THE WOMAN OF FORTY EB-LOWRY- MD- THE WOMAN OF FORTY BY THE SAME AUTHOR HERSELF Talks with Women Concerning Themselves $1-25 HIMSELF Talks with Men Concerning Themselves $1.25 PREPARING FOR WOMANHOOD $1.25 CONFIDENCES Talks with a Young Girl Concerning Herself 60 cts. TRUTHS Talks with a Boy Concerning Himself 60 cts. FALSE MODESTY 60 cts. TEACHING SEX HYGIENE 60 cts. THE HOME NURSE $1.25 YOUR BABY A Guide for Mothers $1.25 THE WOMAN OF FORTY BY EDITH B. LOWRY, M.D. Author of “Herself,’* “Himself,” etc. CHICAGO FORBES & COMPANY 1920 COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY FORBES AND COMPANY PREFACE At no period of life is a woman more liable to misunderstand herself and be misunderstood than at the “ dangerous age ” of forty. Upon the care and attention given her body at that time depends her health for the second half of her life. Upon the plans she makes for the future and the path she chooses now depends her happiness and success in life. Too often the latter half of life is to women a time of social detachment, of weakened individual initiative, of old-fashioned knowledge, of ineffi- ciency, of premature retirement and old age. It has been said that this period is now more shamefully wasted than any other of our national resources. This should not be; as the women of forty are the women of mature understanding and of ripe judgment, still possessing abundant health and strength. Let us gather these forces for a definite purpose that they may be an added power in these days of reconstruction. PREFACE If this book succeeds in conveying two messages, one to impress upon the woman of forty the neces- sity of placing her body in a perfect condition to avoid the ills so common to the majority, and the second to present to her the need of a definite plan for future occupation, it will have accomplished its mission. Edith B. Lowry. CONTENTS CHAPTER PAfil I The Woman of Forty 9 II Her Appearance 15 III Her Exercise and Recreation ... 54 IV Her Change of Life . .... 69 V Her Age and Mental Activity . . 80 VI Her General Health 102 VII Her Ambition or Goal 130 VIII Her Business and Professional Life . 156 IX Her Surroundings and Environment . 166 X Her Community Work and Responsi- bility 178 Index 195 THE WOMAN OF FORTY CHAPTER I THE WOMAN OF FORTY The most critical time of a woman’s life is forty. Here often is the turning point of her existence, and upon the care she takes of herself and the manner in which she spends her time during the few years after forty depends her entire future. When a woman reaches her fortieth birthday she usually realizes, perhaps for the first time, that her youth has passed and she has entered all uncon- sciously upon the period of middle age. The ques- tion comes to her of what she should do with the future. Should she settle down to old age, should she make a vain and often laughable effort to re- main youthful, or should she accept her time of life as that of the richest of all — the full bloom of the flower? 9 THE WOMAN OF FORTY Upon her decision depends the health, happiness and success of the second half of her life. It is a well known fact that no one can remain exactly the same for any length of time. By the laws of Na- ture one is either going forward or backward, de- veloping or retrograding. There is no stationary period in life. All during childhood the process of development is threefold,— the body steadily is increasing in size and strength, the mind is expanding and acquiring added knowledge and the spiritual nature is unfold- ing, so that an understanding of right and wrong gradually is being revealed. A young child has no conception of the difference between right and wrong. It is only by patient guidance and experi- ence that he is enabled to come to an understanding of those problems that must be solved by every- one. In all three lines of development there are many people who never seem to have passed beyond child- hood’s limitations. They are stunted, dwarfed and gnarled in one or more respects. We cannot walk a block on a crowded street without encountering those who are dwarfed physically, while the adult 10 THE WOMAN OF FORTY with the mind of a child and the pervert with a dis- torted spiritual nature are numerous. One who is thrown frequently in contact with a variety of individuals of all classes cannot but be impressed with the stunted possibilities of the ma- jority of men and women. All about us we see adults struggling to accomplish tasks that might be done with ease by a well grown child of ten. We see men of forty who are no better developed men- tally nor any more capable of accomplishment than they were at fourteen. Indeed, they have gone backward, for now they have not the capacity for acquiring knowledge that they had at an earlier age. Their minds have lost their power of expansion. These men are the misfits who have failed to make a steady progress, who have been content to remain stationary and so have withered instead of blos- soming. Just where we each, as an individual, stand in this progress of life might well be given a moment’s consideration, especially at this halfway point of our journey. It is customary in business houses to make a yearly report at the end of the financial year, to take 11 THE WOMAN OF FORTY an inventory of the stock on hand, to total up the business of the past year and compare this statement with the results accomplished. In fact, to see if the business is being carried on in such a manner as to give a satisfactory profit to the owners. When the yearly report has been completed it is studied carefully by the directors. Each item is considered by itself and also in comparison with others. No matter how great the income, if it does not bring a reasonable percentage of profit the business, as con- ducted, is considered a failure. In such a case, methods are devised to decrease the expenditures or to increase the receipts. Any concern that does not conduct its affairs by business methods will be a failure. It is the duty of the general manager to watch carefully the little leaks and expenditures which soon would destroy the business, just as a tiny leak in a dike may de- stroy the entire fortifications of the town against the engulfing water. The manager must see that the buying, selling and advertising departments work in harmony, that each aids the other. In the business of life, each individual may be considered as a firm that is made up of several de- 12 THE WOMAN OF FORTY partments. No matter how much is accomplished in one department, a leak in another may destroy the entire structure. Considering each person as a business firm, it might be well to pause and take an inventory or survey of the individual, to dis- cover if he is neglecting one part of the business in order to develop another, if this unequal growth is slowly but surely causing the structure to totter. It might be well to frame a balance of the various activities of life, to study this report, and devise means of harmonizing the various departments. At no other time of life is such an inventory more important than at the age of forty, for upon the plans made at this time depends the health and hap- piness of the entire future. Whether she wishes it or not the average woman comes to a turning point in her life at about this age. Previous to this time she has lived a life, first of youthful freedom from care, then full of the joys of young womanhood, then full of the responsibilities of caring for her growing family or of establishing herself in some profession or business. But now she has reached a period when she can fold her hands and watch her children develop in their own manner, or she has 13 THE WOMAN OF FORTY an inventory of the stock on hand, to total up the business of the past year and compare this statement with the results accomplished. In fact, to see if the business is being carried on in such a manner as to give a satisfactory profit to the owners. When the yearly report has been completed it is studied carefully by the directors. Each item is considered by itself and also in comparison with others. No matter how great the income, if it does not bring a reasonable percentage of profit the business, as con- ducted, is considered a failure. In such a case, methods are devised to decrease the expenditures or to increase the receipts. Any concern that does not conduct its affairs by business methods will be a failure. It is the duty of the general manager to watch carefully the little leaks and expenditures which soon would destroy the business, just as a tiny leak in a dike may de- stroy the entire fortifications of the town against the engulfing water. The manager must see that the buying, selling and advertising departments work in harmony, that each aids the other. In the business of life, each individual may be considered as a firm that is made up of several de- 12 THE WOMAN OF FORTY partments. No matter how much is accomplished in one department, a leak in another may destroy the entire structure. Considering each person as a business firm, it might be well to pause and take an inventory or survey of the individual, to dis- cover if he is neglecting one part of the business in order to develop another, if this unequal growth is slowly but surely causing the structure to totter. It might be well to frame a balance of the various activities of life, to study this report, and devise means of harmonizing the various departments. At no other time of life is such an inventory more important than at the age of forty, for upon the plans made at this time depends the health and hap- piness of the entire future. Whether she wishes it or not the average woman comes to a turning point in her life at about this age. Previous to this time she has lived a life, first of youthful freedom from care, then full of the joys of young womanhood, then full of the responsibilities of caring for her growing family or of establishing herself in some profession or business. But now she has reached a period when she can fold her hands and watch her children develop in their own manner, or she has 13 THE WOMAN OF FORTY reached a foothold on the ladder of success in her chosen field; her days are more fully her own than any in the years that have gone before. She has leisure to consider her own appearance, she has hours to give to club or charity work and hours in which she wonders what she is to do with her future. It is the end of the first half of her life and she must consider whether it has been profitable enough to be continued in the same line or if a change is necessary. A few hours spent in making definite plans for the future is as necessary as any board of directors’ meeting. In the following chapters we shall consider some of the problems that confront the woman of forty. 14 CHAPTER II HER APPEARANCE “ It isn’t forty but looking it! ” exclaimed a department manager in a large firm when asked about the employment of women of this age. Women of forty are more competent, more reliable than many of the younger women, but if they look “ run to seed ” or rusty no employer wants them. Gray hair has nothing to do with it. If a woman is quick and smart in her actions, her dress and looks, her chance is equal to that of the younger women. But of course that means she has to keep herself in extra good trim or she cannot hold her place. Greater care of the physical being must be given for each year after thirty. Thirty is the milestone that marks the road to a beautiful and happy forty. Fat makes a woman look her age more than any- thing else. The need for the consistent, daily care of the 15 THE WOMAN OF FORTY body is that it reacts favorably on the mental state. Naturally with exercise you send good blood rush- ing through the body to rebuild it and keep it in first class condition. If you establish the habit of personal hygiene you just naturally fall into the habit of greater pride in your clothes and alto- gether before you know it you are looking years younger. We are judged according to our appearance even though this may not be entirely fair. Quite fre- quently, however, the appearance is a true index of the character and ability of a person. Whether we wish it or not, our faces tend to reflect our inner lives, our thoughts and aspirations. No one can think hard, bitter thoughts constantly without show- ing it in her face. No one can “ love her neigh- bor as herself ” without having this make an in- delible impression. Every part of a man talks to us, his arms, his hands, his legs, his feet, even his “ calves may wink ” as described by Dickens in one of his Christ- mas stories, but no portion is so tell-tale as is the face. In our homes, in public places and on the streets we pass thousands and thousands of people, 16 HER APPEARANCE each with a face that is different from all others. At times, we meet two people who seem to look alike, but a closer inspection or more intimate ac- quaintance brings forth many points of difference. There are no two faces exactly alike. What is the story these faces tell ? Is it of happi- ness or of sadness, of wealth or of poverty, of health or of disease, of success or failure? Each has its own story and he who studies may read much that is written there. The criminal soon acquires hard, repulsive lines of sin; those whose lives are peaceful show this in their faces. Terror is shown by the blanched face and anger by the diffused color. Modesty is denoted by the quick blush and boldness by its typical lines. In the face of a youth with drawn-down corners to his mouth which harmonize with the discour- aged attitude of the entire body we readily read a story of discouragement, of inability to obtain a position, while when we look at the man whose face is round, whose mouth turns up at the corners and whose eyes twinkle, we say, “ There is a happy man, a man who has just left a pleasant home, who is contented and successful in his work.” 17 THE WOMAN OF FORTY Indeed, so true are the stories told by our faces that employers are beginning to analyze those seek- ing employment to see if they are fitted for the work at hand. Vocational guidance and scientific employment are becoming common words, and the fitting of a man to his proper work and environment is becoming a work of great importance in these days of conservation. The woman who knits socks when she might be using her talents to a bet- ter advantage is a slacker, just as the man who wears himself out in uncongenial tasks would be doing his country a greater service if he changed to an employment for which he was fitted and in which he could accomplish far greater results. We unconsciously notice stories in the faces of others but we seldom realize that at the same time our own faces are telling our neighbors of the lives we lead,— of our struggles and successes, our pains and pleasures, our discouragements and ambi- tions. The woman of forty has quite decided lines on her face which show plainly the kind of life she has led in the past, but by determination she can change these lines greatly if she so desires. 18 HER APPEARANCE It is every woman’s right and duty to be as at- tractive as possible. There is an old saying that to be a beauty one must commence with her grand- mother. However, this is not strictly true, for everyone has certain qualities or possibilities that need only to be brought out to make a person truly beautiful. Plainness and unattractiveness often are the results of not cultivating one’s gifts. The inner life often lights up an otherwise plain face, making it truly beautiful. In meeting a stranger the face probably is the first portion that attracts our attention. A woman’s countenance is a little sketch pad on which are mir- rored her inmost thoughts. We sometimes remark how much character is displayed in the face or how weak another face appears. The woman who is in earnest will display this in her face, while the woman who thinks only of herself will plainly show this selfish spirit in her face. Good health is shown in the face almost as plainly as the words in an open book. One cannot be beautiful if she is not health- ful. Chronic constipation and indigestion make their record here as well as do lack of sleep and other disobediences of the laws of Nature. Neither 19 THE WOMAN OF FORTY can these signs be masked by paint and powder. In fact, too thick an application of either of these serve only to call attention to the defects and makes the person appear conspicuous and vulgar. Anything that makes one conspicuous shows lack of taste and good breeding. It lays the person open to ridicule and unkind remarks. The best cosmetic to put color and expression in the face is fresh air and sunshine and plenty of it. Everybody should spend a certain amount of time every day of the year out-of-doors, regardless of the weather. Too many women are inclined to stay in the house from week-end to week-end and this is the cause of most of their troubles. The entire system as well as the complexion needs the benefit of the oxygen inhaled from a walk in the open air. Getting out-of-dors gives contact with nature, which is always helpful. Further while outdoors new faces and new things broaden our sympathies and interests, and if we have had problems indoors they will vanish or be seen from another viewpoint when we return mentally refreshed from the bracing atmosphere of outdoors. The woman of forty can well afford to spend a 20 HER APPEARANCE number of minutes in front of her mirror, especially in trying the effect of various expressions on her face. Many a woman makes an ugly grimace when she intends to smile, while others unconsciously make their faces masses of wrinkles when in a thoughtful study. At this age, wrinkles are in- clined to become permanent. A child can make various contortions with his face and these all smooth out in sleep, but at forty the smoothing out process is much harder. Wrinkles may come when one is sleeping if care is not given to compose the face by thinking happy thoughts at bedtime. The woman who retires in an angry frame of mind or with an unkind feeling towards others makes a permanent impression on her face during the night. It is a good plan to form the habit of reading an interesting story at bedtime or one of the numerous happy thought books such as Dr. Frank Crane’s “ Human Confes- sions ” or Marden’s “ Peace, Power and Plenty.” Wrinkles are especially prone to come to the woman who in inclined to “ nerves.” How often we meet women who complain of being nervous. What they really mean is that they have not con- 21 THE WOMAN OF FORTY trol of their nerves but let them run away. A woman may be of a nervous temperament and yet have such good control of her nerves that she never complains of being nervous. This lack of nerve control manifests itself in various ways. Some- times it only is a tendency to cry at trivial things or an inclination to despondency — to have “ the blues,” or to worry over real or fancied slights. Many women waste so much time thinking over things that are past and gone. A visit with a friend loses its joy in the afterthought, for this victim of the nerves lives over every moment of the visit. She recalls everything that has been said and won- ders if a different meaning were intended. Things that were said as a joke and originally taken that way now are brought up for criticism and pondered over until the woman convinces herself of the pres- ence of a hidden meaning. She is not satisfied un- til she has bent and shapen the original thoughtless sentence into an ugly sting. These nervous women are the ones who con- tinually are tormented with the demon of jealousy. If one of them should suddenly meet her husband on the street walking with another woman, what a 22 HER APPEARANCE curtain lecture he would receive that evening; or if not that, he finds his wife wearing the air of one who considers herself much abused. The real facts of the case may be that her husband met the other woman quite accidentally and, as they were going in the same direction, he could not avoid walking with her without being positively rude. In this age men must, of necessity, have business transactions with women. It is a common occurrence for two men to lunch together in order to have a chance to talk over some important business without fear of interruption. There is no reason why a man and a woman might not do the same, and yet how im- possible it would be to convince the jealous woman that this was the case. To be jealous is to acknowl- edge the superior charms of the other woman. “If I cannot hold him against all women, then I do not want him,” should be the woman’s attitude. If you think some other woman is attracting your husband, wake up and beat her at her own game. Do not sit idly in the corner and complain. You only are making yourself miserable and not trying to right the wrong. Forty has been called “ The Dangerous Age ” for 23 THE WOMAN OF FORTY woman perhaps because at this time so many women become estranged from their husbands. For a number of years the average woman has neglected her husband for her children and he has become engrossed with his business. Now the children are going away and the woman turns to her husband and suddenly realizes the gulf that has opened be- tween them. Instead of deliberately planning to close the chasm, she blames him and turns to other interests, and before long there is a divorce case. A little less “ nerves ” and a little more common sense might have healed the breach. A woman who is nervous usually does not real- ize what is the cause of her condition. When ex- citable and irritable and suffering from a nervous headache, she takes various remedies to deaden the symptoms, instead of looking the matter squarely in the face and going after the cause. Many women need a hobby to take up their spare time and to oc- cupy their minds. If their minds are occupied and their bodies kept in good condition by proper care, they soon will gain control of their nerves. When they feel an attack of nerves coming on, they should get busy and “ work it off.” 24 HER APPEARANCE There is a class of women who possess com- fortable homes, with a maid to do the work, whose home duties are not confining and who find them- selves with a great deal of extra time on their hands. To these women the days are long and they endeavor to pass away the time by doing nerve- racking fancy work or by “ fussing ” around the house. They are not happy and contented, chiefly because their minds are being neglected — are grow- ing up to weeds like a neglected garden. For such a woman club work, especially community welfare, is a boon. She should take up some especial kind of work, and devote several hours a day to the study of it. At first this will be hard, for a mind that has fallen into lazy ways is not easily aroused to continual effort, the deeply rooted weeds are not easily destroyed. Many half contented women realize this need of mental food but hesitate. As one woman said, “ Why, my husband would leave me if I started to work! ” Some men take a peculiar attitude to- wards women. They would like to treat them as a woman treats her pet dog. The dog is provided with a comfortable home, plenty of food, someone 25 THE WOMAN OF FORTY to bathe it and carry it around. The dog is con- tented with this. It loves to sleep and eat the livelong day; it comes when its mistress calls, and goes when she is tired of it. Unfortunately, per- haps, all women cannot be contented with such a life. The woman was given a brain which refuses to be dormant. If it is not required to be employed in a useful way, it occupies itself with bad thoughts — it worries and becomes fault-finding or gossip- ing. No woman should allow her mind to grow up to such weeds. If the circumstances of her position, her education or her environment seem to make it unwise that she take up any work that would bring a monetary reward, she easily can find some chari- table work that needs all the energies she can de- vote to it. If such a woman would take up some especial branch of philanthropic work she would be amply rewarded, not only by the consciousness of the good she had done, but by the improvement in her own health, happiness and appearance. Look around and see who are the women that retain their good looks and keep young looking. They are not 26 HER APPEARANCE the women who are seeking an elusive fountain of youth at the bath and massage parlors but they are the women who are mentally active in com- munity welfare work. An active mind lights up the face and keeps the young light in the eyes. There is another phase to this lack of nerve con- trol shown in a nervous tension, an inability to re- lax and enjoy life. Some people go through the day on such a nervous tension that they are un- able to take cognizance of their surroundings. Eventually this tension will manifest itself in some disorder, as headache, nervous indigestion or com- plete nervous prostration. In the latter case the nerves have been so abused, so strained that at last they are worn out. A rest is imperative! A woman who, if she has a few spare moments, can lie down and relax absolutely, perhaps even drop to sleep, has a better chance to stand the stress and strain of business or of housekeeping than the one who finds it impossible to do so. Try making it a point to lie down for two or three minutes sev- eral times a day; lie flat on your back and relax every muscle; put every worry or ugly thought out 27 THE WOMAN OF FORTY of your mind by thinking some pleasant but sooth- ing sentence as, “ I am glad I can rest. I will be happy when I arise.” You will be surprised at the effect these few moments a day will produce upon your health and happiness. Plenty of sleep is imperative for nervous women and yet so many of them neglect this great re- storer of the nervous system. Frequently these women complain of an inability to go to sleep easily, and spend long hours of the night lying awake and entertaining worry thoughts. This symptom of dis- ordered nerves should not be neglected. A warm bath before retiring, followed by a gentle massage especially along the spine, will, by relaxing the nerves and muscles, produce very good results. A hot foot-bath, by drawing the blood away from the brain, often will be beneficial. A glass of hot milk or cocoa taken just before retiring may have the same effect. If the sleeplessness is a result of indigestion a plain diet will relieve. Sleeping upon a hard bed without a pillow sometimes produces the desired effect. Always have plenty of fresh air in the room. Keep the mind free from the cares of the day. If they will intrude crowd them out by 28 HER APPEARANCE repeating some soothing sentence as: “ There is no reason why I should not sleep, therefore, I shall sleep. My body is relaxed, my mind is at peace, sleep is coming, I am getting sleepy, I am about to sleep.” Never take any sleeping powders ex- cept upon the advice of a physician, for the major- ity of the sleeping powders contain some harm- ful drug, as morphine, codeine, phenacetin or acetanilid. The latter especially is very depressing to the heart and serves to weaken the nervous sys- tem. In fact many deaths may be laid at the door of these drugs. Treatments to tone up the nervous system and to improve the circulation often are indicated in these cases of “ nerves.” Control your nerves, do not let them control you if you would keep young and attractive. The woman of forty needs better clothing than she did twenty years previously. With youth, the more simple the clothing the better, but the mature woman needs richer material and better fitting cloth- ing. The average woman of forty would be wise if she selected a good tailor and allowed him to plan her clothes generally, for the average woman is inclined to be dowdy or fails to suit her cloth- 29 THE WOMAN OF FORTY ing to the changing lines of her body. The styles that she was accustomed to follow in her younger and slimmer days are not becoming as she grows older. Clothes may not make the man or woman, but they certainly indicate their taste, breeding and environment, also they are the sign first seen by strangers and by which we are judged to a great extent. The well dressed woman is the one whose dress always is suitable for the occasion. Rich- ness of material and fancy trimmings do not make one well dressed. Made-over clothes seldom are a success for the mature woman, unless she is espe- cially gifted or experienced in the line of dress- making. It would be better for the average woman to sew her clothes with a silver needle, as Ben- jamin Franklin would say. You know the story without doubt. One day Benjamin Franklin, the apostle of thrift, saw a strong young fellow whom he knew to be a fine blacksmith, sitting on the wharf fishing for little mud-cats and eels. Frank- lin said to him: “ Ah, Tom, what pity ’tis you don’t fish with a silver hook.” 30 HER APPEARANCE The young man replied: “ I am not able to fish with a silver hook.” Some days after this as Franklin passed that way again he saw Tom out at the end of the wharf with his long pole bending idly over the water. “ Well, Tom,” cried he, “ have you got the silver hook yet? ” “ God bless you,” cried the blacksmith, “ I’m hardly able to fish with an iron hook.” “Pooh! Pooh!” replied Franklin, “Go home to your anvil; and you’ll make silver enough in one day to buy more and better fish than you would catch here in one month.” This little story might well be remembered by many a woman who tries to make of herself jack-of- all-trades with the result that she is master of none. The average woman would be better dressed if she bought her clothing ready made or had an experi- enced dressmaker, while she used her own talents and time earning money to pay for the work done. Every woman has at least one talent. There is one thing she can do better than her neighbors. It may be baking bread or raising tomatoes, but what- ever it is she should concentrate her energies on 31 THE WOMAN OF FORTY this one thing and employ somebody else to do the other work. In planning her clothes the woman of forty should remember that dignity is her strong point, for dignity goes with maturity and forty is matur- ity. Do not try to be kittenish at forty, for you only serve to make yourself ridiculous and reveal that you never have developed mentally beyond the childhood stage. Do not dye the hair. Nothing makes a worn face look older than does dyed locks. The woman who dyes her hair a henna red thinking to have drowned ten years in the dye pot only has ad- vertised her age. The face invariably looks many years younger if the hair is left gray or white. Study the effect of various colors on your com- plexion, and see which one is adapted to your needs. It may be a color that is entirely different from any that you have been wearing. Remember that blue is not always for the blonde, for many a full blooded woman looks very ordinary in red or other colors usually affected by the brunette, while the same person would look aristocratic in dull blue or brown. 32 HER APPEARANCE Middle-aged women are inclined to fall into a habit of wearing dull, unbecoming colors, having a fear of trying to appear kittenish; especially is this true of quiet, retiring women. If you are inclined to be melancholy and “ blue ” do not put on a cool colored dress as brown or gray, but rather choose one that has at least a touch of a warm color as old rose or red. Study the psychology of light and color and dress so as to overcome your moods and bad habits. Twenty years ago, “ fair, fat and forty ” was the milestone to be encountered by every woman. If you looked pleasant and comfortable that was enough. You could roll in fat and grow old in peace sitting in the chimney corner knitting. No one thought of saying to you: “ Why don’t you reduce? ” If you puffed when you tried to catch a street car, no one told you to play golf or stop eat- ing potatoes. If you climbed a hill very leisurely or even sat at the foot while the younger set ex- plored the summit, no one remonstrated or advised you to diet. Fat was fate in those days and no more to be changed than a crooked nose, or gray hair or big feet. 33 THE WOMAN OF FORTY Those were the days of the popular ending to the story: “ Then they were married and lived hap- pily ever after.” Romance ended at the altar in- stead of only commencing there. Nowadays it re- quires as much art to keep married as it once did to reach that goal. As romance has changed so have fashions and along with the bonnets, the hoop skirts and kero- sene lanterns that have been relegated to the rub- bish heap, fat has found its right place. Not only has fat gone out of fashion but people are begin- ning to be afraid of it. These are the days of efficiency and fat does not mix with efficiency any more than it does with water. Fat never has been extremely popular anyhow. It simply was tolerated along with other tradi- tions. Only a few oriental nations ever considered fat as a requisite of beauty. All others, in de- scribing beauty, speak of slenderness in women and straightness in men, with grace in both, not pudgy mounds of fat. Their descriptions of strength were of the wiry quality, and not an oily one. In every age, in every country, the fat man has been the buf- 34 HER APPEARANCE foon and the fat woman has been relegated to the household, where competition was not so keen, so the handicap of fat has not been so fatal to women. Obesity always has been the subject for the humorist. It is no wonder, then, that practically all we know about the subject are the droll situa- tions in which the over-stout sometimes finds him- self. For the humorist in his flight of imagina- tion sometimes divorces himself from the Goddess of Truth and Fact and espouses the Divinity of Fancy, Frolic and Nonsense. Through all ages the fat man has been the prey of the story teller. Thinking back through the realms of literature we immediately call to mind a picture of stout Sir John Falstaff, who has been described as a globe of flesh spotted over with continents of sin. The cause of Sir John’s corpulency was his gluttonous appetite and his incurable laziness. And in its wake there followed great unpleasantness for honest John, for he was short of breath and he perspired profusely and he had severe pains in his big toe. And above all, you remember the fate that befell him in his dealings with the merry wives of Wind- 35 THE WOMAN OF FORTY sor, he lost all the attractions that he once had for the fair sex. You will recall 'how he was stoutly cudgeled as he made his escape in the disguise of an old woman, and you also recall how he was thrown with several pieces of ill smelling clothes into the river. Poor Sir John! The worst of it was that it was all his own fault and if he had lived in this age of efficiency he would have discovered that all his troubles were due to the fact that he was taking in more than he gave out. For it is a fact that if we receive freely we must give freely or the balance of health, happiness and efficiency is not maintained, and we are not justifying our existence. It is not very comforting to the fat person to have to say, “ It is my own fault that I am fat.” Nevertheless the truth is that the fat person is eating more than he can care for and is working both the brain and the body less than he should or he would not be fat, while equally true is the fact that the lean person is taking in too little or giving out too much, especially in the form of nervous energy. One cannot get away from this truth. 36 HER APPEARANCE The fat person may like to eat better than any- thing else and he may justify himself by saying that he must eat to keep up his strength, while the lean person may complain of no appetite or that he has not time to eat slowly and properly, that he has no time to rest, that his existence depends upon his constant movements. But down in his heart every person knows that he is glad to find an excuse for his habits, and he does not want to change his ways if he can help it. The logical thing for the overstout to do is to diet. It sounds a simple thing to say to a fat per- son, “ You are eating too much, cut it down.” Such a simple thing to do. Just a luncheon left out, a dinner cut down to a glass of milk. Anyone can do that. Try it! You not only will get hungry but you will have to battle with that great power “ habit.” Habit will tell you that at a certain hour of the day you should be hungry even if you are not, and you will have to fight habit as hard as you will fight hunger. A few years ago a fat man or woman could throw the blame on their parents. “ I come of a 37 THE WOMAN OF FORTY fat family and I inherit my fat,” was the excuse of the easy-going, yesterday, just as the person who had tuberculosis threw all the blame on in- heritance. Poor heredity was the scapegoat for many of our failings. Now we have learned that very few diseases are contracted by heredity. Even tuberculosis is not classed in the category of in- heritable diseases. Of course a man may inherit a weak constitution with less powers of resistance than the average person so that he has to fight a little harder and take a little better care of him- self than the average individual if he does not want to become a victim of his parents’ enemy. In the same way, fat is not inherited, although a tendency to obesity may be inherited. The probabilities are that the environment, the habits and food of the family are more to blame than is heredity. It has been my observation that the family inclined to obesity all have a fondness for fat producing food and fat inducing habits. On the contrary, a family of lean people probably do not eat enough fat pro- ducing food. You know that until recent years each daughter cooked as did her mother before her. So habits 38 HER APPEARANCE of diet were passed along from one generation to another. Go into the home of a fleshy family and probably you will find that they are fond of pota- toes, sweet desserts, custards and puddings, with a large allowance of pies, cake and cream; while if you go into the home of lean people you will find they eat more acid fruits and vegetables, as toma- toes, apples and the like. They are inclined to have fruit for dessert instead of custard pudding. This question of food is an extremely important one to every person and every community. We are just beginning to realize its importance and we still are investigating. We are applying the rules of efficiency to the daily lives of the family, as well as to the community. In fact efficiency can be applied to anything, to the elimination of fat, as well as to the making of steel rails or to the turning of the soil with a plow. Now we use traction engines where our grandfathers used oxen. In our youth we are liable to form habits of over- eating and as we grow older we fail to realize we cannot take care of the same food, in kind or quantity, that we did when we were younger. Few people change their diet as the years come to them. 39 THE WOMAN OF FORTY They have formed habits of appetite and fail to realize that the consuming power of the body is not so great at fifty as it was at thirty. When a man, or woman, turns fifty an age change has come that must be reckoned with and heeded. The body does not require the same food that it did at thirty; moreover it cannot consume it. We do not require as much sleep as we grow older and the same is true of our food requirements. Many a man, or woman, who has turned fifty is committing slow suicide by not curbing his appetite, whereas he could add ten years to his life if he realized that a man is as old as his arteries, and his arteries depend upon his diet and other habits of living. We have progressed far enough to realize that alcohol is a poison to the arteries but we still have to learn to realize that the same kind and quantity of diet are poison at fifty that were food at thirty. The chief change that needs to concern us as we approach the age of fifty is the food we eat; we can go on working and keeping up our enthusiasm and interests; they will freshen us. But we shorten our lives with the foods we eat. 40 HER APPEARANCE Not only that, but the fat man’s burden is a very real one, especially, as Bill Nye once said, “ if he happens to be a woman,” and for some reason or other obesity is more common by far in the female than in the male, largely due to her more quiet, inactive life and the greater tendency to in- dulge in fat-forming diet. At forty the most lean woman often will assume more comfortable pro- portions. The neck becomes stout, the double chin, significant of matronly benevolence appears, the waist line becomes of undue latitude and one sees the typical matron of the middle classes as she is pic- tured on the stage. Between forty and fifty the man (or woman) who allows weight to remain high is running more dan- ger of an early demise than he would if he con- tracted typhoid fever. What is more, if he were stricken with that disease his chance of recovery would be ten per cent less than normal. A man who is thinner than the average, on the other hand, has less danger of dying in this decade than the man who tips the scales at the normal figure. A man in his fifties who is twenty pounds over normal weight has a fifteen per cent mortality 41 THE WOMAN OF FORTY handicap to face. Should he be forty pounds over weight his chances of dying are increased forty-five per cent. Tables prepared by a large insurance company from one hundred thousand cases of rec- ord show that people who are under weight have a higher death rate up to the thirtieth year, and that after forty a higher death rate is found among persons who weigh more than the average for their height and age. Moreover, in these calculations, not a single really fat person lived to be eighty years old. Fourteen underweights, however, reached the four score mark, and one was able to celebrate his ninetieth birthday, surrounded by his grandchildren long after his adipose associates had passed to that bourn from which no traveler returns. The logical thing then for any man or woman to do would be to determine the normal weight for their age and height, then proceed to obtain that weight. No healthy person need be too fat or too thin. He has just as much right to say what he should weigh as what church he shall attend or what political ticket he shall vote. To those folks who are wont to look upon lank- 42 HER APPEARANCE ness as undesirable but inevitable, who regard fat quite as much a family heritage as blue eyes or a pug nose, this statement may seem surprising, but it really is true. Each of us has an ideal weight which it is perfectly easy to obtain and still easier to retain. The woman of forty should weigh from ten to twenty pounds more than she did at eighteen, but when this ten or twenty pounds is doubled she has passed beyond the efficient weight. The following is given as the average weight for a woman of forty: 4 ft. ii in. should weigh 122 lbs. 5 ft. o in. should weigh 125 lbs. 5 ft. 1 in. should weigh 128 lbs. 5 ft. 2 in. should weigh 132 lbs. 5 ft. 3 in. should weigh 135 lbs. 5 ft. 4 in. should weigh 138 lbs. 5 ft. 5 in. should weigh 143 lbs. 5 ft. 6 in. should weigh 146 lbs. 5 ft. 7 in. should weigh 150 lbs. 5 ft. 8 in. should weigh 155 lbs. 5 ft. 9 in. should weigh 159 lbs. 5 ft. 10 in. should weigh 163 lbs. 43 THE WOMAN OF FORTY Practically every sufferer from obesity wants re- lief. Exercise and dieting are the two most often suggested methods of treatment. Unfortunately, the very temperament of the obese is opposed to ex- ercise, and their increasing weight handicaps them more and more. Strict diet is only a temporary expedient. Once the restrictions are removed, the scales tell the old story again. Dieting today and feasting tomorrow never will change a person’s weight. Obesity is the result of a long continued disproportion between the amount of food con- sumed and the amount metabolized. “ I’ve tried but I cannot reduce my weight,” is a statement scientifically absurd. Go without food today and you will lose a pound, probably more. Just as certainly will you lose, though more slowly, if you eat a little less than you need for a longer period of time. Overeating is not necessarily glut- tony, or anything approaching it. A small meal made up of certain foods will furnish more fuel — and more fat — to the body than one twice as large and less discreetly chosen. Foods vary vastly in fuel value; for instance, one pound of olive oil will stand sponsor for more surplus flesh than 44 HER APPEARANCE forty pounds of the lettuce on which we are likely to eat it; a few ounces of chocolates will produce more fat than several pounds of some vegetables. It has been said that we could guarantee a cure for the fat woman if we could control the key to her pantry. For the fat woman usually pretends to a seraphic existence on nothing material, and in real- ity she seldom sits down to a square meal, but her frequent visits to the kitchen and pantry, where she languidly yet generously tastes everything in sight, can account for several square meals. In this way she unwittingly exceeds the caloric re- quirements. A slight excess, as represented by a small piece of butter, a generous dish of ice cream, several pieces of candy, will amount to a whole lot after one year. The excess of food is stored up in fat deposits and in a year’s time the individual will have gained several pounds and yet be diet- ing! One woman of this type came to a physician’s office recently. She was extremely anxious to re- duce ; but when she was told she must cut down on her diet she flung her hands toward the ceiling in a transport of despair. 45 THE WOMAN OF FORTY “ Why/' she cried, “ I’m a very small eater now! ” “Really? What did you have for breakfast?'' “ Why, I only had three or four slices of toasted bread and a cup of coffee,” she replied. A few further questions coaxed forth the fact that she used a lot of cream and four lumps of sugar in her coffee. “ Your four lumps of sugar,” she was told, “ fur- nished as much fuel as two slices of bread, while your cream and sugar together were more fatten- ing than the rest of your breakfast — and bread is not to be despised as a flesh builder.” The stout person must learn that he has both friends and enemies at the table. His enemies are sugar, bread, cereal, desserts, butter, cream, olive oil, bacon, cocoa and rich sauces. Among his best friends are lean meats, unsweetened fruits and green foods. Yet, alas! most plump people seem stricken with an ardent love for their enemies. The general classes of the elements in what we eat may be borne in mind in regard to a few sug- gestions for weight reduction. First, for proteins take one third of a pound of 46 HER APPEARANCE meat and one egg daily. Most of your other foods will contain a small amount of protein, which will make up the balance of what you need. Second, select one highly carbohydrate article be- sides sugar, for each meal. You may choose from bread, cereals, soup, macaroni, potato, corn, custard, ice cream, almonds, dried figs, nuts or raisins. Never take a second helping of such starchy foods as rice, tapioca, macaroni or potato. Third, limit your sugar to three teaspoonfuls daily. Fourth, fats should be cut down to a minimum. From one and a half to three balls of butter — which is entirely fat — should be sufficient for this division of your diet. Use no cream, olive oil, bacon or fat meat. Never eat cheese or nuts. Fifth, if you obey the foregoing instructions, you may appease your appetite by eating unsweetened fruits, salads without oil and such vegetables as carrots, squash, string beans without cream sauce. You may eat quantities of lettuce and spinach to fill up the void. You will miss some of your sweet, rich, old enemies for a while, but you will be sur- prised at the speed with which you will come to feel 47 THE WOMAN OF FORTY just as fond towards things which are good for you. Do not make the changes too rapidly and your tastes will conform to your habits. You need scales when you begin to reduce. Moreover you must weigh yourself at the same hour every day, for the weight may be a couple of pounds less in the morning before breakfast than it is after dinner. If you are doing difficult brain work you may lose nearly a pound an hour easily. Prodigious brain workers seldom are fat. Think- ing uses up fat as quickly as exercise does. However, exercise should be taken along with the change in diet. Exercise to be effectual in reduc- ing must be persistent and regular. It should not exhaust the person, and therefore should be gen- eral and graduated. Many a fat woman determines to reduce and starts in so strenuously that after a day or two she is too lame to continue and so rests and accumulates fat. To make a mature woman take regular exercise is a Herculean task as her training, her mode of life and dress are a great handicap. A man is more accustomed to system in business and more readily falls into habits of regular exercise. 48 HER APPEARANCE Two common forms of exercise, walking and running, stand foremost in the physical work of which all may partake. In European health re- sorts, hill climbing is much in vogue. If one is not accustomed to walking at all it is well to choose a definite hour for this exercise, then commence very gradually. Walk around one block every day for a week, then the next week walk two blocks and so on until you are able to walk several miles without effort. But in walking be careful of the posture so that you will not advertise to the neighbors all your habits, for the walk is as characteristic of a woman as is the style of her shoes. The woman with de- cided ideas of her own walks along with a firm step and comes down squarely on the ball of her feet. The timid woman, who makes a door mat of herself, has a hesitating tread. The slovenly woman is not hard to detect even on a crowded thoroughfare. When you see her slouch unevenly down the street you do not need a glance at her half laced shoes and general air of untidiness to know that she is the woman who sweeps the dust under the couch where it will be out of sight. 49 THE WOMAN OF FORTY Walking is one of the most beneficial of exercises if done correctly. As much art and mind and com- mon sense and training are required to walk cor- rectly as to perform any other feat. Walking is a universal recreation, for it requires no costly in- struction, only attention to a few important de- tails. To walk correctly the body should be held erect, the neck in a straight line with the spine, the elbows close to the body, the chest raised, the abdomen in, the toes turned out and the weight on the ball of the feet. The woman of forty is inclined to give up walk- ing on account of trouble with her feet. Many women have fallen arches or metatarsalgia, either of which condition can be corrected to a large de- gree by a properly fitted shoe. Indeed, a properly fitted shoe is as important to the mature woman as is a properly fitted corset. A young girl can wear almost any make of corset or no corset at all and look well, but the average woman of mature years will improve her appearance by a corset that fits her figure correctly. This is true also of the shoe, which should be fitted to the individual foot that in mature years has assumed decided lines and is not 50 HER APPEARANCE easily molded to the shape of the shoe as is the foot of a young girl. Metatarsalgia is becoming more and more com- mon with the woman of mature age. The word simply means pain in the forefoot, but we like to give it a high sounding name so we call the condi- tion metatarsalgia or Morton’s toe. The family physician will say “ gastralgia,” when Willie’s con- science says “ Stomach ache from green apples.” So this condition of the foot is called metatarsalgia, but if we tell the truth we will call it “ pain in the foot from fashionable shoes.” But whatever we call the condition, those who are afflicted with it know that the pain is almost unbearable while it lasts. In fact, women have been known to sit down on the curbing and pull off their shoes in order to relieve the pain. The pain is described usually as a terrible cramp in the ball of the foot, which comes on suddenly without any regard for the inconven- ience of the person. It may come while walking down the street but is just as likely to come while the woman is sitting quietly in church. The condition is due to improper shoes, not neces- sarily tight shoes, just shoes that throw the foot out 51 THE WOMAN OF FORTY of the natural position. Sharp pointed shoes that pinch the ends of the toes together while allowing the ball of the foot to spread are the worst offenders. The foot is held so securely in one position that the muscles are not used and so gradually become weak- ened with the result that there is a sagging or falling of the transverse arch. The pain is assumed to be caused by pressure upon nerves between the heads of the sagging metatarsal bones. If one would overcome this condition she must select her shoes with a great deal of care. Right here is a great problem, for the majority of shoes are made to sell and not to fit the foot. Personally, I have gone to half-a-dozen high grade shoe shops be- fore I could find a last that was at all desirable. The requirements are a straight last with plenty of toe room but not necessarily an “ old lady’s ” shoe. If one has enough patience she will in time find a shoe that looks well and yet has the proper shape. Avoid the unexcusable high heel and the extremely low heel. The next requirement for the relief of metatar- salgia is exercise to strengthen the muscles of the forefoot and to restore the fallen arch. Rising on 52 HER APPEARANCE the tiptoes, then lowering the body slowly is one of the best exercises. Walking also is excellent. However, relief must not be expected immediately, for it takes many months to restore the damage that has been brought on by years of misuse. Remember, there is no hope of overcoming metatarsalgia if the victim persists in wearing freak shoes that only make the condition worse. With proper attention to all the details of bodily care there is no reason why the woman of forty should not be very attractive in appearance and re- tain this for many years to come, but neglect now means disaster later. 53 CHAPTER III HER EXERCISE AND RECREATION The best exercise for the woman of forty is not something that lays another burden upon her, but something that will add to her joy in life. The average woman of forty needs an outside interest more than she needs rolling exercises. She needs association with youth and a youthful joy in liv- ing. Exercise should be looked upon not so much as something good and healthful but as something that will restore the needed balance to life by mak- ing life once more enjoyable. When exercise is a conscious physical effort it defeats its own ends. Exercise taken as a duty will not bring the same benefit as the same movements gone through in play. Exercise for the middle-aged should be some- thing that will break up the regular routine of life, something that will have a pleasurable anticipa- tion. It should not involve violent movements or 54 HER EXERCISE AND RECREATION prolonged and exhausting muscular strain, neither should it be continued to the point of fatigue. All work produces fatigue poisons. In the normal individual, these are balanced by the reproduction of new cells. If the production of fatigue poisons exceeds the recuperative powers of the individual the general health declines. There is a limit to the amount of work that any person can do without harm to himself. What this is de- pends upon the individual. It is reasonable to ex- pect that a brawny six footer could do more physical labor than a slender youth barely five feet tall. The slender youth may be able to do more mental work, for he may be an intellectual giant. The natural abilities of a person should be considered in the selection of any work and then the man, or woman, should not overdo. If one must work beyond normal limits at times, she should try to save herself every other unneces- sary expenditure of vitality. Crocheting or other movements of the hands should be laid aside at such times, for these all exhaust the nervous system. Practice relaxation whenever you find yourself with an idle moment! 55 THE WOMAN OF FORTY There are a great many women who overwork and are immensely proud of it; while there are others who overwork and regret it, but can see no chance of changing their ways. Recently I read a story in which a woman relates why she left the farm. When, as a bride, she en- tered upon her work of housekeeping it was not dif- ficult, for the house was not large, the family con- sisted only of herself and her husband. Their farm was small, they had only one cow and had not, as yet, acquired a flock of chickens. Later, babies came to make the home happy, but also to mean extra work for the mother. Year by year the farm was enlarged, chickens were acquired, which of course were taken care of by the wife, stock was gradually added on the farm until the necessity for first one hired man, then a second was apparent. Added cows meant additional milk to be taken care of in the house, also churning and butter-making. Each year the woman’s work increased as her hus- band grew more prosperous. The greater part of the time she found it impossible to keep help, as girls preferred to work in town where the work was not so hard and the recreations more plentiful. As 56 HER EXERCISE AND RECREATION the outdoor work increased, the husband had help, so that he gradually grew to do less of the hard work but more of the overseeing. But the woman’s work grew harder every day! Finally, she awakened to the fact that she was an old woman at thirty-five. All her beauty and attractiveness had fled and only tired lines adorned her face. She had no time nor energy for self-improvement. She never visited nor entertained her friends. All of her energies were devoted to the steady round of work, work. Then and there, she resolved that such a life could not continue, so induced her husband to move to town. Such is the story of many a farmer’s wife. Even with growing prosperity, the woman’s work is not lessened. Every year, new and improved farm im- plements are added to make the man’s work lighter, but there never seems to be any money to improve the working conditions in the house. The woman still cooks over a hot stove in July. She still does the family washing on the back-breaking board, wearing out her own strength that the family may be arrayed in clean linen. She works under diffi- culties that a few dollars might lessen. She is still living in the dark ages of housework. 57 THE WOMAN OF FORTY In this day of labor-saving devices, that are within the reach of all, it is a positive crime to compel a woman to wear herself out in useless toil. An easy running washing machine would not cost nearly as much as a corn husker. It might even be run by water power from the wind mill. A gasoline stove is not very expensive and not nearly as dangerous as being overheated from a coal stove. Those who live in towns, or in close proximity to towns, should take advantage of such modern improvements as gas and electricity. Overwork to the point of fatigue creates a poison in the blood which predisposes to other ailments. An overworked person is much more liable to con- tract disease than one who is not worn out with toil. Let the machines do your work and conserve your energy! There is another class of women who are over- worked. Some are overworked because they lack system, not because of the great amount of work to be done. Housework can be immensely light- ened if it is done in a systematic manner. That is the reason that girls who have had a thorough busi- ness training make the best housekeepers. They 58 HER EXERCISE AND RECREATION place the housework on a business basis and conduct it in a systematic manner. System goes hand in hand with comfort. It is a psychological law that to do things the same way at about the same time every day requires less energy than to do them in a haphazard manner. It is the same principle that is in operation in driving over poor roads. If you go in the same track every time, it requires less energy than if you make a new track every time. What is done by routine half does itself. Peo- ple who go over the same track every day usually are cheerful and do not seem overworked. The mail carrier usually is an example of happiness. If any work is to be done in the easiest manner it must be done according to established routine. To wash on Monday, iron on Tuesday, etc., is much easier than to wash any day that fancy pleases. It is the hardest thing in the world to try to do as you please, or as the inclination strikes you. Take the pleasure- seekers, who have no cares in the world, for an ex- ample. They usually are a discontented and un- happy lot. Whatever you do, if you do it at a regular time 59 THE WOMAN OF FORTY and without any discussion as to the feasibility of doing it, will be much less arduous than if you de- bate as to whether you should do it or not. For in- stance, if you get out of bed at a regular hour every morning, it becomes a habit and does not seem a hardship even though that hour be a rather early one. But a person who arises at an irregular hour has to overcome the inertia that tends to keep him in bed and also dislikes to arise. Just one wink — then another! If you have a certain place to hang your clothes at night and always put them there, it is not half the task to dress in the morning as it would be if you had to hunt hither and thither for every article of wearing apparel. In the house, if there is a place for everything and each thing is put away as soon as one is through with it, the housekeeping is not half so burdensome as it otherwise would be. Sometimes you go to two similar houses and can- not help but notice the difference. In one, the housewife is making an effort to straighten up the littered house, the children are quarreling over the toys, everything that has been used recently by any 60 HER EXERCISE AND RECREATION member of the family is lying around wherever it happened to be thrown. Such a house requires a general cleaning every morning, a constant straight- ening all day, and yet never is in order. In sharp contrast, is the neighbor’s house which always seems to be in order. Here, the entire fam- ily are taught to replace everything that has been used. If someone has been reading a book, it is not thrown down on the nearest chair but is re- placed in the bookcase where it belongs. The caps and coats are not thrown down everywhere, but are hung on their proper hooks. There is no need for a general “ straightening up ” and the mother’s work is not that of a slave to her family. Of course it is possible to carry such a state of things to extremes and make everyone miserable by the exactions. But as a rule, it requires little more effort to put things in their proper places as soon as they are not being used than to throw them where they do not belong. The little savings thus gained make a mountain of saving in steps for the housekeeper. It is not the work but the constant confusion that breeds fatigue in many homes. It is system that is the foundation of comfort. Plan your days, plan 61 THE WOMAN OF FORTY your work. If necessary, plan them out on paper and consult your running schedule every hour to see how good time you are making. You never will accomplish anything worth while unless you have system. No office force ever accomplished much unless the office was run on a system. Every housekeeper will be overworked if she lacks system. A great many women are considered cross and disagreeable when the real fact of the case is that they are putting too much of a strain on their physical systems. The woman of forty who finds herself becoming cross and irritable should pause and consider whether she is not burning up more energy than necessary. It may be she is trying to do too much fancy work or too much unneces- sary housework because of what the neighbors will say. Many a woman tired nervously has lost her bearing and needs a change in order to get hold of herself again. Probably she has been working too hard without the necessary recreation. What she needs is a change of environment. The coun- try woman needs to go to the city and the city woman to the country, but most of all the woman needs to get away from her family. A week of 62 HER EXERCISE AND RECREATION rest entirely away from anything that reminds one of duty may mean an added year to her life. Parties, excursion trips and picnics have been looked upon as belonging primarily to the very young or to the frivolous. The woman who has married and “ settled down ” or the one who was interested in her business or profession was con- sidered to have foregone all these pleasures. Such should not be the case. Companionship is neces- sary to development, while all work and no play makes not only Jack but his mother and sister dull and uninteresting. A well conducted woman’s club has been the saving grace for many a lonesome woman, who needs to attend social affairs where she will meet other people, who will stimulate her to mental effort. Everyone needs the stimulus of conversation with others and the woman who is at home alone the greater part of the day needs this association most of all. If there are no clubs or lectures to attend in the afternoon she should make it a rule to go away from home for at least an hour every day. She could go to visit a neighbor for an hour or two. She should not go to the same place every 63 THE WOMAN OF FORTY day, for she will exhaust the benefit derived from that one person and she needs the viewpoint of sev- eral. Many women form the habit of gossiping be- cause they are hungry to talk with someone, but have no topic in common except the gossip of the neighborhood. Much better than this would be for two or more women to form the habit of reading together in the afternoon. One could sew while the other read. Housework is not the only thing for a woman to consider. If she would fill her position as wife and mother she must look after her own health and keep the love and confidence of her husband and children. Only by being interested and in- teresting is she able to do this. Even though the house is not exactly in order all the time, it is better to keep abreast of the times. Know what your children are doing and become a companion to them, also a companion to your husband if you do not wish him to seek companionship elsewhere. Keep young by exercise. Everyone needs some exercise. Just what this is depends upon the age, occupation and environment of the individual. The exercise required by a young girl who spends her 64 HER EXERCISE AND RECREATION days in an office is quite different from that needed by the mature woman who attends to her household duties. Both need plenty of fresh air but they need different recreations. The home woman most of all should not neglect exercise. The woman who keeps house, either for her own family or that of some other one needs different exercise from that required by the office workers but she requires it just the same. During the day, nearly all the muscles of the body are ex- ercised in the regular round of housework, so this woman does not need exercises that stretch the muscles. She needs fresh air, but, most of all, she needs mental recreation. The regular routine of the home work does not require great mental exer- tions, so this woman would be benefited by lectures and study classes during the afternoon or eve- ning. The woman of forty cannot afford to burn up energy in late hours or strenuous exercise. Fatigue burns up and wastes the tissues and if of frequent and regular occurrence impairs the digestive organs. As a result, all the softness of outline soon van- ishes and bones and angles are in evidence where 65 THE WOMAN OF FORTY curves were meant to be. The face begins to look sharp and drawn and the neck loses its pretty full- ness, the bust flattens, and the figure loses its grace. Exercise is not the remedy here. Conservation of energy rather is needed. Indeed conservation should be the watchword of the woman of forty and the keynote to all her activities. She should not run to catch a street car. It is not worth while losing five years of life to save a moment’s time on an errand of little consequence. Running up stairs is a waste of energy. Take them slowly and quietly. In many of the larger universities and schools there is employed a physical director, who prefer- ably is a physician. Each student who enters one of these schools is given a physical examination, is measured and weighed. The parts of the body which are undeveloped and those which are over- developed are noted. Then a system of exercise is prescribed for the individual which will tend to make the body more symmetrical. At regular in- tervals during the school year the pupil reports to the director, is again measured and the result com- pared with the previous report. Any necessary 66 HER EXERCISE AND RECREATION change in the daily routine is then advised. Under the supervision of a competent director many pupils finish the school year in better health than when they entered, instead of becoming fagged out as has been too common in schools and colleges. Every woman of forty would be benefited by such a physical examination. This is especially necessary at this period of a woman’s life when her organs are undergoing changes and her en- tire nervous system is more or less disturbed. The best investment the woman of forty could make would be to deliberately spend two months of her life placing her body in perfect condition. If she would follow the example of her daughters and spend two months during the summer in a health and recreation camp under the direction of a trained physical director she would find the time and money so spent was one of the best investments of her life. Such a camp to produce the best results should be under the direction of a competent physician with trained assistants. Each woman entering the camp should be given a thorough physical examination just as every man was examined who entered a mili- tary camp. But where the camps for men admitted 67 THE WOMAN OF FORTY only those in perfect health, the aim of the camp for women should be to place the women in such a con- dition that there would be no question as to their future physical ability. It required men in good condition to enter the world war, but now the greatest need of the coun- try is a race of healthful women who can and will do their part in settling the problems of the day and bringing order out of chaos. 68 CHAPTER IV HER CHANGE OF LIFE “ I am going through the change of life and at times am bothered with a rush of blood to my head. My head feels so full and sort of dizzy. My heart pains me at times.” Such is the story re- peated time and again by women entering upon the period commonly called change of life. The menopause, or climacteric, or change of life, is the end of the child-bearing period of a woman’s life just as puberty was the beginning. Puberty or the period of development commonly begins about twelve years of age and extends over a period of several years; so the menopause, or period of atrophy, extends over a period of from three to five years. The average age at which the menopause occurs is forty-six, although there is a great difference as to this and the period seems to come a little 69 THE WOMAN OF FORTY later than it did with the previous generation. In some women the change of life has been known to occur as early as the thirtieth year, while in others it does not commence until the fifty-fifth year. As a rule, a woman who commences to menstruate at an early age has a late menopause, while a woman who commences to menstruate late has her change of life early. The menopause occurs suddenly in about fifty per cent of the cases, and is characterized by a rush of blood to the head, migraine (headache) and nightmare. Some patients have athenia, or faint- ness, in others there is a change of disposition and of the mental faculties, some lose their memory for a time. There is at times emaciation, while in others rapid gain in weight is noticed. Disorders of hearing, vision and disturbances of the stomach and intestines, dyspepsia and constipation are of frequent occurrence. Other symptoms commonly noted are hot flashes, sweating, slight chilliness at times, increased nerv- ous sensitiveness, numbness, fidgets, bad dreams, nervous twitchings, vomiting, dyspepsia, constipa- tion, hemorrhoids, rheumatism, neuralgia, asthma, 70 HER CHANGE OF LIFE bronchitis, mental despondency, delusions of sus- picion and persecution, leucorrhoea. In fact, it would seem that we might enumerate all the com- plaints the race is heir to and lay them up against the menopause. The majority of the disorders complained of by women at this age are not actually due to the change of life at all but to some neglect of previous years. However, all these complaints are aggravated by the changes taking place in the body, where Nature is trying to readjust other organs to the changes tak- ing place in the generative organs. Nevertheless, the majority of the complaints can be modified and even eliminated by having the entire body placed in a perfect condition before this change takes place as explained in another chapter. At the age of puberty Nature made many won- derful changes in the body so as to prepare it to fulfill its destiny in reproduction. So at this sec- ond change when the childbearing period has passed Nature is attempting to readjust the organs and practically eliminate those that have finished their work. The ovaries and uterus now shrink in size and cease to functionate. There is a suppression of 71 THE WOMAN OF FORTY the internal secretion of the ovary, which has a general regulating and stimulating effect. As a result the breasts tend to shrink, for there is an intimate nervous connection between the breasts and the other female organs. With this shrinkage of the uterus and ovaries Nature must of necessity change the course of her telegraph wires (the nerves), also the supply and water pipes (the blood vessels), for she does not wish to send supplies to organs that have ceased to functionate, but must conserve her supply and send it where it is more needed. This changing of the nerve lines naturally affects to a greater or less extent all the other nerves that come from the common trunk. Hence the vari- ous nervous symptoms. Just be patient and Nature will soon finish her readjustments and the lines will again be in perfect order. Many of the complex disorders of the menopause, aside from those due to definite disorders of other organs, undoubtedly are due to an auto-intoxication of the system. In earlier days bleeding of the patient was resorted to in order to relieve the symp- toms of congestion. Now we find that cleaning out of the system of all toxic materials is the best plan. 72 HER CHANGE OF LIFE Imperfect intestinal action is one of the causes of what is sometimes called the “ precancerous ” con- dition. Seldom does a cancer patient have a normal excretory action of the bowels. In most instances there is habitual constipation with an irregular de- pendence upon laxatives, or there is a history of neglect with alternate constipation and natural re- lief by diarrhoea. Long retention of the feces in the large intestines tends to fermentation with enormous micrococci development, whose resulting toxines are absorbed and are an essential element in the perverted nutrition of cancer, a “ precancer- ous condition.” Many of the symptoms common at the menopause are not due to the change of life at all but to the accumulated poisons through years of neglect of the body. Rheumatism and neuralgia, common at this time, usually are due to neglect of the teeth. These neglected teeth, probably with hidden absces- ses at the ends of the roots, may be responsible for the loss of memory, nervous irritability, de- spondency and delusions common at this time. When the source of the poison is removed, the symp- toms clear up without regard to the age of the 73 THE WOMAN OF FORTY patient. Constipation, diarrhoea and indigestion usually are due to years of neglect of the intestinal tract. A great many women worry unnecessarily at this time of life, for there is no especial danger unless the body has been neglected previously and a dis- eased condition is present. But the body needs a little extra care, just as it did at puberty. So many women injure their health by worrying at this age over what might happen that it seems to be the best plan for every woman, as soon as she per- ceives the approach of this period, to go to a re- liable physician and have a thorough examination. Then if there are any neglected tears or any chronic inflammation, these should be corrected and the danger removed. If a person were to cross a deep lake and had any doubts regarding the worthiness of the vessel provided, she would be very foolish if she did not have a trained boat-repairer examine the vessel and correct any weak places. It is just as important for the woman about to cross this period of her life to go to a trained repairer of bodies (a physician) and have him correct any weak places. The various changes taking place in a woman’s 74 HER CHANGE OF LIFE body at the menopause consume a certain amount of her strength, so that she requires an extra amount of rest and cannot use up as much energy in work- ing as at other periods of her life. The ordinary woman does not realize the need of extra rest during this period and so tries to continue her usual round of work and play. Then the extra drain on her nervous system shows itself in various forms. She is liable to do “ peculiar ” things that are entirely foreign to her nature. So common is this charac- teristic at this age that this time of life has well been called “ the dangerous age.” Not dangerous in a physical sense as much as dangerous from the viewpoint of future happiness. Many women be- come estranged from their husbands at this time, often divorce follows; all of which might have been avoided if the husband and wife had understood the facts of the case. The woman who can go away to the country and be free from care for two or three years now will be repaid many times. She should conserve her strength for a few years, then she will be able to take up any line of work she desires with renewed energy and carry it on for years. Many noted 75 THE WOMAN OF FORTY women made their reputations after they had passed the period of the menopause. Amelia Barr com- menced writing when she was fifty and for thirty years afterwards she averaged two books a year. Thirty years of full maturity should be before every woman of forty, while many will enjoy ten or twenty more. Two or three years of rest and preparation are none too many to give in anticipa- tion of thirty years of fruitfulness. A few years spent in acquiring an abundance of physical vigor that will carry her through the remaining period of her life can well be afforded. Childhood is a preparation for womanhood, but by the time a woman is forty she usually has lost some of her physical vigor, has drawn too freely on her strength and needs a period of recreation, or of rebuilding her body. Remember recreation means re-creation and does not necessarily mean a round of pleasure. Learn to be a child again and enjoy the simple pleasures provided by Nature. Learn to rest! But do not fall into the mistaken idea that rest means idleness, for it seldom does. There may be active exercise in quite another line from the one previously followed, and the change 76 HER CHANGE OF LIFE will prove a rest. If you have been overdoing men- tally, change to a physical occupation; while if your work has been chiefly physical, change to mental. Change of occupation usually is the safest rest, but not to the point of exhaustion. The work should not be too exacting. Have a rest time every day! In the middle of the forenoon, no matter what you are doing, count your rest period as the most important engagement of the day and do not overlook it. Absolutely rest for half an hour. Repeat this in the afternoon! Sleep if possible, otherwise swing your hammock under the trees and take your rest where you will have the added advantage of fresh air. If a woman will relax and allow the changes de- signed by Nature to proceed naturally she need have no cause to worry, but she must remember that rest from continual strain is necessary during this period. Freedom from care, relaxation of physical and mental effort, regular periods of com- plete rest twice a day, a reduction in the diet and regulation of the bowels should be the first prin- ciples of treatment. Then — do not worry, but oc- cupy the mind with happy thoughts. 77 THE WOMAN OF FORTY Learn self-control! Think right and you will live right. Think well thoughts and you will be well. Never affirm or repeat about your health what you do not wish to be true. Do not dwell on your ail- ments or study your symptoms. Have a good physician assure you that your body is in good re- pair, then forget it. Do not fall into the habit of making every con- versation with your acquaintances an “ organ-re- cital.” Nothing shows your age more than this habit. Children seldom repeat the story of their illness. They live in the present and the future. When you begin to dwell on the past, you are get- ting old. All things are possible to the woman who wills, but first she must form a definite image of what she wants to be true, then she must hold this pic- ture ever before her as a pattern. If a woman were to make a new dress, she would first select a pat- tern, then she would follow this pattern closely. If she changed her plan every few minutes she never would accomplish the result. So it is in all things, we cannot allow our minds to drift from one pattern to another and expect our lives to be sue- 78 HER CHANGE OF LIFE cessful. The woman who would be well and help- ful and successful, must picture herself in the posi- tion she desires, then work towards this pattern. We are products of our own thoughts! 79 CHAPTER V HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY In the past generation a woman was middle- aged at thirty, she was considered an old lady at forty, while at fifty she donned a cap, took up her knitting and settled down by the fireside with her memories to await the end. Her interests were centered almost entirely in the things of the past and in the hope of a glorified future existence. With the present she had little to do except to perform in a methodical way the duties that “ Provi- dence ” had allotted to her. Modern inventions and modern thinking were beyond her ken, the ways of her children were past finding out. While father was looked up to by his children and consulted on all important matters, it frequently happened that mother was put upon a shelf and consulted only when clothes needed repairing or there was bread to be baked or stockings to be darned. 80 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY In the same unprogressive age of womankind, an unmarried girl of twenty-five was a hopeless old maid, doomed to live with her more fortunate sister, or sister-in-law, and become the family servant, nurse and drudge. She brushed her hair back tightly and prepared for an unattractive, hard-work- ing life — hers as a sort of penance for being un- able to secure a husband. After a woman was married or past the age of twenty-five she was not supposed to take an in- terest in the pleasures of the world. Her chief aim and interest were in the home, her thoughts were supposed to be centered around the prepara- tion of the meals, the dressing of children and the numerous other household tasks. Club women were unheard of (there only being sewing and gossiping societies), and a woman who entered one of the professions was a blue stocking and termed queer. How different everything is now! A woman is not old unless she wants to be. Some of the un- married women of thirty and even forty-five are more attractive and receive more attention than do their immature sisters of sixteen. The much maligned women’s clubs have at least 81 THE WOMAN OF FORTY had the result of awakening women from the leth- argy of drudgery to the realization that work may be glorified and the affairs of the world need their interest and attention. These women who so long saw through a glass darkly now are using magnify- ing glasses, with the result that they are bringing about many needed reforms and are sweeping the dirt of graft out of their localities. Sometimes I sit and wonder what is the differ- ence between the women of yesterday and the women of today. It seems to me that the chief distinction is that the old-fashioned woman became so absorbed in the physical tasks set before her that she allowed her brain to lie dormant, perhaps even to grow rusty, while the modern woman continually is de- veloping new intellectual powers. The secret of youth is an active mind. Many a woman multiplies her age because her brain is in a rut. An intellectual back number doubles her age. To keep young one must keep the mind alert. Many a woman has not tried to develop one new brain cell since she was twenty or since she finished school. She, indeed, finished her education and settled down 82 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY in a groove to grow rusty and crumble into decay. Many women of forty still look at life with the immature minds of children because they ceased to develop after marriage. If a woman would grow and not slip backward she cannot stay at home with one thought day after day, meeting the same people continually. She must go frequently where she will meet strangers, or at least people with whom she is not intimately acquainted. If one continually talks with the same people day after day she soon learns their opinions on all topics and there is no stimulation or benefit to be derived from the conversation. That is why so many husbands and wives find it impossible to keep up an interesting conversation if left alone for an hour. Each has heard the opinion of the other so many times that there is nothing new to be ex- pressed. Each has fallen into a routine of work and a routine of thought. How different this would be if each one had been talking with other inter- esting people for a few minutes during the day, or had been reading current literature and had some new ideas to express! Living today and extracting all the good, whole- 83 THE WOMAN OF FORTY some fun you can and accumulating all the worth- while knowledge you can and keeping yourself ever- lastingly interested in current topics will knock out the unwelcome birthdays with a pretty good batting average. In speaking of an old man who took no interest in life, his son said, “ He buried his talent forty years ago, and it is now so rusted and corroded that, as a talent, it is unrecognizable. You cannot expect a man to do nothing for forty years, and not pay the price.” How rarely we realize that there is a penalty to pay for doing nothing, for the sins of omission, yet this is the payment many women re- ceive when they are laid on the shelf after years of household toil unmixed with intellectual activity. We hear a lot about overworked brains, but they generally belong to underworked or perhaps dis- eased bodies. The average healthy brain has some- where in it a sort of stopcock apparatus that shuts off the steam before the mischief is done. How- ever, the average woman has no need of this auto- matic stopcock if she only will keep the rust of worry from corroding her system. Worry is the converse of Work; the one develops 84 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY force, the other checks its development, and wastes what already exists. Work is growth, worry is interference with growth. Worry is to Work what the chafing of a plant against the walls of a green- house is to limitless expansion in the free air. In the successful brain worker Worry is transformed into Work. In the muscle worker Work too often degrades into Worry. The woman burdened with housework allows her mind to drift until it is caught into the current of worry. Brain work is the only hope of rescue. It is not wear but waste that is the ruinous expenditure of vital force. A woman owes it to her husband, to her children, but most of all to herself to keep mentally active. She is not doing her full duty to anyone when she allows her household tasks to absorb her full time. Not that I would encourage anyone to neglect any real duties. That is not necessary. But a woman can keep her house as well, nay even better, if at the same time her mind is active. So many women settle down to drudgery and lose their attractiveness after marriage. A man appreciates a good house- keeper but he also values an enjoyable companion. As one man expressed his opinion, “ A man would 85 THE WOMAN OF FORTY rather go without pie once in a while and have his wife meet him at the door with an attractive smile.” Experience has shown that sometimes a man enjoys a bowl of bread and milk if enlivened with cheerful conversation more than he would an elaborate din- ner when seated opposite a tired and fault-finding woman. If you women would keep young and interesting and attractive you must take an interest in the things about you. Get enthusiastic! It will not hurt you to get quite excited in your enthusiasm once in a while. It is the dull, prosaic life lived without in- terest that ages one. You need a change. Take a vacation! A business man finds it neces- sary to take an occasional pleasure trip. The girls in the offices have vacations. Why not the home woman? Sometimes she thinks she has a vacation when she goes away for a few days’ visit with rela- tives. But she is mistaken, for she carries her work with her in the little bag of sewing, or she takes one or two children with her and so is not free to really rest. A vacation means a change and every woman needs a week or two of pleasure without her chil- dren and her household cares. 86 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY A woman who stays at home all the time is in- clined to fall into a dissatisfied mental attitude, so that nothing she cooks tastes good to her, every- thing about the house is distasteful and she becomes discontented and “ complaining.” When a woman has reached this stage she should make it a point to go away for at least an hour a day. No matter if the work is not entirely done or the embroidery is left ofiF one waist. Go and renew your youth and then your work will be accomplished much easier. A task that a strong, young woman can do with ease becomes too great a burden for an aged person. So, go and renew your youth and then you will be able to accomplish your tasks without difficulty. Take some exercise! You need it! Many a woman would like to go out and play with her chil- dren, but she is afraid of what the neighbors will say, so she sits indoors and grows old. There are some folks who seemingly never have been young. Hide’bound by convention and tradi- tion, they have no really separate moral existence, and they scarcely can be said to have any real indi- viduality. They live and think by the laws of their immediate neighborhood. They are the worship- 87 THE WOMAN OF FORTY pers of Mrs. Grundy — nay, they are Mrs. Grundy, and so their own worshippers. Without doubt they make for a certain respectable mediocrity, and it may even be said that they are useful as brakes to a too enterprising community; but contented and ig- norant in their impenetrable shells, they make for nowhere in the world’s progress, and their lives and deaths pass like a vapour, leaving no imprints on the sands of their times. Golf has become very popular with middle-aged men. A few years ago these men might have real- ized they were growing old and in a rut, they might have wanted to play ball and turn handsprings but they were afraid their neighbors and Madam Grundy would make unkind remarks, so they folded their hands and smoked their pipes and grew old, or had a physical or mental collapse. But when society set her seal of approval upon golf, these youngish old men rushed away and bought their balls and clubs. At last, here was the long desired fountain of youth! Never mind what the neighbors say. Do the things you would like to do and keep your youth. You and you alone are the creator of your destiny. It is you who are growing old. 88 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY In order to have time for both mental and physi- cal exercise, plan your work carefully in the morn- ing and then avoid hurry and worry. Learn self-control and if your well laid plans seem to be going all awry, take the interruption coolly. Fold your hands if necessary until the interruption is over. Do not fall into the habit of gossiping or talking about your past illnesses. Children forget any sick- ness almost as soon as it is past, but the older a person is the longer she remembers it. A sure sign of advancing age is to rehearse the illness or oper- ation you have undergone. In fact, gatherings of middle-aged people quite frequently degenerate into “ organ recitals.” There seems to be a desire on the part of advancing age to impress people with the severity of past illness. Each aging person has a stock phrase such as, “ Yes, the doctor said he never knew anyone to be so low and then recover.” For- get the past and then live in the present! Garrulity is the sin of the age-ridden, therefore, cultivate the habit of being concise. Recalling back stretches of years not only makes others think you belong to a past era, but dwelling there causes you 89 THE WOMAN OF FORTY to realize more forcibly that you are getting on in years. Another certain sign of advancing age is care- lessness in dress. A young girl takes a great deal of pride in her dress, in its style, its color and fit. Aging women are too much inclined to dress in un- becoming colors, in severely plain dresses that add to their appearance of age. Clothes may not make the woman, but they have a great effect upon her ability to accomplish her goal. If you are to meet a person on business you will find you are better able to hold your own ground and achieve more de- sirable results if you are dressed in a becoming busi- ness suit, than if you have on a soiled or out-of- style gown. The same is true about the household tasks. As soon as the morning's work is finished, bathe your face and hands and put on a becoming dress. You will feel ten years younger and the household tasks will assume different proportions. As we begin to get older, our idiosyncrasies espe- cially become more marked. The foods that agree with us, and the drinks, are not always as they were, and the amount of exercise and sleep that are good for us vary considerably. 90 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY As our bodily strength and activity begin to de- cline, even before there is any marked change it will be wise to get overhauled by a good physician, by one who can accurately estimate the condition of our heart and arteries, for before long we shall need to make a change in our food and habits and now is a good time to prepare for the future. About fifty, a diseased condition of the blood vessels that we call arterio-sclerosis often manifests itself. If we do not want this to cut short our lives we should begin in these early days to prevent its develop- ment. As the old Greek proverb says, “ Know and study yourself,” so we should, with skilled help, make our own individualities our study and arrange our lives in accordance. It is impossible to give any hard and fast rules as to the manner of living at this age, for individuals vary as much in their needs as they do in their appearance. What would be meat for one would be poison for another. However, it can be taken as a rule that temperance should be our guiding star; not temperance alone in eating and drinking, but in work and play. The physical or bodily dangers of approaching age lie, nowadays, 91 THE WOMAN OF FORTY rather in the direction of over-exertion. Neither men or women, in activity or in dress, allow them- selves to sink into frumps, as did our early Vic- torian predecessors; and this, if not carried to the extreme, is all to the good. Middle-aged people can accomplish enormous amounts of good work and play, but they must learn to do them both quietly and somewhat slowly. They must learn to conserve their energies and not waste them in use- less motions. “ The pace that kills ” is a proverb that applies far more to age than to youth. What a number of elderly people die unnecessarily — that is, before their vitality and strength are really exhausted and before their work is done! Hearts that are able to meet efficiently all the ordinary demands of life are suddenly called on to make some big effort of strength or endurance, and the result is sudden death or permanent damage to the great centers of life. There are three things that we must learn to avoid as we grow older; hurry, physical overstrain and mental excitement such as anger or temper. Indignation we cannot help feeling at times but we 92 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY never should allow ourselves to go into explosions of temper. Blessed is the woman who has a temper but twice blessed is the woman who has control of her tem- per. Personally, I would not have much respect for the woman who did not have a temper. What kind of a creature would she be? A weak, wishy- washy sort of person, who had no mind of her own, no will power, no character (for character requires a strong will power). She would be one of those women who allow others to drag them through life. If their ways happen to have fallen in pleasant places, all well and good, but if not, they gradually sink lower and lower until they usually die from an overdose of drugs or whiskey. When we speak of a shrew having a temper, we really mean that she has an uncontrolled temper. She lacks will power, or, if she has been gifted with the will power, she is too lazy or indolent to use it. It is much easier to “ let her temper go ” than to control it. The shrew usually is stubborn and this stubborn- ness is mistaken by many for will power. It takes a person with a strong character to hold to her opin- 93 THE WOMAN OF FORTY ion until the weight of evidence proves her to be in the wrong, and then to admit her mistake. A stubborn person will cling to her opinion even though it has been proven to be incorrect, because she has not enough courage to say, “ I was in the wrong.” A woman with an ungoverned temper usually is unreasonable. If everything does not go just to please her, she flies off on a tantrum. Woe to those who happen to be near at the time! She uses no judgment at such a time. She will scold one day for what she condoned the day before. Her chil- dren are undisciplined for there is no method in their training. One day they are allowed to do a certain act but if they attempt to repeat it the next day, they are met with a storm of temper. “ Mother’s on a tear today,” is their remark and they try to keep out of sight until the storm has passed. These exhibitions of temper unfit the woman for regular and competent work. After an outburst, she cannot accomplish as much as she could other- wise. Her energy has been dissipated with no bene- ficial results. Her mind has been upset, her thoughts scattered and she is unable to concentrate 94 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY her attention on the necessary points. It requires some time for her to calm herself and regain control of her mind. Every repetition of these temper ex- plosions further incapacitates her for prolonged mental effort, just as numerous explosions of an auto tire make it useless. The first few may be re- paired but later it would be folly to attempt it or to trust it for a long trip. Work requiring great mental concentration can be accomplished only by the smoothly running mind, not by one easily upset. It is claimed by some scientists that anger pro- duces a poison in the body which lowers the resist- ance of the person. It is a well known fact that anger can so change the milk of a nursing mother that it will act as a poison to the baby. It also is well known that digestion is delayed by anger and, as a result, the food ferments in the stomach. Women prone to anger usually are of a thin, nervous type. They are subject to headaches and digestive troubles. The metabolism of the body has been up- set and the various organs do not receive their proper amount of nourishment. The woman who allows her temper to sway her loses her friends and the love of her relatives. She 95 THE WOMAN OF FORTY makes no effort to control her temper even in public places or in the presence of strangers. The relatives and friends often are mortified by exhibitions of temper. In these spasms of temper the woman seems to lose all sense of good breeding and says things that she would not think of saying in her nor- mal state. She offends those she loves by saying unkind things, hinting at the possibility of things that she knows are not true. She even may make vulgar remarks or allusions. She is a different being from what she is when her mind is calm. One almost would be inclined to think she were obsessed by an evil spirit. She would be fortunate (and much happier) if this spirit could be cast into the swine who, as in the Bible story, were possessed and driven into the sea. Indeed, so near the border line are these cases that the question arises of their sanity. The woman with an uncontrolled temper loses all sense of humor. Many a perilous situation or crisis in affairs has been saved by someone’s sense of hu- mor. When the temper is in full sway, the woman loses this saving sense of humor. A woman who 96 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY can see the funny side of life never will lose control of her temper. An ungovernable temper is the worst foe of mar- ried content or of a peaceful home life. When the temper is lost, all the virtues seem to follow. You never can tell what an angry woman will do or say. Her husband comes home at night, tired and looking forward to an evening of peace and quiet, and is met at the very threshold with a storm — and peace has flown for the evening. A few such storms and the husband does not try to find a peaceful evening at home, but goes from the office to the club, preferring to spend the evening with congenial friends who, perhaps, also have been driven from home by a tem- per without a brake. The husband of the woman with an ungovernable temper might as well give up all hope of entertain- ing his friends when he enters matrimony. There is no pleasure in inviting friends to your home to hear an exhibition of temper or, perhaps, to be insulted by the flow of words directed towards them; for the woman, when she loses her temper vents it on any- one who is near. There is no pleasure in visiting 97 THE WOMAN OF FORTY at a friend’s house if you have to go accompanied by a smouldering volcano which is liable to erupt at any time. You would spend as enjoyable an eve- ning as you would if you were jolting over a rough road sitting on a keg of dynamite. You never could tell if you could pass the evening in peace or if an explosion would occur that would wreck the pleasure of the entire party. The explosion is most likely to be directed towards the husband, for this woman seems to delight in exposing her husband’s fallacies before his friends. She is liable to bring up every bone of contention that has appeared during the pe- riod of their married life. Perhaps she thinks that by finding fault with her husband before his friends she is making them think she has an angelic dispo- sition if she can endure life with a man who has so many faults? But such is not the case. After the couple have gone home the friends say, “ My, I am glad I did not marry that woman! ” No one likes to see such an exhibition between husband and wife and so the friends gradually drop them from their invitation lists, even if the husband has not gotten into the habit of declining (on account of business engagements) because he would rather forego all 98 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY social events than be so humiliated before his friends. The woman with an ungovernable temper will quarrel with all her women friends and will expect her husband to back her up even though he feels she is in the wrong. The wife will further demand that he cease all social and business relations with the husband of the woman with whom she has quarreled and will give him no peace if he refuses to do so. Thus her husband’s business and pleasures must bow to the ungoverned storm of temper. At this critical age of forty when every woman is approaching the change of life she should make an especial effort to obtain control not only of her temper but of her entire nervous system. The changes that are to come in the next few years are inclined to exaggerate all the disagreeable features of lack of nerve control; therefore the woman of this age should pause and consider the condition of her nervous system. Each individual should ask herself, “ Am I irri- table and inclined to be disagreeable to those with whom I am associated either at home or in the office?” Quite frequently this irritability has a 99 THE WOMAN OF FORTY cause in poor health, a constant strain, or overwork combined with uncongenial surroundings or asso- ciates. It may be due to some small but constant pain, as from a rectal fissure. It may be due to eye strain or to pressure on the nerves. Many girls and women whose occupations require the same po- sition almost constantly, as in sewing or typewriting, find that they become irritable daily without any ap- parent cause. Quite frequently such a woman will admit that she almost daily has a backache. She will admit the spine is bent almost constantly over her work. This naturally causes pressure on certain nerves. The result — pain, the cry of the nerves. A fairly healthy active mind may belong to a diseased body, as we have seen in some few men who have made wonderful artistic and literary ca- reers, but they are sorely handicapped by the bur- den of the flesh, and their output of work has been necessarily curtailed; even over the strongest minds an unhealthy body has some sad influence. Many of us, who start fair in the race of life and who live by the work of our brains, so neglect and mis- use our bodies that disease sooner or later comes to us and impairs our usefulness. 100 HER AGE AND MENTAL ACTIVITY On the other hand, the man rejoicing in his strength, and spending his days in games and sport, is apt to let his mind stand still and to become atrophied from disuse. Cicero says, “ The body is apt to get gross from work, but the intellect be- comes nimbler from exercising itself.” A well balanced mixture of mental and physical work makes for a healthful middle age. They are like meat and drink, each necessary to existence but neither sufficient in itself. Exercise without a men- tal interest is not nearly as valuable as that which is directed by desire. In all our work, in all our play the mental thought of youth and happiness should be with us to ward off old age and monotony. Keep the thought always in mind, “ I am well, I am happy, I am prosperous, I am young.” 101 CHAPTER VI HER GENERAL HEALTH At no time of life is good health more appreciated than at this period when woman is approaching what has been termed “ the dangerous age.” During the few years of this period Nature is destined to make various changes in the reproductive system, and the other portions of the body have to adapt themselves to these changes. If a woman is in good general health she will pass through this period with little discomfort, but if she has any half hidden ailments they are liable to be brought to the surface by the general upheaval. So it is a wise precaution for the woman of forty to have a thorough examination and overhauling at this age. If a man has used an automobile for one season and expects to continue using it, he does not wait for it to break down before he takes it to a repair shop. Instead, he takes it to a garage and has it 102 HER GENERAL HEALTH generally overhauled; then he is pretty certain to go through the coming season with comparatively little trouble. In the same manner the woman who has passed the season of youth and is about to enter the season of middle-age, would do well to take her body to a repair shop (a physician’s office) and have each portion examined and placed in good order; then she is much less liable to be troubled with vari- ous ailments common to women who do not take this precaution. The following is a general routine of the examination that should be conducted. The Eyes — First the eyes should be examined. The average woman of forty needs to wear glasses a portion of the time at least. If she does not wear them when they are needed, she is causing an un- necessary strain on her nervous system which is shown in various ways. She may be troubled with headaches or backaches or just a general nervous irritability, or inability to concentrate. There are so many symptoms that might result from eye strain that it would be impossible to enumerate them here. Many people do not regard the danger signals, such as headache, squinting and wrinkles over the eyes. They pay no attention to these warnings until com- 103 THE WOMAN OF FORTY pelled to do so by total disability. Good eyesight is too important to be neglected, aside from the ef- fect upon the remainder of the body. The Teeth — The teeth may give as much trou- ble as the eyes; indeed, they are responsible for more troubles of the middle-aged than probably any other portion of the body. The average woman of forty has had considerable dental work done, probably crowns and bridge-work. If a physician were to inquire as to the condition of her teeth she would say they were all right. In a very large pro- portion of cases a thorough examination would re- veal surprising conditions. Most amazing of all recent discoveries, from a health standpoint, is that the cause of many obscure disorders is hidden away in the mouth, perhaps at the end of a tooth which has been causing no trou- ble and is apparently in good condition. People who have been semi-invalids for months and even years, who, perhaps, have been accused of laziness, shiftlessness and kindred enemies of efficiency now are finding there is a definite cause or excuse for their condition. Probably the most important development in sci- 104 HER GENERAL HEALTH entific medicine during the past ten years has been the recognition of focal infections as the cause of systemic disease. It has been learned by both lab- oratory and clinical proof that arthritis, gastric and intestinal ulcers, neuritis, anemia and other infec- tious processes have their origin in some primary focus of infection, and that in probably eighty per cent of these cases the focus is in the head. A large number of these cases arise from infec- tions about the teeth, undiagnosed root abscesses, apical infections and pyorrhea alveolaris. For some time medical men have recognized that de- cayed or abscessed teeth should be considered a great factor in the causation of certain diseases; but that many other obscure disorders also could be traced to the same source, even though the teeth were in apparent good condition, is one of the reve- lations of the last few years. Even more important than this contribution to medical science is the startling revelation that many business failures can be traced to the same source. Statistics show that seventy-five per cent of all people make a failure of business, and observation shows us that many of these people started out with 105 THE WOMAN OF FORTY apparently bright prospects. For a few years they seemed to succeed, then gradually lost ground. That these failures could in any way be traced to poor teeth never has been thought of until recently. Yet statistics show that ninety per cent of all adults have poor teeth. For a number of years the relation of decayed teeth to poor health has been recognized. We have known that teeth with cavities predispose to various infectious diseases, as tuberculosis, because these cavities act as receptacles to receive the germs. We have known that many cases of indigestion were due to the fact that the food was not properly chewed when the teeth were in poor condition, and we have been able to trace the cause of many other com- plaints to this same source. But that a man whose teeth were in apparent good condition could owe his business failure to these same teeth is a recent con- tribution to science. For a number of years surgeons have made use of X-rays in diagnosing broken bones, dislocated joints and various other abnormal conditions, but it is only a very few years since dentists began to make use of these X-rays, and, even yet, very few 106 HER GENERAL HEALTH have any realization of the wonderful things being revealed. A well known writer felt himself “losing his grip,” as he expressed it. He seemed to be unable to accomplish his ordinary amount of work. He would sit down at his desk prepared to write a magazine article, but seemed incapable of express- ing his ideas in readable form. His mind did not seem clear. His memory was so treacherous he could place no dependence upon it. Physically, he was in fairly good health except that he lacked en- durance and complained of various minor disorders, none of which seemed traceable to any definite cause. A thorough physical examination by his physician revealed no organic trouble, while a dentist pro- nounced his teeth in good condition. Plowever, his mental condition gradually grew worse until it was quite pronounced and as a last resort his physician advised an X-ray of his teeth. To the great sur- prise of this patient it was found that four teeth which had given no trouble, and which were to all appearances in good condition, had hidden abscesses at the ends of the roots. These four teeth were extracted and the next morning the patient an- 107 THE WOMAN OF FORTY nounced that his mental condition had cleared up. The family noticed a decided change in him, for his naturally good disposition had been greatly changed for a number of months and he had been irritable and fault-finding. This all disappeared with the removal of the teeth. Six weeks later he reported to his physician that he felt better than he had for a year or two. Another man had sciatica for a couple of years. Under treatment the attack would clear up only to return after a few weeks following any exertion. One day a partial facial paralysis developed, then his physician advised an X-ray of the teeth. This revealed a hidden abscess of one tooth. The tooth was extracted. The facial paralysis cleared up al- most immediately and eight months later the pa- tient reported that he had not been troubled with sciatica since, also that his general health was better and his endurance had increased. The wife of this patient had been troubled with nerve exhaustion for years. Any extra exertion tired her completely. For some time her memory had been poor. She developed a secondary anemia. An X-ray of her teeth revealed an abscess of one 108 HER GENERAL HEALTH tooth and also an unerupted wisdom tooth. The latter was in such a position that it caused con- tinual nerve pressure. Although this gave no local pain, it did account for the nerve exhaustion. A business man had been subject for years to what he termed “ bilious attacks.” He consulted several physicians, had an examination of the stom- ach contents and followed various diets all to no purpose. He continued to have these attacks, which incapacitated him for good work an average of a day every two weeks. In his case, also, the X-ray revealed hidden abscesses, besides pyorrhea of a number of teeth. The latter easily accounted for his so-called bilious attacks, for there was being con- stantly passed into his stomach this putrid excre- ment from the gums. So well recognized have the teeth become as car- riers of disease that many employers now reject all applicants with decayed teeth. In one day a large Chicago firm rejected seventeen out of twenty women applicants because of poor teeth. However, the most damaging conditions, because unrecog- nized, are the hidden abscesses and unrecognized cases of pyorrhea. It is a strange fact that these 109 THE WOMAN OF FORTY hidden abscesses are most common with people who have tried to keep their teeth in good order, who have had them filled and crowned, who have made an effort to preserve their teeth at whatever cost. These abscesses often are found at the ends of roots that have had the nerve canal filled and the tooth probably crowned. Pyorrhea, or Riggs Disease, is as old as civiliza- tion, for in the museum at Rome there are pyorrheal teeth firmly fastened in gold retainers that have been dug up during the excavations upon the sites of ancient cities. Thus for hundreds of years people have been afflicted with pyorrhea, but it is only recently since oral hygiene has been receiving so much attention, that we have realized that this con- dition of the mouth can have far reaching effects upon the entire system, and now we are wondering how much of the trouble in the past could have been traced to this disease, how much individual and national decay could have been prevented by simple measures. The first signs of pyorrhea are a tendency of the gums to bleed easily, foul breath, accumulation of salivary calculus upon the necks of the teeth. After 110 HER GENERAL HEALTH a time the gums recede and the teeth become loos- ened. The little pockets formed become veritable hotbeds for infection. Then the owners of these teeth wonder why they have chronic indigestion and other disorders peculiar to the stomach. How- ever, indigestion is not the only disorder traceable to pyorrhea. Pyorrhea is also a predisposing cause of cancer of the mouth, throat and the entire ali- mentary canal and associated parts. That we now can locate the cause of many ob- scure disorders is a valuable contribution to science, but the most valuable results probably will be ob- tained in the realm of prevention. For pyorrhea alveolaris is a preventable disease. When we have learned the necessity of teaching young children the essentials of mouth hygiene we will have eradicated much of the misery and disease that is burdening the country. We will have made a long step toward a healthful and contented people. But before that time many thousands will be restored to health and efficiency by attention to the gateway of their bodies. So important is this work of oral surgery to the woman of forty that I am inclined to urge every woman to have a complete dental radiograph or 111 THE WOMAN OF FORTY X-ray (the expense is only about five dollars) for the facts brought forward, if given the proper at- tention, may be the means of saving her physicians’ bills of ten to a hundred times the cost of the examination if the infection is allowed to remain until it affects other portions of the body. Indeed, I cannot urge too strongly upon the woman ap- proaching middle life the necessity of ascertaining the exact condition of her mouth and of having it placed in good repair. The Ears — The ears should be given attention in this general health examination, for one third of all adults are more or less deaf! Such is the amaz- ing statement that appeared recently in a medical journal. That this deafness frequently is avoid- able, being due to neglect, is the more appalling fact. A great many cases of partial deafness in adults are due to impacted wax. This does not necessarily mean that the person is not cleanly, for the wax be- comes impacted on the drum out of reach of the ordinary wash cloth. An inflammation of the ear, no matter how slight, may cause the wax to accumu- late on the drum. This interferes with the vibra- tions produced by sound waves and so causes par- 112 HER GENERAL HEALTH tial deafness. The natural remedy for this form of deafness is to remove the layer of wax. In many instances this is not as simple a process as it may seem, for the wax may be adhered closely and no force is allowable since it might injure the drum. It first is necessary to soften the wax by putting a few drops of warm glycerine or mineral oil into the ear, inserting a loose plug of cotton and allowing this to remain for several hours until the wax is softened. In some cases it may be washed out with warm water after it has become softened; in others, it is necessary to wipe it out with a swab made by wrapping a piece of absorbent cotton around the end of a toothpick. In a few cases it is necessary to use the ear forceps to take out the accumulation. The Throat and Tonsils — The throat and tonsils should be given a thorough examination. Although it is not common to find diseased tonsils in the adult, for they usually have been given care earlier in life, yet there are some people who have carried around regular breeding places of disease for years in infected tonsils. If infected tonsils are not removed the patient is iiable to have heart disease and rheumatism in later years. 113 THE WOMAN OF FORTY Heart Disease and Rheumatism — These two are very common in middle-age chiefly as a result of neglecting to give proper care to infected teeth or tonsils. There is no necessity for the average woman to be afflicted with rheumatism. The ordi- nary treatments, such as baths, massage and inter- nal medicine are only palliative; the system is just patched up temporarily, but the same condition will return again and again unless the source of infec- tion is removed. So the first thing that should be done by any woman who is inclined to have rheuma- tism is to have her tonsils examined and her teeth examined by means of the X-ray. The infection usually will be found in one of these two places and should be removed before it is too late. Heart disease is becoming more and more com- mon with the middle-aged. A large portion of the cases are a direct result of infected tonsils and teeth. Many women have a slight heart lesion which causes them to be chronically tired, although they do not recognize the source of their troubles. Every woman should have her heart examined carefully as a little care in an early stage will prevent much trouble later. 114 HER GENERAL HEALTH The Lungs — Then the examination should pro- ceed to the lungs, although there is not likely to be much trouble found here in a woman of forty, for those with weak lungs have passed away before reaching this age. The Kidneys — Kidney disorder is especially common with the woman of middle age. In the majority of cases bad results can be prevented by early treatment correctly given. So common is the condition with both men and women that it has been advocated that every man or woman over forty should have a urinary analysis at least twice a year. There is no way of deciding what is the condition of the kidneys except by an examination of the urine. The various symptoms often enumerated in adver- tisements of so-called kidney remedies might also be laid to disorders of other organs. Any woman who takes medicine before she has had a proper diagnosis of her condition is very unwise. There are various forms of kidney disorder and the treat- ment for one condition may not be indicated in another. The Generative Organs — Perhaps the most important examination for the woman of forty is 115 THE WOMAN OF FORTY that of the generative organs. So many women who have borne children have been left with tears or inflammation of the womb, which, although caus- ing no acute pain, have materially weakened the en- tire system and drained the woman’s strength for years. At this period of life when there are changes taking place in all the generative organs, these neg- lected conditions are liable to cause trouble unless they are given the proper attention. So much of the suffering among women is un- necessary, being due to the ncg1ect of the little things, so much ill health can be relieved by atten- tion to a few simple hygienic measures, perhaps with the addition of some operative work, that it is well for every woman to have a thorough examination of these parts and have them placed in good repair. The most common disorders of the female organs may be classed as displacements, inflammations and tumors. On account of its lack of strong attachment, the womb is easily displaced. When from any cause the womb is congested and heavy, the extra weight stretches the muscles and ligaments, which then allow it to fall out of place. It also may be dis- 116 HER GENERAL HEALTH placed by a sudden fall, by jumping, or other strenu- ous exercise. The most common displacement, or the most com- mon way for the womb to fall is backward. At the same time it usually falls downward. The rectum is directly back of the womb, so, if the womb is tipped backward, it presses against the rectum. This tends to prevent the feces, or bowel movement, from passing out naturally and helps to produce constipation. The womb, pressing against the rec- tum, also presses on the blood vessels, which are very numerous in this location. This pressure on the blood vessels prevents the blood from flowing from them naturally. It is held until it causes the blood vessels to dilate in order to be large enough to contain the excess amount. We call this en- larged portion of a vein a blood tumor. These tumors or dilated blood vessels of the rectum are called hemorrhoids or piles. The womb may tip forward, pressing on the blad- der and causing a frequent desire to urinate. More rarely it is tipped to one side. It then tends to pull on the ovaries and produce pain and various nervous symptoms. 117 THE WOMAN OF FORTY The womb may fall downward, pressing against both the bladder and rectum ant1 dragging the ovaries and tubes out of their natural positions. Sometimes it even protrudes from the vagina. Any falling or displacement of the womb pulls on the tubes and ovaries, often producing an inflammation. This inflammation should not be allowed to continue as it may become serious even extending to the peritoneum and producing peritonitis. The nerves of the uterus, or womb, are very closely connected with the spinal nerves, therefore, any displacement reacts through them and may produce headache and backache, which are the common accompaniments of any uterine disorder. This drain on the system often is shown by dark circles under the eyes, pale skin and a drawn, haggard expression. At the approach of the menopause or change of life, which will come in a few years to the woman of forty, all symptoms of disorder are liable to be in- creased unless the generative organs are placed in good repair. Any tears that have remained since childbirth should be repaired now, otherwise the woman is predisposed to cancer. Cancer of the Womb commonly starts on the 118 HER GENERAL HEALTH site of an old tear and then proceeds to other por- tions of the body. It most commonly comes after the menopause, or change of life. The change that is undergone at that time seems to stir things up and bring to light any neglected injury. This is a very grave reason why every woman approaching this period should undergo a thorough examination and have any defect repaired, thus avoiding much of the possibility of trouble. One of the greatest dangers of cancer is that it comes so slowly and so painlessly that it has reached an irremediable condition before it is discovered in many cases. The most common symptom of carci- noma, or cancer, is hemorrhage at irregular times after the change of life. The only symptom no- ticed may be a slight showing of blood at irregular times during the month. Any woman who has such a condition would be wise if she immediately pro- ceeded to a physician and determined the cause of the bloody discharge. In the beginning, it is pos- sible to remove a cancer, but later it becomes so in- volved in the surrounding structures that its re- moval is impossible. Some reader may think that I am trying to 119 THE WOMAN OF FORTY increase business for the physicians but in reality, my advice, if taken, would lessen their practice. It is another application of “ a stitch in time saves nine.’’ In the beginning, almost all the disorders common to women near the menopause may be cor- rected with little trouble, while, if neglected, the process of removal is much slower. The probabili- ties are that the doctor will have the case later any- way, but instead of a few office treatments he may have an expensive operation followed by many house calls. So you see, I really am trying to save doc- tors’ bills when I urge early and thorough examina- tions. There is a peculiar thing about the human race. A machine will get out of order and the owner will send for an expert machinist to repair it — not attempting to patch it up himself. But when these bodies of ours, the most wonderful and complicated of machines, get out of repair we try to patch them up ourselves or try various remedies rec- ommended by those who know worse than nothing about the physical machinery. Then we think we are saving doctors’ bills, when at the same time we are spending twice as much on questionable repairs — patent medicines, which often do more harm than 120 HER GENERAL HEALTH good. Frequently they contain stimulants which produce a mythical improvement but leave the sys- tem worse off than before. In the examination of the generative organs at- tention should be given to the clitoris to determine whether it is free or if it is wholly or partially cov- ered. Many women have a fight all their lives to keep control of their nervous systems. In many cases there is a constant nerve irritation, as from a hooded clitoris, which accounts for attacks of nerv- ousness. The clitoris is situated at the meeting point of the labia minora. It is very similar in structure to the penis of the male, having a tiny prepuce or foreskin which folds over to protect the sensitive end. Frequently the foreskin is bound down too tightly, so that instead of being a protec- tion to the parts, it becomes a source of irritation. Then we say the clitoris is hooded and it is neces- sary to loosen or cut this fold of skin. The oper- ation is similar to that of circumcision in the male and seems to produce as beneficial results. Many women approaching the menopause com- plain of an irritating discharge that excoriates the parts around the vagina. This usually can be re- 121 THE WOMAN OF FORTY lieved by local treatments to overcome the inflamma- tion of the womb which usually is found in these cases. Vaginal douches containing a little baking soda often will relieve the condition temporarily. Diet and Digestion — Our animal economy is, luckily for us, so wonderfully made and planned that it is able to meet almost all the demands and emer- gencies in the way of food, and to get rid of the resulting waste and poisons; but this is not strictly true. Every excess in eating and drinking, every unnatural call on our digestive powers, leaves some mark, invisible perhaps, on our reserve of power. As our years advance we recover more slowly and our excretory organs that clear away our rubbish heaps are not up to additional work. Hence come kidney disease and other troubles of old age. The first and very important question arises, Can we masticate our food? As we grow older our teeth generally become less perfect in their work, and it is here that a good dentist can do much for us. But how often we avoid him and put off the evil day! Though we have lost a tooth here and there we say we still have a good lot left, and that we can bite our food into bits small enough to 122 HER GENERAL HEALTH be swallowed easily, but quite likely there is no good mastication as Nature intended. Then we wonder why we have indigestion and take vari- ous advertised remedies. Many old people do bet- ter with no teeth at all than with scattered ones that have lost their mate in the opposite jaw. It is sur- prising how many women go for years with good front teeth that show, but with a lack of grinders. The imperfect mastication and pulping of our food necessarily means the imperfect mixing of that food with the saliva which is not merely a lubricant but is the first agent in the chemical process of digestion, for it transforms the starch of our food into some- thing that can be absorbed. Imperfect mastication means also that the food is swallowed more or less in lumps and so does not get thoroughly mixed with the gastric juice in the stomach. So the first essen- tial in perfect digestion means to have teeth that do their work adequately. The next essential in keeping fit after forty is not to eat too much, and especially to limit proteids or meats and eggs. Persons beyond fifty require little meat, and, in fact, the average person of that age period does not have much appetite for meats. 123 THE WOMAN OF FORTY Another good rule is “ when in doubt cut out a meal or two/' If a person is not feeling first-class or has some slight disorder it is better to skip a meal or two. Most persons will do well to avoid an excess of sugar. All through our lives we eat so much sugar as a flavor that by the time we reach middle life our sugar-using organs are pretty badly worn. Bread made from whole grain is better than white bread. A diet of vegetables, fruits, nuts, cereals, bread and a very little meat and milk is excellent for middle-aged persons. Constipation — Indigestion and constipation frequently go together. A regular daily movement of the bowels is necessary to health. Much of the illness in the world might have been avoided if the victims had taken better care of the excretory or- gans. One of the first questions a physician asks a patient is, “ How are your bowels, do they move regularly every day ? ” In some cases that is the first time the patient has thought of them, and he has to think some time before he can remember just when and how his bowels did move. Then perhaps he is not sure. In a great many cases it is a routine 124 HER GENERAL HEALTH practice with physicians to give a good “ cleaning out,” that is, to give a thorough laxative. Many times that is all the treatment required and in other cases it only is combined with intestinal antiseptics to further the cleaning out process. The most common cause of constipation is irregu- larity in going to the toilet. When the desire for defecation comes, we are too busy and postpone it until some more convenient time, which time may be too late. Nature is the best judge as to when the bowels are ready to be emptied. If we do not obey her call we must take the consequences. When the waste material is ready to be voided, it is in a semi- fluid state, but, if it remains in the intestines too long the water is absorbed and the waste material is left in a hard mass which is expelled with difficulty. Not only that, but the desire to expel it soon passes. Nature, finding we do not respond to her call, ceases to notify us. If the waste material is allowed to remain in the bowels, not only the water is absorbed but with it some of the poisons from the waste material, which are taken up by the blood and carried to all parts of the system, causing a great deal of trouble and pain. 125 THE WOMAN OF FORTY This absorption of toxins (poisons) causes head- ache, loss of appetite, a sense of depression and a lack of energy. The pressure of the hard material on the tender tissues of the rectum causes hemorrhoids or piles by irritating the tissues and causing a congestion. Hemorrhoids are enlarged veins which have been so irritated and filled with extra blood that they have lost their power to contract. These enlarged veins may remain inside the rectum and then are known as internal piles. Sometimes they protrude externally and then are known as external piles. Frequently they become tender and cause a great deal of pain. They seem to be quite common with the mature woman and frequently are the real cause of her failure in life. They should not be neglected. When they are painful they tend to induce consti- pation as the irritation contracts the sphincters of the rectum. Always in the treatment of constipation the first item is to discover the cause. We have noticed that the chief cause is irregularity in going to the toilet; therefore, the first measure to be taken is regularity in going to the toilet. Choose a convenient hour, 126 HER GENERAL HEALTH usually right after breakfast, and always go to the toilet at that time no matter if there is a desire or not. At first there may be no natural movement, but if you persist your efforts will be rewarded. For the first few days it is well to take an enema of warm, soapy water at this time. Every day take exercise that will strengthen the muscles of the ab- domen. Bending forward and touching the toes with the fingers without bending the knees is one valuable exercise. This should be done ten or twelve times night and morning. Another good exercise that should be taken in bed morning and evening is to raise the abdomen as high as possible by means of a deep breath, holding it while you count ten, then expelling slowly. Repeat this ten times twice daily and you will be surprised at the results. A daily brisk walk in the fresh air is another good exercise. Fruit or figs eaten with the meals or a glass of water taken before breakfast and upon re- tiring often proves very beneficial in relieving a tendency to constipation. Persistence will cure constipation and persistence will keep it from estab- lishing itself again. 127 THE WOMAN OF FORTY The Nervous System — The nervous system, as well as other portions of the body, would take care of itself if women only lived lives nearly akin to Nature’s laws, but they cannot abuse these laws con- stantly and expect to have wholesome bodies. There are three or four essentials for keeping the nerves fit. The first is work — the day full of earnest and definite work, not the scattering kind of effort with an hour for this and an hour for that but a definite steady occupation. The average woman tries to do a little of everything with the re- sult that she is on a constant nervous strain “ trying to catch up with the work ” that always seems to loom larger and larger before her until at last she gives up in despair. Therefore if she learns to work to a system, to do the essentials, and leave the little unnecessary things alone she will have accomplished much in gaining control of her nerves. The next essential is sleep — at least eight hours of it and nine or ten are better. No fatigued indi- vidual can do her best. She is doomed to inferior work, to mental depression and a loss of the sense of proportion. Many women who go through life, living a humdrum existence might have been masters 128 HER GENERAL HEALTH had they but realized their need of sleep. One can putter along doing her housework and living a bro- mide existence with a few hours’ sleep at night, but no one except an unusual genius can do original work, requiring mental effort, unless she has enough sleep. Another essential is play. Play is just as essen- tial to the mature woman as it is to the four-year- old. A change is play. Something that takes you entirely away from the routine of your work. Look up your old, almost lost ambition and make it your fad to occupy your play or leisure hours. 129 CHAPTER VII HER AMBITION OR GOAL If the average woman were to confess her inmost thoughts she probably would have to admit that she has carried through life a secret ambition but, per- haps on account of the pressure of daily cares, she has not seen her way clear to attain it and so has kept it hidden even from her nearest friends. Now that she has reached a turning point in her life she should take counsel alone with herself and look at this old ambition from every angle, and see if it is at all feasible. If so, she should set out to attain it now; while if it is a forlorn hope, as to be the most beautiful girl in her set, she should lay it aside and forget it. The unmarried woman who always has carried a vision of a future home and children and the wife to whom children have been denied frequently lose hope as they reach the age of forty and are inclined to grow morose and feel that Fate has been very 130 HER AMBITION OR GOAL unkind to them. Perhaps there is no class of women who need help at this age more than do the teachers in the public schools, many of whom entered the profession without much thought for the future and without any real inclination toward their work. As the years roll by and the same routine of work presents itself every day and the romance of the future gradually fades into the past, these women are prone to say, “What is it all for? What is there for me to live for?” This is just the time when the true nobility of their characters should be called forth and each woman should go into a secret ses- sion with her own self and not emerge until she has reconciled her ambitions with her future and hope is restored. In this little secret conference she should map out her future by first choosing a line of work or play that is especially interesting to her, plan carefully the best road to follow in order to reach the desired goal, then bend all her energies in that direction. Every woman needs a hobby and her secret ambi- tion may well be her hobby, if it is at all practical. If not, she will be surprised at how soon she will lose her interest in this old subject when she fills hei 131 THE WOMAN OF FORTY life with a new interest, a new occupation. Do not wait until you have time, for the only way to have time for any work is to take it at a definite hour every day. Lack of self-confidence often prevents one from obtaining that which she seeks, for a person who has no confidence in herself cannot expect others to have. One who keeps herself in the attitude of Uriah Heap, who continually asserts, “ I am a poor worm; I am unworthy of the blessings of life; I cannot expect great reward,” must expect to be taken at her word. In this age, a man (or woman) is valued in a large measure by the estimate he sets upon himself. Honors are not thrust upon a man unless he shows a desire for them. Bacon said, “ Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.” But those of the last class are very few. Our enemies are willing to thrust upon us scandal and humiliation whenever there is a possible chance, but our friends are very slow in thrusting honors upon us. If a person wants anything in this world he must first convince himself of his ability to attain that goal, then he probably will be able to convince others. 132 HER AMBITION OR GOAL It is the man with confidence in himself that wins the day. I have just been reading the story of “ The Man Who Discovered Himself,” by Willis George Emer- son, and the thought that remains with me is what a wonderful inspiration this book should be to the man or woman who has become discouraged by ad- versities or ill health, but still has one little spark of ambition or pluck left. If a man in the condition of “Jim” could over- come all the obstacles he encountered, could achieve the success that finally came to him, how much more should be accomplished by the average person who has not half his handicaps. When Jim started on his road to success he was a minus quantity as re- gards personal belongings, friends and even health. He had only one thing left to lose, and had promptly lost that, too — a name. During the closing weeks of his service on the first step of the ladder of suc- cess his philosophy of success was well expressed in his meditations, for this is what he wrote: “ Success belongs to the man who has lived, la- bored, laughed and loved; who has plucked the price- less jewel of noble character from the furnace of 133 THE WOMAN OF FORTY life’s sacrificial struggle; who has walked with his God across sun-parched deserts to serve a friend; who has been kind and gentle to little children and thereby won their love; who has also been generous to the poor in purse, inspiring hope in the hearts of the hopeless; whose heart is a reservoir of content- ment, reflecting the glow of an undimmed conscience upon a face of cheerfulness; whose life has been clean and free from taint, from lust and greed and avarice; whose love for his mother and wife and children has been so true that all womankind chal- lenge his respect; who has substituted the love of greatness for the greatness of love, and by thought and deed has served the world in which he lives, transforming arid wastes into verdant vale and flow- ering dale; whose sympathy has lightened the burden of oppressed labor; who has given the best within him to his fellows; who has turned the feet of the profane to the higher walks of life and thus saved a soul; who has discovered the noblest qualities in others; whose life has been an inspiration to friend and a rebuke to foe, and whose memory in after years will be a benediction worthy the floral gifts brought by loved ones to his tomb. With such a 134 HER AMBITION OR GOAL cumulative record, life is a success, though the man die a prince or a pauper.” There is an inherent property of matter called inertia by virtue of which it tends to remain at rest when still, but when once set in motion to move for- ever. This property seems to apply to people as well as to inanimate things. We are all acquainted with those energetic persons who never seem to stop moving. Sometimes we wonder if they even stop long enough to sleep. Even when resting the woman of this type is busy with endless fancy work or mending, while the man works all day in the office and then cultivates a garden night and morn- ing. Both seem to have an inexhaustible supply of energy which, like the river, flows on forever. Then there are other persons who never seem to move of their own accord. If some one comes along and gives them a push they move for a time, but, like a clock, seem to run down before many hours. They are not even eight-day clocks but need to be started frequently. Once in a while some of these indolent persons surprise us. If they are given the right kind of a start, they keep on going and really seem to acquire momentum. 135 THE WOMAN OF FORTY There are some women who all through their lives never seem to acquire more than enough momentum to keep them alive. They do not even really live, they simply exist and become parasites who live by the exertions of others. In families that have to struggle to keep up an existence, it is not an infre- quent occurrence that one member assumes that she is not able to work and that it is the duty of the others to support her. Sometimes this idea has been fostered by her mother. I remember one woman who used to say frequently, “ My girls are not strong enough to work. They really should not have to do anything.” So they were brought up in idleness, while in that same family one brother was ruining his health by overwork in the effort to meet the demands of his mother and sisters. For, of course, if the girls were not able to work, they should be social butterflies and must dress as was becoming their station in life. So the poor man struggled to earn enough to meet the demands of his deluded and extravagant mother. At last, Fates were kind enough to bring into this man’s life a woman who helped him see his mistake. Later re- sults proved that the frail girls were as physically 136 HER AMBITION OR GOAL capable of earning a livelihood as was the brother. When stern necessity gave them the required incen- tive they made a success of the work they undertook. How many other girls there are in the world who seem to have assimilated the idea that because they are of the female sex, they should be taken care of by some man, either father, brother or husband! Why they should think that any man should want to marry and burden himself is more than I can see, for the woman who will allow her father or brother to make a slave of himself for her sake will treat her husband likewise. It often has been remarked that some people never seem to be through going to school. The achieve- ment of one course only seems to make them desire another. They have acquired the education incen- tive and cannot stop. Just opposite to these are the women who would like to have an education but who have not the necessary energy. “ Oh, I wish I had had the advantages that you had,” is the cry of many a woman. “ Then I might have made something of my life, too.” “ Oh, bosh! ” is what I would like to say to such a woman. Almost with- out exception, there never was a woman who wanted 137 THE WOMAN OF FORTY an education who did not acquire it. The trouble is that the majority do not desire one enough to give up other things for the sake of it. They would ac- cept an education if it were tendered to them on a golden platter decorated with orchids, but if they have to get down and dig in the dirt for one they do not desire it. There are a few falsely educated women in this world who shirk the responsibility of motherhood. We pity them while at the same time we condemn them. In many cases it is the mother of the woman who is to blame. I have known mothers to bring up their daughters to believe that motherhood was too much of a risk and meant too great pain to be borne by any highly cultured woman. Some never awaken to a realization of their mistake, but the majority do when it is too late. A girl should be taught from earliest childhood that one of the great- est pleasures and privileges of her future is mother- hood. Also she should be taught how to prepare herself for this great event. Many girls ruin their chances of motherhood by thoughtless acts per- formed in their youth. Every girl should be taught how to care for her body, and the necessity of train- 138 HER AMBITION OR GOAL ing her mind so she will be fitted to guide her chil- dren. More common than this woman is the one who shirks the responsibility that she has taken upon herself. Every woman who brings a child into the world is responsible for its health, its education and its training. Whenever we see an ill-mannered or unruly child we know that some mother is shirking her responsibility. A child has no judgment as to what is the best course for it to pursue or as to what is best for it to eat. We older people have investi- gated the relative value of food materials. We also know which are easily digested and what food is suitable for a child, yet there seems to be a super- stition among many mothers that it is wrong to re- fuse a child anything that it apparently desires. Babies reach for anything in sight. They are as liable to cry for the moon as for a drink of water. But as the mother does not refuse the child any- thing it wants that is possible of attainment, children are given pickles, cabbage and other indigestible foodstuffs. A child should be taught from the first to eat whatever his mother gives him. He should not be pampered but should learn to respect the 139 THE WOMAN OF FORTY judgment of his mother. Such a child will not be a nervous wreck at forty. Each person in the world who has grown to ma- ture years is responsible for his own health, and the woman (or man) who neglects her health and allows her system to get so run down that she is not capable of the best efforts is shirking her responsibility. She is hiding her talents in the earth. It is our duty to keep our bodies in as nearly as perfect a condi- tion as possible so that they will be able to do good work. We would say a man was slack who allowed his farm machinery to rust through neglect, yet that is what many are doing to the most wonderful of all machines. We are in the world to make the most of our lives, to be happy and contented and to do our part in making others happy. The woman who goes around with a frown upon her face or a sharp word upon her tongue’s end is shirking her responsibility of being pleasant. The very least we can do in the world is to make the most of everything, to smile even when things go dead wrong. Our entire attitude towards life decides whether we ever attain our ambition. Help from within 140 HER AMBITION OR GOAL comes to those who keep the right mental attitude, who do the duty set before them but also plan how to improve the future and continually work towards a definite goal. After one has decided upon his goal he should keep that goal always before him, as the pillar of fire by night and the cloud by day directed the seek- ers for the promised land. All thoughts should be in the one direction. Every wish or thought we send out reaches some one and in time may bring us what we wish. “ By faith ye can accomplish all things.” There is an explanation of “ Who answers prayer ” which describes a mother kneeling by the bedside of her sick baby, and praying faithfully that her baby might be restored to health. In a vision the author sees these prayer thoughts radiating from the mother as invisible telegraph wires, along which the message is carried to various parts of the city. One wire reaches the home of the minister, who, al- though willing, feels his inability to answer. An- other wire reaches the home of a wealthy banker but he, too, is powerless to help. The next wire is con- nected with the home of a prominent lawyer famous 141 THE WOMAN OF FORTY for his ability to win cases for the needy, but in this case he cannot win, for Death does not listen to his pleadings. But a fourth wire reaches the old fam- ily physician who has just retired from a hard day’s fight with his enemy — disease. The physician awakens, grasps the message and immediately arises, dresses and hastens to the home of the poor woman. In a short time the little one’s spasms are relieved and the doctor gives a sigh of relief as he says to the anxious mother, “ The baby is better.” The mother’s prayer has been answered. Every thought we entertain is being sent out along these invisible wires and eventually will reach some one who responds to it. If we send out worry thoughts or thoughts of self-depreciation we must expect others to receive the message as we send it. So if we want to make the most of our lives, we continually must send out only thoughts that we wish others to act upon. We must value ourselves if we expect others to value us! This is the era of woman. Today is woman’s day. Everywhere we see women actively engaged in pursuits and occupations that were at one time practically the monopoly of men. The idea of eco- 142 HER AMBITION OR GOAL nomic independence is permeating the whole human fabric. The pages of modern history are begemmed with the record of the lives of illustrious women. Woman holds a great commission; and if the past and present are an earnest for the future she will do her duty faithfully and well, and advance still fur- ther the standard of truth, virtue and civilization. Civilization cannot exist where woman is not hon- ored. Show me the womanhood of a country and I can tell how far civilization has advanced. In the countries that now are enshrouded in the darkness of heathenism, women are mere chattels, no indi- viduality is ascribed to them. When Rome and Greece were advancing, womanhood was the mighty force that gave the impetus for rising, and when the women forgot their purpose and lived only for pleasure the foundations weakened and crumbled. What is true of countries and ages is true of each small community. If the women are ambitious and interested in the welfare of the community there is a general air of progress which is contagious. In any worth-while community the women have learned that “ the surest way to get something for yourself is to do something for others.” If you stop to ana- 143 THE WOMAN OF FORTY lyze almost any successful business you will find that it is built on the above principle. By serving well it prospers. The early pioneers were made of stem stuff. They possessed that indomitable faith and persist- ence which commands success. They made the waste places green and the desert to blossom. And we never can forget that hand in hand against pri- vation and hardship the men and women struggled together. It was a woman who wrote the first declaration of independence. That woman was Abigail Adams, who, seven months before the fa- mous Declaration was signed, sent the following message to her husband, John Adams, at Philadel- phia: “ This intelligence will make a plain path for you, though a dangerous one. I could not join today in the prayers for reconciliations between us and our tyrant state. Let us separate. They are unworthy to be our brethren. Let us renounce them, and instead of supplicating as formerly for their prosperity and happiness, let us beseech the Almighty to blast all their counsels and bring all their devices to naught.” 144 HER AMBITION OR GOAL Julia Ward Howe’s “ Battle Hymn of the Re- public ” went straight to the hearts of the common people, and her lectures on literary and economic themes were an uplift and education none the less than Emerson’s. She was an advocate of emanci- pation. She sought freedom for the slave, freedom for the drunkard, freedom for her sex. Another figure that stands out in bold relief at this period of American history is Clara Barton. Amidst the terrible scenes of the eventful days of the Civil War, Clara Barton was a central figure. She became the embodiment of comfort — a minis- tering angel. Wherever she went she took with her an atmosphere of cheerful courage, an expres- sion of womanly sympathy. Her very presence seemed to revive the drooping spirits of the sol- diers. To her we owe the American Red Cross Society, and her name will forever shine among the foremost of the world’s women — together with the name of that noble soul, Florence Nightingale. If ever you are to do your part in the world’s progress, if you are to accomplish your ambition, if you are to enjoy life in the fullest sense of the word “ enjoy,” now is the time. Some people plan 145 THE WOMAN OF FORTY all their lives that they will enjoy life later but this later time never comes. This is the saddest thing in life, to lose the sweetness and fullness, and the infinite possibilities of today, because we are jeal- ously watching the apparently greater fullness and sweetness of some other woman’s life. Clothes, houses, holidays, we have not time to enjoy them when they come, because by that time we are tired of the effort of getting them, and must begin to struggle anew, to fresh goals. Ninety-nine women out of a hundred fret, rebel, envy and complain without advancing the cause of women one iota, or gaining happiness for any one concerned. The hundredth woman busies herself with the beauty and richness that fall naturally her way, makes flowers grow where bareness was and cleanliness reign where there was dirt. And then, when her hands and her heart are full, suddenly the world wants her. It may be she has some little se- cret in the management of children, or in growing roses, or in baking gingerbread, or perhaps a little story of hers has caught the public fancy, or she can patent the button she invented for a small romper, or sell the sketches she made to amuse a 146 HER AMBITION OR GOAL sick child. Then comes the money and the fame, and everything else for which we all quite naturally long. But the point is, this hundredth woman was busy and happy first. She did not jump from idleness and discontent and envy to this. She grew in the dark, putting out feelers, pushing down roots, and she was ready for the sunshine when it came. It will be a wonderful day for modern woman- hood when we begin to measure our happiness by the things we dare do without, rather than by the things we accumulate. When we dare be simple, when we dare put health and happiness and rest and freedom first, and curtains and dishes and the opin- ions of our neighbors second, we will have taken a long step forward. The cowardly, hysterical fear of the neighbors which prevails among the majority marks the woman as an inferior. When she has reached the stage where she ignores the opinion of her neighbors, so far as it concerns her private life, then she is indeed free and will be able to accom- plish something worth while in life. One woman was so conscious of the neighbors that she was unhappy in her own yard. Finally she 147 THE WOMAN OF FORTY determined to overcome this and every time she started to do something out-of-doors, she would plan it carefully first so as to have a definite course of action, then she would say to herself, “ The King can do no wrong. I am the King.” It was not long until the neighbors were looking up to her as a woman of definite ideas and a born leader in the community. Marden says: “ Fear in all its different phases of expression, such as worry, anxiety, anger or tim- idity, is the greatest enemy of the human race. It has robbed man of more happiness and efficiency, has committed suicide upon more years of his life, has made more men cowards, more people failures or forced them into mediocrity than anything else.” Everybody is afraid! If a canvass were made of all the people of the world, I doubt if there could be found one adult who had not some secret fear,— some worry. For worry is only chronic fear, even though we seldom classify it rightly. It is fear so well established that it has become a habit. It is common to tell a person he is worrying and he will admit the acqui- sition, but he would resent being told he is afraid. 148 HER AMBITION OR GOAL What is the difference? If we analyze worry, we find it really is only one phase of fear. When we worry we are afraid of something, real or imaginary, usually the latter. We worry about our finances because we are afraid of poverty. We worry about our health be- cause we are afraid of sickness and death. We worry about imaginary things because we are afraid of remote possibilities. Some people are afraid of everything. They are afraid to live and afraid to die; afraid to ride on a street car because of a possible accident; afraid to walk in winter on account of the danger of slipping; afraid to eat and afraid to fast; afraid to go to sleep at night and afraid to sit up alone; afraid of trouble and afraid to be happy. They are afraid of a draught, so go without sufficient air; afraid of getting chilled, so stay huddled over a stove; afraid to eat heartily because of indigestion, afraid to drink water. They are afraid to venture in any business, to take any risks, afraid of hard times, afraid the crops will fail, afraid of blight, afraid of pestilence, afraid of mosquitoes, afraid of grass- hoppers, afraid of a mouse. Indeed their whole 149 THE WOMAN OF FORTY lives are filled with fear. They never take any pleasure in anything or any place for they always find something to be afraid of. At a picnic they are afraid of the ants, or afraid it will rain. On a pleasure ride they are afraid of an accident,— a runaway or a collision. On a boat ride they are afraid of being tipped over or afraid of a leak. They do not attend to their ordinary needs because they are afraid. They neglect their teeth because they are afraid a dentist will hurt them. They neg- lect many of Nature’s signs of a bodily disorder be- cause they are afraid the doctor will tell them some- thing they do not want to know, or will insist upon them doing what they do not want to do. Fear paralyzes all the faculties. It paralyzes the thinking faculties and incapacitates a person for work. Enthusiasm, spontaneity and self-confidence are necessary for success in any undertaking. These are all paralyzed by fear. No one ever achieved any great success who was afraid. Con- centration of effort is necessary for success. This is impossible when the mind is filled with fear. Worry utterly incapacitates a person for work. No one can achieve success in any line if he allows his 150 HER AMBITION OR GOAL mind to dwell on the dangers connected with his work. Of course this does not mean he should not observe caution and prudence. But these are not fear. Peary, in his dash for the pole, observed caution when he prepared himself with clothing, food and a mode of conveyance. But he never would have succeeded in his undertaking if he had allowed his mind to dwell upon the possibilities of accidents that would have held him storm bound until frozen to death. The great chemists and in- ventors never would make a discovery if they al- lowed their minds to dwell upon the possibilities of accidents or explosions. The woman who allows her mind to dwell upon the possibilities of poverty cannot plan her daily work so as to make the most of her condition. Children are kept in inferior positions and do not develop their resources because of the fear that is thrust upon them from babyhood. Think of a child growing up with the continual idea in his mind that he has inherited some grave disease, as tuberculosis, which certainly will conquer him before he has reached maturity. Some men and women have this bug-a-boo to fight their entire lives. It has kept 151 THE WOMAN OF FORTY them from achieving natural success, as they were afraid that about the time they began to reap the re- wards of their work they would be afflicted with the disease. So the effort of accomplishing did not seem worth while. Think what it means to children to be brought up in such an atmosphere. Children are born without fear. It is developed by constant suggestion of their parents. The latter say they are trying to teach them caution, but they exceed that. What does a child learn when he is told to be good or the bogy man, or the policeman will come for him. He is taught to be afraid of his natural protectors. The mother who tells her child to be good or she will call the doctor is making trouble for the future, for when the child is ill and the doctor really comes he will be so frightened that it will be almost im- possible for the doctor to examine him properly. In fact, in some cases a child almost has convulsions if the doctor comes near, and all because the par- ents had taught him fear of one who is his friend. Fear has even caused disease and death. Authen- tic cases of fear turning the hair white in a single 152 HER AMBITION OR GOAL night are on record. It also has caused paralysis. In other cases it has opened a way for the invasion of disease. We know fear blanches the face. It causes a contraction of the muscles of the blood vessels which does not allow the blood to flow freely. Fear has caused disease by this same contraction of blood vessels. Whenever an epidemic of any dis- ease appears in town there are some who contract the disease because they are afraid of it. When the blood vessels are contracted or paralyzed by fear, the blood is unable to do its work properly. It can- not carry enough oxygen and food to the tissues. It cannot carry away the waste products. As a re- sult, the body becomes clogged with impurities and cannot resist the attack of the invading army. It is like a machine that has become rusty and therefore unable to perform its function. Many people are utterly incapacitated for work half their lives on account of being afraid of disease or accidents. Whatever makes one happy relaxes the blood vessels and causes a more free current of blood. The old saying, “ Laugh and grow fat,” has a foundation on fact. If you want to get well, for- get to worry about poor health, think happy thoughts 153 THE WOMAN OF FORTY and allow your mind to dwell on the pleasant things of life. Never allow fear to gain an entrance. Fear is an enemy to beauty. Worry is a rapid wrinkle maker. No one can be beautiful whose face is lined with worry wrinkles. The best remedy for smoothing out the wrinkle is to forget to worry and to think beautiful thoughts, to look forward to hap- piness. This with plenty of fresh air and cleanli- ness will bring better results than all the cold creams and plasters on the market. Worry will form wrin- kles faster than massage can iron them away. If you want to be beautiful, put all worry and fear away. When you have done this the first milestone has passed. “ As a man thinketh, so is he.” All your thoughts are scattered out upon the air like seeds thrown to the winds. Whatever you sow, that shall you reap. No one who continually thought poverty, ever be- came rich. No one who allowed her mind to con- tinually dwell upon her lack of beauty ever became even passably good looking. No one who allows her mind to dwell upon ill health, or her feeble strength, ever achieved success. The woman who would make the most of her life, 154 HER AMBITION OR GOAL who would have the happiness, joy and contentment that should be her lot in life should make it her aim to cast out fear and think the thoughts that will bring her desire. Hold the thought in mind of whatever you wish. If you desire health, hold the thought that you are going to get better. Today you are a little better and tomorrow a little more. If you wish pleasant surroundings, picture them in your mind. Keep this mental picture always before you and do not allow your thoughts to dwell upon the sordid things of the present. If you wish a peaceful old age, keep that picture in mind and do not worry about possible poverty. Do your best and allow Time to work out the problems. 155 CHAPTER VIII HER BUSINESS AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE In every line of work, women have demonstrated their ability and aptitude. It is surprising how many women enter the professions when middle- aged. In talking with one group of women phy- sicians, each of whom was telling of her experience in studying medicine, it was noticeable how many had taken up the study after they had borne one or more children. All the women were successful phy- sicians and had not been handicapped by starting late. Many women enter the professions after they have become widowed. A woman of forty who has had a good preliminary education is especially fitted to take up one of the professions or to enter business, for she brings to her work a fund of general expe- rience that will be invaluable to her in after years, also her mature judgment enables her to pick out 156 HER BUSINESS LIFE the essentials and not waste her time with minor details. “ What can you do? ” is the first question asked many women of forty applying for positions. “ Oh, anything,” is the common reply, but persistent inquiry obtains the information that the woman is not prepared to do one single thing well. She per- haps has done some housework, made a few gar- ments, a little more fancy work, painted a little and perhaps has a fair knowledge of music, but for all practical purposes she is as untrained as a child of twelve. Yet the peculiarity of the situation is that she is not willing to do as a child and begin at the bottom of anything. She wants a position that car- ries honor and, incidentally, a good salary, yet she is totally untrained to take such a position with its responsibility and not willing to devote time and energy to preparing herself properly. The attitude of the present generation toward the woman who works is entirely different from that of the previous generation. Forty years ago when the woman of forty was a baby it was considered that any woman who “ worked ” (perhaps with the ex- ception of teaching and a few other genteel em- 157 THE WOMAN OF FORTY ployments) was a “ blue-stocking ” and doomed to single blessedness and ostracised from society. Girls were afraid to express their intellectual long- ings and dared not develop their talent unless it was in some useless line, as painting velvet sofa pillows which never could be used for their legitimate pur- pose. Times have changed greatly and these would- be-artistic, but really frightful, creations have been relegated to the attic and a woman’s talents, instead of being wasted or suppressed, may now be exer- cised in whatever direction she desires. Woman today is a dominant factor in the life of this coun- try and most notably in the cities, where women not only sway business but even the sacred folds of politics. But the women who are making such a signal suc- cess are not those who enter business in a haphazard manner to pass away the time or to earn spending money. They are the ones that have a heart inter- est in their work, who are willing to sacrifice other desires that they may succeed in their chosen pro- fessions. This is an age of specialists and no one but those who thoroughly master their subjects are likely to succeed. So the woman of forty who 158 HER BUSINESS LIFE would make a success of business must choose one line and then devote time and energy to mastering the principles of her profession. In the professions women are just coming to the front. Forty years ago a woman physician was almost unknown. In the minds of the common peo- ple she was classed as a midwife, perhaps, but not considered as the equal of the male physician. The last few years have seen wonderful changes, espe- cially in the large cities, where women are working side by side with men and achieving equal renown and success. When we stop to analyze the situ- ation we can see that women are especially fitted for this work, because for generations they have been neighborhood and family doctors, while their skill with the needle and in fine embroidery makes them wonderfully skillful surgeons. However, this suc- cess has not come to them easily, for they have had a hard fight against prejudice. Many of the best physicians and surgeons always have been broad- minded and treated women fairly, but others have jealously guarded the sacred portals of equal fellow- ship. Notwithstanding all the hidebound prejudice, women physicians have persistently forged to the 159 THE WOMAN OF FORTY front, leaving a trail that has been followed by women of other professions. Women dentists are becoming more numerous every year. If anyone seems fitted for the delicate work of filling and treating teeth, it is a woman. Women lawyers are following closely in the suc- cess trail blazed by the women physicians and from all indications they are worthy and well qualified for their part. The woman of forty was one of the greatest prob- lems of the government department employing women during the War. Any number of them came every week, many without any training, and the difficulties of finding work that middle-aged, un- skilled women could do was increased by the strong preference of the employers for the younger work- ers, whom they considered more adaptable, and easier to train. The untrained woman of forty often is a trial to her employer. She is not adapt- able as are many of the younger women, she does not work to a system, for she has been accustomed to doing her work at home in a haphazard manner, but most of all, she talks too much. The most valid objection given by employers of older women is that 160 HER BUSINESS LIFE they are inclined to talk too much. As one em- ployer said, “ She talked herself into a job the first fifteen minutes and out of it in the next half hour.” In the emergency of war times many occupations were suggested that the untrained woman over forty could do, as taking care of linen in hotels, mending clothing, looking after supply rooms, acting as prac- tical nurses and companions. These occupations are all well enough to tide one over an emergency, but present little hope of advancement for the fu- ture. The really ambitious woman will not take the first position that offers a living wage unless she can see that this position will aid her in obtain- ing something better. But whatever position she takes she will be thorough in her work. Probably one of the greatest handicaps to advancement is lack of thoroughness. Every employer watches his em- ployees when they are not aware of it, in all proba- bility. If he finds a woman that is thorough in her work and to be depended upon at all times, he soon will give her another position of greater responsi- bility : for every employer always is on the lookout for those who are able to assume responsibility. However, the average woman starting in to work in 161 THE WOMAN OF FORTY a subordinate position does the work that is put be- fore her but does not relieve those above her of con- stant need of supervision. For instance, a woman may take a position as a waitress, but invariably it is necessary to have a head waitress who will look over the tables to see that nothing is missing. A woman who enters any commercial line, whether it be a profession or a trade, soon finds that she has many discouragements to overcome, that the path is not all roses. But, sometimes, these trials are what are needed to develop the necessary resistance and strength to succeed. A large percentage of women who enter business never progress beyond the small wage position. After they have worked for some time at a salary so small they barely can exist they are liable to become soured and envious of those who are ad- vanced over them. They consider that everyone who is promoted must be a favorite or have some “ pull.” They are too shortsighted to see their own shortcomings. One reason why many women do not advance in positions of responsibility is because they are not interested in their work. They take positions be- 162 HER BUSINESS LIFE cause they are a means of livelihood and they do their work mechanically. A woman who takes this attitude towards her work never will be a success. To progress in any undertaking one must be thor- oughly interested in her work and willing to sacri- fice many things for its advancement, and to spend extra hours in learning something of the work un- dertaken. If a woman takes a position as a clerk at a ribbon counter, it would pay her to spend some time after working hours at the public library learn- ing something of the manufacture of ribbons and the various grades. Then she will be able to talk with her customers intelligently. One of the hardest things for the woman of forty to learn when she enters business is that she must be prompt in her work, that she must not come even five minutes late, nor waste any time gossip- ing with her fellow-workers. Gossip, indeed, is one of the besetting sins of the mature woman. Perhaps the greatest drawback to success lies in the habits acquired in early years. A former mem- ber of the faculty of the University of Chicago in- quired of three hundred employers of college men to find out what they considered the greatest draw- 163 THE WOMAN OF FORTY back to the success of these men. Strange to say, it was not drinking or even social dissipation. The replies stated: “ The greatest weakness of the modern college man, we find, is his unwillingness to start at the bottom of things, because he thinks he has something the other has not had. The next greatest weakness is his lack of responsibility and his carelessness toward orders from his superiors, and the third in importance is lack of thoroughness.” What was said of college men might be said of the average mature woman entering business. She con- siders her age entitles her to a position above many younger girls, that her experience should entitle her to a position of responsibility. But she does not realize that her experience has been in another line, that she never has acquired system. The average woman never does anything as well as it might be done. If she even sets a table she overlooks the pepper and salt or some other essential. The first thing for such a woman to learn is to be thorough in whatever she undertakes. If she can set a table correctly and have everything necessary at hand, then she will be able to direct others. When she has shown her ability to manage other employees and 164 HER BUSINESS LIFE conduct even a small dining-room without friction, then she can turn her eyes to the position next higher up. The best steward may be one who has worked her way up from the bottom and understands all the details of the work under her. Only by climbing a ladder step by step can any woman hope to advance. No one should expect to jump from the ground to the highest round. 165 CHAPTER IX HER SURROUNDINGS AND ENVIRONMENT No one can take a drive through a farming com- munity without noticing the difference in the general appearance of the farms. Even those that lie side by side and seem to have the same natural advan- tages vary greatly in appearance. On some we see the machinery left out in the rain and snow to grow rusty and worn so that when it is needed at harvest time it requires a good day’s work and several new parts to put it in working shape. Then there are other farms where all the machin- ery is under cover and where everything about the farm seems to be in place. For it is a noticeable fact that if the machinery is cared for the remain- der of the farm is equally as well looked after, while if the machinery is rusty and uncared for, the cattle are rough and scrawny looking, the orchard needs 166 HER SURROUNDINGS pruning and the vegetable garden is a mass of weeds. Rusty machinery warns of incompetence and shift- lessness. If you enter the farmhouse in which lives the owner of the rusty machinery, you will find the women working under difficulties, carrying wood and water and doing other tasks which exhaust their strength and which should not be necessary in this age of mechanical assistance. Then the members of the family! It seems as though one or another were sick the greater part of the time, and the doctor’s bills take away much of the profits. This should not be so, yet the farmer has only himself to blame, for one who neglects the farm machinery usually neglects that most wonder- ful machine of all, the human body. Then it, like other machinery, requires attention from the re- pairer of human machinery,— the doctor. The muscles, the lungs, the digestion, the circulation, the teeth — all are a part of the wonderful human ma- chine for which each must care. If they become rusty through lack of care the owner must submit to a time of repair, called sickness, and lay off from work until his machinery is in a usable shape again. 167 THE WOMAN OF FORTY In order to avoid this waste of time and expendi- ture for medicine and doctors’ bills, it is well to take a little time once in a while to examine, not only the machinery, but the building that contains the machinery and see why it is not giving the machin- ery the adequate protection. Fresh air and sunshine are most important requi- sites for every home. Without them, health and development are impossible. A child that is kept in a warm, poorly ventilated room soon becomes, indeed, the “ hothouse flower ” and will succumb to a slight draft. More people catch cold sitting around at home waiting for it than by going out of doors into the fresh air. There is an old supersti- tion that “ night air ” is dangerous to health, so old- fashioned people shut their windows tightly at night to keep out the dreaded night air, and, incidentally, to keep in the unknown germs of disease. Fifty years ago tuberculosis was an almost un- known disease in many states, for instance, Minne- sota. Last winter I heard an elderly man remark that he believed the prevalence of the disease in that region now was due to “ storm windows.” These windows are very comfortable at times but it is true 168 HER SURROUNDINGS that they seal up the house so that there is not suf- ficient ventilation unless it is provided for in some way. The houses of the pioneers had rattling win- dows which, although they allowed the entrance of much cold, also provided a free circulation of air and, therefore, kept the house well ventilated. With the advent of storm windows people were not taught the necessity of ventilation. As a result, the houses were closed so tightly in winter that pure air was almost unknown. Impure air breeds tuberculosis, hence this dread disease became common. Usually we think of city houses as having poor air supply while the country is regarded as rich in this necessity. However, the reverse frequently is true of the bedrooms, if not of the remainder of the house. In the cities, during recent years, the mod- ern buildings are well ventilated. In so many coun- try houses the bedrooms are small and dark, al- though the remainder of the rooms may be large and light. In one house visited recently the bed- room occupied by the father and mother of the fam- ily had only one small window and that, instead of opening into the pure air outside, opened into a woodshed. Of course some light came in at the 169 THE WOMAN OF FORTY window but not sufficient ventilation. That this bedroom could have been a factor in producing the chronic case of asthma with which the man was afflicted never had been considered. Country peo- ple, as a rule, do not give enough attention to the ventilation of their sleeping rooms and if it were not that they are in the open air much of the day they would suffer as much from impure air as do their city friends. The effect of entire lack of ventilation is shown in the historical case of the “ Black Hole of Cal- cutta.” In 1756, one hundred and forty-six English soldiers were taken captive in Calcutta and thrust into a dungeon about fifty feet square having only two small windows. The following morning only twenty-three remained alive. A similar instance oc- curred on a steamer where one hundred and fifty passengers were confined in one small cabin. Nearly half of these died as a result of insufficient ventilation. In the process of breathing, the oxygen is taken up by the lungs and carbon dioxide, or carbonic acid gas, is thrown out. Naturally in a close room occu- pied by several persons, the oxygen is soon exhausted 170 HER SURROUNDINGS and the occupants literally are smothered or suffo- cated. For this reason, many persons become stupid and dull when in a room full of company. As soon as they go out into the fresh air, they revive. It is not uncommon to see a person faint in a close room. That is due to the lack of sufficient oxygen. The effect of insufficient ventilation in the homes is not as noticeable in the daytime as in the night. During the day, people are moving about, going in and out of doors and, as a result, getting a change in the shape of fresh air. Then, too, the lungs are more active during the waking hours and take in larger volumes of air and, therefore, obtain more oxygen. But at night the respiration is slower. Insufficient ventilation in the sleeping room causes a woman to arise with a headache or saying, “ I am as tired as when I went to bed.” She has not the energy or the ambition that she should have and can accomplish her work only with difficulty. In many cases indigestion or other troubles follow. Catarrh and tuberculosis later make their dread appearance. The sleeping rooms are not ventilated sufficiently if on returning to them after having been out of doors they seem close. One of the best ways to 171 THE WOMAN OF FORTY ventilate a room is to open the window a short dis- tance at both top and bottom. Then a screen should be arranged so that a direct draft does not blow on the sleeper. A window tent is an excellent arrangement for those who do not desire to sleep out-of-doors. This is so arranged that the person can lie in bed in his own room and yet his head will be out-of-doors. The tent is fitted closely into the window sash and fastens down around the pillow. It resembles the awning used over windows, only it is turned inside the room. With the beginning of cold weather, parents should look to the ventilation of the school rooms in which their children spend their days. As many young parents do not have the time or thought to do this, the woman of forty who has more leisure can well afford to give some thought to the protec- tion of her neighbors’ children. Many children en- ter school in the autumn in robust health but by spring are puny and weak. This largely is due to the insufficient ventilation of the school rooms. A child should be in as good health in spring as in autumn. Many children are backward in their 172 HER SURROUNDINGS studies because of the dulling of the brain due to the breathing of air laden with carbonic acid gas. While the weather is mild the school rooms are well ventilated through the open windows, but as soon as the chilly days make their appearance there is a tendency to close all windows. In many coun- try schoolhouses there is no method of ventilation provided except by means of windows. If one visits such a school near the close of the afternoon session he immediately is impressed with the lack of fresh air. Before he has remained in the room more than ten or fifteen minutes he begins to yawn and lose interest in the class work. No wonder children who sit all day in such an atmosphere grow to “ hate school ” and to plan excuses to play truant. Perhaps the same element of improper ventilation is responsible for much of the dissatisfaction among mature women, for there comes a time in every woman’s life when she can hardly bear the sight of her home. She is apt to feel dissatisfied with life in general, perhaps to feel that she has lived in vain or solely for the happiness of some other individual. She looks back to her childhood days with longing and perhaps wishes she had changed her entire course 173 THE WOMAN OF FORTY of living. As one woman wrote, “ I am tired of it all. I am tired of housework. I am tired of sweeping and dusting and washing dishes. I am tired of being a wife. Tired of being a mother. I have given twenty-six years of unremitting service to my family. Now I want to give something to myself, and I am going to study bookkeeping and go into an office to work. My husband and chil- dren think it outrageous and disgraceful for me to go out into the world to earn money when my hus- band is willing and able to support me, but haven’t I some rights in the matter? Haven’t I a right to do as I like? ” This is simply a typical case of a woman between forty and fifty who is unable to keep her balance during the period of reconstruction of her nervous system. In the majority of cases this dissatisfac- tion will pass away if the next few years can be tided over. If she can be kept from smashing her cherished household gods she will return to them a little later. What these women need is not to break up their homes, to enter business or reform movements, but to get away from all their old surroundings for a 174 HER SURROUNDINGS little while. They need to go away among strangers, where they will not see a single face they know for six months, and where they will not even have a letter from home. By the end of that time they would be pining for their own cook stoves and dust- ing caps, and they would be holding up every other woman they met and telling her that they were mar- ried to the handsomest, cleverest, most distinguished appearing men in the world; and while they did not wish to boast about their own children, there cer- tainly was something most extraordinary and differ- ent from other young people about their sons and daughters. Tradition and custom have led us to the belief that a wife and mother never can get enough of her husband and children, and that all the fun and ex- citement she wants in life is just working for them and seeing them enjoy themselves. This is an ad- mirable theory. The only trouble with it is that it is not true. Nobody, not even mother, is that selfless. We all want something for ourselves, and mother is no exception to this rule. No matter how much a woman loves her husband, she becomes much bored with his society if she has 175 THE WOMAN OF FORTY it in unbroken doses. There comes a day when she loses sight of his virtues and can see nothing but his faults and peculiarities, and when she feels that she would scream if she had to hear him tell his pet story another time. It is her hour of satiety, when she wonders what made her marry him and considers the cost of railroad fare to Reno. No matter how much a woman loves her chil- dren, if she has to be with them continually they fret her nerves raw and then comes an hour when the only person she envies is an old maid in a bachelor apartment house where nothing but cats are allowed. Now is the time that her chief duty is to herself. She should deliberately plan to go away. If she could close her house for six months, take a leave of absence from her family until she had regained her equilibrium, many broken homes would be pre- vented. When she returned, she would be able to look at her home from an impartial viewpoint, would be able to analyze it and eliminate the irritating things while at the same time she was harmonizing the whole with her changed viewpoint of life. Where to go and what to do is the question that 176 HER SURROUNDINGS would block the road to such a course for the aver- age woman. Somewhere there needs to be a cen- tral organization where these troubled women who have not been accustomed to guiding their own lives can have help and assistance in working out their problems. There are training camps for men, for boys and for girls, but, as yet, this problem has not been solved for the mature woman. If you are in- terested, write to me and we shall try to plan a way to help you out of your problems. 177 CHAPTER X HER COMMUNITY WORK AND RESPONSIBILITY For a great many years women closed their eyes to the ways of the world, to the problems of their communities, and insisted upon taking the world as they would like to have it, idealized, or as it was represented in their homes. In pioneer times when each family lived on its own separate plot of ground, raised its own food supplies, made its own clothing, dug its own wells and provided its own sanitation, this might have been a reasonable procedure. But when people be- gan to be housed 'together in communities and com- munity ownership began to take the place of indi- vidual interests, the woman began to find that she could not manage her home intelligently without concerning herself, in a measure, with the problems of the community. She found that if she wanted healthy children, 178 HER COMMUNITY WORK she must investigate the milk supply; she found that if she did not want typhoid fever to enter her home she must see that the water supply was pure; she found that if she did not want epidemics of various diseases she must concern herself with the disposal of garbage, and the sanitary condition of laundries, bake-shops and markets. She found that her neigh- bor’s garbage heap in the back yard was a menace to the health of her family. She discovered that she could not depend upon the sanctity of the home alone to teach her children moral welfare, but she must go out and investigate their playgrounds, their amusements and occupations, for it often is the “ lessons not learned in school ” that are the most lasting. So women began to interest themselves, not only in the housekeeping of their individual homes, but in community housekeeping as well, with the result that many communities have undergone a thorough house-cleaning, but the majority are just waiting for some of the experienced housekeepers to begin their work. Perhaps there is no person better qualified for this community work than is the woman of forty 179 THE WOMAN OF FORTY and over. The world needs her and her mature ef- fort. With the best and most fruitful years of her life yet before her, she now has time to give to out- side interests the attention she could not possibly have given when she had the care of a growing family. But now the family is old enough so that it does not need her presence at all hours, while the lessons she has learned in the school of experience may be of uncounted value to the community. On every hand there is opportunity for the ma- ture woman of forty to give her community the benefit of her experience, her understanding and mature judgment. These strong matrons should vi- talize our schools, give us decent municipal house- keeping, supervise the conditions under which girls and women work in shops and factories and do much to clean up our politics. That thousands of children in rural and small town communities are being deprived of a fair chance for normal development is the assertion of the Children’s Bureau of the United States Depart- ment of Labor, in a report issued on conditions which tend to juvenile wrongdoing in the country. One hundred and eighty-five New York children 180 HER COMMUNITY WORK who were implicated in some sort of wrongdoing and who came from one hundred and forty-four different families were carefully studied, and their family surroundings were scanned in an effort to discover what had led them astray. Most of the children were of normal mentality, although about one-fourteenth were noticeably deficient. But lack of opportunity for moral and mental training, for recreation, and lack of variety of interesting occu- pations with promising futures led these children of normal mental power into delinquency. All these conditions were found to be accentuated in the sub- normal child who, in addition to the opportunities of a normal child, needs to be provided with some adequate means of diagnosis and appropriate treat- ment. The twenty-one New York State communities studied show a type of social life that, as the report points out, can “ unfortunately be matched in many places.” Vivid, detailed descriptions show how the families and communities of these one hundred and eighty-five little children failed to safeguard them from early temptations to wrongdoing which will doubtless lead, in many instances, to wasted, stunted 181 THE WOMAN OF FORTY lives. Although in nearly half the cases the child lived in its own home with its father and mother there was a lack of control on the part of the par- ents and a disregard on their part for the rights of others which must have contributed to the child’s misdeeds. The attempt is made to analyze the offenses of the children, which range from mere mischief or general waywardness to serious offenses against property and to sex delinquencies. The purposeless mischief often develops because the loneliness of the open country and the “ deadness ” of the little town “ give the child a stupid denial to answer his search for sociability.” Without wise leadership the youthful energy is all too likely to run the gamut of small mischief and then degenerate into serious misdeeds. What were these twenty-one typical communities doing to save themselves from the moral and finan- cial burden of caring for the misdemeanants their lack of foresight had produced? Prisons for crimi- nals are admittedly an expensive way to safeguard the moral fabric of a community. In searching for social factors which make for 182 HER COMMUNITY WORK the child’s sound development the investigators looked first to the district school, with its honored tradition of useful service. The report shows how “pitifully inadequate ” the tiny educational unit in the back country, with its isolation and slight equip- ment, usually is to meet modern demands. What is there to care for the child who has been called to account by the community for his offenses? The justices of the peace, under whose jurisdiction many of the children considered in the study came, were generally found to give but cursory attention to the children’s needs, and to be ill-informed as to how their cases should be handled. Local influence conduces in many instances to lenience where sterner treatment would have been for the child’s better in- terest. The report adds to the evidence which fa- vors a separate court for the treatment of juvenile offenders. The impracticability of securing skilled probation officers and juvenile court judges, how- ever, for each small community leads to the recom- mendation of a county juvenile court, and the ex- tension of the powers of such courts where they now exist, in order that the court may reach the remotest corners of each county — that “ a pro- 183 THE WOMAN OF FORTY bation officer may be available in every inhabited section of rural as well as urban communities.” The housing problem is as important in rural communities as it is in the large cities, although more attention has been given to the latter than to the former. “ Improper housing is responsible for more vice, alcoholism and disease in Chicago than any other condition,” was the verdict of the secre- tary of the civic study committee of the Chicago Woman’s Club, which for more than two years de- voted the entire time and energy of its members to the study and investigation of housing in the city. The work of investigation and relief was not un- dertaken by the committee of the woman’s club to amass newer or more detailed facts than had been gathered in previous investigations along the same line. It was prompted by the steady increase in housing evils, notwithstanding past efforts to check them, and from a resolve that such efforts should not have been useless, and a conviction that the ener- gies of social organizations should continue to be put forth persistently and unitedly until tenement evils should be abated and the slum wiped out. The housing problem is one involving the na- 184 HER COMMUNITY WORK tional vitality. Upon its treatment depends, to a great degree, the fitness or unfitness of the people to meet the demands of advancing civilization. If the home is inconsistent with high commercial and industrial development our civilization must fail. It is the most pressing question of city reform. Indi- rectly, it is being approached in efforts to achieve the widespread desire for the beautiful city. Citi- zens of the future city certainly will demand that the individual home builder conform his fancies to rec- ognized standards, but even more strongly than the ideal of a beautiful city is the necessity of protecting the homes of the poor in order to bring about whole- some social development. That part of a city’s peo- ple denied healthy, adequate homes, whose growth is blighted and infected by unnatural congestion, in turn, take bitter unconscious revenge. The disor- ders bred by their unwholesome lives seep through all ramifications of the city. In chief part, the housing problem is one of sani- tation. It is the direct outgrowth of congestion, or of undue density of people. It is an irony of the modern city that the poor people live on the expen- sive land, while the rich live on cheap land. The 185 THE WOMAN OF FORTY poor man who can ill afford even the interest on the lower capital represented by agricultural land, yet has to carry rental on exorbitant priced land in crowded sections of the city. An investigation of the housing conditions might relieve the tax rates of the county and city. As an instance of this, in one small town there was a woman with her two children who had been cared for by the community. Frequent sick spells in- creased the cost of her maintenance. They were easily accounted for when investigation revealed that she lived in one room of an old, cold stone house whose walls frequently were frost covered and there- fore damp and unhealthy. Tumbled down buildings and congested rooms with improper sanitation, lack of sunlight, of venti- lation, of comfort devoid of all homelike inspiration, are the backbone of the housing problem. Where people dwell in bleak one- to four-room cells, there can be no homes, no natural growth, no wholesome reproduction. The product of these congested districts is the tuberculosis sufferer, the physical weakling, the anaemic, stunted, warped children and the mentally 186 HER COMMUNITY WORK unfit. In these districts also develop plagues which spread over the city. Crime and immoral de- bauchery are bred in them. To sum up, disease, im- morality, crime, alcoholism and the production of vicious and incapable future citizens are the concom- itant features of city congestion. What diseases does overcrowding cause? The answer is: no one disease. Anything that gets in among a group is apt to spread to others of the group. Tuberculosis is the terror, of course. When it gets in, there is not much hope for the person who gets it, and just about as little hope that it will not get other members of the group. In some poor families it is necessary for several to sleep in the same bed. The dangers of this are obvious. An overlooked danger is this: It is not possible to provide enough toilet facilities so that each small group can have a separate toilet room. There are too many groups. One toilet must answer for sev- eral. If scarlet fever gets into one group it is pretty certain to spread to the other groups. It is not pos- sible to quarantine all the people who use the same 187 THE WOMAN OF FORTY toilet as the sick person, and yet it does not do much good to plaster the front door with a sign telling people not to mix up when we know they must use the same toilet room. Of course, in this particular, the yard privy and the yard hopper are the worst offenders. Whenever a group of people live to- gether in a community, out-of-door toilets and shal- low wells always tend to spread and nurture disease. The sharpest contrast between the rates of the rich and those of the poor is in the baby death rate. When the poor are moved from poor houses to bet- ter ones, the baby death rate declines. The flies are lessened, the general dirtiness decreases and the baby’s milk is bettered. When we introduce the subject of general dirti- ness we open up a large field and one that furnishes a large part of the explanation of the high death rate where the housing is poor. When we answer the question of what are the standards of the neighborhood, we get the answer to the questions as to the cause of the sickness rate. The poor are apt to be fatalists. They are forced to say: “ It cannot be helped,” to so many things 188 HER COMMUNITY WORK that they would like to have changed. When their children die they grieve, but before long they come to think it cannot be helped. Scores of times moth- ers have said: “ Mrs. Blank should know what to do for babies. She has had ten.” “ How many are dead? ” is asked. “ Eight, but it could not be helped,” was the reply. Every city needs standards towards which it can be striving continually. The first standard is that for babies under a year old. Not over one in ten should die, yet the present death rate is at least twice that many. Too many babies die needlessly be- cause of ignorance and indifference. About half the women in the world reach the age of forty without ever having brought babies into the world. To the majority this is a great regret. The average woman wants one or more children and when she realizes that she has reached an age after which there is little hope of motherhood, she is in- clined to feel that she has missed a great portion of life in being denied the comfort and happiness of motherhood. But if she will cease her repining and determine to enter the joys of universal mother- 189 THE WOMAN OF FORTY hood a new world will be opened before her. She will find as much joy in saving a baby and giving it an opportunity to develop as God intended it should as she missed in not having a child of her own. There is as much need of these universal mothers as there is of real mothers. In fact, when we consider the awful death rate among babies we realize that motherhood in itself is not sufficient. Of the babies that escape death the first year one more out of every five born dies before it reaches school age and an- other one before it reaches maturity, while a fourth is so maimed and disabled either physically or men- tally that it ever is to be a burden to others. Which all means that only one out of every five babies that are born grows into a normal adult able to care for itself. This makes us realize the great need of well planned work by the mature women of every com- munity to help care for those who are unable to look after themselves properly,— the babies, the little children, the careless youth and the incompetent adult. It is neither natural nor desirable for a whole community of women to have the same tastes. One accomplished scientist never read a dozen pages of 190 HER COMMUNITY WORK Longfellow or Whittier, and one true poet’s mathe- matical lore would disgrace a public school lad of twelve. However, this does not forbid all the women of any locality to work together for com- munity welfare. For each woman there is work to be done. Look over your community carefully, see what is needed that you can help supply. There is some subject in which you are especially interested which will be of great help to others if you will but give a little of your time. You will be repaid a hundred- fold in more ways than one, even though at first it seems you cannot afford to give your time without recompense. The average woman of the small community is intensely selfish when it comes to giv- ing of her time and talents to those outside the circle of her immediate friends. The old proverb, “ Cast thy bread upon the waters and it shall return to thee after many days,” is just as true now as it was in the beginning. Community welfare work invariably brings abundant recompense. Just what work each woman should do must be decided by her talents and opportunities. It may be she is most interested in cooking and could gather 191 THE WOMAN OF FORTY a little group of girls together one day a week and teach them how to cook the simple things so needed in everyday life, yet so seldom well done. There is as much art in poaching an egg correctly as there is in many of the more showy accomplishments. Somewhere in the community there is a definite work awaiting every woman but too often she, like the unwise servant, hides her talents and misses the words of the Master, “ Well done, thou good and faithful servant.” The woman of forty who would live long and be happy and well must have some definite interest in life. She must keep active both mentally and physically. She must make an effort and get out of the rut of routine work that the average woman of this age has fallen into. Many of the most suc- cessful men in the world are best known by work they did during the latter half of their lives. Many of these men changed their occupations entirely after forty. This keen interest in a new subject seemed to renew their youth. The same is true of women, many of whom have taken up some cher- ished occupation after their child-bearing period has passed. One of the most successful and best known 192 HER COMMUNITY WORK women physicians entered medical college after she was a grandmother. Too often the latter half of life is to women a time of social detachment, of weakened individual initiative, of old-fashioned knowledge, of ineffi- ciency, of premature retirement and old age. Think of two pictures: One a woman, old age, crabbed and selfish, hating the noise of children and laughter, scorning all opinions but those of herself and her contemporaries, and in the end sinking into the grave unloved, unmourned, with no faith in the intrinsic goodness of humanity, and with little in her God; and the other picture — a lovable old face, over which experience and humility, wisdom and unselfishness, strive for mastery. The former lives a selfish life although covered over with apparent devotion to her family. The latter is the whole- hearted woman who is interested in the welfare of her entire community. It has been cleverly said that, under the law of entail, the land of England belonged to the dead and the baby, but never to the living owner. In much the same way many good folk make the same muddle of their lives; for they spend their time in 193 THE WOMAN OF FORTY regrets for the past and in contemplative imaginings as to the life to come, and oftentimes neglect and miss their mark here. As far as we know, this life is our great opportunity, and what we make of it will be the proof of our success or of our failure. The real passport into the world to come will not be the nature of our selfish introspections here, but what we have done for the good of our times and our fellow-men. 194 INDEX PAGE Abscesses of teeth 104 Age due to mental inactivity 82 Ambition 130 Anemia from abscessed teeth 108 Anger produces poison 95 Appearance 15 Women judged by 16 Improved by work 27 Index of character and ability 16 Asthma 70 Atrophy at menopause 69 Attractiveness — woman’s right and duty 19 Auto-intoxication at menopause 72 Backache due to eye strain 103 Baths for sleeplessness 28 Beauty and fear 154 Bilious attacks due to condition of teeth 109 Body overhauled 103 Breasts shrink 71 Bunions 53 Business and profession 156 Cancer of womb 118 195 INDEX PAGE Change of life (see menopause) 69 Civilization and woman 143 Climacteric (see menopause) 69 Clitoris, hooded 121 Clothes indicate taste and breeding 30 Made over 30 Clothing for woman of forty 29 Community welfare and the home 178 Work for women 178 Conservation of energy 66 Constipation 70, 124 Affecting face 20 Due to neglect 74 Treatment 126 Dangerous age 24, 75 Deafness, partial 112 Dentists, women 159 Diarrhoea, due to neglect 74 Diet 122 And fat 37 For reduction 46 Digestion 122 Dignity 32 Divorce due to nerves 24 Dress 32, 90 Dye for hair 32 Ears 112 Efficiency and fat 36, 39 196 PAGE Efficiency in community 39 Exercise 54 In constipation 127 Necessary to health 87 Rebuilds body 16 To reduce 48 Examination, physical, necessity of 66 Eyes, care of and examination 103 Faces reflect story of life 17 Failure due to teeth 105 Fat and diet 37 And efficiency 36 And heredity 37 As fate 33 Dangerous to life 41 Due to family habits 38 Inclination to 33 Makes woman look older 15 Fatigue poisons 55 Fear 148 And beauty 154 And disease 152 And work 153 Flashes, hot 70 Foot troubles 51 Generative organs, examination of 115 Goal 130 INDEX 197 INDEX PAGE Habit and diet 37 And fat 37 And hunger 37 Hair, dye 32 Happiness and fresh air 168 Headaches due to eyes 103 Due to nervous tension 27 From absorption of toxines 126 Health affects expression 20 General 102 Heart disease 114 And tonsils 113 Hemorrhoids 7° Caused by displacement 117 From constipation 126 Heredity and fat 37 Home and community welfare 178 Hot flashes 7° Indigestion, due to neglect 74 Due to nervous tension 27 Due to teeth 109 Ingrowing toe nails 53 Inventory, individual 13 Jealousy caused by nervousness 23 Kidneys, examination of 115 Lawyers, women 159 Leanness 36 198 INDEX PAGE Leucorrhoea 71 Lungs, examination of 115 Massage for sleeplessness 28 Maturity at forty 32 Memory, loss, due to teeth 107, 108 Menopause 69 Age at 69 Disorders of 70 Nervous changes in 71 Rest at 76 Symptoms of 70 Menses, suppression of 71 Mental activity 80 Metatarsalgia 51 Morton’s Toe 51 Nerves and play 129 And sleep 128 And work 128 Produce wrinkles 22 Nervousness caused by hooded clitoris 121 Neuralgia 7° Due to infected teeth 73 Numbness 7° Obesity, relief from 44 Oral hygiene n Ovaries at menopause 71 Overwork 56 199 INDEX PAGE Piles (see hemorrhoids) Physicians, women 159 Play and nerves 129 Poison, from anger 95 From fatigue 55 Posture in walking 49 Powder and paint cannot mask poor health 21 Precancerous condition 73 Professional life 156 Psychology, of light and color 33 Of system 59 Pyorrhea no Recreation 54 Relaxation 55 Responsibility to children 139 Rest, necessary at menopause 76 Rheumatism 70, 114 Due to infected tonsils 113 Due to neglected teeth 73 Rigg’s Disease (see pyorrhea) no Sohool rooms and fresh air 172 Sciatica due to teeth 108 Self-confidence necessary to success 132 Self-control 78 Shoe, properly fitting 50 Sleep and nerves 128 Necessary for nervousness 28 Sleeping powders harmful 20 200 INDEX PAGE Sleeplessness, overcoming 28 Specialists in business 158 Success 146 Surroundings 167 Survey, individual 13 System in housework 58 Talent for everyone 32 Tears of womb, repair of 74 Teeth affect health 104 And digestion 122 And tuberculosis 106 X Ray of 112 Temper 93 Terror as shown by blanched face 17 Thoroughness, lacking 157 Throat 113 Tonsils, examination, and heart disease, and rheu- matism 113 Toxins causing headache 126 Tuberculosis 38 And housing 168 Relation to teeth 106 Uterus, at menopause 71 Displacement of 116 Vacation, necessary 86 Vocational guidance 18 Vulgar, anything conspicuous 21 201 INDEX PAGE Walk, characteristic of individual 49 Walking as exercise for reduction 49 Weight for woman of forty 43 Normal for individual 42 Womb (see Uterus) Women and civilization 143 And community welfare 178 And their communities 143 As dentists 159 As lawyers 159 As physicians 159 Work and fear 153 And nerves 128 Philanthropic 26 Worry, converse of work 84 Unnecessary 74 Wrinkles, permanent, in sleep 21 X Ray of teeth 112 Young, keeping by exercise 64 To keep 101 202 PUBLISHERS’ NOTE The reader will be interested in other books by Dr. Lowry described in the following pages. Dr. Lowry is famous as the author of the only books on sex hygiene which have received the en- dorsement of the leading medical, educational and religious authorities, who declare they are the first books to meet the standards and requirements of the present great world-movement for sex education. The books are written with scientific accuracy and with directness and unpretentious clearness. There is nothing morbid or mawkish about Dr. Lowry’s books — they lead to better health, to sex purity, and to a high practical morality. 203 By E. B. Lowry, M.D. HERSELF TALKS WITH WOMEN CONCERNING THEMSELVES This book contains truths vitally important to every woman. The health and happiness of mothers and their children depend upon their knowledge of the facts here given with great clearness and conciseness by a physician of national reputation in the scientific care of women. “ Herself ” is superior to all books on its subject.—The Independent. It stands alone in the literature of the subject and I am losing no opportunity to commend it.—The Rev. Lyman P. Powell. Well written, skillful and conscientious.—Margaret E. Songster. A book the world has long needed.—Mrs. IV. N. Hutt, National Chairman, School Hygiene, General Federation of Womens Clubs. A very excellent book that will save many from physical and mental suffering.—Iowa Medical Journal. Should be recommended by physicians to ail their female patients.—The Lancet-Clinic. It is a book for the reading of which almost any woman would be the better and give thanks.—Chicago Record- Herald. Illustrated. Price, $1.25; by mail, $1.35 For sale by all booksellers and the publishers FORBES & CO., 443 S. Dearborn St., CHICAGO By E. B. Lowry, M.D. HIMSELF TALKS WITH MEN CONCERNING THEMSELVES This is regarded by all authorities as the best book on sexual hygiene for men. No man knowing its contents would be without this important book. It tells plainly all of the facts about sex and leads to health, happiness and success. A book that points the way to strong vitality and healthy manhood. Every man ought to read this excellent, reliable book.— Philadelphia Telegraph. The best book on sexual hygiene for men and we highly commend it.—Baltimore American. The more widely this splendid book is read the better it will be for men and women.—Boston Globe. Every youth and man who can read the English lan- guage should study this book.—Portland Oregonian. A rare book that treats its subject in a common-sense fashion.—Pittsburgh Post. This is a storehouse of knowledge that should be in the hands of every man.—United States Medical Journal. It is utterly free from hysteria and sticks straight to the unadulterated truth. A valuable addition to any man’s library.—Spokane Chronicle. It is as good a book as a physician could recommend.— Northwest Medicine. Clear, accurate, easily understood.—Chicago Journal. Illustrated. Price, $1.25; by mail, $1.35 For sale by all booksellers and the publishers FORBES & CO., 443 S. Dearborn St., CHICAGO By E. B. Lowry, M.D. CONFIDENCES TALKS WITH A YOUNG GIRL CONCERNING HERSELF A book explaining the origin and development of life in language intelligible to young girls. The author, who is a physician of wide experience and a pleasing writer, has very delicately and adequately treated this important subject. Carefully written and should be given to every young girl.—American Motherhood. Price, 60 cents; by mail, 65 cents TRUTHS TALKS WITH A BOY CONCERNING HIMSELF A book containing the simple truths of life development and sex which should be given to every boy approaching manhood. His future welfare demands it. This is the first book to adequately and delicately present these truths in language intelligible to boys from ten to fourteen years of age. The first satisfactory book on the subject.—Health Culture Magazine. Price, 60 cents; by mail, 65 cents FALSE MODESTY THAT PROTECTS VICE BY IGNORANCE The most thorough and convincing appeal ever made for the proper education of the young in matters per- taining to sexual hygiene by the foremost writer on the subject. Dr. Lowry’s books combine medical knowledge, sim- plicity, and purity in an unprecedented way. They are chaste and void of offense to the most delicate natures.— The Journal of Education, Boston. Price, 60 cents; by mail, 65 cents For sale by all booksellers and the publishers FORBES & CO., 443 S. Dearborn St., CHICAGO By E. B. Lowry, M.D. PREPARING FOR WOMANHOOD This is a book for girls from fifteen to twenty-one. It helpfully discusses health, home-making and everything girls need to know to become happy, healthy women. Every mother, every teacher and all persons interested in the welfare of girls should know this important book and extend its usefulness by putting it in the hands of as many girls as possible.—Religious Telescope. A superbly interesting and instructive book by a master mind and skillful hand. It is safe and sound.—The Evangelical Messenger. Price, $1.25; by mail, $1.35 YOUR BABY A GUIDE FOR MOTHERS This book contains the latest and best approved methods for the care of the mother and baby. It is a strong plea for better babies and every doctor will welcome the cir- culation of this great help to mothers. This book can be safely and heartily recommended to every prospective mother.—The Chicago Medical Re- corder. The directions are clear and the advice is sensible.— New York Sun. This helpful book is in keeping with Dr. Lowry’s pre- viously published meritorious works.—The Southern Clinic. A safe, sane and interesting book which it would be well for every young woman to read. It deserves a wide circulation.—The Wisconsin Medical Journal. Price, $1.25; by mail, $1.35 For sale by all booksellers and the publishers FORBES & CO., 443 S. Dearborn St., CHICAGO By E. B. Lowry, M.D. THE HOME NURSE This very useful book gives helpful directions for the care of the sick in the home and tells how to co-operate with the physician in providing for the comfort and cure of invalids. Full directions for first aid to the injured are also given. Technical terms are avoided and a com- plete index make it possible to refer quickly to the desired information. As sensible a book of directions as we have come across.—New York Sun. It will be a great help to all mothers.—American Club Woman, New York. A good book to put in the hands of a prospective nurse and of any one who desires to do nursing.—Medical World, Philadelphia. Uniting practical common sense with the best medical knowledge, it forms a safe guide.—American Journal of Nursing, Baltimore. This book, quite unlike the majority of those written on this subject is full of common sense. It is of dis- tinct value to the household.—Boston Advertiser. It serves a very useful purpose and is readily under- stood. Physicians will welcome the circulation of this excellent book.—Medical Sentinel, Portland, Ore. This book will be a decidedly welcome visitor to any home.—Journal of Education, Boston. “ The Home Nurse ” is a sensible book, and it should be in every home bookshelf.—Northwest Medicine, Seattle. Any housewife can practically apply the information contained in this admirable book.—Rochester Post Ex- press. Price, $1.25; by mail, $1.35 For sale by all booksellers and the publishers FORBES & CO., 443 S. Dearborn St., CHICAGO