SnPH^BlTTFs 
* 
A.P. ORDW'AY&CO. W 
Boston.Mdss. ■ - ; 
SlJLPHUi 
. »> 
J 1 i JL »;* y./.-, 
BARN $00R REEL "SHE WIDOW SAKES SHE CAKE" 2 
SULPHUR BITTERS. 
A TEST. 
" What would you do," asked the fireman black 
Of the grimy engineer, 
"If suddenly upon the track 
A woman should appear, 
And suppose you were running a little behind, 
With your gage chock up to ' L, ' 
And the was deaf and dumb and blind, 
And could n'frhgar whistle or bell?" 
" Do?" cried the grimy engineer, 
With a look of cold disdain ; 
"I'd get out there and leave you here 
To take your chance with the train. 
I'd straighten out on that pilot plate, 
And the woman I would snatch 
Before she knew whether we were freight, 
Express, wild, or despatch ! " 
" That," said the fireman, " I call game 1 " 
And he shovelled in the coal, 
And wondered if he'd do the same 
In a similar kind of hole. 
And the headlight cast a long, thin stream 
Through the night of dismal black, 
When suddenly there came the scream 
Of " A woman on the track 1 " 
"Jump!" shrieked the fireman. "There she 
goes! " 
But the engineer sat still, 
And a woman's sorrows, joys, and woc§ 
Were taken like a pill. 
" Why did n't you out on the pilot plate? 
That was the place for you! 
Why did n't you try to avert her fate. 
As you boasted you would do ? " 
" My friend," said the grimy engineer. 
With apologetic cough, 
" That woman knew but trouble here, 
And now she's better off. 
Besides, by grinding her to hash, 
A good fat thing I draw, 
The road will pay five thousand cash, 
And she was - my mother-in-law! " 
/ 
GENTLEMEN, 
said the professor to his medical stu- 
dents assembled in clinic, " I have often 
pointed out to you the remarkable tenden- 
cy to consumption of those who play upon 
wind instruments. In this case now before 
us we have a well-marked development 
of lung disease, and I was not surprised 
to find, on questioning the patient, that he 
is a member of a brass band. Now, sir," 
continued the professor, addressing the 
consumptive, "will you please tell the 
gentlemen what instrument you play on ? " 
" I blays der drum," said the sick man. 
A married woman said to her husband,- 
"You have never taken me to the cemete- 
ry." "No, dear," replied he, "that is a 
pleasure I have yet in anticipation." 
If you wish another copy of 
this paper, send one tivo-cent 
stamp to A, P, OPDJTAY & 
CO., Boston, Mass. 
MARCH, APRIL, MAY 
are undoubtedly the three best months 
in the whole year in which to purify the 
blood, for at no other time is the system 
so susceptible to the cleansing and clean- 
ing out powers of medicine, and now is 
the time to remove the vile and stagnant 
humors and effete matter that accumulates 
during the winter months, waiting only to 
break out in pimples, blotches, and sores. 
A single trial of Sulphur Bitters will 
convince the most sceptical that it is the 
only medicine that is a perfect Blood Pu- 
rifier. 
They Thought I Never Would 
Get Well. 
Wilton, Maine. 
Dear Sirs:- I write you this very thank- 
fully, as I feel that your Sulphur Bitters 
saved my life. I have been sick several 
years with dyspepsia and other complaints, 
and my friends thought I would never get 
well. I was so weak I wanted to sit down 
all the time. I could hardly drag myself 
up stairs so short was my breath, and my 
hands and feet were icy cold. I had a 
scrofulous bunch on my side, which caused 
me much trouble. I had tried every kind 
of medicine without relief, until a kind 
friend sent me a bottle of Sulphur Bitters, 
which I began to take with reluctance; but 
to my great joy I soon began to feel bet- 
ter, my appetite returned, the scrofulous 
swelling is gone, and in short, 11 have 
improved so that I now do a day's work 
every day and feel that I am restored to 
health, and nothing would tempt me to be 
without Sulphur Bitters. 
I am very gratefully yours, 
ABBY WALKER. 
I Know it to be True. 
Lawrence, Mass. 
' I know the above statement to be true. 
I am well acquainted w'ith Miss Walker, 
and that she was in a very feeble condi- 
tion, and that she is now enjoying good 
health, and began to mend from the time 
she began to use Sulphur Bitters, and 
that she is now working every day, which 
she had not done for years. 
I am truly yours, 
DAVID MARDEN. 
I CAN EAT ANYTHING. 
Lawrence, Mass. 
A. P. Ordway & Co.: 
Gentlemen :- I have been troubled with 
a cough and severe pains in my back and 
kidneys for the past six months. I have 
also been troubled with dyspepsia so bad 
that I could hardly retain food on my stom- 
ach. I commenced taking your Sulphur 
Bitters, and felt their good effects from 
the first. Am now on my third bottle, and 
can say I never felt better or stronger in 
my life. I can eat anything and I be- 
lieve Sulphur Bitters to be the best reme- 
dy in the world, for they have cured me. 
Yours, FRANK KNOX. 
SPECDAL OFFER. 
For Three Two-Cent Stamps. 
It should be in the hands of every- 
body ; no household complete without 
it. 
WHAT WE PROPOSE TO DO. 
We will send a copy of Old Dr. 
Kaufmann's 
GREAT MEDICAL WORK 
on disease, its causes and home cure, 
to every family who sends us three 
two-cent stamps to pay postage. Owing 
to the great expense of our lithographic 
plates with which this work is finely 
illustrated we cannot send but one 
copy to each fadlily. 
This work contains the history, 
cause, and tells you how to cure 
a great many diseases ; it also 
contains the Latin signs and ab- 
breviations most commonly used 
in writing physicians' prescrip- 
tions, together with the apothe- 
caries' tables of weights, signs, 
and measures, thus enabling any 
person to see at once what medi- 
cines their doctor gives them 
when under his care. 
Remember, we send but one 
copy to any family. Send three 
two-cent stamps, with your name 
and address written distinctly, 
to A. P. Ordway & Co., Boston, 
Mass., and you will receive a 
copy of this great medical work 
free. 
The President of the Common 
Council says: - 
Lawrence, Mass. 
A. P. OrdwAy &Co. : " 
Gentlemen :-I have used three bottles 
of your celebrated Sulphur Bitters, and 
they have cured me of a chronic bilious- 
ness and constipation, which has beert the 
cause of intense suffering to me for fifteen 
years. I have tried more than a dozen 
different remedies in vain, your Sulphur 
Bitters being the only one that gave me 
any permanent benefit. I have had no 
occasion to take them for four months, as 
I am to all appearances cured. I have 
recommended them to a number of my 
friends, who are now using them with ben- 
eficial results. Yours truly, 
M. F. HUTCHINS.