emotions. I am usually very prompt in returning books. But this par- 
ticular book remained five years on my library shelves, although the 
owner had repeatedly asked me for it and I visited him often. Every 
time I forgot to take the book along. Once I wrote down a memorandum: 
"Return Darwin's book," and put the note on my desk. But the note got 
shoved off in a corner and it was months even after that before I finally 
returned the book to its owner. 
2 Drcams and Creative Imagination. A Comparative Study of the Un- 
conscious Motives of Artists, Neurotics and Criminals. Translated by 
Dr. James S. Van Teslaar. To be published. 
3 That, too, is traceable to a primordial reaction, back to the period 
when every stranger was a potential enemy and mistrust was a justifiable 
defence measure. 
4 Zur Psychologic und Pathologie sogennanter okkulter Phdnomene. 
Oswald Miitze, Leipzig, 1902. 
5 Eckermann, Gesprache mit Goethe. Vol. Ill, p. 230. Renlam edition. 
6 Peter Altenberg told me once in the course of a private conversation 
that he had not yet read Nietzsche, and that he did not intend to do so. 
Various persons have already told him many of his statements are identical 
with, or, to speak perhaps more correctly, similar to, some of Nietzsche's 
Aphorisms. So long as he did not read Nietzsche, he could calmly main- NOTES 
327 
tain that the thoughts were his own, they came to his mind without the 
inspiration of foreign sources. 
But must Altenberg have read Nietzsche? Of course, he is original, 
he does not need to dip into foreign sources. But is it at all possible for 
him nowadays to escape Nietzsche? Does he not read Nietzsche in the 
modern novel, in the modern poems, in the current dramas? Haven't 
many of Nietzsche's thoughts become already common property? I do 
not mean merely the slogans, almost threadbare, about the "overman" 
and the "blond beast." I refer specially to his noble thoughts contained in 
his Frohliche Wissenschaft and in his Zarathustra. 
7 Wiener klin, Wochenschr., No. 11, 1917. 
8 Hermann Hesse, Klingsors letzter Sotnner. Erzahlung. S. Fischer 
Verlag, Berlin, 1920. 
9 To the girl child, too, the male is the symbol of strength and activity. 
Every crime is, in Adler's sense, a "manly" deed, i.e., an act through which 
the subject tests and proves his own manliness. 
CHAPTER VI 
1 Les voleuses de Grand Magasin. Paris, 1902. 
2 An excellent story by Catulle Mendes relates the experiences of a plain 
country woman while in Paris. She saved for years in order to be able 
to take the journey to the great city. On entering an art store she finds 
there a famous author who admires longingly a certain article but returns 
it back in its place, apparently because the price is beyond his means. 
She steps up and offers the article to the artist, begging him to accept it 
as an admirer's humble offering. He accepts the gift. She has her wish. 
Her desire for adventure is fulfilled. He takes her to his house and they 
spend the night together. Then he takes leave of her. Seriously dis- 
illusioned she throws herself into the Seine. 
3 Wilhelm Braumiiller, Wien u. Leipzig, 1909. 
4 Die sexuelle Wurzel der Kleptomanie. Ztschr. f. Sexualwissenschaft, 
1908, No. 10. Leipzig, Georg H. Wigands Ver lag. 
5 We shall return to this theme again in our account of fetichism, and 
in that connection we will give an interesting case of cleptomania due to 
fetichistic trends. Bloch, too, emphasizes the sexual roots of cleptomania 
in his standard work, quoting Lichtenberg's well known statement that the 
sexual instinct leads readily to crime; furthermore, he approves the pro- 
posed sterilization of criminals. He also recognizes the fact that thefts 
are particularly apt to be indulged in by women during pregnancy or 
during menstruation, as well as during the onset of the climacterium 
(change of life) when the libido undergoes a physiologic stimulation. 
Bloch calls attention to a case in which cleptomania appears to be 
associated with zoophilia. A 13-year-old girl steals only horses and har- 
nesses in use. 
6 To be taken as a substitute theft. She chaperons her daughters to the 
ball where there was obvious danger that one or the other might be "set 
afire" and be taken from her. 
7 I no longer use this device. 
8 On the whole, a rather typical thought among the older women, who 
usually declare: If I regret anything it is that I have been over-cautious 
and so little daring. 
9 Sadger accepts these earlier conclusions to which I had arrived and 
enlarges them. In his Lehre von den Geschlechtsverirrungen (English 
version: Sex Perversions and The Theory of Sex Perversions, 2 vols., 
to be published soon), he states: "Another point seems worthy of em- 
phasis. That all these female fetichists are also cleptomaniac is more than 328 
NOTES 
mere coincidence. Psychologic research has shown us that every article 
stolen by the cleptomaniacs is a substitute for the penis; specifically repre- 
sents either the membrum, of which they have been deprived in their 
earliest childhood-they have come into the world castrated-or, in certain 
other cases, the father's, much longed-for, membrum. ... As among the 
male perverts the fetich is regularly a substitute for the exposed female 
genitalia, so is the fetich among these women an equivalent for the penis 
they seek." 
How one-sided this conception is will be seen later. The problem of 
cleptomania is more complicated than this author is aware. The connec- 
tion between homosexuality and fetichism already shows plainly that the 
penis is not sought always and exclusively by female patients. It is not 
merely a question of the symbolic gratification of sex in some way, but of 
an adequate form of gratification. We meet the masturbator who takes 
something, the heterosexual woman who sticks something in, the homo- 
sexual woman who steals, for instance, a Spieldose (a feminine genital 
symbol) from her woman friend, the masochist, for whom the dread and 
the punishment are the strongest incentives to steal, the sadist who enjoys 
the damage he causes others and with a richer accumulation of psycho- 
analytic data we shall probably find that any of the parapathias may lead 
to cleptomania. Should we assume, therefore, that the castration complex 
plays the chief role in every parapathy? Would that not be reductio ad 
absurdum ? 
10 Taking a "book," means joining the ranks of prostitution. The open 
book, the blank book, etc., have a different symbolic connotation. 
11 Dr. Oskar Pfister, The Psychoanalytic Method. Moffat, Yard & Co., 
N. Y. 
12 The sound association "Uhr-Hur" meaning "watch" (or "time") and 
"Prostitute" (whore), respectively, also plays a certain role. Plainly the 
girl is upbraided. 
33 An interesting mania for time pieces is described by Ludwig Finkh, 
the physician and writer, in his work, Rapunzel, obviously an autobio- 
graphic work. (Stuttgart und Leipzig, 1909.) 
14 The dream is as follows: I am in the bathroom with my younger 
sister. I say to her: "That is good!" I sit down on a narrow plank and I 
have an orgasm which lasts a long time. Afterwards I feel sorry that I 
did this in my sister's presence. 
END OF VOLUME ONE